Response Letters 3
Subject: “Prayers needed”
Please continue to pray for my husband, myself, and our marriage. I do love my husband and I want to grow old with him.
- Keep praying. Keep trusting in God!
- Reach out to your Chrisitan friends for fellowship and support.
- Also, contact your pastor.
- Invite God to be your refuge and strength. Psalm 46:1
- Don’t debate with your husband. Vent your feelings with a girlfriend or someone like our ministry, possibly a doctor too.
- Try not to take on more during this time, keep your life as simple as possible, be good to yourself.
- Make sure you try to keep your life somewhat “normal” as far as possible. Be wise with your schedule.
- Eat healthy food. Keep away from sugar and overeating.
- Get some exercise, at least go for walks along to pray to God or with a friend to talk about things.
- Get 7-8 hours of sleep, avoid caffeine, and be sure you are adequately hydrated with water.
What did you have in mind? Have you considered praying about it and asking God what He thinks you ought to do?Our ministry does only email responses. If you like to email me back, I would be more than willing to give you my perspective, and that of God’s word.I hope these pages will be of help to you in the meantime…Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.God bless you!
Hi Paola,I would like to remind you that you can take this to God in prayer. Have you ever considered that you may need some medical help? Not all things can be blamed on a lack of faith. I would suggest that you contact your doctor in the morning and explain to him what you are experiencing. There is no shame in seeking help for mental illness. But it would be a big shame if you just kept on suffering without doing something about your situation. Here is a link that can be of help to you.Here is a phone number talk with some in the meantime 800-633-3446 and also a list of phone numbers you can call.I am sorry, but we do not talk with people on the phone. Our ministry is limited to just via email.Again, please contact your doctor or call the hospital or clinic in your area to get checked out and get some help! (I am not sure where you live, but you can try to call 211 and they might be able to help you or even 911 if you feel it is an emergency.I pray that you listen to my advice and get the help you need. If what I have shared with you has been helpful to you, feel free to email me back.May The Good Lord bless you and keep you safe.Bill Greguska
Please help me to be restored
I can only speak for myself, but there are times that I need to pray over and over, pleading with God to give me His wisdom and strength. Ask God to open your eyes to what is coming between you and your husband. I am glad you prayed, but do not stop now…Keep on praying and reaching out to God for His help. In the meantime, consider what it says in
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
I am sure since you are a woman, you are more emotional than your husband, but right now is not the time to be too emotional. Use the wisdom God has given you and take one day at a time while your eyes are on the Lord rather than the pain your husband seems to be dishing out. Pray for your husband and for yourself to be strong in your faith.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.
P.S. Check out this page on my website, it might be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/improve-your-marriage/
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “marriage”
I prayed but my husband does things to intentionally hurt my feelings and he wants to move out
I am glad you have reached out. Although you did not mention anything specific, it is evident that your marriage is not doing well. Have you prayed about your marriage? If not, ask God to open your eyes to be able to see what you can say or do concerning your husband to get things back the way they ought to be.
I pray for you right now that whatever is coming between the two of you can get resolved and the love of your marriage can be reconciled.
If what I have shared has been helpful, feel free to email me back if you have more that you wish to say specifically. May the good Lord be your comfort and your strength.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Again thank you Bill I respect your words of wisdom and encouragement. I have been praying for God’s peace and will continue. Thank you for your prayers!By the Grace of God,Eloise
Hi Eloise,I encourage you to keep praying about this. Maybe you could ask your pastor. I am sorry that my answer was not a resounding YES or NO, but if my common sense tells me that if their spouses are passed away, and they are not blood relatives, I do not see why they could not be married even though it is such a very weird situation.When I read Leviticus 18:16 below, I assume that it is referring to if the people are all alive which would be adulty in other words.You are going to have to make a decision about going to the wedding or not? I can not say that they are committing a sin, but I honestly do not know for sure. Again for what it is worth if they are not blood-related and both of their spouses are deceased, I think it might be okay. I am not a pastor or theologian, I am just a Christian who loves the Lord and wants to follow His teaching!I pray for you and your decision this weekend.James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.Bill GreguskaBill – Thank you, that means a lot.
Subject: Re: Do you know what the Bible says about brother-in-law and sister-in-law marrying?
Hi Bill,Do you know what the Bible says about brother-in-law and sister-in-law marrying? I’m invited to attend their wedding in a Christian church and it doesn’t sit well with me it’s mind boggling. I have hesitation and confusion about the matter… what does the word of God say about such things. Is this just me? I don’t want to be judgmental.
Hi Eloise,Your question is very interesting, so I looked into God’s word to help you find an answer to your question. Before you go any further, prepare your heart and pray for them. It might be a situation where they will not listen to your words of wisdom from the Bible. Remember what it says in Romans 12:18 that as far as possible as it depends on you, live a peace with everyone. It sounds to me that they are putting you in a position to choose to follow the teaching of God or to condone what God’s word prohibits. You need to choose who you will serve, God or man? (keep in mind that we are all sinners saved by God’s grace).
