Response Letters 6

Below are some of the questions people have emailed in to ask us about.

I personally am not a professional counselor, yet I have been a Born-Again Christian since 1986. Our responses are based on Biblical principles found in the Bible and through prayer and links to our website.

 

 

 

 

 


 

Below are some of the questions people have emailed in to ask us.

 

Subject: Looking for Encouragement and Someone to talk to

Message Body:

Hello,

Could you send me some more information about your organization and what you can do to help with discouragement?  How are you trained?

Thanks,

Linda

 

Hi Linda,

I am glad you have reached out for some encouragement. If you could be more specific, that would help us to help you.

As far as my training, I have been a born-again Christian led by the Holy Spirit since June 25th, 1986, I know the Lord, and I am familiar with what His word teaches. Pastor Ron and Sue Sauer have mentored me. I have been involved in many Bible studies. I started this website back in 2007 and have been helping encourage people since then and even before.

My Personal Testimony As A Christian

I also have attended Elmbrook Church for 23 years. I do not have formal theological training, but God has taught me through His Word, and I also have learned through the school of hard knocks. I am equipped to point you to Jesus Christ, but I need to know what your needs are?

Here is a link to our about us page… https://needencouragement.com/about-us/

I look forward to hearing back from you. I am not offended that you asked how I was trained. It is good to know a little about a person before opening up yourself to counseling. God bless you!

Have a blessed day!

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

 

 


 

 

Subject: Cost

Message Body:

Hello,

What is the price per session after the free one?

Many blessings,

Joann

 

Hi JoAnn,

I can tell you that the first counseling is free, but you need to ask them after that. 

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/

Below is the phone number you can call to find out more information.

To request a conversation with Focus on the Family’s Counseling Department, call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) on weekdays from 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Mountain Time), or complete our Counseling Consultation Request Form. Please be prepared to leave your contact information for a counselor to return a call to you as soon as possible. The consultation is available at no cost to you due to generous donor support and will be with one of our licensed or pastoral counseling specialists.

I hope they can be of help to you.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

 

 


 

Subject: Husband problems

Message Body:

 

Hi, I’m a 68-year-old Christian married woman in a toxic marriage.  We’ve been married almost ten years, and my husband is very verbally abusive to me (getting extremely angry over the tiniest mistake or “oopsie,” yelling, screaming, and cursing at me).  I have even left him several times and stayed with a friend for a few days.  He adamantly refuses to go to counseling with me and recently told me that he does not believe ANY counselor can help him because he has a demon.  I am not in a position to leave him permanently or divorce him, as I need his financial support.  He is 12 years younger than me and still employed. My only income is a small Social Security check.  I have even fasted and prayed about this and have shed “rivers” of tears.  Things get better for a while, and then when I least expect it, his rage and anger volcano erupts again.  Please tell me what I can do before I go insane!  I cannot afford to go to counseling by myself, and even if finances were not a problem, I do not want to risk contracting COVID.  Is there some way you can help me?  Please let me know ASAP. Joanie

 

Hi Joanie,

I am glad that you have reached out. It sounds like a heavy burden you are carrying, yet there still is hope. My first suggestion is to pray and pray strategically each time you have a meal. Ask God for His wisdom and protection from the anger of your husband. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. Have you been praying for your husband too?

 

There must be something that is making him so upset? Hopefully, it is a temporary situation, and it will pass over, but maybe it is here to stay for a while. In any case, all relationships need healthy boundaries, or else in your case. You may become sick because of not having limits. https://needencouragement.com/toxic-relationships/

 

You might want to change the approach you have been using with him. A saying goes, “Insanity is expecting different results with the same behavior. “Maybe for a while (a week or two or so), when he explodes at you, do not react to his foolishness but rather allow him to see the calm in you, which might defuse his anger and bring him to his senses.

 

Of course, this is only a temporary possible solution, but it might just do the trick. I am sure that you have been saying things (meaning well), but his ears are possibly hearing you as the enemy. You can not change your husband, BUT GOD CAN, SO PRAY FOR HIM and try to overlook his anger for a little while, except if he were to harm you physically, then that is a different story. Let’s pray it does not get to that point. Your marriage needs fixing, and this video will shed some light on things for you https://needencouragement.com/fix-marriage-problems/.

 

Try to be even kinder to him than you usually have been. This will speak volumes to him and make him more receptive to you. Make a few exceptional dinners, take care of your inner and outer beauty, speak softer, and even n share an excellent clean joke from the Internet. It seems by what you are saying that you have been assigned to keep the marriage alive. It should not matter who will do it, just as long as it will be done.

 

One more thought is to invite another couple over for coffee or dinner to play a board game, but do not pressure him too much if he does not want to. Keep thinking about solutions, and the Lord will answer your prayers!

 

This page might help you since there is a video meant to learn about women, but it might help you listen more closely to your husband since you are now trying to make things work. Let’s pray that he comes around soon too. https://needencouragement.com/improve-your-marriage/

 

If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back.

 

I pray that God gives you the strength you need, the wisdom you need, and the patience and love you need to keep the two of you together and find a better sense of happiness and joy together. Life is too short to be fussing and fighting.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

 

God bless you, and do not give up hope!
Bill Greguska

Dear Bill,

Wow! I am genuinely astonished. Since your service is free, I didn’t even expect to get a reply, much less a speedy one. Usually, when anything is FREE, you get “your money’s worth in today’s world.” But your advice is priceless! I can’t thank you enough. You and I are total strangers, just two people using the internet to communicate, but you have taken it upon yourself to *empathize* with me. That is extremely rare, even among Christians.

Yes, I pray for my husband, for God to remove or cast out the demon (if he DOES have a demon) and give him a calm, peaceful, forgiving attitude. And I have read several books on casting out demons. I pray for God to *truly and completely* save him and FILL HIM with the Holy Spirit. He claims to be a saved Christian, but No man can serve two masters. (Matthew 6:24). I have even fasted and prayed about my marriage and his anger issues. And I have told him that I am praying about *our* problems. Since this horrendous pandemic started, we have had to stop going to church, but we started in March of 2020, having home Bible study together on Sunday, and we’ve been pretty consistent with it. We’ve now almost read the whole Bible together, reading each chapter aloud. He looks forward to it, as do I.
I just wish and pray that he would stop “giving in” to his anger and exploding — mainly at me, but he stays in a constant state of negativity and anger. He says all the time, “That pisses me off!” He gets outraged at other drivers who cut him off in traffic and similar annoyances. Just yesterday, he found out that our music video playlist he had built up over several months and saved on his phone (over 800 songs) had been 90% erased/deleted or “stolen.” He said, “If I knew who did that, I would murder them!” That attitude deeply disturbs me and downright scares me! BUT . . . I will implement some of the suggested strategies (the ones I haven’t already tried).

I think this must be mentioned: he has a brutal drug history (before he and I got together) but has been clean for over 11 years. He has tremendous anxiety, and we visited our doctor last May and shared this issue with him. He prescribed an antidepressant for both of us (as I have battled depression for years, which I’m sure doesn’t surprise you). I have also persuaded him to take vitamins and calming minerals & supplements, which he does, but not consistently. This is my 3rd marriage (2nd one was VERY abusive!) and his 2nd marriage. His former wife was very mean to HIM, verbally and physically. This is true, as I have talked to other people who knew him back then. Plus, he has scars on his body from her clawing him with her fingernails. She had MAJOR trust issues. I know that this past abuse he endured for 23 years has a bearing on his present behavior and that he’s transferring a lot of this to me. But he has to come to terms with all of that and STOP taking it out on me!

Again, I thank you for your caring, empathizing advice from the bottom of my heart. You are a rare, unique person. And last but not least, please keep me (and our marriage) in your daily prayers.

Sincerely,

Joanie

 

Hi Joanie,

 

I was glad to share my hope and strength with you. My wife and I had a challenging marriage, and because of it was birthed this website NeedEncouragement.com since my pastor Ron and his wife Sue Sauer counseled my ex and me for about a year, and when my wife gave up and moved out of our house for two years, then finally divorced me. It was devastating to me. I got very depressed and crashed and burned. Sue Sauer’s idea was for me to focus on encouraging others to get out of my depression. I listened to her and started this website in 2007, and it has been of great help not only to others but also to me. You might want to consider trying to encourage someone you know who needs some help too.

 

I built wheelchair ramps for ten years, and during that time, I learned and relearned that if you take a screw out of the wood and try to use the same hole to catch a piece of wood better, it does not work. Like I am trying to tell you, you need to change your approach; otherwise, you will get the same negative results. (I hope that makes sense to you)

 

One more thought, I encourage you to put your energy into pleasing the Lord, and in doing so, your husband will benefit, and ultimately you will benefit. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind:

  1. Pray each morning and throughout the day, especially when tested or tempted to get frustrated.
  2. Read your Bible for at least 10-15 minutes a day.
  3. Try not to react to your husband’s negativity.
  4. Do not put a lot of thought and energy into knowing more about Satan. Put your energy into understanding God’s will better!
  5. Remember, for every step forward. It is one step away from how things used to be and one step closer to where you want them to be.
  6. Maybe both you and your husband could get a check-up from your doctor. There might be some physical issues going on with either one of you?
  7. Try to have gentle answers to him.
  8. Buy your husband a card or small gift as a pleasant surprise.
  9. Take care of your health – eat healthy, sleep 7-8 hours a night, exercise daily, even walking is excellent.
  10. Don’t forget to laugh.
  11. Make it a point to encourage someone, and do that regularly. (your husband counts)
  12. Get back into your church and study.
  13. Be prepared that your husband will lose his temper, but don’t let that shake you, and keep praying for him.
  14. Encourage your husband in any way you can. When he is encouraged, you will be inspired too!
Joanie, you are going through a battle right now, it can get better, but you need to prepare yourself w I have offered you.
Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the whole armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the whole armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
May you experience God’s peace more and more each day.
Bill Greguska

 

 

 


 

Subject: I feel lost
Message Body:
Since giving my life to Christ, I haven’t been sanctified and continue to struggle with the same sins with no real progress. I haven’t also really felt God or the Spirit at all, and when I hear of the crazy things, He does in people’s lives, it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. These things and recently struggling to pray or read the word have made me feel like I’ve lost my salvation or been deceiving myself.
I’ve prayed to God but still feel like I’m being ignored. I don’t know what to do and still feel nothing from Him. I still love God and want to do all the good things, but I feel utterly hopeless after sin, forgiveness, and repeat cycles. I need some help, direction, and assurance about what I should do. Please help.
Dominic

 

 

Hi Dominic,

 

I am glad you have reached out to us, although I am sad to hear that you are struggling in your prayer life, and you say that you feel like you have lost your salvation. It sounds like you have already been saved by putting your faith and trust in God, but you are struggling with a habitual sin that you need to get rid of, not on your own, but through the power of God.

