Response Letters 3

Christian resourse lettersLearn about how others deal with their problems.

Below are some of the questions people have emailed in to ask us about.

I personally am not a professional counselor, yet I have been a Born-Again Christian since 1986. Our responses are based on Biblical principles found in the Bible and through prayer and links to our website.

 

  • If you wish to ask a question of your own, please contact us.

 

 


 

Hi Shalom,
What have you tried so far to help yourself with your addiction?
What type of addiction do you have?
Have you been praying about your addiction?
I was addicted to alcohol and drugs for 10 years, but then the Lord somehow finally answered my prayers. I do not know what you are addicted to, but a page from my website can probably help you.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or want to share more so I can help you better.
I will be praying for you to take your addiction to God in prayer.
Addiction scriptures!
From: Shalom
Subject: Addiction
Message Body:
I have been struggling with this for years, and I need help.

Hi Chasity,
If you would like to communicate via email with me, that is the way we do it here at NeedEncouragement.com.
Otherwise, you can call 800-633-3446, and someone could talk to you, although they are quite understaffed, so it might take a while actually to talk to someone.
If you want to email me back with what is on your mind, I would be more than happy to advise you.
God bless you,



From: Chasity
Subject: Life-Family-Doubt-Relationships
Message Body:
Hi – I was just looking to talk to someone of the same faith (Christian) because I believe in God, and I don’t want to be judged, and I need just an unbias person to talk to and, honestly, just a little guidance. I trust in God, but I just can’t help but feel like these major life choices. I want to do His will, and it’s hard to know for sure.

 


Hi Olufemi,
I am sorry that you have to be going through this whole thing with your wife cheating on you, and to magnify it, doing it with your best friend who works at the same place as you and your wife.
Like everything in life, I suggest that you take this to the Lord in prayer. You said your wife loves you, and she probably does. Yet, in this short email to you, things are not all going to be resolved.
Whatever ushered this sin into your wife’s life, the Lord can restore what has happened and, with HIs help, bring the two of you even closer to each other than before. Have you and your wife prayed about this? That would be my suggestion. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
The next thing I would suggest is to take this to a pastor or a counselor so you can talk this over and get to the root of things. What are some things you and your wife can do to strengthen your marriage?
Another thing to do would be to set up a boundary to prevent your best friend and wife from falling into this temptation again. https://needencouragement.com/set-boundaries/
I personally think that there is hope and determining how you deal with it. You will find success in rebuilding your trust and relationship with your wife. Since your wife has apologized but has she explained what lead up to her cheating on you? Have you been giving her enough attention and loving her? We are commanded to forgive one another, https://needencouragement.com/forgiven/ yet reconciliation is not commanded. Can you find it in your heart to truly forgive your wife and start to rebuild what satan has temporarily destroyed?

 

Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
I believe what you are going through is not easy, but other couples have gone through infidelity and come out on the good side with a healed marriage. I hope what I have shared with you has been of help. If you have any questions about what I shared and would like to email me back, please feel free to do so. I pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive your wife, and that will never happen again. Here is a page from my site that can help you guys find a Bible-believing church to attend.  https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
May God bless you both and bring healing to your marriage,

 

From: Olufemi
Subject: infidelity and betrayal
Message Body:
My wife had become unhappy and grew sad in herself without talking with me about it. She ends up having extramarital affairs with my closest friend in the same worksite, all 3 of us.
I am devastated. We have tried to work things out together, but I believe she hasn’t told me all, and I caught her 2 weeks after sexting with this betrayal friend again. I am living in fair…no trust. She said she still loves me but is not sure. She’s not all out as before, though she apologized and promised it would not happen again. I need help am so confused.

Subject: Mental Health and Relationship with God
Message Body:
Hello there,
My name is April, and I am looking for a free Christian counselor who can help me conquer and overcome a lot of the heaviness in my heart. Can you please help me?
Hi April,
I am glad that you reached out. Whatever you are going through, God already knows, and the best thing for you to do is reach out to God in prayer. Sometimes we need to pray about something over and over. It is not that God does not hear us, but He wants us to come to Him for our answers to our problems.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I am not a professional counselor, but I have been a Christian for over 35 years. During those years, I have experienced divorce, depression, anxiety, and much heaviness, as it sounds like you are going through. I will love to point you to Jesus and His word in the Bible if you are interested.
Otherwise, there is a one-time free professional counselor that you can try by going to…https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/.
But if you would like to share a bit of your burden, it would be an honor to listen and try to help you.
Here is a page from my website that I think will be of help to you. http://needencouragement.com/deep-sadness/
Also, here is another page from my site I think will be of help to you. http://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

 

Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.


 

 

Subject: fearful
Message Body:
I am caring for my mother, who has been diagnoses with cancer.
Germaine

 

Hi Germaine,
I am very sorry to hear of your mother’s cancer diagnosis. I pray that God gives you strength and wisdom to be able to take good care of her. I took care of my mom for the last 8 years of her life, she lived to be 93 years old, yet she did not have cancer. But keep in mind that a cancer diagnosis nowadays is not as bad of a thing compared to years ago with all the medical information available to help.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope that you keep close to God in prayer and through his word in the Bible. He will be able to give you the strength and wisdom that you need.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back if you have more to say or have any questions?
God bless you for taking care of your mom!
Bill Greguska

Subject: Job difficulties and conflicting advice
Message Body:
Hi,
I am ready for some help to sort through all the conflicting advice I have been receiving about my job difficulties… I look forward to hearing from you.
Janet
Hi Jan,
I would not be able to give you a really good answer to your question because I do not know how bad your epilepsy is? I have been a caregiver for many years, to know a caregiver is not as intense of a position as, let’s say, a nurse or a doctor. My gut tells me that if you really have your heart set on being a caregiver, go through the proper channels and see what they tell you? If worse came to worse, and you did have a seizure, do they come up real quick? If so, that is different than if you would get signs that indicate a seizure was coming.
Again, the best people to ask this question are the people hiring you as a caregiver (the company).
In the meantime, pray about it and see what God is prompting you to do?
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If so, and you have any more questions, feel free to email me back.
God bless you and keep your eyes on the Lord,
Bill,
Well, here’s one that threw me for a loop… An aunt of mine who knows I love caregiving n was encouraging me to get schooling to be a certified caregiver. When I told her I was strongly thinking of it, she said, “You need to consider this from all angles. With your epilepsy ( it’s reasonably controlled), you could have a seizure n harm a patient n get sued, n get yourself in such a deep hole financially. You’d never get back out.” 
I knew she had a point about the possibility of a seizure… So I talked to my family doc and asked her if I was unwise to be considering schooling for caregiving. Her thought was as long as I set some boundaries for myself, I could do it. 
Did I handle this wisely?
Janet
Hi Janet,
If you wish to share what conflicting advice you have been given, I an give you my opinion based on what God’s word says. Before you even tell me what is going on, my main advice is to take your concerns to God in prayer. He knows what you need exactly!
I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you!

 

That is good encouragement, Bill. I have been trying to do that, and it is amazing how it helps.

 

 


 

 

Subject: Depressed and feeling alone
Message Body:
Hi. I’m a born-again Christian, 53, feeling depressed and alone.
Awilda

 

Hi Awilda,
I am sorry to hear you seem depressed, I can offer you a few suggestions, but if you are truly depressed and suicidal, you need to contact a medical doctor. But if you are down and sad, then here is a list of things to consider.

