Response Letters 1
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I would love to share more in detail, but I just lost my dad a week ago. He was like my best friend. He leaves behind my mom and six kids. I’m trying to be as strong as possible. Please, I need to talk to someone. I’m hurting, grieving, and broken inside.
Hi, I am very sorry for your loss. My mom died three years ago, and I think of her often. My first thought is to point you to Jesus Christ. I do not know what you believe, but if you trust in God he can and will comfort you and direct you…If you do not have a relationship with God, then I would strongly advise looking into one.
You can check out. https://needencouragement.com/need-god/ For dealing with the grief, you can visit. https://needencouragement.com/grief/When my mom died, I found comfort in journaling, here is a link that you might find interesting. I have a running log that I wrote things about my mom. She too was my best friend. I am the youngest of 4 Italian siblings, and my mom always favored me. https://needencouragement.com/death/I hope what I shared has helped a little…Also, you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone that can also help you! God bless you and keep looking to God for your strength and comfort.
Sex before marriage. We are 51-year-old grandparents both of us feel way too old even talking about this, but I don’t want an opinion about what the Bible says.
Hi Larry, The Bible is very clear about sex outside of marriage. Here is a page you can visit that might give you what you are looking to discover. https://needencouragement.com/sex-out-side-of-marriage/Here is another link that you might benefit from also. https://www.gotquestions.org/sex-before-marriage.html I hope what I have shared has been of help to you if you need to talk to someone, you can call 800-633-3446.I pray that you find the answers that you need. God bless you!
Bill Greguska ><>
My husband struggles with addiction and alcoholism, I need some advice
Without knowing a lot more details, the first thing I would suggest that you do is to go to God and pray for your husband’s addiction, that would be the first step to take. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Then if you can talk with him to find out if he would be willing to get some out-patient help with a counselor, or even going to an AA or NA meeting. NeedEncouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs
Do you go to a church that offers support for alcohol or drugs? Needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I am just guessing, that outside of his drinking, he is not finding much joy or peace with God, himself, or others in his life. Can you think of what you can do to help your husband since you know if well? Whatever you have tried to do to help him, and it does not work, try to think of another solution. In the meantime, you need to be strong and also take care of yourself. Have you ever heard of Alanon meetings, they are a support group to help those who have husbands, or wives, or relatives that are affected by their significant others drinking or drug problem. Here is a link to get some help for you… https://al-anon.org/newcomers/
I attended both AA and NA for about ten years, and now I only go to church to get my help from God. I have been sober and clean since June 25, 1986, and it was the best thing I did in my life besides accepting Jesus Christ into my life! NeedEncouragement.com/12-step-program
It does not matter how your husband is responding right now, but if you take care of yourself and get your marching orders from God, you will be in good shape if he finds out that you are interested in going to get help for yourself. I am pretty sure that he will wake up and realize that he has a problem, and you’re serious about getting help for the two of you.
I am trusting that God has the answers for you, and I pray that they come along quickly. And I pray that God gives both you and your husband wisdom and strength to make it through this together! It might not be easy, but it will be worth it believe me!
Is there any way that we can talk on the phone?
Sorry, I make it a practice not to talk on the phone, especially with women. If you have anything you want to ask me or share with me via email, I’d be willing to talk that way with you a little.
If you don’t have a close friend or family member you can share with, you might think about seeing who can be of help to you who you respect and trust.
If you don’t have a church to go to, I would suggest finding one.
If you feel like you’re in any danger, I would suggest removing yourself from the situation temporarily.
Let me know if you would like to ask me anything or tell me something; I’d be willing to help you if I can?
Above all, I strongly, strongly suggest you take all of this to God and prayer!!! I am praying for you and your husband!
I really need help, I am running on empty!
There is an expression that goes like this called HALT:
Do not get too:
My suggestion to you is to stop right now and pray to God to give you the wisdom you need to make some changes in your life.
James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously without finding fault.
- Are you saying yes to too many things?
- Are you trying to please everyone but forgetting your needs?
- Are you neglecting God lately?
- Are you getting enough sleep?
- Are you getting enough exercise? NeedEncouragement.com/exercise
- Are you eating healthy foods? NeedEncouragement.com/healthy-food
Without knowing more details, I think if you reflect on these questions and the HALT idea, you are on your way to recovery from your running on empty.
It sounds like you need to pamper yourself. Do not feel as though you have to take on the whole world, if you call in sick tomorrow, that might be the wisest thing you could do for yourself. When was the last time you saw your doctor?
When I was going through a divorce back in 2007, my pastor Dave Briscoe wisely back then gave me a quote to think about. It went like this:
“Life is a marathon, not a sprint, throttle down, or you will run out of gas!” ~ Pastor Dave Briscoe
I hope and pray, that what I have shared with you can be of help to you! Throttle down and hang in there, call upon the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!
800-633-3446 call 24/7
My husband and I have been married for 13 months. Together for 18. I have temporarily left our home due to angry outbursts that have made me feel unsafe on a physical and emotional level. Seeking counsel.
When you said that you temporarily left your home, did you mean just packed a few clothes and things and plan to come back real soon like a day or two?
My first advice to you would be to pray for your husband and your marriage and also yourself.
Second of all, I strongly advise you get a third person involved to mediate between the two of you. Someone that he can trust and confide in and someone you can trust and confide in too. Maybe a pastor, maybe a counselor, but someone soon! Make sure that you do not get too comfortable away from him. Otherwise, your marriage will be on a slippery slope to divorce.
As much as you would want, you can not change your husband, but the Holy Spirit can and will if you put your marriage in an open palm to the Lord. But you would be wise to look at what your husband is getting upset about; maybe the problem is drinking? Perhaps it is something you are doing or saying? Maybe it is excess stress, money problems, etc.
Having a third person to bounce things off of, will benefit both you individually and your husband personally and the two of you as a couple. NeedEncouragement.com/free-christian-counseling
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT OR REFER TO THE WORD DIVORCE; you have just hit a speed bump and bailing out now (even thinking about bailing out) is the worst thing you can do, you have become married before God and the others at your wedding. Divorce does not solve your problems; it only changes them. I know I have been divorced myself, and if my wife would have put more faith into our marriage, we might have still been married and stronger because of it, but she wanted immediate gratification, which ended in a broken home, major problems for my stepson, etc.
- Pray for your marriage. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Get wise counsel that you both agree upon NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
- Examine your own life (get the log out of our eye before trying to get the speck out of the other person life)
- Have a plan to get back into the house asap
- Forgive your husband and ask him to forgive you
- Discover the root of this problem and work with your husband to resolve it (work as a team)
Jill, I am praying for you right now that your heart can be soft, yet at the same time that you use good wisdom from God to get your marriage back on track!
Hi. I was inquiring about some counseling, someone for my 10-year-old daughter to speak with. Her father and I separated in 2014, and the divorce finalized in 2016, we have 50/50. I feel she needs some encouraging words and guidance on how to handle two separate homes and her communication.
Good Morning Angela,
Thank you for reaching out. Divorce is a tough thing for a child to go through. My first thought would be, is there any possible chance that you and your husband could get back together? If, for some reason that is not an option, unfortunately, what your daughter is experiencing is a part of the divorce problem that our country is experiencing.
Unfortunately, I too have been divorced myself, I can relate to the pain you are experiencing. I was involved in a divorce that I did not want, and my stepson is 26 right now, and the separation was 11 years ago, he has positively been affected negatively by the divorce yet despite that, he had made it through, yet he has experienced some damage because of it which to a point is almost inevitable. You just need to do your best, point your daughter to the Lord. Listen to your daughter’s needs and get her involved with church and with other Christian kids.
I wish I had an easy fix for you, but I do not. All I can say is to try to talk with your ex respectfully, explaining that both he and you love her and that you are very sorry that you and her dad cannot live together anymore. Divorce is an excruciating thing and will leave scares not only on you and your ex but also on her. The Bible talks about God hating divorce, and this is just one of the by-products of separation that you will have to go through prayerfully. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Try to put your ‘adult emotions’ aside no matter why you got divorced, and be as nice as you can in front of your ex and even say nice things about him to your daughter. You may be divorced, but you do not have to “act” like you are divorced.
Unfortunately, you are in a tough situation and expect some repercussions to the decision that you guys made to get divorced. It would be wise to go to God in prayer and ask Him what you need to do. Is there a chance that you and your ex could get together all three of you maybe once every other week. That might brings some healing to not only her but the two of you. NeedEncouragement.com/healing-from-divorce
To minimize the scares I would encourage your daughter to talk about her feelings with you, write about her feelings, Make sure you give her enough time and attention, do things with her and consider seeing a Christian counselor I would suggest that you call 800-633-3446 to talk with someone who can listen to you and give you some insights. NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
Trust that God has this situation under control and that He has a plan for your life as well as your ex-husband’s life, and as well as your daughter’s life! I will be praying for you, and I suggest that you do the same.
I would like to join the email list.
Thank you for contacting us, I will put you on our email list right away.
I send out at least one email per week on average.
Feel free to forward them to others that you know who might be interested in.
Have a blessed day!
The slander & lies toward me at work now has escalated to managers now on board and giving me a discipline letter. I’m only 6 1/2 months away too early retirement. I met union and told me to put in some incident reports as well as do a rebuttal yo letter I received. In the past when I try to defend myself things kept getting worse. Do I put in incident reports against them? How do I do this and still leave it in God’s hands?
Good morning Shelly,I am glad you have reached out for some encouragement. I will try to give you my opinion, yet it is hard to say without knowing all about what you are going through.A couple of things to keep in mind are:
- Pray about this situation asking God for His wisdom. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
- Pray that you can peacefully talk to the person(s) who have accused you.
- Pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- You might consider filing a grievance letter in your defense as long as the claims are false against you.
- You need to pray for yourself, that you do not let your hurt and anger come out in words that will discredit your character.
- God will always defend us, yet sometimes we need to speak up for ourselves and defend ourselves respectfully and calmly. Do not overreact and raise your voice or speak ungodly towards them.
Is there someone at work that could give you some advice?
I would respectfully defend myself and confront the person who falsely accused you of making sure you have a witness there (not alone).
I pray that you handle this situation in a mature way that will give honor to God, and when it is all over, give praise to God!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
I lost my baby boy on February, 4th 2018. Every since I lost him, I’ve been feeling down, and I have days where I break down and cry because I miss him so much. I was only 4 1/2 months, but I still feel like he was a part of me. I was just starting to love him. He was my first child. I have days where my mood changes when I see babies and pregnant friends, I get very emotional.
I can understand your feelings of depression, and it must be excruciating. I do not know if my words to you can encourage you? I can not take away your pain, only God and time can, but I can try to point you to Him via this email, hopefully!
I do know who can encourage you, and that is Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Trust in Him today by telling him of your gut-wrenching pain that is still lingering with you. I will try my best to encourage you, and I will also pray for you…
I remember years ago when my daughter’s mother broke up with me, and I was at wit’s end about it. I recall vividly that a counselor who I went to see told me something profound, she said, “God loves me, and He would understand my feelings of great sadness, yet at the same time, God would also want me to experience joy in my life again despite the loss of my daughter’s mother, and my daughter.” (This happened 34 years ago and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I felt an unusual peace knowing that I could release my daughter’s mother and my daughter Sherry.) I realized that I still had my life to live, and her words were a great reminder for me.
Later on in my life, my former pastor’s wife, Sue Sauer, also gave me some wise counsel when it comes to letting go of painful memories and disappointments. Sue told me I need to keep an open palm about all people and things in my life. This she explained because if God decides to take a person of a thing out of my life (palm) if I do not have an open palm, it will be excruciating and that God is ultimately in control, realizing God allows things to happen beyond our human understanding.
I am incredibly sorry for the loss of your child. I do have a few suggestions to KEEP in mind to help you:
- Keep praying and keep close to God.
- Keep in fellowship with other believers in your church and friends, if you do not have a church, find one. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
- Keep talking about this to those you know and trust who can help comfort you and guide you through this time in your life.
- Keep busy with your life and other relationships that you are involved in.
- Keep open to the leading of the Lord, maybe adoption or trying to have another child might be an option down the road.
- Keep your faith and do not doubt the Lord, for he still has a plan for your life.
- Keep up with your health, exercise, eat healthy foods, get proper sleep, drink plenty of water.
- Keep your communication with God, write God a letter when you are up to it leasing your child to Him, and seeking God’s will.
Please forgive me if I said something that might have hurt you, that was not my intention at all, I want to encourage you to get your life back on track, as my brother Tom told me during an unfortunate time in my life by telling me something that made sense and helped me. He said, “Do all you can do, and then just turn the page.”
I pray that you will start today to begin to heal as you apply some of the things that I suggested. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:4-5
May God bless you!
(Continued Letter 2)
I was thinking about your situation, and a Christian friend of mine Peg told me about a website, here is a link that I think will be of help to you. At least please watch the video. I think you will find comfort in watching it.
May God bless you!
Kindly assist me on what to do to avoid sex before marriage with my partner. We already took it far, have a baby together and don’t know how to stop it.
I am glad you contacted me. To answer your question, I would have to ask you a question, “Do you love the Lord with all your heart? If the answer is no, then whatever I say will not really matter to you anyway.
But if the answer is yes, then you would not want to dishonor God by continuing to have sex before marriage.
You would need to talk this over with your girlfriend, and if she really does love you (for more than just having sex with you) and you with her, and if she loves the Lord too, then she would be in agreement with you and this would not need to be a problem any longer. Problem Solved!!!
Bringing up this question tells me that the Holy Spirit has convinced you in your heart. Keep in mind that sin is pleasurable for a season, yet with sin comes spiritual death if not confessed to God. It says in the Bible in 1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
When you talk to your girlfriend, you will learn about her character and yours too. If she is not willing to avoid having sex, then I suggest that you be the leader and refrain from it yourself. I can guess that you are living together, which makes things harder. (Check out this link NeedEncouragement.com/sex-outside-marriage )
Here is a scripture that might be of help to you. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion
- Do you guys want to get married?
- Have you ever talked about marriage?
- What is stopping you from asking her to marry you?
- Do you have a church that you attend?
- Do you have any Christian guidance from anyone?
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Gaylord, Believe me when I tell you that I am not judging you or speaking down to you, I agree with the Bible, because I was not married and got my girlfriend pregnant which caused a lot of problems in our life. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up, and that caused a great deal of pain and heartache for both of us and my daughter, who is now 34 years old. Thank God that God loves us even when we sin, but many consequences go with our sin that we have no control over. Fortunately, my daughter and I have a good relationship, and she too knows the Lord, Praise God for what the locust has devoured, God has restored! You still have a chance to avoid more judgment of God. I suggest that you get under the umbrella of God and find yourself a church (check out this link NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church ) and recommit your lives to God and raise your baby with love for the Lord and with respect and fear of the Lord
I hope what I have shared will be of help to you and your girlfriend and baby. If you need some help with how to pray, (check out this link NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray ) I will be praying that God gives you strength and wisdom that those in this world will not give you, and that you get on the right track today! When you talk with your girlfriend, be very patient and let her talk after you tell her what is on your mind about this matter. You will be just fine!
You can call this number if you would like to talk with someone who cares 800-633-3446
You can chat with someone by (checking out this link needencouragement/talk-with-someone )
Need someone to talk to about my family situation
It is very wise for you to want to seek counsel, you have made a right decision!
Please feel free to call this phone number to talk with someone who can give you some guidance. 800-633-3446
You can also chat with someone by visiting https://needencouragement.com/chat/
I will pray that God gives you the wisdom that you need to help yourself and your family.
God Bless You,
May I please receive a women’s daily devotional study Bible and Daily Devotional or journal?
Hi, Thank you for contacting NeedEncouragement.com. I hope things are going well for you.As far as getting a devotional from us, what I can do is to point you to NeedEncouragement.com/devotionals, which you will find some information on devotionals to help you.You might also want to contact 800-633-3446 to be able to talk with someone right away, or you can visit NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone that you can chat with someone online if that is something you might find helpful.God bless you,
Need a free Bible
Thanks for contacting me. You can get your own free Bible by going to https://needencouragement.com/free-bible/; Just follow the prompts and sign up, and one will come right to your house. Free Bible and Free Delivery!
May God bless you and continue to draw himself closer to you.
I feel to far gone or like I’ve already failed at being a practicing Christian. I need help. I need help.
Without hearing more, I would first suggest that you take this concern to God in prayer, if you need some help with prayer, go to:needencouragement.com/how-to-pray
Second of all, I take it that you are not involved in a church. Or if you are, you then need to talk to those in your church. If you need a church, go to: NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.
If you need to talk to someone right away, you can call 800-633-3446.
If you would rather chat with someone, you can go to: NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone.
I pray for you right now that whatever you are struggling with specifically, that the Lord gives you the wisdom to determine what you ought to do. Look up James 1:5 which will encourage you! Do not let yourself become discouraged, trust that God has a plan for your life, and your job is to find out what it is by reading his word in the Bible and praying about it.
God bless you,
Need to talk to someone, please
I got your message, and you can call 800-633-3446, or you can text with someone by going to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
If you need a church to attend, you can check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I will pray that whatever you are going through, that you ask God to walk with you through it.
Also, pray that God gives you the wisdom to know what to do and what not to do.
