Are You A Lover Or Hater?
We all have the same choice in our life to choose to be a lover or hater. I have done both in my life, but I will rather be a lover than a hater any day of the week. ~ Bill Greguska
God Commands Us To Love One Another!
Choose To Be A Lover Or Hater?
- John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.”
- Matthew 5:22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Stop Hating Everybody By Simply:
- Try to assume the best about others instead of the worst. You may tend to hate everybody is because you believe that everyone around you is out to hurt or bother you in some way or another. Learn to stop looking at others as a nuisance or a threat and learn to cherish the good people around you and to see that they can improve your life if you trust them and let them into your life a little more.
- Not everyone in the world is going to make your life better. However, if you give people a chance, you’ll see that they’re not as bad as you imagined. Practice assuming that anyone who talks to you has the best intentions, not the worst within reason. If your coworker or someone asks you to grab a cup of coffee, assume that the person wants to be your friend, not that the person has some ulterior motive like wanting something from you, or needing a favor.
- Learn to chit-chat with people. Learn to find joy in having a conversation and connecting with another person instead of looking at everyone who talks to you as someone who’s either wasting your time or wants something. Keep in mind that when you smile and are friendly, it demonstrates to people that you’re open to conversation, and they’ll be more likely, to be transparent with you. There’s nothing wrong with small talk. It’s what leads you to build deeper relationships and to get to know people more intimately down the road.
God Commands Us To Love Eachother, But We Need To Hate Sin!
To Learn To Stop Hating Is Not That Difficult With Love!
- Give others compliments. Make a habit of giving at least one or two compliments a day to an acquaintance or a perfect stranger to show that you care and help you to look for the good in people. A random compliment you give to a person can make that person’s day. Maybe it might be the only positive interaction that a person has all day, and it so easy to do.
- Open yourself up to people. You may find that, if you open up to the people around you a bit, you’ll be likely to find understanding, compassion, and friendship. This will make you much less likely to have negative feelings about people. You don’t need to be entirely transparent to the first person you see. However, if you slowly open up to your acquaintances, then those relationships may lead to friendships. If you talk to people more openly, you’ll see that you’re not as different as you thought. As you speak with people, make sure to ask them questions about themselves.
Thinking Outside The Box!
- Think of all the ways that people can help you. An additional way to stop hating certain people is to realize that most of the people around you can be viewed as a resource of help. Your older brother can help you fix your car, your teacher can help you understand math, and your mom can help you learn how to make Italian Biscotti cookies. If you look for the potential of helping others and how others can help you, you will be on your way! Ask yourself, would I rather be a lover or hater?
How To Stop Hating A Particular Person
- Let your feelings off your chest. If you want to stop hating a particular person in your life, whether it’s an ex-friend or someone who irritates you, it’s essential to be open and honest about how you feel before you can get rid of those negative feelings.
- Take your situation to God in prayer. You can also talk to a close friend or even a counselor about it, write your feelings down, or just make sure that you’re open and honest about why you dislike that person; you may find that the person hasn’t actually done anything wrong, or that the real reason why you feel badly about the person isn’t what you expected. If you deny your feelings about the person, then you’ll never really be able to deal with your feelings. The sooner you in a controlled way, get your feelings off your chest, the sooner you’ll feel better.
- Talk to the person if you think it will help. If the person you want to stop hating was once your friend or significant other and you feel that having a constructive conversation can help you feel better, then you should pick the place and time to talk to that person. You may feel a sense of greater understanding, closure, or even relief at being able to express your feelings and hearing the other person share their feelings. Though this may not be the most pleasant conversation, it can save you from months of stewing and dwelling in negative emotions.
- Be very open and honest about your feelings. Don’t hold back, as long as you don’t insult the person or stir up more drama. You’ll feel better about letting those feelings go. If the other person is unwilling to talk to you, then there’s no point in forcing it. You’ll only end up feeling more frustrated if the person won’t speak to you. If the choice is given to you, to be a lover or hater, always try to be a lover.
- Learn to forgive. People who tend to hate often spend much of their time feeling angry or bitter about how people have harmed them or have done them wrong, but if you tend to hold a grudge and never really accept apologies or hear people out when they’ve made a mistake, then you’ll never be able to move past the hate that is holding you back in life. Try to see things through another person’s eyes. See if you can see where the person who hurt you is coming from. Be sure you carefully listen to the person who apologizes to you. What they share might be helpful for you in the future.
To Stop Hating, You Must Be Real And Genuine
- Do not gossip about the person you have ill feelings about. Though you may think that spreading your hatred toward a particular person can help you get over the situation, doing so will make you feel worse about the whole situation. Other people may reinforce your negative feelings, and you’ll only feel more justified in hating that person; plus, talking about how much you hate the person will get you worked up and even more filled with hatred.
- Although if you’re in a situation with the person and you genuinely need advice, then you can talk to someone else about it. But if you want to complain, gossip, and make the situation worse, then that definitely won’t stop you from hating, Then if the person hears that you’re gossiping about him or her, then he or she is likely to gossip back, and that will only fuel the cycle of hatred. It would be better to set some boundaries with the person instead.
- Focus on the people you genuinely love. One way to try to turn your attention away from the person you can’t stand is to spend more time with the people you do care about. Even if you’re the kind of person who hates almost everyone, there must be at least one or two people in your life whom you genuinely like. Make an effort to spend more time with those people and to think about all of the happiness that they bring to your life; this will help you forget or get over the person you hate much faster than if you spend time by yourself. Avoid focusing on those people and things that get you down.
Look At The Bright Side Of Things!
- Turn the page on to something that makes you happy. One way to stop hating a specific person is to focus on something good in your life instead. This can be hanging out with your other friends, working out, baking, reading for pleasure, hiking, or doing whatever it is that makes you smile. Though it can be hard to entirely distract yourself when you hate somebody (or should I say hate what they did or said), just making an effort to go through the motions and throw yourself into something else can be far more effective than sitting there and stewing.
- Understand that it may take time. Be prepared to give it a while before you genuinely stop hating the person you hate. You’ll likely have to take some time to process and accept whatever happened before moving on entirely. Don’t be frustrated with yourself if it takes some time to walk by the person before feeling like you’re filled with hatred or even anger or rage. It’s perfectly natural.
- If you do have to see the person regularly, like in class, then you should work on either kindly ignoring the person or being as cordial as you can. I would not allow this to linger on, instead forgive and forget and move forward. Keep in mind that God’s word says Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Remember that you always have a choice to be a lover or hater.
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