 

https://needencouragement.com/habitual-sin/

 

  1. Have you asked God for His help in your situation?
  2. Do you have anyone in you can go to for accountability in your life

 

It sounds like you are struggling with spiritual warfare, which means you are getting beaten up by Satan and allowing it to happen. You can not beat Satan in your flesh, but with God’s help, you can. Here are a couple of scriptures that might be of service to you.

 

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
1 John 3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
Do you read your Bible or pray each morning? That is something you need to start doing if you are not right now. Start off reading a paragraph or two for a week, then maybe add to your reading. Praying is very simple. It is like talking to a close friend who cares. Share with God what is on your mind, and praise Him for your life and other things you are grateful for.
An old Cherokee Indian chief was teaching his grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he told the young boy, “a fight between two wolves.
One wolf is evil, full of anger, sorrow, regret, lust, greed, bitterness, self-pity, and false pride.
The other wolf is good, full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.”
“This same fight is going on inside of you, grandson…and inside of every other person on the face of this earth.”
The grandson ponders this and asks, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?”
The old man smiled at his grandson and simply said, “The one you feed more.”
Dominic, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, and you have a question about what I have shared, please email me back, and I will try to help you more.
I pray that you make it a point to pray to God the next few days and get into His word. Remember you are in a battle, and you need God’s help if you want to be victorious?
Bill Greguska

 

 


 

 

 

Subject: encouragement
Message Body:
I have a daughter with stage 4 brain cancer. She is doing the treatments but doesn’t seem to be working….also, I take care of a friend who has no family and is slowly losing her memory and has no family here. She is from Ecuador, and her sister is 90, so she is not much help. She never married, so she has only nieces and nephews who are not that close. This gets a bit overwhelming at times, and I do not know how to carry the load… Mary

 

 

 

Hi Mary,
You are an angel for taking care of your daughter and your friend. You need to keep a pulse on how you are feeling yourself. You can not be of help to your daughter and friend if you do not do so.
I would strongly suggest that you keep in prayer, get proper sleep, exercise, eat healthy, and keep looking for help from where you live through your government or community.
Use Google to look up possible free caregiver help or assistance for yourself.
I pray that what I have shared will help you and that the Lord watches over you and your daughter and friend. If you have any questions about what I shared, please email me back.
May God bless you and give you strength and wisdom!
Bill Greguska
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as, in fact, you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
 
 

 


 

Subject: health
Message Body:
In May 2019, I was diagnosed with melanoma cancer (a small/tiny mole just above my left elbow.) I had surgery to remove the mole. The surgeon also removed five lymph nodes (under the left arm) 2/5 that were positive.  Had ongoing PET and MRI scans – all negative until this past August/2020.  Pet Scan found one lymph node (left axillary) mildly affected.  Second surgery – surgeon removed 22 lymph nodes – only the one found on the PET scan was positive.  A little story here:  30 years ago, they found a melanoma on my right ankle.  Before surgery, I went to a friend’s house for a farewell dinner with friends as I left for Kansas City, Mo, to have the surgery.
A friend asked if she could pray for me.  Of course.  As I sat on a couch, she knelt in front of me, raised her hands over my ankle, and prayed for me calmly.  Suddenly, a sharp, hot pain that shot down the front of my leg (about mid-calf) went down the leg, over my ankle and top of my foot, and out the toes.  I was stunned, never having had an experience like that before or knowing anyone who had.  I said nothing – left, made the trip to Kansas City, had the surgery – following surgery, the pathology report:  “no signs of cancer – the doctor saying “it must have just been in the mole – in situ”  I believe God saw fit to drive cancer out of my body.  So…. with that said… these many years later, I face the same cancer again—the same type but in a different place. 
I have prayed and asked others to pray for me.  I don’t have anyone to pray over me like those years ago.  I have asked God to heal me as he did back then, but nothing so spectacular so far.  I pray and hear in my “heart” – ” Your faith has made you whole”  I don’t know what that means.  Many years ago, following surgery in Kansas City, I relocated to Dallas, Tx.  Here I found the newly started Bent Tree Church.  Pete Briscoe was the new preacher.  My son and I made our first visit on the 2nd Sunday of their existence.  Pete was my pastor until he left the church. 
I would ask for your prayers.  I do not need a return call but would ask you to let me know you have received my message and maybe shared it with others.  I ask for your prayers and would love for our Father God to heal me as He did before.  I realize He might have a different outcome for me this time.  I’m now 80 years old – Given the promise in His Word, I ask to live long enough to “hear His shout and the sound of the trumpet” as we live in these last days – I base that belief on the words He spoke regarding the generation that would not pass away after Israel was “reborn.”  Thanks for this opportunity to write to you. My son’s name is David.

 

 

 

Hi Judith,
It is a small world. I know Pete Briscoe and the Briscoe family. Stuart was head pastor at Elmbrook back when I first attended in 1989. I do not know Pete intimately, but I know his brother Dave and his mom and dad. But I do know that Pete was an outstanding basketball player.  I also visited Bent Tree Church here in downtown Milwaukee a few times. Pete did a recorded message there. I love Stuart and Jill, and even Dave. Dave helped me a lot when my wife moved out for two years and refused to work things out. Dave was a guardian angel to me, helping me keep my mind and emotions intact. https://needencouragement.com/pastor-stuart-briscoe/
Judith, thank you for your descriptive testimony, too. I had heard a testimony like yours when someone was praying over them. I never experienced it myself, but I believe what you shared was God’s truth. Praise God!!! It never stops amazing me how God works! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. There is so much negative news in the media, and it is encouraging me to hear your story!
May God continue to bless you and keep you whole…
Bill Greguska
Stuart and Jill Briscoe are excellent people, and I am glad God put them in my life!

Stuart and Jill Briscoe NeedEncouragement

 


 

 

 

Subject: messed up sleeping pattern & problems with basic functioning because of sleep problem.

Message Body:

 

Need I needed & prayer to help me get back on track with my sleep. Betty Ann

 

 

 

Hi Betty Ann,

 

I am glad you decided to reach out for help. I am not a medical person, but I know some things about messed-up sleep patterns from personal experience.

 

My doctor instructed me and a couple of other people I often go to for advice.

  1. Pray and ask God to give you peace and peaceful sleep.
  2. Avoid anything with caffeine, such as coffee or soda. Even chocolate has caffeine in it and should be avoided.
  3. Make sure you get some exercise each day; even walking can be good.
  4. Drink decaffeinated tea before bed. There is a special bedtime tea you should consider.
  5. I have gotten into a great habit that seems to work for me. When I lay down to sleep, I take five deep breaths holding each for 7 seconds and let out slowly for 7 seconds with my lips slightly together to allow the air to exhale slowly.
  6. Another thought is to deal with anything you are worried about, anyone you are withholding forgiveness from, or anyone you need to resolve any problems with.

Consider trying some or all of these suggestions, and keep praying for your sleep to return to you!

 

If what I suggested has been helpful, please email me back if you have any questions or need to share anything else.

 

I trust and pray that you get your sleep back real soon.

 

 

Bill Greguska

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

 

 


 

Subject: Marriage
Message Body:
My wife and I are going through a very struggling time in our marriage, and we need some counseling. Robert

 

 

Hi Robert,
I can help you through the positive and negative experiences that I have had in my marriage and how to build your marriage stronger.
Let me ask you a couple of questions:
  1. Do you pray for or pray with your wife?
  2. As the leader, have you attempted to sit down and talk with your wife about making things better?
  3. When your wife talks to you, do you listen to her?
  4. Do you often keep your word to your wife or change plans?
  5. Do you go to church with your wife?
  6. Do you go on date nights with your wife at least once a week?
  7. Do you tell your wife you love her and show her how you behave?
  8. Do you approach her in romantic ways still?
  9. Does pornography tempt you?
  10. Do you have an alcohol or drug problem?
  11. Do you raise your voice to your wife?
  12. Do you spend enough time with your wife, or does she complain?
  13. What have you done to make your marriage better as of today?
  14. Do you believe that divorce is not an option?
  15. Are you willing to do what it takes to get your marriage back on track?

Your answers to these questions will shed some light on your marriage’s condition, and then you need to start to look at each item and do what is right. Otherwise, your wedding will continue to struggle, unfortunately.

Ephesians 5:25-30 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of his body.
I hope what I have shared has opened your mind to help you in your marriage. If so, and if you have more to say or have any questions to ask, please email me back, and I will try to help you some more.
God bless you and your marriage,
Bill Greguska

 

 

 


 

 

 

Subject: Prayer request
Message Body:
Please pray for my daughter Veronica as she feels lost in the world of sin and temptation.
It’s tough to watch her walk in her disappointment. Anita

 

 

 

Hi Anita,
I am glad that you reached out for prayer. I pray that the Lord would put someone in your daughter’s path that can be an encouragement to her. I also pray that the Lord convicts her heart to the point of her coming to God with a broken, contrite heart.
Continue to pray for her each day. You might want to even fast food or some other pleasure while you pray for your daughter Veronica. You did not mention if she is a believer or not. If she is not, talk to her about God, yet be gentle while doing so.