 

Here is some basic idea to consider why you might be not feeling well:
  1. Have you been praying to God each day, asking God for help?
  2. Have you been reading your Bible?
  3. Are you getting enough exercise?
  4. Are you eating healthy and avoiding junk?
  5. Are you drinking enough water?
  6. Are you getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night?
  7. Is there any unconfessed sin in your life?
  8. Is there anyone you need to ask forgiveness for?
  9. Is there anyone you need to forgive?
  10. Have you been feeling sorry for yourself?
  11. Have you been laughing very much lately?
  12. Have you been socially connected?

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

A good video on this link below can help you figure out whether you are depressed or feel great sadness?
If you wrote down 10 things that you are grateful to God for, you would begin to feel much better. I get “depressed” sometimes too, but since I have experienced real depression in high school and a broken marriage, I have learned that depression feelings are usually just feelings of sadness, or physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually tired burnt out temporarily.

But if you think you are truly depressed, consider getting professional help. Antidepressants can be helpful discretion is needed to determining if you are only experiencing sadness, that I would try first to read the list above and see if that helps. If you feel suicidal, then get help right away. Here is a good page with information to help if you are feeling suicidal. http://needencouragement.com/suicide-prevention/ or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) right away.

If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I mentioned or have more you would like to share.
Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

God made it very simple and clear for us…
He gave us two basic things to remember!

Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’


Subject: Studying

Hi

I need someone to help me advise about reading the Bible Study at home for the year 2021. I am interested in studying Bible to do it alone myself.
Are there any more topics, etc., that l would like to learn?
Keturah
Hi Keturah,
I am happy you reached out to us. I do have a couple of suggestions for you. The first one is when you read the Bible, do not read it like you would read the newspaper, first pray before you read and ask God to reveal to you what He wants you to know.
By the way, I got your other email saying you have a deaf disability and you suffer mild anxiety. Have you been praying your deafness that God open your eyes even wider to compensate? Also, remember to pray about your anxiety?

If what I have shared with you has been of help, feel free to email me back if you have more to say or question anything I have shared?

I pray that the links and website pages will be beneficial to you!

2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

Subject: Marriage to an unbeliever
Message Body:
Hi, I’ve tried to reassure myself and pray about this situation. Still, I have been feeling very convicted lately, and I honestly don’t know if it’s my mind or if the devil is taking advantage of my vulnerability. I went through a phase in my life where I still prayed to God but didn’t listen to what He had to say, and I didn’t live in a very godly manner. I didn’t have the desire to go to church or do things the right way. I eventually ended up marrying my husband, who isn’t a believer. I had repented for doing so because I didn’t realize how bad it was to marry an unbeliever. I thought that I could marry whoever and live my life the way I please while still calling myself a Christian, but then I realized that was foolish. I just feel as if my marriage won’t be blessed and that I’m basically doomed in a way if I stay. I had read 1 Corinthians 7 and keep feeling that it doesn’t apply to me because I was a “Christian” when I married my husband, and it’s really been hindering my growth lately.
Angel
Hi Angel,
I am glad you reached out to share your situation. I encourage you to keep praying and asking God for wisdom. You may never have thought of it, but it made me think about the opportunity you have to share the Gospel with your husband when I read your email.
I would guess that he has had some church experience, maybe with some wrong teaching, but since you are a Christian, I would strongly encourage you to pray to God for opportunities to share the Gospel with him in small doses. I will pray for this to happen for the two of you. Keep in mind that you are married until death do you part and that God hates divorce.
It sounds like you read the scripture that talks about those who are believers sanctify the unbeliever. It may be a big order, but we have a big God, and that the believer needs to help point the unbelieving partner to the Lord.

 

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
You have your work cut out for you, do not look for a way out. I say this because I know what it is like. I was married for 8 years, and my wife moved out with my stepson in 2005, and I refused to divorce her. This lasted 2 long years, but I know I did the right thing, just like you will do the right thing.
If what I have shared has been helpful and if you have any questions about what I said, feel free to email me back.
God bless you, and I pray He opens and closes the right doors in your life. I am sure you will do what God calls for you to do.
Bill Greguska

Bill, 

I really appreciate your words of encouragement! I’m starting to feel a lot better about my situation and will make it a priority to trust in God’s faithfulness and pray for my husband. 
Thank you again!
Angel
Hi Angel,
It sounds like you want to do what is right, yet that does not always mean it will be easy. Set your mind on doing God’s will in your marriage, and you will discover that He will give you the wisdom and strength to honor God in your marriage.
In addition, you might ask your girlfriends (who know your husband to pray for you guys and have their husbands come alongside your husband to encourage his walk with the Lord).
Right now in your life, consider your marriage your highest priority besides that of your relationship with God. Focus on how you talk to your husband, how you respond to him, how you cook for your husband, and how you submit to him (even though he is a pre-believer.)
You need to not only pray for your husband and marriage. You need to be the best wife you can be! No matter if he is disrespectful, or rude, or arrogant, or uncaring, or could care less right now about his faith or eternity.
I pray that you not only hear what I am sharing with you, but I also pray that whatever the Lord prompts you to do, that you do it. In a way, you are in a battle, but we know that the victory is in the Lord!!! Even if worst comes to worst, and your husband does not change or divorces you, you know that you did all that you could do in your heart of hearts, then just stand!
No matter what happens in the future, you will be fine if you honor the Lord Jesus, which is a promise from God. If there is anything (sin) on your part that needs to be confessed, please do so, and repent from it. I know that marriage can be like a battleground, But all God instructs you to do in the marriage relationship is to do your part, let God deal with your husband the way He wants to.
Again, that is why I stood firm and did not give up on my marriage, and God has blessed me for being obedient to His word.
You will be fine, just one day at a time, and trust God and carry on…
Bill Greguska

Hi, 

Thank you for your response. It was really helpful. Hearing other people say otherwise is what has been making me feel so convicted lately. I had recently read about the mass divorce in the book of Ezra. I understand that was because the Israelites were well aware that God had commanded them not to because they would turn away from Him. And I believe I’m scared because although I didn’t know how bad it was out of ignorance that God wouldn’t forgive me until I took the same action. Following the guidelines from 1 Corinthians gives me more peace, but I’m still anxious that God isn’t pleased for some reason. 
Angel

Hi Lane,

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I read your email yesterday, but I wanted to think more about how to reply to you. I hope you have been praying about this and asking the Lord for His wisdom in dealing with your daughter and situation. I have a similar situation with my 36-year-old daughter. She does not attend church, lives with her boyfriend, and does not want me to talk to her or my 2 grandchildren about God, Jesus, the Bible, scriptures, or anything. I have tried to love her for being my daughter, but her ways have gotten further and further from God. It is a difficult situation. She has chosen to ignore me for the past 9 months. Yes, it hurts very badly, but I still need to live my life and honor Gods word in the Bible.,  I am not saying that I have the ultimate right answer, but if your daughter, I am assuming, is Christian, then the marriage would be unevenly yoked. If I were you, I would sit your daughter down and explain the ramifications of her decision to fall in love with the Muslim man.
2 Corinthians 6:14  Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Let’s look at this together logically. These are just random ideas for you to consider in making your own decision. 

