- Please contact us if you have any questions or comments or would like some encouragement.
What About Reconciliation? It is a fact that God commands us to forgive but be wise because trust needs to be re-earned by the other person who has lost trust in you as soon as you can. Reconciliation is wonderful if possible, but God does not require it. We must be quick to forgive yet careful in our forgetting. Ultimately, we need to try to forgive and forget, yet learn from the situation and grow from it even though it may be hard to erase the memory. ~ Bill Greguska
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
How To Forgive When It Hurts?
Forgive And Grow, But Remember That Trust Needs To Be Regained!
- Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning bad behavior. God commands us to forgive. It’s not optional. He is our example, and if He can ask His Heavenly Father to forgive those who nailed Him to a cross, we can learn to forgive with His help. There is absolutely nothing impossible to overlook with God’s help. We must work through the pain and grief of really traumatic events. Forgiving does not sweep something under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. That will only come back to haunt you later.
Learning How To Forgive!
- When I find myself in that place, I attempt to go to the person I hurt and humbly apologize for what I did or said. I would say, “I was wrong for ______; please forgive me?”
- Other times, I and the other person both said or did the wrong things. In that case, I would say, “I am sorry for my part in this situation. Would you please forgive me? (I would not expect an apology in return, but if there is one, that would be great!
- In both examples, I confessed my sin, wrongdoing, destructive action, or words and then moved on with a clear conscience and hopefully amended relationship.
What To Do When Someone Does You Wrong?
Facts About How To Forgive Others?
- Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Some people are unrepentant. They may not feel like they have done anything wrong. Perhaps, they may be sorry for the moment, but you know the bad behavior will continue for whatever reason. God does not call us to be in abusive relationships. He does not call us to be doormats or to remain in toxic or unhealthy relationships.
- Forgiveness is not easy; saying “I forgive” is easy, but genuinely forgiving takes prayer and faith and continually giving it over to God until it does not bother you any longer. You know you have forgiven when you can think about the wrongdoing and not have it bother you any longer.
- It’s not for the person that wronged you. It is to set you free. It is so you are not held prisoner paying the price for someone else’s wrongdoing. Forgiving is for you and you alone. Often the person who has hurt you feels nothing…no shame, guilt, or remorse. The wrongdoer may have forgotten the event, but we can stay trapped in bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness for years. It can affect our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being while others are oblivious to our pain. Unforgiveness rarely harms the other person. Usually, we are the only victim of our unforgiveness.
- Forgiveness is between you and God. You do not have to go to the other person. Forgiveness is you handing over the wrongdoing and the person who did it and saying, “Lord, I give this to you so you can deal with it. It is between you and them now so I can be free.”
- Forgiveness does not mean that you “forget” the wrong you did to yourself. Forgiveness is like cleaning out a wound. If you don’t clean out an injury, it festers, hurts, and doesn’t heal properly. Once it is cleaned out, it can improve. Once healed, you will always have the scar, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.
How To Forgive And Grow From Our Hurts!
What Does The Bible Teach How To Forgive Someone?
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone what the person did or that you have to trust the person.
- Forgiveness is about getting your heart right with God. It is foremost about your relationship with God.
- It frees you from a lifetime of bondage to a bitter and hardened heart.
- Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act. You’ll have to continue to choose forgiveness.
- We forgive because God has forgiven us. We need to try to forgive and forget.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re letting the other person off the hook. It’s entrusting God to take care of the situation for you.
- Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation.
- Reconciliation requires genuine repentance from the person who was wrong and grace from the one offended.
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