Response Letters 7

Need Encouragement

Here are more response letters from people who have emailed in with questions. I use only first names and guard each person’s privacy. You can encourage others too. You do not have to be a pastor. If you know the Lord and desire to encourage and help others, you too can be an encourager.

 


Hi Kristina,
I am glad you reached out for help. I want to congratulate you that you are expecting a baby! What a blessing!
Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? Smiling face with halo
My first thought is always to pray about whatever comes our way. In your case, the problem with a coworker can be very stressful, especially in your condition. After you pray, you do not just have to take abuse, and if you have already attempted to try to resolve things with the coworker without any success, I would strongly suggest that you bring this up with your supervisor and get this resolved. The extra stress is not good for you or your baby. I am sure you realize.
Check out this link. An excellent video on it helps me when I get a little stressed out myself. https://needencouragement.com/stress/
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back if you have any questions about what I have shared with you. I pray that God directs your steps and you get this resolved asap!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Bill Greguska Pray

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Stress and Anxiety
Message Body:
I am expecting a baby, and I am worried because I have been struggling with anxiety and depression. I have a conflict with someone at work, and the harassment has led to a lot of stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. I am a Christian and have been praying about this situation, but it is still taking a toll on my emotional and physical health.

Kristina,

This e-mail was sent from a contact form (https://needencouragement.com)

 

 


 

Hi Rebecca,
I am glad you have reached out for advice. My question to you is, “Have you prayed to God about this?” That is the right place to start. There is a scripture that comes to my mind after reading what you wrote. That scripture is
Proverbs 4:23  Above all else, guard your heart. For everything you do flows from it.

You need to start to think more highly of yourself, most people think too highly of themselves, but you need to speak God’s truth into your life, such as

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
If what I have shared has been of help to you, please email me back if you have any questions about what I have shared. In the meantime, I pray right now that you can take all your concerns to the Lord, and He will give you the wisdom that you need.
God bless you, and I pray He draws you more near to HIm to realize how special you indeed are in His sight!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Need Guidance
Message Body:
Hello, I’m having a tough time loving myself. When other women are praised around me, I feel like a failure. I try to be other women so I can be accepted and praised as well, but when I try to reach that goal and fail, I’m just back to feeling like a loser. I know it’s a deeper meaning to why I react with envy because I’m not as qualified as other women or Godly enough. I want to learn to love the person God created me to be. When I’m compared to other women, I won’t get offended or hurt about it, to the point that I’m crying, asking myself when I will be good enough. I need counseling, but I don’t have the money to pay for one.

This e-mail was sent from a contact form (https://needencouragement.com)

 

 


 

Hi Kendra,
A couple of things to keep in mind are the keys to how things will turn out.
  1. First, pray every day with your husband. Then, ask God for what you need!
  2. Second, make sure you are on the same team. Your daughter will pick up on divisions.
  3. Even though you love your daughter, she is not your friend. First, she is your daughter first.
  4. Have your ears open and choose what you both are going to say in unity. Be humble yet confident.
  5. Do not be afraid to say no to your daughter.
  6. Do not be afraid to do what is right with your daughter.
  7. Set up your rules after praying and seeking wise counsel, and then stick to them.
It would be best if you fought wisely for your daughter’s sake. It is kind of like a war. It would help if you were prepared, have ammunition and resources. There might be some anxiety or hurt feelings, but if you keep your eyes on the Lord and follow HIS marching orders, not your own or your daughters, but HIS marching orders, you will come out on this on top. Keep in mind that your daughter has free will and also keep in mind that no matter how much you and your husband love your daughter, your marriage relationship must come first only behind your relationships with GOD,
I pray that all goes well, and it would be nice to hear back from you to let me know how things are developing with the three of you.
God bless you!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–


Dear Bill,

 Thanks so much for your wonderful, encouraging advice and website! I appreciate you taking the time to address these important issues and the related Bible verses to reflect on. You bring up some valid points, and I’ve shared your email with Dave.
 I just began working with a counselor (independent from my daughter), as my husband has told me, “you keep doubling down on what’s not working,” so I want to open the door to improved parenting realizations to start with. (I’m not good at the fun part/too intense, for one thing). I want my kids to respond to me in obedience as they do to Dave. On a positive note, I just finished a helpful group Bible study, as well, and pray daily for my kids and at night with them. I am seeking fun ways to connect with my daughter, so she’s more receptive to me (this is working) as her mother, and we connect better! The preteen/ teen years can be challenging.
Could I ask your prayer team to pray for my husband, Dave? That he would have the heart to take the reigns a bit more, support me, and be a more willing prayer warrior? He is a conservative Christian but not a regular church attender or Bible reader. I think it is important to him to preserve his relationship with my daughter, and he’ll generally pray with me leading prayer. We both want well-adjusted, happy, healthy God-fearing kids and discuss this regularly.
Blessings,
Kendra

 

 

Hi Kendra,
My first bit of advice is for you to begin praying about this situation with your daughter each morning with your husband. The second bit of advice is for you to team up with your husband in an untied force. The third thing is to set up a time for you and your husband and daughter to sit down and talk this out.  It seems as though you might have accidentally given your daughter too much say in things, and she has lost some respect for you. Finally, since your daughter is usually angry with you, not your husband, have your husband be the so-called “bad guy” and have him lay down the law instead of you. This situation is between you and your husband and daughter, so it ought to try to be resolved by you guys first and foremost. Not to get Christian counseling involved right away.

Proverbs 19:18  Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
I would try the suggestions I have given to you before doing anything else, such as changing schools, getting Christian counseling. Try this for a couple of weeks and see if there is any noticeable improvement. If not, then, by all means, get Christian counseling involved. What does your pastor have to say about your situation?

Proverbs 22:6  Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.
If what I have said has been of help to you, please feel free to email me back with any questions about what I said. I will be praying for you that whatever your daughter’s problem is, that when the three of you talk in length (at least an hour or even more) that you can start to understand what is going on in her heart and head. Most likely, this has been brewing for quite some time, and now is the time to ask God to help you and your husband work together to make things right again.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Keep in mind that she is only 12 years old, and being your daughter, she needs permission to do things while she is in your home, such as using the computer, cell phone, curfew, allowance, etc.  All these things can be taken away from her if she refuses to cooperate and live by your house rules. It might sound a little harsh, but I strongly believe that parents are afraid of upsetting their children, so in turn, they sometimes tend to spoil them. I hope this is not the case with you and your husband. Please make sure you get your husband on board with these plans. There is power in numbers. Otherwise, I am very sorry to say your chances are not that favorable for much-lasting success, happiness, and peace in your family.
Remember to pray about this every morning with your husband, and you will find that some breakthroughs will begin to happen. Also, when you talk with your daughter, make sure you ask some strategic questions and allow her to talk as much as she needs to. I pray that what I have suggested gets implemented, and the Lord works things out for all three of you!
I am 60 years old, and I raised 2 kids. My motto with them was to be Firm, Fair, and Fun. That is very general but very encompassing at the same time! So again, I can not help but emphasize the importance that you and your husband work TOGETHER!!!!!
God bless you and your daughter and husband!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Coaching regarding relationship with distressed 12-year-old daughter
Message Body:
Hi. I’d like some advice re: connecting w/my preteen who will not listen to me and has told me she does not like me. She’s angry (usually with me and not my husband) and is on social media too often. I am concerned she is depressed. This is very disturbing to me as I love her and want a good relationship and be happy and healthy. I need advice on the next steps (change of school for next year possibly & how to get her into Christian counseling).
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

