Do You Have a Fear of Death?
Some people talk about having no fear of death. People told me that they wanted to die in their sleep without pain. That sounds peaceful, but no matter how my life ends, I know that I will be in heaven because of the personal relationship I have had with Jesus Christ, not because of any good that I have done, but what Jesus has already done. Can you say the same? If you not sure, click here.
My first experience with a death of someone close to me was my best friend Steve Mader, I was 16 years old, and it his death hit me very hard. So hard that it lead me to find so-called comfort in alcohol and drugs. Looking back now, I if I would have reached out to someone to talk thing out, it might not have been so traumatic of an experience that his death brought me.
The death of my mother Diana Greguska was another hard death to deal with. But with my mom, she lived to be 93, and I had the opportunity to take care of her for the last eight years of her life since she helped me my entire life! You can read more about my mom in a diary that I wrote in honor of her life. ~ Bill Greguska
Caring Things you Can Say to Comfort Someone!
- “I’m sorry for your loss.”
- “You are in my thoughts/I’m thinking of you.”
- “He/she was a wonderful person.”
- “I will miss him/her.”
- “This must be so hard for you.”
- “I love you.”
- “When you’re ready, I’d like to get together to learn more about what the person who died was like.”
Why Will Others Cry at The Time of Your Death?
I have no fear of death. More important, I don’t fear life. ~ Steven Seagal
Hebrews 2:14-15 Since the children, have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.
Related Pages of Encouragement:
A Special Link For a Little Extra Encouragement
Do You Know What Happens When You Die?
Why Do Christians Grieve if There is No Fear of Death?
Since Christians Have No Fear of Death Should We Grieve?
The Death of My Mom~
Diana Greguska-Busalacchi in honor of her life!
I learned that people’s reaction to the fear of death is not the same in every situation.
I took care of my mom the last eight years of her life, so in a way, it seemed that I was grieving while she was still alive. I knew she could not live forever here on earth, so in knowing that I was kind of preparing ahead of time.
Even though mom had medical issues such as diabetes, asthma, heart condition. She still was very alert mentally, and she managed to get around physically despite some pains in her knees and with her breathing. Mom had no real fear of death, I think partly because she was in physical pain for many years but still could enjoy her life. Isaiah 46:4
The main reason that I have mentioned all of this is that each death may be similar, but at the same time so very different in how those who are left behind deal with their emotions of the loss. Here are some of my notes that I jotted down just after my mother said her last goodbye on the phone on the afternoon of December 31, 2014. ~ Bill Greguska
December 31, 2014
My mom just died without much warning last night at about 7:30 pm in the hospital where my cousin Erica and Mike were with me. I was very, very close to my mom my entire life; I took care of her the last eight years of her life. It is just over 24 hours ago now, and it still has not hit me that she is dead. That is why I say how people react to death are not the same in every situation.
I loved my mother very much so it weird that this loss has not hit me hard yet. When I saw her in the hospital, I seemed to be in denial of her death, and I think I am still in denial. When I was walking down the hallway in the hospital to her room, a wave came over me, and I started to whimper a couple of times because I knew her time might be near. She was 93 years old, and she had a zest for life a very strong-minded yet loving mother. She had an excellent sense of humor that was very contagious which were a few things I loved about her. Galatians 5:22-24
Bottom line there is no one special way to react to a death of a loved one, so if this is the case with you, be kind to yourself and stay connected with people like I am with my cousins and some friends. I am sure the feelings of the loss of my mom are probably going to be with me forever. Mom and I were so very close my entire life. She was there for me when I needed her through my hard times in life, and I was there for her needs in her last years. I will update this story as time goes on. ~ Bill Greguska
January 2, 2015
My sister Pat and I went to the funeral home to make all the arrangements. I still am not feeling too good because of my cold, but doing 40% better sure helps. During our planning and talking, I told Jeff, the funeral home director that my mom and I sang a song together each night for about the last eight years now as I put her to sleep each night. The song was a Laurence Welch song that sang at the end of each Lawrence Welch show mom always used to love to watch. Then in the office of the funeral director, I started to sing that song I always used to sing at night with my mom, but this time to my sister Pat and Jeff, the director, then suddenly the floodgates opened up, and I began to sob very hard. I stopped then a few moments later I started up again which was I believe was the way God intended it for me. All those 32 hours without a tear, I think God was carrying me like the footprints in the sand. ~ Bill Greguska
January 7, 2015
Today was the last step in putting my mom to rest. The tears the past few days have flowed in waves of sadness. My sister Pat and I and cousin Joe all had a short service with the Dan, funeral director. I noticed that when we said the Our Father it brought me to tears because the was the prayer mom and I said each night before bed. I was surprisingly stronger than I figured that I might be having to say goodbye to mom for the last time in person. I put in the coffin one of my business cards that she helped me design for NeedEncouragement.com. I took my sister out to eat lunch at Andreas Restaurant, and then we went to mom’s house and wrote out many thank you cards to those who helped us the last few days and years.
