Honoring God Is Your First Priority When Dating!Dating takes time and energy and prayer! NeedEncouragement.com

Please contact us if you have any questions, comments, or encouragement.

Only God knows who “your partner” should be, and you should want only the “partner” that he has Handpicked for you. SO, to me, “being available for your partner” means first being available to God, to shape good character in your life, walking closely with Him, praying that God Who knows that person, will bless him/her with true faith and character qualities; looking around you at the numbers of people of the opposite sex; getting to spend time with them noting their conversation, reactions, core beliefs, interactions, conversations, the questions they ask, asking pertinent questions to them, noting the quality of their faith, desires, self-control, goal(s) in life, work habits, thoughts, humility, teach-ability, courage, conflict resolutions, fruit of the Spirit.. This is not “dating with a view towards marriage” but VERY necessary time before marriage is even considered: just YOU – enjoying being YOU with others whom God has brought across your path!  (continued below) ~ Sue Sauer

2 Corinthians 6:14  Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 

 

 

 

 

A Christian Movie About Getting To Know Someone!

 

 

Continued Thoughts By Sue Sauer About Dating And Marriage:

Thinking about marriage with anyone too soon is like opening the oven too many times with a cake cooking in the oven: it makes the temperature go down and the cake is likely to fall and be rubbery!! The best thing is to keep the conversation going with your Loving, Living Heavenly Father, keeping equal open palms before Him: “Lord, I’d really like to be married to a Godly person to serve You together, but I am holding an equally open palm about being single to serve You as a single person the rest of my life! (That is surrender the Lord responds to) You make it plain. I am YOURS.” The FOCUS makes all the difference. In those days, I earnestly added, “Lord, You know what a person is going to turn out like.

Just PLEASE don’t give me to someone who is going to quit halfway. I fully expect to finish well, and I want to finish neck-in-neck with the person You give me to, and hear Your ‘Well Done.’ The FOCUS on the LORD God makes the child of God less likely to fall into temptation and snares of the sinful nature, more sensitive to the promptings of the HOLY Spirit; more aware of being a compass to point a brother/sister to Him, so that at the end of the time together when parted, you can think back and consider this thought, “Am I closer to the Lord because of time with him/her? Is he/she possibly closer to the Lord because of time spent with me?” ~ Sue Sauer

 

 

 

My Thoughts About Dating

When dating, make sure you take your time and get to know your partner, ideally for a year or more, before committing to marriage! When I was dating, my first hope was to find someone who was a Christian; we would get along with well (like a best friend, as my sister Pat used to tell me about her husband, Gary). Someone who could be a teammate, honest, and had a sense so humor would be like-minded and respectful.

All the good qualities you are looking for, you may or may not find. Hopefully, you will find almost all of them, and the other ones can be discussed during dating. Keep in mind that there is no place for sex outside of marriage. If you are not ready to date for some reason, maybe recently divorced, or have other issues, then be patient, honest, and pure while being friends with those of the opposite sex. But if you feel you are ready now, take it to God in prayer, and if He says yes, then get out there and let the Lord lead you, and you will not be disappointed for doing so in the long run. ~ Bill Greguska

 

 

Bob Marley Relationship Advice

“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. … Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

Relevant Bible verse 

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22

 

 

 

 

Specific Relationship Resource Links:

Accountability PartnerLove Or Lust
Better MarriageLove Your Enemies
Building Healthy RelationshipsMarriage Relationship
CommunicationMarriage Tips
DatingPeer Pressure
Dating AdvicePersonal Inventory
DivorcePrevent Divorce
Falling In LoveRelationship With Jesus
Friends Can HelpRelationships
FriendshipsRomantic Relationships
Get To Know OthersSex
Healing From DivorceSex Is Not A Sport
Healthy FriendshipsSex Outside Marriage
How To Be Kind?Talk With Someone
How To Forgive?Understand Others
Improve Your MarriageWhat Is Love?
LoveWisdom In Relationships

 

 

 

 

 

15 IMPORTANT THINGS BEFORE YOU GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP!

I encourage you to think before you enter your next relationship. Ask yourself a few questions and ask God to give you clear direction and plan. If you believe that a relationship will heal you, make you whole again, and make you happy, you better think about that. Happiness starts from within, not from others, although if you are whole in the first place, others can add to your joy in life. Please look at these ideas before venturing out to find the love of your life.

