Response Letters 7

Need Encouragement

Here are more response letters from people who have emailed in with questions. I use only first names and guard each person’s privacy. You can encourage others too. You do not have to be a pastor. If you know the Lord and desire to encourage and help others, you too can be an encourager.

 


Hi Kristina,
I am glad you reached out for help. I want to congratulate you that you are expecting a baby! What a blessing!
Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? Smiling face with halo
My first thought is always to pray about whatever comes our way. In your case, the problem with a coworker can be very stressful, especially in your condition. After you pray, you do not just have to take abuse, and if you have already attempted to try to resolve things with the coworker without any success, I would strongly suggest that you bring this up with your supervisor and get this resolved. The extra stress is not good for you or your baby. I am sure you realize.
Check out this link. An excellent video on it helps me when I get a little stressed out myself. https://needencouragement.com/stress/
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back if you have any questions about what I have shared with you. I pray that God directs your steps and you get this resolved asap!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Stress and Anxiety
Message Body:
I am expecting a baby, and I am worried because I have been struggling with anxiety and depression. I have a conflict with someone at work, and the harassment has led to a lot of stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. I am a Christian and have been praying about this situation, but it is still taking a toll on my emotional and physical health.

Kristina,

This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

 


 

Hi Rebecca,
I am glad you have reached out for advice. My question to you is, “Have you prayed to God about this?” That is the right place to start. There is a scripture that comes to my mind after reading what you wrote. That scripture is
Proverbs 4:23  Above all else, guard your heart. For everything you do flows from it.

You need to start to think more highly of yourself, most people think too highly of themselves, but you need to speak God’s truth into your life, such as

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
If what I have shared has been of help to you, please email me back if you have any questions about what I have shared. In the meantime, I pray right now that you can take all your concerns to the Lord, and He will give you the wisdom that you need.
God bless you, and I pray He draws you more near to HIm to realize how special you indeed are in His sight!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Need Guidance
Message Body:
Hello, I’m having a tough time loving myself. When other women are praised around me, I feel like a failure. I try to be other women so I can be accepted and praised as well, but when I try to reach that goal and fail, I’m just back to feeling like a loser. I know it’s a deeper meaning to why I react with envy because I’m not as qualified as other women or Godly enough. I want to learn to love the person God created me to be. When I’m compared to other women, I won’t get offended or hurt about it, to the point that I’m crying, asking myself when I will be good enough. I need counseling, but I don’t have the money to pay for one.

This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

 


 

Hi Kendra,
A couple of things to keep in mind are the keys to how things will turn out.
  1. First, pray every day with your husband. Then, ask God for what you need!
  2. Second, make sure you are on the same team. Your daughter will pick up on divisions.
  3. Even though you love your daughter, she is not your friend. First, she is your daughter first.
  4. Have your ears open and choose what you both are going to say in unity. Be humble yet confident.
  5. Do not be afraid to say no to your daughter.
  6. Do not be afraid to do what is right with your daughter.
  7. Set up your rules after praying and seeking wise counsel, and then stick to them.
It would be best if you fought wisely for your daughter’s sake. It is kind of like a war. It would help if you were prepared, have ammunition and resources. There might be some anxiety or hurt feelings, but if you keep your eyes on the Lord and follow HIS marching orders, not your own or your daughters, but HIS marching orders, you will come out on this on top. Keep in mind that your daughter has free will and also keep in mind that no matter how much you and your husband love your daughter, your marriage relationship must come first only behind your relationships with GOD,
I pray that all goes well, and it would be nice to hear back from you to let me know how things are developing with the three of you.
God bless you!

—–Original Message—–


Dear Bill,

 Thanks so much for your wonderful, encouraging advice and website! I appreciate you taking the time to address these important issues and the related Bible verses to reflect on. You bring up some valid points, and I’ve shared your email with Dave.
 I just began working with a counselor (independent from my daughter), as my husband has told me, “you keep doubling down on what’s not working,” so I want to open the door to improved parenting realizations to start with. (I’m not good at the fun part/too intense, for one thing). I want my kids to respond to me in obedience as they do to Dave. On a positive note, I just finished a helpful group Bible study, as well, and pray daily for my kids and at night with them. I am seeking fun ways to connect with my daughter, so she’s more receptive to me (this is working) as her mother, and we connect better! The preteen/ teen years can be challenging.
Could I ask your prayer team to pray for my husband, Dave? That he would have the heart to take the reigns a bit more, support me, and be a more willing prayer warrior? He is a conservative Christian but not a regular church attender or Bible reader. I think it is important to him to preserve his relationship with my daughter, and he’ll generally pray with me leading prayer. We both want well-adjusted, happy, healthy God-fearing kids and discuss this regularly.
Blessings,
Kendra