In the meantime, continue to love her, point her to the Lord, and be available to her if she wants to talk about her sin and temptation. Try not to nag her about her sin. That will only pull the two of you apart. But instead, be positive and set a good example for her by the way you talk with her and let her know that you love her, but not her sin. That is what the Holy Spirit will have to convict her of. Veronica is in the middle of spiritual warfare. View this link to learn more.
Ephesians 6:12-13 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Try to spend time with her and try to encourage her. Maybe take her out to eat or spend time with her alone. Maybe think of how you would like someone to treat you if you were involved with sin and temptation. I pray that whatever is going on with her will be exposed to the light, and Veronica will be freed from her struggles. Let’s pray that God will answer our prayers for Veronica!
God bless you, and I will pray for you and your daughter…
Bill Greguska
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as, in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

 

 

 


 

 

Subject: Scared about future
Message Body:
I’m a girl of age 18 and soon will be 19 in a few days. I’ve recently felt scared about my future, though I persistently pray to god every day regarding this. My love life, family, education, and even finances lay a question mark in front of me. It was within me for so many days, and today I had broken down thinking this. Everyone says it’s overthinking, but the truth is I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to have a breakthrough over all these obstacles. Please guide me.
Chelsi

Hi Chelsi,

I am glad you reached out for some advice. My best advice is to keep praying about your situation and get into God’s Word to give you the direction you need. I can offer you some advice, although it would be hard to advise you. But I can tell you that you are doing what the scriptures teach us. You are examining your life, which is good and healthy. Right now, the world is fighting Coronavirus, which does not make things any easier.

Luke 14:28-30 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and cannot finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’
 
It seems you have your eyes set on the wave, keep your eyes on the Lord. Keep in mind what it says in God’s Word.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Here is a link that can help you with your finances. https://needencouragement.com/plan-a-budget/

 

The Bible also says to obey God’s word. I say this because you said below, “My love life,” which makes me question if you are married. After all, if you are not married, the Bible mentions that a “love life” is only for marriage. If you are not married, maybe that is why you feel scared and have feelings of guilt? Please accept my apology if I misunderstood what you were trying to say. Please forgive me. I am just trying to help you. It sounded like you were having sex outside of marriage.
 
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Here is a link to help you with praying. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

God’s word also talks about what we should do with our fears and worries. Look back at your life and try to recall the times when you were afraid, and remember that I would guess to say, 3/4 of those fears never materialized, or God took care of them for you. Right now, you need to stop worrying and shovel all your insecurities onto the Lord.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Here is a link to help you with fear. https://needencouragement.com/fear/
Here are a couple of efficient things that can help you.
  1. Keep praying.
  2. Read your Bible at least a little each day.
  3. Get regular exercise.
  4. Eat healthy food, and avoid garbage, food, and alcohol.
  5. Drink enough water each day.
  6. Get 7-8 hours of sleep.
  7. Make you keep in touch with close friends and family for support.
  8. Keep your sense of humor, and enjoy some laughter.
  9. Forgive anyone who has done you wrong, do not hold on to resentments.
  10. It may sound counterintuitive, but try to encourage someone else.
 
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If it has been, please email me back if you have more to say or have any questions.
 

I pray that you put your trust in the Lord where it belongs and get it off your shoulders where it does not belong. Here is one more scripture for you to consider.
Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God bless you,
Bill Greguska

 

 

 


 

 

Subject: Marriage advice

Message Body:

 

I can’t believe I am doing this online, but I am still confused after much prayer.  My husband of 21 years is not a Christian.  We struggle to keep a loving relationship, trying to “force” it.  I have fallen in love with another Christian man with that; I have a fantastic connection. Although I have not met him in person, I can’t stop dreaming of a future with him and feel that God has brought our lives together for a purpose. 

 

Is seeking divorce a complete sin in my case? My husband is not abusive. The worst I can accuse him of is being sarcastic and pessimistic. He forgave me for infidelity in the past.  But maybe the loving thing would be to let him go.  I know the Bible says God hates divorce.  I’m very torn up and confused.  I would rather be alone and take my chances with the man I met, even if it doesn’t work out when I meet him in person.  Arghh.

Amy

 

Hi Amy,

 

I am glad you reached out for advice. I will be praying for you and your husband. I know that you are not the only one struggling in marriage. Look at what you, yourself, just told me in your short email:

  1. You are absolutely right that God hates divorce.
  2. Your husband is not abusive. The worst you can accuse him of is being sarcastic and pessimistic.
  3. He forgave you for infidelity in the past.
  4. You have been married for 21 years.

 

Here are a few pages that I am sure will be of help to you

 

https://needencouragement.com/improve-your-marriage/

https://needencouragement.com/better-marriage/

https://needencouragement.com/fix-marriage-problems/

 

 

If you did not already, the first thing you need to do is tell the guy you are online with that you are married. You identify as a Christian, yet if you love the Lord and follow Him, it would be straightforward to solve your confusion that stems from allowing your emotions to get the best of you.

 

Here is what I would suggest that you do right away.

  1. Ask God to forgive you for wandering where you should not have been with the guys on the internet. 1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar, and his word is not in us.
  2. Pray and read your Bible each morning.
  3. Talk to your husband about getting marital counseling. Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
  4. Promise yourself that you will send one last communication to the man on the internet, explaining how cheating on your husband is wrong and that God is convicting you of it. And as of now, you are not going to communicate with him after that email. Psalm 51:17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
  5. How can you honestly say you are working on your marriage when emailing another guy? Put that energy into your husband, and I am sure he will come around.
  6. For starters, tell your husband what you need from him specifically; say it so as not to complain or belittle him; just let him know your needs. If he is such a wonderful man you say he is, he will come through to some degree, and things will start to improve. You have to start somewhere!
  7. You say you have been praying, and at the same time, you are cheating on your husband. God will not hear your prayers until you confess and repent of the sin you are in right now with the internet guy. You are confused because you are not walking with the Lord.  James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Romans 7:1-3 Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? For example, by law, a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.

Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman [man] lustfully has already committed adultery with her [him] in his [her] heart.

 

I am sorry that I felt that I had to speak to you so strongly. I see a dear sister in Christ lost in her sin and needs to be rebuked and woken up. You are not a bad person, but the devil has tricked you, and you need to get out of that online relationship. I have warned you, and now it is up to you what you will do. Being torn up and confused is the Holy Spirit trying to guide you. At the same time, the devil is doing what he does best and is lying to you, stealing your joy, and attempting to kill your marriage.

 


James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

 

If what I have shared with you has been of any help, please email me back if you need to talk more about this or have any questions. I pray for your marriage and your part to keep it alive. God knows what you need. I am just trying to point you in the right direction since you have strayed away.

 

May God give you wisdom and strength to do what is right!

 

 

Bill Greguska
Pre-recorded messages of encouragement call 414-299-8550

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

When trouble comes, focus on God’s ability to care for you. ~ Charles Stanley

 

 


 

 

Subject: Bringing problems into a relationship
Message Body:

 

Hello,
I am a Christian (19, Male), and I am considering dating another Christian girl. I want God to be the center of our relationship and our focus to be a ministry. However, I have a lot of ongoing sins that I haven’t dealt with. I feel underprepared emotionally and spiritually to invest myself in a partner most of the time. Whether or not I should pursue a relationship with unresolved sin in my life or wait until I am right with God. Thank you for your time.

 

Hi Ruben,

That is great that you want to date a Christian girl and do things right! But remember first things first.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Since you mention that you feel underprepared emotionally and spiritually to invest yourself in a partner, I think you have answered your question. But in the meantime, starting up a friendship with a girl just as friends until you are more ready might be something to consider. First, before you go any further, you need to confess all your sins to God.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Did you already ask God for what you ought to do? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/ It is okay to ask someone like me, but the real place to go is to the source, which is God himself!

https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

When the time comes, and you are ready for a dating relationship, Ruben, check out this page. https://needencouragement.com/dating-advice/

If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please feel free to email me back if you have more you wish to say or have any other questions.

May God bless you and direct your path,

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

 


 

Subject: I’m a sinner
Message Body:
Hi, I am 17 years old. Believe me all my life. I can say I was a spiritual, good boy. I had success. It was all from God. But I’m a sinful kid a lot of the time in pornography and masturbation. I see a decrease in my conduct, less spiritual, less wise, and the good qualities I had remained but decreased slightly. I do not know what to do. I have not strayed from the faith. I always go to church with the family and love to praise God, but what will happen to me? How to return? At first, I only did it once in a while.
For the past year and a half, I have moved to once a week, regretting it and repeating it later. It has become several times a week and repeating over the weekend; now, because of the corona, we have closed the church for a while, and it is easier to sin now when there is no church. I need advice hon ow to get back to God. My heart is like a stone. I’m like a dog repeating its vomit. My main problems are the sin I mentioned and anger. How can I make my way back?
How can I spend time with God and not have to force myself?
I have another question, is it okay to watch series or movies sometimes or play video games?

 

Hi Joshua,
I am sure you know that God loves you and even died for you. Do you love God too? (I know you said you are not doing well in your faith), but that does not mean it has to stay that way! Romans 8:2 because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
I am glad that you have reached out for some help. You are right. We are all sinners, Romans 3:23, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Yet, by God’s grace, he gave us Jesus to die for all our sins, past, present, and future, for those who put their trust in Jesus. Do you trust that He can help you?
It is good that you reached out for help because, on your own, the odds are against you. My first question is, have you prayed about your situation yet? The temptation can be strong, yet anything worthwhile is worth putting the energy into doing what is right. Hebrews 10:26-27 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
You mentioned that you went to church with your family, but have you been born again at some point in your life yet? Romans 10:9If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
What have you tried to do to make things better as of now? 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
 
As far as your anger, that is another thing to address. But both your anger and your sexual sin can both be resolved when you honestly take them both to God in sincere prayer!  Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Joshua, I would disagree with your comment, “my heart is like a stone,” because you would never have considered contacting me if it were true. You need to figure out what is causing you to act out and sin? Billy Graham talks about the fact that sin is pleasurable for a short season but then comes to the consequences of separation from God that you are experiencing now. I do not have a magic wand to make things all right for you, but I can tell you that prayer works, reading your Bible (at home), getting someone to help keep you accountable, and just committing yourself to God and asking Him to deliver you from your lust and sin.
Here is a page that addresses pornography that can help you. https://needencouragement.com/pornography/

If what I have shared with you has been of help to you, please email me back if you have any questions or have more you would want to say? God can break your chains of porn and anger!
I pray that you take your concern to God in prayer each day and that you open your Bible for at least 5-10 each morning after you pray.
God bless you, and may He give you strength and self-control, which is one of the Fruit of the Spirit.
Bill Greguska
Pornography or purity?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 
Subject: Self/mental sin
Message Body:
Good night. I am a 25-year-old female. I have a problem that I have been trying to correct on my own for some years now. However, I am constantly experiencing relapses on my journey of change.  Since I was around 14 years old, I have always had an issue of consistent arousal.  I knew, however, I was going through puberty, and it would get getting overtime. By the time I reached 18, it had got worse to the point where I’d be in class trying to focus with no success, something I experienced a spontaneous orgasm in class, sometimes in the taxi home. I am now 25 years old, and it has not gotten any better for me; I am so tired of living like this.  Please help. Thank you.
Thank you for your counseling 
Hi Monique,
I am glad that you reached out for help. Have you been praying about this situation of yours? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/ That would be my first suggestion.
After that, you might want to confide in your doctor. Maybe they could suggest something to help you.
Another thing you might want to look into will be to analyze if something triggers you when you get aroused.
Do you have a pastor or church you attend? That would be an excellent place to find support. https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
The last thing I can think of would be to find yourself an accountability partner to help you. https://needencouragement.com/accountability-partner/
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Monique, if what I have shared has been of help to you, I pray that you apply these things to your life and ask God to do good work for you. Do not give up. God can do more than you can imagine.

