Response Letters 4

Get your questions answered here!

Click on to view more response letters below.

Below are some of the questions people have emailed in to ask us about.

I am not a professional counselor, yet I have been a Born-Again Christian since 1986. Our responses are based on Biblical principles found in the Bible and through prayer and links to our website.

  • If you wish to ask a question of your own, please contact us.

 

 


 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: How to forgive to get forgiveness
Message Body:
Dear beloved sermon in Christ
For a few weeks, I am going through emotional and mental despair, feeling that my wife has cheated on me.
I love her too much, and I know forgiveness is the only action through which I may show my love to her. But I am devastated by Her past. She was afraid of being alone. That’s why she often hides something. I am married. And not feeling strong enough emotionally, I judged her and unfolded her dark past, which I have never expected to hear. Forgiveness is vital for a good relationship, but how ??? Often it seems very hard and sometimes impossible.
I am ruining my mental and emotional peace. It would be my privilege to suggest some steps to make things correct and less painful because I am hurting myself by doing wrong and hurting her.
Your beloved brother
Suyash

 

 

Hi Suyash,
I took some time to think and pray about your inquiry, and I came up with a question for you. Is there anything in your past that you have done that might devastate your wife? If not, you must have lead a pretty holy life, and I commend you for that because most people have a skeleton in their closet. I say this because we are to do onto others as we would want others to do to us.
Have you taken much time to pray about this situation concerning you and your wife?
Have you talked with your wife about your concerns? It would be wise to do so, and if you think it would be helpful to write it down to discuss, then that would be fine. Otherwise, just talk with her. Keeping your thoughts and feeling to yourself can backfire on you, but at the same time, guard your wife’s heart and be gentle with her!
I assume you love your wife, so remember what it says in. 1 Peter 4:8. Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins.
I can understand your devastation by learning something about your wife you did not know or would ever expect.
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Another profitable scripture to consider.
Luke 6:37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Does what you have learned about your wife’s past affect how she is today?
If what I have shared with you has been of help, please email me back to discuss this further.
I pray for your heart for your wife and that you can overlook her past no matter what she did in the past, particularly if what she did does not affect her behavior in the present. I would say that forgiveness is something needed dearly!

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–

Subject: Question about divorce
Message Body:

Hello me, and my wife separated eight years ago due to my finding out she had cheated. Now we were both living in sin afterward, dating others during the separation and living in adultery. I’ve just become rededicated to the Lord, and I’m trying to either officially close this chapter with her or reach reconciliation. However, after talking, she still wants to live in sin, so I guess my question is, do I have grounds for divorce?

Eric

Hi Eric,
I am glad to hear that you have rededicated your life to the Lord. Praise God for that!!!
As far as your situation, first of all, you probably already know that God hates divorce. Have you prayed about your situation? What is God telling you to do?
Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

You are saying that you caught your wife having sex with another man, and you separated from her because of that. Have you made any attempts to get back to her?
If your wife cheated on you and she admits it, that is grounds for divorce. BUT that does not mean you ought to rush to get a divorce. As I said, God hates divorce, so for that reason, you ought to make some effort on your part to reconcile your marriage. That would be the right thing to do. Whatever you decide or do not decide to do, you will reap the benefits or consequences of your decision.
Again, I would pray about this for a few days or weeks at the very least and see what the Lord puts on your heart to do?
Since you have become rededicated to the Lord, you need to go to God in prayer and search the scriptures to find out what you ought to do?
I pray that God gives you wisdom and that you follow what he leads you to do.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
May God bless you and give you a clear understanding of what He wants you to do.

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–

Subject: Relationship Problem
Message Body:
Hello. I am currently struggling with something in my relationship. I discussed with my boyfriend about boundaries and a Christian relationship. I explained how much it meant to me to remain a virgin until marriage (also no spending the night or living together etc.), and he said he agreed. Still, he had already gone that route with someone else, and it caused a relationship problem, which bothered me because I feel like that’s going to affect us in the long run, or I will never be good enough for him. I’m kind of stuck rn and unsure how to move forward (together or not).
Hi Heather,
I am glad you reached out for advice. First things first, have you been praying about this situation that you are in? It is always wise to go to God first before asking other people, including myself, for their thoughts and options. I hope to help you with your situation.
You are very wise to know ahead of time what you value. I think your decision concerning your boyfriend can be simplified, in my opinion:
  1. If you trust him that he will stay faithful to you and will lift you, not tear you down, (then cautiously move forward.)
  2. You need to get to know and trust him more before you give your heart entirely to him (and your body after marriage)
  3. Make mention to him that if he does not stay faithful to you, then you are gone. (he has a history, are you willing to forgive him?)
  4. If he insists on sleeping over or having sex before marriage, then you are gone (he is being led by his flesh, not by God’s spirit.)
  5. If he does not show love or respect towards you, then you are gone. (if he can not love or respect you now, marriage is not a magic fix)
  6. I am all for marriage (but I am not willing to say anything to warn you because divorce is excruciating, I know.)
  7. I am not saying your boyfriend is not worthy of getting to know better, but I need to let you know his intentions might be selfish, but you will need to figure that out for yourself.
God knows what is best for you, Heather. I also think that in your heart, you know if your boyfriend is in your best interest or not. Do not feel that you will be alone for the rest of your life if you lose him, but if he is not best for you, you will be dodging a bullet that you will be thankful that you did.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
The bottom line, we do not have a crystal ball or can foresee the future, so a part of this situation needs the test of time. God has a plan for your life, and if your boyfriend is a part of the plan, you will know because it will feel right and match up with God’s will for your life. Keep in mind that you are in control of your relationship with your boyfriend. Be wise.
If he is worthy of you, you will clearly see that, and if he is not worthy of you, you will also see that which is what you possibly taste right now, it seems. If you love yourself enough and love him too, you will invest the time you need to get to know one another better. Do not rush into marriage. Give it at the very least one and a half years to get to know one another and see how well you work together as a couple.
I would also suggest seeking a Christian couple to help the two of you walk through things that have already gone through dating and marriage (you do not have to reinvent the wheel). You can learn from others who God puts in your life.
Here is a general page about dating. I think you will find it helpful. http://needencouragement.com/dating-related/
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back if I can be more of a help to you.
May God bless you and give you peace and wisdom,

Bill Greguska

 

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Subject: I am under spiritual attack
Message Body:
I have sinned since being saved I drank too much and I have stopped completely now for 2 months I just feel pressure and I don’t know what to do the devil is ever-present.
Frank
Hi Frank,
Congratulations!!! I, too, had a problem with alcohol and also drugs when I was younger. I remember the first month was the hardest for me. I stuck with it and put God as my highest priority, and He put the people I needed to help me in my path. I have been clean and sober since June 25, 1986, after drugs and alcohol did great damage in my life from the time I was 16 until I was 26. I am glad you reached out for some assistance. Remember that our recovery and our walk with the Lord is not a solo endeavor. We need God and one another.
  1. Do you pray each morning when you wake up? http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
  2. Do you read your Bible?  http://needencouragement.com/how-to-read-the-bible/
  3. Are you attending a church right now? http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
  4. Are you involved in a support type of group for your addiction? http://needencouragement.com/my-drug-and-alcohol-problem/
  5. Do you have someone keeping you accountable? http://needencouragement.com/accountability-partner/
  6. Are you taking care of your health, diet, exercise, sleep, avoiding stress? http://needencouragement.com/healthy-food/
  7. Do you have any unconfessed sin in your life? http://needencouragement.com/list-of-sins/
  8. Do you need to forgive someone who has harmed you in any way? http://needencouragement.com/how-to-forgive/
These questions will help you take some of the pressure off from the spiritual attacks you are having. Remember that:
Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
If what I have shared with you has been of help, please feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I have said. I pray right now that you keep your eyes on the Lord and get into His word and pray each day. Avoid people and places that might set you off to drink again. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Proverbs 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Cost
Message Body:
Do your services cost anything? Joe
Good morning Joe,
Thank you for your inquiry. Our website ministry does not cost anything. We have pages of information in the form of links, videos, and text that will help you in the areas of life that you or someone you know is struggling with.
Take some time to look through to see what can be of help to you. If you have any more questions, feel free to contact us again.
May God bless you and keep you strong!

