Humor Makes Life Much Better!
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You can either laugh about it or cry about it; the choice is yours! ~ Diana Greguska
Ecclesiastes 3:4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Robin Williams (Patch Adams) His Magical Humor!
What Does It Mean To Have A Sense Of Humor?
I believe that there is a difference between being funny and having a sense of humor. Both are very important, and it’s often usually challenging to have one without the other—but it’s not impossible.
- I have always felt that being funny means expressing humor with a witty pun or a good joke that is characteristically well-timed. You do need to have a sense of humor to be funny.
- I believe that having a sense of humor means laughing at or at least see the humor in life’s everyday ups and downs. Although to have a sense of humor, you do not need to be funny.
- It is beautiful to have a sense of humor, and I have always had one since I was a little boy. But trying to be funny without a sense of humor is often seen as inappropriate, sarcastic, and can quickly turn people off. Warning, be careful of how you use your sense of humor.
Did you realize that laughter can encourage people and give them a spark of hope, and fun can reduce your level of stress, help you relax, increase your joy, and strengthen your ability to fight disease? Learn more about what laughter can do.
There are many benefits of laughter to consider. You might not have known that there are real benefits of laughter? Humor can reduce your stress level, and it can relax you and increase your overall joy in life.
Partaking in laughter regularly can also strengthen your body’s ability to fight disease, illnesses, depression, and lower your blood pressure.
Laughter reduces stress by activating a physical response in your body through endorphins, making you feel better, more relaxed, and more ready to take on the world.
Words Are Very Funny Sometimes!
Do You Ever Wonder About Any Of These Following Comments?
FOUR GREAT UNRESOLVED CONFUSIONS:
VAGARIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
What Else Can Humor Do For You?
Humor can increase how much you can get done and make you more enjoyable to be around.
Sharing laughter is an excellent way to bond with others and make adverse situations more bearable, and it can even make tedious tasks much less annoying or even enjoyable.
Do you realize that humor often can be the oil that makes relationships run smoother? Most everyone enjoys laughing, and bottom line, it is excellent for your overall health and well-being. You can add to this list yourself and understand the benefits of laughter in your life!
My Mom taught me the benefits of laughter! My mom gave me some advice during some hard times in my life. I will never forget. She told me that I had a choice of how to look at things. I could either deal with the situation and laugh about it, or that I could let it get me down and end up crying about it.
Bottom line, sometimes it is a choice to laugh about it or cry about it? ~ Bill Greguska
150 Jokes That Will Make You Grown!
1. What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
2. What gets wetter the more it dries?
3. What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?
4. What never asks a question but gets answered all the time?
5. What goes up but never ever comes down?
6. A girl fell off a 50-foot ladder but didn’t get hurt. How come?
She fell off the bottom rung.
7. What starts with “e” and ends with “e” but only has one letter in it?
8. How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?
She sleeps at night.
9. You spot a boat full of people but there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
Everyone on board is married.
10. How do you make the number one disappear?
Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!
11. What’s greater than God and more evil than the devil. Rich people want it, poor people have it. And if you eat it, you’ll die?
12. A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode out on Friday. How is that possible?
Friday was the name of his horse.
13. What two keys can’t open any door?
A monkey and a donkey.
14. What will you actually find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter “w.”
15. A young boy was rushed to the hospital emergency room, but the ER doctor saw the boy and refused to operate. “This boy is my son,” the doctor said. But the doctor wasn’t the boy’s father. How could this be?
The doctor was the boy’s mom.
16. What has a face and two hands, but no arms or legs?
17. What can be caught but never thrown?
18. I start out tall, but the longer I stand, the shorter I grow. What am I?
19. How many seconds are there in a year?
Twelve. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc.
20. What can run but not walk?
21. How many months have 28 days?
22. Thanks to me, you can see straight through the wall. What am I?
23. Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
Neither. They both weigh exactly one pound.
24. How can the pocket of your pants be empty, but still have something in it?
When that something is a hole.
25. What has a thumb and four fingers but isn’t actually alive?
26. Imagine you’re in a room that’s filling up with water quickly. There are no windows or doors. How do you get out?
27. Everyone in the world needs it, but they usually give it without taking it. What is it?
28. What can you hold without touching it at all?
29. I am an odd number. Take away one letter and I become even. What number am I?
Seven (take away the ‘s’ and it becomes ‘even’).
30. I’m light as a feather, but not even the strongest girl can hold me for more than 5 minutes. What am I?
31. Two mothers and two daughters went out to eat, everyone ate one slice of pizza, yet only three slices were eaten. How’s that possible?