It is hard to believe she is gone. The house is so much quieter compared to when she was still alive. Looking back my mom never talked about a fear of death, and I did speak to her about heaven and what God wanted us to do to be with him. She loved to read Bible verses with me which I enjoyed doing with her. Now I am going to open a new chapter in my life, after the one I never got too close which was the divorce in 2007 that was also very devastating to me. The thing with my mom’s funeral, I got to remember so many good memories compared to the divorce where most things were negative and painful in a different way. I think I handled the loss of my mom in a pretty good way considering she was by best friend. I got much help from Pastor Mark Mallwitz, Ron and Sue Sauer and their mom, cousin Mike and Erica, my sister Pat, Kevin Reddy, and the rest of my friends and relatives who all encouraged and comforted me with emails, phone calls, cards, and most important prayers. ~ Bill Greguska
March 23, 2015
It has been a couple of months now since my mom has passed away. Since she lived with me, the house now is much quieter and empty. Not a scary empty, but an empty with peace knowing I did everything I could do to keep her out of a nursing home that was one of her biggest fears, and a personal wish that she made of me years ago which I was determined to keep.
It is hard to deal with the death of my mom and all the emotions and feeling that go with it. On the other hand, I no longer after eight years need to take care of her medication, blood pressure readings, insulin testings, exercises, cooking for her, cleaning up, driving her to many appointments plus church, out to eat, movies, walks to Mc Donalds, etc. I enjoyed taking care of my mom (and my dad when he was alive) One thing that always kept me going when things got a little difficult managing all I had to do to take care of her, was the scripture about honoring my mother and father Ephesians 6:2-3. I would like to share a video about three reasons my mom reminds me of Jesus.
God provided help from an organization called Visiting Angels, and another group called At Home Loving Care, without these ladies to help me, I would not have been able to go to my part-time job or work out to take care of myself, or anything else social for that matter. Last two years I got 2-4 hours of help which was enough to get out a little. Mom could be home alone for no more than an about an hour since she had her TV to watch her Brewers games and talk shows like Steve Harvey and Ellen.
We had an excellent group of gals that helped out with mom for a couple of hours at a time. Marva was a gal that I found through a mutual friend Jeanie. Mechelle was another one of my mom’s favorite gals. All the ladies were very helpful to us, to keep mom out of a nursing home at her age; these women were a significant help to accomplish that goal that my mom and I had set up many years ago.
Now I have been busy going through the house sorting things to keep and give away. I have looked through pictures and cards that were a beautiful reminder of how full of life she had in the past 93 years. I feel a sense of peace, but at the same time, a loneliness that I am sure will subside in time, but will always be there to a degree.
I can sense the feeling that mom is not here anymore, although I am so very thankful that I made a voice picture recording of mom saying something she always told me, “You’re a good son.” That recording is one of my most prized memory of my mom. (you might want to do the same with your elderly parents or loved ones). I hear moms voice every night when I turn off the living room lights which activates her voice recording! A beautiful reminder of mom before I go to sleep.