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–

Subject: Overcoming fear
Message Body:

Hey, so I’m working on overcoming overthinking, fear of the future, and being positive, and I saw on here where it says fear of the Lord is good, but what does that mean? That scares me.

Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,
Thanks for contacting us, and your question is a good one. I could say that the Scripture says the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and wisdom is to depart from evil. That means we must avoid evil or anything that lures us to do evil or wickedness.
Here is a 2-minute video that can explain what is meant by the fear of the Lord. https://youtu.be/kd8RGuetrBA
I have been a Christian for some years, and one of my strengths has always has been not to be afraid to ask a question about something I am not sure about, just like you did with your inquiry about the fear of the Lord. If you do not have a church and are interested in finding a Bible-believing church in your area, visit this link…http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/. You can get many of your questions answered in the church by the pastor and fellowship with others.
It is wonderful that you are overcoming overthinking, fear of the future, and being positive. One scripture that comes to mind first would be Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
One more that might be of help to you would be James 1:5. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope what I have shared with the scriptures and what I wrote, and also the video has been able to answer your question for you. If it has, and you have any other questions, feel free to email me back. Also, here is an excellent website called GodQuestions.org that can answer many more questions for you. It is apparent that you are seeking truth and trying to improve your life, which is fantastic!
May God bless you and reveal Himself to you more and more each day!
Bill Greguska



—–Original Message—–

Subject: My friend is ashamed
Message Body:
Hi, my name is Hannah. My best friend recently sends nudes to a guy who she liked. He pressured her continually to send them, caved under, and feeling dirty and ashamed. She is not a Christian, and honestly, I don’t know if I am either. I was raised Christian, and God had taken away some shame I’ve felt about sin I’ve done in the past, but I feel so bad for her and wish I could take all her pain away. It makes me so sad because she’s so insecure about her body, and I love her so much and want to help her, but I don’t know-how. I suggest she forgive herself, but she says she can’t, which I know can’t happen in just one day. What should I do? Hannah
Hi Hannah,
It is kind of you to want to help your friend, although your friend needs to deal with what she did. You mentioned that she is not a Christian, and you do not think you are either. As for you, do you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Do you believe that He died for your sins? Do you think you are a sinner and need a Savior, or else you have to pay the penalty of your sin, which is death and separation from God?
Here are a useful link and video concerning forgiveness http://needencouragement.com/forgiven
As far as your girlfriend feeling guilty, that is only normal. God created us all with a conscience, and she did something that she knows was wrong.
It sounds like you want your girlfriend to get over her guilty feelings, yet if she does not have God in her life to help her, I do not know what can suggest except for you both to become Christian. If you or your girlfriend were Christians, you could trust what it says in God’s word in 1 John 1:9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If either one of you wants freedom from the guilt of sin, then accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is what I suggest both of you do.
If what I have shared with you sounds interesting, feel free to email me back if you want more information?
I pray that the Lord touches both of your hearts and draws you near to Him!

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–

Subject: I need spiritual help asap
Message Body:
Hello, my name is Kevin. I’d like to meet with the pastor in person if & when that’s possible. I have to deal with a LONG struggle for almost 20 years now & see no way out & have gotten no way out up to this point. My problem is I’m wearing down tire of this curse, black cloud, bearing the cross whatever it is it’s been it’s becoming ridiculous & starting to take its toll My faith is past smaller than a mustard seed & I’m becoming VERY ANGRY with God, and yes I know that’s the last thing a person should do or that anybody wants to hear a person say!
But I am tired  & fed up with the pain & constant rain & no advancement in life no soul mate, works HARD for small amounts of money, no joy/ happiness no real friend no real-life & then thing going wrong at the same time almost 20 years this has been my story no matter how hard I work & pray nothing seems to change & now over the last few years I’ve been told I’m diabetic do to family members having it, I finally got my blood pressure down, I have high blood pressure, asthma, sleep apnea, insomnia and now depression & anxiety, going bald, etc. why does God hate me so much? I’m not sure, but I’m starting to hate him just as much!!!   
I have done nothing but do my best to be there for others, be a good-hearted person, help everyone I can when I can, even animals, but yet I have been the outcast/underdog all my life, the ugly duckling, not that I super mind it. Still, the no-pay off, no advancement, no breakthroughs, and not putting this cross down is killing me!!!
Kevin
Hi Kevin,
I am glad you decided to reach out. First of all, I am not a pastor, but I am a Christian that has walked a road similar to yours. Now that the churches are opening up, I would suggest that you find a church to go to so you can hear God’s Word. Here is a link that will be able to help you find a church in your area. http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
In the meantime, I strongly suggest that you pray and ask God for wisdom and patience. Here is a link that can help you if you need some help with prayer. http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
James 1:5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
You and I do not have a crystal ball to know why things have happened in your life and my life the way that they have. So that is why I suggest that you take all the concerns you have and give them over to God and let him direct you. Having a pastor and church to attend and a pastor learn from and lean on will help you.
An excellent friend of mine emailed me this video below, which I am sure you will benefit from.
Kevin, if what I have shared has been some help to you, feel free to email me back if you would like to.
May God Bless you and make Himself more known to you!
Bill Greguska

1-800-633-3446


—–Original Message—–

Subject: Did God’s sovereignty intend for my believing husband to commit adultery for two years?
Message Body:
John, I am 68 years old, a believer since the age of 9, and married for 46 years, trying very hard to apply the whole concept of sovereignty, which was not taught to me, to my personal story. My born-again husband, and professional Christian counselor, committed adultery for over two years. Words could never describe the total and complete shock and pain I have dealt with, nor the redeeming grace and mercy of our ABBA in bringing forgiveness, healing, and restoration to our marriage. My husband has been genuinely repentant, broken, and changed forever.
But when I study the whole concept of sovereignty, such as in Joseph’s life, does that apply to my story? Did God INTEND  for my husband to turn his heart against God, break his covenant of marriage, betray all he knew to be true and right, lose his career and ministry at the age of 70 because somehow God meant it for good? I can see where God has redeemed and uses it for good, but I can not accept that God ORCHESTRATED this. Please help me understand. – Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I am sorry to hear what has happened. At the same time, I am glad that your husband has repented and the two of you have restored your marriage. Praise God!
I would disagree with what you mentioned that God orchestrated the adultery to happen, but instead, I will say that God allowed it to happen since He gives us free will to choose good over evil. Your husband (no matter the fact that your husband was a professional Christian counselor) is still a sinner, just like you and I are sinners that God has saved by the sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ.
I found some information from a website that I trust a lot that hopefully will give you some insight into God’s sovereignty.
You are a good wife to forgive your husband’s foolishness and sin. According to the Bible, you have grounds for divorce, but God hates divorce, so I say to you that you are a good wife and your husband wise to repent from his sin.
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Yes, I am sure this is not what you had planned to happen, but it did, and we all need to realize that our flesh is weak, and we need to stay close to God in prayer, Bible reading, fellowship, confession, repentance.