James 1:5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Keep praying, or if you have not been praying, start praying right now!
God Bless you,
Bill Greguska

Subject: Can Sin be forgiven by honestly confessing to God and starting a new life?
Message Body:
Hi there, I am here just wanna ask for advice based on God’s words. My English is not good, but I hope you understand.
I have three good friends, including my best friend. But for about two years, I have lied to them about something. And until now, they believe it. I never tell the truth.
It is about my high school final exam result. I lied to them. I told them I got straight A’s.
After that, they are now studying at college. All of them are in different colleges.
They ask me where I pursue my study.
I lied to them. I said, “I study at matriculation college.” it is a science college.
I even lied to them about my college result.
I lied to them so many times that I could not count.
So it’s been two years since I lied to them. I am afraid. Because I know my friend would be mad and upset. I know them well; whoever them to them, they consider the person is a toxic in their life forever just like what they did to someone dear to them.
And then today, I cannot bear this sin anymore. I pray to God to forgive my sin that I like lying to them.
Because of what I did to them this whole time, I don’t feel like I have a connection with myself anymore. Sometimes they chatted with me, but I did not respond. I just wanted to stay away from them. I want to get lost contact with them.
I want advice. What should I do?  is it enough to just confess to God about my sin? I genuinely wish to be forgiven. Or is it a wise choice to reveal to them? But I am so ashamed and afraid to tell them. I don’t want to be their friend anymore. What do God’s Words say?
Please pray for me.
Can I just pray to God and confess only to Him, not my friend?
I don’t want to take the worst step.
Help me.. thank you. God Bless

 

 

 

Hi Janer,
You have lied to some people recently, and now you are wondering what to do about it. Have you prayed to God about this? Do you know you can have forgiveness of the sin of your lies? Read this scripture, and it will tell you what happens when you get right with God.
1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
But keep in mind that it is not only confessing the sin of your lies. You also have to repent (turn away from) your sins. It is up to your friends if they want to forgive you, but the scripture tells you that if you confess to God, He will forgive you. People are different than God in that way. Also, keep in mind that God can forgive you, but sometimes the consequences of our sins remain. (in other words, your friends might not trust you for a while, or possibly forever?)
You may also want to reflect on why you feel you need to lie? Knowing that could be very valuable to you, so you can stop doing that in the future now.
Janer, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, and if you have more you would like to share, then feel free to email me back. Otherwise, I will pray that the Holy Spirit can convict you and help turn you away from your sin. God loves you and wants to forgive you, but you need to ask for forgiveness and repent from continuing to lie.
May God bless you, and make His face shine down upon you, and give you grace and peace.
Bill Greguska
King David’s Prayer After He Sinned

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely, I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.

 

 


 

 

Subject: Hardships

 

Message Body:
Want to discuss this privately

 

 

Hi Hailee,
Our coaching ministry is only via email. If you want to email us, that would be okay, but if you would rather speak to someone, you can call 800-633-3446. It is sometimes hard to get ahold of them, though.
Meanwhile, before you decide what you will do, I strongly suggest you pray about your situation. God is never too busy to hear your prayers. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I pray that you will seek counsel and that God opens the right door(s) for you. Remember that God loves you and is available to you.
Bill Greguska

 

Subject: trust issue
Message Body:
I am in a situation where I am willing to marry to handle my mental health, but the fear makes me not marry an unknown person.

 

Hi Mahi,
I am glad you reached out to share what is on your mind. Although I read what you wrote a couple of times and even read it slowly, I am still unsure what you are trying to say ultimately, but I will do my best to help you.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I will try to comment on your statement. God’s word says that it is not good to be alone, yet if you fear getting married, I suggest praying about it and asking God what He wants you to do personally. Some people are better off staying single, but at the same time, it is a blessing to be married to the right person.
Whatever you do, do not do it under your own will and your feelings. Make sure you pray about what God tells you is best for your life.
If what I have shared has been helpful and you wish to clarify what you said better, please email me back. I will be praying for you to seek God and His will over your own will. You will be much happier if you do this.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
May God bless you, and may He clearly show you what to do.
Bill Greguska

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Forming a circle of Christian friends virtually, then meeting them near my house in person for coffee.”

Message Body:
Thank you for such a wonderful ministry.  The world needs websites such as yours!  God bless you all, and keep serving Him.
I have made some choices in my life and believe they will all have good consequences.  Most mature people know about choices and their consequences, good or bad.  One option I have made is to get married one day (for which I’m taking steps to be prepared, and I need to be spiritually, emotionally, and financially ready, and I’m working on all of these), so I want to find guys and girls who live in my area, meeting them online first.  Kind of like a dating website, but I want to contact them through live text chat or phone calls in the beginning before meeting them in person.
Then, I want my future wife to start “sticking out like a sore thumb” from the rest of the crowd.  Not because I’m adopting “worldly ways” to impress her and attract her to me, but for her to see that my walk matches my talk and think to herself, “Wow!  This guy does seek first the Kingdom Of God, and he puts me and others first.  He asks me questions about my life and shows an interest in me and what I’m going through.  I want to get involved with him, make him my boyfriend, and marry him one day!”  Of course, there’s also the issue of making sure we’re both compatible with each other as far as culture, morals, and shared interests are concerned, but I’m sure God will take care of that.  I live in the Palm Springs area in California, USA.
Would you guys pray with me about this and spread the word about where I live?  Advertise this prayer request and e-mail I’ve sent you anywhere you like.
God Bless, and I hope to hear from you guys soon!
Roy.
Hi Roy,
I hear you saying that you made some choices. I hope you prayed about them and sought counsel from those who know you the best.
It is just a reminder that marriage is a lot of work, yet it has many positive parts. Make sure that you keep romance out of the mix when you start to date. I say that because romance fogs your mind up and makes it hard to make responsible decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life.
I pray that the Lord leads you and guides you every step of the way. I also pray that you seek wise counsel throughout your plans!
Proverbs 3:5-6Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
God bless you, and may He word mightily in your life!
Bill Greguska

 

 

 

Subject: Getting back on track
Message Body:
Hi, I am Abbie McDaniel. I am 21 years old, and I have just moved back home from an emotional, abusive relationship. There was a time I went my own way and put God out of my life, and it is still an issue. If I could have someone help me get back on the right path, I would feel myself again. To be honest, I never thought I would see the day when I would need Christian counseling.

 

Hi Abbie,
I am very sorry to hear about your abusive relationship. It is wise and fortunate that your parents could let you move back in. I can only assume that you lived with a guy, and he was not the gentleman you were hoping for.
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
My advice is to take an inventory of your life and decide what is going well and what is going wrong. Then sit down and pray and think of what you can do differently in the future. If you were living with a guy, I would strongly suggest not trying that again. But that is water over the dam. God is a God of second and third chances. I would advise you to confess your sins and ask God to forgive you.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Practically, it would be beneficial to consider the following suggestions to follow.
  1. Ask God in prayer to help you get back on the right path.
  2. Thank God for all your blessings.
  3. Make sure you eat healthy and drink plenty of water.
  4. Be sure to get regular exercise.
  5. Try to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
  6. Forgive your ex-roommate and anyone else you have bad feelings towards.
  7. Do not allow negative thoughts from the devil to get into your head.
  8. Make sure you keep social with your friends (with social distancing, of course).
  9. Be sure you laugh because laughter is good for us all.
  10. Try to avoid alcohol and drugs. They will only make things worse.
  11. Be good to yourself; learn to be best friends.
  12. Try to reach out to help someone else. Helping others can be a great way to help others and yourself too.
If what I have shared has been helpful, please feel free to email me back if you have more to say or have any questions.
Here is a link that you might like to help you avoid toxic relationships in the future. https://needencouragement.com/toxic-relationships/
I will be praying that your time living back home can be productive and that you can grow closer to your parents and, ultimately, God!
May you find the comfort of God during the next few weeks and months as you start to get back on track!
Bill Greguska

 

Subject: Opportunities
Message Body:
I am a former substitute teacher and have been jobless since March 15th. I miss working with the children. I’m wondering if there are any opportunities for me with your organization. I am a strong Christian who enjoys mentoring women, children, and families. Thanks in advance for getting back to me.

