Response Letters 2

Responses to emails that we get!

Below you will find questions and responses to those questions. We take time to answer each email that we get with the greatest care possible, answering Christian responses the best we can. Here are some encouraging scriptures having to do with finding hope.  ~Bill Greguska

 

 

Explanation Of The Letters:

  1. First, scroll down under each section to read the person’s question or concern.

  2. After that, scroll back up to hear our response.

  3. Please pray for these people as the Lord leads you.

  4. If you wish to ask a question of your own, please contact us.

 


View Our Christian Life Coach Response Letters:

 

Hi Agnes, Thanks for contacting us for your free Bible.

The thing is, I can not do it for you. All you need to do is to go to https://needencouragement.com/free-bible/ and follow the prompts.

I hope you are doing well, stay safe, and God bless you!

Bill Greguska

Subject: Free Bible
Message Body:
Please send me a free Bible book or CD.
Agnes

 


Hi Munachimos,
I am so glad you contacted us, we hope to be of help to you. It is great to hear that you want to be closer to God. You know that God hates all sins, which include lust, pornography, and sexual immorality. Each of us are sinners in our own way, yet some people have different sin choices that hold them in chains to Satan. Have you prayed about this yet? That is where I would start if I were you.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
When you pray, ask God to give you an accountability partner to keep you honest with staying away from porn and masturbation (someone you trust that they will not spread your confessions to anyone else, someone who knows the Lord and has a stable relationship with God.
Have you noticed any triggers that make you want to lust? (perhaps something you watch on TV, a place that you frequent, or a particular time of day? If so, be more aware of that and avoid those situations. We are encouraged to fight other sins, yet sexual sins need to be fleed from and avoided. Our flesh is powerless over the temptations that Satan throws out.
If you have pornography in your house, you need to get it out. If you are serious, that is not an option for you. I can give you an analogy about a moth circling a campfire. The moth enjoyed it and felt comfortable until the moth got too close to the fire and was consumed. (don’t be the moth getting close to the temptation).
Here are a couple of links that will be helpful to you that I suggest you check out.
Here is a simple summary list that can help you get on track.
  1. Pray to Jesus, not only in the morning but all day off and on. Check-in with God often.
  2. Get yourself an accountability partner and be honest with him.
  3. Get any type of pornography or sensual material out of your house and away from you.
  4. If you fail, don’t give up, be prepared for a battle.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please email me back if you have any further questions.
I pray that the chains of pornography will be broken to free you starting today, 5-3-20. Keep in mind that you have probably have been doing this for a while, but it says in God’s Word in Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
God bless you,

Bill Greguska



Subject: Help from lust
Message Body:
I need help to desist from watching porn videos and masturbation. I want to grow closer to God.
Precious

Hi Monique,
I am so glad that you reached out to talk about what is on your mind here. There is a scripture that says in John 8:7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” I mention this because I, too, did what you were doing 36 years ago.
I got my daughter’s mother pregnant, and I wish I could have married her and done things according to God’s will, rather than our will. There was much heartache that I hope you do not have to experience. God gives us free will, but he does not give us the freedom to choose our sins’ consequences. My daughter and I have an excellent relationship now, yet her mother broke up with me when my daughter was born. I did not get to be with her until she was 12 years old.
It sounds like you want to get married, yet your boyfriend is making excuses. It reminds me of the old expression, “Why purchase the cow when you can get the milk for free.” I say this with the utmost respect. I wanted you to think about what I am saying to you since you came to me for advice.
Yes, getting married would take away the “Guilt feelings that you are feeling right now.” BUT no way would I suggest that you get married just to have a license to have sex.
  1. How does your boyfriend show that he loves and respects you?
  2. Does he go out of his way to show his love for you, and does it regularly?
  3. Does he provide for you? 
  4. Does he treat you like a lady all the time? (Does he ever swear at you, threaten you, or hit you)
  5. Is the relationship based mostly on sexual attraction?
  6. Do you guys argue a lot? (How compatible are the two of you?)
  7. Do you fight fair? (Do you work problems out pretty well together?)
Monique, there are many more questions that I could ask you, but these seven questions are a good start for you. If he is a good man, you need to start to talk about marriage but do not push him, he needs to take the initiative about this, or it will not go anywhere. If you want to get married someday, you would be best off dealing with your boyfriend first, and if it does not work, then move on to find the real man for you. I imagine the financial dependence is a factor of rent money, and expenses are an issue, but whatever it is, keep on praying!
Here are a couple of web pages that can be of help to you also:
https://needencouragement.com/love-or-lust/ (There is a powerful video on the top of this page for you to see)
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. I am so glad that you desire to do what is right, not only what feels good. If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me back. I will try to help you if I can. But make sure to take this to God in prayer right now after you read this email, and God will direct you on what to do. It sounds to me that you need to think about this, pray about this, and do something about this.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Remember Monique, I was where you are at right now, 36 years ago, so I know what I am talking about. I have the scars to prove it. I hope and pray. You can avoid unnecessary scars in your life.
God bless you,