May God bless you,
Can you please send me the print book about eating disorders thanks
Hi,I am glad you reached out for help, that is an excellent sign that you are serious about getting things in your life together.My first question is, do you believe that God can heal you from your eating problem? If not, my second question is, are you willing to ask God in prayer to help you? Here is a link that can give you some ideas on how to pray for help. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/I am sorry I do not have any printed materials for eating disorders, but you can check out this link that might be of some help to you. https://needencouragement.com/overeating/Check out the website for other topics that might be of help to you. I pray that you continue to have a desire to help yourself and that your support will come first of all from Jesus Christ and whoever God puts in your path. Here is a phone number you can call to talk with someone 800-633-3446. Or you can check out https://needencouragement.com/talk-with-someone/I hope what I have shared has been of some help to you…
Bill Greguska ><>
I am physically disabled, spend a majority of time alone, am a Christian, but struggle with loneliness and sometimes go to wrong places on the computer. for comfort etc. when I know the answer is Jesus
Do you have any long-term female mentors
You are wise to want to hook up with a female mentor. I will ask a few lady friends, and hopefully, one of them might be available and interested in being a mentor to you.
I will pray that someone will real soon, yet in the meantime, our number one mentor is Jesus Christ. Go to him in prayer and into his word, and you will find more answers that way.Please contact me back if you do not hear from me by Friday. I am going to Bible study tonight and maybe one of the ladies there might be available.In the meantime, you can try to contact this number 800-633-3446. I have discovered that they don’t always answer the first time you call, but they have a beautiful recorded message worth hearing.
God bless you, and we will be in touch soon.
I am getting back to you sooner than I expected, I just heard from my pastor Mark, I told him about you, and he wanted me to ask you a couple of questions.
1. Do you have a church home, and if so, could they have a mentor for you? If not visit NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
2. Are there any Christians near her or family members who she could spend time in The Word and fellowship with you?
3. What do you want of a mentor (on the phone, email, in person, Skype, etc.)?
4. Describe your faith walk with Jesus Christ – how long, church membership, born again?
This information will be helpful to know to help make a match for you with a possible mentor.
I am sure that God would be pleased if you had a mentor to help you grow closer to him and others, and apparently, you would like one too, be patient, and I am sure God will hear and answer your sincere request for help in a matter of time.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with stopping masturbation. I grew up in a Christian home, and I know that I have God in my heart but I struggle with masturbation. I’ll stop for a couple of days, weeks or months and then I’ll do it again, and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t have anybody to talk to and I’m not ready to talk to my parents yet. So I need help with stopping it and growing closer to God again.
Since you to me asking this question, it tells me that you believe that masturbation is a sin, correct?
What would you do if you had a problem with stealing, lying, anger, etc. what would you do about trying to stop any of those sins?
The first thing you would want to do is to pray to God about it and confess your sin because If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
God does not want you to lust, and it confirms that fact because you are asking how to stop.
Keep on praying and also find someone from your church that you can talk with about this. If you do not have a church visit NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
As far as not telling your parents, I think your parents understand, and it might be good to share it with either your mom or dad or both. Otherwise, make sure you get yourself an accountability partner if you do not want to tell your parents. NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
In the meantime, avoid all pornography, or anything that triggers you to want to masturbate.
Here are a couple of web pages that will be of help to you find some answers.
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you.
May God bless you and give you the wisdom and strength you need,
I need Pastor to talk to. How? No money 🙁
It appears to me that you do not have a church that you belong to. If that is the case, I encourage you to find a local Bible-believing church in your area. Here is a link that can help you do so. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
The pastors that I have talked to in my life have never charged me any money for their help, I have freely offered them money, but nobody had charged me, except one time when I went to a specific pastor/counselor, then there was a charge.
Keep in mind that you can always take your concerns to Jesus Christ in prayer. Here is a link that can help you in doing so.needencouragement.com/how-to-pray
Two more ideas for you:
- Call 800=633-3446
- Chat with someone NeedEncouragment.com/chat
I hope my suggestions will be helpful to you. I will pray that the opportunity to talk to a pastor or Christian friend opens up for you.
Sorry, Sir I reside in Indonesia
I have a church here but I can’t talk to any church in my town, as my situation might get worse
That’s why I look for an online solution, to begin with
I am a little confused by your comment.
You do not need to tell me what you have done or what someone has done to you.
In that case, I would try the following three suggestions that I have listed below.
I will pray that whatever you are going through right now, that you know that Jesus Christ knows about it and is there for you to lean on, ask God for wisdom and He will give it to you generously without finding fault.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety upon him for he cares for you.
I really need spiritual counseling regarding my relationship
Good Morning Wendy,
Your request is pretty vague, so I will try to answer it the best I can. Asking that question in the first place makes me think that you are convicted in your heart that something is not quite right. If that is true, that would be the Holy Spirit convicting you to do what is right. Remember that God is a gentleman who does not make us obey or love Him; rather he freely allows us to choose to obey and love Him on our own.
First, have you taken your relationship that you are referring to, to God in prayer? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
My next question would be, do you think your relationship honors and glorifies God, or grieves His heart?
I am pretty sure you have the answers to these questions, and I hope this has been helpful to you. If you need to chat with a Christian or talk on the phone with a Christian who could help you more, visit NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone or call 800-633-3446.
I pray that you seek to find the answer to your question if you have not already found it through this email.
God bless you,
I use to be a person that would retaliate when someone hurt me. I use to be evil. I’m not that person anymore. But people are still seeing me as that person. They are talking about me calling me names and trying to make me react like I use to. I prayed about it, but it’s still bothering me. But I’m trying to let go.
When I read your note to me, I asked myself, why are you spending time with people who do not appreciate you? I figured that this must be a situation at work or something. If that is the case, which I am not for sure, it is, but if it is, then you ought to let your supervisor be aware of this situation.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
If it is just old “friends,” it sounds like you need new friends. Do you attend a church? Here is a link that will help you find a good church in your area. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Since you are not that old person any longer, even though it hurts, do not let name-calling and words affect you. Remember that old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can not hurt me.” Try to keep that in mind and be sure to pray before you get yourself in the area of these ignorant people. Check out NeedEncouragement.com/love-your-enemies
You might want to offer them something small like a can of soda to break the ice and let them know you are not that same person any longer. Keep praying that you stay that new person that you are. Stay close to God. Keep in mind what it says in James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
When you prayed to God about this, what did you hear that God told you to do? Keep on doing what is right, and you will find this matter to pass by soon. Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
I need prayer in all areas of life I’m a young childless widow trying to begin again
I am very sorry to hear about your loss, and my first thought would be to point you to a group called “Greif Share” their website is www.GriefShare.org
I will also like to send you a couple of links that might be of help to you.
In the meantime, I would strongly advise you to be around people you know and care about you. Isolation is not a good thing, God has created us to be social creatures, and in time when you are done grieving your loss, the Lord might put someone in your life. I hope you have a church that you attend if not, check out this link…NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I pray that the grief and loneliness for the loss of your husband can be comforted by God and his loving grace, and I pray that you seek God each day and I am sure that you will start to see more hope in your life.
I hope my prayer and these links and words I have shared, will satisfy your need that you have at this time.needencouragement.com/how-to-pray
Feel free to call 800-633-3446.
God bless you!
I am really seeking help through the word to help me not be jealous I have never felt this way before. Every time my boyfriend is talking to another girl or makes them laugh I get this horrible jealousy feeling in me, and I don’t like it, and I want to be able to stop it, and I need help.
Thanks for sharing with me, I would say that you and your boyfriend need to talk. It is apparent that you are not secure in your relationship with him. He might not be out of line because it is reasonable to speak with others of the opposite sex. There must be some root that has come up to disturb you. My pastor’s wife Sue Sauer told me something very valuable, and I will tell you the same. When we have people or things in our life, we ought not hold on to them with white knuckles so tightly because all people and things are a gift from God that needs to be placed on an open palm because if God decides to take the person or thing from you, it will not be so devastating.
Do not get me wrong; I am not saying that you ought to allow your boyfriend to do whatever he pleases with other women, but you need to first examine your jealousy and figure out what is healthy or what is unhealthy about it. Then after that, plan to have a sit-down talk or go out to eat and discuss your feeling with him.
Here are a couple of links that I think might be of help to you:
I pray that you can differentiate the difference between normal jealousy compared to unhealthy jealousy. You can use this situation to see if you and your boyfriend are compatible before you go any further with your relationship because if you get married to him or anyone else if you have not worked out your jealousy issue, you are in for a lot of heartache and pain.
May God bless you and open your eyes to what you need to learn.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I need the encouragement to help who I am, I have sinned, and I know Jesus had died for our sins, but I want to stop sinning because I fear that I won’t be accepted into heaven, and I need encouragement because my boyfriend is leaving for basic training in October and I feel like I won’t be able to make it the 11 weeks that he is gone, I want to have god Jesus and my angel(s) by my side when that time comes so I can be helped, but with my sins will those prevent me from getting help from the lord or my angel(s)? Please help
I thank you for reaching out to us. We all need encouragement, and obviously, you see your need for it right now concerning your boyfriend. To answer your questions, the best I can is to point you to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. You mentioned that you know that Jesus had died your sins, but do you understand that he died for your sins. Do you really believe that? If so, then you have nothing to worry about, although if you are in doubt, you need to reflect on your relationship with God.
We will never stop sinning because we are all sinners, but your desire to stop sinning is great. NeedEncouragement.com/stop-sinning
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
As far as what you said about doubting you will make it the 11 weeks of your boyfriend’s basic training, it tells me you are very close to him and that you guys must have talked about getting married at some point. Keep in mind that since you know Jesus, then you know you will not be alone and that the time away if spent wisely will be beneficial to both of you in your personal growth.
My pastor’s wife told me something that has helped me that might help you; she said, “we need to keep everyone and everything in an open palm to the Lord.” That way, if the Lord in your case temporarily takes your boyfriend from you for 11 weeks, that it will not hurt so badly. Needencouragement.com/lonelinessProverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.During the time apart, you can focus on your family and friends that you might not have spent much time with lately because of your relationship with your boyfriend. Plan some things to do and people to do them with, write your boyfriend letters and talk with him if and when you can. You will be okay, actually more than okay, you will be stronger you will discover who you are and what your potential in life is. If you need someone to talk with you can call 800-633-3446 or go to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
I will be praying that you walk closer to the Lord and that he strengthens you and comforts you while your boyfriend is at basic training.
I am a 47-year-old Male with extreme hatred and bitterness in my heart for God. I so hate my life and the things that he has allowed that I curse him nearly every day. In fact, I don’t even believe he is real anymore, but I continue to hate him daily. I struggled for more than a decade to truly believe he is real and that he has a plan for me. I’ve quit believing only to turn back months or years later. I want things that he has made almost impossible for me to have, and this makes me angry at him only.
I am angry at myself, as well. I’ve tried to understand why anyone has to suffer negative events at all in this life, but I get it that some of us are just not meant to be happy. The “experts” say we should want nothing more than God, but that has been a struggle. I want a woman’s love. I wanted to be a father. I wanted to know what it’s like to love someone but this seems like something God doesn’t want me to have.
I used to think the devil was out to get me. I decided that it was God who was out to keep me from being happy. I decided long ago that I was not going to ever return to trying to live a Christian life since it seems like I am not going to get what I want. I am consumed with hatred for God and myself. Again, I don’t even think he is real anymore. I guess I just need something to blame for the things that have happened to me that were out of my control. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and I am not blaming God for the fallout from my own mistakes.
He has made it so that I cannot attract a woman. Since I’ll never be a father, the least he could have done was make it easier for me to attract a mate. Part of me wants to continue hating God, and part of me wants to work on eliminating the hatred and rage from my inner being. I’m too old to continue to let life’s negative events keep me down. I’ve tried to just accept what I cant control and forget about being happy and loved, but I can’t. It’s what I want.
I don’t believe Bible verses are going to help me, but I need someone to help me rid myself of these relationship-killing feelings. I keep to myself because it seems to be my lot in life. If you responded with something that I can use to at least begin a path to return to the living individual that I believe still lurks inside, I would be grateful. I don’t go to church anymore since I stopped believing. Thank you in advance for any help you can give me.
Thank you for contacting us, and I hope that my words will point you to a better place in your life. I understand that you have chosen not to believe in God any longer, and I am sorry to hear that your life has become full of extreme hatred and bitterness as you mentioned to me.
You asked me to help you, and since you say that you are so far from God at this point, When you did go to church and believed in God, I can only imagine that your life was better than it is now. Having hatred and bitterness is a frame of mind and heart that I am sure you want to be delivered from.
There is an expression that says, “If a person makes a mistake and continue to do the thing and expecting different results, that is a definition of insanity.” From your letter, I do not think by any means that you are insane, but you have been incredibly hurt by someone or some people in your life, and possible disappointments.
Since you do not believe in God or the Bible or that scripture can be of help to you, I guess I would suggest that you try to try something new, which is to go back to your old church or even a new church and sit down and talk to your pastor about these things you shared with me. That is what I would do if I were you!
I know it must be miserable to be so full of hatred and bitterness, but there is hope for you and all of us!
For me, my life was unmanageable for many years from about the time I was 18 to the time I was about 26 and what I did was to lean on the Lord and I started to trust God and learn what his plan for my life was beside drugs, alcohol, and trouble.
I guess your other option is to keep on doing what you are doing and expecting different results, but you know what will result in doing that. You say that you are not on good terms with God, In that case, I would at least look at this link because it might be able to help you. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god
You may also want to call 800-633-3446. Or you can chat with someone. https://needencouragement.com/chat/
In the meantime, since I do believe in God and the Bible and that scriptures can point us to what we need in life, in that case, I hope you do not mind if I pray for you! One thing I want you to do for me since you asked for my help, is for you to take 5 minutes to make a list of all the blessings in your life (good things that are happening, such as your health, a place to sleep at night, food to eat, people to talk with, possibly a job, or someone or some people who have helped you out in the past.)
After making your list, try to find the good in all people and situations that you are in. In other words, an attitude of gratitude. If you need any help with this list I am asking you to complete; then you can always check out for additional ideas https://needencouragement.com/gratitude
Cornell, you are in my prayers that God can bless you somehow so that you can understand and rekindle your relationship with God, or any way that God can make himself real to you again! I also pray for your extream hatred and bitterness, that God does a miracle in your life!
I can’t afford counseling. I can barely afford to eat. I’m working full time and taking care of my adult son and disabled family member. I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. My finances are depleted. I pray not to wake up every night so I don’t have to worry and work all day. I have plantar fascists in both feet, had a brain tumor removed that made me dead on my left side, no balance unless I’m very careful and so very tired of this entire situation that there seems to be no end. No help. No agencies will help cause they say that the age of the people I take care of is too young. They are 40 and 49. My son is a drug user, my cousin is in bad physical condition that he cannot get help for. No doctor around here wants to believe him.. I’m just tired of trying, tired of working , tired of living.
Why can’t I just go home to God ?
I really feel your pain, and I am sorry that your burden is heavy in this season of your life. The first obvious thing I would suggest to you is to take this ALL to God in prayer. Then pray that God can speak to you through someone like a pastor, best friend, relative, maybe even me. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
As far as you said that you can not afford to counsel, the real thing is, you can not afford not to have counseling. Not all counseling cost money, Julie, do you realize that prayer is a wonderful form of counseling? Here is a link to get to chat with a Christian online or talk to a Christian on the phone. Maybe there is a friend you could reach out to who knows you well and can give you some compassion and support. Trying to do things on your own, is a recipe for disaster. God has put people in our lives because we are relational people who need each other. NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
To address your question, “Why can’t I just go home to God?” The answer to that is that God still has a plan for your life! Thinking or wishing to not be here any longer will just make your burden that much heavier. I went through a divorce years ago, I took care of my 93-year-old mother for eight years, I was depressed, and I too asked God the same question you asked. He gave me the same answer I just gave you! Keep in mind that life is like a river, it may seem as though each day is the same, and that the water going by looks the same, but it is new each day, and in time, your situation will change too. Be patient and trust that God has a plan for your life, and seek after God to find out what He wants you to do? NeedEncouragement.com/depression
I would suggest that you get some help, I am not sure exactly what you need, but you need some assistance it is obvious! What about your church, the church is there to not only help you in spiritual matters but also in other matters in life, churches have resources to help, so I would give your church a call, if you do not have a church, check out this link.needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I pray that what I have shared with you both from my own experiences in my life, also what I have learned from God’s word and what he has revealed to me. Please reach out to the links that I provided and also this phone number 800-633-3446. I am sure that if you try what I have suggested, that your situation will improve, or at least you will be able to see things in a different light.
God bless you and keep you, may his face shine upon you and give you grace!
Julie’s Response Back
Thank you for the encouragement. I do have a friend who tries to encourage me but I really try not to burden her too much. She talks about the blessings of God and I see them in her life as well as what I might call the defeats as well but she doesn’t let them stop her. Unfortunately I’ve relied on friends before but some people aren’t equipped with the ability to see you succeed past what they actually want you to. It usually ends the friendship if I end up doing better than they want. Maybe it’s their flaw that they want to be needed but as I begin to stand on my own they generally don’t like that and become underhanded so I’m very reluctant to involve people.
I can barely make it through a work week now and have not found a church in my area that I feel comfortable in. I was in a strict Pentecostal Church for 10 years and I just have certain beliefs that not many have. The new music and technology leaves me feeling cold inside.
I’m tired. I’m just so tired. I miss my family who has passed on. None are left here that love me. I would never consider suicide but I wouldn’t fight death if it came …. I want and need some peace , love and understanding.
Everyone expects me to do and fix everything. I’m close to a nervous breakdown I feel….
I’ll try the links , thank you for writing back.
Hi, I just want to inquire about Christian counselor. I would be very grateful to have a believer to talk to.
It is wonderful that you are interested in learning about a Christian counselor. God’s Word will lead you to where you need to be!
I first would suggest that you pray about your request to God, he will lead you to what exactly you need and who you need to talk to.
