Forgive And Grow From Hurt Relationships?

Forgiveness is the best form of love!

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What About Reconciliation? It is a fact that God commands us to forgive but be wise because trust needs to be re-earned by the other person you have who has lost trust in so you can attempt reconciliation if possible. After all, it is a beautiful thing if possible, but God does not require it. We must be quick to forgive yet careful in our forgetting. Ultimately, we need to try to forgive and forget, yet learn from the situation and grow from it even though it may be hard to erase the memory. Yet, I have heard that when someone refuses to forgive, it is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Yet, in reality, the one who refuses to forgive is the one who will suffer the most, ultimately.

I encourage you to do all you can to keep the friendship alive, as far as it depends on you. There will be times, as in my life, when other people have no interest in forgiveness or reconciliation. For those times, it is best to do what my brother Tom Greguska told me to turn the page and begin a new chapter in your life. There will be arguments and disagreements in life, yet our job as Christians is to make peace, forgive, and grow from all hurtful situations we encounter.  ~ Bill Greguska

Matthew 6:15   But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.


How To Forgive When It Hurts?



Forgive And Grow, But Remember That Trust Needs To Be Regained!

  • Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning bad behavior. God commands us to forgive. It’s not optional. He is our example, and if He can ask His Heavenly Father to forgive those who nailed Him to the cross, we can learn to forgive with His help. There is absolutely nothing impossible to overlook with God’s help. We must work through the pain and grief of really traumatic events. Forgiving does not sweep something aside and pretend it didn’t happen. That will only come back to haunt you later.




Learning How To Forgive!

We do or say things to offend one another from time to time.
  1. When I find myself in that place, I attempt to go to the person I hurt and humbly apologize for what I did or said. I would say, “I was wrong for ______; please forgive me?”
  2. Other times, I and the other person both said or did the wrong things. In that case, I would say, “I am sorry for my part in this situation. Would you please forgive me? (I would not expect an apology in return, but if there is one, that would be great!
  3. In both examples, I confessed my sin, wrongdoing, destructive action, or words and then moved on with a clear conscience and hopefully amended relationship.
My brother Tom Greguska has taught me to turn the page and let go of the issue if I have done everything to make things right. In doing so, we free ourselves from the burden of resentment. At the same time, we have done all we can do on our side to offer peace. Remember, what is the greatest command?


What To Do When Someone Does You Wrong?

Facts About How To Forgive Others?

  • Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Some people are unrepentant. They may not feel like they have done anything wrong. Perhaps, they may be sorry for the moment, but you know the bad behavior will continue for whatever reason. God does not call us to be in abusive relationships. He does not call us to be doormats or to remain in toxic or unhealthy relationships.
  • Forgiveness is not easy; saying “I forgive” is easy, but genuinely forgiving takes prayer and faith and continually giving it over to God until it does not bother you any longer.  You know you have forgiven when you can think about the wrongdoing and not have it bother you any longer.



What Does The Bible Teach How To Forgive Someone? 

  1. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone what the person did or that you have to trust the person.
  2. Forgiveness is about getting your heart right with God. It is foremost about your relationship with God. 
  3. It frees you from a lifetime of bondage to a bitter and hardened heart. 
  4. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act. You’ll have to continue to choose forgiveness. 
  5. We forgive because God has forgiven us. We need to try to forgive and forget.
  6. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re letting the other person off the hook. It’s entrusting God to take care of the situation for you. 
  7. Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation.
  8. Reconciliation requires genuine repentance from the person who was wrong, and grace from the one offended.


Forgiveness Is For Your Sake Too…

  • It’s not for the person that wronged you. It is to set you free. It is so you are not held prisoner paying the price for someone else’s wrongdoing. Forgiving is for you and you alone.   Often the person who has hurt you feels nothing…no shame, guilt, or remorse.  The wrongdoer may have forgotten the event, but we can stay trapped in bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness for years. It can affect our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being while others are oblivious to our pain. Unforgiveness rarely harms the other person. Usually, we are the only victim of our unforgiveness.
  • Forgiveness is between you and God. You do not have to go to the other person. Forgiveness is you handing over the wrongdoing and the person who did it and saying, “Lord, I give this to you so you can deal with it. It is between you and them now so I can be free.”
  • Forgiveness does not mean that you “forget” the wrong you did to yourself. Forgiveness is like cleaning out a wound. If you don’t clean out an injury, it festers, hurts, and doesn’t heal properly. Once it is cleaned out, it can improve. Once healed, you will always have the scar, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.


Christians can set appropriate boundaries to protect ourselves and our families. Having limits that include distancing yourself from someone does not mean that we hate that person or have not forgiven them. We should always pray for that person, though. ~ Peg Gogonelis

How To Forgive And Grow From Our Hurts!

Some Specific Scriptures To Encourage You:

Matthew 6:14-15 ESV 

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV 

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

1 John 1:9 ESV 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Mark 11:25 ESV 

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Ephesians 4:32 ESV 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Luke 17:3-4 ESV

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Colossians 3:13 ESV

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Matthew 18:21-22 ESV 

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Matthew 6:9-13 ESV 

Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Matthew 6:14 ESV 

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,

Ephesians 1:7 ESV 

In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace,

Luke 6:37 ESV 

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;

1 John 1:8 ESV 

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Leviticus 19:18 ESV 

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

Acts 2:38 ESV

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

James 5:15 ESV

And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

Isaiah 43:25 ESV 

“I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.

Matthew 6:12 ESV 

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.


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