  1. You need to keep this in prayer until the Lord prompts you to know what to do and what not to do.
  2. You need to figure out how much this bothers you and figure out who you are trying to honor, whether your daughter or God.
  3. You need to prepare your heart that your daughter will choose her boyfriend, and if so, what would you do?
  4. You could write her and her boyfriend a letter expressing your concerns. If you do not do that, would you go along with it once they are married or not?
  5. You could plan a long talk with your daughter alone, listen to her, and be very honest with her.
  6. You could ask probing questions such as if they have children, what faith would they be?
  7. You could ask more questions about the boyfriend.
  8. You could share your thoughts and feelings about this whole thing, not worrying about what her response will be.
  9. You could share your thoughts and feelings about this whole thing, being very careful and respectful about her feelings about this man.
  10. You could tell her you want nothing to do with the marriage at all, which might sever your relationship with her. Keep calm, and try to use tact. If she really loves him, you might just have lost your daughter.
Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Luke 12:51-53  Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. 52 From now on, there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two, and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

This is not an easy situation, but take it to the Lord and pray and He will give you the wisdom you need and find peace in your decision. I think you know pretty much what you will do. I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to point you to the Lord, not necessarily to your daughter. You did your job to raise her. She is now an adult, she can choose what she wants to do, but she can not choose the consequences of her choice. Hold your daughter in an open palm. This may help you concerning your daughter since Abraham was tested, and now you, Lane, are being tested. It would help if you had faith and trust like Abraham as it is written in:

Genesis 22:1-13 Abraham Tested 22 Sometime later, God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”

“Here I am,” he replied.
2 Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”
3 Early the next morning, Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while the boy and I go over there. We will worship, and then we will come back to you.”
6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?”
“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.
“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”
8 Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

13 Abraham looked up, and there in a thicket, he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.

The last thing you wrote to me sums things up pretty clearly of what you are facing. Pray about it, and I trust that the Lord will direct your path.

HELP! I don’t want to lose a relationship with my daughter, but I can’t compromise my beliefs.
I pray that the Lord separates your daughter in His own way and that you have faith to follow the Lord always, even in a difficult situation like this!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
From: Lane

Subject: Daughter marrying a Muslim

Message Body:
My daughter has told me she is in love with and wants to marry a Muslim man.  His father is a devout practicing Muslim.  I cannot find guidance anywhere on how I should handle this.  She knows I am opposed but is persistent in having me meet him.  I am afraid that just by meeting him, she will take that as my approval and acceptance.  I also do not want to pay for a wedding since I disapprove.  She has told me there would be 2 weddings….one per culture.  It is plain that one side of the family will always be left out of gatherings, and it will most likely be me.  I am also afraid that her children will be Muslim since everything I read says the children will take after the father.  HELP! I don’t want to lose a relationship with my daughter, but I can’t compromise my beliefs.

Subject: Need Encouragement
Message Body:
Hi. I am a second-year medical student, and I feel so empty. I am not motivated to do tasks and activities, and I am always tired even if I have not done anything. I feel like I am wasting time and my parents’ money because whatever I am doing, I am always failing, like in my quizzes and school tasks. I feel like I am always not enough.
Allen
Hi Allen,
You are very welcome. I am sure that your parents love you, and would want the best for you.
Keep in mind that you can not go wrong by doing God’s will!
Bill Greguska

 

Thank you so much for responding. I am really moved by your words, and I will seek answers to my questions for now. Thank you so much, Allen.
Hi Allen,
I am glad you reached out to us. I read your email yesterday, but I wanted to think and pray about it before responding to you. The first thing is, have you been praying to God about your situation? If not, that is where I suggest that you start.
Keep in mind that my purpose is to encourage you, NOT to discourage you. I think that you need to reevaluate your schooling to make sure that you are on the right track in the first place. Not everyone is meant to be in the medical field, and since you are struggling so much, you need to look at this a little closer. Yes, your parents are paying the bill for you, but if God does not intend for you to be a medical person, then all the money in the world will not change that fact.
You must pray about your situation, then if the Lord is leading you to continue in school, do it with all your heart. Make sure you take care of your health by getting enough sleep, proper exercise, and diet. But if the Lord makes it clear to you to go into a different field, then so be it.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Maybe a way of looking at it that might help is the analogy that someone like you could love basketball or football more than anything. Still, if God did not intend for you to play in the NBA or NFL (even if your parents and you all wanted that), then it is time to look elsewhere without any shame.
My older brother Tom started college with his plan in mind but changed his major to be a pharmacist after the first or second year, and the Lord blessed him for almost 40 years as a pharmacist. Remember, not every shoe fits, but you are following God’s path. You are on the right path, then keep trudging through.
Make sure you are trying to please God and do His will, rather than trying to please yourself and your parents. Again, I am not trying to discourage you, but I am trying to encourage you to reevaluate things with prayer for at least a week or even more. God knows what is going on with you, and you just need to know what is going on with God and His plan for you.
I pray that God will speak to you clearly and quickly to know whether to proceed in your medical field or get into a new situation. If what I have shared has been helpful, please email me back if you have anything else you think you need to tell me or if you have any questions about what I said.
God bless you as you seek His will for your life.
Bill Greguska

 


Subject: Just need someone to talk to.
Message Body:
I just need someone to talk to. I have a lot going on. I have trust issues. Been hurt so much in my life. It’s hard. I have a hard time talking to men. I just need someone who will listen and talk to me.
Ramona
Good Morning Ramona,
Please feel free to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with sharing. I have been a Born Again Christian since 1986, and I am sure I can help point you to the love of Jesus Christ so you can experience it too. You can simply respond to this email if you wish to communicate.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
I pray that you find the love of the Lord as you pray and seek after Him. I pray that He makes Himself real to you and guides you, and comforts you!
You can also chat with someone through this link if you prefer?
Bill Greguska

Subject: Feeling hopeless and helpless
Message Body:
Not long ago, I came home from abroad where I had work. I feel exhausted mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I have time to rest now, but the feeling of exhaustion doesn’t disappear. I have to take care of certain people now too. I do not have enough strength to take care of myself and those people. No one can help me. I don’t know what to do. I feel helpless and hopeless.
Tetyana
Hi Tetyana,
I am glad you decided to reach out for help. My first thought was to suggest that you make an appointment with your doctor or go to a clinic for a physical check-up without telling me more. 
It is not easy to diagnose what is best for you to do via email. I can ask you a few questions that can open up your mind to some things that you might not be doing in your best interest or doing some things that you ought not to do. Here is the short reminder checklist.
  1. Have you been praying about your exhaustion?   http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
  2. Have you been in communication with friends and family during this covid time?
  3. Have you been doing some exercises each day?
  4. Have you been eating healthy foods and drinking plenty of water in comparison to your weight?
  5. Have you been sleeping 7-8 hours per night?
  6. Have you been avoiding alcohol and street drugs?   http://needencouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs/
  7. Have you chosen not to forgive someone who has done you wrong? Unforgiveness Matthew 6:15
  8. Have you been trusting in God or relying on your own strength?
  9. Have you been enjoying laughter lately?   http://needencouragement.com/need-laughter/
  10. Have you been entertaining any unconfessed sin that needs to be confessed to God?  http://needencouragement.com/habitual-sin/
Tetyana, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to email me back if you want to share more or have any questions?
I pray right now that God touches your life and restores you mentally, spiritually, and emotionally to function the way you need to. I also pray that you go over the list I shared with you one more time, slowly and prayerfully asking God to speak to you and your needs.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
24-hour Encouragement Helpline 414-299-8550

 


 

 

Subject: My heart hurts.
Message Body:
I’ve been really struggling to know if my emotions have been from the lord or if it’s a fresh feeling. I have been so very emotional every day, and I can’t tell if it’s a number of things piling up or if the lord wants a breakthrough for me. I’ve been struggling so hard with feeling helpless and sad. Angry. I just feel broken. But there are other days when I just remember I need to stop and pray and think. But I have a tough time doing so. I oftentimes forget to stop and pray or even thank God for what he has given me. I’m currently under quarantine, and I feel very anxious. I can’t get out and see people and have an interaction like I typically do regularly. I work with kids and haven’t seen them in quite a while. I truly feel just drained, and I don’t know what to think about it. Where it’s coming from. If it’s an overwhelming feeling from the lord trying to get a breakthrough from me or if it’s my flesh tearing away at myself. Please help.
Abigayle