You can check out NeedEncouagement.com/how-to-pray
Also, you can then call 800-633-3446 or you can contact NeedEncouragement.com/chat
I pray that you get the counseling that you need as soon as possible.
God bless you!
Do you counsel outside your location?
To directly answer your question, it is no we do not counsel from this location. I have pointed you to a couple of good resource links and phone number 800-633-3446.
Your pastor should be able to help you, but if you do not have a church of your own that you attend, check out this link.needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Follow the Lord!
I feel like nobody cares about what happened to me but GOD. I feel like I should of reported physical and mental abuse that was done to my sister by her husband I was only was fifteen at the time and my sister told me not to tell anyone! I saw the abuses with my own eyes and my brother in law hold a gun to my sister’s head, he always would beat the children. But my sister made me promise not to tell anyone about it. I was also molested by my brother from the age of ten to thirteen. I told my sister and she told me it not a big deal I have never told anyone else not even my husband of 37 years. I was also raped when I was 18 years old it was a boyfriend that we had dated for a year and work as missionaries. My brother in law would flirt with me and I’m told my sister and she said he didn’t mean anything about it. Last year he sent me a very sexual text and I showed it to my sister and she said he doesn’t mean anything about it, I also showed it to my husband and he said he sick. I told my husband that I forgave my brother in law but I didn’t want to be around him my husband told me you’re not a forgiving person which hurts. I feel guilty that I never stop my brother in law from.
Good Morning Lynda,
It is very honorable that you want to keep your promise to your sister, yet you need to weigh things out and also figure out if it was fair that your sister made you promise silence in the first place.
When people go to treatment, they are promised to have what they share with the counselor that everything is confidential. (kind of like you and your sister) BUT if the counselor knows that the person is at risk of physical harm, or suicide, then they are allowed to report it.
Having said this, I think it might be time to break the silence for the good of your sister, and also for your own sake concerning your depression and guilt feelings.
Think of it this way, you can keep things the way that they are and nothing will get better, or you can take a chance to speak up and healing will begin. I am not saying that it will go smoothly but as an outsider, it seems the best way to handle the situation you are in at this time to contact the authorities.
I hope this has helped you, I will be praying that God gives you wisdom and strength to do what is right and best! Remember that God is in control and His will be done.
If you want to speak with someone things, you can call 800-633-3446
God bless you and I am sure you will make the right choice!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
l need to find urgent Christian accommodation as l am being robbed and abused in an over 55 complex and this has now gone on for 15months and l want to move back to Sydney. I have been told by neighbors in the area it is the secretary, the abuse is making me sick and l no longer want to live there. Do you know of any type of lockable boarding houses near Rockdale? The abuse is horrific and it is like living in a war zone. at night there is a grey beam of light in my bedroom and l don’t know where it is coming from but have been advised to get out. I find it very hard to trust people and I just want to get out ASAP. I am not in paid employment as I injured my back and legs at work from a Nursing career. How much does the counseling cost? Deborah
I am sorry it took longer than usual to get back to you, I am not sure what to specifically tell you what to do, but I do now that you need to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
It is apparent that you are having some dark days, if you are being robbed, you would need to contact your local police department and report your loss to them.
It does sound likewise counsel you received leave your apartment to find a new place to live.
Do you have a church you attend? If not check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Trust that God has a better plan for you in your life, be sure to pray to discover exactly what His will for you is during this time in your life.
I pray that you find wisdom and peace as you to the Lord for your strength!
I am Hopeless after divorce and abuse by my husband, I need help and counseling
Without knowing more about what you are dealing with specifically, I can tell you that God can and will help you when you call out to Him in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray that would be my first suggestion.
Do you attend church regularly, if you do not have a church and would like to find one that could help you with fellowship and hearing God’s word spoken to you each week.
You would also benefit from doing some reading from your Bible, a good book to start in would be Proverbs, or 1 John, but actually, you would benefit from just about anywhere you started to read.
- Are you eating healthy? Are you getting enough sleep?
- Be sure you get some exercise, drink plenty of water, and reach out to close friends, do not isolate yourself.
- Are you feeling rejection still? NeedEncouragement.com/rejection
- Are you holding on to resentments? NeedEncouragement.com/forgiveness
You say that you need counseling, I would suggest finding a counselor by Monday because if you procrastinate you might not ever get the help you need. Keep praying for yourself and I will pray for you too. I pray that God gives you wisdom and peace of mind knowing that you are His child and He has a plan for your life.
Thanks. I need to speak to someone in NeedEncouragement as I don’t know what to do in the future.
Have you prayed about this since I responded to you earlier? I am a Christian and the advice I gave you is about as much as I can offer you at this time. Please find yourself a counselor and keep on praying.
I pray that you try to do what the Bible says in Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
You can call 800-633-3446 and talk to someone who can give you more help. Please re-read what I wrote to you and try to follow my suggestions.
God bless you,
I was praying and trusting God for a wife and God brought my wife into my life in 2012. Once we got to know each other, we realized that we had some genetic incompatibility that could affect our children should we go forward. We fasted and prayed to seek the Lord’s will and sought some Christian counsel to know if God was telling us to not marry or trust him. All the counsel we received was to go forward and trust God. I really fasted and prayed as well just to be sure I heard God clearly. I believed I heard God clearly at that time that he wanted us to move forward in faith and that all will be well. My wife had the same conviction too.
We had our first and second child, and they both have the genetic disease that we knew was a possibility. To make matters worse the chances of each child having the disease is one out of four children. The doctors said our case is unfortunate for both our children to have the sickness. The first three years were God as we were still holding on to faith that God will see us through and that his will, will be done. However, the last year and a half have really been a struggle as the weight of caring for them began to wear on us. My wife and I have found ourselves questioning the goodness of God and why he did not lead us from the troubles since we really wanted direction and open to his instruction when deciding to get married.
To make matters worse, we even found out our Children’s condition could have been avoided if we had sought the counsel of a genetic counselor and have children through IVF. I’ve always been a practical person even with my faith, and I felt like I did not apply wisdom in the biggest decision of my life (outside my salvation). My children get sick a lot as a result of the decision I made. There’s hardly a day I don’t think about the decision and how things could have been different if I had just spoken to a genetic counselor instead of a spiritual counselor. It’s really affected my ability to pray and trust God. I feel like God was absent and did not guide me when I really needed his direction the most. I feel guilty, and it has affected everything around me, and I’m just not sure how to move forward. I’m spending tonight writing this in the hospital because my daughter is not well and it goes back to the decision I made. It looks like my whole life revolves around just one bad decision, and my children will bear the results even after me. I believe God can heal them, but I don’t even have faith in God right now because of my trust issues. The year 2018 has been the worst year I can remember in every aspect and most especially in my spiritual walk. It’s like my relationship with God just disappeared. I’ve not moved of the things of God anymore because of the constant guilt/hurt and unanswered questions. I really cannot reconcile my reality with the promises I believe God made me.
Somehow I need to know how to break free from where I am.
I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling, yet I encourage you to stand firm knowing that God is in control. He will not give you and your family (and me) more than we can handle without a way out from under it. Pray to God for His guidance and His grace. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Try to make the best of what is going on, reach out to your church for support and the community for any assistance they too may offer. Remember what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.
I will pray that you and your wife can find peace in your situation and that God watches over your children. We all have regrets in our life, but if we are wise, we cast our sorrows on to the Lord and not pick them up again.
I know it might be difficult for you and your wife, but if you could especially now try to find things to be grateful for. NeedEncouragement.com/gratitude
No matter if God heals them or not, that ought not to affect your opinion of the Greatness of God. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, so please do not lose heart. Instead, pray each day and also fast pleading to God for healing. Remember that God is good all the time, all the time God is good. Again, I am sorry to hear that you all are struggling, this all must be very challenging for you.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself, your wife and kids. Find your support from your church or Christian counselor who could walk with you through your difficulties.
May God bless you, and keep you and your family safe and healthy.
I just got married and I’m pregnant. We have a blended family. All our children are under 10. We each have 2 young children. My husband and I have difficulty communicating and he said he won’t speak to me until I get a counselor because I don’t listen to him. Being ignored is deeply hurting me. So we really need help. How soon can we speak to someone? We are both saved/believers.
Maybe look at it that your husband wants to talk with you, but is afraid that it would not be productive without a counselor involved. If you can use this time to talk more about superficial things until you get yourselves a counselor, that might be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes taking a temporary rest from deep involved conversations that so often turn into arguments, could be just what you guys need.
Keep in mind that both I and your husband are men and we do not understand what you must be going through being pregnant and being a woman. Trust that your husband loves you and is trying to do his very best. I do not know the whole story, but it sounds like your husband loves you and wants the best for both of you and your children!
Please try to continue to pray about this and pray for your husband to find a counselor for the two of you real soon. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
You might not like what he is proposing, but if you step back and think, maybe he has a great idea. Talk about other things, go to a movie, take a walk, play a board game, laugh and enjoy life. Life is too short to take so seriously.
You can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a trained Christian counselor that might help shed some more light on your situation.
May God bless you while you go through this struggle, I will pray for peace, wisdom, trust, and love between the two of you!
Response Back To Me
Thank you so much. Yes, I completely agree with you. I would be open to speaking about superficial things, he completely ignores me though. Like no speaking at all as if I don’t exist. It hurts me so deeply and I feel so alone here already because I just moved from Canada. I do believe all you said is true, I just wish he wouldn’t ignore me like that. I’m really hurting about it. I feel to just leave for a few days rather walk around the apartment and be ignored. It scares me too because it’s so painful. I’m really praying and asking God to help me and be with me in this tough time. I really need the Lord to do that for me.
Do not lose heart, trust that God put you together with your husband and God will be faithful to complete what He has started. Have faith that things will be okay, and get yourself a counselor asap. Don’t forget to lean on your other friends in the meantime. I pray that you get a counselor by no later than Monday okay? Please make this a top priority!
Hello Bill,Thank you so very much for ministering to me. Is there any way possible you can talk to the two of us Monday morning or afternoon? This is so important, for us and of course our very young children. My number is
No, I am very sorry we do not do that, you will need to get yourself a counselor as I suggested.
Or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a trained Christian counselor that might help shed some more light on your situation until you get a real counselor as I suggested.
God bless you,
My name is Carlos, I need HELP coping and knowing how to deal with my current situation with my wife. She seems to be in love with a guy who used to be my friend (even though she says he’s just a friend), I treated him like a son, lived with us for a few months but I know they’ve been having an inappropriate relationship for more than a year. They both betrayed my trust and even though we’ve been separated for four months (living in the same house but sleeping in different rooms) things have not changed and as a matter of fact, she has changed even more. She is still keeping contact with this fella even after I asked him to leave my house and stay away from my wife; apparently, she looked for him and he hasn’t been able to resist the temptation. I’m pretty sure they have been intimate (especially since she goes out and sometimes doesn’t come back home until the following day). She says she likes her freedom especially now that she works. I’m pretty sure she has been seeing this guy who gives her all kinds of gifts and money. She has become very ambitious. The worst part is that we have two teenage boys and a five-year-old daughter who is suffering a lot from all this ordeal. I don’t know what to do, I’ve prayed and have been lovely with her and she makes me feel at times that things could be worked out but since I feel she is probably in love with this other guy she says she is not ready to recommit to God or me. I asked her to cut all ties with this guy but she says she won’t because he’s a really good friend. She was born in the faith but is mad at God for many reasons and does not want to know anything about God. I feel trapped and don’t know what to do.
I am very sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. Without knowing all the important details, I am thinking that a counselor is very appropriate at this time.
You are only speculating with a couple of things you mentioned, yet I am understanding your thinking. I would feel jealous too. But what can you do to make things better?
- The first thing I would suggest would to pray about this situation and pray with her too. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- The second thing is to physically un-divide your house and get back in the same bedroom with your wife asap (today if possible). Four months is too long to withdraw from one another. You are setting the stage to get either a separation or divorce if you do not do something soon, maybe make yourself more available to your wife so that this other guy would not get so much of your wife’s attention. Have you been treating your wife in a loving respectful manner?
- The third thing I would suggest would be to get a counselor asap preferably a Christian counselor. Set this up Monday and do not procrastinate doing this.
Feel free to call 800-633-3446 and talk to a trained Christian counselor. You got to do all you can to keep your marriage together, you have to fight for your marriage, otherwise, the devil will sneak in and break apart the two of you. It will take some work, but it is much less work than dealing with a divorce, which I went through in 2007. I will be praying for you and you pray too!
Since you wrote into me, I have faith that you can handle this situation, otherwise, why would you even ask for help in the first place. I am telling you that you just need God to show you what to do, how to do it, and believe that He can reconnect your marriage and family.
All you can do is to do all you can do, part of this will be determined by your wife. (when was the last time you bought her flowers or took her out to eat or anything else that she would like to do? That might be a helpful start to show her in a material type way that you love her.
God bless you and keep close to God and stay calm!
Check out these links, they might be helpful to you.
Hi, I’m a Christian, I deal with this ongoing anxiety and some depression. My pastor recommended me finding a coach or counselor for my downtimes. I had a rough childhood, just dealing with anger from my past. I would like to be on your email list, please. I took down your number to maybe call sometime.
I can understand your situation with depression. The first thing I would suggest you do would be to pray about this depression you are experiencing. Check out NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Maybe there is a reason for depression such as situational depression. Sometimes a loss of a family member, friend, divorce, loss of a job, broken relationship, etc. can be a trigger to experience depression. I suffered from terrible depression 2 major times in my life. All I can say, that to be on anti-depressants for a few months or so, is not a bad idea. I was on Cymbalta for a number of months and it seemed to take the weight off me relatively quickly, so I could start to function again. Be sure to contact your doctor.
I would also suggest visiting NeedEncouragement.com/depressionand also NeedEncouragement.com/anxiety
In the meantime, I will pray for you that you keep busy and try to exercise at the very least by walking daily and keeping in touch with your friends and family as much as possible. Do not isolate yourself, that is not a good idea at all. Try to stay away from sugar, alcohol, and be sure to get on a regular sleeping schedule such as 10:00 or 11:00 pm depending on your schedule.
Also, feel free to call 800-633-3446 any time 24/7.
My last suggestion would be to try to encourage someone else by doing something out of your way for someone else, such as an elderly person, disabled person, or anyone. This will not only help them, but it will also help you to get out of your problem (which in fact is is a problem) but this way you will be focusing on someone else besides yourself. I did that years ago and it did help me a lot. I even started this website because of my pastor and his wife suggesting that I encourage others with the encouragement that I received from Christ during all the difficulties I experienced in my life.
You will be okay Sherry, it may take a little while but you will see the Son Shine again soon. (not a typo)
May God bless you,
Bill Greguska NeedEncouragement.com
I have been addicted to porn and masturbation am a Christian hope to find one of your free counseling or one of your Christian friend who is going to be dedicated to helping me I really want to change cos I love God but porn has been holding me back sometimes I feel like I will never get free I hope you help me
I am very glad you contacted us, just to let you know that pornography is an addiction besides being a sin. The good thing is that you want help with this issue. Just to let you know that there is help for all sins, God does not look at one sin bigger than another, all sin is sin!
The first thing I would suggest to you is to pray about it. Here is a link to help you pray if you do not pray regularly.
After you have prayed about it, then I would like you to go to:
Needencouragement.com/pornography and also
There are many resources on the two pornography pages. In the meantime, I will be praying for you and that God hears your prayers that you want to live a pure life even though you are struggling with pornography right now. I pray that the chains that got your heart will be broken and you can walk free of this ugly sin and addiction.
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to a Christian counselor 24/7.
Thanks for your help am in Ghana I feel like not having someone helping me is also play a role on why am addicted I quit for a month or two pray hard read my bible and the next I know am back to this sin sometimes I feel like quitting but I know quitting don’t help me anyway if I could get a mentor to help me I will be very happy. And you might say why not find one here in Ghana is really difficult cause I tried most and you don’t see the dedication is like you are burdening them and the moment you fall you feel worse .am going to try out the pages but personal help will be beneficial.
Is the counseling on this website really free?
Good morning Robert,
Yes, you can get free online counseling by going to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone on the phone.
It would recommend that it is important to find a good Bible-believing church to attend to get regular fellowship and teaching from God’s word.
I hope these suggestions help you out. I will pray that whatever you do, it brings you closer to Jesus Christ.
May God bless you and direct your steps!
I just want to chat with someone about some family issue and marriage issues, I am an older adult Christian, I am having problems with depression too.
I see that you would like to chat with someone about family and marriage issues, etc.
You can do so by following this link to be able to chat with someone who cares. NeedEncouragement.com/chat
I pray that before you chat, I encourage you to take your concerns to the Lord first if you have not already done so. Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Have a blessed day!
I want to restore my faith in the Lord. I have led myself astray and I know he still loves me and I’m ready to return to my Heavenly Father before it’s too late. He’s been calling me and I have ignored him for too long I am living testimony of his love for us. I’m reaching out to someone to help me.
You do not need to reach out to someone to help you necessarily, reach out to God directly!
You would benefit from getting back to your church and also talk with your pastor. If you left your church for some reason, check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
If you need to talk with someone online, you can go to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone. If you rather talk to someone on the phone, you can call 800-633-3446.
It seems to me that you have an idea of what you need to do, but you need some encouragement to do it. NeedEncouragement.com/get-right-with-god
I pray that you do not put off this vital thing to do because you are right when you say that it might be too late if you keep putting it off.
May God bless you and welcome you back with open arms that I know He will.
I always believed I was a Christian but why still struggling with addictions and so many habitual/besetting sins?? Idk. Help!! (Am I really a Christian, why so hard to overcome??) I feel so stuck in the muck.