1. What Are Your Expectations For A Relationship?

If you desire to be in a relationship, ask yourself, what are your biggest motivations and hopes to have someone special? Remember that you are perfectly okay by yourself. A relationship is one of those bonuses of life. People enter into a relationship thinking they need it. With that thinking, your will risk becoming dependent on someone. This perpetuates dependency and a short-lived relationship. Your relationship is a beautiful addition to your already complete life. I believe God will bless you with the right partner as you seek to follow Him and pursue His plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

2. What Are You Looking For?

What are you looking for in a partner? Remember, you need to be flexible and have some ideas about what you want in your potential partner. Do you want to have kids down the road? Where do you want to live? Do your values match up? Do you want to travel? You may not be to think about these things now, but these questions will affect the long-term relationship. Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

3. What Is A Good Relationship Mean To You?

Remember that the honeymoon phase isn’t going to last forever. The infatuation stage will subside, and you settle back into a routine (but now another person has been added to your routine). This doesn’t mean the relationship is fizzling out or is over by any means. Long-term relationships aren’t meant to function continuously on an emotional high. Unfortunately, our society has painted us with an unrealistic view of romance through movies and media. It is important to remember every person has flaws and weaknesses. A person needs to be realistic, and their expectations must be the same. To stay fresh, relationships take consistent effort from both parties. Philippians 2:5 In your relationships with one another, have the same minds as Christ Jesus.

4. Your Friends Are Important, Do Not Abandon Them!

Many people focus on the new person and completely bout others, which is not wise! Friends provide you with a balance to add to your new relationship. New relationships tend to take up a lot of time and energy, and good friends will remind you to stay balanced. Another benefit of fostering friendships before entering a romantic relationship is having people who know the real you. Good friends will tell you if you aren’t acting like yourself. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

5. How Do I Know If I Am Ready For A Relationship?

Your past dating/divorce may have been hard on you. I strongly suggest you heal first instead of rebounding and jumping right back into a new relationship simply because you are lonely. We need to be healed and know our worth so we will not settle for less than we deserve. You won’t be looking for someone to complete you because you understand that you are already complete the way you are now. You know you’re worthy of the time, energy, and dedication a relationship takes. A good sense of self-worth also means you’ll be less likely to “settle” in a relationship. Luke 12:35-36 “Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet so that when he comes and knocks, they can immediately open the door for him.

6. Are You At Negotiating And Compromising?

A compromise is a tool you must have, or you will only be in the relationship for a short time. No matter how you and your partner like one another, there will be times with your opinions will differ slightly on specific subjects. When a difference of opinion arises, you must compromise in a way that demonstrates your love and concern for your partner. Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

7. What Are Your Goals And Dreams?

Knowing your goals and letting your partner know what they are is essential. You will want to have a plan when it comes to achieving them. Having the right partner will help you achieve those goals, and you can help them with their dreams too, but sometimes your plans can get lost in a new relationship. Sometimes that is okay, depending on how important the goal is for you or them. It is crucial to let the skeletons out a little at a time. In doing so, your partner can feel free to share their weaknesses or blunders in their life too. Being transparent and honest are wonderful traits, but not all on the first date, if you know what I mean. Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 

 

 

 

Top 10 Dating Mistakes Christians Need To Avoid!