 

 

Hi Abigayle,
I am glad that you reached out for some help. I hope what I share with you can be practical and helpful to you! The first thing I suggest is to keep praying even if it seems useless. You need to trust that God loves you and has a purpose for your life.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Here are a few practical things I would like for you to consider:
  1. Pray each morning and read some scriptures, and pray at night, too, not to mention keep the Lord in your thoughts all day.
  2. Make sure you are eating healthy foods, avoid sugar, alcohol, junk food. Be sure to drink plenty of water too.
  3. Get some exercise each day, even if it is only going for a walk.
  4. Make sure you get to sleep at a decent time and get 7-8 hours of sleep.
  5. Get on the phone and call a couple of friends.
  6. Clean and organize your home. You will feel better if your place looks nice.
  7. Make a list of all the things that you are thankful for.
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help to you. If so, please feel free to email me back and share more or ask any questions you may have.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I pray that you can realize that you are just going through a valley or call it a darker time in your life. It too shall pass.
May God bless you as you walk close to Him.
Bill Greguska

Psalm 23:1-6A psalm of David.

 The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
 
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
 
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Subject: Dealing with a stressful person
Message Body:
A relative has a bad attitude. He thinks he knows Lord as I do. He is short-tempered. He has little respect for me. I’ve told him to stop heavy drinking. He wastes money on the lottery and liquor. He thinks I should pay more rent. I pay enough. He is not patient with me.
I really need out of this abusive situation, parents no longer around to talk to the relative.
I’ve been trying to cope, but I hope Lord brings up me safer places to live.
Hi Matt,
I would suggest that you still work things out to make sure you are not making an impulsive decision. Plan a time and sit down like two mature men and talk things out. You might want to cooperate with your brother since, as they say, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”
If your brother is habitually abusing you verbally or physically, that is one thing, but if you just have some sibling rivalry, then without knowing the whole story, my first choice (after you pray about this for at least a week) would be to consider how much he is asking you more for rent and weigh things out. It sounds like your brother is going through some stress of his own, and he might need your help.
Try to work things out, do your very best, and then if nothing gets any better. You might need to see how expensive it would be to move out.
Weigh it out, and pray it out.
Bill Greguska
Well, my brother is greedy, and he agreed I pay a certain amount monthly. I’ve been disabled and unable to work for some time. But I am trying for some light jobs.
Some think it’s best to get my own place and have tried to work things out. Another person said the Lord could end relationships. So maybe that’s what this is.
I’m trying to use my head, but so many struggles in this life and inconveniences.
Matt
Hi Matt,
I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this with your relative. Are you willing to do what it takes to work things out? Have you prayed about this situation? http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Prayer would be the first thing I would suggest that you do. If you have prayed and opened God’s word about this, what is the Lord encouraging you should do? I can imagine that it is hard to be living under the same roof with him having a temper, so you will need to decide what you are willing to put up with and what you are not willing to put up with.

Proverbs 15:18  A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

If this has been something that has been going on for a while, you might want to ask him to schedule a time that the two of you can talk these things over with him together.
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

If the two of you can not work things out, maybe it would be prudent to find somewhere else to live. There are usually two sides to every story. Have you been paying your rent on time each month? Have you been keeping your part of the agreement?
It depends on how badly you want to stay at your place. If you think it might be a good idea to move on, then I would suggest talking about that when the two of you have your scheduled meeting.
Maybe this negative situation might work out, but then again, it might not, and you would need to find someplace else to live. No matter what happens, use the brains that God has given you and make the best of this situation. I pray that you take my suggestions to heart and act on them wisely. If you decide to move out, make sure you have a plan and give one month’s notice. Here is a link that can be of help to you if you decide to move. https://www.rent.com/blog/ultimate-apartment-hunting-checklist/

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

I don’t think my relative is content with what he has and is miserable. I do continue to pray Lord leads me to a safer, saner atmosphere.

Matt

 

 

Hi Matt,
One additional piece of advice for you is no matter what you choose to do (stay and work it out, or leave), I strongly encourage you to keep your emotional cool and not let your frustration and anger get the best of you. Make that your goal, and I am sure that all things will work out for you.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Keep in mind that Coronaviris has affected all of us to some degree, have some compassion on your relative and pray for him. Keep your cool and trust in God. Things will work out!
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Bill Greguska

 

 


 

Subject: Adult child issue
Message Body:
Hello,  my wife and I have been married for 22 yrs now and have 5 daughters. We have been a practicing Christian family all our lives. The oldest daughter left home 2yrs ago at age 20 and moved in with her non- Christian boyfriend after 9 months of dating. We disapproved. After long talks and biblical advice, our daughter wanted to do things her way, not The Lord’s way. She barely speaks to us and acts like we don’t matter. She listens to the Advice of her friends and not ours.  She says we should be chasing after her if we want a relationship with her. My wife is under the impression of chasing her, and I don’t like that idea. We’ve given her time and space, and nothing is changing.  I really believe she’s content with not having parents in her life right now.  This crushes my wife deeply. My wife has chased after her to be in her life, but I can’t stand it because our daughter still treats her the same.  No respect and barely shows any kind of love or care. So as of today, we are in limbo, and I’m looking for another person’s advice. Thank you.
Chris

 

Hi Chris,
It is wise that you have reached out to gain a different perspective since you seem to be frustrated. Chris, you have struck a nerve with me, and I hope what I share with you can be of help! Having adult children can be a huge challenge sometimes. I have a daughter myself who is 36 years old, and she too has done things that I know without a doubt do not please the Lord. (if we are honest, I am sure we did some things that did not honor God too when we were our kids’ age, right?). I would like to ask you how much you have been praying about your situation. I believe that is where you will get your best advice through prayer and reading scriptures.
My daughter moved in with her boyfriend, the boyfriend even had enough respect to ask for my blessing, yet I had to tell him I disagreed because the Bible is against such a thing. Even though I did not like what they did, my love for my daughter did not stop me from loving her even in her sin, that is what Jesus did for us, and we need to do for others.
I made it clear, sharing a letter to them with scriptures to back what I knew was right. They have been living together for two years and have included me in their gatherings, and she talks to me via text and phone a lot. Have you reached out to her and invited her and her boyfriend over to your house? (you do not have to condone their behavior, just like Jesus did not condone ours, but He loved us anyway) that is what I hope you do with your daughter. Please swallow your pride, and love her where she is at. Hopefully, if what she learned in your Christian family and church will resurface, she will come to her senses.
Here is a link from my website with my daughter on it. I think that would be good for you to see.
I can understand your pain, frustration, and the feeling of just throwing in the towel. I have been there myself! But you need to continue to pray, and do not give up on your daughter!!! If you believe it or not, Satan influences your daughter, and your daughter needs your guidance now more than possibly ever! I have been there with my adult daughter. Please trust that I know what I am talking about. Being 22, she is still a child even though she wants to be treated like an adult.
Get it out of your mind that this will all be resolved in the coming week (it could), but believe me, it will most likely take longer than a week. She is your daughter, and you can not give up on her!!! I think that your wife’s heart is in the right place, but her thinking is a little off. I tend to agree with your wife, BUT I would not use the word “chase” after her, but rather I would use the words “reach out and be available.”
On the other hand, if your daughter is as rebellious as you claim her to be, then you need to guard your other daughters against her influence. All this is accomplished through Jesus, prayer, scriptures, and other Christian influences in your life. But with what you wrote to me, I know that L O V E is the answer no matter what!
Here are a few things to ask yourselves concerning your daughter:
  1. How is your relationship with your wife during this time?
  2. When you pray about this, what do you believe God wants you to do?
  3. What is your ultimate goal for your daughter? A relationship with you guys or God?
  4. What does your ideal relationship with your daughter look like in your mind?
  5. What is the minimum of a relationship you are willing to accept?
  6. Have you been making time for you and your wife to have date nights to refresh each other?
  7. What does your pastor say about this situation?
  8. What would you do if your daughter did not talk to you for a year or more?
  9. Have you talked with your other daughters, explaining to them that you love your oldest daughter, even though she is rebellious?
  10. Are you willing to call your daughter today to talk superficially to keep the door of communication opens? (no confrontation!!!)
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I pray that the love of the Lord can be in both you and your wife during this time, and I also pray that the Lord softens your daughter’s heart, and she can come to her senses like a prodigal daughter.
The way you handle your daughter, will I believe, affect the other four daughters you have. If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back if you have more to say or have any questions.
May the Lord bless you and your wife and the entire family! This scripture is my prayer for you and your wife and daughter!!! It can happen. It happened with my daughter and me!
Luke 15:17-24
 