Mark 14:38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Since your husband has a spirit of repentance, you both need to come together, put all pride aside, and pick up the pieces of your marriage and use it as a testimony to those that know you as a witness to the love that God has for both of you and each other.
Luke 11:4 Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.’”
I pray that you can put this behind you and not let Satan tempt you to have it recalled to your memory. You will probably need to do as it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I pray that is set back will be only that, a setback and that you and your husband of 46 years, with God’s grace and mercy, will strengthen you to continue to move forward in marriage vows.
If what I have shared with you has been of help, feel free to contact me back via email.
May God bless you and strengthen you with His grace and wisdom!

Bill Greguska

 


—–Original Message—–

Subject:
Message Body:
yeah, I’m looking for counseling but unable to fill out the counseling call back form via a focus on the family. I’m in Canada so do I just keep looking on google cause I have been doing that on and off for like three years tried to reach out to a few but no luck, so any help. Jared
Hi Jared,
I am sorry to hear you are struggling to get a counselor. Did you consider contacting your pastor? Maybe he could sit down and talk with you? If you do not have a pastor or church, here is a link to find a good Bible-believing church in your area. http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
Also, here is a phone number. They are not counselors, but they are Christian, and their ministry makes phone conversations. The ministry is called Need Him. The phone number is 800-633-3446
I am not sure why Focus on the Family was not able to communicate with you?
Since you seem to need someone to talk with, let me ask you if you have taken your problems to God recently?
If you need to bounce something off of me, and what I have said has been of some help to you, feel free to email me back, and maybe I can be of some help to you?
God bless you and trust Him to comfort you and give you wisdom.

 

Proverbs 30:5 “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–

Subject: I AM HURTING AND NEED LOVE
Message Body:
I NEED SUPPORT AND PEOPLE TO LOVE ME AND I NEED PEOPLE TO LOVE ME PRAY FOR MY MONEY NEEDS TO BE MET AND PRAY FOR ME NOT TO BE ALL ALONE AND THANKS FOR BEING A FRIEND AND PRAY FOR PEOPLE TO BE AROUND ME THANKS. CHRISTY
Hi Christy,
It sounds like you are in a storm right now. The first thing I would suggest is to stop right now and pray to God. Tell Him what you are going through, and ask Him to give you the wisdom you need to get through this time. James 1:5 If anyone f you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
The next thing I would suggest is to contact your pastor and ask him for help. If you do not have your own church, check out this link to find a good Bible-believing church for yourself in your area, which will not only expose you to God’s word but will supply the fellowship you seem to need. http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
For your physical need for money, I would suggest calling 211 and talking to someone there to help you with that need. You can also call
800-633-3446
Lord, I pray right now that Christy can find comfort in you and your word. I pray that you could draw some good people into her life. I also pray for Christy’s financial needs. Lord, you love Christy, and you will not leave her or forsake her, give her patience to trust you, Lord, for ALL of her needs!
If what I have shared with you has been of help to you, please email me back if you have anything else on your mind that I can help you with. BUT make sure you pray and ask God to give you the wisdom and direction that you need.
May God bless you and comfort you during this time you are going through.

Bill Greguska


Subject: Need to speak to someone I am troubled
Message Body:
I was sexually assaulted and need to speak to someone on how to move forward and just cope.
Nicky
Hi Nicky,
It is a little hard for me to mention this, but if you did get pregnant, I pray that you keep your child. There are places that can help you bring the child (if you are pregnant) and walk with you along the path. Have you reported this to the police yet? Or is there fear involved in doing so?
Here are a couple of pro-life links that will give you comfort and guidance.
Please get some support for yourself, and at the same time, keep in mind that if you do get pregnant, you will love and cherish your little one, and God and His people will help you along the way. This is my prayer for you!
Please feel free to keep in touch if you need more help.
I mentioned them because they can help walk you through this situation, but I should have looked a little closer into their site, which I just did, and I need to make you aware that they might want to lead you to get an abortion, which I highly do not recommend. So please look at the links above that I shared with you just now. Also, I have a link on my site called.
http://needencouragement.com/abortion-remorse/ This link will give you a reality check about what happens to the women who do get abortions. I pray first of all that you are not pregnant, and second of all, if you are pregnant, that you will carry it out to full pregnancy, have and keep your child, and if you feel you can not raise your child, then adoption is the loving option.
I pray that God’s loving arms are felt by you right now!
Bill Greguska

 

Hi, thank you I asked so many people everybody is directing me to someone else,  but thank you.

Nicky
Hi Nicky,
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, but I am glad you choose to reach out for help. I would suggest that you call 800-656-HOPE (4673)  or online chat https://hotline.rainn.org/online and also contact their website below for the information that can help you.

This would be my best advice besides thanking God that you are okay, ask God to give you the wisdom to know what to do now. I pray for you, and I know that as you trust God, He will direct your path.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

May God bless you as He walks with you through what you have experienced.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Church gossip?
Message Body:
I am becoming increasingly frustrated with my church; it’s a Baptist Church. I genuinely love everyone in the church, but it is clear many members in my small church disapprove of me. They are very caring towards my son, and that’s wonderful, but I feel if I didn’t attend at all and only he went, they would be ok with that. I have noticed the women will take turns reaching out to me as a friend, and I will talk openly and honestly, and then much of what I say is then in my pastor’s sermon the next week. Then the friend stops talking to me for an extended period.
I know several members think I am not properly saved. I was asked to tell my story by the pastor’s wife, how I got saved, and the pastor mentioned in his sermon several times since those elements in my story are not how God works with me, though. I leave church feeling like garbage 60% of the time.  One woman snaps at me over the most straightforward statements. I was shunned for about two weeks until I approached someone and asked what I had done? Why was everyone ignoring me? She told me it wasn’t me And not to worry about it.
Is this how the church is? Is this how God works?  I thought I would find a community where otherwise, I have no one in the area I moved to. I have been attending the church for a year. I have made every effort to ” be good” I am afraid to talk to anyone about what is going on with me because it will end up in a sermon it’s a small church. If they’re telling the pastor, does everyone sitting around me know! And I’m just sat there like a fool! I believe that Jesus loves me and cares for me, but I don’t think there’s a place for me among his people.
Thank you
Beth H
Hi Beth,
I have coined an expression for what you are talking about in your email. “People are people.” I am assuming that you are sensitive like I am. It is regrettable that those who call themselves Christians and behave in such away. Remember that we as Christians need to try to be more and more like Jesus, but unfortunately, everyone is different in their faith walk.
You are feeling 60% like garbage because it has not been resolved. You need to take some pro-active steps starting with prayer!!!
You are right without a doubt that Jesus loves you and cares for you, probably more than you even realize. It sounds like you are asking me for my advice. I will give it to you, but please pray about what I say before you do anything.
  1. One of my concerns is for your spiritual heart not to become hardened, Matthew 6:15, But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
  2. My advice to you is to pray about this each day, asking God for His wisdom and insight into what is happening, and if there is anything on your part, you could find something you need to address with God.
  3. Pray for those “Christians” who have been making your life more complicated than it needs to be. When we pray for someone, God hears our prayers and will intervene, remember that the Lord is the Best Defence Attorney that there is!
  4. Go to your pastor to inform him of what is going on. Maybe he can do something to help you? Perhaps he would allow you to address the church on a Sunday?
  5. Romans 12:18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not allow your hurt feeling to cripple you.
  6. After doing all you can do to make peace with your church, and there is no improvement in the situation, there is the option to confront each of those people peacefully. 
  7. The idea is to stay at your church, but leaving is an option if that is not possible. Make sure no matter what, if you decide to leave, I will make sure that the pastor knows what happened and leave peacefully if all you have tried fails. Also, you do not loan your lips to the devil and slander anyone. Just speak the truth in love.
  8. James 1:5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
  9. If what I have shared has been helpful, please email me back if you think it would help.
  10. I pray that you will be able to resolve this situation and no matter what, you will be a better person for doing so.
May God bless you and give you wisdom and peace!