 

 

Hi Kendra,
My first bit of advice is for you to begin praying about this situation with your daughter each morning with your husband. The second bit of advice is for you to team up with your husband in an untied force. The third thing is to set up a time for you and your husband and daughter to sit down and talk this out.  It seems as though you might have accidentally given your daughter too much say in things, and she has lost some respect for you. Finally, since your daughter is usually angry with you, not your husband, have your husband be the so-called “bad guy” and have him lay down the law instead of you. This situation is between you and your husband and daughter, so it ought to try to be resolved by you guys first and foremost. Not to get Christian counseling involved right away.

Proverbs 19:18  Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
I would try the suggestions I have given to you before doing anything else, such as changing schools, getting Christian counseling. Try this for a couple of weeks and see if there is any noticeable improvement. If not, then, by all means, get Christian counseling involved. What does your pastor have to say about your situation?

Proverbs 22:6  Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.
If what I have said has been of help to you, please feel free to email me back with any questions about what I said. I will be praying for you that whatever your daughter’s problem is, that when the three of you talk in length (at least an hour or even more) that you can start to understand what is going on in her heart and head. Most likely, this has been brewing for quite some time, and now is the time to ask God to help you and your husband work together to make things right again.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Keep in mind that she is only 12 years old, and being your daughter, she needs permission to do things while she is in your home, such as using the computer, cell phone, curfew, allowance, etc.  All these things can be taken away from her if she refuses to cooperate and live by your house rules. It might sound a little harsh, but I strongly believe that parents are afraid of upsetting their children, so in turn, they sometimes tend to spoil them. I hope this is not the case with you and your husband. Please make sure you get your husband on board with these plans. There is power in numbers. Otherwise, I am very sorry to say your chances are not that favorable for much-lasting success, happiness, and peace in your family.
Remember to pray about this every morning with your husband, and you will find that some breakthroughs will begin to happen. Also, when you talk with your daughter, make sure you ask some strategic questions and allow her to talk as much as she needs to. I pray that what I have suggested gets implemented, and the Lord works things out for all three of you!
I am 60 years old, and I raised 2 kids. My motto with them was to be Firm, Fair, and Fun. That is very general but very encompassing at the same time! So again, I can not help but emphasize the importance that you and your husband work TOGETHER!!!!!
God bless you and your daughter and husband!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Coaching regarding relationship with distressed 12-year-old daughter
Message Body:
Hi. I’d like some advice re: connecting w/my preteen who will not listen to me and has told me she does not like me. She’s angry (usually with me and not my husband) and is on social media too often. I am concerned she is depressed. This is very disturbing to me as I love her and want a good relationship and be happy and healthy. I need advice on the next steps (change of school for next year possibly & how to get her into Christian counseling).
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

 


—–Original Message—–

Subject: I need help from God with everything. My life is a mess. And there is nothing I can do to fix it.
Message Body:
My name is Elinor. I’m a 56-year-old disabled widow living on sci. I need a substantial financial miracle so I can move to PA. I get 1309 a month, so I  can’t afford it. I’m desperate to move  God is the only one who can help me.
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

 

 


 

 

 

Hi Christy,
I pray that God directs you to find a way off the streets. I have a couple of ideas for you, in addition to keep praying. First, remember that God loves you and has a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11-13  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
My suggestion is to contact these organizations and let them know what state you are in to help you.
I hope that these three organizations can be of some help to you. I pray that something soon opens up somewhere for you.
I also pray for your health and medical problems. Here is a link that can be of help to you.
I hope the information that I shared with you will help you. If you have any questions feel free to email me back.

God bless you and keep you strong!