As you said, it is mind-boggling. I will not tell you what to do, although if I were in your shoes, I think I would gracefully tell them what you believe from God’s word and decline to attend the service. In the meantime, pray for them and remember what Jesus said to the Pharisees when they were about to stone the women caught in adultery. Jesus said he without sin cast the first stone. But whatever you decide to do, make sure you pray about it, and your decision gives you peace in your conscience. I will encourage you to keep praying about this until you have a clear answer. and also for you to take a look at:
Leviticus 18:6-256 “‘No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the Lord.7 “‘Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.8 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.9 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.10 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you.11 “‘Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister.12 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative.13 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative.14 “‘Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.15 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her.16 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother.17 “‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.18 “‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.19 “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.21 “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the Lord.22 “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.
24 “‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants.Hi bill,Thank you for your reply concerning my question. My brother in law through marriage and sister in law through marriage are both widows. I’ve also searched God’s word and found the same verse in Leviticus. I shared it with my husband and he did speak to his brother but not our sister in law. They continued their relationship and are planning to marry this weekend.I still can wrap my head around it…Thank you 🙏🏻
Subject: Re: This video can be beneficial to you if you are a believer or non-believer.
Hi Ashley,I get many questions and situations brought to my attention through NeedEncouragement.com, and I always try to give honest, easy to understand explanations the best I can, always pointing to the teaching of God’s word in the Bible. Your question was the first one that came from a video…Another good resource you can check out is GotQuestions.org if you have more questions that might pertain to your own life.
It is good that you and your friend have a hunger to know God better, that is very important! God will help you make wise choices in your life!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.God bless you,Bill Greguska
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Remarriage”Thank you for your response. Actually a friend and myself were watching a video. We started to discuss the topic and this was the scenario we got stuck on. I’m sure we will have other questions, I know I will. Thanks again for your time!
—–Original Message—–Subject: RemarriageMessage Body:A man and women don’t believe have children and are married. The man becomes abusive physically, mentally, and emotionally. The women divorces and changes her life to live as a Christian. She finds a Christian man. Can they marry? Or is it wrong?—Hi Ashley,Divorce is a very painful thing, I know I was divorced myself. This is a very good question. Are you asking for yourself or for someone else? Have you or (your friend) prayed and asked God what God wants to happen? Do not make decisions based on what you think or feel, always ask God, and sometimes others who can give you wise counsel.It has been 13 years since my divorce, I dated a few women, but the way I see it for me, unfortunately, is that “Once bit, twice shy”I felt that God wanted me to have friends that are female, but I do not feel lead to getting married unless it was totally obvious we were made for one another. You or your friend might want to experience long term dating instead of jumping right back into the frying pan sort of speak. I would suggest at the very least 2-3 years so that healing can happen and also that you do not make the same mistake as before. Time can be your best ally. If the guy truly loves you or (your friend).Just the fact that you are asking this question means you want to please God. That is totally awesome, keep it up! Below is some valuable information about divorce and remarriage. You can click on the video and or read the text. The video reads out the text.If what I have shared has been helpful, feel free to email again if you have another question.Bill Greguska>>Please Click Here to watch this video which will help clarify your question<<Question: “What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?”
Answer: First of all, no matter what view one takes on the issue of divorce, it is important to remember Malachi 2:16: “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that, since marriages involve two sinful human beings, divorces are going to occur. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcées, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1–4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because such laws were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).
The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this “exception clause” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness” during the “betrothal” period. In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged or “betrothed.” According to this view, immorality during this “betrothal” period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.
However, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of sexual immorality. It can mean fornication, prostitution, adultery, etc. Jesus is possibly saying that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations are an integral part of the marital bond: “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, any breaking of that bond by sexual relations outside of marriage might be a permissible reason for divorce. If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry. Although not stated in the text, it would seem the allowance for remarriage after divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality. There may be instances where the “guilty party” is allowed to remarry, but they are not evident in this text.
Some understand 1 Corinthians 7:15 as another “exception,” allowing remarriage if an unbelieving spouse divorces a believer. However, the context does not mention remarriage but only says a believer is not bound to continue a marriage if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave. Others claim that abuse (spousal or child) is a valid reason for divorce even though it is not listed as such in the Bible. While this may very well be the case, it is never wise to presume upon the Word of God.
Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that, whatever “marital unfaithfulness” means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for it. Even when adultery is committed, a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32). However, in many instances a spouse is unrepentant and continues in sexual immorality. That is where Matthew 19:9 can possibly be applied. Many also look to quickly remarry after a divorce when God might desire them to remain single. God sometimes calls people to be single so that their attention is not divided (1 Corinthians 7:32–35). Remarriage after a divorce may be an option in some circumstances, but that does not mean it is the only option.
The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should mark a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce and/or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9.
Hi Rongai,Have you prayed about your situation? Often we try to solve all our problems in our own strength. It is not bad that you want to find a solution, but it is important to go to God who is the creator of this universe first before we take things into our own hands.I am assuming that you are from Africa with a name like Rongai.Have you considered being content with what they can provide and help them in any way you can?
1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.How about other relatives of friends that can be of help to you?
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.If what I have shared has been helpful to you, feel free to email me back if you have any other concerns. In the meantime, I will pray for you that you can find God’s peace and provision enough for you at this present time.God bless you and may He direct your steps,Bill Greguska
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
If what I have shared has been a help to you, feel free to email me back if you have any questions.
|Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Stress from Work”|
Well, I am glad to hear two things that you shared with me. One is that you are a Christian, and two is that you are praying. I am sure you realize that just because we are Christian, that does not automatically give us a free pass from all pain, suffering, anxiety, or problems in this world.
Ephesians 6:12-14 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.