Pastor Ron Sauer told me on the phone that God knew my mom well before I did, and God wanted to take her home, so in understanding that, I feel that I can let go and just hold on to all the priceless memories. Death the last goodbye to my mother earlier on the phone her last day. Here last words to me were the words she always said to me on the phone after we talked that afternoon that were, “I Love you!” John 13:34-35 ~ Bill Greguska
May 31, 2015
Mom passed away five months ago now, and life is starting to settle a little bit. I am living in the house that she and my dad had built-in 1959, the year before I was born. She put it in her will that I could live here as long as I wanted, with the only condition is that I would take care of the taxes, play the utilities, and the upkeep.
There is not a day that goes by without thinking of her; it is hard since I took care of her the past eight years taking care of mainly all her needs. Those who knew her from Elmbrook Church and other places always remind me how amazing a lady she was, and that is so accurate. She treated me better than I probably deserved always. That made my sisters a little jealous which I can understand.
Mom did not really have a fear of death, but she did have a zeal for living. She was always thinking and making plans, you could say that dust never settled on her. She raised 4 kids, worked full time, helped my dad in the fur business and also she worked with dad at Universal Foods Red Star Yeast for about 20 years.
Mom was so always so good to me that she wished to stay out of any nursing home was my goal that with Gods help was achieved. There is something special about a mother and their son, especially because I was the youngest, I am Italian, and I just got along with and loved my mom so much. I love hearing her say on her talking photo each night when the lights go out, and it says, “You’re a good son.” I miss mom and hearing her voice is comforting even though it is only a recording.
July 25, 2015
My mom and dad’s anniversary was on July 21, 1945. They would have remained married for 70 years, but my dad died on October 1, 1995. Time goes on without those who we love. I miss my mom and my dad too. My dad was a very kind patient man who was also a big influence on my life regarding working and common sense. I have reminders of both of them, and especially her life with me each day since I live in the house that she and my dad built. It is kind of sad knowing that I will never see mom or dad here on earth again, yet some day when I die, I will see them again in heaven. There is a time to live and a time to die. Mom’s time was up, and the Lord even gave her some extra innings since she lived to be 93 years old. A lot of my ways that I do things or think are because of the direct influence on mom’s life and how she raised me. I look forward to the day I hear her voice in heaven saying to me, “You’re a good son.” Instead of hearing it on the talking photo each night before the lights go out. ~ Bill Greguska
September 4, 2015
The months are flying by, although I think about my mom every day in some way or another. I still thank God that He put it in my mind to record mom’s voice that I hear every night when I turn the lights off in the living room. Mom has truly made an impact on my life, and she will never be forgotten. Some of her strong points that made her who she was, is the way she was strong yet loving, wise yet open for new ideas, she loved to laugh, but I only got to see her cry a couple of times, loyalty was a high priority and getting family together was another top priority. Mom was the center of our family that kept us all together. ~ Bill Greguska
January 11, 2016
It was mom one year anniversary of her death; I am sure she is in heaven even though she gave me a hard time when I talked to her about the Bible and her need to confess with her mouth and believe in her heart that she would then be saved. Being Catholic for 93 years made it hard for her to accept the Protestant way that I was sharing her salvation with her. Bottom line, I know my mom’s heart and love for the Lord to know that she now is in heaven. I look forward to being with her whenever the Lord takes me. Things have settled down in my life, and I still do miss mom! Each night I hear my mom on one of the most valuable things she gave me which is a photo recorder that she recorded her voice saying, “You’re a good son.” ~ Bill Greguska
April 16, 2016
It has been over one year now since mom passed away, but it seems like not a day goes by without thinking of her or talking about her to someone who used to know her. There are so many stories that I can recall about what mom said or did, or what she cooked or accomplished in some way or another. I missed her Italian Biscotti this past Christmas which was one of our Christmas traditions she and I did each year since I was a little boy. Here is the recipe in memory of my mom.
2 cups of butter (1lb)
5 ½ cups of sugar (cream butter and add together).
In another large bowl measure
9 cups of flour
6 teaspoons of baking powder
3 teaspoons of salt
(Sift together dry ingredient very well)
Add 12 eggs, one at a time, into dry mixture alternately until moist, and then add more dry mixture until all used. Add one teaspoon anise extract and 4 teaspoons of vanilla. Then add 1 lb of roasted almonds, mix very thoroughly by hand. Cover everything with a plastic bag and store in refrigerator overnight.