Romans 10:13  for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: I  NEED HELP TO GET OFF THE STREETS
Message Body:
I NEED HELP AND LOVE TO GET OFF THE STREETS, AND THANKS FOR BEING A FRIEND, AND I NEED PEOPLE TO ENCOURAGE AND LOVE AND SUPPORT AND PRAY FOR CHRISTY CLEGHORN NOT TO DIE OF CANCER AND DIABETES AND LONELINESS AND PRAY FOR CHRISTY CLEGHORN NOT TO DIE OF LONELINESS AND PLEASE HELP ME, AND I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK TOO THANKS
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 


 

Hi Corinna,

 

I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling with depression. I, too, struggled with depression twice in my life. Once when I was in high school and the other time in 2005, when my wife moved out of the house for two years and then finally divorced me. I know the crippling effect that depression can have on a person, and I know you do too.

 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

You are correct to say that God can help you overcome this depression, but do not be tempted to know better than God with what you need and do not need. If you have been taking your depression out on yourself and your kids for a while now, you need to take a closer look at why you are depressed? And how you are going to manage the depression before it gets worse.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

  1. Has something devastating happened to you for you to get depressed?
  2. Is there any unconfessed sin in your life that you need to confess to God and get right with Him?
  3. Is there something physical such as your diet, sleep, exercise, stress?
  4. Are you using drugs or alcohol?

It concerns me when you say that you take it out on yourself and your kids. I mentioned that I was very depressed, and I had no power of my own to snap out of it (yes, I believe in the power of God as it seems you do too), but I also believe in the omnipotence of God and that He has given doctors wisdom and knowledge to help us. I took a medicine called Cymbalta for about 2monnths, and sure enough, I started to get out of the depression. I was crying a lot, and my thoughts were very negative and dark. God pointed me to the medical attention I needed, and it helped. I give God all the credit for my getting out of depression through the help of the doctor and Cymbalta. Sure, I had to take care of other areas of my life, such as my diet, sleep, exercise, just like you need to do.

 

Here is are a couple of links that can be of help to you.

 

https://needencouragement.com/depression/

https://needencouragement.com/deep-sadness/

https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/

 

If what I have shared has been of help to you, and if you have any questions about what I said, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to answer your questions. In the meantime, I pray that you will seek the Lord with all your heart and try to get some support to help take care of your kids a little bit. (it can be hard enough taking care of kids when a person is feeling normal, but when you are depressed, it makes everything that much more challenging.

 

God bless you. Keep praying and seeking the Lord! https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

 

 

 

 

Having a bad day?

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Prayer request

Message Body:

I struggle with depression. I take it out on myself and my kids. Please help me overcome this. I don’t believe in medical care. But, I know God can help me overcome this.


Hi Gina,
I am glad you have reached out for some help. Unfortunately, we only do email, not texting. If you want to email me, I will try to see how I can point you to Jesus.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Depression
Message Body:
Hey, I just wanted someone to text with and hopefully help me with my problems.

To: you Details

Thanks. I’ll do it!
Hi Rosemary,
I hear your pain…but do not give up because, with God, all things are possible! Have you been praying about your situation with your husband? Or at least praying on your own? How have you been of help to him lately? Have you considered getting marital counseling that can be of great help to you guys?
I know the feeling of wanting a marriage to stay alive. I was married for ten years, the last two years, my wife moved out, but I refused to divorce her, I took the high road, and that is what I want you to do. Yes, if your marriage does not get better soon, you too will be on the high road, but that is the only road I suggest being on. First, you need to get someone on your team, such as a pastor, counselor, and in the meantime, respect and love your husband even if it seems like it is a waste of time doing so. What does your dad say about your situation, or doesn’t he know what is going on?
All three of these links can be of help to you and your marriage:

I would like you to do five things:

  1. Pray each night before bed and each morning when you get up for the next two weeks.
  2. Ask God to soften his heart and make him want to love you the way he did when you first got married.
  3. Ask God to make you even more submissive and patient with your husband.
  4. Make it your goal to do whatever you can to put life back in your marriage, no matter what his attitude may be like, do it on to the Lord!
  5. Get ahold of your pastor or make an appointment with a counselor asap.
If what I have shared with you has been any help to you, please feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I shared with you about your marriage.