 

 

Hi Vivian,
I am sorry to hear that you are not working at this time. I pray that God opens the right doors for you and closes the other doors, so you do not waste time on those fruitless pursuits. He has your life in His hands, just trust Him, and He will make Himself known to you in ways you may not have thought.
  1. As far as helping NeedEncouragement.com, it would not be a paid position, but we could use your prayers for those who email us for emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs. Please pray that God works through our ministry, and as a result, people will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
  2. You could get on our mailing, be encouraged by the emails I send out weekly, and forward them to others on your mailing list.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Besides these ways of helping, God has been good to our ministry and reaching those in need.
Let me know if what I have shared is something you are interested in helping us with?
May God bless you and open the right doors in your life that need to be opened.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Bill Greguska

 

 

Subject: Complicated Relationship
Message Body:
I have been in a relationship with my significant other for a year and a half. He recently got a promotion, and the relationship has become an afterthought. There are little to no plans for us to see each other, and if plans are made, something comes up, and they are canceled without apology. No plans are made for the following day or week.
I want to understand that things at work have become more hectic, but his actions and attitudes have made understanding difficult.
In addition, anytime I bring up a concern, he no longer says he loves me or calls me baby. He calls me by my last name instead.
Currently He texted in 4 days; I don’t want to text him this time. That way, I can tell whether or not he is as invested as he should be. It hurts, and he shows little concern for how I feel. Very little concern. I have been praying about it. But God knows best. I am asking for advice because I am open wide if he comes, but I don’t think he appreciates me being here for him. He has reached a state of complacency and disrespect. And he is speedy to talk about how he enjoys being alone and his solitude.
I have important things to do as well, but I think he needs to learn how to be proactive and, in addition to this, regardless of work time, make time for the person you claim that you intend to marry. It requires work.
This is just a summary of my frustration. Chris

 

Hi Chris,
I am glad you reached out. You might think it is a strange suggestion, BUT did you ever think of talking to him face to face and getting your questions answered?
As a significant other “girlfriend who is interested in more,” you might want to find out the facts before you make a judgment against your boyfriend. If he just got a promotion, I am sure he is swamped. That is probably why you heard him say that he enjoys being alone. Also, if you remind him gently, he might say words of endearment to you again. Complacency can settle in a relationship without too much effort, but a gentle reminder to him can hopefully fix that. Since this is your problem (his too), you need to speak up probably via phone call to set up a time to talk.
Matthew 7:8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
You might respectfully ask him one or more of these questions. (you decide if the questions are appropriate for you and your boyfriend). By the way, are you guys living together?
  1. Have I hurt your feeling recently, and you never mentioned it to me?
  2. Why haven’t you texted me for four days?
  3. Can’t you tell that we have drifted apart somewhat?
  4. How do you feel our relationship is going?
  5. How much do you love me?
If what I have shared has been helpful, please email me if you have more to add or have any questions?
I pray that you take all your cares and concerns to God in prayer and yo, you use wisdom rather than just feelings to resolve your problems.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

 

 

 


Subject: I need Help
Message Body:
I really need help. I am struggling. I am walking away from the right path. I want to talk to someone about it.

 

Hi Florence,
Thanks for reaching out, I hope to help you, but you would need to let me know precisely what is involved in your struggle?
Unfortunately, we do not do phone counseling, but if you want to email me back, I will try to point you to the Lord! A phone number of a ministry that does phone counseling, 800-63-3is 446. They seem pretty busy, so you would need to call them possibly a couple of times?
It would be good to ask you if you have already taken your problem to God in prayer already? That first place to g would be right on your knees in prayer.

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I hope and pray to hear back from you. In the meantime, keep your eyes on the Lord and ask Him when you pray what else you ought to do to get help for your situation?

https://needencouragement.com/free-christian-counseling/

Matthew 7:7-8“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

 
God bless you, and may he give you the direction you need.
Bill Greguska

 

 


 

Subject: Counseling
Message Body:
Hi, my name is Aubree. I have been having a lot of anxiety lately about the coronavirus and what this means. I am scared to go to heaven as I love my life here on earth. It is terrifying for me.

 

 

 

Hi Aubree,
It sounds to me that you are probably an anxious type of person. Please read the following scripture slowly and out loud.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Listening to you talk with me in your last email, it sounds like you are struggling with your Christian faith. Yes, the Lord WILL come again. It says that we do not know when it could be in the scriptures, maybe in our lifetime, but perhaps not.  If you are “Born Again,” you should not have any fear of your eternity. Live your life to the fullest to honor and glorify God, and if there are any unconfessed sins in your life, be sure you confess them and repent from them.
1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar, and his word is not in us.
If you desire to find a church to help you with your insecurities, here is a link that can help you find a good Bible-believing church.
Hebrews 10:25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Aubree, if you are confused with anything I have shared with you, please feel free to email me back to help clarify anything you need.
Remember to try to live your life now while you are still alive so that one day you can hear the Lord say to you as it says in:
“Matthew 25:21. “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
God bless you!
Bill Greguska


Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Counseling”

Thank you so much for your response. I also fear that the Lord is coming soon, as I’ve heard people say since the pandemic. I don’t know for sure, but I’m scared when it all happens. I love God, but I’m afraid of how long it will take and begin to be face-to-face. It’s all so overwhelming that it could happen.
Hi Aubree,
I am glad you reached out to share your concern. If it comforts you at all, you are not the only one in the world that Coronaviris is affecting. It affects us (me too), but I do not let it overtake my thoughts or emotions. I wouldn’t say I like wearing a mask. I am sure you do not, either, and all the restrictions of this pandemic.
Have courathe get to keep your thoughts and emotions things you have control over. Notice carefully what is written in:
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
As far as your fear of going to heaven, I never heard it said that way before. I understand what you are saying, yet I used to think the way you think when I was younger, but now that I am 60 years old, I look forward to when the Lord takes me home to heaven. I am not in a hurry. Whenever He says my days are finished, I am ready to go. My only “wish or fear” is that I do not have to suffer from bad health, but I am not afraid of being with the Lord.
John 12:25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
Maybe if you could follow my analogy of being here on earth, like going to McDonald’s (yes, they have great hamburgers and fries and shakes), heaven will be a complete banquette like I have never experienced before. I can only assume that you are pretty young, but I assure you that Corinaviris will pass over before we know it, then there will be other problems here on earth to deal with. I say this to encourage you to keep your eyes on the Lord. There will be many problems in this world, but God equips us with more than we need to get by. He gives us our daily bread.
John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help. Please feel free to email me back if you have more to say or have any questions if it has been.
I pray that you will find your peace in our Lord Jesus Christ, even if you do not know Him. I pray that you will make it your goal to get to know and understand that God loves you and has a plan for your life.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

 

 

 


 

 

Hi Esther,
I am glad you are concerned about sexual purity and virginity. I have researched the topic for you at a wonderful website that is very biblically sound. The name of the site is GotQuestions.org.
My understanding of virginity has always been simply never having sexual intercourse. I found three links that you will find interesting and an answer to your question.
The first one is how virginity is tested.
The second one is what it looks like to keep your sexual urges under control while dating.
The last one I included was if you think you lost your virginity.
Here is one more link. This one is from my website, which I think will help you! https://needencouragement.com/love-or-lust/
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If you have any further questions, I encourage you to check out GotQuestions.org or feel free to email me back. I pray that you take this topic and everything in your life to the Lord in prayer and search the scriptures yourself to find the answers. I use Biblegateway.com and GotQuestions.org when I need to find answers about God and the Bible quite a bit. I encourage you to do the same.
It is wonderful that you have the heart to want to please God. You will go far in life with that attitude!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Sexual intimacy

Hello, my name is Esther. I’m from London and I’m currently 19 years old.
I’m at an age where I’m starting to try out relationships (currently dating a boyfriend hasn’t been a year yet).
Like you both had, I plan on saving my virginity for whoever my future husband may be and am not willing to have sex with boyfriends who may come and go, so there’s a part of myself that I’m honoring God with and keeping off-limits for good. However, there have been times when I’ve done other things like exposing my body with my boyfriend whilst making out but we are still technically both virgins? Nowadays there are many ways people say you are no longer a virgin. But I’m not sure what the biblical understanding of virginity is. Could you please help me understand what that is and if that’s something which I’m not?

 


 

Hi Mark,


Jesus spoke of a special type of blasphemy—blasphemy against the Holy Spirit—committed by the religious leaders of His day. The situation was that the Pharisees were eyewitnesses to Jesus’ miracles, but they attributed the work of the Holy Spirit to the presence of a demon (Mark 3:22-30). Their portrayal of the holy as demonic was a deliberate, insulting rejection of God and was unforgivable.


Fortunately, Jesus forgives even the sin of blasphemy. Paul was a blasphemer (1 Timothy 1:13) and tried to make others blaspheme (Acts 26:11). Jesus’ own brothers thought He was insane (Mark 3:21). All repented, and all were forgiven.

Blasphemy, by definition, is both deliberate and direct. That being the case, a believer in Jesus Christ will not/cannot commit blasphemy. Even so, we should be careful to reflect God’s holiness and never misrepresent the glory, authority, and character of God.

 

Mark, here is a link that explains what blasphemy is in more detail. https://www.gotquestions.org/blasphemy-blaspheme.html

 

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

 

Bill Greguska

 


 

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Shame
Message Body:
One time I got angry at God and said: “I do not believe in His love anymore I believe He hates me!” – “Why bother praying for me. When the prayer is about me, He turns a blind eye!”. – “I do not want to push myself to Him if He does not want me.” All these I think stemmed from doubting my salvation.
Did I commit blasphemy? Is the Holy Spirit still with me? Does God still love and care for me?

 


 

Hi Jeffrey,

 

I’m very sorry to hear that your dentist made a mess with your teeth, I don’t understand when you say you don’t know how much longer you’re going to live if it’s that bad you need to go to an emergency room and get some help there.

I’m sorry I don’t understand what you’re saying it doesn’t make a lot of sense but I will pray that God will watch over you during this time. Have you considered praying about your situation? 

Common Sense tells me to be very careful when you eat and make sure you don’t bite on the areas that are tender. You may also consider taking Tylenol for pain, take according to what it says on the bottle.

I’m very sorry that you’re going through this pain, I still think that the dentist is responsible for what he did to you, don’t you agree?

1 Peter 5:7 cast all her anxiety on him because he cares for you!

Proverbs 3:5-6 trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but all your ways acknowledge Him and you shall make your path straight.




 

Subject: I need a miracle healing
Message Body:
I had dental work done and I was injured by a dentist. I now have the front of my hard palate that the dentist sheered off and sutured in under my gum. The fracture made ribbons of bone that are all over inside my head I am not sure how much longer I am going to live. I have sought help but due to insurance limitations, I am unable to get the help I need or even convince a doctor that I have this problem. I have nowhere to turn and I am scared…

 

 

 


 

 

Hi John,

 

You have a very important question you ask. I would answer it by saying that since you want to increase your faith, you obviously have faith in the first place. Right?