Bill Greguska



Subject: Intimacy
Message Body:
Good Day,
I hope you can give me some advice on what can be done in this situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost six years now, and last year we had slept together. We did this for the upcoming months until now when we had a serious talk about marriage etc.
My boyfriend is a full-time student, and I’m working full-time and studying part-time. He gave me high hopes that we would get engaged this year until recently we had a serious talk that he simply doesn’t have the money, and his student funding won’t find for private accommodation. I was a bit hurt by this because a big wedding never mattered to me. After all, I just wanted to be married to my partner.
Before you jump to conclusions, despite us sleeping together, we still did our Bible studies, and we still went to church and worshiped the Lord. We did not share any of our intimacy with others as well. It’s none of their business.
So now we discussed that maybe we shouldn’t sleep together anymore. I explained my feelings to my boyfriend and said I have been fighting intimacy because I just want to please God. Still, it’s been so difficult, and seeing we have given a part of ourselves to each other, makes it impossible for me just to give it up. But I assured him that I want to please God, but this is a hard battle!
I desperately think if we would marry, then this whole guilt would just not be so horrible. But my boyfriend doesn’t believe it’s our time anymore, but all over Facebook, I keep seeing everything wedding, and I am still praying but still get the impression God is calling us to marriage.
But if I bring this up with my boyfriend, he will simply tell me that I must date someone else if I’m desperate to get married. Not to hurt me, but he just wants me to be happy. We have been through so much together that I feel it would be a horrible decision to pack up and leave? What do you make of this?
Kind regards
Monique

Hi Marie,
I wish I could take away your stress and pain you are going through, but keep in mind that God has given you a good brain to use to help yourself. Right now, with the virus pandemic, it is hard to find personal space. Try your best to stay calm and do not provoke any unnecessary conflict.
Romans 12:18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
I have a couple of essential suggestions for you.
  1. Watch your diet, avoid sugar and alcohol, or any unprescribed drugs.
  2. Get some exercise in, at least take a nice long walk.
  3. Get proper sleep, 7-8 hours per night.
  4. Walk closely with God, for He and His Word have the answers that you need.
God’s Word is an instructional book on how to live. It does not tell us exactly what types of food we ought to eat or how much of it, but there are some ideas in Daniel’s book.
Daniel 1:12-16 “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.15 At the end of the ten days, they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.

Also, the Bible does not tell us what exercises we ought to do, but it says in
1 Timothy 4:8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
It is so important to rest our bodies and mind. Without knowing it, you are probably out of balance in your life. Reel yourself in, ask God to give you wisdom and discipline on taking care of the body and mind, and soul that He gave you. Don’t feel bad. We all get out of balance because of work, family, relationships, etc. Just start today as your first new day, and practice some of the things that I suggested to you.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to contact me again. But remember to always first go to God with your problems and concerns. It is still the best way to live life by going to the creator first!

Bill Greguska

Subject: stress
Message Body:
Hi,
I don’t know what to say. I am under severe stress, and it is hard to deal with sometimes. My home is a miserable place, and the members of my home stress me out. Please pray for my mother her leg gives out on her sometimes due to stress, and it gets severe to the point where she can’t even walk. My grandmother has extreme moods and his sometimes verbally abusive toward my mother; I have absolutely no social life, which stresses me because I have no one to talk to and no one to have fun with to escape the situation.
Jesus has brought me so far, and I have cured a lot of mental stress and scars. If I were to mention everything I have been through or am going through, it would take years to finish reading this message, so this is all I will say. I am just so ready to leave all of this stress behind, yet there is nowhere to go and no way to escape. Thank you for your prayers and please know my home is not the only thing stressing me. There are a  lot of other factors too that are too much to speak of.
-Marie.