 


—–Original Message—–

Subject: I need help from God with everything. My life is a mess. And there is nothing I can do to fix it.
Message Body:
My name is Elinor. I’m a 56-year-old disabled widow living on sci. I need a substantial financial miracle so I can move to PA. I get 1309 a month, so I  can’t afford it. I’m desperate to move  God is the only one who can help me.
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

 

 


 

 

 

Hi Christy,
I pray that God directs you to find a way off the streets. I have a couple of ideas for you, in addition to keep praying. First, remember that God loves you and has a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11-13  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
My suggestion is to contact these organizations and let them know what state you are in to help you.
I hope that these three organizations can be of some help to you. I pray that something soon opens up somewhere for you.
I also pray for your health and medical problems. Here is a link that can be of help to you.
I hope the information that I shared with you will help you. If you have any questions feel free to email me back.

God bless you and keep you strong!

Romans 10:13  for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: I  NEED HELP TO GET OFF THE STREETS
Message Body:
I NEED HELP AND LOVE TO GET OFF THE STREETS, AND THANKS FOR BEING A FRIEND, AND I NEED PEOPLE TO ENCOURAGE AND LOVE AND SUPPORT AND PRAY FOR CHRISTY CLEGHORN NOT TO DIE OF CANCER AND DIABETES AND LONELINESS AND PRAY FOR CHRISTY CLEGHORN NOT TO DIE OF LONELINESS AND PLEASE HELP ME, AND I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK TOO THANKS
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 


 

Hi Corinna,

 

I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling with depression. I, too, struggled with depression twice in my life. Once when I was in high school and the other time in 2005, when my wife moved out of the house for two years and then finally divorced me. I know the crippling effect that depression can have on a person, and I know you do too.

 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

You are correct to say that God can help you overcome this depression, but do not be tempted to know better than God with what you need and do not need. If you have been taking your depression out on yourself and your kids for a while now, you need to look at why you are depressed? And how you are going to manage the depression before it gets worse.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

  1. Has something devastating happened to you for you to get depressed?
  2. Is there any unconfessed sin in your life that you need to confess to God and get right with Him?
  3. Is there something physical such as your diet, sleep, exercise, stress?
  4. Are you using drugs or alcohol?

It concerns me when you say that you take it out on yourself and your kids. I mentioned that I was very depressed, and I had no power of my own to snap out of it (yes, I believe in the power of God as it seems you do too), but I also believe in the omnipotence of God and that He has given doctors wisdom and knowledge to help us. I took a medicine called Cymbalta for about 2monnths, and sure enough, I started to get out of the depression. I cried a lot, and my thoughts were very negative and dark. God pointed me to the medical attention I needed, and it helped. I give God all the credit for my getting out of depression through the help of the doctor and Cymbalta. Sure, I had to take care of other areas of my life, such as my diet, sleep, exercise, just like you need to do.

 

Here is are a couple of links that can be of help to you.

 

https://needencouragement.com/depression/

https://needencouragement.com/deep-sadness/

https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/

 

If what I have shared has been of help to you, and if you have any questions about what I said, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to answer your questions. In the meantime, I pray that you will seek the Lord with all your heart and try to get some support to help take care of your kids a little bit. (it can be hard enough taking care of kids when a person is feeling normal, but when you are depressed, it makes everything that much more challenging.

 

God bless you. Keep praying and seeking the Lord! https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

 

 

 

 

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Prayer request

Message Body:

I struggle with depression. I take it out on myself and my kids. Please help me overcome this. I don’t believe in medical care. But, I know God can help me overcome this.


Hi Gina,
I am glad you have reached out for some help. Unfortunately, we only do email, not texting. If you want to email me, I will try to see how I can point you to Jesus.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Depression
Message Body:
Hey, I just wanted someone to text with and hopefully help me with my problems.

To: you Details

Thanks. I’ll do it!
Hi Rosemary,
I hear your pain…but do not give up because, with God, all things are possible! Have you been praying about your situation with your husband? Or at least praying on your own? How have you been of help to him lately? Have you considered getting marital counseling that can be of great help to you guys?
I know the feeling of wanting a marriage to stay alive. I was married for ten years, the last two years, my wife moved out, but I refused to divorce her, I took the high road, and that is what I want you to do. Yes, if your marriage does not get better soon, you too will be on the high road, but that is the only road I suggest being on. First, you need to get someone on your team, such as a pastor, counselor, and in the meantime, respect and love your husband even if it seems like it is a waste of time doing so. What does your dad say about your situation, or doesn’t he know what is going on?
All three of these links can be of help to you and your marriage:

I would like you to do five things:

  1. Pray each night before bed and each morning when you get up for the next two weeks.
  2. Ask God to soften his heart and make him want to love you the way he did when you first got married.
  3. Ask God to make you even more submissive and patient with your husband.
  4. Make it your goal to do whatever you can to put life back in your marriage, no matter what his attitude may be like, do it on to the Lord!
  5. Get ahold of your pastor or make an appointment with a counselor asap.
If what I have shared with you has been any help to you, please feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I shared with you about your marriage.

 

1 Peter 3:1Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I will be praying for you that you come to God humbly asking Him to restore your marriage and make the two of you whole again!
God bless you!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: What to do? Need help along the way
Message Body:
Hi, my name is Rosemary. I am newly married. I grew up in the church and strayed away. I have been through so much trying to do things my way, but  I know I have to do God’s way and not man. My dad is a pastor, and you know how it is being a preacher’s kid, aka “PK.” I recently married in February and want to have a great life and family home. My husband is a great guy deep down but lives the street life. This was not revealed or an issue until we got married. I want to wake up in the morning and just be happy and thank God for allowing us all to see another day. He wakes up with things that do not matter. He seems not to be in touch with reality and the things that matter, such as God, family, love, etc. He says that h does, but actions say differently. I try to stay positive, but the negative energy bothers me. I am tired of arguing but want to stay married. Lord God, I pray 24/7 for peace and happiness.