8. Are Finances A Problem At This Time For You?

It is important to be financially independent and have a well-rounded understanding of money management. Being wise about money will keep you in control of your life and give you a sense of security. If you are not financially stable, there is no shame in letting your partner know. Problems can come about due to irresponsible spending or money in general. Honesty is the best policy. 1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

9. Do Not Let Your Ex Be A Factor In Your New Relationship!

Ask yourself a fundamental question, “Who wants to hear about my ex-partner, especially my new potential partner? To cultivate a healthy relationship with a new person, all your feelings toward your ex must be dealt with thoroughly. You must have moved on entirely from your past to enter a new relationship. But by not resolving a previous relationship, you will be inviting unnecessary drama and pain and possibly sabotage your new hopes with someone new. Please don’t compare your new partner to your ex. That would be simply asking for trouble that you do not want! Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

10. Do You Have A Drinking Or Drug Problem?

Alcohol and drugs can be a real deal breaker, so if you have a problem with either of them, get some help before you try to find yourself a partner. In our society, alcohol and drugs are commonplace (at least check on it so it will not interfere with your relationship or o real foundation. Even if your drinking does not cause you problems regularly, I still suggest you check on it to avoid interfering with your relationship.

11. Are You Comfortable Being Alone?

It is so essential to be comfortable in your own skin before you invite someone else into your life. This means you need to have the ability to be alone – and be comfortable with aloneness. Can you be comfortable with a cup of tea and a book without needing to call, text, email, or visit someone? For many people, one of the hardest things a person can do is be alone, but it’s essential. Because even in a relationship, you’ll find yourself alone from time to time. Mark 1:35  Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

12. Do You Have A Pretty Good Balance In Your Life?

You have to establish your sense of balance before entering a relationship. Naturally, a new relationship will tip your balance a little, but you should be able to bring your balance back relatively quickly. Your friends will help with this since they know you pretty well, and talking to them about this can be very helpful so you do lose yourself in your new relationship. Balance is an excellent thing! Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.

 

 

 

13. What Do I Do To Find The Right Person?

It’s good to have expectations in mind when looking for a partner, but you need to stay open-minded. Unfortunately, each person you meet has their own “Baggage” they have in life they are dealing with or possibly have not dealt with those who would make you a good match in a person you didn’t expect. Be open enough to step outside your comfort zone. Share your desire with your friends in hopes that one of them might know someone that would make a good match for you. Remember to refrain from settling for the first friendly person who shows interest in you. Acknowledge their interest but test the waters a bit before jumping in. Be slow to commit yourself to anyone, but at the same time, keep your eyes and ears open to discover what God’s will for your dating life would look like. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

14. What About Your Hobbies And Interests?

Do not lose yourself in your partner. Know what you like to do. Whatever that is for you, do not give it up, but rather work with your new partner to be a good thing that you both have your interest that you can share or even some just for your own needs. Your partner will come with their interests, hobbies, and things that get them charged up. It’s essential to have your own as well. That way, when your partner wants to do something that does not interest you or vice versa, you can feel free to be still connected and close, yet give each other space that we all need in life, yet still be love. Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

15. Rome Was Not Built In A Day. Take Your Time!

It is a fact that relationships take time. Getting to know someone takes time and energy. Do you have enough time and energy to share with a potential partner? If the answer is no, then you need to reevaluate your schedule to find time to date. One of the essential factors in letting someone into your life is to have time for them. Remember that you do not have to be attached at the hip to show love for someone, but you need to be there for them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There are different points of view on how often to see one another, you will have to decide what is best for you, but you may consider maybe three dates a week, and try to refrain from kissing too quickly, opening that door too soon could fog your perspective on things. Slow and steady will win the race. Ask a lot of questions and get to know them well. Your friendship will grow into love before you know it, and it will be built on solid ground, not sinking sand. 1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. ~ Bill Greguska

 

 

My Principles For Healthy Dating After A Broken Relationship For Next Time!