 

1 Peter 3:1Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I will be praying for you that you come to God humbly asking Him to restore your marriage and make the two of you whole again!
God bless you!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: What to do? Need help along the way
Message Body:
Hi, my name is Rosemary. I am newly married. I grew up in the church and strayed away. I have been through so much trying to do things my way, but  I know I have to do God’s way and not man. My dad is a pastor, and you know how it is being a preacher’s kid, aka “PK.” I recently married in February and want to have a great life and family home. My husband is a great guy deep down but lives the street life. This was not revealed or an issue until we got married. I want to wake up in the morning and just be happy and thank God for allowing us all to see another day. He wakes up with things that do not matter. He seems not to be in touch with reality and the things that matter, such as God, family, love, etc. He says that h does, but actions say differently. I try to stay positive, but the negative energy bothers me. I am tired of arguing but want to stay married. Lord God, I pray 24/7 for peace and happiness.

Hi Robert,
A couple of questions to consider asking your wife:
  1. Would you be willing to sleep in bed with me again?
  2. If she says not yet, when would she be willing to sleep with you again as a goal?
  3. What would I need to do to make you want to sleep with me again?
You are the man Robert. You need to take the initiative!
  1. Start by initiating conversations with her. Then, use open-ended questions to get her to start talking.
  2. Are you not employed?
  3. What other friends do you have in your life? If they are Christian and will be helpful to you, then reach out to them.
  4. Remember, your best friend Jesus will never leave you or forsake you!
Is your wife interested in staying married to you?
Is your wife talking about getting a divorce?
Keep walking forward. You will get to where you need to and want to be!
Hi Robert.
What you feel in reality does not matter. The fact is that if you are a Born Again Christain, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. If you were truly Born Again, you know that God’s word says you are forgiven. Your statement makes me wonder if you were saved or not?
  1. How old were you when you were Born Again?
  2. Did someone explaining things to you clearly?
  3. Or did you blindly go through the ritual because someone made you do so?
Here is a link to explaining more about being Born Again. https://needencouragement.com/born-again/
If you are sure asked God into your heart, and you understood, and nobody forced you to? If by faith you were saved, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you. If you have asked God to forgive you, then you are forgiven. https://needencouragement.com/forgiven/
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 3:6

No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

1 John 3:1-10
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3  All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure. 4  Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. 5  But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. 6  No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. 7  Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. 8  The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. 9  No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10  This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
Does what I have shared with you make sense?
Bill Greguska
Robert, If you have been Born Again, and you asked God to forgive you, then you are forgiven!
Jesus Paid It All

—–Original Message—–

To be a better Christian How?
Praying everyday and reading my bible.
To be a better husband How?
Not getting upset with my wife.  Doing things for her without grumbling
To be free from this sin. How
? To stay in the word.  Meditate on bible verses
Next time a sexual thought comes up in your mind, what do you plan to do about it?
I need to do what the word says.  To bring into captivity those thoughts.
Doubting / unbelief Doubting God or doubting yourself, either way, what are you going to do to change that? Pray.


You referring to mental adultery in your mind not physical adultery with someone right?
Yes. Mental adultery.
How long ago did you commit adultery? Does your wife know?
It’s was awhile ago and yes my wife knows and I’ve been checked out.
Robert,
You are going to have to get over the way you think about yourself and start to think about yourself the way God sees you because of the blood of His son Jesus who died for you. God sees you without sin or condemnation.
I am afraid to tell you that if you do not change the way you start thinking about things in your life, you will be bound to continue to repeat the ways Satan has influenced you. You are set free, so be free starting today.
Robert, you need to stop doing and thinking in terms of how Robert thinks and feels and start to search diligently how God thinks and feels and start doing His will.
Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

 

1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4given

—–Original Message—–

This how I feel. 

unworthy of Christ’s forgiveness for continually falling into sexual sin. You may even feel like you can’t ask for His forgiveness because you’ve sinned too many times.

 

 


 

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Bible request
Message Body:
Dear brethren
    I salute you in Jesus’s name. God is so great! He Has been a blessing to our church, and I believe He will continue to be a blessing to our friendship into perfection even in this time of the pandemic.
    After prayers, we decided to write to you. We hope our lord has a purpose for you and us to spread God’s message before He comes to take us home where there will be no sorrow nor crying. As time goes by, we believe God will pour His blessings amongst us for us to continue to grow both Spiritually and Physically.
    We are 113 members in our church get more people each time we get together for a word of God. We don’t have the holy bible to read and share among the members, especially when we keep our distance .we are requesting you to send Ekegusii language holy bibles. Even the used ones come and administer to us. At your Free and convince time? May God bless you as we hope to hear from you. Let our God reward you the More. The plan also to visit us here in Kenya to share the word.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Be Blessed all. Keep safe.
Pastor Cyrus
This e-mail was sent from a contact form  (http://needencouragement.com)

Hi Jhon,
I apologize, but our ministry only counsels via email.
But, you can call 800-633-3446 to talk with someone, or you can chat by going to https://needencouragement.com/chat/.