Hi Robert,
A couple of questions to consider asking your wife:
  1. Would you be willing to sleep in bed with me again?
  2. If she says not yet, when would she be willing to sleep with you again as a goal?
  3. What would I need to do to make you want to sleep with me again?
You are the man Robert. You need to take the initiative!
  1. Start by initiating conversations with her. Then, use open-ended questions to get her to start talking.
  2. Are you not employed?
  3. What other friends do you have in your life? If they are Christian and will be helpful to you, then reach out to them.
  4. Remember, your best friend Jesus will never leave you or forsake you!
Is your wife interested in staying married to you?
Is your wife talking about getting a divorce?
Keep walking forward. You will get to where you need to and want to be!
Hi Robert.
What you feel in reality does not matter. The fact is that if you are a Born Again Christain, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. If you were truly Born Again, you know that God’s word says you are forgiven. Your statement makes me wonder if you were saved or not?
  1. How old were you when you were Born Again?
  2. Did someone explaining things to you clearly?
  3. Or did you blindly go through the ritual because someone made you do so?
Here is a link to explaining more about being Born Again. https://needencouragement.com/born-again/
If you are sure asked God into your heart, and you understood, and nobody forced you to? If by faith you were saved, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. If you have asked God to forgive you, then you are forgiven. https://needencouragement.com/forgiven/
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 3:6

No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

1 John 3:1-10
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3  All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure. 4  Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 5  But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. 6  No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. 7  Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8  The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. 9  No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10  This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
Does what I have shared with you make sense?
Bill Greguska
Robert, If you have been Born Again, and you asked God to forgive you, then you are forgiven!

—–Original Message—–

To be a better Christian How?
Praying everyday and reading my bible.
To be a better husband How?
Not getting upset with my wife.  Doing things for her without grumbling
To be free from this sin. How
? To stay in the word.  Meditate on bible verses
Next time a sexual thought comes up in your mind, what do you plan to do about it?
I need to do what the word says.  To bring into captivity those thoughts.
Doubting / unbelief Doubting God or doubting yourself, either way, what are you going to do to change that? Pray.


You referring to mental adultery in your mind not physical adultery with someone right?
Yes. Mental adultery.
How long ago did you commit adultery? Does your wife know?
It’s was awhile ago and yes my wife knows and I’ve been checked out.
Robert,
You are going to have to get over the way you think about yourself and start to think about yourself the way God sees you because of the blood of His son Jesus who died for you. God sees you without sin or condemnation.
I am afraid to tell you that if you do not change the way you start thinking about things in your life, you will be bound to continue to repeat the ways Satan has influenced you. You are set free, so be free starting today.
Robert, you need to stop doing and thinking in terms of how Robert thinks and feels and start to search diligently how God thinks and feels and start doing His will.
Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
Good morning Stela,
It is wonderful to hear that you want to get right with God. He knows your heart and wants to have a close relationship with you. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

Stela, I read what you said about praying to God, but it seems not to work. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/ My question to you is, have you confessed your sins to God. For God will not honor our prayers if we are harboring sin in our lives. https://needencouragement.com/need-integrity/

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Here is an excellent link to give you some insights about pornography that can help you.
If what I have shared has been of help to you, please feel free to get back to me, and I can answer any question about what I have shared. Please try to confess your sins and continue praying with a renewed spirit. May God bless you as you walk with him each day forward. I pray that your prayer will begin to be answered after you confess your sins to God.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Counseling”

Thank you for replying to my mail.

Pornography, sexual immorality, lies telling, theft are the things I’m really struggling with.
I have prayed, but it seems not to work.
I really desire to live a holy life.

 

Hi Stela,
If you would like to share what is going on, I can possibly be of help to you.
Have you been praying each day about this addiction of yours? That is the first place to go for help is to God!
Let me know what is going on.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
I have been struggling with some addiction, and please need your help to get out of it.
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

Hi Patrick,

I can only assume that each girl does not know about the other girl.
You have known them 2-3 years now, and depending on how much you want to get married, determines partially what you ought to do. If I were you, I would make a list of all the pros and cons of each girl. Keep praying and be patient and honest with both of them, not to lead them on thinking that they are your boyfriend. You need to think this out and decide relatively soon since this has been going on for at least 2 years now.

 

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Keep praying and be wise and patient.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–


Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Decision making: help me please”

Hello Bill

Many thanks for your response. I really appreciate it. Below are my answers to your questions.
  1. Have you been praying about what decisions you are trying to make? Yes.
  2. Have you gotten to know either girl very much? I mean, what makes them tick and what they value in life? Well yeah, girl1 for 3 years & girl2 for 2 years. As I wrote in an earlier email, girl1 is growing day by day. She is
  3. Have you gotten intimate with either one of them? If so, you need to stop and confess that to God and ask for forgiveness since that is a sin. – I have never been intimate with either of them. Yes, I kissed both but nothing more than that. No sex, no physical touch except holding hands & hugs, probably 5 times in the past 2+ years. Nothing else.
  4. What do your parents think of both girls? Parents say girl1 is much more practical than girl2(though  girl2 seems more religious/spiritual) because girl1 lives in Europe and girl2 lives in Israel with her parents, with a closed community, very limited exposure to the world.. her parents are very protective…
  5. What girl do you feel most comfortable with? with both, I am comfortable, except that her parents influence girl2 in most decisions.
  6. Which girl do you trust the most? I trust both
  7. Which girl respects you the most? Both respect me more.
  8. Which girl do you enjoy being with the most? – Girl1 is a bit more jovial, friendly & practical & of course, growing day by day more in spiritual life. girl1 is not more experienced in biblical knowledge compared to girl2.  girl1 is very spiritual & religious as well since she lives with her parents all over her life & in a close community. girl2 never seen the world & her exposure & experience with the world is limited. (world – practical ways of living, huddles, complications, minimal ways to get connected to unbelievers, even in day-to-day life very limited encounters with other people in the world(unbelievers)…)
  9. Which girl do you think about the most? – that’s the confusing part for me…
I will look into the links that you send. Thanks again
Regards
Patrick

 