The group included a grandmother, her daughter, and her daughter’s daughter.
32. What 5-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
33. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday?
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
34. What gets sharper the more you use it?
35. A man was outside taking a walk when it started to rain. The man didn’t have an umbrella and he wasn’t wearing a hat or a hood. His clothes got soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. How could this be?
The man was bald.
36. What can you make that no one—not even you—can see?
37. What belongs to you but gets used by everyone else more than you?
38. What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in one thousand years?
The letter M.
39. I’m so fragile that if you say my name, you’ll break me. What am I?
40. If I drink, I die. If I eat, I’m fine. What am I?
41. What’s full of holes but can still hold liquid?
42. I have teeth but can’t eat. What am I?
43. First you throw away my outside and cook the inside. Then you eat my outside and throw away my inside. What am I?
Corn on the cob. Because you throw away the husk, cook the corn. Then you eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.
44. What runs, but never walks. Murmurs, but never talks. Has a bed, but never sleeps. And has a mouth, but never eats?
45. What bird can lift the most weight?
46. What goes up as soon as the rain comes down?
47. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
48. I have all the knowledge you have. But I’m so small, you can hold me in your fist. What am I?
49. How much dirt is there in a hole that’s 5 feet wide and 5 feet deep?
50. What has three feet but can’t walk?
51. If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what do four and five make?
52. What travels the world while stuck in one spot?
53. Name four days of the week that start with the letter “t”?
Tuesday, Thursday, today, and tomorrow.
54. What has four eyes but can’t see?
55. What’s as big as an elephant but weighs absolutely nothing?
56. What has a neck but no head?
57. What moves faster: heat or cold?
Heat. Because you can always catch a cold.
58. Forwards I’m heavy but backward I’m not. What am I?
59. A girl leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two guys wearing masks. Who are the two guys?
The catcher and the umpire.
60. Beth’s mother has three daughters. One is called Lara, the other one is Sara. What is the name of the third daughter?
61. What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it?
62. I have one head, one foot, and four legs. What am I?
63. We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?
The letter “e”
64. If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
65. What has one eye but can’t see anything at all?
66. What is always coming but never arrives?
67. What can be broken but never held?
68. What would you call a man without all of his fingers on one hand?
Normal, most people have half their fingers on one hand.
69. If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
Survivors are not buried.
70. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men?
No time at all because the wall was already built.
71. If there is a bowl of five apples and you took away three, how many do you have?
The three you took.
72. If you only had one match and entered a dark doom containing an oil lamp, kindling, and a newspaper, which would you light first?
73. If you spell “sit in the tub” as s-o-a-k, and you spell “a funny story” as j-o-k-e, how do you spell “the white of an egg”?
74. Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
No, but he’s also dead so that’s impossible.
75. If Mrs. Smith’s one-story house is entirely decorated in pink (pink walls, furniture, carpet, etc.), what color are the stairs?
There are no stairs.
76. A boy who is alone, kicked his soccer ball ten feet and then it came back to him. How is this possible?
He kicked it up.
77. How can a man go outside in the pouring rain and not have a hair on his head get wet?
He is bald.
78. If an electric train is moving north at 100 mph and a wind is blowing west at 10 mph, which way does the smoke blow?
An electric train has no smoke.
79. How is it possible for every single person to die in a plane crash but two people survived?
The two survivors were married.
80. What breaks but never falls, and what falls but never breaks?
Day breaks and night falls
81. The accountant testified “the attorney is my brother,” but, the attorney testified that he did not have a brother. Who is lying?
Neither one because the accountant was his sister.
82. Uncle Ray’s farm had a terrible storm hit and now all but seven sheep were killed. How many sheep are left alive?
83. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?
84. What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
85. What goes up and down but always remains in the same place?
86. What does an island and the letter “T” have in common?
They are both in the middle of water.
87. What happened when the wheel was invented?
A revolution occurred.
88. A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof, which way did it roll?
It didn’t because roosters don’t lay eggs.
89. What has a head and a tail, but does not have a body?
90. Who is bigger, Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby?
The baby, since he is a little Bigger.
91. A man lives on the 100th floor of an apartment building. On rainy days, he rides the elevator all the way up. However, on sunny days, he only goes up halfway and then takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why is this?
The man is short and can only reach the 50th-floor button but, on rainy days he can reach higher with his umbrella handle.
92. When you need me you throw me away but, when you don’t need me, you bring me back. What am I?
93. Which English word holds the same pronunciation even if you take away four out of its five letters?
94. What makes you young?
You add an “n” and a “g” to the end.