  1. Learn what their relationship with God means to them. Hear their testimony.
  2. Find out about their past, especially if they are divorced, have children, etc.
  3. Don’t give up your personal life and your friendships with others.
  4. Do not talk about marriage except initially (only to see if they are open to it someday and if that is something you want).
  5. Can you see them as a possible teammate?
  6. How important is God to them in their life?
  7. Don’t be misled by good looks.
  8. Is physical attraction the main attraction, or is spiritual, emotional, and intellectual attraction important too?
  9. Take enough time to get to know each other and their likes and dislikes.
  10. Look for Godly character and let them know you like that.
  11. Take a lot of time before you kiss; at least four months of dating or more would be wise.
  12. Sex before marriage is not an option.
  13. Don’t tell them you love them until you know it is true love.
  14. Are they friendly, like-minded, respectful, kind, honest, transparent, loyal, and have integrity?
  15. Do they generally seem to be more naturally positive or negative?
  16. Are they emotionally stable, generally speaking?
  17. Do they have any past or present addiction or issue that needs to be discussed?
  18. Do they have a good sense of humor?
  19. Do they communicate well, both listening and talking?
  20. Try to limit three dates per week max. Start slow you can always increase later.
  21. Pay attention if they tend to argue or debate quickly.
  22. Enjoy your time together, hang out with one another and try to have a purpose.
  23. Keep both eyes open while dating, then one eye shut if you were to get married.
  24. Always be the best person you can be and help improve them.
  25. No matter how the relationship develops, make knowing each other brings them closer to God.
  26. Listen to them well and show love for them with your actions and kind words.
  27. How do they talk about others, and do they seem worthy of your trust?
  28. Encourage open communication and transparency.
  29. Keep the relationship a little private until it is more established.
  30. Ask a mentor, a close friend, or even a counselor or pastor for their advice when needed about your situation.
  31. Keep in mind that just because you are dating someone does not mean it will turn into a marriage.
  32. Enjoy getting to know them as a brother or sister in Christ whether or not you stay together.
  33. Do they act, talk, and dress appropriately?
  34. Be honest about why you are attracted to them and if that is substantial enough for a healthy relationship.
  35. Remember that you want God’s will to be done, not your will!
  36. Can they freely ask for forgiveness and also forgive you?
  37. Remember that it is okay to be single. Yet marriage can be excellent with the right person.
  38. What are their standards, values, and morals? Is it compatible with yours?
  39. Go slow emotionally, and do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
  40. Be sure that the way you treat them is pleasing to the Lord and that your conscience is clear.
  41. Please pay attention to them while determining their character. Tell them what you admire about them.
  42. There is no such thing as a perfect girlfriend or boyfriend.
  43. Don’t email, text, or call too often or not enough.  Ask what is comfortable for them.
  44. Give and take healthy space for one another. Have healthy boundaries.
  45. Pay attention to red flags. Talk to them calmly, non-judgmental way as you would want to be talked to.
  46. Determine if any negative trait can not be acceptable to you. Try to negotiate, if possible, or make other arrangements.
  47. Remember that you are not perfect, and they will not be perfect, either.
  48. Think of what you consider a deal breaker before you start dating someone.
  49. Pray about the relationship. Do not make any decisions based only on emotions.
  50. Ideally, wait all four seasons before getting married to know them well enough.

 

 

 

 

Taking Time To Know One Another Is Critical!

Do Not Rush Things When Dating! NeedEncouragement.com

While dating, keep both eyes open, but you need to close one eye when married!

Don’t you think it makes sense to be dating the right person? Another way of looking at it is to ensure you are the right person. Practical tips on how to find the right person! If you are interested in knowing how to date someone, you will find much helpful information on this page. Proper dating is based on honesty, excellent communication, respect, and being open to your date while always being yourself. 

The purpose of exclusive dating should be married as the ultimate goal. However, some people agree to be at least being romantically driven toward one another, which is different.  Be the right person, and date the right person. Before a couple even thinks about getting married, they should consider going together at the very least for one year before making that commitment. Make sure you do not go too quickly. Remember that it takes some time to grow a tree. ~ Bill Greguska

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once You Find Someone You Like, And They Like You!

My Prayer Is That You Will!