Good evening I am really encouraged. I had taken my prayers to God and felt led to seek encouragement so I don’t faint out. Thanks for the listening ear and the timely encouragement.

 

Hi Debbie,
You will not know anything until you tell him the truth, that is, if you still love him? Neither one of us has a way of knowing what your boyfriend will or will not do, feel, or say. I suggest that you do what it says in Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
You need to step out in faith and let him know if you are afraid of a dangerous response from him, then tell him over the phone or in public are, as I said in the previous email. Make sure you continue to pray and keep trusting the Lord.
To answer your question. If he forgives you, you will hear it in his words and see it in his actions, and you will feel it in your heart and simply know it. Think back to when someone forgave you of anything. You will be able to tell.
Again, if what I have shared has been helpful to you, and you need to ask anything else, feel free to respond. But remember, you ought to take all things to God before you take them to others like me.
This link might be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/fear-of-failure/
God bless you, and may God help you keep your path straight.
Bill Greguska


Subject: Re: “Any advice for my relationship.”

Sir, good evening. This has been so so helpful to me, sir. I am going to meditate on the given scriptures. Then after this coronavirus lockdown, I will go to see him. I know I just have to tell him inevitably. If I lose him, then I know God will heal me and prepare someone else for me.
Another question, sir, please, what if he eventually forgives me? How will I know if he could trust me again? What would be the general signs that he will trust me or not? 
Thanks, sir.
Debbie

Hi Debbie,
This must be very hard for you to deal with this situation you got yourself into. Since you confessed your sin to God and asked for mercy, He will forgive you. In life, we have the free will to choose what we want to do. If we decide to sin, that is our choice, but we can not determine the consequences.
You have been dating your boyfriend for three years, and if you guys love each other, there is a chance that he might accept your confession and apology. This does not have to mean the end. But you will have to tell him real soon.
God has already forgiven you, but people do not always practice that type of forgiveness that God practices. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I would suggest praying about this situation and then get real honest with your boyfriend. There is a chance he might not forgive you and be angry. Still, there is no other way except to break up with him yourself (but it does not sound like you want to do that). You need to be honest with him or have a healthy relationship with him or anyone else in the future. Without honesty, be very hard.
I do not know your boyfriend, but if you are afraid to tell him because he might get angry and possibly violent, you might want to go somewhere public or even over the phone. (I say that just to be safe).

 

I pray that you take this to God again and ask for wisdom on talking to your boyfriend and where and how? James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

If what I have shared with you has been of help, feel free to write back if you have any more questions or concerns.

Bill Greguska

Subject: An advice for my relationship
Message Body:
My godly fiance and I chose to stay pure till marriage, three years going now. We don’t have sex or even kiss because we both agreed it wasn’t allowed. Last year, I traveled to another state then fell into sin, where I did all manner with a guy. I felt so ashamed and asked God for mercy. I repented. But now, how do I tell my guy what I did? I feel like leaving the relationship, but he won’t have it.  Should I tell him? What do I do? His trust in me will never be the same again.
Debbie

Hi Malikelei,
You did a very wise thing to reach out for help. My first question to you is, have you prayed about your marriage situation. That is where I strongly suggest that you start.
Keep in mind that all marriages take work and give and take between each other. It is beautiful that you want to respect your husband, yet it does not seem to me that he respects you a great deal himself. As I said, you need to pray about this, and it might be beneficial to have someone you both trust to come between the two of you to act as a referee to get things straightened out.
Without knowing more, which is unnecessary, I can tell that you both bring negativity to your marriage. In the meantime, all you can do is to change yourself and how you act and react to him. You can not change him, BUT you can pray for him (in doing so, your heart will soften, and you will gain compassion and understanding for your husband like you have not experienced before.
Think of it this way. You and Your husband are having some difficulties. A big part of that is that you (and myself and all people) are sinners. We tend to be selfish and self-centered. If you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, it would be beneficial to go to God in prayer, asking for wisdom and strength to get beyond your problems. Here are two scriptures that I think can be of help to you.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Since it may be hard to love and communicate with your spouse right now, even though you want to, keep this next scripture in mind to help you love and respect your husband. God will bless your marriage as you stay faithful to God. Ask your husband what he needs from you to help him? Maybe he is stressed out from work or the pressures of life. You both need to work on yourselves individually and work on your marriage together. Although you need God’s help and your cooperation with God’s plan for marriage, it can happen.