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!
 
18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and you.
 
19 I am no longer worthy of being called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’
 

20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and you. I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’
 

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

 
23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.
 
24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
Bill Greguska

 

 


 

 

Subject: Bibles
Message Body:
Hi, I am asking if you all can help me out with some bibles to bless some people in Sierra Leone. Please can I get an answer soon, please?
Marlene,

 

Hi Marlene,
I have a connection to get you a free Bible, but the problem is that they only deliver in the USA. The only way I can think of is to contact https://www.biblesforamerica.org/
directly and see if they can help you. Their phone number is 888-551-0102
I am sorry we could not be of more help to you. I pray that they might be able to help you when you contact them.

 


 

 

Subject: Self/mental sin
Message Body:
Good night. I am a 25-year-old female. I have a problem that I have been trying to correct on my own for some years now. However, I am always experiencing relapse on my journey of change.  Since I was around 14 years old, I have always had an issue with consistent arousal.  I knew, however, I was going through puberty, and it would get getting overtime. By the time I reached 18, it had got worst to the point where I’ll be in class trying to focus with no success, something I experienced a spontaneous orgasm in class sometimes in the taxi home. I am now 25 years old, and it has not gotten any better for me, and I am so tired of living like this.  Please help. Thank you.
Monique
Hi Monique,
I am glad that you reached out for help. Have you been praying about this situation of yours? http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/ That would be my first suggestion.
After that, you might want to confide in your doctor. Maybe they could suggest something to help you.
Another thing you might want to look into would be to analyze if something triggers you when you get aroused.
Do you have a pastor or church you attend? That would be a good place to find support. http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
The last thing I can think of would be to find yourself an accountability partner to help you. http://needencouragement.com/accountability-partner/

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Monique, if what I have shared has been of help to you, I pray that you apply these things to your life and ask God to do good work in you. Do not give up. God can do more than you can imagine.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Keep praying, or if you have not been praying, start praying right now!
God Bless you,
Bill Greguska

 

 


 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: “Prayers needed.”

Bill,

Thank you for your response.   I am struggling terribly right now.  My blood pressure went high for several days, 178/111, so I did call my doctor.  He added a second medication.  I’m trying to eat but have a hard time swallowing now.  I know it is all in my head.   I’m still not sleeping, but I’m trying. I got more sleep today than I have in days. 
I am trying to act the same toward my husband.   We eat together and talk. I hug and kiss him like I usually would.  I tell him I love him as usual.  He does not say he loves me as he used to, and it kills me.  
He is under a lot of stress.  Yes, I guess I add to it.  I am the kind of person that “vents” about their stressful day at work or our grown children.  After venting, I feel better.  On the other hand, my husband keeps everything inside until it gets to a bad boiling point, and he resorts to attempting suicide or leaving me.  I know I’m not perfect, and I have things to work on, but I know deep down all the awful things he said to me aren’t true, although I hear those words in my head constantly.    
I want my marriage to work!!  And I love my husband with all my heart.  I will do anything to save my marriage.  My one friend says to be mean and show him what life is like without me.   I can’t – I love him too much. 
I am not sure how to go on each day.  My stomach is always hurting.  I pray many times a day.  I wish I still had a home church, but my husband would not attend. 
I’m sorry to babble. It does feel good having a person to talk to. 

Please continue to pray for my husband, myself, and our marriage.  I do love my husband, and I want to grow old with him.  
Thank you for “listening.”
Kelly
Good Morning Kelly,
I am glad that it helps to talk about this; at the same time, I need to let you know that your marriage situation will probably take some time to heal, and it needs some intervention of some sort. It is good to share your thoughts and feeling, but your husband is not getting support from anyone, such as a pastor or counselor. Your efforts might take longer than expected.
In the meantime, you take good care of yourself. Please go over the list I wrote to you in ways that can be of help to you. Do not lose heart, and if anything, without giving up on your husband, temporarily consider lowering your expectations of him and, at the same time, guard your heart.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
I pray that in this situation you are in that God uses it for his glory and your good and that you can not focus so much on your husband, but rather focus on our Lord Jesus and His will for you. Also, I pray that you can reach out to at least one or even two Christian women friends that can encourage you and point you to the Lord today.
I also pray that you do NOT dwell on your marriage problems ALL day, but rather, set aside an hour or so to pray and talk to someone about these things. (there is a battle going on in your mind, and it is from Satan himself trying to kill, steal, and destroy you). Put on your armor of Christ to extinguish the fiery arrows that Satan is shooting at you. James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.!
Make today a good day. Walk with the Lord!!!
Bill Greguska

Subject: Finding a church family, issues with ladies, and participating in an online, interactive Bible Study group
Message Body:
I would normally give you and everybody else my whole life history and what I had for breakfast in a window like this, but I’ll spare you that!  My main issues (which I think should only be addressed by free, professional counselors like yourselves) are the following points.  I can’t afford other professionals:
1. I’m 45 years old, single, and not involved with a lady at the moment, though I would like to marry a lady one day.  I have also been diagnosed with high-functioning autism.
2. I’ve been in the Palm Springs, CA area (zip code 92276) for almost a year, having left South Africa but am really struggling to find a good church family to attend.  I’ve tried Desert Springs Church, JPL Church, and even the Southwest mega-church but haven’t been comfortable with any of them.  I know COVID-19 has many places shut down right now, but my issues go further than just not having face-to-face contact with people.
2. I try to keep close to God every day and even tried – with only temporary success – praying The Lord’s Prayer every morning.  This problem is made worse by what I explained in point 1 – I’m not part of a church family, and I have no accountability partner to contact daily.
3. My job as a sanitizing clerk at the front door of Bristol Farms is conducive to me meeting my future wife, as many ladies who are supposedly my age go in and out.  However, whether or not they’re Christian ladies, I don’t know if it’s because of my autism that I can’t detect if they’re flirting with me or if they really are not flirting with me.  Why, then, do I read about so many ladies running to their mothers, crying that they can’t get a boyfriend and think there’s something wrong with them?  They should notice a good Christian guy when they see one – ME!
4.  I think it’s disgusting how I’ve witnessed so many ladies walking around in public in these skin-tight pants and low-cut tops to leave “it” all hanging out.  They might as well take everything off!  Needless to say, I’m so aroused I take the first opportunity to go home and relieve myself in my locked bedroom – you get the idea.  Who are these girls trying to impress or attract?  They won’t attract good Christian men like me – that’s for sure!  Also, how is it that girls fall in love with guys that appear to have come off the street, haven’t had a shower for years, and have these incredibly long dreadlocks??!!
5. One more point, and then I think that’s it.  Further to point 4, talking about relieving myself in my private, locked bedroom, I navigate Internet porn and watch things that I know would displease God.  I don’t regard it as an addiction, but I only seem to go to it when I’ve fallen off “the straight and narrow.”  During the days I was close to God and praying the Lord’s Prayer every morning, Internet porn went straight out the window.  But when I forgot to do this for even one or two days, I acted really “un-Christian” and returned to the porn.  Therefore, I do need a daily accountability partner.
I have other questions concerning ladies, but I’ll bring them up when you reply to this. Thanks for your professional help, and God Bless!
Roy,
Hi Roy,
If you are looking for free one-time professional counseling, you can go to https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/ since I am not the professional counselor that you seemed to have in mind.
But if you would like me to help you, email me back. I will get back to you as soon as I can. I have been a Christian for 35 years, and I could point you to God.
Lust can be a very powerful thing, but God can start to heal you if you pray about it. Here are a couple of pages from my website that can be of help to you.
Proverbs 6:25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.