NeedEncouragement.com / Bill Greguska
Hi Patrick,
I am glad you are thinking about your situation and are taking it apparently very seriously. Here are a couple of thoughts for you to consider.
  1. Have you been praying about what decisions you are trying to make?
  2. Have you gotten to know either girl very much? I mean, what makes them tick and what they value in life?
  3. Have you gotten intimate with either one of them? If so, you need to stop and confess that to God and ask for forgiveness since that is a sin.
  4. What do your parents think of both girls?
  5. What girl do you feel most comfortable with?
  6. Which girl do you trust the most?
  7. Which girl respects you the most?
  8. Which girl do you enjoy being with the most?
  9. Which girl do you think about the most?
Here are a couple of links that will give you some insights into dating.
I can not directly answer your question, but I supplied you with some questions to consider to help you make up your own mind. One thing is that if God does not lead you to marry either one of them, Then is it is best to stay single until you know for sure. If you impulsively just marry one, you will most likely regret your decision. I was a little impatient and married someone I should not have, which ended in a difficult 10-year marriage and an excruciating divorce.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Decision making: help me, please
Message Body:
Dear Bro’s & Sis’s in the Lord,
Warm Christian Greetings!
(Few intros abt me..) I am 32yrs old from the south of Europe, born in a very traditional family. At the age of 13, I accepted Christ as my Lord & Personal Saviour.
(my situation..) Among the few Christian friends I have, 2 of them are close to me & I am in a deciding situation whom to choose as a girlfriend.
Girl1 – Was born in a nominal Christian family, backslid at the age of 20, been in a living together relationship with 3 men(all unbelievers) in 10 years & she encountered Christ in 2016 and was totally convicted of her sins, repented & left it away & living a separated life – I know her since 2018 till now – she is a growing Christian & have good signs of growth – she reconciled with her parents since 2016 & try to live a godly life….. I praise God for that – but when I think if she could be my girlfriend & future fiance, then I am a bit overwhelmed by her past, but at the same time I feel sad, sympathy for her & care her & probably I think I have feelings for her… I do not know how to handle this situation, sometimes I feel my heart & mind are not synchronized & it pulls me back a little in deciding…
Girl2 – Since 2yrs I know her, she is a solid Christian, never been with a man, always lived with a closed community, strong family bondage, 28years still living with her parents, no boyfriend till now, she is talented in music, the prayer life & bible knowledge & also family oriented but at the same time she is highly influenced by her parents, her parents say ” we want her for the Lord & prefer her to be single.” Still, the girl says, ” she wants to be in a relationship & want to get out of her home & her country… I strongly feel her likings towards me, and she is just waiting for me to approach her & decide…
Now about me… I accepted Christ at the age of 14 & I have never been with a girl till 29… and because of few health conditions of the girl I had to leave with her approval & her interests…. apart from that, I am not boasting. Still, to give you an overview of me, I pray & meditate every day. I really want to put christ ahead of my own interests. I try to strive to live a godly life. In all my ups & downs, I try to be humble, patient & take things slowly now. In this situation, I do not want to make any mistakes, so I am taking more time & go for it…
Could you please help me with your valuable suggestions ( i am praying about this for 8 months and my parents)? So should I still wait for the Lord, or Should I just forgive & forget the past of Girl1 and go for her, or Should I just go for Girl2?

This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)


 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Coaching regarding relationship with distressed 12 year old daughter”

Dear Bill,

 Thanks so much for your wonderful, encouraging advice and website! I appreciate you taking the time to address these important issues and the related Bible verses to reflect on. You bring up some valid points and I’ve shared your email with Dave.
 I just began working with a counselor (independent from my daughter), as my husband has told me “you keep doubling down on what’s not working” so I want to open the door to improved parenting realizations to start with. (I’m apparently not good at the fun part/too intense, for one thing). I’d like my kids to respond to me in obedience as they do to Dave. On a positive note, I just finished a helpful group Bible study, as well, and pray daily for my kids and at night with them. I am seeking fun ways to connect with my daughter so she’s more receptive to me (this is working) as her mother and we connect better! The preteen/ teen years can be challenging.
  Could I ask your prayer team to pray for my husband, Dave? That he would have a heart to take the reigns a bit more, provide me with support, and be a more willing prayer warrior? He is a conservative Christian but not a regular church attender or Bible reader. I think it is important to him to preserve his relationship with my daughter, and he’ll generally pray with me leading prayer. We both want well-adjusted, happy, healthy God-fearing kids and discuss this regularly.
 Blessings,
Kendra
Hi Kendra,
My first bit of advice is for you to begin praying about this situation with your daughter each morning with your husband. The second bit of advice is for you to team up with your husband in an untied force. The third thing is to set up a time for you and your husband and daughter to sit down and talk this out.  It seems as though you might have accidentally given your daughter too much say in things, and she has lost some respect for you. Since your daughter is usually angry with you, not your husband, have your husband be the so-called “bad guy” and have him lay down the law instead of you. This situation is between you and your husband and daughter, so it ought to try to be resolved by you guys first and foremost. Not to get Christian counseling involved right away.

Proverbs 19:18  Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
I would try the suggestions I have given to you before doing anything else, such as changing schools, getting Christian counseling. Try this for a couple of weeks and see if there is any noticeable improvement. If not, then, by all means, get Christian counseling involved. What does your pastor have to say about your situation?

Proverbs 22:6  Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.
If what I have said has been of help to you, please feel free to email me back with any questions about what I said. I will be praying for you that whatever your daughter’s problem is, that when the three of you talk in length (at least an hour or even more) that you can start to understand what is going on in her heart and head. Most likely, this has been brewing for quite some time, and now is the time to ask God to help you and your husband work together to make things right again.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Keep in mind that she is only 12 years old, and being your daughter, she needs permission to do things while she is in your home, such as the use of the computer, cell phone, curfew, allowance, etc.  All these things can be taken away from her if she refuses to cooperate and live by your house rules. It might sound a little harsh, but I strongly believe that parents are afraid of upsetting their children, so in turn, they sometimes tend to spoil them. I hope this is not the case with you and your husband. Please make sure you get your husband on board with these plans. There is power in numbers. Otherwise, I am very sorry to say your chances are not that favorable for much-lasting success, happiness, and peace in your family.
Remember to pray about this every morning with your husband, and you will find that some breakthroughs will begin to happen. Also, when you talk with your daughter, make sure you ask some strategic questions and allow her to talk as much as she needs to. I pray that what I have suggested gets implemented, and the Lord works things out for all three of you!
I am 60 years old, and I raised 2 kids. My motto with them was to be Firm, Fair, and Fun. That is very general but very encompassing at the same time!  Again, I can not help but emphasize the importance that you and your husband work TOGETHER!!!!!
God bless you and your daughter and husband!

 

Subject: Coaching regarding relationship with distressed 12 year old daughter
Message Body:
Hi. I’d like some advice re: connecting w/my preteen who will not listen to me and has told me she does not like me. She’s angry (usually with me and not my husband) and is on social media too often. I am concerned she is depressed. This is very disturbing to me as I love her and want a good relationship and for her to be happy and healthy. I need advice on next steps (change of school for next year possibly & how to get her into Christian counseling).