Luke 6:32-33 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.

If what I have said has been of help to you and you would like to email me back to discuss more, please feel free to do so.
Here a couple of web pages that can be of help to you. Take some time to go through them and see how they can help your marriage.
I pray that the Lord starts to open things up in your marriage and communication between you and your husband. Don’t give up. Your marriage is worth fighting for!
Write down on a piece of paper five things you love about your husband and share it with him.  Unfortunately, it looks like you will have to take the initiative to start the peace and love process to return to your marriage.

Bill Greguska

 

Hi, I’m fine and you, I am hopeless I need help in marriage the problem is me because every time we have a conversation with my spouse, I always interrupt his conversation before he even finishes what he’s saying, and what I haven’t realized is that he always tells me that when he tells me what’s wrong with me, I always defend myself for giving reasons, this is hurting him. He’s losing hope in me. I repeat this repeatedly, and I don’t like to hurt him. I want to listen to him either is paining today.
I went home to see my parents because there was a problem. I told him I’m visiting when I came back. He asks me what was wrong. I didn’t want to say to him because he always insulted me about my family and I prefer it when we fight. Or to him, but later I feel Quilty when I see that his hurt, did I do wrong, please help me too because I want to respect my husband with all my heart and sincerely, my hurt with my actions because it was repeating every time we have a conversation I don’t want to lose him I love him a lot, I’m asking for help.
Malikeleli

Hi Barbara,
Thank you for contacting us. No, you are not blind because there is no place for donations on this website on purpose. We do not want people to think we were in this for the money. Our goal is to encourage others and point them to Jesus Christ.
If you would like to do something for our ministry, please pray for us and tell those on your mailing list. That would be wonderful.
May God bless you, and may He keep you and your husband safe under the umbrella of His protection.

Bill Greguska

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Subject: Monthly donation
Message Body:
I am either blind, or there is no way to donate on this page. My husband and I went to Party for a Purpose in Scottsdale last December, where we were introduced to your organization.
Barbara

Hi Joy,

 

I am happy you decided to contact us. You have a good question, and we will try to point you to the answer. First of all, have you prayed about your inquire about pornography? If you have not, then please do so. If you have prayed, what is God telling you?
Below is some information that would be good for you to read and a video to watch to clear up some of your thoughts and feelings.
May God give you wisdom in this area of sexual sin. It is a sin like any other sin, and God disapproves of it. I hope what I share helps you, and if you need to talk again, feel free to contact us.
Or you can call 800-633-4346 (24 hours a day if you do not get an answer right away, you will need to try to call back again later.)

Bill Greguska
Read below.

Question: “What does the Bible say about pornography?”

Answer: By far, the most searched for terms on the internet are related to pornography. Pornography is rampant in the world today. Perhaps more than anything else, Satan has succeeded in twisting and perverting sex. He has taken what is good and right (loving sex between a husband and wife) and replaced it with lust, pornography, adultery, rape, and homosexuality. Pornography can be the first step on a very slippery slope of ever-increasing wickedness and immorality (Romans 6:19). The addictive nature of pornography is well documented. Just as a drug user must consume more significant quantities of drugs or more potent drugs to achieve the same “high,” pornography drags a person more profound and deeper into hard-core sexual addictions and ungodly desires.
This video below explains what the Bible says about pornography?



The three main categories of sin are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). Pornography causes us to lust after flesh, and it is undeniably a lust of the eyes. Pornography does not qualify as one of the things we are to think about, according to Philippians 4:8. Pornography is addictive (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19) and destructive (Proverbs 6:25-28; Ezekiel 20:30; Ephesians 4:19). Lusting after other people in our minds, which is the essence of pornography, is offensive to God (Matthew 5:28). When habitual devotion to pornography characterizes a person’s life, and he/she continues in sin without seeking help, making no attempt to stop, or feeling no desire to change his/her behavior, it demonstrates the person may not be saved (1 Corinthians 6:9-12).