One-time Free Christian Professional Counseling Offer!

Connect with a Certified Christian Counselor800-700-7000

Or, Chat Online with a Christian Anonymously to help you get on back on track!

Or, call and talk with someone at 800-633-3446 /24 hours a day!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “I HAVE A QUESTION”

Hi Bill,  yes I’m so interested to ask you to pray for me and guide me on how to overcome my sexual struggle.  I wish we could talk on voice, even once, maybe through Google Meet or Skype or Zoom, so I can talk and share with you, and you can pray with me.  How does this sound?  Please let me know if there are any other options I can do to reach you.  Hope to hear from you soon.  God bless you

-Jhon
Hi Jhon,
I am glad you have reached out for help. Yes, I would be willing to offer you some free Christian counseling. I am not either a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I have been a born-again Christian since 1986. Sometimes a  psychologist or psychiatrist can be helpful in some situations, but the word of God has all the answers that one needs to find answers that you are searching for the sexual problems you are experiencing.
1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If you wish to email me, I am willing to help point you to Jesus and the wisdom from the Bible. I will pray that you will think and pray about what I am saying and if you wish to get back to me, please feel free to do so
You have not mentioned details to me, but I am sure that links will be of help to you to get you started.
God bless you, Jhon!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: I HAVE A QUESTION
Message Body:
Hi, I’d like to ask if you offer free online counseling. I wish to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about a sexual problem that has slaved me for 12 years now. Thanks.

This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

 

Good morning Stela,
It is wonderful to hear that you want to get right with God. He knows your heart and wants to have a close relationship with you. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

Stela, I read what you said about praying to God, but it seems not to work. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/ My question to you is, have you confessed your sins to God. For God will not honor our prayers if we are harboring sin in our lives. https://needencouragement.com/need-integrity/

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Here is an excellent link to give you some insights about pornography that can help you.
If what I have shared has been of help to you, please feel free to get back to me, and I can answer any question about what I have shared. Please try to confess your sins and continue praying with a renewed spirit. May God bless you as you walk with him each day forward. I pray that your prayer will begin to be answered after you confess your sins to God.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Counseling”

Thank you for replying to my mail.

Pornography, sexual immorality, lies telling, theft are the things I’m really struggling with.
I have prayed, but it seems not to work.
I really desire to live a holy life.

 

Hi Stela,
If you would like to share what is going on, I can possibly be of help to you.
Have you been praying each day about this addiction of yours? That is the first place to go for help is to God!
Let me know what is going on.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
I have been struggling with some addiction, and please need your help to get out of it.
This e-mail was sent from a contact form (http://needencouragement.com)

Hi Patrick,

I can only assume that each girl does not know about the other girl.
You have known them 2-3 years now, and depending on how much you want to get married, determines partially what you ought to do. If I were you, I would make a list of all the pros and cons of each girl. Keep praying and be patient and honest with both of them, not to lead them on thinking that they are your boyfriend. You need to think this out and decide relatively soon since this has been going on for at least 2 years now.

 

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Keep praying and be wise and patient.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–


Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Decision making: help me please”