Hi Itebogeng,
I am very glad you have reached out for some reassurance, we all need that in our lives, sometimes more, and sometimes less, but we all need it!
In your own words, you have told me that you are doing well in your life, I have no reason not to believe you!
You also have shared that you recently started your journey to living for Christ, that alone is monumental, that is something you will be able to build your life upon. I will not promise that all will be well without any struggles or problems, but I can promise you that you will have an advocate in Jesus Christ to help you through anything that you get into. He will be with you, and with support from other Christian believes from church or Bible study, you will continue to grow more and more each day, and you will see with your own eyes that God will be doing good work in you that you can not deny.
Your struggle with anxiety, depression, assertiveness, self-image may not disappear magically, but believe me, with the Holy Spirit working in your life as you continue to follow the Lord, you will see those hindrances melt away to the side of the road, and you will be free in God’s time. I can not tell you that those things will be gone in a day, week, month, but I can tell you is that as you keep walking with the Lord, you will see positive results and you will praise God, just like I praise God for what He has done to change my life in areas such as drug and alcohol addictions, anxiety and depression, lack of self-control and discipline. I am excited for what you are going through because the Lord has delivered me, and my faith in Him made it all possible. Trust and obey, there is no other way. https://needencouragement.com/confidence/
I pray that you will take all your concerns to the Lord in prayer and you trust Him with your whole heart, mind, and soul. If you have any questions about what I have shared, please feel free to email me back and I will try to help you some more.
May God bless you as He has blessed me!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Mental health and re-parenting”

Message Body:
I just need a mother. I am doing well in my life and just recently started my journey to live for Christ, I’m working on my vision.
I just need reassurance that I am doing well and make changes where I need to etc.
I struggle with anxiety, depression, assertiveness, self-image, I have a poor relationship with myself which gets in the way of feeling alive and living fully. Please help me and walk with me on this journey, I’d really appreciate it.

 

Hi BK,
Have you prayed about your situation? That is the first place I suggest that you go to.
You are not alone. Many people, including me, have difficulties with co-workers. I have learned not to be so concerned about how they act or what they say, but rather, be more concerned about how I act and what I say to them.
Try to be friendly to those who irritate you, and maybe some of them will see the good in you and treat you a little better. https://needencouragement.com/be-more-friendly/
It sounds like you would benefit by attempting to be friendlier and more cooperative with them. Since they are your supervisor, they have authority over you. That does not mean they can treat you disrespectfully. If these things continue, I will encourage you to talk to your supervisor in their office and respectfully air some of your concerns. Be careful what you say and how you would say it. You do not want to give them any reason for firing you, right?
These thoughts are my opinions, and you need to decide for yourself what you will do. I encourage you to trust God, and He will direct your path.
One more thought, you might want to go to Walmart and pick up some candies or cookies and bring them to work to share with everyone. Remember, we get more bees with honey than with vinegar, right?
God bless you,

—–Original Message—–


Yes am born again. and am finding it hard to think positive, the thought is always bothering me and it constantly comes.I search about it and people say it’s religion OCD. But I also have another thing to get off my chest. Some people are making angry at my working place. they will monitor me, do things to make me angry, and copy my idea as if it’s their own. because the owner of the company has a close relationship with them. and they try to let my supervisor fire me. every day they will monitor me to have something against me. everyone is busy nobody has time for what am going through. thanks for reading

 


 

Hey, it is good to hear that you are doing some reflective thinking.
You made a good point for yourself when you mentioned not wanting to go to hell. To me, that is a very legitimate reason in itself, don’t you agree? Jesus came to this world to save us (sinners due to Adam and Eve’s rebellion and sin in the Garden of Eden). Now, after the fall of mankind, God offered His only son who shall believe in Him will be saved. So what you mentioned is right on!!!!
If you were in a burning house and a fireman came to save you, would you debate with the firemen or simply trust them. It is similar to our faith in Jesus Christ. There is tons of recoded evidence in history about Jesus’s birth, life, death, teaching, doing miracles, etc. We are informed, and we need to decide where we stand. You are old enough to make your mind up, but even though we are free to choose what we are doing to do, we are not free to choose the consequences of our choices.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

As far as you being born into “it,” as you mentioned, you are blessed for that, but your parent’s faith does not get you saved or into heaven. That is the free will choice that you need to make. I can not make it for you, but I can point you to Jesus Christ who’s Holy Spirit can lead you on to make wise choices.
Please do not think you need to know all about God and Jesus to be a Christian. There is a thing called regeneration which is the process after your initial belief in God, which is how our life slowly becomes renewed and grows to be more Christ-like. I am 61 years old, and I am still growing in my faith, and I will continue growing until the Lord takes me home.
Galatians 3:26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.
Check out this website and put any question you can think of in their search engine, and you will be amazed at what you will learn. Keep in mind that the Bible talks about having the faith of a child to get into heaven. I believe that you have that faith and more!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–


Hey, I think I’m losing faith in God and Jesus. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in them(because a part of me do). However, it feels like I only Love them because I was born into it, and I don’t want to go to hell. It’s weird because one moment I don’t like people using their name in vain and then the next I don’t like a Christian song for absolutely no good reason.

 

 

Hi Anamie,
I will try to answer your question the best I can… I was addicted to alcohol and drugs from the time I was 16 to the time I was 26. Throughout many of those years, I had an understanding and faith in God, especially when I was more like around age 22 was when I started to pray and get more serious about my faith in God. It was not until June 25, 1986, that I was faced with a surrender to Jesus Christ. Since that day, I have not used drugs or alcohol at all. It was a struggle, and I am thankful that I did not give up!
I have also heard of someone accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior, then praying to be released from the habitual sin of smoking cigarettes, and just like that, all of a sudden, it happened, and they were freed from their addiction.
The bottom line is, we can not try to put God in a box. He has to do something one way or another. God is God, and He is in control. We are supposed to love Him and follow His will and grow closer to Him by loving Him more and more, and love others more and more!
I hope that helps you…
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–


Thank you so much, I was enlightened and encouraged it totally, yes I confessed my sin to the Lord, but I have another question, is it normal to a person who repents, but the sin he repents is not totally disappeared in just a time? Is it true that when you repent one thing is it takes time or step by step until it disappears already?
Hi Amamae,
Since you say that you are a Christian, you then also know what it says in Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Have you confessed your sins? James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
You are correct in saying that you have failed totally in the eyes of God, we all have, that is why we need Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savoir.
I pray that you take your concerns to Jesus in prayer, and also to your church leaders. For they need to know what you are going through in order to help you.
I hope and pray that what I have shared has been of help to you. If you have any questions about what I have shared, please feel free to email me and I will get back to you.

—–Original Message—–

Subject:
Message Body:
Hello good day, I was very happy that I find this group Christian advice
I really need your help through prayer, I was very struggling right now about my life because I am a leader of a youth group in our church but I could not feel that I am a true Christian because I fail totally in the eyes of God.

