Grief Is A Necessary Part Of Healing!
Praying Should Not Be Your Last Resort, Take Your Pain To God!
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During my days of deepest grief, in all of my shock, sorrow, and struggle, I sat at the feet of God. I spent hours each day reading God’s word, meditating on scripture, and praying. I intentionally spent a significant amount of time being still before God. Rick Warren
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Understand Why Christians Grieve!
Definition Of Grief
Here Are The Typical Stages People Go Through When Grieving:
- Denial: Not accepting the facts either mentally or emotionally. Finding it impossible to believe the loss of your loved one is real, you also may be numb from the whole experience. For example, when my mom died, I mentally knew she died, but emotionally I did not cry for a number of days.
- Anger: As the situation unfolds, it is very normal to feel anger or even rage. The feelings could be directed towards yourself or your loved one for whatever reason such as blaming the doctor or even God.
- Bargaining: A survivor or victim can sometimes feel the need to bargain with God.
- Depression: Overwhelming sadness a person feels can be very normal, these intense feelings will not last forever. Although it is very common to feel as if life will never be the same for the person.
- Acceptance: The final stage of grief is referred to as “acceptance,” it is the coming to terms with the finality of their loss and moving forward with their life. There will be times that you may not revisit some of the above stages, but rather it means that the pain of your loss will become more manageable as time goes on.
Some Common Grief Reactions Include:
- Change in eating habits
- Constant thoughts about the circumstances of the death
- Disruptive sleep patterns
- Fear and vulnerability
- Feelings of powerlessness
- Hyper-vigilance (jumpiness)
- Inability to concentrate
- Overwhelming sense of loss and sorrow
- Physical and financial problems
- Questioning of faith
- Restricted affect (reduced ability to express emotion)
- Social withdrawal
What Not To Say To Someone Who Is Grieving!
How To Assist Someone Who is Grieving
- Ask the person what can be done to help them. Some people may need assistance with daily tasks but may be unable to actually ask. Help is available for things such as managing funeral directors, and credit card companies, or offer to babysit their young children or even care for their pets.
- Listen. Having an ear without any judgments. It may be helpful to be available to a survivor to talk not only immediately after the loss, but also afterward, and especially on certain dates or on certain holidays.
- Provide the person information and offer other support. Find available support groups in the person’s area. If the court system is involved, investigate services available to survivors through the system and the appropriate person(s) to call for further information and assistance. If a lawyer is needed, offer to call an attorney for them.
The Experience And Symptoms Of Grief
By: Dan Green, Ph.D.
- Heart Palpitations
- Sleep Disturbances
- Dry Mouth
- Tight Chest/Throat
- Choking Sensations
- Muscle Weakness
- Psychomotor Retardation
- Gastro-Intestinal Distress
- Eating Disorders
- Loss of Appetite
- Ringing in Ears
- Muscular Pain
- Noise Sensitivity
- Loss of Sexual Desire
- Social Avoidance or Withdrawal
- Avoidance of Reminders
- Silent or Excessive Talkative
- Avoidance of School Work
- Searching/Calling Out
- Restless Hyperactivity
- Clinging to Reminders
- Inability to Initiate and Maintain Organized Activity
- Alcohol or Other Substance Abuse
- Treasuring or Discarding Objects
- Memory Loss
- Obsessive Thoughts
- Sense of Presence
- Impaired Concentration
- Intrusive Memories
- Visual or Auditory Hallucinations
- Thoughts of Guilt
- Self Reproach
- Preoccupation with the loss
- Despair – Hopeless about future
- Escape into Fantasy
- Thoughts of Suicide
- Questions of “What if…”
- Impaired problem solving
- Anger – Irritability -Frustration
- Hopelessness -Helplessness
- Loss of Faith and Belief System
- Questioning Faith/Belief
- Strengthing -Transforming Faith/Belief
- Hopelessness -Fatalism
- Feelings/Thoughts of Abandonment
- Anger with God
- Sensations/Perceptions of God’s Presence
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
It doesn’t seem fair – if you want the love, you have to have the pain. C.S. Lewis
There Is No Way To Avoid Grief!
Learn how grief can help people heal!
Grief can wash over us like a title wave. Sometimes it can be very damaging emotionally and physically. Learn how to better cope with pain.
Deep feelings can overcome us like a title wave, and sometimes it can be very damaging to a person emotionally, physically, and mentally.
Many people do not do what they ought to do to deal with it so they can grow through it.
The feeling people experience while going through traumatic type experiences can affect them in ways they never thought possible.
These types of emotions can affect our overall performance and daily functioning in life. Grief can happen anytime because of loss of any kind such as divorce, the breakup of a significant relationship, the death of a loved one, loss of physical health, diagnosis of a medical situation such as cancer, etc.
Christians Do Not Grieve As Those Who Have No Hope!
We All Need Help At Times
During potentially sad times, a person needs comfort, support, and help. The first place to look for this type of advice is from God, who created us and sustained us to make it through every situation we find ourselves.
I had experienced a significant amount of grief, tears, depression, sadness, and anger when my ex-wife moved out so that she could “find herself,” which ripped a massive hole in my life! It was very peculiar because she and I were not getting along for years (basically since our honeymoon), but there was a deep sadness for me for her breaking our vows in front of God and all our family and friends.
Our marriage lasted ten years. This loss devastated me emotionally, so I reached out for help from Pastor Ron and his wife, Sue Sauer. They pointed me to Jesus and His teachings to get me back on the right path. God puts the right people in our lives to help us in times of great sadness and need. ~ Bill Greguska
Here Are Some Helpful Links:
- How can I find joy amid trials?
- How can I recover from heartbreak / a broken heart?
- What does the Bible say about overcoming grief?
- Does “blessed are those who mourn” mean something special?
- What is godly sorrow?
7 Things You Can Do To Get Through Grief Or Loss!
- Express your thoughts and feelings to God through prayer.
- Contact a close friend, counselor, pastor for emotional, spiritual, and mental support.
- Allow yourself a reasonable amount of time to feel sad and process your thoughts and feelings.
- Keep your routine generally going as possible such as work, social, and daily self-care.
- Sleep 7-8 hours per night, keep a healthy routine overall.
- Avoid unnecessary medications or alcohol.
- Eat healthily drink plenty of water, avoid overeating or under eating.
There Will Be No More Tears In Heaven Revelation 21:4
Grief Needs To Be Shared Properly!
We Can Stand On God’s Promise That:
- God is with us.
- Will sustain us
- He is and will carry us through each circumstance we face in this life and forever. ‘
- Will NEVER leave us nor forsake us
Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
The Five Stages Of The Grief Prosses!
What If My Problems Seem Out Of Control?
Find Hope And Encouragement From Our Links!
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