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–
Subject: Help
Message Body:
Hi my name is Joseph I’ve been praying for me and my ex-girlfriend Victoria to get back together ever since December and now she’s with someone I’m still in love with her she’s everything to me I feel lost without her I know I have God on my side I believe in God I believe in Jesus and I have my faith in God and Jesus and it’s strong I pray to them every single day I wear my crosses please pray for us to get back together.
I pray to God for him to reconcile mine and his relationship I pray that he helps me through things he has granted me my prayers before he has answered them before that helps me with my faith of thinking about the things he’s answered for me I know that this is a big one for him to answer for her and me to work this out she’s everything to me also I handed things over to God I pray to him to take us things over I don’t know if I pray to him in the right way for him to take everything over is there a certain way that I have to pray headed to take my worries over. 
Joseph
Hi Joseph,

Things do happen, and the ball is in her court now to decide what she is willing or not willing to do. I have been where you are, and the sound advice is what I already gave you in the other email. Here are a couple of scriptures and some more information to be of help to you.
1 Peter 5:7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.


Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Hopefully, she will forgive you and be willing to work things out, but if she is ready to forgive you but not willing to take you back, that is possibly the other scenario.
Please do yourself a favor, and take care of “Joseph” right now. Concentrate on what the Serenity prayer says:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
In addition to the serenity prayer, here are a few more ideas to focus on.
  1. Focus on your relationship with God
  2. Focus on your other friendships
  3. Focus on your job
  4. Keep an open palm with Victoria. If the Lord puts her back with you or not, be open to His Will.
  5. Make sure you get some exercise to combat the stress in life.
  6. Find things that you enjoy, and do them.
  7. Make sure you eat healthy foods.
  8. Make sure you avoid alcohol and drugs.
  9. Be sure to get enough sleep each night, 7-8 hours.
  10. Stop obsessing about Victoria (attempt to write her a letter or call her to determine if she wants you back or not)
  11. Let all the results be determined in God’s timing and His Will, not yours.
You will be alright. Just keep calm and level-headed with your eyes on the Lord, not Victoria!

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: “Help”

We broke up because I had a mental breakdown, and I took everything out on her. It was a day back in October I was being overworked with my job. I was depressed because she was no longer living with me due to my brother’s wife’s issues, and she said something to me. I forget what it was, and everything just came out, and I took it out on her, and I never meant it. I never wanted to break up with her.
I had a mental breakdown, and I had everything from her. When I see her walking somewhere, she stares at me. When I see her walking alone, she never looks happy; she always looks miserable. We broke up. After all, I did it by accident because I had a mental breakdown, and I never told her what was going on. I should have in my heart. I believe that she and I are getting back together in my heart. I think that we can work this out. I know she still loves me the way that she looks at me when she’s walking. I asked God for signs. There are things I see after I asked him for signs. I had visions of me and her getting back together, visions of me and her having a family together. I pray every single day for us. I know she’s the one.
I know I feel, and I believe that she and I are not done yet. I think that our story together is not over after I accidentally broke up with her. She was contacting me up until about two weeks before Christmas, and because of everything going on with me, I shut down, but she still talks to my family is. She still asks my family about me. I know my heart, and I believe she’s the one I have tried to move on, and I cannot. Something stops me tells me it’s wrong. I am genuinely in love with her with all my heart, and I believe that we will work this that we are going to get back together. I just need prayers for her and me to work this out.
I need a miracle prayer for her and me to get back together. I know we’re meant to be the first time I saw her. I knew that she was the one I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. I remember exactly what she was wearing and what she was doing when I saw her for the first time, stores I can’t go into because I get too emotional because that was where me and her went. I enjoy fishing. I stopped going fishing. That was our thing. Some things just seem wrong for me to be doing without her I need a miracle prayer for her, and I get back together with you. Please give me a miracle prayer, please.
Hi Joseph,
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this past relationship issue. You say that you have been praying about your situation, what do you hear God prompting you to do? It is apparent that you still have deep feelings towards Victoria. There must have been a reason why you guys broke up, and until that is resolved, there is probably not much that you can do. It has been almost seven months, and it might be time to either talk with her about your feeling or move on with your life.
Sometimes God allows a door to be closed, but it always seems that He has another door ever better to be opened. God will help you through this situation by either allowing the two of you to talk things out, or help you move past her.
In the meantime, keep praying to find GOD’S will rather than focusing on your own will. I can understand that it is hard, but there is a good chance that she has moved on obviously with a new boyfriend. That does not mean you can not talk to her one more time to attempt to resolve things, but after hearing her wishes, you need to respect whatever she wants.
If you do get to talk with Victoria, MAKE SURE YOU TALK LIKE A GENTLEMAN, AND ALLOW VICTORIA TO SPEAK, AND DO NOT ARGUE, OR BECOME UNRULY, IF YOU DO NOT THINK YOU CAN DO THAT, THEN BETTER LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE.
There are many fish in the ocean, and I pray that the Lord will open the right door for you. Until then, keep walking close to God each day, reading your Bible, praying, and trying to do His Will.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to email me back if you have anything else you would like to discuss. No matter what you decide to do, or what happens, I wish you all the best and I pray you grow closer to God because of what you decide.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Advice
Message Body:
My question is, how will son and father be able to keep a bond with God. When I was younger, I had a kid, and I didn’t understand many things. Still to this day, I get confused. But I never got my child circumcised, and now I read the bible and know plenty of mistakes on how to go about this situation. God bless.
Alley
Hi Alley,
It sounds like you are on the right path in life since you said you are reading God’s word! None of us are perfect. That is why we need a savior in Jesus Christ. Do not worry about having all your questions answered today. A relationship with God is an everyday thing that will last until we are taken home to heaven by God, then we will be with Him for eternity.
As far as your question about circumcision, here is what the Bible says about it in 1 Corinthians 7:19, Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
I hope what I have shared has been helpful to you. If it has another question, feel free to email me back, or you can go to GotQuestions.org, and they have a wealth of wisdom and Christian information that can help you in your walk with the Lord.
Here is a link that I think will be of help to you. http://needencouragement.com/good-works/
God bless you as you keep growing closer to Him!