 

Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Here is a link to help you find a Bible-believing church to attend. http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
Feel free to get back to me if you want any more help?
God bless you as you seek Him out each day!

Subject: Marriage problems
Message Body:
I am married, and my wife doesn’t respect me. You left me twice. She’s back because her name is on the lease. She has every right, and I want a divorce. I want to move on and find somebody else who is seeking God’s Kingdom.
Hi Edwin,
I have no problem at all believing that your wife has been disrespectful to you at times. Keep in mind that the fastest way to reconcile your differences with her is not to point out her disrespect of you, BUT rather take an inventory of how you have fallen short in areas of your marriage and be willing to admit to her what they are, and what your plan to do about it. That will soften her somewhat disrespectful heart more than you pointing your finger at her. Make sure you allow her to vent her frustration with you. There is no easy way to avoid that, and it needs to be brought out into the open.
Be a man and listen closely to what she says. If she says something true, agree with her. If she says something questionable, ask her to explain herself. If she says something untruthful, do not argue with her but ask her to explain your point of view. Having different points of view is not a bad thing. It only becomes bad when you dig in and start to argue and call each other names. It would be helpful to have a pastor or counselor guide you through your conversation, but if you invite the Lord to your conversation, that should also work. No matter how you do it, you ask for trouble without the Lord leading the two of you. Forgive your wife right now for being disrespectful, and let her know how you have forgiven her and want reconciliation with her.
Then after doing what I suggested, I can almost guarantee that your wife’s heart will soften to some degree, and she might even admit her faults with you. But until you, as the leader of your family, can admit your faults, there is very little chance that reconciliation will happen. So, bottom line, sit down with God, write on paper a list of a few things where you admit you have not been the best husband to her, and then, set a time aside to share your list with her and tell her with your own words where you have fallen short and why you want to continue to work on your marriage. Keep praying through all of this and even when things are better. I can only imagine your spiritual life went down the drain sometime in the past, and it is no time to bring it back to life!

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

 

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Edwin, I pray that God leads you to humble yourself and confess your shortcomings to your wife and that God starts working in your marriage again and, as a result, the two of you will reconcile your marriage will be better than it ever has. Been!
Bill Greguska

 

 

2956 best images about My Catholic Faith on Pinterest ...



Yes, it helped a lot, and I thank you for reaching out. All I can do is pray and let God be in control of my marriage. If it doesn’t go the way it should, she should leave or file a divorce. All I could do is try God bless you, thank you, Jesus, people who care like yourself.
Hi Edwin,
I am glad that you have reached out to us. You seem to be very hurt and agitated by what you call a lack of respect from your wife. I, too, have had marital problems, and my pastor Ron and his wife Sue Sauer listened to my complaint that my wife did not respect me either. I am going to mention that since you say that you “want to move on and find somebody else who is seeking God’s Kingdom.” but since you are a Godly man, you need to know that being disrespected is not grounds for biblical divorce.
First of all, I encourage you to pray about this each morning when you wake up. Also, I encourage you to ask God what He wants you to do. I know God hates divorce and only allowed it because of the people’s hardened hearts. Are you aware of this too?
Then I would ask your pastor to interview between the two of you or see a counter. That would be good too.
Think back and remember why you wanted to marry your wife in the first place. If you think that dumping her and getting a so-called “better wife,” you are not thinking. Clearly, divorce is the pulling apart of one flesh into two, and there will be scars and baggage that you will bring into another marriage with someone with their own baggage. Be wise and try to calm down, forgive your wife, get the help you and her need, and pull this marriage back together.

 

Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Believe me, when I tell you that I did all I could humanly do to keep the marriage alive, my wife too had some ways about her that rubbed me wrong, but we must not look at their faults. We need to admit our own shortcomings. My wife moved out for two years before she finally divorced me, my pastor and his wife advised me not to give up, and I did not. And to this day, I am so glad I did not divorce her because, as a Christian, it would have been an unbiblical divorce just like yours would have been.

 

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
I encourage you to take my advice and be a man and humble yourself to your wife, and if by chance her heart is hardened, let her be the one who divorces you. That way, you know in your heart that you honored God and can walk free. BUT LET’S DO ALL YOU CAN DO TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE ALIVE!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to email me back if you would like to discuss this any more with me. Please feel free to email me back. In the meantime, I want you to humble yourself before God and then humble yourself before your wife. I pray that what I have shared has struck a chord with you, and you will now have a new outlook through God’s eyes, and things will start to pull back slowly with your wife.
May God bless you, my friend,

Subject: Faith struggles
Message Body:
Hi, my name is Lola, and I got saved…I went through doubts about God’s existence and unbelief, and it was the worst, but God rescued me actually delivered me from that situation…but what I’m struggling with is thoughts..now these thoughts are driving me crazy that come to twist the truth of scripture. I don’t even know how to explain them, but these are the ugliest thoughts you could ever think of…and it’s put me in a difficult place ..for example, I was reading about how Jesus said that seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given into you, and then a thought came saying”He said that to lure the people “and other thoughts it is so horrible…I cried. I asked for forgiveness and mercy ..but I still feel so horrible…I’m this girl who found so much joy in Christ, and right now, I am absolutely broken…I don’t know if this is God’s discipline, but it hurts so bad. and I don’t feel like a Christian anymore. I feel horrible…unworthy, not that I was worthy in the first place…I don’t want to be an unbeliever, and that’s the fear plaguing me because of these thoughts. I just want to surrender and live for God, but I’m going through this suffering is horrible. I’m trying to apply the lessons I learned from my experience..but it’s hard..and the thing is, I’m plagued with thoughts ..telling me things like you’re not a Christian and stuff like that, and well, it’s horrible. I don’t want to live without God, and I find myself in a position where I’m confused and broken…I don’t know what to do..and I just need help…I’m lost. I need God right now or at least some practical advice..thank you.
Hi Lola,
I am glad that you have reached out. It sounds like you are having some struggles in your life right now temporarily. I say temporarily because this too shall pass. You know that Satan attacks us in many ways. One major way is through our minds. It sounds like he is tempting you by twisting God’s truth to get at you and harm you. Knowing this, you are not a victim. You are an overcomer because of what Jesus Christ has done for you.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself that hopefully will give you some help and direction.
  1. Have you asked God in prayer for Him to get these twisted thoughts out of your head?
  2. What have you been feeding your mind lately? (Good things or bad things)
  3. Are you praying and reading your Bible each morning when you get up?
  4. Are you drinking or using drugs?
  5. Are you watching a lot of TV or scary movies?
  6. Do you have any unconfessed sin in your life?
  7. Are you eating healthy?
  8. Do you drink enough water?
  9. Do you get exercise?
  10. Do you get 7-8 hours of sleep?
You mentioned that you don’t feel like a Christian anymore. Being a Christian is not about “feelings.” It is about a relationship with God based on His Word from the Bible. Do you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus came to this world to save you from your sins and that He died for your sins. That determines whether you are a Christian, not whether you “feel” you are a Christian.
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please email me back if you have any questions about what I have shared.
Ephesians 6:10-16Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
God bless you, and may He guard your heart and mind with His truth.
Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

