Prevent Divorce By Relying on God in Your Marriage!
Here is something I would like you to consider: I know personally the pain involved in going through a divorce. It is the worst pain I have experienced in my entire life. I did not want the divorce which is probably why it was so painful. Being in a problematic marriage was not any fun at all either.
I tried to work things out until the very end, but my ex-wife gave up hope and trying. Losing a wife and having a son have to deal with the separation and divorce was very hard on me. At times I even wished that God would just take me to get me out of the pain. I cried a lot, my life was a mess. I was afraid to try to commit suicide, but the thought tormented me and crippled me from living life for a long time, I was in other words, very depressed.
More people should ask the question, “How to prevent divorce” from ever entering that slippery slide that is referred to as divorce. Divorce not only affects the couple, but everyone connected in any way, and the negative feelings never entirely goes away as someone might think. God allows divorce because He knew that man’s heart would get hardened, yet God still hates divorce, and so should you and me.
The only one benefiting from a divorce is the lawyer, so do all you can do to prevent divorce, seek marriage counseling and remember that your spouse is not your enemy, Satan is your enemy and he wants to break the two of you apart. ~ Bill Greguska
Part 1) Prevent Divorce By Learning How to Argue Less!
If every man would make his prime concern the comfort and well-being of his wife and every wife make her chief concern the comfort and well-being of her husband, we would have very little divorce in the land. ~ Gordon B. Hinckley
Top Reasons For Divorce
What to look out for to protect your marriage
Some of the greatest reasons for divorce today are, in descending order:
- Ongoing adultery/pornography (which is the same as adultery in the heart – Matt 5:28)
- Lack of communication
- Drug or alcohol addictions/abuse
- Physical/emotional abuse
- Sexual problems
- Financial problems
- Unfulfilled expectations
- Differences in priorities
- Differences in child-rearing
- Religious or cultural differences
- Boredom/falling out of love
- Child sexual or physical abuse
- Controlling spouse
- Mental health issues
- In-laws interference
- Jealousy, insecurity or lack of trust
- Shift in priorities
- Children leave home/empty nest
Information from: WhatChristiansWantToKnow.com
How to Prevent a Divorce From My Experience Being Divorced?
- Know who you are going to marry (someone with shortcomings).
- Make sure you both have an active relationship with God.
- Realize that there will be difficulties you will need to face together as teammates.
- Be sure to date for at least a year – or even more – to see how your partner handles life situations.
- Do things alone and with other couples who are dating.
- Do not allow your feelings of romance to cloud your thinking.
- When you do get married, keep focused on making your spouse happy.
- Make plans together and divide responsibilities up.
- Practice communication and forgiveness.
- Do not let children become the center of the marriage. The center is God, you and your spouse.
- Have date nights with each other each week and spend time with friends, too.
- Do not let your frustrations and anger spill over on your spouse.
Part 2) Prevent Divorce By Learning What helps You Both!
God hates divorce and so do I… ~ Bill Greguska
1 Corinthians 7:12-13 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
Malachi 2:16, “I Hate Divorce, Says The Lord God.”
Even though the Bible gives the possibility of ending the marriage, that does not mean God wants what He put together to be finished. Instead of asking, “What are the grounds?”, the question should be “What are the grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and counseling?”
The Bible never commands divorce, even in the case of abuse. The Bible specifies two acceptable reasons for divorce: abandonment of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse 1 Corinthians 7:15 and adultery Matthew 5:32. Since the Bible does not list abuse as an acceptable reason for divorce, we are careful to limit our advice to separation.
God allows divorce in the event of abandonment and adultery, but even those circumstances do not automatically trigger divorce proceedings; divorce is still a last resort. In the case of infidelity, it is better for two Christians to reconcile than divorce. It is better to extend the forgiveness and love that God freely gives us Colossians 3:13. Reconciliation with an abuser, however, is far different. Reconciling with an abusive partner depends completely on the abuser proving his or her reliability, which could take years—if it happens at all. Separation from an abusive spouse is likely to be long-term.
Related Pages of Encouragement:
A Special Link for a Little Extra Encouragement
Do All You Can do to Prevent Divorce!
Don’t give up on your marriage, because it is an effort of three You + Your Spouse + God = A Strong Marriage!
This reminds me of what it is addressed in Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. Acord of three strands is not quickly broken. This should be examined before the word divorce is ever though of. God created marriage and wants it to last for all of us!
Yes, there may be hard times to work through to prevent divorce, but in the long run, it will be worth the effort. Ask God for wisdom, patience, humility, and love. When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is imperative to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce says the Lord God.“
Even though the Bible gives the possibly for divorce, it does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in every situation. Instead of asking, “What are the grounds for divorce?” the question should be “What are the reasons for forgiveness, restoration, and counseling?” Divorce is tearing apart of two flesh that has become one!
Summary on How to Prevent a Divorce:
- Typically divorce is not recommended or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration are always the first steps. It should only be regarded as a very last resort.
- Reconsilliantion and working out problems is the goal with God as your guide. Although in some circumstances, separation temporarily to allow emotions to calm down is an option when things have obviously become a gridlock. The problem with separation, it leads to a slippery slope to divorce.
- It is extremely dangerous to go beyond what the Bible says (1 Corinthians 4:6). The most common other grounds that people try to exercise are spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), addiction to pornography, drug/ alcohol use, crime/imprisonment, and irresponsible use of money (such as a gambling addiction). None of these can be claimed to be truly biblical grounds.
- Try to understand that by saying the above are not biblical grounds; we are certainly not saying that a man/woman whose spouse is practicing such activities should stay in the situation. If there is any risk to self or children, separation is a good and right step.
- Bottom line, what are the biblical grounds? The answer is sexual immorality and abandonment. But, are there other reasons beyond these two? Possibly. Is it ever to be treated lightly or used as the first recourse? God is capable of healing and renewing any marriage no matter how complicated things have gotten. It should only occur in cases of repeated and unrepentant heinous sin.
- Divorce has been around at least as far back as the time of Jesus Christ. God hates it, and so do I. It does so much damage to each person and children that it seems so hard to fathom. All the family members and friends are affected, and it rips right through the hearts of everyone involved just like a tornado when it utterly destroys an entire neighborhood.
Please contact us if you have any questions or comments or would just like some encouragement?
Divorce is probably as painful as death. ~ William Shatner
Divorce is the more painful than death because it is not only a major loss, but it is also a rejection. ~ Bill Greguska
1 Corinthians 7:13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.