Avoid Bad Counseling!Avoid bad counseling at all cost! NeedEncouragement.com

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I have been very fortunate to have had good counseling over the years, yet I had a couple of bad experiences with a Christian counselor in West Allis who was way out of line with me. I was going through a separation and possible divorce, and this guy was brutally and downright mean to me. It got to the point that. I was feeling physically ill, and I told him that, but he relentlessly kept pushing and pushing me even when I told him to stop. I think a counselor’s ego can take over, and they believe they are God.  I do not mind stating that I am wrong when I am wrong, but a good counselor can respect the client’s feelings enough to know when to back off, at least temporarily. In the past 17 years, this happened a couple of times to me, so my warning is to make sure you get a good reference from someone you know and trust about the possible counselor you will be working with. Do not get me wrong; there are many wonderful counselors available. We all need someone to share thoughts and feelings we are unsure how to deal with. A Christian counselor is fantastic for helping you see things more clearly and reason things out with you! ~ Bill Greguska


Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.





Bad Counseling Exposed!


Avoid Bad Counseling From Good Intended People!

When I was going through my divorce, a Christian from church volunteered to come to my house to talk with me. It turned out that he spoke so much and did not understand the hurt and pain that I was experiencing. All he wanted to do was quote scriptures at me over and over relentlessly. Unfortunately, I had to ask him to leave my house. This bad experience taught me that when people seek counsel, they need to be heard—and directed after being listened to. People can mean well but do more harm than good. Be careful who you allow to counsel you. Avoid bad counseling at all costs! Let the Lord be your direct line of counsel. Allow the Lord to put the right people in your life to help you. ~ Bill Greguska


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Mistake #1: Bad Counseling Is Giving Advice Without Truly Listening

One of the biggest mistakes Christians (and others) make to give quick counsel or advice without carefully listening. When we listen, people trust us more, and we can provide better information and advice.
  • My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)


  • The first to present his case seems right till another comes forward and questions him. (Proverbs 18:17)




Mistake #2: Bad Counseling Is Displaying A Judgmental Spirit

The person with whom you speak, mentor, or counsel may have sinned in almost unthinkable ways or made severe mistakes. However, if you tell them that you are in judgment of them, they are unlikely to benefit from your advice when they seek counsel from you.
Please be sure to show concern for people who have sinned. Reflect on your own life before you knew the Lord. They should sense that you care, not that you condemn.
  • For this reason, he had to be made like his brothers to become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God and make atonement for the people’s sins. Because he suffered when he was tempted, he could help those tempted. (Hebrews 2:18)


  • For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)




Mistake #3: Bad Counseling Is Talking Too Much

Has someone ever given you a long speech about your mistakes? If so, you probably tuned out partway through. Speeches rarely work! People seek counsel, not a lecture.
When you get people involved in a discussion, they are more likely to change. Remember to ask questions. It’s often helpful to ask people what is on their minds instead of turning them off with your sermon.



Mistake #4: Bad Counseling Is Giving Worldly Advice

It’s easy to give “worldly” advice, for it is all around us on talk radio, television shows, self-help books, Etc.
  • See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. (Colossians 2:8)


  • All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:17)


  • For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)




Mistake #5: Bad Counseling Is Not Suggesting Homework

Help others choose something to do as “homework.” People are much more likely to change if they plan to follow up by studying something or doing some activity related to what they have discussed. People seek counsel and have certain expectations.
Homework is most likely to be completed if it is mutually agreed on. Try to come up with something that seems reasonable to the person you are counseling or advising.


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