Hi Jimmy,
It sounds like you love your daughter, but at the same time, adding five people into your tiny house can be a great source of stress and anxiety.
On the one hand, I am sure you want to help your daughter, which is the right thing to want to do.
1 Timothy 5:8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Yet, on the other hand, your marriage is, I believe is possibly your higher responsibility since your daughter is 28 years old. Without knowing all the details, I would not be able to give you specific counsel on this. Have you been praying about this situation? Honestly, I smell a fish here, but that is only my thought as an outsider.
2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”
It almost seems that your daughter knew she would be able to move in with you and your wife and even took the liberty to quit her job and her husband to quit too. Again, I do not know all the details, but for at least the next 30 days, I think you should strongly consider having them stay and work out the problems ahead of time. Since winter is almost here, the 30 days might need to be extended to 60. You need to sit down with your wife first, figure out what you guys want to do, then include your daughter and her husband to execute some time plan that you can agree upon? Try your best to be calm. I see that this is a difficult situation, but I pray that you will handle this in a way that will honor God and also display love to your daughter and grandkids, while you and your wife can act together as a united front.
During the following weeks, your daughter and son-in-law need to look for work as their full-time work 8 hours a day, unless there is an obvious reason they can not work. https://needencouragement.com/need-employment/
Please feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I said.  In the meantime, please be sure to bring this to God in prayer. Keep calm and trust God!
These are my thoughts and ideas based on my interpretation of what God’s word says, and my life experiences. You will need to decide for yourself what you are going to do, and what you are not willing to do. I pray that bottom line, you do God’s will.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Adult children taking advantage”

Subject: Adult children taking advantage
Message Body:
Hello, thank you for reading my message,
We have a 28-year-old daughter that is married and has 3 children from 6 years old to 2,
She is having some emotional problems and decided that she and her husband would just quit their jobs and move back home with us, this is causing my wife and I some major problems and I am afraid this could destroy our relationship.
We have had a great relationship for the past few years until this
I am reaching out for help on how to convey the point that they are responsible for themselves and their own home, I know I am going to be the bad guy but we do not have room for them in our small home nor do we have the money to help them
Thank you
Jim

Hi Dzifa,
Try to remember back when you got married and were so happy. Remember that even though things do change in our lives, our commitment to God and our spouse does not change.
Take a look at what you can do to make the marriage better, and in the meantime, I pray that you take all your cares and concerns to the Lord in prayer. I pray that you both can communicate better and forgive each other more.
If you need to talk, feel free to email me back.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: my marriage
Message Body:
Please help me pray for my troubled marriage.

Hi Jeanne,
I am glad you reached out to me. I am not 100% sure what advice you are looking for specifically? But here are four links to get you started that you were asking about.
Marriage:
Media:
In general, my marriage advice is to know that it takes God to lead a successful marriage and two sinners willing to submit to God. In marriage, it needs to be two working together as one. Forgiveness is a huge factor since we make mistakes and say and do wrong things that hurt one another. 
In general, my advice for social media is to limit it with discipline. Otherwise, it will typically steal your time and energy and focus on other things rather than God.
Please feel free to email me back if you have any specific questions that I can help you with.
God bless you, and may God direct your marriage!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Marriage and social media
Message Body:
Hello, I am looking for some advice on married and social media.  With my husband and I

Hi Chyna,
I am sorry to hear that you are presently feeling down. Keep in mind that this too shall pass. Have you taken this to God in prayer? That would be my first suggestion to you! https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Then next thing I would suggest is to make a list of the good things in your life that you can be grateful for, such as a place to live, a bed to sleep in, clothes on your back, a friend or two, etc.
You did not explain why you say that you are feeling worthless, so if you wish to share that with me, maybe I can give you some more specific things to think about or do to help you.

I pray that you can take your cares to the Lord in prayer.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
 
By the way, if you think you need to get help right away, contact 911 if this is an emergency.
Otherwise, contact me if you would like, and also check out https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/
If you have any questions about what I have shared with you or wish to talk more about, please feel free to email me back.
God bless you,

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Help
Message Body:
Feeling worthless

Hi Khady,
Have you been praying about this to God? Have you been able to talk with your husband about this? I would start first by praying then setting up some uninterrupted time alone with your husband to talk about things.
I would also consider getting someone that the two of you could bounce things off of to strengthen your marriage. What do you think the problems are that you are facing with your husband?
Here is are a couple of pages that I believe can be of help to you.
If you have any questions about what I shared, feel free to email me back. I will be praying for your marriage. I know how hard it is to be in a difficult marriage. I have been there and done that. Here is another page that can be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/prevent-divorce/

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Canceling
Message Body:
I’m 46 years old married to my husband for over 7 years. Our marriage is following apart I will love to fixed before is too late. Please help
Thank you

 

Hi Dennis,
You are very welcome, do not get discouraged, but rather dig in with God’s help to find the next step in your life. Try to minimize your emotions and work with what you have, and try to focus on what God has in store for you. Use this setback as a stepping stone to something better in your life.
Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Stay on track. I pray you find a new job very soon!!!
Bill Greguska
Dennis, I know this is hard on you, but you can do it WITH God!!!

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Trusting God”

Thank you


Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Trusting God “

Hi Dennis,
I can understand your privacy concern. It can be pretty disturbing being between jobs if we allow it to be that way, I know that feeling, and I know where you are coming from. In general, I would suggest that you keep close to God during this time and at all times. Keep praying and trusting God that He has a plan for your life. Ask God what He wants you to do and where He wants you to apply for work. Here is a page that can be of some help to you to find a job.
Keep your eyes on the Lord. He will not let you down, Joshua 1:9Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” the thing is that you need to keep trying and be patient that God’s timing may not be the same as your timing. You will need to practice patients. Your job right now while you are out of work is to spend 8 hours a day connecting with others, redoing your resume, making phone calls, getting the word out to your family and friends that you are looking for work. I pray that in doing these things, that a door would be opened for you. If you would like to talk more, please feel free to email me back.
God bless you as you keep your eyes on Him!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Trusting God”

Subject: Trusting God a
Message Body:
I have not worked at a job for almost three weeks and it has been difficult. It has been me and the LORD, yet since I don’t live with anybody else it has been hard mentally and in other ways. I have wanted to get a job and could have but it has been or seems to have been roadblocks so much(mentally, physically, maybe other ways), I have not been sure what has been going on. There have been other things; it has been hard to talk about because I have to live by faith so I’m trying to talk right, and I don’t know how much I can tell other people, or how much God would want me to or let me, and I have been careful about trust so I have not been sure of who I could tell. It has been much and a lot. I have been trying to hold on. I am born again through Jesus Christ the Son of God; I believe in Him and He is Lord. I am a Christian who has dealt with much. God bless. Thank you.

Hi Ed,
First of all, have you taken this to the Lord in prayer?
You have not said why she hates you. It would be a good idea to figure that out by talking with her, and asking her what you have said, or done to upset her?
This first web page below has a good video that you can probably relate to?
I am sure you have an idea of what you have been doing, if you would give her a sincere apology and ask her to forgive you, that would be wonderful.
You did not share much, so I do not know what else I can share with you to help you further.

 

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
If you want to email me back and share more details with me, I would be willing to try to help you some more.