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Update on Question regarding Adultery

Hi Mr. Greguska,
I have to be honest with you. I do not have a friend who her husband has cheated on. I am the Wife that has been cheated on.
I really need someone to talk to. I made a decision not to tell Family and Friends. It would just become a source of gossip and condemnation.
There are other aspects of our lives we have to deal with.
Thanks, Lisa
Hi Lisa,
My advice is still the same.
  1. Pray.
  2. Get a pastor or counselor to get involved.
  3. Set boundaries.
  4. Have your husband regain trust.
  5. Work things out.
It sounds like you do not trust your husband, and I can understand that.
If you would approach him requesting that he does not see that woman anymore, what would he say?
Is there any reason that your husband needs to be around her? Employee or?
If you do not trust that he would not get angry or verbally / physically aggressive towards you, then for sure you need a pastor or counselor to help you!
What I have already mentioned, you might want to re-read and think about. It is hard to give you much more advice not knowing more details, but I think I have shared the truth with you for you to be able to make up your mind on the next step you need to take.
It is unfortunate to hear what you are dealing with, many women would get a divorce, but you love him despite his unfaithfulness. Yes, healing is possible, but not if the sore keeps being pulled off by your husband and girlfriend. If your husband will not cooperate and insists on still spending time with her, he is not committed to you and your marriage.
I am against divorce, but if your husband is not willing to take any steps to regain trust, your options are cut.
BOTTOM LINE: PLEASE GET A PASTOR OR COUNSELOR INVOLVED ASAP.
I can only coach you to a degree, but you need a third person to negotiate between you and your husband. It is not a lost cause if you become proactive and get someone to help you guys!
  1. You did not tell me, or did I ask if your husband said he was sorry for what he did?
  2. Have you forgiven your husband?
  3. Have you been talking about the incident since it happened?
  4. When you ask him why he needs to spend time with this woman, what does he say?

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I pray that God gives you wisdom and courage to do what God wants you to do about this. When you pray, what do you hear God saying to you?
Here is a phone number you can call 800-633-3446 (if you do not get an answer right away, try again later)

Bill Greguska


—–Original Message—–

Subject: Step Parent
Message Body:
I’m dealing with a step Parent that I have to live with no other choice. I realize my stepfather might not be happy I’m there, but life happens. Anyway, he’s always talking down to me as an adult and me. Though I live with my parents, I try hard to respect them. But the constant berating makes it hard to respect him, and when I bring it up to him, I’m somehow to blame.
He gets mad at me and demands I respect him. I tried to turn the other cheek and love him, but that only made the situation worse. I’m trying to recover from drug addiction and realize I have trauma I haven’t dealt with healthily. I opened up my hurts to God, and I feel vulnerable. What am I to do, and please pray for me? – Jerry
Hi Jerry,
Thanks for reaching out. I know that dealing with parents or step-parents can be challenging at times. When my 80-year-old mother got remarried, I had an angry stepdad. His personality went from mad to happy more often than you could believe, but usually, he was furious. I put up with him because my mom loved him, and I loved my mom. I pray that God gives you the wisdom to know how to handle things better than you have been. Here is a brainstorming list of things that might be of help to you.
Look these ideas over and try to implement as many as you can.
  1. Offer to help him around the house.
  2. Step aside when you see that he is getting on you.
  3. Ask to set up a time where your house members can all talk with the TV off and open to finding solutions.
  4. Please do all you can not let him push your buttons.
  5. Ask him to clarify what he wants out of you.
  6. Do not raise your voice or get an attitude.
  7. The things he is yelling at you about, can you do anything about it?
  8. If you can do something, then do it.
  9. Write down on paper what you think he is trying to say to you and share it with him;
  10. If he is upset about your drug and alcohol abuse, I can understand, but what are you doing to help yourself?
  11. What does your mom have to say about all of this? Can she be a peacemaker between you and your stepdad?
  12. Take some time to think if what your stepdad is complaining about if there is any truth to it?
  13. I am not sure of your age, but have you considered moving out?
  14. Are you paying any money to live at your parent’s house?
Jerry, if what I have shared with you has been of help, please feel free to contact me back, and maybe I can be more helpful to you? I am praying for you.
May God bless you and give you wisdom and patience,

Bill Greguska


Subject: Relationship
Message Body:
Hello, I’m having doubts even though engaged to be married in six months please get back to me. I need to speak to a believer about my situation.
Josette
Hi Josette,

I am thankful that you have been praying about it. It is nice to get people’s advice, but it is always best to ask God what He wanted in your relationship. You said you have talked about abstaining from sex until you get married. He has agreed, but remember what it says in Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (If you are totally honest about it, you know it is going to be extremely hard for the two of you to obtain if you are still living together which is what I am assuming).
Lord willing that the two of you can work out all your issues, and you do plan to get married in 6 months to a year, you might strongly consider moving into your parent’s house for at least 3-6 months while you and your boyfriend continue to date without any sex before you decide to get married. I guess that he would not like this idea, but it would be a test to see if he really loves you or what?
Josette, in a nutshell, both you and your boyfriend need to decide who you will serve? It is pretty simple and straightforward as it says in Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
It’s just the excessive drink that bothers me, which I have talked to him about, will do soon.
If you were my daughter, I would be concerned about his drinking too. You might want to make it a condition that he stops drinking for at least 6 months to a year before you would consider marrying him. If he chooses alcohol over you, you will know where his heart is at. If he takes your warning seriously, then he might be worth marrying. I am sorry that you are in this position, but you need to be wise and stand firm now because once a person gets married, the real person comes out. I am sure you would not want someone who is a practicing alcoholic as a husband and ended up in a divorce that you have been given a warning to ahead of time by myself and others you have talked with.
I am very seriously talking to you because marriage is a solemn institution that takes a great deal of teamwork between husband and wife and God.
I might be wrong, but it sounds like you are locked in since you are already living with him, and to move out would be a big ordeal. But I am warning you. It is better to have his cards and all your cards on the table with him now, rather than ending up in divorce court.
Pray to God each day this week about it. If you get a clear answer from God, great! If you do not get a clear answer, then keep praying.
I strongly believe that many couples invest more time buying a car, computer, etc., than they do getting ready for a marriage, which is why the divorce rate is so very high. Please avoid being a statistic. As I mentioned, I was divorced, and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Please take my word in what I am sharing with you. It is better to stand firm and stand-alone rather than become yoked with someone you are not sure where to lead you. You have the time now to think, pray and wrestle with all these things. Believe me. Divorce leaves an ugly permanent scar. I have been divorced for 14 years, and I know what I am talking about. I do not want you to say yes to marriage because of convenience or compromise. You need to go into a marriage with both eyes opened wide.
Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

God made it very simple and clear for us…
He gave us two basic things to remember!

Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

 

 

 

Thanks, I have been praying about it but have never thought to ask God what He wanted my relationship to be like, so thanks for that. I have talked about abstaining from sex until we get married, and he has agreed because that one I’m not compromising. It’s just the excessive drink that bothers me, which I have talked to him about, will do soon. 
Thank you, and God bless you.
Josette
Hi Josette,
I am glad that you have reached out. I have an advantage over you in this situation because I can see things more objectively compared to you since you have 6 years invested in him. So let me start by giving you a shortlist of things to consider.
  1. Have you prayed to God about this? If not, that is where to begin. http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
  2. Do not think you are going to change him. That is not your job, and you will possibly be very disappointed and angry.
  3. Pray about what God wants in your relationship to look like, and use that as your goal.
  4. If your boyfriend is not looking out for your mutual best interest, then you need to even though he is supposed to be the leader.
  5. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? I would write out a few things to guide the conversation.
  6. When you have prayed and thought about your boundaries with your boyfriend, share them with him and see if he agrees? http://needencouragement.com/set-boundaries/
  7. If he is totally against what you are proposing to conduct your relationship, that might be a flag for you to move on possibly.
  8. I have been married and divorced, and I wish our pastor asked more questions before getting married. If so, I might not have married her, and in turn, not divorced.http://needencouragement.com/prevent-divorce/
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
If what I have shared with you, and if you have any questions about what I said, please feel free to email me back if you have more questions.
God bless you,
Hello Bill,
My story is long, but I will try to summarize it. So I have been dating this amazing guy for 6 years and engaged for almost two years to be married in 6months. We both grow up in a Christian household, but I decided to follow Jesus two years ago. However, it was tough for me to leave my past life, like sex before marriage, not being truly transparent with the guy, and everything else. One year ago, I started seeing the changes in me as I started reading the bible and talking to fellow Christians. When this happened, his drinking habits ( anytime he is not at work) started bothering him and me wanting sex and not talking about the Word with him. I’m scared that what if this continues when we get married where he is just drunk all the time and can’t talk about God with him! But my other thought is that what if I’m judging him? God who changed me can change him as well to produce good fruits in him. Plus, someone told me that God was going to use me to change my family. What if he is my family that God told me about? I’m so conflicted. He goes to church and all other religious things, but I want a marriage of Ephesians 5 and someone who takes instructions from the Lord Himself.
Sorry for the long email, and thanks for any response. And pray for me as well.
Josette

Hi Josette,

It is very wise that you have reached out for advice about the second most significant decision you will make. Only your decision to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior are bigger!
Since we do not do phone calls, you can email me to describe what you are thinking and feeling and why you are concerned. I will encourage you and give you  Christian advice to help you make up your mind for yourself.
Wow, that was great advice. Thank you so much, and I’m so sorry to hear about your divorce.
I will do as you say to ask him to stop, and hopefully, he sees where I’m coming from.
I also don’t live with him; I never have. I just made the mistake of sleeping with him before marriage, but I won’t anymore (we are both in two different countries).
And thank you for your advice on praying. I’m praying this whole week and fasting probably until God answers me.
Thank you so much
Josette

Hi Sampath,
You say that you are from India, although you did not mention anything about having faith in Jesus Christ. The only help I can point you to is that of Jesus Christ being your Lord and Savior before I believe you can have any real, lasting success in battling Pornography.
1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Here are a couple of links that will get you started in your recovery.
Here is a phone number you can call to talk with a Christian who can help you. 800-633-3446
Sampath, I pray that God gives you the strength and self-control to gain some small victories in your battle against pornography. You need to want help and be willing to follow the Lord in this effort. Stay away from all temptations that drag you down. You can have victory, but remember that it will be a battle for you, but all things are possible with God. I pray that God gives you the grace you need. If what I have shared with you has been of help, please email me if you have any questions I might be able to help you with.
God bless you,

Bill Greguska



—–Original Message—–

Subject: Pornography
Message Body:
Hi, dear team. I am Sampath from India, struggling with pornography addiction past couple of years. I need specific counseling to commit, and I need to please God with my body and soul, and I need someone to confess my sin, and I need someone to help overcome my addiction.

Hi Candice,
Thank you for reaching out to us. Our ministry uses communication via email only, so please let me know what is on your mind?
To briefly respond to your concern about unforgiveness. God sent his Son to pay for our sins. Having faith in God, we are covered by the sacrifice that He made for us.
John 3:16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall
not perish but have eternal life.
Candice, you say that you feel like you have done something that even God can’t forgive. The only thing that I am aware of that is unforgivable mentioned in the Bible is blasphemy.
“Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit” is conscious and hardened opposition to the truth, “because the Spirit is truth” (1 John 5:6). Conscious and hardened resistance to the truth leads man away from humility and repentance, and without repentance, there can be no forgiveness.
In a religious sense, blasphemy refers to great disrespect shown to God or something holy, or something said or done that shows this kind of disrespect; heresy refers to a belief or opinion that does not agree with the official belief opinion of a particular religion. Both words are also sometimes used in general, not necessarily religious, contexts.
Matthew 12:31 And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.
It would be very extreme if your heart were so icy that you would blasphemy the Holy Spirit. We all sin against God regularly. That is one of the biggest things about having a relationship with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
About blasphemy, only you and God know for sure. Still, I would guess that you are under condemnation for some sin you have committed or are committing that you did not confess to God about, and Satan is working hard to destroy your relationship with God.
1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please contact me back, or you can call 800-633-3446, and someone hopefully can get to you to talk. You might need to try calling several times because they are a group of volunteer Christians who try to point people to Jesus Christ and have been very busy lately.
Candice, another option is to check out this link and see if it would be of help to you.
God bless you,

Bill Greguska



—–Original Message—–

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
Kindly please contact me. I need help during this time. I’m finding it difficult to wait on God. I feel like I’ve done something that even God can’t forgive.

Hi Mary,
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your son’s father. As far as talking to someone on the phone, we correspond via email only in our ministry. I am sorry if you expect to talk on the phone, but that is how we are set up.
If your son has a specific question or concern, please have him contact us, and we will get back to him as quickly as possible. Does your son know the Lord as his Lord and Savior?
Are you or your son Christian? If so, I encourage you to pray and ask God for wisdom on how to handle your situation? If you are not Christian, I encourage you to look into it as soon as possible.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Also, this Psalm has been a comfort to me in the past.

Psalm 121:1-8  I lift my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Mary, If your son wants to contact us, please encourage him to do so. In the meantime, I pray that the Lord will comfort him and direct his way. Here are a couple of links that might be of help.
God bless you and your son during this difficult time in his life. I pray for comfort from God for your son’s loss of his father.

You can call to talk with a Christian about your faith and the death of your son’s father on the phone by calling 800-633-3446




—–Original Message—–

Subject: grief counseling with a male Christian counselor
Message Body:
My husband, my son’s father, recently passed away, and he is having a challenging time with the grief. Is it possible for me to set up a phone counseling session with a male Christan counselor?
I believe if I can get it set up, he will talk with the counselor.
Is Bill Greguska available for this type of counseling?
Thanks for any assistance you can provide.

Hi Misgana,
I have found great strength and peace when I am walking with the Lord. In my life, when I have decided to take the steering wheel back from God, my life has suffered because of it. We need to submit ourselves to God and allow Him to run our lives. No longer can we afford to run our own lives.
Another thought I had, was to “KEEP IT SIMPLE” What I mean by that, it that if you are falling into sin in a certain habitual way, do not go down that road. Avoid it like the plague!!! You might still grab the steering wheel back from God, but hopefully, it will be less and less. Addiction is not easy to break, BUT it can be done, and it is so much worth it!!!
I can not say with 100% assurance that your addiction will go away today (that would be awesome if it would), but for me, it was a constant thriving to want to be free from drugs and alcohol, and sure enough, on June 25, 1986, the Lord freed me from my addictions. I struggled and fell a few times, but I kept getting back up. I prayed to God regularly, I had support, I had faith, and I was determined. Praise God that He rescued me from myself and my addictions. I know that God can do the same in your life Misgana, set your mind to do so, and keep following God!
I can say with 100% assurance that when you pray, God hears your prayers, and he will answer them, we have no crystal ball to know the time of the day, but I know for sure that God is faithful. This, I know, without a doubt!!!
Here are a couple of links that I think will be of help to you.
Keep on praying and reading your Bible. Plus, if you know someone who is a Christian and would be willing to help walk with you through this time in your life, that would be awesome! It is like being back on the playground and having someone help defend you from the bullies on the playground. We all need someone. I have a couple of Christian friends that I can go to with my problems and concerns. Sometimes just talking about it helps a lot. Other times, getting feedback helps a great deal too!
I will continue to pray for you. Please continue to seek after the Lord in prayer and trust Him to direct you in the way you ought to go and protect you! Keep trying, Misgana. You can do it, and if what I am sharing is helpful to you, feel free to email me back.