It is good to hear from you, and it is also good to hear that your sin is bothering you, otherwise if it were not bothering you, you would have even a bigger problem with a hardened heart.
We all struggle with sin, you are not the only one, but it is good that it is upsetting to you, it ought to be, my sin upsets me too! Then I confess it to God and God will be faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Do not continue to sin because God is full of mercy and grace, but rather turn from your sins with God’s help to honor the one who created you and loves you dearly!
The first thing I would suggest would be to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray and include God in on these battles you are dealing with!
You mentioned sins (plural), may I suggest trying to tackle one at a time (not that you won’t try to deal with the other one (s) but try to get one under control first.
Do you have a church you attend or a pastor that you know? NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church if you do, contact them and get yourself back into church and fellowship with others who are believers who struggle with their sin who themselves can encourage you and give you some accountability.
If you do not have a Bible, then visit NeedEncouragement.com/free-bible to get a free Bible for yourself. I would suggest reading 1 John 1-5 which are just a few pages but packed with a lot of wisdom and encouragement.
If you commit your sin (s) in the same place with the same people, try to avoid these places and people. Keep yourself in prayer each morning to start your day, and pray throughout your day too!
Feel free to call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who cares and would like to help you!
I will pray for you Stacey that this apparent stronghold you have on you will be cast far from you in Jesus Name!
Been in church and praying with others even trying accountability but not doing well still, I need to be obedient and get out of my own ways! Thank u soo much! Need lots of prayers.
There is no better time than now to start. Do the best you can! With Christ, all things are possible. It sure beats not even trying…Right?
Avoid the temptations, avoid the places that you fall into temptation, replace the old habits with new ones. Plus get out and get some exercise, it works great on stress and temptations, and remember to hold on to God!
I am praying for you!
It’s been a long time falling into temptation over and over! Too many strongholds.Your website is so wonderful, thank you!Stacey
I am glad you have an accountability partner, that will be helpful for you. Needencouragement.com/accountability-partner/
I know you know this, but just a reminder that you do not need actually to be in church to pray, Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
I am praying that you will grow stronger in your walk with the Lord.
How long did it take you to get to the place you are right now? Keep in mind that it might take some time to get used to your new lifestyle. Do not give up!!!!!!!
Help regarding anxiety and moving. I would like to get some advice to help me move forward with my life and live a healthy life. Prefer a phone call after 3 pm central. XXX-XXX-XXXX Thank you
Hi Jane, I am sorry that I do not do phone counseling, my ministry is a website based ministry, but if you need someone to chat with you can go to NeedEncouragement.com/chat, or you can call 800-633-3446 any time.
I can give you some great advice by reminding you to pray to God for whatever it is that you are doing though. I will pray that you can be organized so that your move will not be too stressful.
May God bless you,
Backslid badly, sinned willfully. I ruined my testimony and backslid for three years. I have returned to Jesus, but I know those years are gone and that I could have used them for God’s Glory.
What can I do? I feel useless, ashamed, and I never thought I would have done this when I first got saved.
I read the parable of the soils the seeds fell into. At times I am fearful. There are many warnings in God’s Word about sinning.
Could you help me, please?
I can understand your frustration and your feeling of being ashamed. But ask yourself, are those feelings coming from God or Satan? My advice to you is to humble yourself and get back on the right road. God loves you more than you could imagine. Yes, sin is wrong, but ask yourself why did Jesus come to the world, live, die, resurrect from the dead? The answer is because we are all sinners!!!
God does not require us to get rid of all our sins before we can have a relationship with Him, He wants us to come as we are. (we all have fallen short of the glory of God)
I thank God that He opened my eyes to my sin back in June of 1986 when I used drugs and alcohol for the last time. The road was not easy, but with God, He made it possible. God will do the same for you no matter what your choice of sin was in the recent past.
I pray right now for you Kathy that you seek out a Christian woman who can help you walk through this time in your life. Get hooked back up with your church, and keep your eyes on the Lord, for our sin may be pleasurable for a time, but it leads to pain and death.
Here are a couple of pages you can check out to hopefully help you.
God Bless you!
Can I marry someone who is not willing to go to church, and uses bad language?
You ask a very important, and excellent question. I am assuming that you are a Christian.
If you were my daughter I would write this letter as if I were sending it to her… it says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Also I would tell you that if your boyfriend is not willing to go to church, and that is a priority of yours, (but if he shows some sincere interest and also a willingness to try to stop using bad language), you could continue to date him for a period of time (maybe a month or two to see if he is showing any effort to clean up his language), and if he still does not show any interest in cleaning up his speech or his life, then I would suggest that you seriously “consider” cutting him loose. There are more factors involved such as how long you have been dating, do the two of you have any children together, how often he uses bad language and if he feels any remorse when he does, (besides the fact that it bothers you).
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
You have not shared a lot of information, but if you are sure that you love him, and are even mentioning marriage, then it would be wise to talk to someone from your church and describe your situation in detail. You are aware that we are all sinners, each with our own flavor of sin. Your boyfriend needs to sit down with you and someone else who can work as a mediator and witness to see how you ought to proceed depending on his attitude? Take a more precise look at if you want to be yoked with a non-believer for the rest of your life, or until he would divorce you possibly. I know what I am saying is harsh to you, but believe me, it is better to question now, rather than get in a divorce like I did being unevenly yoked.
Another way of looking at your question, is what you would tell your very best friend if she said to you that she wanted to marry a guy that used bad language and was not willing to go to church?
Here is a video that will give you some insights about swearing being a sin or not?
A couple of questions for you to consider:
1. Have you told him how you felt about his bad language?
Colossians 3:8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
2. Have you told him that it bothers you that he does not want to go to church?
Hebrews 10:25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
3. Does your boyfriend believe in God? If he does, ask him what the Bible says about bad language?
Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
4. I will be praying that God gives you the wisdom to know how to handle the situation that you are in. I will also pray that you pray about this situation too.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
May God bless you and keep you strong!
I have been with my wife ten years, and we’re both Christians I’m a little stronger then she is she just started to listen to everything God wants her to do, but we’ve been having problems in our marriage.
I want a divorce I know God doesn’t like that but I’m starting not to care and getting discouraged with that because I’m unhappy I need counseling we need counseling can you help I don’t want to get a divorce, but I don’t want to because that’s what God does not want can you help.
I will speak from my own experience and also what the Bible says.
First of all, I feel that you need to come to God to pray about this situation… Not to pray about how to get a divorce, but pray on how you can strengthen your marriage and get it back on track?
If your spouse cheated on you or abandoned you, forgiveness covers a multitude of sins, God provides an escape via a divorce, but at the same time, God hates divorce, so it is undeniable that you need to do whatever you can do to keep the two of you together. That could be through prayer, getting marital counseling, If your spouse has physically or emotionally hurt you, you can temporarily get out of the situation and seek help from a pastor, marriage counselor,
My wife moved out (to find herself) and said she would need 4 months, I gave her the time and space, we did attend marital counseling, yet it seemed that she had her mind already made up, since I was admitting my responsibilities for the failure of the marriage, yet she could not overlook or forgive me. I did take the narrow gate or the high road sort of speak, and it was excruciating. Then 11 years later, my conscience is clear and God allowed me to move on with my life in ministry and in general.
My suggestions to you are to:
- Pray to God for wisdom and strength to keep the marriage alive.
- Search your heart and figure out where you have gone wrong and become willing to change.
- To humble yourself to your spouse, admitting your part of the problems.
- Seek marital counseling, pastoral counseling.
- Try to find things you can agree upon with your spouse and focus on them.
- Try to address the problems with your spouse and find resolutions to them
I hope my suggestions have been somewhat of a help to you?
You can also call 800-633-3446
I pray that you seek wise counsel and that your heart can soften towards your spouse, and that your marriage will be revised!!!
May God bless you and strengthen your marriage situation. Think back to when you first got married and remembered what drew you to your spouse?
I’m interested in email counseling. Do you do that and how does it work? What are the rates?
I would encourage you to visit NeedEncouragement.com/chat and chat with someone online that can be of help to you.
There is no cost for the chat and you may also be interested in talking to someone on the phone by calling 800-633-3446.
I hope and pray that you get the counseling that you are searching for, but remember that the best counsel you can get is right from God in prayer and through his word in the Bible.
I can send you an encouraging email approximately once a week that would help point you to some more godly insights.
I am contemplating divorce, and I was wondering if you have a live chat on this site? Thank you.
I am sorry to hear that you are having doubts about your marriage. I strongly discourage you from contemplating getting a divorce not even one more day. God hates divorce and divorce is not a pretty thing, it is like ripping one flesh into two, very painful for both spouses and all the family and friends involved. I fear God more than I fear man (or my ex) Having said this, what I encourage you to consider doing the following.
- Pray and ask God what He wants you to do? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Look at your part in your wishing to contemplate divorce, reflect on your role in it, rather than only your husbands part.
- Find someone like your pastor to talk with the two of you.
- Seek marital counseling.
- Do all you can do to fill your marriage vows.
- You can get a divorce under the grounds of abandonment or unfaithfulness, but that is not something that you have to do.
- If he has been physically or emotionally abusing you, a temporary separation is better than a divorce.
Here is a chat site that might be helpful to you, NeedEncouragement.com/chat
Here is a phone number that might be helpful to you as well. 800-633-3446
Before you continue to contemplate divorce, check out ways to improve the marriage you have.
My wife divorced me, and I did all I could do to keep the marriage alive, yet she did not want to keep on trying. She moved out in attempts to “Find Herself” and then after two years of separation she divorced me. You may think that divorce will solve your problem, yet it will also open the door for many, many more problems.
I warn you to do all that is in your power to keep the marriage alive. I will pray that God gives you wisdom and the strength to do what is right, not what is easy and convenient. Nobody wins in a divorce except the lawyers!
I need Godly women in my life. I am 52-year-old women. I’m friendly, happy, joyful, most of all love the Lord Jesus. I need to understand why Christian women don’t make time to be friends with me.
I am sorry, but I do not understand your question?
Are you looking for a godly woman who can help you in your Christian walk of faith?
You wonder why Christian women don’t make time to be friends with you, Allow me to ask you that same question.
Are you making time to be friends with other Christian women?
There is a page on my website calledneedencouragement.com/be-a-good-friend Check it out and the rest of the site to see what you can find?
I pray that you keep in mind the saying, to have good friends, you need to be friendly yourself.
I hope what I mentioned helps you!
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk with a trained Christian counselor.
I have a lot of problems in my life. The status of my relationship is affecting me the most.
I understand that you are having some relationship problems, although that is a very broad term.
The best thing I can suggest that you do is to pray about it since you did not give me any real information to help you more. Prayer can be the best tool that you have to work with. Check out this page NeedEncouragment.com/how-to-pray
I suggest that you call this phone number to talk with someone in more detail. 800-633-3446
Shirley, I pray that the Lord will comfort you in your troubles and give you the wisdom to know what to do.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
God bless you,
My husband strongly believes in the husband is the head of the household and the woman should be submissive. OK, it says those words in the Bible. Got it. But it goes God, husband, wife, and family. We don’t have children together it’s just us. But to what extent should a wife be submissive? If her husband is backslid and back to his old ways of drinking daily and taking drugs of all sorts, am I to be still submissive to what he wants even though he is not sober-minded.
Should I take the abusive words and actions? I mean I shouldn’t have to live in fear every day not knowing the man he’s going to be from knew minute to the next. I married him knowing about some of the issues. He got saved and had become the man I wanted to marry. Six months later we got married. Now we had been in a relationship for six years at the time. My family wonders why I stay and why I married him. I feel God has put me here for a reason. I have left many times and many times have been drawn back to him. I feel God has out me in his life to save him. Knowing the person, he has become since he was saved. He is 80 percent a different man for the better than the man I met.
The Bible says for a wife to be submissive to her husband but it also states that a husband should love his wife as God loves the church.
Why does he feel that this means for me to bow down to him and allow him to raise his hand to me or to take all the harsh words he says daily to me.
I am glad that your husband has improved 80% since you met him, praise God for that! I also thank God that you are not like so many others who when their marriage gets difficult, they bail out, like what happened in my marriage. You are only partially correct when you say that your husband is the head of the household. I highlighted some scriptures below that I would bet have not been discussed. It sounds to me that you need a pastor or counselor to help you walk through your problems. I would suggest doing that as soon as possible. It does not sound like your marriage is in crisis, but if you continue not to address your issues, things might get worse sorry to say.
Husbands ought to love their wives like Christ loved the church. (what did Christ do for the church?) He gave his life up for the church by dying on the cross.
- You, the wife represents the church
- Your husband represents Christ
Here are a couple of pages to our website that can give you some more ideas. I will be praying that you can try to help your husband even more than you have been doing and that he can understand that there is more to being a man than to raise his hand to you and speak harsh words to you daily. (would Christ do that?) But like I said, he is not going to change just because you want him to, but all you can do is to pray for him (have you been doing that?) and respect him unless he is doing or saying something against God’s will. That is why I said that a pastor or counselor would be wonderful to mediate between the two of you to keep your marriage alive and to strengthen it.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
On the other hand, read this scripture:
Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
I am sure that you both have a part to play in your marriage situation. Before you think more about what your husband is doing wrong, think and pray about how to figure out what you are doing wrong, even if it is only a couple things, start working on the log in your eye before you attempt to take the speck of sawdust from your husband’s eye.
Keep in mind that men need respect and women need love. There are ways to disagree with your husband while showing respect to him, you do not have to be a doormat for him to walk all over you.
Have you told him recently how he can show more love to you? Try asking him, but do not expect that he will change his ways overnight, but at least you planted the seed in his mind and heart to know what would please you.
- I pray that you will pray about your marriage and pray for your husband.
- I pray that you seek to talk to a pastor or counselor.
- I pray that you continue to respect your husband (but if he mistreats you by raising his hand to your or swearing at you, do not allow that to continue!
- I pray that your marriage gets stronger and that God works in the hearts of both you and your husband.
- I pray that you might introduce some romance with your husband.
May God bless you and give you the wisdom to make your marriage better!
Hello, my name is Peter John Duos. About myself, I am from South Sudan my family and I are Christians. We moved to America in 1999 so we’ve been here for quite a very long time now. You are probably wondering why we are you living in America. I was very young when the war happened in my country. Back then my country was just one big country it was called Sudan and in the North part of Sudan was where all the Arabs lived and the South was my family and many Christians lived, and so what happened was the Arabs they came on horseback to my village and killed so many Christians, even young infants they show no mercy. But, luckily with God’s amazing grace he has shielded and protected my family and lead us to safety. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters I am the 4th oldest. Our oldest brother is still in South Sudan when this conflict started he was in a different area and my family and I, we were all together so we all ran away leaving him behind, but he is safe we still get in contact with him over the phone sometimes and sometimes the signals or connection is bad because he lives in the village. I am asking for prayers and would also wonder if there was a way you can help me so I have a friend from the Philippines who is also a Christian And she has about 12-13 people under her care which she mentors and shares Gods words with and so we got to know each other pretty well and she told me that they are in need of bibles for her and youth groups and I told her that I would pray and see if I can help her because I don’t have a job I ended up losing my job because I lost my car so things have been rough for me but I know that God is still working out something for me. My friend is needing about 13 bibles and was wondering if you could help me out and send me free bibles and I will make sure to pay you some way once I get a job and back on my feet. I am really looking forward to hearing from you soon. My email is
Thank you, sir, I really appreciate it. God bless!!
Hi Peter,You can ask for a free bible but it is one per address and it needs to be in the USA. Just go to the link NeedEncouragement.com/free-bible and follow the links to get one free bible per household.
I hope this is helpful to you. May God richly bless you,
I would like an accountability partner
It is wonderful that you want an accountability partner. You can visit NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
Or if you want to ask someone you know if you have a Christian friend who would be willing to do this with you, that would be great, if you do not know one, then you can check out some help from your church, if you do not have a church, then check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church this will help you find a good Bible-believing church in your area.
I pray that you will follow through with what I believe that God put on your heart.
God bless you and keep and share your faith!!!
I am homeless and hurting bad. No one cares about me and I have no money and no home and no support and I am hurting bad and I need constant encouragement and attention that I never got growing up and I am all alone and my needs are not met and I have no one to lean on and support I need.
The first thing I suggest is that you pray and that you pray often. If you are new to praying, Check out NeedEcouragement.com/how-to-pray
Depending on which city you are living in, you would need to google homeless shelters. You can also check our NeedEncouragement.com/phone-helplines
It sounds like you have burned some bridges in your life, but remember that the Lord will stick with you and help you walk through this situation as He has done in your past.
Do you attend a church? If not, check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Thank you for sharing with me, I will be praying that you can find some light in this darker time of life that you are experiencing right now. I also pray that you keep your eyes on the Lord and that you cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5-7
I am 41 years old and in a difficult situation. I raised my two daughters alone after my divorce 18 years ago. My girls are now 20 and 18 years old and in college. I put myself through college when they were young. I never felt that I had the time to date. I worked two jobs much of the time and went to school. I was also very devoted to my girls. I decided to start dating this past summer. I allowed things to get carried away and became intimate too soon. Despite using protection, I became pregnant. I couldn’t go through with an abortion, and he disappeared when I told him I couldn’t terminate. I feel very ashamed and embarrassed by my situation. I also feel scared and lonely. I raised my daughters to not engage in premarital sex. My oldest daughter is very disappointed in me. I am now 18 weeks along. I’m so overwhelmed by the thought of starting over & facing others. I have so many thoughts and feelings. I want God to help me, but feel like I’m being punished.