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Subject: Prayers needed
Message Body:
My husband, who I’ve been with for 31 years, told me he wants a divorce and does not want to try to work it out.  I had no clue as I thought I was the luckiest gal to have such a perfect marriage and husband.  He tried to commit suicide a couple of years ago, and I’m afraid he is having a breakdown.  I love him with everything I have.  I want him to stay.  I’m heartbroken.  I’m not sure how I’ll go on.  Please pray for us.
Hi Kelly,
I am so glad you have reached out for help. This must be very hard on you. I am so sorry to hear what is going on in your life with your husband.
I would suggest that you stay calm and pray for your husband and wisdom to deal with what is going on. Let’s hope and pray that he said what he did out of frustration with his own life. I pray that he comes to his senses through the power of prayer and the Holy Spirit. Keep calm and trust in God!
Is your husband a believer in Jesus Christ? You may want to share with him some scripture if the timing is right, but be careful not to provoke him into anger. He is going through a lot right now, and you are correct in asking for prayer. What can your church do to help you guys? Maybe the pastor could organize some intervention for your husband?
Does your husband see a physiatrist or take medication? It sounds like he is somewhat fragile right now, so you might not want to engage in debate or emotional upheaval with him. Does he have a best friend that you can reach out to help your husband get reeled back in? Keep in mind that guys, in general, do not talk as openly about problems as women do.
Besides prayer and common sense. I suggest that you take care of your health (and encourage your husband to do the same without pressuring him). By taking care of your health, I noticed this email was Sent: 3:51 am, which tells me you are not understandably not sleeping well.
Kelly, here are a few practical suggestions to help you get by this coming week and month.
  1. Keep praying. Keep trusting in God!
  2. Reach out to your Chrisitan friends for fellowship and support.
  3. Also, contact your pastor.
  4. Invite God to be your refuge and strength. Psalm 46:1
  5. Don’t debate with your husband. Vent your feelings with a girlfriend or someone like our ministry, possibly a doctor too.
  6. Try not to take on more during this time. Keep your life as simple as possible. Be good to yourself.
  7. Make sure you try to keep your life somewhat “normal” as far as possible. Be wise with your schedule.
  8. Eat healthy food. Keep away from sugar and overeating.
  9. Get some exercise and go for walks along to pray to God or with a friend to talk about things.
  10. Get 7-8 hours of sleep, avoid caffeine, and ensure you are adequately hydrated with water.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful and you would like to talk more, please email me back. In the meantime, I pray that you take good care of yourself and ask God for wisdom, His wisdom, like in James 1:5. Also, cast all your anxiety on Jesus because He cares for you more than you realize.
Stay calm and trust in the Lord,
Bill Greguska
800-633-3446

—–Original Message—–

 

Subject: I need help concerning my life
Message Body:
I am a girl who lives with her parents, but the problem is my parents can’t provide me with everything, and I understand it’s not their fault. I always pray for a better future, but it becomes more difficult each day. I really need help!
Hi Rongai,
Have you prayed about your situation? Often we try to solve all our problems in our own strength. It is not bad that you want to find a solution, but it is important to go to God, the creator of this universe, first before we take things into our own hands.
I am assuming that you are from Africa with a name like Rongai.
Have you considered being content with what they can provide and help them in any way you can?

1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.
How about other relatives or friends that can be of help to you?

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please email me back if you have any other concerns. In the meantime, I will pray for you that you can find God’s peace and provision enough for you at this present time.
God bless you, and may He direct your steps,
Bill Greguska

Subject: Pregnant and unmarried
Message Body:
Hey. I don’t know if you are interested in reading this, but I’m pregnant and need some guidance.
Nichole
Hi Nichole,
I am glad that you have reached out to us. You made an excellent decision to seek some guidance. I hope you have parents who can support you, but if not, there are many useful Christian resources that I can point you to to find some help.
But before anything, the first place to go is to God in prayer, acknowledging that the baby in your stomach is a gift from Him, no matter how the baby was conceived. Thank God for this gift of your child, even though you did not plan it in this way. God knew, and He loves you and your baby more than you can imagine.
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
If you wish to share some details, I could be of more help to you. To get Christian support, I would need to know what city you are in. That would be a great start.
You have a very precious gift inside of you from God, do not ever forget that! Please feel free to email me back, so I can see how I can help you. I am praying for you that you can trust in God during this trying time. Nichole, you and your baby will make it through. Part of it is to lean on the Lord more than ever, for He is the one that will see you through. I hope what I have shared has been of help to you.

 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
God bless you,

 

Thank you for getting back to me! 🙂

And thank you for your prayers. It’s these prayers that get me by when I’m at my lowest. 
Well, I became a follower of Christ 4 years ago. I am turning 22 this year.  I had been faithfully keeping myself for marriage but made the mistake of dating someone who said I was Christian but had no intention of remaining pure till marriage. One night we ended fornication, and I really regretted it. That led to our break up because I informed him that I was not interested in having premarital sex again and became distant that was the primary reason for our break up. Nevertheless, he tried to force me to have an abortion, but I didn’t want to. (I am graduating with a B honors in economics this April). I intended to do my master’s this year but had to put that aside for a little while. Of course, I told my parents, and they were greatly disappointed. I plan on going back to school next year mid 2022. The baby would be almost a year by then. Most importantly, I did ask God for forgiveness, and I try to work my relationship with Him day by day. I wanted to talk to a fellow believer going through the same thing because I have no one around me who’s pregnant. My Christian friends and Bible study leaders have no idea, and I’m terrified to tell them and don’t think I ever will since I’m far away from them. I love this baby with all my heart and am excited about Their arrival. Thank you for listening to me! God bless you.
Nichole
Hi Nichole,
It is excellent to hear back from you. I want to let you know that I am so delighted to hear that you are a Christian. It sounds like you are on the right track by what you are saying in your email. Although you said, you are scared to tell your Christian friends and Bible study leaders. If you feel afraid to share it with them, I trust you have others to share with.
Your support system is something I am a little concerned about for you since you did not mention it. It would be best if you had people in your corner because without support. I am assuming that your parents will be of support to you. Your Christian friends will know eventually, but if they are true friends, they will want to help you through prayer and any other way they can. I encourage you to tell at least the ones that you are the closest with.
Jarrett, a friend of mine from the church I attend, is in a ministry with many resources to help pregnant women like you. If you wish to tell me what city you are in, I can relay that information to Jarrett, and he can share the resources he knows about to help you. I am not trying to pressure you at all, but I am trying to help you. It would be helpful to know what city are you in to help set you up with some resources? If you are not comfortable telling me, I can understand.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
In the meantime, here are a few things for you to consider doing:
  1. Keep close to God
  2. Thank God for your baby
  3. Read your Bible each day for at least 10-20 minutes or more.
  4. Pray and thank God for everything.
  5. Identify those people and resources that will help you.
  6. Have good communication with your parents
  7. Make a doctor’s appointment if you have not already.
  8. Consider taking prenatal vitamins.
  9. Eat healthily
  10. Drink enough water
  11. Get 7-8 hours sleep
  12. Do not smoke or be around smokers.
  13. Do not use drugs except medication from your doctor.
  14. Keep active and exercise according to your doctor’s orders.
  15. Enjoy the things you enjoy doing.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Nichole, please let me know how I can be of help to you? I pray that the Lord gives you clear direction and surrounds you with people who can help you and your baby. I hope to hear back from you.
Hi Nicole,
I reached out to my friend Jerrett from my church, and he got back to me and mentioned that there might be some resources available to you in South Africa.
Would you like to know more?
I will continue to keep you and your baby in my prayers.