Bill,

I need help in my life, for I am ashamed of telling anything bad to anyone. I am facing a problem. I know Jesus is full of mercy, but I couldn’t live a life that he deserved, I couldn’t be holy as I supposed to be, I am looking for someone to guide me to the lord of mercy and someone to tell about all my bad habit and get help.
After I’ve read it, my life showed changing. I think I am in a good mood. as long as this addiction is with me, I won’t feel free forever, just for a few days before it comes again. Thank you so much for everything. What would you like to add?
Misgana
Good morning Misgana,
I think that you might have a misconception. We do not have to make ourselves good first before we can come to Jesus. I suggest you get your thinking straight and come to God as you are (a sinner, just like me) and let the Holy Spirit work in you. You do not need to get good first to allow God to help you.
It sounds like you admit you are not strong enough to beat this problem, that is why you need Jesus to help you right now. (not wait until you get your life cleaned up, you need Jesus now!
Please think about and pray about what I just said…and read Romans chapter 6 (the whole chapter) and, in your own words, try to tell me what it is trying to say to you.
Romans 6:6-23
Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ
6 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3 Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.
8 Now, if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.14 For sin shall no longer be your master because you are not under the law but grace.
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19 I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Misgana, read this chapter at least twice to make sure you understand what you read, and then let me know in your own words what it is saying. Understanding this will be a good start for you to have God remove your sins, shortcomings, and addictions! Our flesh is too weak. We need God’s help!
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: “asking for advice.”

I do have some addiction. I want God to take away those habits from me, I tried so much by myself, but I couldn’t manage to get out. When I start living the right Christian life with holiness and being given to him, then I get tempted, and I again find myself in a thing I left. I want to go further with you if you are willing to help me.

Misgana

Hi Misgana,

We all have things we are ashamed of. It is good that you are feeling shame for whatever it may be. Romans 3:23

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Do you plan to turn away from whatever sin you have been committing? In God’s word, the Bible says in1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I have given you a couple of scriptures to think about and apply to your life. You did not say much about what you did, but you want to stop doing it, then ask God in prayer, and He will give you the strength you need to overcome whatever it is. If what I have shared with you has been helpful to you, please feel free to email me back. In the meantime, pray right now for God to help direct you and help you turn away from your sins.
800-633-3446
May God give you the wisdom and strength to help you.

Bill Greguska


Hi Hep,
Thanks for reaching out. I just want to tell you that you are not alone. Addiction to cigarettes can be challenging (yet very possible to quit, I quit back in 1988 after struggling for a couple of years).
I can tell you for sure that you need to change your thinking concerning cigarettes. They act like your friend, but they are NOT YOUR FRIEND at all.  Cigarettes will not only steal your money, but cigarettes will steal your health!
Have you prayed about your wanting to quit smoking to God? That is where I would start if I were you!
Having someone to keep you accountable is very wise, someone you must report to and talk with if you are struggling. Unfortunately, I need to be honest with you. If your addiction is powerful like mine, you might have to quit and backslide a few times before getting it right. BUT DO NOT GIVE UP. YOU CAN QUIT…
Is there some way you could move out of your home since it seems to be a terrible trigger for you! Maybe find a roommate who does not smoke and move in together. If I were trying to quit smoking again, I would not want to be around smokers at all, even if they were my own family.
Another thought is to chew sugar-free gum as much as possible, also have something like a lollypop or pen in your hand to give your hand something to focus on instead of cigarettes. Have you considered buying the nicotine patch?
Your quitting smoking partially depends on how badly you want to stop. If you think it is a good idea to stop, that most likely not be enough to do it. You have to want to quit very badly and willing to do anything to do so.
Here are a couple of links that I put together to help others quit smoking. There is a lot of useful information on these pages, good videos, and links. If what I have shared has been helpful and would like to email me back, please feel free to do so.
I pray that God takes away your craving and desire to smoke like when you were in college. Remember that with God, all things are possible. I have been cigarette-free since January 10, 1988, and I smoked between 2-3 packs a day. I have faith in God that you can quit too!!! BUT DO NOT GIVE UP. YOU CAN QUIT…
One day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time because they all add up to being cigarette-free! You can do it!!!

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Help from addiction
Message Body:
I want to be free from tobacco addiction. I tried several times,  been impatient. My problem was when I was away from home for my studies for 11 months, I was OK without having tobacco, but when I came back home after a few days, I got into the habit. The thing is because smoking is always around at home since one more member is using it. So it’s my weakness. Where will I go, where will I stay to be free? Maybe I am not strong.

Subject: How counseling works?
Message Body:
Hi, I just wanted to see how counseling works and if it is really free? Thank you so much!
Hi Giana,
I am glad you decided to reach out for help. There is no shame in doing that. It actually is a very wise choice.  To answer your question, there are three ways to get counseling:
  1. Chat unlimited. https://needhim.echoglobal.org/chat/Got_Questions
  2. Focus on the Family one-time free counseling. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
  3. Email, by replying to this email, I can listen to your concerns and give you good advice from the Bible and from my life experiences both as a Christian that I have been since 1986 and also from lessons I learned from living in the world that I know better than doing any more. Often the conversations I have with people via email go back and forth a few times until they have a better grip on what they need to do.
Gina, it is your choice, all 3 ways are free (except #2 first counseling is free, but there is a fee for the second counseling session)

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
If you would like to ask me any questions or let me know anything so I can help you, feel free to do so. I look forward to hearing back from you.
May God bless you,

Bill,

 

Thank you so much for answering back. I tried the chat, but no one was available. I just need some encouragement and scriptures on healing from a broken relationship. 
Hi Giana,
I know it isn’t easy when a relationship ends. I have broken up with many women in my life and also one wife. It hurts, no matter if you initiated it or your partner did.
If you want to think about it, I would suggest any positive things that will come out of it. Obviously, you or your partner thought it would not work out, so if that is the case, you would just be trying to force a situation that maybe God did not want to happen. Try to be thankful for the time you had together and what he meant to you for that season in your life.
You will probably want to wait until you heal a while before considering a new relationship.
I would also suggest that you stay around people who care about you and encourage you. Make sure you eat healthy, get some exercise, get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, forgive anyone who has done you wrong, and also ask forgiveness for anyone you might have harmed in any way.