You are wise to reach out for help, it is good to get wise counsel, you did not mean to get pregnant, and God knows that too even better than I can even imagine. My first suggestion is to pray before anything else that you do. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray Yes, you made a mistake (sin), yet you sounded very remorseful and scared what to do next, God knows your heart so make sure you guard it. Also keep in mind that if the Lord is for you, who can be against you?
If I were in your situation, I would humbly go to your daughters and tell them how you feel. Your daughter, as you said is disappointed in you, but the news was a shock to her as well as it was for you. I am sure she loves you and will come to accept reality. It would be wise to tell them what you did was wrong, but the baby inside of you is not wrong. Your baby is a gift from God; you do have two options, one would be to have the baby and look for family and friends that would be willing to help support you. That is why I suggested praying first before you do anything!
The second option would be to carry the baby full term and then adopt the baby to a good couple. These are the only two really good options that you have. You do NOT have to decide today, but take a few days, or even weeks to make a assess things and make a plan to raise the baby, or adopt the baby to a good couple.
You will have to weigh out the pro’s and con’s about keeping the baby, and raise the baby yourself with help or to give the baby away, but those are the ONLY 2 good choices like I mentioned and you agree!
Also, you might also want to contact a counselor and possibly someone in the field of adoption — a counselor or a wise Chrisitan girlfriend that you trust. You may also take time to read 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Take care of this with God, and you will be able to walk upright no matter what you choose to do.
I too have made my share of mistakes (sins) also, but that is why God is such a great God that He can forgive us when we come to him. My daughter was born out of wedlock, yet God is faithful and just and has allowed me to know her since she was 12 and now is going to be 35. I say this because whatever happens, remember to do God’s will which will sometimes be the narrow road but it is always worth it!
How about your church and pastor if you have one? If not, maybe this is the time to find a church for support and fellowship not to mention hearing God’s word regularly. NeedEncouragment.com/find-a-good-church
You can call 800-633-3446 and talk to a trained Christian counselor or chat online with a Christian that you can find at NeedEncouragement.com/chat
I will pray that you do some or all of the things I suggested, keeping in mind that God is with you and will never leave you. I also pray for the wisdom and strength that you will be needing. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!
Catherine, you will be fine, keep your eyes on the Lord.
Thank you for your encouraging words. I will follow your suggestions. Is a baby still a gift from God when its conceived out of sin?
You are 100% correct!!!
My daughter was born out of wedlock (in her mother and my sin), but she is a precious gift from God who I love dearly!!! My relationship with her has not been traditional, but Sherry sure has been a blessing in my life.
Upon thinking more about your situation, on second thought, I think you ought to plan to keep your baby yourself (if you have the means to care for the baby) but if that is not possible, then your only Godly choice is adoption.
You are only 41, and I am sure you would be a wonderful mother again with much experience and love. I am sure you could round up some people to help raise your child. You may need to get government support, but the lions share of all support will be coming from God.
Take time to think and even write pros and cons on paper. I have faith that whatever you do will be the right thing for you and your baby.
Keep praying, and God will reveal to you what you ought to do with your baby. I am sure God will make it clear to you either way!
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Call out to God because He hears all our prayers!
I am leaning towards keeping him. I did meet with an adoption agency a couple of months ago. They were wonderful people, and it was a Christian based agency. Despite the turmoil, I felt and feel…that option doesn’t feel right for me. I put myself through college when my daughters were young…after my divorce. I am a public school teacher. I could financially make everything work except for daycare. I’d have to file for child support to cover daycare. I wouldn’t qualify for any government assistance. Although, my daughters are disappointed they both offered to help me. We are close as it was just us 3 for 20 years. They are in college nearby. I am already feeling better after talking it out with you. This baby is a boy, and the blood test came back as him unlikely to have down syndrome or any other condition. The only test that is 100% is amniocentesis, but I chose not to do it due to the risks of harm to the baby. The results of the test wouldn’t affect any of my decisions anyway. Again, thank you for your time. You’ve been very helpful. I go to a very large church. I am going to look for a smaller one.
Please put me on your email list. Thanks
I will be glad to add you to my mailing list. Please feel free to let your friends on facebook and your email list know about us. God bless you in all you do and have a Happy Thanksgiving full of gratitude!
This is going to be a long story, but I need advice and a reason to keep going. So growing up my mom brought me up Christian I used to have so much faith and love. I guess you can say I was an innocent girl. Fast forward to college, around this time my older cousin opened up a dental office, and I was told that I had to be a dental hygienist. I didn’t wanna be one I wanted to be a vet, but my extended family always told me I couldn’t be one that I wasn’t smart enough or financially able. They said I had to be a dental hygienist or they would kick me out of my house and never talk to me again. Mind you, this wasn’t my mom talking. My mom is deaf and has other health problems, so she was always out of the loop. I was always told growing up that I couldn’t tell her certain things so that she wouldn’t worry. My mom is an innocent soul also, and my extended family helped us out financially so I think because of that they felt like they could control me. Throughout this time I was made to volunteer at the office all day, and every day throughout the week except Sunday with no pay. It happened for about a year. Well during this time my life started getting dark. I felt so bullied sometimes by the things they would tell me, for example, that I would have been a loser if it wasn’t for them or that I was a bad person for having friends. Mind you, one time A drunk driver hit me, and they said it was my fault cause I shouldn’t have gone to the movies with my friends. I started feeling hopeless about my future losing faith cause I couldn’t understand why God allowed this. So fast forward, I got into hygiene school, and throughout that time even though I hated that profession, I was happy cause I was away from my family. I didn’t have to go to the dental office every day anymore and here there remarks. Well, I ended up meeting someone. He worked at a bus station, and I knew my family wouldn’t have approved, so I kept it a secret. After I graduated from hygiene school they started finding out about him, and I wanted to tell my mom, but I was afraid. Afraid cause my whole life I was told to never make her worry. So I kept it to myself and one day they came to talk to me and said you leave this man, or we’re done with you. I was hurt, but I knew that the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t have him in my life. I knew it would end if I didn’t have my mom though. So I broke it off with him. Afterward, they told me that because of what I did which was going to school and finding someone without their permission especially someone they didn’t approve of. That I was on lockdown, no phone, no bank account, no car and that I would be volunteering at the dental office again no pay until they trusted me again. Mind you, I was 22 at the time. I didn’t wanna live like that anymore. The ultimatum was to choose that or never go near the family again. It killed me cause I knew I might lose my mom but I left that situation, and they haven’t talked to me since. When I left, I had it in my mind that I would go home and tell my mom what was going on but they told me that if I went home and talked to her that they would call the cops on me. I was so afraid of them that I believed them and didn’t go home. My mom found out the hard way, and I regret it ever since. Fast forward to now, I’m with that guy, and my mom talks to me but my family turned my sister against me and everyone else. And my mom hates him cause I’m sure they told her that I left cause I wanted to be with him. She doesn’t believe me when I say all the things they did. But that’s my fault for not talking to her beforehand. Well, I thought I’d be happy out of that situation, but sometimes I feel more and more lost every day, I’m trying to regain my faith, but it’s so hard cause I still don’t understand why I was put in this situation. My boyfriend has anger issues and other personal problems that I didn’t know about until I got kicked out. And now I feel like no matter what I chose it was gonna suck. Sometimes I feel so unhappy and that my life is a mess right now and I don’t know how to fix it or proceed
You have asked me for my advice, the first thing I would suggest doing would be to pray about your situation.
The first question I would have to ask you, are you a born again Christian?
You did not mention having a church, but that is another suggestion that I would strongly give you so you can have some teaching and also fellowship.
It is good that you are open to things that others have told you, but you must always measure it up to God’s word and also how you feel about certain things. Just because you are in a situation right now that you are uncomfortable with, you can always make some changes in your life!
As far as your boyfriend, you might sit him down and tell him how you feel about his anger issues. Let him know that he needs to get some help with it because it has become a problem with you.
I will pray that you seek God tonight in prayer before bed and tomorrow morning too. Pray each morning when you wake up, and each night when you put your head to the pillow.
Please pray for my marriage
Thank you for contacting me. Your request is very general, but God knows what you are going through. Keep in mind the reason or reasons that you married your spouse. Trust that when you call upon the Lord, He will hear you and give you the wisdom that you need. Remember that all marriages and relationships take work if you want them to work.
There is hope for your marriage, be patient and reach out for help from your pastor or a counselor that can mediate between the two of you. You did not give me any specifics, so I will say that you need to take your marriage to God in prayer and let God fix things.
The less you say to change your spouse the better off you will be, but instead, take a look at yourself and admit to yourself where you have fallen short yourself. If you confess your shortcomings to your spouse, maybe that would show that you are serious about having a better marriage.
Cast all your anxiety on him (Jesus), for He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7
Check out these pages on my website. I think they can be of help to you. Also, feel free to call 800-633-3446 to talk with someone.
Please keep in prayer for depression.
Thank you for contacting me. I was invited to a pastors/ministry leaders breakfast a few weeks ago, and I heard there that it is common that a pastor can get burnt out or depressed. I will keep you in my prayers, and I pray right now that you take good care of yourself in the coming weeks, as you allow others to help you and that you rest in the Lord’s care!
Just to let you know how I know somewhat how you are feeling, I was severely depressed in high school and also when my wife and stepson moved out, and eventually, she divorced me. If you need medical help, there is no shame in doing that, I was put on Cymbalta for depression, and it really helped me, it might help you too. But keep praying and letting those who love you help you in this time of your need.
Keeping it simple, have you been:
- Eating healthy? (avoid sugar and caffeine)
- Exercising? (at least 20 minutes a day for at least three days a week)
- Getting proper sleep? (7-8 hours)
- Casting your cares upon the Lord? 1 Peter 5:7
- Delegate some of your authority to others for a short season until you are back on your feet.
Check out NeedEncouragement.com/depression
May God Bless you and keep you, and may His face shine down upon you!
I am afraid my depression is going to sink me. I feel so hopeless and useless. I even cross the road recklessly hoping a car would knock me over. I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. I feel suicidal, and the pain keeps getting worse. Please help me.
I can understand that depression is not something fun to go through, I have been depressed a couple of significant times in my life, so I know to some degree what you are going through.
First of all, you need to know that God created you and loves you, and now you need to go to Him in prayer to give you comfort and support at this time. At some point you will need to figure out what is the cause of your depression, is it a divorce, loss of a job, death of a loved one, etc. But now in the meantime, realize that you are just going through a tough time, and it will eventually be resolved, and life will come back to normal as spring comes after a cold winter.
Here are three links that I hope will be of help to you!
The first video on this page I think you will like…https://needencouragement.com/bad-days
If what I have shared with you does not help, please go to your nearest hospital and get medical help. Taking medication on a temporary basis can be a good thing to get you unstuck. I am not a doctor, but I was on Cymbalta when I was depressed going through my divorce, and it sure helped me.
But I would first suggest you to take your depression to God, and I am glad you reached out to me, but do not stop here, I pray that you will seek the help you need to get back on your feet again.
You are not alone, (chat now) most people would have to admit that they have at least once thought about the idea of suicide. Suicide prevention saves lives!
There is help available now, and please do not delay!
Even thoughts of living life can make living life such a painful burden, I know that feeling, and that is why you need God’s help and help from others who care, so once again, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
May God bless you and keep you strong!
My husband is asking me to do a sexual act with him that I feel uncomfortable doing. Not because it is singular but because I am extremely “grossed out” by what he wants me to do. I never ever imagined that sex would include an act such as this…maybe I was naive. Anyways, we have we great relationship except for this, and it comes up and turns into an argument every few months. Should I be doing what he wants me to do even though it makes me feel sick to my stomach and I hate every single minute of it? Am I just being selfish? Should I be submitting myself even when the thought of doing this act makes me hate being married and creates anger in my heart? I feel I can’t tell him any of these feelings because every time I do it turns into an argument again and I end up feeling horrible and selfish…yet I can hardly force myself to do what he is asking. Advice or thoughts?
Thank you for contacting us. I do not think it is necessary to share the graphic details, to understand that whatever your husband wants you to do is not you being selfish, it is your husband who is being selfish. You said that you talked about this to him, and it brings up arguments, so I would suggest that you have your pastor, or a counselor or even a very close couple that you trust to talk things over together. A pastor would be my first suggestion, a counselor my second and a close couple my third option.
You have tried to please him by submitting to his desires, but if it makes you feel sick to your stomach, enough is enough! I pray that you handle this situation in a godly way, try to keep your emotions out of it and explain the fact that it makes you sick to your stomach! Your heart is not trying to hold back sex from him, and it is just that what he wants is not something you are willing to do.
I will pray right now for you and your husband that this matter can be settled without any more arguments or hurt feelings. Before you talk with your husband again or your pastor, or a counselor, or couple. Take your concerns to God in prayer! 1 Peter 5:7
God bless you both,
I need Biblical advice for a decision, please.
After four years of marriage and two beautiful children, my wife divorced me. We had a decent life, but She was behaving as an abnormal person, and it caused a lot of discord in our couple. The divorce was finally pronounced in March 2018 after one year of intense inconvenience and a series of twists in both directions. Until recently, my now ex-wife was not open to any dialogue (it was her way or the highway) and used all deceptive techniques to rally anyone to her cause. After I made an unworthy, disgusting, but justified, act against her, I was happily surprised to see an unexpected reaction from her. For the first time in years, she is open to debate and recognizes her wrongdoing.
According to herself, the word of God and the difficulties she has encountered since she was alone with the children have helped her to understand where she has faulted. She says she’s ready to come back and this time for real and for good. To her credit, she’s been trying to come back for a long time now. This time, there is something different. I have always loved her, but her behavior repelled me and even scared me. This time, I see someone who finally looks sincere in what she says. So I let myself go. She even managed to get me again in her bed this week.
The problem is that thinking that I had done everything not to lose her, and she had made it clear to anyone who wanted to hear it that she did not love me and that she would divorce at any cost. Convinced that I had lost her forever and that she wanted to harm me, I decided to rebuild my life and move on. I went into a relationship with an American girl a few months before the judge signed the final divorce decree. We recently had a son who is now two months old. My new girl, despite the significant financial problems that torment us in this year, does not bother me at all. She’s just a little lazy.
Dear pastor, if I had a choice, I would never have divorced. My children are devastated by this divorce, and their mother seems to need me. My new girl and our son need me as much. This situation destabilizes me because no solution will leave all parties happy. What is the biblical approach to dealing with this kind of situation if there is one? And what is your personal opinion on the situation?
Sorry, it took a while to get back to you, but it is hard to give you any real wise counsel because I am sure your situation is broader than just what you wrote to me.
Have you prayed to God about this, or have you talked with your pastor about this?
It seems that you have gotten into a problematic situation and deep down I think you know what the right thing to do would be. This is too involved to resolve over one email. I suggest you step back and pray about this for a few days and then reach out to your pastor or a counselor.
I am sorry if you do not hear what you want to hear, but if you do what I suggested you will be on the right road to some solutions…
May God bless you and give you wisdom and peace. If you struggle with prayer, here is a link that can be of help to you.
I pray that you keep in mind your children and that you will be wise in how you handle your situation, and that God prompts you to do what His will is, and you listen.
Thank you so much for your advice.
Hello, thank you for reading this. I will prayerfully take the advice given, and I am grateful for your kindness in helping me.
My husband and I have been married for two years. We both are Christian and want to have a God-honoring marriage.
The problem we have is how we handle our arguments and heated discussions.
This doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens enough to cause me to feel discouraged about our future.
Last night we got into an argument about finances. I started crying, and he told me several times to stop. He told me to “grow up.” I then proceeded to shove him and ask him to leave. When I shoved him, It happened so fast.
Soon Afterwards he said to me that I should never put my hands on him and I agreed that how I reacted was wrong.
This anger has caused me much grief as I have been known to let it affect me in the past during heated discussions with my husband.
Today we haven’t spoken at all about it other than saying sorry to each other by text.
How can I learn to relax my anger during a conflict? I also feel like my husband is careless with his words during a conflict.
In the meantime, I will be praying about this and seeking God’s direction.
God has given us all emotions and different personalities, yet as a Christian, you know that the Holy Spirit is living in you and we need to conform to God’s will which is not to let your emotions fly off the handle. You know that, and I am glad you feel remorse. (I was married ten years), and our tempers flew off the handle a few times, but I too was remorseful and got back in line when it happened. I say this, so you do not beat yourself because of your mistake, but take it to God and go to your husband and apologize and make sure you know he accepts your apology, then never do that again! (one thing to do is not discuss stressful types of things like money or other stuff like that late before bed)
The first thing to do is to pray about this situation, more specifically your part in it. I may ask you if you are taking care of your health, which means not only your spiritual life but your physical health too.
- Do you pray and read your Bible daily? (if not start with 10 minutes each morning and build up from there)
- Do you exercise?
- Do you eat healthy foods and avoid bad foods?
- Do you get enough sleep?
- Do you take vitamins?
- Do you avoid alcohol or keep it to a very minimum amount if need be?
- Do you laugh and enjoy your time with your husband?
- Do you have a romantic life with your husband?
With these eight questions, I am sure you will discover where some of your problems are rooted.
One more thing before something bad happens again:
H.A.L.T = Don’t get too:
I pray that you both remember why you got married two years ago, and build on that. You guys gave your vows in front of God, and all those who were at your wedding, not this (the marriage) is what it is all about. You need to trust God and do God’s will and everything else (anger, budget, etc.) will all fall into place. Pray for your husband not only your self, the devil wants to destroy you guys, but remember he is a defeated foe, even though he still can make your life’s miserable!