Hello Bill

Many thanks for your response. I really appreciate it. Below are my answers to your questions.
  1. Have you been praying about what decisions you are trying to make? Yes.
  2. Have you gotten to know either girl very much? I mean, what makes them tick and what they value in life? Well yeah, girl1 for 3 years & girl2 for 2 years. As I wrote in an earlier email, girl1 is growing day by day. She is
  3. Have you gotten intimate with either one of them? If so, you need to stop and confess that to God and ask for forgiveness since that is a sin. – I have never been intimate with either of them. Yes, I kissed both but nothing more than that. No sex, no physical touch except holding hands & hugs, probably 5 times in the past 2+ years. Nothing else.
  4. What do your parents think of both girls? Parents say girl1 is much more practical than girl2(though  girl2 seems more religious/spiritual) because girl1 lives in Europe and girl2 lives in Israel with her parents, with a closed community, very limited exposure to the world.. her parents are very protective…
  5. What girl do you feel most comfortable with? with both, I am comfortable, except that her parents influence girl2 in most decisions.
  6. Which girl do you trust the most? I trust both
  7. Which girl respects you the most? Both respect me more.
  8. Which girl do you enjoy being with the most? – Girl1 is a bit more jovial, friendly & practical & of course, growing day by day more in spiritual life. girl1 is not more experienced in biblical knowledge compared to girl2.  girl1 is very spiritual & religious as well since she lives with her parents all over her life & in a close community. girl2 never seen the world & her exposure & experience with the world is limited. (world – practical ways of living, huddles, complications, minimal ways to get connected to unbelievers, even in day-to-day life very limited encounters with other people in the world(unbelievers)…)
  9. Which girl do you think about the most? – that’s the confusing part for me…
I will look into the links that you send. Thanks again
Regards
Patrick

 

NeedEncouragement.com / Bill Greguska
Hi Patrick,
I am glad you are thinking about your situation and are taking it apparently very seriously. Here are a couple of thoughts for you to consider.
  1. Have you been praying about what decisions you are trying to make?
  2. Have you gotten to know either girl very much? I mean, what makes them tick and what they value in life?
  3. Have you gotten intimate with either one of them? If so, you need to stop and confess that to God and ask for forgiveness since that is a sin.
  4. What do your parents think of both girls?
  5. What girl do you feel most comfortable with?
  6. Which girl do you trust the most?
  7. Which girl respects you the most?
  8. Which girl do you enjoy being with the most?
  9. Which girl do you think about the most?
Here are a couple of links that will give you some insights into dating.
I can not directly answer your question, but I supplied you with some questions to consider to help you make up your own mind. One thing is that if God does not lead you to marry either one of them, Then is it is best to stay single until you know for sure. If you impulsively just marry one, you will most likely regret your decision. I was a little impatient and married someone I should not have, which ended in a difficult 10-year marriage and an excruciating divorce.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Decision making: help me, please
Message Body:
Dear Bro’s & Sis’s in the Lord,
Warm Christian Greetings!
(Few intros abt me..) I am 32yrs old from the south of Europe, born in a very traditional family. At the age of 13, I accepted Christ as my Lord & Personal Saviour.
(my situation..) Among the few Christian friends I have, 2 of them are close to me & I am in a deciding situation whom to choose as a girlfriend.
Girl1 – Was born in a nominal Christian family, backslid at the age of 20, been in a living together relationship with 3 men(all unbelievers) in 10 years & she encountered Christ in 2016 and was totally convicted of her sins, repented & left it away & living a separated life – I know her since 2018 till now – she is a growing Christian & have good signs of growth – she reconciled with her parents since 2016 & try to live a godly life….. I praise God for that – but when I think if she could be my girlfriend & future fiance, then I am a bit overwhelmed by her past, but at the same time I feel sad, sympathy for her & care her & probably I think I have feelings for her… I do not know how to handle this situation, sometimes I feel my heart & mind are not synchronized & it pulls me back a little in deciding…
Girl2 – Since 2yrs I know her, she is a solid Christian, never been with a man, always lived with a closed community, strong family bondage, 28years still living with her parents, no boyfriend till now, she is talented in music, the prayer life & bible knowledge & also family oriented but at the same time she is highly influenced by her parents, her parents say ” we want her for the Lord & prefer her to be single.” Still, the girl says, ” she wants to be in a relationship & want to get out of her home & her country… I strongly feel her likings towards me, and she is just waiting for me to approach her & decide…
Now about me… I accepted Christ at the age of 14 & I have never been with a girl till 29… and because of few health conditions of the girl I had to leave with her approval & her interests…. apart from that, I am not boasting. Still, to give you an overview of me, I pray & meditate every day. I really want to put christ ahead of my own interests. I try to strive to live a godly life. In all my ups & downs, I try to be humble, patient & take things slowly now. In this situation, I do not want to make any mistakes, so I am taking more time & go for it…
Could you please help me with your valuable suggestions ( i am praying about this for 8 months and my parents)? So should I still wait for the Lord, or Should I just forgive & forget the past of Girl1 and go for her, or Should I just go for Girl2?

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