Tired Of Having Conflicts With Others?
We all get into conflict with others from time to time. I have found a tool to analyze my part in any dispute and what I can do to be responsible for my own words and behavior. We need to use God’s Word, honest reflection, transparency, humility, and prayer so we will be able to resolve conflicts with others in a much more straightforward way. ~ Bill Greguska
What Do You Think?
Take A Closer Look At What YOU Say And Do.
- Maybe what you mean to say something innocently, others may take differently.
- Maybe you may say something a little too harsh or direct.
- Maybe what you mean to say is joking. Others may take you seriously.
- Maybe you should keep in mind your tone of voice.
- Maybe what you say or do is normal for you but might offend others.
- Maybe you come on too strong the way you talk or act.
- Maybe you talk too much and do not listen enough. It is wise to be quiet sometimes.
- Maybe you are not being respectful to them by the way you talk with their ears.
- Maybe you said or did something rude.
- Maybe you are pushing your agenda on them too much.
Take A Closer Look At What OTHERS Say And Do.
- Maybe they might not mean anything by what they said to you.
- Maybe they might be going through some stress or problems of their own and not realize how they are talking to you.
- Maybe I am being too sensitive to what they are saying.
- Maybe what they say is correct.
- Maybe what they are saying is partially correct.
- Maybe what they are saying is their point of view even though it conflicts with your point of view.
- Maybe what they are doing is how they have been raised.
- Maybe their political or religious beliefs are not the same as yours.
- Maybe their ways of talking and doing things are the polar opposite of yours.
- Maybe you need to give the person the benefit of the doubt.
Seven Principles to Strongly Consider!
- Try to stop focusing on the problem so much.
- Focus on the solutions instead be proactive.
- Try harder to understand the other person’s perspective.
- Learn to develop compassion and empathy for others.
- Seek to find compromises when possible.
- Create strategies to avoid conflict or resolve it before it gets out of hand.
- Through prayer, learn to forgive others, gain reconciliation, and healthy relationships as a result.
Resolving Conflict with Others ~
1. What did I do to the other person to upset them?
- Did I possibly say something to upset the other person?
- Was I respectful to the other person in any way?
- Have I had any past conflict with the other person that was not resolved?
List three insights and possible solutions below!
2. What did I perceive that the other person did to upset me?
- Did I clearly understand the other person? And did I ask for clarification?
- What what the person said true? Could I have overlooked whatever it was?
- Has the other person insulted or disrespected me in the past?
3. What did I possibly say that might have caused the conflict?
- Did the other person not understand what I was trying to say?
- Was I disrespectful or unkind to the other person?
- Did I blame the other person in some way or another?
List three insights and possible solutions below!
4. What did I perceive that the other person said that caused the conflict?
- Did I clearly understand the other person?
- Did I overreact to what the person said?
- Could I have overlooked it and shown grace to the other person?
Scriptures That Support Each of The Four Questions Above.
- Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
- James 5:6 You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.
- Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Luke 6:29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.
Peace Is The Solution
Steps to Practice When We Face Conflict:
1. Remove the Log Out of My Own Eye First.
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:5
2. Admit Weakness and Be Humble.
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Proverbs 28:13
3. Don’t Promise Beyond Your Ability.
But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. James 5:12
4. Give Others Grace no Matter Who is Wrong.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31
5. Strive to find Solutions, Not Blame.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. 2 Timothy 3:16
6. Seek to Reconcile All Your Relationships if Possible.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
What If My Problems Seem Out Of Control?
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