I would strongly suggest that you apologize for face to face (Text is just a temporary bandage). Use this incident as something to grow together from. I would love to hear how you guys resolved things if you would like to let me know, I am sure you will recover from this speed bump you experienced!
I am sure if your husband is a good Christian husband, he will accept your apology, and you guys can make up tonight!
Here are a couple of links you may want to check out:
There are many other good pages on my site.
May God bless you and keep you, may his face shine upon you and give you strength!
I am a 27 yr old mother of 2 beautiful and smart daughters, but I am also a hard struggling addict. I use to be happy and I could hear the lord when he spoke to me, like anything I asked of him would almost manifest itself he answered my prayers so quick, and I love him and respectfully fear him but I am afraid he’s given up on me after relapsing every other day I tell myself I’m going to quit. I feel hopeless for telling myself right before I stick the devil’s sword in me, ” Lord, please forgive me again, I’m so sorry, I’m sick, and I need you!” Please, can someone help me before I lose everything I love, or everything I love loses me? There are not many rehabs in Louisiana much fewer ones that let your children come, plus my husband doesn’t know my addiction goes this deep. Please help! Thank you and bless you if you can help someone as hopeless like me who seems to love their sin more than God our Father but I won’t let the devil take me that far, I still and will forever love my Father!!!
Thank you for reaching out to us, it is apparent that you have had enough of your addiction. My first suggestion that I give to everyone is to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I too had an addiction to alcohol and drugs when I was younger, I quit using when I was 26 years old, and it was one of the wisest and the best thing I could do for myself with God’s help. You can stop with God’s help too. (No God did not turn His back on you, you turned your back on Him, but He will take you back like the prodigal son, or in your case prodigal daughter) He took me back!
It does not sound like you are attending a church right now, but a church with good fellowship could be just what you need at this time. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Do you have anyone who can keep you accountable? NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
You have two options right now.
- You can continue in your addiction and keep sinking lower and lower and harm your daughters with your addiction, and ultimately end up divorced.
- Or you can get sincere and transparent, and reach out for help so that you can find the joy that you so deeply miss.
Just the fact that you have reached out today tells me that you want help.
- Get on your knees and pray to God to remove your addiction.
- Level with your husband to let him know that you are struggling, if he is any kind of good man, he will want to help you!
- Stop seeing whoever is supplying your addiction.
- Get rid of any drugs or alcohol in your home.
- Get a counselor and or an accountability partner to help keep you on the straight and narrow.
I think these links might be of help to you:
I will be praying that God heals you from your addiction and that the suggestions I have shared with you will be helpful to you. Keep I mind that God can take this addiction from you if you hand it over to Him and not keep taking it back.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
If you need to talk to a trained Christian counselor, you can call 800-633-3446
May God bless you and show you the way out of your addiction.
Thank you so much, Mr. Bill, I will continue praying and having faith in the lord, and I will also read the links you sent, you can tell you yourself actually replied back to me, and I thank you for taking your time out to lend a helping hand. Nobody really knows what one kind word can do for someone. May God continue to bless you thanks so much!
You are very welcome, now commit yourself to get back on the right track. DO NOT think you can do it in your power, because you can not; you need God’s help and the help of those people that God puts in your life to help you. It would help if you were very serious about this because unfortunately, a half-hearted effort will not accomplish your desired goal.
I will pray that you make it the rest of the week without using, then after accomplishing that, keep on moving forward, you can do it with God’s help, believe me, I did. With God all things are possible!
God bless you,
P.S. I see you are up late at night sending this email, so try to get back on a regular sleeping, eating pattern which will be of help to you too, I say this because I care and you need your strength and health if you want to get clean!
I have a difficult situation, my brother James died in May, Mom had a stroke that day, and died in June. I had probate court, cremations, memorials, then clearing and shelling mom’s house (the family home), getting a new place, then my husband filed for divorce because I spend too much time in Ohio (we had been living in England). Now that I have cleared out of our English home, I can finally relax, and it is hitting me hard every morning.
I am sorry to hear that you have been in a storm time in your life. It makes it hard when many things happen relatively at the same time. It is wise that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are going through some grieving and you need to be patient with yourself. NeedEncouragement.com/grief
If you believe in the Lord, you can take refuge in him during these hard times that you went through, and thank Him for his faithfulness to see you through.
The first thing I would do would be to pray to God about all that you have gone through and thank Him and ask Him for wisdom what to do now. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I have been through some difficult times in my life, and I have found that prayer, fellowship with other believers, taking care of my health, exercise, eating correctly, and being with good friends and family members for support.
One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.
I hope and pray that what I shared will be of help to you, and I pray that you find healing and hope in Jesus Christ and your faith will grow because of all that you have been through.
Feel free to call 800-633-3446
May God bless you and keep you safe as you walk with Him,
Hello. May I please chat with someone online.
To get right to your question about wanting to chat with someone, you can visit NeedEncouragement.com/chat
It is apparent to anyone that life can be very complicated at times, but whatever you are going through, keep in mind that others like myself have gone through similar situations and have made been able to make it through.
I wanted to die two times in my life, once when I was in high school with all the pressures of school and problems because of drugs and alcohol. The second time was when my wife left me, and all it seemed I could think about was wishing that the pain would end in both circumstances. I am thankful that I reached out for help like you are doing, you are going to be okay.
A couple of questions for you to think about to get you started on the right path:
- Are you praying to God at all? Have you asked God to forgive you for everything you have done wrong? 1 John 1:8-9
- Are you getting enough sleep at night 7-8 hours each night
- Are you eating healthy?
- Are you getting any exercise?
- Are you avoiding alcohol and drugs?
The first thing I always suggest to anyone who contacts me, it to pray about your situation. Ask God what you need to do.
It says in James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
If you are not familiar with praying, check out NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I encourage you to go to your pastor at your church, if you do not have a pastor, go to NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.
Whatever you are going through right now, I am not minimizing how badly you feel about it, so please trust me when I tell you.
Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
God knows your pain, so how about doing what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
May God bless you and keep you safe in His presence. I feel your pain, and I will pray that my advice to you will be of help to you!
My husband and I are Christians he moved out Dec 12, and we have been in communication a little but only via text. Tonight he texted and said he was driving by and wanted to know if I wanted to be intimate with him. After spending 2 hours prior to telling me, I’m not a godly wife.
I am glad you have reached out for some help.
- What does your pastor say about your husband moving out?
- Are you talking about getting some counseling soon?
- What is stopping the two of you from forgiving one another?
It sure sounds like some type of broken communication and or misinterpreting what each of you has said, without clearly understanding each other. Of course, you understand that leads to hurt feelings, which leads to angry feelings, which leads to feelings of revenge and bitterness, and attitudes of I am right, and you are wrong that is inevitable.
I strongly suggest each of you, at least you, for now, to take an inventory of your heart to God, and confess all that you have done, said, or thought of to your husband. Hopefully, he can do the same, but in the meantime, you take care of your business with God.
Next time the two of you talk, try to repeat what he just said so that you understood exactly what he meant? (for example, when you thought he said you were an ungodly wife, possibly he might have intended to say that something you said or did was not godly, which could be a possibility since we are all sinners right? None of us are perfect, and we have all fallen short of God’s glory)
My point is that if you backtrack to the point of why your husband left or was asked to leave, you will find a trail of unhealthy communication all along the road — each incident which leads to hurt feeling, angry feeling, feeling of revenge and bitterness pulls you further apart and is not pleasing to God.
You need to let go of the past and start to rebuild, if not you will be divorced before you know it. If you want your marriage to last, you need to take charge and do something about it. Forgiveness is a part of this equation.
Without knowing more about what is going on between the two of you. Seeing things through the eyes of a man, either this might be a way that he is trying to tell you that he still loves you. Or it could be a selfish, self-seeking idea on his part, and I have no way of judging his intentions.
But, if you want your marriage to stay alive, you need to be open to communication and spending time with each other, unless it is not a safe situation for you to be in.
If I were you, I would welcome him over, but before you got intimate, you need to do some talking and soul searching openly with each other.
Maybe he is thinking that he made a mistake by moving out. The Bible does talk about not withholding sexuality from each other unless you both agree that for a short time it would be appropriate. So bottom line, I definitely would entertain the idea for you to be intimate with your husband unless you are in fear of him.
I pray that you will be open to mending your bridges quickly because if not, your marriage will be in jeopardy!!!
Here are a couple of links that might be of help to you.
Here is some homework for you to do this week:
- Pray for your husband each morning and evening and during the day when you can.
- Pray to God to soften both of your hearts.
- Confess to God (and your husband also) anything you have done that needs to be forgiven.
- Be willing to forgive whatever your husband has said or done to you. (if we do not forgive others, our Father in heaven will not forgive us)
- Write a letter to your husband to tell him you are sorry for upsetting him and that you forgive him for upsetting you.
This is a lot for you to do, you can either work hard to keep your marriage alive, focus not on what he did to you or said to you, but instead focus on how you are going to get him to want to come back to live with you.
You have a chance right now to save your marriage, if you procrastinate much longer and refuse to go to God for help, you will find yourself divorced and very miserable for a number of years, believe me, I have been through what you are going through, I fought the good fight and did not give up on my marriage, yet my ex got weak and gave up.
I am asking you to be strong and not give up. Do whatever it takes to stay married. Divorce is extremely painful and leaves scars. Take the high road like I did, so that even if your marriage does not work, (which we hope it starts to mend right way), you will know in your heart of hearts that you did all you could do to keep your marriage vows. You can not control your husband, but you can pray for him!!!
Hi, I really need advice on this relationship I am in. I am a Christian I believe in Jesus and I want to know what God is saying is best for my life. I need some advice on my relationship, please.
You have not given me much to advise you on, but I can tell you one thing for sure, is that you ought to pray about it, ask God for wisdom, it says in
I hope that what I shared can be an excellent start to resolve things in your relationship.
Counseling question, I live in Sydney Australia do you offer free Christian counseling?
The free Christian counseling is based in the United States, yet with the internet and phone, you can chat with someone. NeedEncouragement.com/chat or, you can call 800-633-3446 and talk with someone. https://chataboutjesus.com
Also, we have these Question/Response pages, that we share our responses to emails that we get.
Keep in mind the best counsel is that from Jesus Christ via prayer! NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
What about talking with a close friend or pastor at your church? If you are not attending a church right now, you would be wise to look into finding one, I have a tool to find a church, but it might only be in the US, but it is worth looking into. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I hope what I have shared is helpful to you.
Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.
God bless you and may He keep you near to Him daily!
I have a bunch of trauma throughout my life my faith in God keeps me going, but my anxiety and depression always get the rest of me can afford counseling I just need somebody to talk to supportive
I am glad that you are reaching out for help, although I would suggest that you find a church with some church fellowship that would be able to meet your needs. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Another thing I strongly suggest that you start praying about your concerns to God and He will start to show you the way that you ought to go. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Here are two links that will address a couple of your concerns.
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who can help you, or you can chat at NeedEncouragement.com/chat
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
I hope that what I have shared with you will be something that will help you in your situation! Having a church to give you support and encouragement is very important. Keep praying and keep close to God, and I pray that God puts some special people in your life to help to continue to point you to Jesus.
How does one go about forgiving someone who is toxic, but doesn’t wish to be around that person anymore? There is no love, honesty or respect in this relationship. A family member has chosen to judge my children and me. She has made it known her judgments. I feel I can forgive her, but don’t know if I can be around her or expose my children to her as she is not in a place of reconciliation.
She has told me she wants to move forward but has warned me that she will still be sarcastic with me and that I need to thicken my skin. It would be great to move on as this has robbed me of so much time emotionally. You know, I have read all kinds of things on forgiveness, and I think I’m at a place to forgive. Realizing that she has some issues with grief (from a death in the family) and has taken it out on my children and me. I do have compassion for her and feel sorry for her that she is in a bad place. However, I don’t want to expose myself to her. Does that mean I’m not forgiving?
With what you have shared, it reminds me of a scripture from Romans 12:18 “As far as possible as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I just shared that scripture with my grandson the other day because I know how important it is to be at peace with others.
Maybe taking a break from being around your family member for a while might defuse the emotions that seem to be flying freely.
You may just limit your contact just to text messages, so she doesn’t think you are running from her. Assure her that you are trying to figure out how to resolve things.
Before you do anything though, take this situation to God in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
He will give you wisdom on how to deal with your family members and protect your children at the same time. If you can think of something that you need to apologize to her for your part in anything, so that might start the healing process, find out what is she upset about specifically or what did you do wrong in her eyes specifically? Admitting your part would most likely defuse the situation. Humbly apologize of any harsh words or anything like you will discover the love in her heart that has been covering up by pain and anger begin to resurface in a good way again.
When we forgive someone, that does not mean we totally forget what they have said or done, but it does put it in the past where it belongs. Then you can proceed to allow the other person to build trust back into the relationship. God’s word says in Matthew 6:15, But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. That scripture alone was enough for me to realize how important forgiveness is.
I will pray for you, and I hope that what I have shared will help your situation!
Hi Good evening,
My name is Blessing and I am 23 years old. I am confused, I am dating a guy who has 1-year-old child, he says he and his baby’s mother doesn’t see things the same way anymore and they had broken up before she found out she was pregnant so they decided to keep the baby but they aren’t dating anymore even their families are aware of it. I met him a month before the baby was born.
Am I wrong for dating him as a Christian? My family doesn’t want us together because he has a child, but to me, I feel no one in this world isn’t guiltless, so it isn’t a barrier as long as we are having a plan for a better future. I don’t know what to do about my family and make them understand that so far we are happy and I have never been this happy with anyone like him; with him, I don’t have to pretend to be something else, I can confide him, and he assists me however way he can. Plus opportunity they say to come but once I don’t want to make a mistake to let him go without giving him the benefit of the doubt that he means well for me.
He proposed that we move in together since we stay in the same city and on rent so moving in together we could save costs. What do I do? Am confused, I do love him
Please help me,
It is quite apparent that you are feeling torn in two directions, what your brain is thinking and what your emotions are feeling. I am sorry that this is hard on you to decide, I will give you my opinion and share what God’s word says. My first thought is that you need to start praying about the situation that you are in. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Without knowing more details, it sounds like you are not wrong to want to date your boyfriend, but your parents who are seeing things more objectively are counseling you not to.
You are entertaining the idea of moving in with him which increases the probability to break up or if you get married to be divorced. (living together increase the odds for divorce)
Then try to put your emotions to the side for a minute and look at it from the perspective of the baby.1. What does God want you to do in this situation?
2. Are you willing to have a baby that is not yours in your life having to share responsibilities with the mother every other week if that?
3. Do you get along with the mother?
4. How does your boyfriend treat you in general?
5. How does your boyfriend talk about his baby and the baby’s mother?
You have only been dating less than a year, and it sounds like you are putting your life on hold for him.
If you are having sex with him, my suggestion would be to abstain from sex until he would be willing to marry you.
It is interesting that I have done similar to what you are involved in. Years ago I dated my daughter’s mother, got her pregnant, she broke up with me, life was chaotic.
I am not telling you what to do. You will have to decide for yourself. Re-read what I wrote and think clearly about the questions I asked and comments I made.
But the one thing I will firmly tell you is to NOT move in with him, especially since you are a Christian. Even if you were not a Christian, I would not suggest moving in together.
I will be praying for clarity in your decision, remember whatever you decide will make an affect your life positively or negatively down the road.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
I hope that what I have shared helps give you some food for thought in making a wise choice!
Sometimes I feel like giving up on life I’m too stressed out I messed up in my relationship I feel like nothing is going good for me. Please Please Please help!
There is an expression I would like to share with you that says, “If you keep on doing the same things, you are bound to get the same results.”
- Are you getting enough sleep? Exercise? Eating healthy?
- Do you pray about things like your relationship? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Do you have a close relationship with God?
- Do you tend to say yes to things when you ought to say no?
If you believe your relationship has potential and you are willing to put effort into it, then that sounds like a good plan, but if your relationship is a toxic one, maybe it is time to move on if you have done all you can do to make it healthy.
I would suggest thinking about my comments, and if you need more help, you can call 800-633-3446 or chat with someone at NeedEncouragement.com/chat
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I pray that what I have shared will be of help to you! Remember to keep praying!
Hello, I have struggled with alcohol for many years. It would be great if you could point me to find a person that could talk with me and encourage me.
I am delighted that you are ready! I would suggest that you pray about your situation and ask the Lord for His help. Besides God, there is no magic wand to rid yourself of your alcohol problem. If there were, I would tell you, and I would have used it myself!
Without going into treatment, I would strongly suggest considering the following suggestion that has helped me in my recovery. Figure out what makes sense to you, and what you think would work. Decide what you are going to try, and then give it all you have, trusting that God will help you!
- Pray and keep praying each day
- Get back into your Bible
- Start writing a journal
- Find yourself a good church if you do not have one already
- Rally the troops to help you. Your pastor, best friend, parents, husband, etc.
- Get honest with your husband about your drinking and ask for his help.
- Put a picture of your children in your bathroom mirror to remind you to stay sober.
- Replace drinking for some other activity
- Find an accountability partner
- Find a counselor
- Fill your mind with whatever is good, true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, or praiseworthy, think about such things.
- Reward yourself when you have gone three days without drinking (ice cream, etc.)
- Reevaluate your diet
- Get proper sleep
- Get exercise each week
- Drink more water
- Chew gum
- Stay out of bars
- Get all alcohol out of your house
- Avoid all people you have drank with without exception
- Consider going to AA or NA meetings
- Call 800-633-3446
- Visit NeedEncouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs
- Visit NeedEncouragement.com/my-drug-and-alcohol-problem
- Visit NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
Rochelle, just to inform you… you are in a battle, in other words, you need to know your weapons (God’s word, prayer, fellowship, and the list I made you above, and you need to know your enemy (devil) who is out to kill, steal and destroy your life.