 

Luke 18:1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.
Bill Greguska
NeedEncouragement.com

 

That sounds great. Yes, Bill, I’d like to know more.
Nichole
Hi Nichole,
When my friend Jerrett gets back to me, I will let you know what he says.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself and your health. Keep trusting that God has your life in His Hands!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

 

Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

Thank you, Bill! I appreciate it so much!

I’ll hear from you. Thank you once again 

Bill, we do have a family whose family supports us as missionaries in South Africa. I am not sure where they are stationed, but I can find out for you. 

Let me know. 
I would love to be a resource for you. 
Jarrett
Hi Jerrett,
Nicole responded and told me where she lives, but unfortunately, I am unsure what can help her besides prayer. Do you have any connections in South Africa?
I have gotten other emails in the past, like Nicholes. If I get someone from the United States, I will share it with you, okay? I would like to have you as a resource for other emails from pregnant women that I receive.
Thanks and God bless you!
Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

 


 

 

Subject: Re: struggling with porn
Message Body:
Hi, I need help. I am a Christian last struggling with porn.
Kui

 

 

Hi Kui,
It is good that you realize that porn is giving you trouble. The first step for you to take is to go to God in prayer and confess to Him your sin.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness and ask Him to take away the desire you are struggling with. You will not find much success on your own, but with God, all things are possible.
Understand that your temptation is not from God but Satan himself. Prayer and accountability are two things you need to practice. 

 

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

 

Listed are a few pages from my website that I am sure will be of help to you.
Check them out, and if you need any more assistance, please email me back with any questions you may have.
Pages to help you in general
Pages specifically about pornography
I hope that what I have shared has been of some help to you. I pray that the Lord gives you freedom from your struggle real soon and that you have the patience and strength to endure this struggle until it turns into a victory. There is hope for you when you call on the Lord!.
Psalm 116:3-5 The cords of death entangled me. The anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Lord, save me!” The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
May God bless you, and I pray that God gives you the wisdom and strength you need!
Bill Greguska

 

 


 

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
I need to talk about the conflict in my head and heart between the world and God.
Hi Ade,
I am glad you contacted us; feel free to let us know your conflict in your head and heart between the world and God. Have you taken your concern to God in prayer or looked up anything in the Bible about your situation? Maybe that will shed some light if you have already tried.
Feel free to email us, as we only counsel via email.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

Subject: Need help
Message Body:
I’m a spiritually inclined person, but I’m battling with masturbation. I guess I need counseling because I’ve tried countless times to stop, but it keeps overshadowing me. I’ve prayed and prayed, but I keep falling to that urge.
Also, I find myself trying to fall into sex that I have been avoiding since childhood. I get warnings from God and people around me not to fall. Praying to God has been helping.
But I need HELP.
I don’t want to fail.
Hi Ayo,
I am glad that you reached out for some help. You say that you are a “spiritually inclined person” (I never heard that expression before). It sounds to me that your faith is not real strong at this point. A word of advice can be found by reading what it says in Revelation 3:16. So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
It seems that if you put your focus on Jesus Christ, your enthusiasm for spiritual things would increase, and your relationship with God would improve too, which would help you fight this temptation you are wrestling with. You may think you are fighting only a physical battle, but you are also fighting a spiritual battle that can only be won by humbly asking God to break these chains.
First, I would suggest that you take time with God in prayer and ask him to give you the strength you need to avoid your temptations and walk more closely with God!
Here are a couple of links that I think will be of help to you:
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help to you. If so, feel free to email me back if you have more to say or have any questions?
I pray that you will ask God, who gives generously, and He will help you break the habit of being held captive!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: need someone to push me
Message Body:
Hello,
I need someone to push me to work harder and study better. Someone who could send me messages and remind me of my works can do the same vice versa.
Best Regards
Masoud Makian
Good morning Makian,
I am glad you reached out for some encouragement. My first thought is to ask you if you have prayed to God to ask Him for His help?
After you pray about your situation, you would greatly benefit from making an itemized list of the possible things that distract you or hinder you from your goal of working harder and studying better. Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
What do you think is holding you back from doing your best? http://needencouragement.com/distractions/
Do you have a close friend or pastor that can help keep you accountable? I could put you on our mailing list. We usually send out one or two encouraging emails per week that can also help you!
As you approach God, I pray that He will give you the wisdom you are looking for. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to contact us back.
May God bless you and draw Himself more closely to you,
Bill Greguska

 


 

—–Original Message—–
Message Body:
Help
Hi Ropah,
I am glad you have reached out for help. What have you tried to do to help yourself up until now?
Have you prayed about your pornography problem?
Here are a couple of pages you can look to for help.

 

Proverbs 6:25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.
I am praying that you take some steps to help yourself. Praying is the best place to start.

If what I have shared has been a help to you, please email me if you have any questions.
May God bless you and give you wisdom, hope, and strength!
Bill Greguska

Subject: Stress from Work
Message Body:
I need to speak with someone about stress.
Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Stress from Work”
Hi Justine,
I am delighted that you have reached out to us. My first thought was to ask you if you have prayed about your situation? If not, that is the place to begin!
With work, there is usually always some stress involved. It will help determine whether you are doing the right things to minimize unnecessary stress and resolve workplace problems.
  1. Have you prayed about your situation?
  2. Have you reported your problem to your supervisor?
  3. Have you determined how much you enjoy your job compared to how much stress you are experiencing? (pros and cons)
  4. Have you brainstormed ideas on how to reduce stress at work?
  5. Have you tried things to make things better at work with no success?
  6. Have you thought that your job might not be the right place of employment for you?
  7. If you have done all you can to relieve the stress and problems at work, it might be wise to look elsewhere for your employment? You will know after you pray about it and ask God what you ought to do? You need first to resolve your problems, yet finding new work might be a good option?
I hope what I have shared has been helpful to you. If it has, and you have more questions, feel free to email us back. (I am sorry, but we only use email, not the phone, to help others.
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
I will be praying for you, and I hope you also pray for yourself as well.
God bless you and that He may give you wisdom and peace!
Bill Greguska

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Anxiety
Message Body:
I am a Christian and am praying that God will deliver me. It makes me depressed I need encouragement to get me through.
Hi Elizabeth,

Well, I am glad to hear two things that you shared with me. One is that you are a Christian, and two is that you are praying. I am sure you realize that just because we are Christian does not automatically give us a free pass from all pain, suffering, anxiety, or problems in this world.


Ephesians 6:12-14 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.

My suggestion to you, sister Elisabeth, is to keep your eyes on Jesus, not the waves, keep praying, and get into your Bible and realize your strength comes from the Lord! Find someone in your church to help you; maybe your pastor or other Christian friends can be of help to you? Keep your health strong by eating correctly, getting enough exercise, enough sleep, and guard your heart.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please email me if you have anything else we can help you with?
My God bless you and deliver you from your anxieties and depression.
Elisabeth, keep the faith! It is always darkest before the dawn! 
Bill Greguska