God bless you,

—–Original Message—–

Subject: My wife hates me.
Message Body:
What can I do to make it up to my wife? She hates me

Hi John,
I hope what I share with you will be helpful to you so you can find peace with your relationship with God. Personally, I had to pick the date of June 25th, 1986, as the day I was born again. I, too, did not have a powerful conversion with flashes of lightning or thunder. It seemed to be more of a gradual thing with me. One-piece was added on top of another until I knew that I was saved. I did not have an exact day, but I remember that I was in a long-term drug and alcohol treatment center, and I had to look back and narrow it down by guessing what day it was. I would not waste any more time trying to figure your situation out, and you might have to do what I did and simply guess what day it was that you were born again.
What you are saying sounds to me using an analogy of a woman being pregnant and not seeing a doctor to find out how long she is in her pregnancy. IT DOES NOT MATTER THE EXACT MOMENT SHE “GOT PREGNANT” (Just like you desire to know the exact moment you were saved). THE FACT THAT SHE IS PREGNANT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. (Just like you, it does not matter what exact moment( you were born again, the fact is that you are apparently born again, and the exact date is irrelevant). But if it makes you feel better, I know how you feel since I went through the same thing you did.
I remember being taught that we are like trains. The reason I say that is because the train has an engine and it has a caboose. The engine is like our intellect, and the caboose is like our feelings. You sound a lot like me when I was 26 years old, I wanted to have a big emotional experience, but I did not. I had many experiences piled up, one on top of another for quite some time that resulted in knowing I was born again without any doubt. John, stop looking for that emotional high, and just enjoy your walk with the Lord and stop comparing yourself with what others might have or might not have experienced.
Do you believe that Jesus died for you? And are you willing to live for Him? Then stop your worrying and get on with your relationship with the Lord!
If you have a relationship with God and you pray to Him and read his word, you love Him and want to follow him and leave your past sin life covered by His blood on the cross and that your sins are forgiven. If you know that God loves you and wants to guide you in your life, then I would say you are born again.
I copied and pasted a couple of paragraphs from my website that I wanted to share with you from Billy Graham’s book below. You can find more at

 

Billy Graham Could Not Depend On His Resolution To Do Better.

I consistently failed in my efforts at self-improvement. Nobody needed to tell me that. As a teenager, what I needed to know was that I was right with God. I could not help but admit to myself that I was purposeless and empty-hearted.
Our family Bible reading, praying, psalm-singing, and churchgoing—all these had left me restless and resentful. I had even tried, guiltily, to think up ways of getting out of all those activities as much as I could. In a word, I was spiritually dead.

No Bells Went Off Inside Me.

There were no signs flashing across the tabernacle ceiling for Billy Graham. No physical palpitations made me tremble. I wondered again if I was a hypocrite, not to be weeping or something. I felt at peace. Quiet, not delirious. Happy and peaceful.
Parts of this story are excerpted from Billy Graham’s autobiography (Just As I Am).
God bless you and keep walking forward, and I pray that your faith will be strong enough to guide you rather than your sight. If you have any questions about anything I have shared with you, please feel free to email me back.
2 Corinthians 5:7 For we live by faith, not by sight.
 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Are there some people who just can’t experience God?
Message Body:
I’ve read accounts of people who got saved and have had very powerful conversion experiences.  So much so that they can tell you the exact time (down to the minute, and maybe even second) that they got saved.  They seem to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they found God and got saved.
For me personally, I’ve never had such an experience.  I would like to, but it just never happens for me.  I’ve confessed my sins and asked Jesus into my heart.  Actually, I’ve confessed my sins many times. It just doesn’t happen.  Maybe this shouldn’t be a problem, but I really want to have a “real” relationship with God and experience his love and presence in my life.  But again, it just doesn’t happen, and I feel like I desperately need this to move forward as a Christian.  Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance for your reply.

Hi Don,
You are not alone Don, I think what you are saying is something everyone really would like in their lives too.
It sounds like you are someone who gets frustrated somewhat easily. Am I correct? If so, my first suggestion is to take everything to God in prayer. That means your anger, control, and marriage! When you are praying about this, it would be helpful to get a notebook or piece of paper and take an inventory of your life. The things you do well on one side of the paper, and the things that you struggle with on the other side. Or, if you would rather email your list to me, I could give you some feedback and some comments that can be helpful to you. It is up to you.
You were pretty general when you said that you needed help with my anger, controlling, marriage. I just want to feel better, and I want people to want to be around me. It would be easier to find solutions when you can share specific situations that happen to you, so you can analyze them and learn from them using the lens of the scriptures to get a clear view of what is going on.
Here are a couple of links from our website that would be helpful to you.
https://needencouragement.com/improve-your-marriage/ (There is an excellent video on this page)
Please feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I said, or would like to tell me more, or share your inventory. I pray that you take your problems to the Lord first.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
I need help with my anger, controlling, marriage. Just want to feel better and I want people to want to be around me.

Hi Sandra,
I encourage you to know that you can only speak the truth to your son. I can understand how difficult this may be to see it happening right before your eyes. You are not without hope. You can and ought to pray that your son’s actions will be resolved. Doing the math, I can only assume that your son is dating a girl who is a young teenager.
I also suggest that your family has a meeting (intervention) to talk this out into the open. I would invite your pastor or someone neutral that could guide the conversation. There might have to be boundaries set up if your son is not cooperative. But let’s pray that he can listen to you and your family.
He calls it love, yet it sounds a lot more like lust or, at the least, immaturity. https://needencouragement.com/love-or-lust/
Keep in mind that you are only his mother, he is a “grown” man, and this, I believe, is where prayer and the Holy Spirit needs to do something here, and you need to just speak the truth!
My brother told me in about 1986 about the alcohol and drug problem I had, he said to me, “You make your bed, you sleep in it.” Your son is free to choose what he wants to do (sinful or not), but he is not free to choose the consequences.
If you have any questions about what I have shared, please feel free to email me, and I will clarify what I am saying. I pray for your entire family during this difficult time.
God bless you, and keep praying!
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–

Subject: Dating
Message Body:
My son 37 yrs old is dating his son’s ex-girlfriend …its caused problems in the family they say they love each other.I don’t know what to do to me this shouldn’t be happening.  Prayers for my Family and advice, please

Hi Basketball Nerd,
I am so glad that you are a believer in Jesus Christ. That is not just a label a person put on themselves, but it is more of a relationship with Jesus and a lifestyle to please Him.
I think that you might be young and mistaken to think that forgiveness is a feeling to attain. Forgiveness is a choice we all have to make. I am not sure if you have made that choice, although it sometimes is hard to do, even with an old guy like me (61 years old) who has been a Christian since 1986. You have to choose to forgive your sister, this may be difficult, but that is what God commands us to do.
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help.
Bill Greguska
P.S. I am a basketball nerd too from back in the day…https://needencouragement.com/basketball-testimony/ Why do you call yourself a Basketball Nerd?
—–Original Message—–

Yes, I believe in God, and I believe Jesus died on the cross for me. I have this older sister, she hit me before, tried getting me in trouble, put her ex before me, and gets mad at me. I have family members to tell me to get over it bcs I got to hit her back. However, why am I still mad? How can I forgive? I also love my momma, but I feel like she loves and treat my mean sister better than me. I don’t know how to handle this, so I really need your help.