Here are some excellent suggestions to help you increase your faith and grow closer to God.

 

  1. Build upon what you already believe to be is true
  2. Read your Bible and use a concordance to find specifically what you want to learn more about.
  3. Start by reading your Bible for about 5 minutes each morning, and pray for a couple of minutes. (in time, you will naturally want to spend more time, but start slowly and consistently)
  4. Pray to God to increase your faith and keep your eyes open to the many wonders that God provides in His created nature. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
  5. Get involved with your church and share fellowship with others. If you do not have a church check out… https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

John, if what I have shared has been of help, please feel free to email me back if you need any clarification or have any other questions.

I pray that God opens your eyes as He did for me, and your faith will increase as you requested. Be patient and also faithful in your pursuit of knowing God better. https://needencouragement.com/follow-jesus-christ/

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: counseling
Message Body:
how to increase faith in Jesus

 

 


 

 

Hi Elaine,
I did not know what “agoraphobic” meant, so I googled it and found that there are things you can do to make your situation better. I found this on https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/agoraphobia/symptoms-causes/syc-20355987

 

There’s no sure way to prevent agoraphobia. However, anxiety tends to increase the more you avoid situations that you fear. If you start to have mild fears about going places that are safe, try to practice going to those places over and over again before your fear becomes overwhelming. If this is too hard to do on your own, ask a family member or friend to go with you, or seek professional help.
If you experience anxiety going places or have panic attacks, get treatment as soon as possible. Get help early to keep symptoms from getting worse. Anxiety, like many other mental health conditions, can be harder to treat if you wait.
I would suggest a couple of simple healthy things to start to practice doing in your life. Keep in mind these are general suggestions that may or may not apply to your situation.
  1. Pray and read your Bible each day, even if it is only 5 minutes. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
  2. Get regular exercise https://needencouragement.com/need-exercise/
  3. Eat healthy foods https://needencouragement.com/healthy-food/
  4. Drink plenty of water
  5. Avoid alcohol and drugs https://needencouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs/
  6. Keep social
  7. Reach out to acquaintances and form friendships
  8. Look for a church to attend, fellowship, and God’s word will do you wonders! https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
I hope what I have shared is of some help to you. If you have any questions about anything, I said, please feel free to email me back with any questions or comments you may have. I pray that the Lord comforts you as you go to Him in prayer.
God bless you, my friend. Things will get better!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Romans 8:28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–

Subject: deliverance from crippling fears

Message Body:
Please could you pray for a lot of healing for me?  I have become agoraphobic during the last 18 months.  I fear covid and the vaccines. I have anxiety and depression which is severely affectioning my life.  I am a Christian and I have no friendships. I have no church home.  basically, my life is a mess.  thank you, from Elaine

 

 


 

 

Hi Alaina,
It sounds like you have a lot of things going on in your life right now. Have you been praying about these things? Sometimes people use prayer as a last resort. I hope that is not the case with you.
I have discovered an excellent way of praying. This past summer, I was going down to the park, and one day, I sat on a bench looking at the pond. For some reason, I felt a need to ask God, “What do you want me to do, Lord?” I sat back and just listened to what God was trying to tell me.
Here is a link to help you find a good Bible-believing church near you. https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
We do email counseling, so if you have a question or two, please feel free to ask us, and we will get back to you asap.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Guidance through a tough breakup, identity issues
Message Body:
I would like to try Christian counseling and learn more about God’s word in the process. I don’t trust many people, I have a lot of garbage/baggage, I work two jobs, in college online, and raising 2 of the kids left at home. I was looking at texting type of concealing so I could go back and reread sessions, to sink it more into my brain. I have an auto injury in 14 that damaged part of my brain. I barely make enough to cover the bills. I really need help with getting over abandonment, rejection, headache, resentment. That is what I can think of at the top of my head. I hope someone could help me, I can’t afford 50.00 a week, I’m gonna be laid off soon from my full-time job so, there isn’t much money. I would go to a local church but, I know it won’t just be with that person and I, my information gets passed around and I don’t trust anyone in my town.

 

 


 

Hi Heather,
There is no sin or sins too big that God can not forgive you for.
The insight that I believe that you are overlooking comes from  1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If you say that you have the heart to please the Lord and want to get back into good grace with Him, then confess your sins to God, turn from your sins, and begin to walk with the Lord again.
I will pray that you humbly take your concerns to God and read your Bible each morning, and pray and get involved in your church or find a church.
Heather, feel free to email me back if you have any questions or concerns.
God Bless you!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Wondering if my sins have pushed God too far away.
Message Body:

Would really like someone to pray for me and talk to me about…well a lot of questions about my life and God. I’m a believer but I feel like my repeated soon has left me far from the Lord. I pray daily and have recently moved so I am trying to find a church. I’m afraid and feel like I’ve disappointed God one too many times. I feel like there is a huge war going on inside of me but I accepted Jesus a long time ago. Would really like some insight on all this.

 


 

 

Hi Evelyn,
It is wonderful that you have a desire to become the woman that God has called you to be. It sounds like you are on the right track trying to do the will of God. I Praise God for that!
As far as your anxiety and fear go, have you been praying about this every day? If not, that is what I recommend that you start to do. If you are praying for that, then I would suggest that you keep on praying. If by any chance you have any unconfessed sin in your life, that would need to be addressed.
1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Do you think that you are putting too much of the responsibility to overcome your anxiety and fear on your own shoulders, rather than putting it on to the Lord?
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
 
Here are a couple of links to my website that I believe will be of help to you.
 
 
 
I pray that you can take your request to God and also find yourself in a bible believing church to fellowship with others. If what I have shared has been of help to you, feel free to email me back if you have any other questions or concerns.
 
God Bless you,
 
 
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Becoming the Woman that God has called me to be
Message Body:
Good afternoon. I am a young woman who wants to better herself in order to become the best version of herself. I struggle with anxiety, some fears that I want to be able to deal with and overcome, overthinking which makes me sometimes doubt myself and other people as well, and patience.

 

 


 

 

Hi Kelly,
It sounds like your marriage is struggling. Have you tried to pray about your marriage?
I could give you some advice, but the best thing for a marriage situation is to visit with your pastor or hire a counselor.
You say that he physically hurts you, which is unacceptable. Even mentally hurting you is not acceptable either.
Ask him why it is so important for your husband to stay out all night and day and ask him if you can come with him? (it appears that he might have a drinking problem and possibly spending time with the wrong people).
This may not be cleared up right away, but you need to set down some boundaries for him to respect. Try to talk with him respectfully, for I am sure this has been happening for a while.
As I said, asking your pastor for help or paying for a counter is very important at this point. It would be best to have some refereeing between the two of you and make your marriage alive again.
What are some things you love about your husband? (focus on those things and tell him what they are)
I pray that you take this to the Lord in prayer!
1 Peter 5:7-8Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
I hope what I shared has been of help to you. If you have any questions about what I shared, feel free to email me back.
May God bless you both!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Marriage counseling
Message Body:
My marriage is falling apart. He says he loves me but I am lonely. He mentally and physically hurts me. I love him and want to save our marriage and he says he does too but don’t show it. I long for companionship socialization affection. He is always going out and staying out all night and day. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

 

 


 

 

Hi Candace,
You can not do anything that has already been done to you, but you can lean on the Lord for his peace and His strength. What you mentioned about stopping the generational curse from continuing is very wise, that you do not want it to affect your children!
Are you involved in your church? What about your pastor? Have you talked to him about what you mentioned to me?
Are you and your husband on the same page concerning not passing on what you have gone through to your children?
It would be very wise to get some Christian friends to help support you, too, on top of seeing a Christian counselor.
1 Peter 5:7-8 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
I hope what I shared with you has helped you, if you have any questions about what I shared, please feel free to email me back.
Here is one of many good scriptures that will help you.

The Armor of God

Ephesians 6:10-18 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

God bless you. It seems to me you are handling this very well.
Bill Greguska Pray

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Healing from childhood trauma
Message Body:
I’m 31, and recently I’ve begun uncovering emotional and mental trauma from my mom. It’s been a lifelong experience that I still struggle to navigate, but the root began at age 4.
I don’t feel it would be right to go to any therapist or counselor or to suppress it with medication. Healing needs to come from the Lord and those willing to point to Him in all things. This is the reason why I’m choosing a Christian-based counselor.
I’m fully functioning, but if I have learned nothing else from this trauma, I have to heal so I don’t make the same mistakes with my own children. I don’t want them to pay for the pain that was inflicted on me. This is a generational curse, but it ends with me.
I look forward to hearing from you and I pray that this is just as spiritually beneficial as it is emotionally. Thank you.

 

 

 


 

 

Hi Christy,
The good news and the bad news is that vaping is dangerous. The good news is that you are feeling convicted. I believe that you can quit, but you need to do a couple of things.
  1. Pray each morning when you wake up and pray throughout the day.
  2. Get rid of your vap equipment, throw it away if you have to.
  3. Avoid anyone who still is vaping.
  4. Ask friends and family for support and encouragement.
  5. Replace your vaping with drinking soda (water is healthier, but soda tastes better).
  6. Chew gum.
  7. Drink plenty of water.
  8. Get some exercise, at least walking.
  9. Keep your mind busy.
  10. Keep yourself busy.
  11. If your flesh weekends, get right back at it and try again.
  12. Reward yourself with something good to eat or buy yourself a 5-10 dollar reward after 2 days without vaping.
The medical field says that you can change any habit if you do anything for 25 days.
Here is a web page that deals specifically with quitting capping. https://www.allencarr.com/easyway-stop-vaping/how-to-quit/
It would help if you focused on quitting one day at a time but have the goal of 25 days in the back of your mind.
Here is a video that I am sure can be of help to you. https://youtu.be/fLbQfMmrISE

Since You Can Quit Anything With God’s Help For:

  • 15 minutes
  • 30 minutes
  • 1 hour
  • 3 hours
  • 8 hours and longer
Then with God’s help, there is hope for you to quit ANY addiction or a bad habit that has put you in chains.
Go for the goal of 24 hours, then two days, four days, seven days, and so forth. Do it One Day At A Time!
I am not saying it will be easy, but all things are possible with God!