Is God Important To You In Dating? NeedEncouragement.com

When dating someone, treat them like a brother or sister. Make it your goal to help make them better people just for knowing you!

  • Guard your heart and take things slowly.
  • Don’t get too emotional.
  • Not get carried away by run-away thoughts too far ahead of the relationship.
  • Keep all that happens in an open palm,  1 Peter 5:7.
  • be grateful for walking alongside, breathing the same air, taking one step at a time, and waiting, waiting, WAIT on the LORD.
  • Be an observer, a collector of information, a learner, realizing that each person is a DEEP WELL and no one but God is Omniscient!
  • Remember that kissing or holding hands can cloud rational thoughts!
  • So pray that God reveals in His time all you need to know about your date and all they need to know about you so you can make a rational decision about going further.

 

 

 

 

 

How Do You Know Someone Is “The One?”

Here Are Some Helpful Links:

 

 

 

 

Do Not Rush Things When Dating!

Would you please slow down when dating if you feel pressured and want to get married? If you go too fast, you will likely make emotional decisions that you will regret later.

Please be sure to get to know and like the person you are dating. Getting the other person sees them in different settings to see how they react.

A person can and will put their best foot forward for a while, but in the end, you will get the real person, which is why it is essential to take time to get to know and understand the person you are dating. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not just something to take lightheartedly and end up in a divorce.

 

 

 

 

Don’t Be Naïve, Because Roses Do Have Thorns Too!

Dating leads naturally to marriage! NeedEncouragement.com

Be sure to take enough time to get to know one another while dating!

  1. Only pursue a serious dating relationship once you are ready to marry. Until people are mature enough to get married, they ought not to be in a serious romantic relationship. But, in the meantime, they should use their time growing as a person.
  2. Be yourself and guard your heart until you know another person. Make sure the other person is worth your time and energy to get involved in a deeper relationship.
  3. Talking about marriage immediately is an excellent way to scare off someone you care about, especially if they do not feel as attracted to you as you are to them.
  4. When you date a friend, you will see your date in many situations, such as handling stress and treating their family and others. 
  5. A sense of humor is not only enjoyable but is an excellent tool to be able to handle what life hands out.

Ephesians 5:3 But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any impurity, or greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

30 Questions To Get To Know The Person You Are Dating Better?

Here are a few suggestions, not necessarily in this order, but as it naturally comes up or in a lull in the conversation when prompted by the Holy Spirit:

  1. How did you come to know the Lord? i.e., What were the circumstances that brought you to the realization or understanding of the Gospel/Good News?
  2. What are your favorite things to do?
  3. What books have marked your life? – as a child, as an adult? (Were you read to as a child?)
  4. Mention some influences that made a positive impact on your life?
  5. What places have you lived/traveled to?
  6. What friendships made a difference in your life?
  7. Have you learned some valuable lessons from people/friendships?
  8. Was there a teacher/class from a school that you remember with fondness & why?
  9. What was the most challenging year(s) in school? [Dr. James Dobson says the Middle School years are often the hardest, and many bear the scars of those years.]
  10. Siblings? Birth order?
  11. Favorite time of the year?
  12. Do you have a favorite color/number?
  13. What’s your favorite bird & why?
  14. Are your parents alive?
  15. Did you take vacations with your family? Where? Favorite places, etc.

 

 

 

Some Specific Scriptures To Encourage You:

2 Timothy 2:22 ESV

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Genesis 2:18 ESV 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV 

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Genesis 2:24 ESV 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Song of Solomon 2:7 ESV

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

Hebrews 13:4 ESV

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Proverbs 4:23 ESV

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Proverbs 18:22 ESV

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:30 ESV 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV 

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Romans 12:9-10 ESV 

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Matthew 19:5 ESV 

And said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

Proverbs 19:14 ESV 

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Amos 3:3 ESV 

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?

1 Peter 4:8 ESV 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins.

 

 

 

Find Hope And Encouragement From Our Links!

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