95. What can fill an entire room without taking up any space?
96. A man dressed in all black is walking down the street when suddenly, a large black car with no lights on comes around the corner and stops. How did the car’s driver know he was there?
It was daytime.
97. What has ten letters and starts with gas?
98. Where can you find cities, towns, shops, and streets but no people?
On a map.
99. Tom, my neighbor, is a forty-five-year-old blacksmith that’s seven feet tall and eats often. What does he weigh?
100. There are three important rooms in a house; one is filled with money, another with important files, and the last with jewelry. One day these rooms burst into flames! Which room do the policemen put out first?
None because firemen put out fires not policemen.
101. What tastes but never smells?
102. Why are 1968 pennies worth more than 1967 pennies?
There is one more penny in 1968 than in 1967.
103. What English word has three consecutive double letters?
104. There are eight men sitting on a couch. Three legs break off and six men leave. How many legs are remaining?
Five; the legs of two remaining men and the remaining couch leg.
105. The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
106. Walk on the living, they don’t even mumble. Walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble. What are they?
107. What is the maximum number of times a single newspaper can be folded in half by hand?
108. What two words hold the most letters when combined?
109. If a monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree, who will get the banana first?
None of them; coconut trees don’t grow bananas.
110. If ten birds are sitting in a tree and a hunter shoots one, how many birds are left in the tree?
None because the others flew away after one got shot.
111. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
112. Why did the woman run around her bed at night?
The catch up on her sleep.
113. How many animals did Moses take into the Ark?
None because it was Noah who built and loaded the Ark.
114. How do you lift an elephant with one hand?
You can’t because you will never find an elephant with one hand.
115. How can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor and not crack it?
Well, it’s not very difficult as concrete floors are very hard to crack.
116. Which room has no walls?
117. Where can you find an ocean but no water?
On a map
118. How can a door be not a door?
When it’s a-jar.
119. What is the coldest sounding country in the world?
120. If you were running a race and passed the person in second place, what place would you then be in?
121. If you threw a red rock into a green sea, what would it come back as?
122. What kind of tree can be carried in your hand?
123. A teacher asks two girls that look exactly alike, the following questions: Are you from the same family? Do you have the same parents? Were you born on the same day? The girls answered yes to all of the questions but in the end, they were not twins. How is this possible?
They had another sister and together, they were triplets.
124. A woman pushes her car to a hotel and then proceeds to announce that she is bankrupt. Why?
She is playing Monopoly.
125. If Mrs. Hamilton’s peacock lays an egg in Mr. Smith’s yard, who owns the egg?
Peacocks don’t lay eggs.
126. A 10-foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?
Never because the boat rises with the tide.
127. A truck driver is going the wrong way down a one-way street. Despite passing at least ten cops, why is he not caught?
He was walking, not driving.
128. If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half-hour, how long would it take before all the pills had been taken?
One hour because the first pill is taken right away, the second comes a half-hour later and the last comes after another half-hour.
129. When does Christmas come before the New Year?
Every year! New Year’s always comes before Christmas of the same year.
130. How many times can 10 be subtracted from 100?
Once because the next time it would be subtracting 10 from 90.
131. Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?
No one, for Grant is entombed not buried.
132. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain on Earth?
133. If the Vice President dies, who acts as the President?
134. A rancher had 500 cows but took one shot that got them all. How is this possible?
A panoramic photo
135. How many sides does a circle have?
Two; inside and outside.
136. Why is it illegal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?
You can’t bury someone alive.
137. You are not allowed to take a photo of a man with a wooden leg. Why?
Because wooden legs can’t take photos, you would need a camera.
138. You have two coins that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a quarter. Which two coins are they?
A quarter and a nickel because one of them is not a quarter but one of them is.
139. How many 6” by 6” books can you put in a (2ft x 2ft) container, so that it is not empty anymore?
One, after that it is no longer empty.
140. Which letter of the English alphabet flies, sings, and stings?
141. She has married many men but has never been married. Why is this?
She is a minister.
142. Can you spell enemy only using three letters?
143. What wants to be answered despite never having a question?
144. The maker doesn’t want it; the buyer doesn’t use it, and the user doesn’t see it. What is it?
145. On which side of a chicken are there more feathers?
146. How can a man who shaves several times a day still have a long beard?
He’s a barber.
147. What coat goes on best when wet?
A coat of paint.
148. How many letters are in the alphabet?
11 letters are in “the alphabet.”
149. If Sally had 4 piles of sand and Judy had 5 piles of sand, and they put them all together, how many piles would there be?
One big pile.
151. How do you know when a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
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