Divorce has gotten out of control…Are youhealing from a divorce right n
Unfortunately, some of you who did or did not want a divorce like me, might be wondering what we ought to look forward to in life not being married any longer? Going through a divorce that I did not want. It was evident that our marriage was going through some major testing times. I’m sure you can understand and relate?
As a Christian man, divorce was not an option for me and I thought my ex-wife too, by how she discussed things before we got married, but apparently, things change. I went through a divorce that I did not want, it was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life, way harder than even thedeath of my own mother who I loved dearly.
Learn some tips on how to begin healing from divorce. Divorce is the ripping apart of one flesh into two! Through my experience, divorce is one of the most painful things a person can go through. You must consciously make an effort to heal from a divorce, or you will not recover from it fully.
A very simplistic formula to consider when you heal from a divorce, you need to get closer to God, be aware of your health, Because you had a divorce, life is not over, but it just has taken an extremely painful detour. Learn how to start healing from a divorce by practicing forgivenessof your spouse at some point needs to be a part of the recovery! ~ Bill Greguska
Healing From Divorce After Finding Real Hope!
Learn How To Discover The New Normal
During that time, I spend most of my time with people in my Bible study, and a few others. I did go on 2 “so-called” dates, but there was not much of a spark or mutual interest that was probably better since I knew I was not ready for something potentially dangerous recently getting over a divorce. There have been times I have been alone yet not lonely, and other times the loneliness can hurt. I have learned to lean on God for His comfort and also a few friends. Life goes on, and you need to learn what your new normal will be, you have input into what your new normal will be by taking, this time, to evaluate and ask God for His guidance.
Of course, you have a mind of your own, but what I am saying is wisdom not to jump into a new set of problems, this is an excellent time to rediscover God into your life, and also to rekindle old friendships and also make new healthy friendships. Set out to discover that there is life after divorce once you learn how to heal from a divorce.
“Divorce is open-heart surgery, emotionally. Some people are not willing to give it enough time, and their expectations for recovery are too fast. When you get up and go quicker than you’re supposed to, and you push your healing cycle too quickly, you have to do it over again, and you get a relapse.” Steve Grissom and Kathy Leonard.
Healing From Divorce Will Take Some Help!
A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you. ~ Margaret Atwood
Psalm 6:2 Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
Divorce Hurts Everyone, And It Is The Very Last Option!
Your marriage is worth the effort to try to rebuild. In our society people go through because of many reasons, financial, emotional, unfaithfulness, lack of love or respect, just to name a few.
If you are in a struggling marriage, go to God in prayer for help. Examine your part in the situation and work on that, rather than pointing a finger at your spouse.
If you are single, take your time to make sure you are ready for marriage and that you and your partner take marriage very seriously for life. Hebrews 13:4
Don’t say I do, if you mean I hope so, yes of course in time people do change, and sometimes for the worst, but that is when real love needs to apply. Obviously, there are situations of abandonment, unfaithfulness come into play, but that still doesn’t mean one is obligated to divorce their partner, but it is an option.
If you are married, treat your spouse the way you did when you were dating and don’t take your spouse for granted. If you do not work at your marriage, it opens a door for Satan to do damage.
Marriage is a two-way street, and there are times when a partner does not care any longer to work on the marriage. God permitted divorce “Because of the hardness of their hearts.” People then and now need to be willing to work through the hard times and find healing from divorce.
The pain and scars may fade in time, but it will always be there to some degree deep down inside, divorce is not something to jump into out of anger or hurt. You must make an effort to learn how to heal from divorce, or you will have even more problems on your hands.
How To Start Healing From A Divorce?
Divorce is not recommended or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce should only be viewed as a very, very last resort as a form of the safety of either of the spouses. Prevent separation as far as you are possible as you can within your power and with God’s strength and wisdom!
It is extremely dangerous to go beyond what the Bible says 1 Corinthians 4:6. The most common other grounds for divorce that people try to exercise are spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), addiction to pornography, drug/alcohol use, crime/imprisonment, and irresponsible use of money (such as a gambling addiction). Many people do get divorced upon these grounds, yet it is not recommended to do so upon any of these discoveries. Rather talking and counseling and prayer need first to be called upon.
Try to understand that by saying the above are not biblical grounds for divorce; we are certainly not saying that a man/woman whose spouse is practicing such activities should stay in the situation. If there is any risk to self or children, separation is a good and the right steps, and potentially down the road divorce, if all else fails. For the sake of the children, avoiding a divorce can be a real motivation, yet the parents must seek help for themselves.
Bottom line, what are the biblical grounds for divorce? The answer is sexual immorality and abandonment. But are there more reasons for divorce beyond these two? Possibly. Is divorce ever to be treated lightly or used as the first recourse? God is capable of healing and renewing any marriage no matter how complicated things have gotten. Always prevent divorce if you can, because divorce should only occur in cases of repeated and unrepentant heinous sin.
Healing From Divorce is Something to Look Forward to!
An excellent resource to use is called DivorceCare.org; they will help you heal and get your life back.
No matter what your situation is concerning your divorce, the answer to the question, “Is there life after divorce?” A simple response to this issue is, “YES” but that is not without any scares or sometimes life-long damage involved. One of the first things to do is get closer to God and maintain friendships with those you love and love you, and are out for your best interest. The second point to keep in mind is not to rush into a new dating relationship right to try to fill the void; that is only asking for big trouble.
I have compared death to a divorce, and I at age 56, I experienced one divorce and a few real immediate deaths in my life including my mother, a couple of best friends and other family members like my dad. All the deaths in my life were not as bad as the divorce that I went through. The reason being is the hurt and bad feelings that are connected to a divorce, not to mention the splitting of the mutual friends and back-biting of the others spouses family and friends who took sides with the husband or wife that they were dearest to. Contrary to death, divorced people are still around which can be haunting in a current type of way.
Is Healing From Divorce Quick And Easy?
The quick answer is no, BUT with God’s help and support of other believers, it won’t be as hard as you may think. God loves each one of us, and his compassion for us is overwhelming. Yes, God hates divorce, but he loves us and knows our needs of a companion to and if it is his well, He will prepare us the right person if we are patient to wait on the Lord. Keep in mind that there needs to be a grieving time and healing time. I would say my grieving timewas almost five years, and my healing time was an additional five more years. I was married nearly ten years and even though the marriage was difficult for both of us; there needed to be time for me to get over it.
Each of us heals and grieve at different speeds, but a rule of thumb to consider is for dating again is to at least wait 1-3 years (per years of marriage) so you can get over your divorce. It is hard enough not to bring into your new relationship baggage that will only make things harder, but if you did get serious with your new partner, the chances are it would be possible to sexual attraction. You need to keep an open palm and allow the Lord to put into your palm the right person into your life, not just anyone to fill the void of loneliness.
So the answer to the question, can you heal from a divorce? The answer is without a doubt is YES! The second question is how long will it take, that depends on how long you were married and other variables. Just remember that yes you can heal from a divorce, although it depends on how you deal with your feelings and thoughts. Stay close to godly people and be sure to get some emotional support from a pastor, counselor, support group, or even a close friend that you can trust.
Please contact us if you have any questions or comments or would just like some encouragement?
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~ M. Kathleen Casey
Psalm 30:2 Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.