Chat for some help and encouragement Or call 1-800-633-3446

Christy, I quit smoking cigarettes and pot back on June 25, 1986, which was one of the smartest things I have done in my life. I saved my health, not to mention my pocketbook! I pray that you can do the same!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Vaping
Message Body:
I recently committed my life to Jesus and I’m having an issue with vaping. I know it’s wrong, I quit smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day. I am being told in my spirit to quit and I feel so convicted.  Please give me something to work with I’m confused

 

 


 

 

Hi Natasha,
Have you been praying about this situation with your son? There are a few ways to address this problem. When your son is disobedient and disrespectful, have you ever asked him why? There might be some root that needs to be addressed, such as alcohol, drugs, peer pressure—insecurity, depression, etc.
Since you say that you take care of him solely and he is technically an adult, I would consider holding back on favors such as driving him places, buying take-out food for him, etc. No more Mrs. nice guy, things need to change!
If he is working, he should be giving you a token amount of money for his food, shelter, etc. I was disobedient and disrespectful, and when I was 19 years old, my mom kicked me out of the house, she gave me some chances, but I kept doing my own thing. She stopped that, and I found myself homeless, which was wise-looking back at it since I would not cooperate, yet given many chances to do so. (my mom did the right thing, and eventually, things worked out, and she was the best friend I ever had, as a matter of fact, I took care of her for the last 8 years of her life when she died at 94 years old in 2014.) I admired her for not allowing me to disrespect her or be disobedient even though it meant for me to leave the house.
If your son is not working, he should be doing chores around the house to help you.
If your son is still being disobedient and disrespectful, then the conversation of him finding a place of his own should be discussed and seriously considered.
Let me ask you, Natasha, what would happen if you were disobedient and disrespectful to your boss at work? (you know the answer…).
It is hard to give you an exact answer, but I hope the ideas I have shared with you will help. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to clarify what I shared.
Natasha, ask yourself, “Who is in control of the home?” I hope the answer is both you and God, for, without Godly direction, the home will not stand firm.
My brother Tom had a saying that I think can fit with your son’s situation, “You make your bed, you sleep in it.” It almost sounds like you have had enough. Maybe you need to get a little more assertive and not fear what his response would be. I am not sure how much you have allowed up until now, but today is a new day!
May God bless you and give you the wisdom to direct your son towards the Lord! Keep praying for wisdom and follow what the Lord shows you what to do!
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Dealing with my youngest child
Message Body:
My youngest (19 yr old) child has been disobedient, disrespectful, and ungrateful for the past few weeks and I have grown tired of it. I have solely taken care of him for 19 years. I have tried changing the way I talk to him but it seems nothing is working. I pray that things improve soon.

 

 


 

 

Hi Jason,
How much have you been praying about this situation with your dad?
It sounds like whatever you have tried has not been successful. Have you ever told your dad that you love him?
If you can not afford an apartment of your own, then look for a roommate?
It seems that you realize you can not change your dad even though you would love to, so in that case, how about focusing on changing how you react to the way he treats you so negatively.
It does not sound like you are happy living there, so the only two primary choices are moving out or figuring out how to cope with your dad until you move out. You might also want to consider avoiding him entirely if he is such an emotional terrorist towards you.
Romans 12:18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
You mentioned that your dad is a catholic, and it seems that he is more comfortable with non-Christians than with someone who is a Bible-believing Christian. Maybe avoid talking with your dad about spiritual matters? Or keep the conversations very superficial, and do not react disrespectfully when he disrespects you. 

 

Luke 6:29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.
I pray that what I have shared with you has been some help to you. I pray that God opens the right doors for you to resolve this problem.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Free Christian Counseling”

Well, the thing with my wife will be taken care of after I get a job once I pass my certification.  I will get an apartment in a different part of the country and I will go through the process of bringing her back.   

But the thing with my dad has been going on since I was a kid.    He may have been nice to me when I was a young child and done things to help provide for me, but he is deathly afraid of any intimacy or emotional connection with me; perhaps even most people./  But he does seem to get along with his stepchildren and step-grandchildren.   I have dealt with people like this before.  but what I am learning through experience is for example:  When he gets mad and yells: “Why do you always do that?  or where did you ever get that idea?  Or some angry thing in the form of a question or even if it is not in the form of a question, but that sounds like he does not understand…I used to think: “Oh..I will explain it to him and then he will understand”.   But no.  That is not the case.    No explanation is ever enough. It sounds to me like he just loves to complain and blame and push me away.  It is psychotic.   
If he was like this to my mother when I was a child then I don’t blame her for divorcing him.    No one would want to put up with emotional terrorism.  I am not saying I condone divorce, but for her in her situation, I understand why she did it. To constantly be blamed and accused is horrible.   And concerning your suggestion to sit down and talk with him man to man.  I have tried that before.   Even when I was 17 years old I did it.  You know how when someone agrees to talk with you about something they disagree with but they just sit there tolerating you?  He will not do it.    But I think it must be something having to do with Christianity. 
There are very powerful spiritual forces that can cause torment.    Demons can be tormented even in the presence of the Holy Spirit.  Do you know that scripture  [Greater is he that is within you than he that is in the world]?   Well, it is the only thing I can think of as to why he can get along with many other people, but not me and not my mother.   He has been divorced from her for 47 years and still hates her or anything/anyone to do with her.   My mother doesn’t hate him, but he is tormented by any idea of her.     I know all the easy answers.  Moving out.  I am working on it.  but I know God does not like it when we have bad relationships and stuff.    I know Jesus said forgive even 70 X 7 in a day.    But I am constantly in a state of resentment with him because even after I forgive him he is already onto the next thing to push me away and or accuse me and blame me.  So there is never a coasting period of peacefulness.  He makes sure I am always uncomfortable with him.   Wow!!!!!  He is 81 years old and still behaves like a child.  And I am not referring to child-like faith.  I am referring to immaturity.     
But it must be by choice. Because if he ever treated people like this at work when he had his career, he would have been fired.  So he does know how to get along with people.;  He just chooses to not get along with me.  The way my older brother dealt with it was to renounce Christianity and just live a life of sin.    My dad is Catholic, but it seems he is more comfortable with non-Christians than with someone who is a Bible-believing Christian.  And concerning my brother, my brother just turns away from my mother and does not even talk to her.  My dad must really love that.        
Well as you can see.  I have already tried the easy answers.  And I am working on getting out of here.  It could be 4 months or so though.  I love my dad a lot.  But it angers me that he will not let me have a close meaningful relationship with him. 
Counselors these days are backed up 6 months or are simply not accepting new patients in my area which is why I have resorted to you guys.
I do pray a lot.  I do not necessarily have a prayer session.  I am more of the pray without ceasing kind of guy.  I do it whenever and wherever all the time. 

 

 NeedEncouragement.com / Bill Greguska  wrote:

 

Hi Jason,
It sounds like a difficult situation with your dad and siblings. My first suggestion is for you to pray about your situation.
You might want to plan a time for you and your dad to sit down and talk man to man.
Another suggestion would be to see if you could find a roommate and move out or move out on your own into a small apartment.
Another thought would be not to react when your dad instigates things. It might be challenging, but it is not impossible. Try to stay calm when he accuses you or stirs up things.
As far as your situation with your wife, I am not sure what to suggest there, except can you find a large company that would sponsor you?
As far as the free Christian Counseling, it is not done via the phone. It is via email. If you would like to email me, that would be fine.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

 

Hi Jason,
It sounds like a difficult situation with your dad and siblings. My first suggestion is for you to pray about your situation.
You might want to plan a time for you and your dad to sit down and talk man to man.
Another suggestion would be to see if you could find a roommate and move out or move out on your own into a small apartment.
Another thought would be not to react when your dad instigates things. It might be challenging, but it is not impossible. Try to stay calm when he accuses you or stirs up things.
As far as your situation with your wife, I am not sure what to suggest there, except can you find a large company that would sponsor you?
As far as the free Christian Counseling, it is not done via the phone. It is via email. If you would like to email me, that would be fine.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Free Christian Counseling”

Well, there are two big issues right now.

1).   My dad and siblings.    I am related to my dad.  My stepmother died in 2017. She always hated me after age 11.   I am 49 now.   My step-siblings hate me with a passion.   I live with my dad in his house just me and him, but he is so full of anger and resentment and I don’t know how to handle him.  He just loves to instigate problems and accuses me and loves to create turmoil between him and me.
2).  My wife is in Indonesia with her family.  She is from Indonesia.  We moved there in September of 2019.   I got back here at the beginning of April of this year.  I had to come back for medical reasons and I have no chance of supporting us in Indonesia.  They do not let foreigners work there unless they are sponsored by some large super-rich company.    
Lots to talk about.     We should make sure that if and when you call I am not out somewhere where we could be interrupted.   
Thank you so much.
I have been a Christian since 1982.  Maybe even earlier.  But the time when everyone knew it was 1982, but I believe I was a Christian before then, but the adults in my life at the time just did not know.  I was too young for them to know.  

 

On Mon, Dec 13, 2021 at 11:19 PM NeedEncouragement.com / Bill Greguska wrote:

 

Hi Jason,
Yes, free Christian counseling is available.
Please let me know what you would like to discuss, and I will get back to you as soon as possible, usually within 24 to 48 hours.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Free Christian Counseling”

Subject: Free Christian Counseling
Message Body:
I have been a Christian since 1982, but I could really use some Christian counseling if it is indeed available.

 


Hi Sydnee,
I am glad you wrote in to share your burden. I encourage you to take the time to pray and ask our heavenly Father for help!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
 
There may be many different reasons why you are struggling with your faith. It could be that maybe there is some unconfessed sin in your life, or maybe you need to take better care of your life in general.
 
Here are a few other suggestions you may have overlooked that you might want to consider:
 
  1. Do you read your Bible and pray? (take the time to start up again)
  2. Do you attend church?
  3. Are you eating healthy?
  4. Are you getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night?
  5. Do you get enough exercise?
  6. Do you avoid alcohol and drugs?
  7. Do you drink enough water each day?
  8. Do you find things that are funny to laugh about?
  9. Do you try to help others (sometimes helping others helps ourselves)?
I hope what I have shared with you has been helpful. If you have any questions about what I said, please feel free to email me back.
 