It would help if you were in this effort 100% because any half effort will not be enough to have victory through my experience. I played games with alcohol and drugs for 10, until I got sober and sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Give God a try and the suggestions I have shared with you for 60 days, and you will see for yourself that there are hope and victory just around the corner! I have been clean and sober since June 25, 1986, and if I could do it with God’s help, you can too! I am 58 years old, and I do not miss drinking one bit! God even helped me quit smoking since January 10, 1988. All I know is that God loves us and that God is good!
May God bless you and give you the strength you need. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!
I need advice in a current relationship. I have a really difficult relationship, and I need the advice to confront it, and I want to know what to do. It is complicated to explain through text. We were living together with plans of getting married but now we separated, I believe The Lord wanted us to separate to make this right, but now it’s just hurt because she lives in another state. Marco
Your relationship with your girlfriend I can understand is important to you, and I think the time away from each other can be a good thing for the two of you to clear your minds and get a better perspective.
I hope you guys can talk problems out so you can get beyond the challenges to the solutions.
You are saying that you want to marry your girlfriend. You need to ask yourself some questions, like are her goals in life similar to yours? Are you both believers in Jesus Christ? NeedEncouragement.com/get-right-with-god
Are your values compatible? How long have you been dating, I would hope at least one year because anyone can put their best foot forward for six months or 9 months or even more than a year without any clue that there are any problems.
These are some of the reasons that the divorce rate is so very high. NeedEncouragement.com/divorce Another question for you is, “How is your relationship with, God?” Without an understanding of what God’s will is, you are going to have problems maintaining a relationship with your girlfriend.
If you are serious about your relationship with your girlfriend and she seems interested too, then you might want to step back and determine how realistic your relationship is and if you are compatible enough to get married. If I were you, I would take my time and carefully evaluate things and in the meantime keep in touch with her via text messages and phone calls.
I pray that the advice I have given you will be of help to you. Keep praying and seek God for your answers.
If you want to talk with someone that can help, you can call 800-633-3446 or chat at NeedEncouragement.com/chat
This person requested that I did not share her question or what she wrote about concerning a situation with the suicide of her friend, which is very understandable and personal. So I will only share what I have suggested to her to do while keeping her anonymity.
First of all, I am sure it helped you already by writing this out, whenever I put my thoughts on paper it puts them into perspective. Also to I assure you that I will keep what you have shared private and not put it on the internet.
Of course, grief is appropriate when someone you have known has taken their life. My former pastor told me once a long time ago, that feeling grief is so very necessary, yet there is a time when grief needs to be let go of. It has been about six months now for you, and I am thinking that depending on how much pain you are still experiencing, I think you would do well to seek some counsel for at least a short time. I do not know all your details, but six months you ought to be experiencing much healing and life returning to so-called normal, but who am I to say, because God created us all different.
Here are a couple of questions I would like to ask you that I hope will be of help.
- Do you have someone from your church or the pastor able to talk with you one on one at least for a few times, or even more if necessary?
- Have you been praying about this situation specifically?
- Are you taking care of your health, eating correctly, sleeping 7-8 hours a night, getting some exercise, avoiding alcohol and drugs?
- Did you do all you could do to help this young woman?
- Did you do anything to make her situation worse?
- Are you keeping yourself busy, so you do not have too much time to dwell on negative things?
- If you still feel bad, ask yourself “why” I do not see anything you did that was wrong, it is in your head that the devil is trying to steal, kill, and destroy you mentally. Do not fall for the lies of Satan. Cling to God and resist the devil.
It would be easy for me to say that you ought not to worry about this woman’s suicide, you had nothing to do with it. Your compassion seems to have gotten out of balance. Real it back in and continue with your artwork and teaching and get more involved with your relationship with God. Daily reading of your Bible in the morning, memorize some important scriptures, do some journaling, have fellowship with your Christian friends.
Yes, having to deal with what you did, is without a doubt very difficult. But with God all things are possible. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
I hope this has been of help to you, please contact 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 800-633-3446
Or you can chat through a link from NeedEncouragement.com/chat
Grace, I pray that you find the peace that God intends for you to have. Trust in him, and he will show you the way. Also, remember that when you encourage someone (even though you have your own burdens), the encouragement that you give to others will be an encouragement to you. Trust me. It does work that way!!!
If you still need more help, keep praying, keep reading your Bible, keep going to church, keep fellowship with other believers, and if you still need more help, I suggest that you check out a Christian Life Coach that I think highly of, you can watch her videos for free but she does charge a reasonable price for counseling.
Her name is Kris Reese you can find her at https://needencouragement.com/christian-life-coach/
God bless you and keep you safe,
Please pray for my husband. He does not love or wants me anymore. Maybe pray for me because I’m the one that can’t get through the pain. We’ve been married 45 years.
I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I can only imagine the pain you are going through after 45 years of marriage. Without knowing more details, my first thought would be to suggest that you do not give up, but rather give this over to God in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I was married for almost ten years, and my wife moved out and divorced me two years later, so I understand to a degree what you are going through. NeedEncouragement.com/chat or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who is a trained volunteer Christian counselor.
Have you sought after marriage counseling? If I were you, I would do all you can do to keep peace and keep your marriage intact. NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
The pain of a marriage that is suffering can be great, yet the reason I did not divorce my ex was that I felt that what God put together, let no one pull apart. That was a consolation that I received for being faithful, even though my marriage was dissolved. Keep in mind that the pain of divorce can be as great or even greater in some cases.
You need to tap into your resources of the friendships that you have that can offer you some support. Even if your husband does not want to get counsel, I would suggest that you go alone to get some professional help. In the meantime, continue to pray and lean on your church and support system to get you through this.
If you could go to your husband and tell him that you are sorry and apologize for anything that you have done, this might soften his heart and make him look at his part in the problems of the marriage. (not that you are admitting things were your fault, but opening the door for forgiveness.needencouragement.com/forgiveness
Take things one day at a time and trust that God still has a plan for you and your marriage, even though it seems your husbands heart has hardened a little, but you do not be the one who pursues a divorce, let it be him if need be, and your conscience will not be as much of a hindrance to you if worse came to worse.
Be strong not to argue with him, but rather show him love with your words and action. In the meantime, keep up things in your life the best you can, your diet, get regular 7-8 hours sleep, exercise, friendships, etc. I pray that whatever got into your husband to so-called not love you anymore, will leave him and he will come to his senses.
Guard your heart and do not give in to the negative thinking. Do what you can do to win him back since he is in some type of fog. If he comes back to loving you, that will be great, if not, at least you did all you could do to keep the marriage alive!
I pray for your marriage and peace in your heart. Trust God, and He will sustain you!
Remember that God loves you and He will always love you! Keep following the Lord… NeedEncouragement.com/follow-Jesus-Christ
Hey, brother Bill, it’s Raven again I don’t know if you remember me but I’m the mom with the drug addiction. I was emailing you bc I recently read in the Bible Hebrews about if you keep willingly sinning that’s publicly shaming God. I’m scared that when I finally get tired of the sin that God won’t take me back, plus I’ve been baptized like 10 times and about 2yrs ago I thought I finally got saved like I realized what it was actually all about, but now I feel I need another new start that gods not done with me. I’ve accidentally drifted from him, so I can only hear bits and pieces of him. I need some serious help without a lot of constructive criticism, I can take it, but I do enough of that for myself every day. Anything you can think to tell me will help, thanks again.
Yes, I do remember you writing to me not too long ago. It is good to hear back from you. I hope my suggestions helped you a little.
The first thing I need to ask you is, have you been praying about this? If you have, that is great, keep up the excellent work. If you have not, then you need to start and be consistent if you want to break your addiction!
As far as the scripture in Hebrews 10:26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sin is left. (I checked my footnotes in my bible) It mentioned that there is no sacrifice for sin left referring to after Jesus Christ. When you (or anyone) rejects Jesus, the person is on their own. I am assuming you did not reject Jesus, but rather your flesh is weak, and you keep falling for temptation. Natural consequences happen when we sin if you have not noticed those consequences already.
You need to find someone to help to keep you accountable, pastor, good friend, counselor, cousin, or whoever God puts in your path to help you. (But someone!!!)
I would suggest you get professional help, even a 30-day rehab treatment would be a step in the right direction, yet all I know for sure is that you need help. What you have done up until now apparently is not working — another thing I can tell you for sure that willpower and self-control will not be the answer. The answer is God and the people God puts into your life to help you.
As far as God turning His back on you, that is not true. It is us that turn our backs on God. I understand your addiction is tough to break, yet keep praying and keep reaching out to others like you have reached out to me.
- Here is a link to help you find a church NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
- Here is also a link to chat back and forth with a Christain who can help you NeedEncouragement.com/chat
- Here is a link that can give you some insights about prayer NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Here is one of many pages you can visit needencouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs
- Also, you can go to NeedEncouragement.com and browse around, check the drop-down menu and go to Addictions.
Here is a phone number to call to talk to someone on the phone 800-633-3446
There is hope, keep searching for it. Set some realistic goals and try to achieve them.
Please start by praying more regularly.
Thank you so much for the info! I hope I don’t bother you when I email you, and yes your right I use to go to “Life Church,” but it was while I was still addicted as I am now. I started to feel looked down on and weak. I went to that church for 2 yrs off and on, more on than off. Mr. Bill I want to ask a question, I feel so lost and can barely hear the lord and I know me, your right I am weak in the flesh and the pain on the inside tears at my heart and I know God feels it too but he’s waiting for me but I am afraid it’s too late for me I don’t know the purpose that God wants for me do you have any outlook on this please and thanks so much for taking the time out to answer me. Oh, and I was wondering where you’re at anyways and do you have a church? I read it all on your website, but I forgot how to get back to it lol. Anyways thanks so much and I’ll probably write back spontaneously if you don’t mind.
I have shared a lot with you, so now please tell me what you think you need to do to get your life back on track?.
I would much like to ask for advice on the situation that I am in…
My boyfriend of three years (James) has become increasingly “emotionally numb” since I moved across the country to him in Northern Virginia six months ago. I love my job at a private high school and am very involved with friends, even though my experience being near James’ family has been painful. We met in college and came from very similar backgrounds (both from families of 8/both faithfully Catholic, etc.). Tension has steadily increased in our relationship since my relocation to where he and his family live. James and I love each other very much and we both desire to “work things out.” Here is why I am reaching out to you:
James’ mother has never had a conversation with me, avoids me, and acts rude and uncomfortable whenever I have been in her presence. His father is quite silent on the matter and tends to be very risk-averse, but separately supports and encourages James. She (Diane) has only discouraged James in our relationship, and she feels betrayed, rejected and “left” since he has been in a serious relationship. She has told him that “he doesn’t know what he is doing,” and that, “she knows women and her judgment should be trusted.” James is her oldest son, and she will admit that she knows that she has a problem and that she tries to change but doesn’t know-how. (At this point, I do not think it is likely that she will change.) James lives at home, and I had seen strong indicators of enmeshment within his family since the beginning of our relationship three years ago. For example, currently, Diane has kindly told James that he could bring me home if he wants, but she will leave the house if he is to bring me over. James seems to see this as a sacrificial act of his mother and “the best that she can do right now.” Or, he will ask me not to come to events where his family is present because he “does not want to deal with it.” The enmeshment is subtle, and they all act very kind to each other. He has admitted that he feels guilty when he is with me and not with this family or has not spent enough time with them recently. I have been watching him live a double life and believing that he can make this work … I truly am not a part of his family life or his home… Our relationship leads to a separate compartment of his life, in the same city. I think that he believes that I have been the “cause” of his increased unhappiness and “emotional numbness” because I am the only thing that has changed in his day to day this past year, causing his disjointed experience. How I see it: James is trying to do the impossible by leading a double life, where I, the woman he loves and wants to be with, am separate from his family life. Space and independence from his family have not seemed to be established, even though he is a successful adult now. It’s an impossible balancing act, where there is no way for him to make everyone happy. In this scenario, I see him believing that he should be happy because he believes he is “doing the right thing” to please everyone. I believe that he is very fearful to “leave his family,” and doesn’t know how to take the steps. Due to that, I believe he will never have a happy and healthy relationship and family with me or any other woman. I do not believe that he is an individual independent adult emotionally. So, all parties have recognized that there is a problem, and my main concern is that James has projected this “problem” or enmeshment onto me.
How can I help this man that I love to start seeing the bigger picture here? How can I love and support him best through this journey?
Answering your questions from a man’s point of view, I think you need just to plan a time to sit down and the two of you talk. Ask him the questions yourself, How can I help this man that I love to start seeing the bigger picture here? How can I love and support him best through this journey?
Here are a few questions to help you think about why your boyfriend’s mother is avoiding you and why things might be affecting your relationship with your boyfriend?
- Have you thought about praying about this situation and reflected on your part of this problem with your boyfriend’s mom and your boyfriend?
- Have you any idea why his mother is keeping her distance from you?
- Have you said or done anything to offend her?
- Does she object that you are dating her son?
- Does she have a problem with your personality or values?
- Are you and James living together? That could be a problem in her eyes if she is a Christian.
- Did you ever think about asking her why she is avoiding you? Or do you think you already know and are not willing to respect her wishes?
- What has your boyfriend told you when you ask him about his mom?
- Has she always been this way?
- When you say you are working things out, what does work things out mean to you?
- When Diane admitted she has a problem, what did she say her problem was? Does she want help with her problem?
I read your email over a few times, and the only real solid suggestion to you would be to sit down, and the two of you Diane and you, or the three of you sit down for an hour to start to talk things out.
I asked you the above questions because I thought it would help you reflect on what is going on and to help give you some insights into your problem. I honestly do not have much to offer you in terms of a solution, except that the two of you (you and Diane) and also (you and James), then together the two of you sit down and talk with Diane to hopefully resolve things out or at least come to some agreements after airing things out in the open.Bill GreguskaNeedEncouragement.com
I need to be able to talk to someone that will listen and give me help… Roger
NeedEncouragement.com is set up primarily for the internet only.
My first suggestion to you would be to pray to God about your marriage, anger and how to love yourself. Then after doing that, I suggest that you call 800-633-3446 and talk to someone there, or you can chat by going to NeedEncouragement.com/chat and follow the link to chat.
Sometimes people overlook things such as:
- Getting enough sleep.
- A healthy diet.
- Getting some regular exercise.
- Avoiding stress by not overcommitting your schedule.
- Unconfessed sin.
- Make sure you have a regular prayer life. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I hope these suggestions help you, keep looking to the Lord, for He has the answers!
Tonight my husband and I were knocked down. We discovered that our 14-year-old daughter has been smoking weed, sneaking around, and now she has claimed that she thinks she is bisexual. Then I found out that my 23-year-old daughter told her that she is. Lord, I don’t know what to do. My heart is breaking, and I don’t know what way to turn. Please pray for my husband and me.
It is very wise that you are reaching out and asking for prayer. I encourage you to continue to do this because prayer is your best line of approach. Have you spoken to your pastor about this yet? Make sure that you and your husband are on the same page when dealing with our daughter(s).
I will pray that these thoughts and actions of your 14-year-old daughter are just passing whims she is going through. If you have a close enough relationship with her, I would suggest trying to sit down and hear her side of the story and try to explain that God created man and woman to be together. Explain to her that God has given her free will, yet with that free will she does not have the freedom to the consequences to her actions and disobedience.
Ask your 14-year-old some questions to open discussion. Putting up walls and anger will not be beneficial at this point. For example with marijuana, peer pressure is very significant not to mention the impact of marijuana or other drugs and alcohol.
You need to love her and also set up some boundaries that she ought not to cross without consequences. She is living in your home and needs to follow the rules like not breaking the civil laws such as smoking marijuana.
Or spiritual laws God has implemented such as having to do with homosexuality.
The youth in our culture has elevated things like marijuana, bisexuality, homosexuality, and young people who are curious and searching for their own form of truth. Pray of both of your girls and pray for wisdom for yourselves too. Sin comes in many different, and God hates all sin. Try to be patient and understanding with both of your daughters.
Do not allow this to turn into a shouting match, keep calm in the spirit and speak the truth in love. After that, at some point, your hands are going to be tied, and your daughter will make up her own mind. Be sure to continue to love her no matter what she chooses. She needs to know that you love her unconditionally even if she makes the wrong choices in life. I am sure you did not grow up without giving your parents any heartbreaking news either.
Keep praying for both your daughters and love them as God would love them. Put your daughter in an open palm to the Lord and allow Him to work in her heart and her mind. Do not panic, just lean on God a little harder!
May God bless you, and make you and your husband stronger during this time as you put your trust and hope in Him.
My fiance and I are struggling with the idea of sex “outside of marriage”. We firmly believe that Jesus looks to the heart of His people. And if our hearts have made the marriage covenant, they are “married” despite not having an official ceremony. Therefore, sex during engagement is acceptable. Thoughts?
I am glad you have reached out and asked for advice. First of all, you are not alone, this temptation is common to all couples to some degree or another, but what you do with this temptation, will affect your future. You say that you are engaged to be married, then why don’t you wait until you get married?
Dating ought to be a long-term situation to get to know one another, and engagement ought to be a short-term situation after getting to know each other fully. I assume you are planning to be married in spring, in that case, wait the approximately 150 days or less and start your marriage off on the right foot. Have you brought this concern of yours to God? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
There are more factors to consider. Do you guys attend church together? If so, what do you think your pastor would say about you wanting to have sex before marriage? Have you guys gone through marital counseling already? Has either one of you been divorced in the past? Are you living together?