Next day, put flour on the breadboard, take a hand full of the dough and roll by hand it into the shape of a 16×3 inch long roll. Turn oven on to 350 degrees and grease 3 cookie sheets. (Bake two rolls on each cookie sheet at a time) After they are baked, place them on a cooling rack. Slice them diagonally carefully, while warm, about 1 inch wide. Cool thoroughly and put into gigantic popcorn tin lined with a plastic bag. ~ Bill Greguska
July 21, 2016
Today would have been my mom and dad’s 71st anniversary if they were both still alive. In a way, they both are still alive to me, I think and talk about them both, a little more my mom, but my dad too since he taught me a lot about work and tried to instill the value of integrity in me.
Each night before I go to bed, I turn off the lights in the living room that automatically starts up my mom’s photo machine, so I hear her say every night to me, “Your a Good son.” When I hear her voice, and the lights are out, it is almost like she is right there with me for a brief second…
It has been a year and a half now, but to me, she still is alive by the way she taught me certain things around the kitchen with cooking and baking, I will never forget the joyful laugh she had which was always so contagious. I do miss taking care of her. ~ Bill Greguska
September 23, 2016
It will be two years now that my mom has passed away. I think about her often, yet I have learned a new normal now without her. She was my best friend because of how much she loved me and watched out for me. The last eight years of her life I was given a chance to so-called pay her back for all the good she did for me when I was growing up. By no means I am saying that she was perfect, only Jesus Christ is perfect, but I am saying without a doubt or hesitation, she would have done anything for me and my brother Tom and my sisters Pat and Gerri, yet I always knew that I was special to her by the way she treated me.
That has something to do with how I kept her out of a nursing home which she genuinely feared. I know that other kids that love their mom and dad in a similar way that I loved my mother and father, but I can only speak for myself, and know the truth that my mom was the greatest! She pushed me when I needed pushing, and she nurtured me when I needed nurturing, and she always loved me no matter what I got myself into. One of my fondest memories of my mom was her sense of humor! She always told me that either you can laugh about it, or else you will cry about it! ~ Bill Greguska
February 8, 2017
It is hard to believe it has been over 2 years now since mom died…I think of her often since she had made a very big impact on my life as both a child and as an adult. Mom lived a good life, and I am thankful that I could keep her home and not have to put her into a nursing home. Mom really wanted to stay home so that is what I did for her. Others were interested in putting her in a home, but since I loved my mom as I did, and she was always good to me while I was growing up, granting her wish was not something I had to do much thinking about at all. I thank God that I was wise enough to record her voice on a photo machine, so now at night when I turn off the lights, I get to hear her voice saying, “You’re a good son!”
Her passing away make me more aware that I will not be alive forever either. I have no fear of death because when God calls me I will be ready. In the meantime, I have more work to do, and more people to try to encourage. ~ Bill Greguska
Either Heaven or Hell, Do You Have a Fear of Death?
Both of my parents went to church every Sunday and were both great people. To me, that was excellent, but I knew that just going to church and being a good man, does not mean either one of them was going to heaven. I had many talks with both my parents before they died. I explained to then that they needed to confess with their mouth and believe in their heart that Jesus was their Lord and Saviour. Romans 10:9-13
Both of were Catholic that made it harder for them to understand the need to do what I asked them to do. I am grateful that they could both understand the Gospel and that they are now both in heaven together. Make sure you know where you are going when you die, also be sure to know where your loved ones are going too. There should be no fear of death. God wants nobody to be left behind when it comes to being with him in heaven, and that is why it is so important to share the Gospel with others!
You do not have a fear of death!
Pete Maravich talks about the fear of death of his dad!
One of the greatest gifts we can give people is the hope that their death is nothing to fear – you know, not that it has no fear of it, but the promise of scripture is that God will lead us through the valley of the shadow of death. ~Max Lucado
A Lighter Look, There Should Be No Fear of Death!
Please contact us if you have any questions or comments or would just like some encouragement?
This fear of death infused me with the desire to live and to live harder. ~ Josh Lucas