I pray that God will bless you and give you the wisdom and peace you need at this time!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Bill Greguska
 

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Spiritual warfare
Message Body:
I’m an 18-year-old female and I’m struggling hard. I’ve recently graduated high school and moved out, and I also have hit the lowest lows I have ever experienced. Since moving out, my relationship with the Lord has been rocky. I don’t take the time out to pray as I should and at times I struggle to have faith that God will take care of me. I know he always will, I just get caught up in worldly situations and my shame and stubbornness keep me from leaning on God as I should. My spirit is hurting, I need healing. I just need a little support and wisdom to help me through these tough times because I don’t have anyone to talk to about this.

Hi Delicia,
I am glad you wrote in to share your burden. I encourage you to take the time to pray and share what is weighing you down and share it with the Lord.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Take a few moments right now to think of a list of things that you could find joy in and also ways to feel less lonely. Loneliness can be a huge problem if not addressed properly. Here is a page from my website that will help you.
There may be many different reasons why you are struggling. It could be that maybe there is some unconfessed sin in your life, or perhaps you need to take better care of your life in general.
Here are a few other suggestions you may have overlooked that you might want to consider:
  1. Do you read your Bible?
  2. Do you pray? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
  3. Do you attend church? https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
  4. Do you feel that you have a purpose in life?
  5. Are you eating healthy?
  6. Are you getting 7-8 hours of sleep and getting enough exercise?
  7. Do you avoid alcohol and drugs and drink enough water each day?
  8. Do you find things that are funny to laugh about? https://needencouragement.com/need-laughter/
  9. Do you try to help others (sometimes helping others helps ourselves)?
If what I have shared has been of help to you, feel free to email me back if you have any questions.
God bless you, and I pray that the Lord hears your cry for help and gives you the wisdom and strength to conquer this with His help. Remember that you need to reach out to the Lord and others. It will be worth it!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “”

There are times that I really feel alone even with my family around and it just gets really hard sometimes.

Hi Tanyana,
You seem to have decided to take a leap of faith and pursue college. If you have prayed about it and the Lord is leading you, then I would encourage you to follow that lead.
If you have a specific question or request, please let me know, I would love to point you to Jesus Christ.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: CHRISTIAN LIFE COACHING
Message Body:
Hi, I am so joyful that I came across Need Encouragement. I have been seeking Christian life coaching, this is something that the Lord placed in my heart because I am at a point in my life where I must make a very important decision in regards to my education and career path and I really need guidance. I was having issues in the past where I did not have the right guidance and made really poor decisions. Now at 25 years, I have decided to take a leap of Faith and pursue my College degree. Kindly help me with this, I really need help. I have been praying about this and the Lord spoke to me and told me that I need some extra support and guidance. I’m hoping to hear from you soon!

Hi Jimmy,
You seem to want to change, and that is half the battle. I would encourage you to pray about this and also take an inventory of your life in the hope of discovering what is getting you angry and trying to address that.
Are you taking care of your health?
  1. Do you eat healthly?
  2. Do you get enough exercise?
  3. Do you get enough sleep?
  4. Do you have much laughter in your life?
  5. Do you have a quiet time with God each morning?
  6. Do you read your bible and pray?
  7. Do you have any unconfessed sin in your life?
Here are a couple of pages that can be of help to you.
God bless you!
Bill Pray

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Need help in controlling anger fear and suspicious nature
Message Body:
Please help me to be less angry at my sweetheart and more loving and stop doubting her loyalty and to forgive.

Hi Melanie,
I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I have had an estranged daughter for almost the last two years. What I have done was to keep her in an open palm to the Lord. I have reached out to her via phone messages, texts, and a couple of letters in the mail. I did all I could do. We can not make anyone love or respect us.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
My 39-year-old daughter has chosen the world and insisted that I did not talk anything about God, Jesus, the Bible, or the scriptures. Have you reached out to your children apologizing for anything you may have offended them with what you said or have done? If so, you are in the same boat I am in, so I would suggest putting your children in an open palm and trusting that the Lord is in control. Turn the page and know that you have done all you can. Pray that the Lord will soften their hearts just as I have been with my daughter.
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If you have any questions about what I said, feel free to email me back.
Do not lose heart, but guard it. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
God bless you!
Bill Pray

—–Original Message—–

Subject: relationship
Message Body:
Hello,
I reaching out to you for help with some Godly advice for me. I  39 Years old and 2 years ago I divorced my 11 year abusive husband. In doing so I now have 3 estranged sons… ages 21, 17, and 15. And I have custody of my 11 year old daughter and a new baby due in November  with my new husband. We have 18 years difference between us. He is not as much of a believer as I am and it has caused some tension. My heart breaks daily from losing connection with my sons and I wonder if they will ever talk to me again.

Hi Colin,
My first thought is to encourage you to pray about your situation. I can understand how dark things may seem, but there are solutions to all problems. It is good that you have reached out for some help. Here is a link I would like you to go to and talk with someone on the phone to share your burden with them. https://needencouragement.com/suicide-prevention/
Here are two phone numbers I would like for you to call
800-633-3446
I am praying that God will work in your life today and the upcoming days to help you sort out things. Colin, if you want to email me back, please feel free to do so, I do care, and I trust that you will be okay!
God bless you,

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Suicidal thoughts end of the rope
Message Body:
Please pray for me to be able for Jesus to save me from suicidal thoughts as i at the end of my rope with mo way put due to my financial debts coupled with 1001 many unsolvable problems arising each day….i can’t bear this much longer.

Hi Linda,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your 21 year old son.
One thing I can assure you is that it is not God who is punishing you, it is from the devil attacking your mind and making you feel as though you are all alone. I wonder why your church refuses to help you. If your church is not helping you, I would try again, and if they still will not help you, then you may consider a different church. https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
A couple of things I encourage you to consider:
  1. Pray each morning.
  2. Read your Bible each morning.
  3. Fellowship with other believers from church or other Christian friends.
  4. Confess any unconfessed sins in your life.
  5. Get regular exercise.
  6. Eat healthy foods.
  7. Drink plenty of water each day.
  8. Avoid alcohol and drugs.
  9. Find things that are humorous.
  10. Keep close to your family and friends.
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If you have any questions about what I shared, feel free to email me back.
God bless you,

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Grief and prayer
Message Body:
I lost my 21 year old son in July 2020.
I’m a Christian living in the UK and currently struggling with life. I have resigned from my job due to ill health and finding it difficult to provide the emotional needs old my 14 year old son.
I feel broken – Our church and family have not supported us. We are feeling alone and abandoned.
Feel like God is punishing me sometimes and that the death of my son from a drugs overdose is all my fault because of the lack of social support.
I’m broken and low….

Hi Ricky,
I can feel your pain and anger from your wife cheating on you. You guys definitely need some help, but it would be best to talk to your pastor or a counselor in person than to try to hash things out over email.
But I can tell you that even though she cheated on you since you caught her in the act of cheating, that does not mean you have to divorce her, you can forgive her and work things out with her if she is willing to do so?
You would be very wise to take this to God in prayer. I pray that you do so and that the Lord can heal things between the two of you. I hope what I have shared has been of help to you, if you have any questions about what I shared, feel free to email me back.
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Bill Greguska


NeedEncouragement.com

Call or text 800-633-3446 or Chat Here

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Need help
Message Body:
My my wife cheated and lied to me.

Hi Shakiia,

I am glad you reached out for some direction. You mentioned that you have had so many traumas, have you gotten any counseling for those traumas at all. Keep in mind that first of all it is not all your problem (he may be a little too sensitive) and it is not all your husband (maybe you have been disrespectful to him?). Have you or your husband prayed about this before? Do you or your husband have a relationship with God?

Ephesians 5:22-25 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Since you mentioned that your husband says that you are often disrespectful and dishonoring to him for what he does for your family. I suggest that you ask him specifically how you are dishonoring him, in a very respectful way. Maybe he has a good point, or maybe not? When you ask him, you might want to write your question on paper and allow him to itemize where he is feeling disrespected. The reason that might be better than to ask him face to face because it might provoke an argument between the two of you.
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
I believe you will get more information out of your husband if you do it on paper. That way the emotions and conflict should not be a factor. But again, do it with sincerity and respect letting him know that you would like to know how to better your marriage and not have him feel disrespected. (which I am sure you do not do on purpose, but that is how he apparently it taking it. Getting clarification should help you guys a lot!) You know your husband, maybe even printing out this email can show him that you love him and want thing better and you are even looking for advice on how to be a better wife.
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, feel free to email me back, but also keep in mind transparency with your husband and to focus on trying to respect him more are a couple things that surly will help you!
God bless you!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Purpose and Playing My Role in My Family
Message Body:
Hello, I need some direction in walking in my role as a wife. My husband says that I am often disrespectful and dishonor the things he does for our family. I need some encouragement on how to walk in the role of a wife and use communication to express what I need from others. I have had so many traumas that I cannot speak without feeling unheard or uncared for.

Hi Sharen,
It is hard to give you specific things to do with what you have shared with me. But I can tell you this, that you guys need to start praying together!
A thought came to my mind, does your husband has a problem with alcohol or drugs?
Or possibly is he stressed out and does not know how to deal with his feelings?
It would make a lot of sense if you try to help him in any way that you can and that he allows you to do so.
Speak to him respectfully and I am sure some of his outbursts will start to go away.
Does your husband have any close friends that he can spend quality time with.
Maybe he is just frustrated and it taking out his anger on you.
Maybe make a nice meal tonight and try talking to him by offering him your support to make his burdens lighter.
The big thing I would say is for you and for you and your husband to begin praying again together and fellowship with other believers from your church.
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help; if you have any questions about what I shared, feel free to email me back. I pray that you take your concerns to God in prayer.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
God bless you both!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Marriage, anxiety, faith
Message Body:
My husband seems to suffer from generalized anxiety. His outbursts and short temper is adversely affecting relationships. My anxiety stems from this and health issues. I only have so much energy and often life demands more than I can offer. I am prone to adrenal fatigue.
We needs goals, guidance and accountability. And maybe we need other things we aren’t aware of. Of course we need Jesus. My husband’s faith and subsequently mine have certainly faltered.
I hope this is both thorough and concise  enough to give you all you what is needed to start guiding us.
Thank you