Hi Destiny,
It sounds like you know that your life is not where you want it to be. I encourage you to take that thought and do something about it.
You did not make mention of having faith in God, so that is the first thing I would want to ask you, “Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and all your sins?”
Then, I would encourage you to take your concerns to God in prayer.
  • There is a scripture that is very important. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithfulandjustand will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
  • Also here is another scripture to help point you to Jesus. James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
  • One more scripture to strongly consider. James 4:8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
If you have any questions about what I have shared with you and would like some clarification, please feel free to email me and I will get back to you.
God bless you and keep your eyes on God!
Bill Greguska

Hi Amanda,
Sometimes it is wise to let your husband or any person calm down enough to be willing even to acknowledge your apology. Most likely, whatever you felt the need to apologize for was something he took as disrespectful to him.
As soon as he is open to talking, then you can apologize to him, but make sure he is calm and give him some space. Guys sometimes need space to think and not be talked to occasionally.
But before you do any of these things, I would like you to take this argument to God in prayer. He is the one who has all the answers. Just sit down and quiet yourself and talk to God. Simply ask Him, “What do you want me to do, God?” I have been doing that for almost a year now, and I get the best conversations with God by just asking Him, “What do you want me to do God?” and then sit back and listen to what I think God’s will for my situation(s).
Depending on how long your son has not been sleeping well would determine if you needed to see a doctor or possibly simply take over-the-counter melatonin for a bit of a while possibly. If you want to know more about it, ask your pharmacist.
You also need to take care of yourself:
  1. Are you praying and reading your Bible and fellowshipping with others?
  2. Are you getting enough exercise?
  3. Are you eating healthy?
  4. Are you avoiding sugar and alcohol, and drugs?
  5. Are you drinking enough water?
  6. Are you finding things to laugh about?
Here are three pages from my site that can help you.
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you, if you have any questions about what I said, feel free to email me back, and I will try to point you to the Lord and give you advice on what to do. What I share is my interpretation of what the Bible says.
I pray that you take your concerns to the Lord in prayer.  1 Peter 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
—–Original Message—–

Subject: I need help
Message Body:
I am just devastated, my husband and I had an argument, and I  tried to apologize but he doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t know what else to do, because I didn’t want this to happen.
I am dealing with a lot right now with not getting support from my family with not helping me with my son who is autistic. My son is having sleeping problems.  I deal with depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts sometimes.  I just would like to disappear sometimes.

Hi Angela,
I take it that you have been praying about all of this for quite some time now. It is hard to deal with people and their personalities sometimes. I would encourage you to keep praying and try to sit down with your mother and husband in a peaceful way to iron out at least one or maybe even two issues causing you guys problems.
Have you considered talking to your pastor and seeing if you can plan a meeting with him in person? Emails can be good, but this sounds like you need someone in front of you to help you wrestle through things.
There is a time and place for medication, but I want to let you know that once you take a good look at your problem(s) with your household and get things resolved, you will not need your medication soon.
I hope what I shared with you has been helpful. If you have any questions about what I said, feel free to email me back.
May God bless you and direct your steps!
800-633-3446
—–Original Message—–

Thank you.  Yes to all 6 questions.  

I am 51 with a marriage that has been in trouble for several years, we are in church and born again believers.   In a nutshell, my mother is 67 with heart trouble and is waiting for money from a lawsuit before she can move out.  She has been in my home for 4 months and my husband rarely complains.  She says rude things, cannot get along with any of her children’s spouses (not just mine).   She and my husband “got into it” a few days ago and she has made life miserable since.  I even got on antidepressants to help me tolerate stress.    I can’t afford to house her and there’s a shortage of rental property.   I am hopeless and feel like my life is gone.  There is also a shortage of good Christian counselors in my area or I would have sought one out.  

Sent from my iPad
Hi Angela,
I would be willing to hear about what is going on with you. No matter how old or young you are, you can always look back to realize that you have been through your share of problems and have always gotten through them. Whatever it is, there is an answer to your problem. That goes for all of us in this world we live in.
  1. Have you tried to pray about your situation?
  2. Are you eating healthy?
  3. Are you getting enough exercise?
  4. Are you avoiding sugar, alcohol, drugs?
  5. Are you reading your Bible?
  6. Are you getting enough sleep (7-8 hours per night)
Feel free to email me back and share at least one or two major things that you have a problem coping with, and I will get back to you.
—–Original Message—–

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
I need help dealing with my circumstances.  I just cannot cope anymore.

Hi Aileen,
I am glad that you realize that God is the answer! Without God, you would not have the hope that Christians have.
My suggestion is to keep praying to God every morning and read your Bible every day for at least 5 minutes if you are not in the habit of it now. (overtime, you will naturally want to increase the amount of time you read your Bible simply because your hunger for God’s word will be increasing.
Proverbs 3:5-6Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.
Do you have someone who is a Christian who can point you to Jesus?  https://needencouragement.com/accountability-partner/
If what I have shared has been of help, feel free to email me back if you have any other questions.
I will pray that you draw more near to God every day!
God bless you!
—–Original Message—–

Subject: A lot of help needed
Message Body:
I recently spoke to someone a pastor Christian counselor who said I am depressed, anxious, add, paranoid, voices, traumas and forgot what else I have trouble concentrating remembering what I am doing going to do did and more I am Christian and know God is the answer
God bless you

Hi Natalie,
You are very welcome, I am glad I could point you in the right direction.
Stay close to God and I pray for you and your father for the specific needs you both have.
God bless you both,
—–Original Message—–

Subject: Thank you for everything

Dear Mr. Greguska!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
Thank you for your kind words, your time, and the attention you gave me. It will take me some time (maybe months) to write to those organizations. And then if I get a positive response from them, with your permission, I`ll write to you again to bring you good news. Please pray for me and my father.  Warm regards, Natalie
By |2022-03-27T09:02:07-05:00June 11th, 2021|WISDOM|6 Comments

About the Author:

In 2007, my pastor Ron Sauer and his wife Sue encouraged me to encourage others, knowing that I was struggling in my own life. They were wise to know that if I reached out to help other people with their problems, my problems would be put into a better perspective. Yes, and it did help! Please read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. If you do not have a relationship with God by chance, I encourage you to get to know Him. I hope you find the encouragement you need on our website, no matter your situation. ~ Bill Greguska

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