With the extremely high divorce rate in the United States, you need to go into all of this with both of your eyes open and not be swept away emotionally with the carrot of sex driving your decisions. Divorce is very painful, something to be avoided at ALL costs! I know what I am saying because I have been divorced. NeedEncouragement.com/my-divorce-hurt
My thoughts are in agreement with God’s thoughts. So, if you want a straight answer to your question, it would be no not to have sex before marriage, for more information, read on.
Yes, Jesus looks at our hearts, but that does not mean he closes His eyes to things that He has established in His teaching.
Do you feel you know him long enough and good enough and trust him enough to be committed to you in all areas of life and visa Versa? If so, then you guys ought to talk about getting married sooner. If he wants to have sex before you guys are even married, what would stop him from having sex with someone else once you did get married? Living your life to honor God with integrity and honesty, are so important.
You have mentioned, “We firmly believe that Jesus looks to the heart of His people.” The question I ask you is, “Is your heart wanting to please God or your own flesh?”
I think you know the answer to your own question, and I can not or will not or will not give you counsel to go against God’s word. God has given you both a free will to do what you want, but you do not have the freedom to choose the consequences.
You did not mention if both of you are actively practicing your Christian faith or not. If not, that would be even more important to consider than anything else right now before you get married.
I am sorry that I could not condone your desire to have sex before marriage with your fiance. But I am sure if you bring this to God in prayer, He will give you the strength to be strong and start your marriage off the right way.
I pray that you seek God’s word more clearly and follow His will not our own will. (you recall what happened in the garden when Adam and Eve did what was right in their own eyes instead of obeying God.)
I am interested in free Christian counseling if you still have it available.
Good morning Kerry,
Yes, there still is free Christian counseling available on the website. My apology that when you went to NeedEncouragement.com/free-christian-counseling, I am sorry that I did not have it more clear for you to be able to see how to get “Free Chrisitan Counseling.”
Thanks for pointing that out to me. I went to the back end of the site and fixed that for you and others too. Now you will be able to see more clearly. I hope this helps, and counseling helps also.
Keep in mind that prayer needs to be involved each day asking God to direct you and show you the way. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I struggle day and day with emotional doubts in myself, and these doubts keep killing me with dark emotional feeling of the past, like a shame that keeps me from being me, and it’s just a really hard thing to deal with, and as I been looking for answer I came across this person on youtube who said that in doubt I should trust in God, which is Biblically correct also, but I just want advice on like how to best trust in God and have better relationships because now I know that God wants a greater revelation for me. So that’s what I need advice on which I’m going to be praying a lot because its all started with doubts for a whole year now and it has taken so much from my life, and all God wanted to do is to help me and love me, but I just kept. Listening to the dark feeling of depression, anxiety, shame, but I know that in the end god will heal me.
Thank you for reaching out to us, I hope what I share with you will be of help to you. You are not alone. Each human being has some doubts about themselves. Keep in mind who’s the voice you are listening to whether it is God’s voice or Satan’s voice. But it sounds to me as though that you have been focusing on your weaknesses and doubts more than you have been focusing on God and his strength and power and great love for you. Read this scripture below slowly and try to understand what God is trying to tell you.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Like any relationship here on earth, it takes time, energy and effort to make it work. You do not ignore your friends, so then why do we think that we can ignore God and still have a strong relationship with Him? Here are a couple of ideas that I am sure will get you started in having a better relationship with God:
Keep it Simple
- First thing in the morning, pray and thank God for a new day, invite God to direct your day, confess any sin you may be holding on to. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Open your Bible and read at least three to seven short verses in Proverbs to start with (increase your amount of learning as you feel more comfortable in doing so) Read as much as you would like to, be sure to read it slowly so you can understand what it is trying to say to you.
- Eventually begin reading the Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. (I would suggest beginning with the book of John)
- Write a short paragraph based on what you read and anything else you feel a need to say to God or to ask God.
- Find a Bible-believing church to attend, and find someone who can help you stay on track. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I hope this is going to be a good start for you to begin to rid yourself of depression, anxiety, shame. Here are three other pages that you might benefit from checking out.
I will be praying that you continue to pray, but when you pray Steve, not only pray but listen to what God is trying to tell you when you pray and also when you read his word. Here is a phone number you can call to talk with someone live 800-633-3446, also here is a link to get started on a chat if you prefer to do that NeedEncouragement.com/chat
Also, take some time to look over our website to see other things that might be helpful to you.
May God continue to bless and keep you near to Him, and make your path more clear to you to follow Him! Don’t give up. Things will get better.
Need to talk asap…relationship ended!
I am very sorry to hear that your relationship ended. Being rejected can be very hurtful. Maybe there was some misunderstanding between you and your partner that happened, and you could work things out. On the other hand, perhaps it was meant to be? Have you taken this to the Lord in prayer? He will give you the comfort that you are looking for if you ask for wisdom. James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Do you have a church that you attend? If so, I would suggest talking to someone at your church. If you do not have a church, I would recommend going to NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Another good suggestion would be to visit and chat with someone online NeedEncouragement.com/chat
I know you must be feeling some pain and confusion at this point, but rest assure that in our lives, people can let us down and leave us, but always remember that God will never leave you or forsake you! We do not do phone counseling, but the link for chat above can be of help to you. Otherwise, you can call 800-633-3446.
May God bless you and comfort you during this time, if you contact your partner, be sure to be very respectful, and apologize if you have done them wrong. If they do not want to talk, then pray for them and respect their request. I am praying that you find comfort in God’s word and things will work out in God’s will.
My mind seems to be overtaken with sinful thoughts most uncontrollable.
Here are a couple of things for you to think about and consider:
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Do you pray about these habitual sins?Do you read your Bible?Do you have fellowship with other believers?Do you confess your sins to God?Do you put yourself around situations that are a temptation to you?Do you have a church you attend?Do you have a pastor to talk with?
Here are a couple of pages on my website that can be of help to you:
Also, you can call 800-633-3446
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you has been of help to you!
I’ve been looking for someone to give me a piece of godly advice regarding a subject that’s been on my mind these past several weeks, but unfortunately, there’s nobody in my church who can help me as it’s a personal issue and I haven’t found anyone to chat to about it.
I didn’t want to make a habit of using the internet to solve problems but I was just hoping you would be available for just a one time piece of godly advice to a brother.
My wife and I are both in our late thirties, been saved since our mid-twenties, and have experienced a very fulfilling and blessed relationship both emotionally and spiritually. But there has been something that has been bugging me lately which my mind can’t seem to switch off from.
My wife is 39, is in great physical shape, she has always had a real woman’s body: power thighs, big round hips, and buttocks, and she takes care of herself. But the thing that’s bugging me is that she wears these leggings when she’s out in public, they aren’t see-through or anything, but they are very body-hugging, tight, and revealing of her lower body; every curve is on display when she wears them.
I don’t know why but for some reason I feel very insecure and start to feel very jealous when I notice other guys in public or at the grocery store staring at her buttocks or checking out her lower half – there is a lot to check out. I was just wondering if you could tell me from a spiritual perspective if I am sinning by feeling jealous. I don’t want to feel this feeling, and it would help tremendously if you could clarify for me if it is, in fact, a sin; that way I can fight it with scripture.
I don’t want to tell my wife what to wear, I just want to feel normal when she wears these leggings – most every other woman wears them in public, so why do I feel strangely jealous when she does?
I hope you can help me with this problem. I have prayed about it but I can’t seem to find any answers and as I say, there is no-one else to talk to.
What you are saying is right on the money. First of all, you are NOT sinning by having feelings of jealousy in this case, and if you did not have those feelings, I would be more concerned. The ones that are sinning are the ones who look at your wife lustfully. My daughter did something similar years ago, and when I confronted her, she told me that it was not her problem, but the guy’s problem. Maybe your wife is not even aware of what she is doing and how men are wired? This is what I suggest you do:
- Pray about it. needencouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Talk to your wife about it.
- If your wife does not like what you say, after telling her how you feel, offer her to buy her some new clothes, and give her an explanation of how men I wired to be visually stimulated which is different than how women are stimulated.
- If your wife still does not like what you say, do not make an argument out of it, but rather bring it to your pastor as a concern for your marriage.
Remember you are a man in your house, but be sure you are a gentleman in all circumstances and when dealing with this potential delicate subject. I hope what I have shared with you will help you and your wife!
May God bless you and your marriage and that your wife has ears to hear, and also she understands that you love her, and you want the best for her and your marriage!.Bill GreguskaNeedEncouragement.com
Thanks for your message but let me put it another way… if your wife wore tight, thin leggings in public that showed off her lower half wouldn’t you feel any pang of anger or jealousy over seeing other guys ogle it and want her to wear something else because her body belongs to you and you alone? Or would you say that feeling was a sin?
I do not know what else I can tell you, except to re-read the email that I sent you. But read it a little slower. I am sorry I was not 100% clear to you, but if she does not listen to what you say about the way she dresses, then contact your pastor, and the three of you can talk things out.
Go for the solution rather than being stuck on the problem. Take this to God in prayer first, then talk with your wife, then talk with your pastor if she is not willing to change her ways.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this but be patient and I am praying that things will work out.Bill Greguska NeedEncouragement.com
Hi, id like help with my relationship with God. In the summer of 2018, I’ve been the closest with God, but now I’ve lost faith. I feel like the reason why behind this is because of the stress and time from school. I’m not sure what to do, but I don’t feel a connection with him at all anymore. Please help.
I would suggest that you pray to God and rekindle that relationship that still is there but has been overlooked. He has not gone anywhere; it is us that turn our backs on him. He loves us and will forgive us as a loving Father would.
Ask yourself what got in the way of your relationship with God? Often some of the things that get between God and us are our flesh, money, laziness, complacency, lack of prayer, Bible reading, and I would say most of all sin. Is there any sin in your life that is not confessed and repented from?
(Two questions for you)
Do people go to hell because of self-perception?
Do people go to hell because they committed suicide?
I wanted to answer both of your questions, but the first question I did not understand precisely what you were trying to say, but I can tell you this though, the only way to go to hell would be to reject Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. We are all sinners every last one of us, but if we are have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, hell is not an option.
Here is a link to a youtube video that will help answer your question about suicide. https://www.youtube.com/embed/YTUlnyv6mbk
I was not sure why you asked the question about suicide, but if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or know someone who is, please go to NeedEncouragement.com/suicide-prevention
I got this information from an excellent website that I like, and I use often called GotQuestions.org
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you has answered your questions!
“If a Christian commits suicide, is he/she still saved?”
It is a sad fact that some Christians have committed suicide. Adding to the tragedy is the false teaching that committing suicide automatically consigns one to hell. Many believe that a Christian who commits suicide will not be saved. This teaching is not supported in the Bible.
Scripture teaches that, from the moment we truly believe in Christ, we are guaranteed eternal life (John 3:16). According to the Bible, Christians can know beyond any doubt that they possess eternal life (1 John 5:13). Nothing can separate a Christian from God’s love (Romans 8:38–39). No “created thing” can separate a Christian from God’s love, and even a Christian who commits suicide is a “created thing”; therefore, not even suicide can separate a Christian from God’s love. Jesus died for all of our sins, and if a true Christian, in a time of spiritual attack and weakness, commits suicide, his sin is still covered by the blood of Christ.
According to the Bible
Suicide is not what determines whether a person gains entrance into heaven. If an unsaved person commits suicide, he has done nothing but “expedite” his journey to hell. However, that person who committed suicide will ultimately be in hell for rejecting salvation through Christ, not because he committed suicide (see John 3:18). We should also point out, however, that no one truly knows what was happening in a person’s heart the moment he or she died. Some people have “deathbed conversions” and accept Christ in the moments before death. It is possible that a person who commits suicide could have a last-second change of heart and cry out for God’s mercy. We leave such judgments to God (1 Samuel 16:7).
The suicide of a believer is evidence that anyone can struggle with despair and that our enemy, Satan, is “a murderer from the beginning” (John 8:44). Suicide is still a serious sin against God. According to the Bible, suicide is murder; it is always wrong. Christians are called to live their lives for God, and the decision of when to die is God’s and God’s alone.
May God grant grace and the psalmist’s perspective to each one who is facing trials today: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 43:5).
I’m having relationship issues, my man misunderstood God and ended the relationship, I need God to pls speak to him and bring us back before my birthday. We’re ready for a Fresh Start with God as the foundation.
I am sorry to hear you are going through a relationship problem. My first thought would be to suggest that you take this relationship issue to God in prayer. Be patient and calm.
You might want to write him a short detailed letter explaining why you believe he misunderstood God. Write it out for him. Let him read it, and then you can have something to talk over. You might want to wait at least a day or two to give him the letter.
After you talk on the phone, then talk in person would be the way to deal with things.
My pastor’s wife told me something very wise I like to share with you. Keep your boyfriend, and everything and everyone in an open palm often the problem is that we hold on too tightly to people and things, allow God to work in your boyfriend’s heart and your heart in the next few days to see what develops.
I pray that you guard your heart and trust that God will work out things the way He knows best how to do.
Thank you so much this really brought relief to me, I plead that you also join me in prayers pls.
I pray right now that God restores your relationship with your boyfriend it that is your will, Lord. If not, I pray that Bello will find her strength in you Lord and the people in her life. It is apparent that Bello would love for the relationship to get back together and have it based on you God. Hear her plea Lord and give her what she needs. 800-633-3446
Thank you, that means a lot.
What you are saying is right on the money. First of all, you are NOT sinning by having feelings of jealousy in this case, and if you did not have those feelings, I would be more concerned. The ones that are sinning are the ones who look at your wife lustfully. My daughter did something similar years ago, and when I confronted her, she told me that it was not her problem, but the guy’s problem. Maybe your wife is not even aware of what she is doing and how men are wired? This is what I suggest you do:
- Pray about it. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Talk to your wife about it.
- If your wife does not like what you say, after telling her how you feel, offer her to buy her some new clothes, and give her an explanation of how men I wired to be visually stimulated which is different than how women are stimulated.
- If your wife still does not like what you say, do not make an argument out of it, but rather bring it to your pastor as a concern for your marriage.
Remember you are a man in your house, but be sure you are a gentleman in all circumstances and when dealing with this potential delicate subject. I hope what I have shared with you will help you and your wife!
May God bless you and your marriage and that your wife has ears to hear, and also she understands that you love her, and you want the best for her and your marriage!
Do you provide any online or over the phone counseling? I could really use some, and so could my husband, separately.
I do not do extended online or over the phone counseling myself, even though I do answer some questions when people write to me. I am a Christian that offers advice to those who inquire with the wisdom from God’s word the Bible and my personal life experiences of 58 years, although I am not a counselor who digs deep down with extended visitations.
I would encourage you to contact https://krisreece.com/christian-counseling.
Here are some very encouraging videos by Kris Reece
Also here are some excellent pages from my website that can also be of help to you both
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you is helpful to you and your husband. I pray that your marriage strengthens and you can love one another like you did before you were married. Do not give up on your marriage as so many others do. God hates divorce.
Make sure you pray each day about it in your time with God. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
God bless you both,
I don’t know how to start. I don’t know why I am doing this either. In all retrospect, this seems like a stupid idea, and that is coming from me a 13-year-old girl who in the entirety of my life has made multiple stupid choices. I believe that I am sending this because I just want someone to listen. I believe I am doing this also for forgiveness and not just from God. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned, that’s what people do when they sin right, they confess, they beg for forgiveness of a person whom they don’t even know exists (please don’t get me wrong, I was raised by a Catholic mother, so of course I believe in God).
So allow me to confess, I have committed 7 things the commandments have said not to do, I have lied constantly, manipulated, tricked many people even those closest to me. I have thought about suicide. I have thought of many things. Growing up my mother abused me, I sometimes as a child prayed for her, but now it seems they pray for me.
My mother believes that my family is punished by God for our sins due to the fact of my father lost his job, my sister almost lost her vision, me possibly repeating school, etc. She took me one time to church to talk to God, and I had no idea of what to say, sometimes I do believe that it is a punishment from God for my sins, I feel corrupted somehow, compelled to learn about evil( ex. I have been for the past 4 or 5 years been very obsessed to learn and read about demons, but I don’t because I’m too scared to). I feel depression from within. I feel trapped only able to accept the choice already made for me. I believe that is why I doubt Catholicism.
It only shows one side of the story (God’s side) and not satans side of the story. We don’t know what truly happened. We can only believe that it is true. I can’t help but doubt if a God was so forgiving why do people go to hell. I can’t help but doubt, please forgive me, but whenever I was in trouble I turned to God, so why should I not turn to him now. Father help me, for I think I am damned.
– Honorine Perera
I am glad you reached out to share what is going on in your life. Since you believe in God, and loves you, you are not dammed. You have merely taken the wide road offered by the world and the devil, but you still have time to get on the narrow road which leads to life.
First of all, I encourage you to take time right now to pray to God, and He has not turned His back on you, it is us who turn our back on Him. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Next, I encourage you to do what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
It sounds like you have a lot on your heart and mind that you are dealing with. I understand what you are saying about the Catholic church. You might want to find a protestant Bible-believing church to attend if possible. If not since you are so young, I encourage you to check out our website and watch some good Christian videos and check out the many pages on different topics that we have. Needencouragement.com/false-religions
I pray for you right now that you can ask God to give you wisdom and direction in your life. I pray that you do not become overwhelmed with too many things all at the same time. Walk with the Lord, read your Bible, and begin a close relationship with Him. You are not alone, God is with you (Emanuel), and He will put the right people in your path to accomplish His will in your life!