If what I have said has been of any help to you, please email me back if you have any questions about what I have said. This too shall pass, believe me!  Giana, I pray that you go to God and allow Him to comfort you during this time!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

Thank you so much for this encouragement and truth!! It’s been really hard, and I felt like it was the lord we were together, and then things happened that caused us to break up, and it’s just been so hard because I have known him for so long, and I have been going to the lord with it, but I have had dreams about him, and it’s just been so sad and difficult. I thought I heard the lord on this, and maybe I did, but now it’s like the Lord wants me to trust him and surrender it again. And when I think about him and our relationship, I feel like there is hope for maybe the future, but I don’t know if it’s false hope or not. Thank you for hearing me out and for practical advice. 
Hi Giana,
Obviously, I do not know all the circumstances between you and your ex, but when you mentioned, “I Still feel like my Ex will be in my life, but I don’t want to have false hope again and try to will something that is not for me.” I feel the need to warn you that you may feel committed to do the Lord’s will, but your ex is someone you have no control over his thoughts or feelings. I say this because I fear that if you really do not want him in your life, you need to make a clean break from him.
You do not need to explain yourself to me unless you want to. I am just sharing this because I believe of your thinking, it might come back to you and bite you! (I may be wrong, and you might know what you are doing), but keep in mind that there are consequences for every decision you make, either good or not so good. I am just trying to look out for you since you are vulnerable in your emotions and thinking.
Ephesians 5:15-17Be cautious, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
I am sorry if I have spoken too assertively. I think you are playing with fire, keeping your ex in your life circle if, in fact, you think he is not good for you or right for you, which is why you broke up. But I encourage you to pray about this for the next few days, and I am sure the Lord will give you insight into what to do or not to do.
God bless you, and I pray that God gives you wisdom and strength!

 

The lord is continuing to speak to me through your messages. Thank you so much for this message. I have noticed the battle it has been and how the enemy looks to keep me trapped. I Still feel like my Ex will be in my life, but I don’t want to have false hope again and try something that is not for me. I am taking each day as it comes and trying my best to give it all to the lord and really cling to him. 

 

Hi Giana,
I am so glad things seem to be falling into place for you! Remember that your battle is a daily battle that you can NOT win in your own strength. You need Jesus, and you need to be in prayer daily, in your Bible daily, and fellowshipping with other believers to help strengthen you and for you to help them too.
It might benefit you to read over the emails that I corresponded with you to review them and refer to them later on. The devil is not going to be happy that you are going to the Lord for your help. You need to be on guard, for the devil is like a roaring lion waiting to devour you and me. Do not be afraid, but keep your Armor Of God on from Ephesians 6:10-18. Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
I trust that the Lord will be watching over you, and you will be fine as long as you stay close to Him.
God bless you. Let me know if you need anything else.
Bill Greguska



This has been a huge blessing to me. Thank you for the scriptures and for the help with finding more. Lord has been so good, and something has shifted in my heart and is continuing to do something. Praise Jesus! I have been staying community and continuing to fight the battle with peace and fierceness! Thank you for your prayers. I believe the lord has been breaking through. 
Gina
Hi Giana,
Since it sounds like you broke up with him, and if you still feel you love him and can trust him, you can remain broken up, but be friends with him, and “if in time” you see him in a better light, then you can revisit the situation. It would be easier to be either in or out with him, but I would play it on the safe side if I were you. I just wanted to add this since I obviously do not know all the details.
But I can tell you that YOU are in charge no matter what you choose to do. If you were my daughter, my main concern would be for your safety, happiness, and whether or not he points you to God or away from God. Plus, if he can support you and you trust him. Keep in pray…http://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/.
Right now, I think the answer is to keep a safe distance from him for a while and allow him to reach out to you. If he does, and you trust him to add to your life rather than subtract from your life, then you could at some point revisit things on a very elementary type of rebuilding terms.
If you have doubts that you know that you have not shared with me, then I would stick to your decision and release him from your life, but forgive him and refuse to hold a grudge or any resentments. Otherwise, you will not be free, and your next relationship will suffer because of it.
Also, be a little extra kind to yourself during this break-up time, be wise and gentle with your emotions.
Reach out to a close friend and spend some time with them. You do not have to talk about the breakup necessarily, but just spend some time with them and enjoy each other and laugh a little. Remember that laughter can be some of the best medicine, second only to prayer! Check out this page from my website. http://needencouragement.com/need-laughter/
I pray that God gives you the wisdom to make a wise decision and stick to it with no regrets. Think of it this way, if you are having problems now, if you did get married, think about how many marriages turn into divorce?

I trust that the next time you pray, that God will make His will known to you very clearly, and you follow His will…

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Hi Bill, It’s been a while since I have sent an email. I have been really struggling since after my break up, and I wondered if you could send some more scriptures that talk about the healing of the heart and having faith in the lord. Thank you so much! Taking that scripture to heart. 
Gina
Hi Gina,
When you say that you have been struggling, that is not necessarily a bad thing because it means that you are still trying and have not given up if you look at it that way! I trust that you have been praying and surrounding yourself with people who care about you. It will take some time for you to heal, but it sounds like you are on the right path.
Keep yourself busy with productive things such as daily Bible reading, prayer, fellowshipping, exercise, eating healthy, sleeping 7-8 hours a night, and avoiding alcohol and drugs. Make sure you fill your day with some humor, and with all these suggestions, keep your eyes on the Lord from the time you wake up until the time you go to sleep.
Below are a few scriptures about healing that you asked me about. I pray that they speak to your heart and mind.

Psalm 147:3-4 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Isaiah 57:18 I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel’s mourners,
Jeremiah 33:6 “‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
Matthew 6:22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.
Mark 10:52 “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
Lamentations 3:22-24Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
It is good that you wanted some scriptures about healing. I want to help you one step further by teaching you how to get any scripture topic that is on your mind, by merely going to Biblegateway.com and insert whatever word it may be (for you, I used the words healing and heal), which gave me a list of scriptures. Now, you will be able to look up from the Bible whatever is on your mind and in your heart to find out what God’s word says about it.
Keep on plugging away. Your healing is closer than you might realize. Remember that struggling is not a bad thing, it means that you are active in battle, and your victory is near.
I trust that the Lord is working in your life, keeping your spirit up, and keeping your eyes on the Lord. Use this breakup time as a time for healing and regrouping yourself with God’s help. Look at it as an opportunity to get to know yourself and God better, and then in God’s time, He will put the right people in your life, do not rush the process. Just go along with the prompting of the Lord! I pray that your pain will continue to lessen, and you will find a new joy in the process that God is allowing you to go through.
If what I have shared has been helpful, and if you would like to ask a question or share more, please feel free to do so.
God bless you as you walk with Him each day,
Bill Greguska
Bill,
Thank you so much!
Hi Giana,
Yes, I pray for you, and I also pray for your Ex. Here is a scripture that came to my mind when I read this email.

 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Now walk in God’s grace and not worry about things since you live in God’s will.
Bill Greguska
Thank you so much!! Yes, to Jesus be all the glory, I am thankful for the encouragement!  One last thing I can think of is would you pray for me and my healing but also my Ex, I have felt very worried for him, and he loves the lord, but I pray he makes wise decisions and clings to the lord in this time. I know I have to focus on what the Lord has for me, but he has been on my heart a lot. 

 

Hi Giana,
I am so happy that I could be of help to you, I understand what you are saying, but in reality, you need to thank God because He taught me through my own life experiences and His word, and also what others have shared with me, what I felt that you needed to hear.
Thank you for letting me know. That started my day on a good note! 
I pray that you too someday soon, in your own way, can encourage someone else as I have encouraged you. (through God) 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Giana, I am very happy for you! If you have any more questions or need to share any more, please email me back. Now get out there and do your best by doing God’s will, and you will continue to find more joy by doing so as the days go on!
One more thing to remember…ESV Matthew 10:16 “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
P.S. If you are not involved in a church right now, here is a link to help you find a good Bible-believing church in your area. http://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/



You have no idea how much encouragement this brought! Thank you so much for every word and advice. Thank you for the scriptures too! Thank you, Bill!