For those involved in pornography, God can and will give the victory. Are you involved with pornography and desire freedom from it? Here are some steps to success: 1) Confess your sin to God (1 John 1:9). 2) Ask God to cleanse, renew, and transform your mind (Romans 12:2). 3) Ask God to fill your mind with things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable (Philippians 4:8). 4) Learn to possess your body in holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). 5) Understand the proper meaning of sex and rely on your spouse alone to meet that need (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). 6) Realize that if you walk in the Spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). 7) Take practical steps to reduce your exposure to graphic images. Install pornography blockers on your computer, limit television, and video usage, and find another Christian who will pray for you and help keep you accountable.

Recommended Resources: X3watch, Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Purity One Victory at a Time, and The Conquer Series

More insights from your Bible study – Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

Subject: Sharing my struggle with porn
Message Body:
Hi! I don’t know what I’m doing, but I thought maybe you could give me some advice if you’re not too busy.
I’m hesitant to tell my friend who struggles with porn because I also struggle because I don’t want things weird.  I know I don’t have to say to her, but I think I want to. It’s just done. Do I need to?  I guess I want to know how to approach the situation.  Should I only tell people about my struggle so they can help keep me on track?  Because if I tell her only for her to know she’s not alone, what’s the point? 
Where do I or we go from there?  I’m a very blunt person, and if I told her, I would probably only say, “Hey, I also struggle with porn,” and then we would just awkwardly stare at each other.  Like cool, we have the same problem, moving on now.  How is that helpful? Do I suggest we support each other?  Is that healthy for our relationship? I don’t know what I should do. If you have any advice, I would love to hear what you have to say 🙂
Joy

Hi Stephanie,
Thanks for reaching out, I have been a Christian since 1986, and I will encourage you in whatever way you are struggling the best I can. Please tell me more about what you are fearing.
My first question to you would be, have you prayed to God about whatever it is? If so, great. If not, then now is the time.
Feel free to get back to me, and I will try to help you the best I can. If you need someone to talk to right away, you can call 800-633-3446, and someone will be able to talk to you. (please note that the lines might be busy, so keep trying if you do not get someone right away. Otherwise, you can contact me again. Here is a link that can be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/fear/
I pray for you that your trust in the Lord can overpower your feelings of fear. Proverbs 3:5-6Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
My God bless you and keep you safe. Psalm 46:1  God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Overcoming fear
Message Body:
Hi, I was referred by a friend for free Christian Counseling here? I’m hoping to talk with somebody about my fears that have consumed me recently.
Stephanie

Hi Johnathan,
I am glad to hear that you are walking with God. That is so important. Your question about if you were right or wrong, I can tell you what Billy Sunday said years ago. “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday
A relationship with Jesus Christ is what is essential. I am not saying that church is not a good thing, but without a relationship with Jesus, a person is in trouble. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Let me ask you, when you pray, what things do you pray about, and what does God reply to you via his Word or through prayer? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Whatever sin we are struggling with, which in this case, I think you are referring to sexual sin, if you are trying to do it on your own, you will not find success, but if you ask Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help and guide you and strengthen you, then and only then will your prayers be answered and victory will be coming to you. https://needencouragement.com/pornography/
If what I have shared with you has been of help, feel free to contact me again.
Happy Resurrection Sunday to you, my friend.

Bill Greguska



Subject: sex addict

Brother Bill

Hi,  My name is Jonathan, and I  live in a nursing home now and have been walking with Yahweh since I  was a young man. 

My mother did not raise me. It was my grandparents who both social drinkers and well to financially repented. I  had the best life a kid could have went to Sunday school and church. I was sick with asthma most of the time and spent a lot of time in doctors’ offices and getting shots.
.
Finally, I  ended up in a Jewish Hospital in Denver Co. Before all this. I  would wear my grandmother’s. Clothes. I  saw psychologists and psychiatrists.
Finally, I  did it full time wherever I lived in Denver. Then people would come up and say, Jonathan, You need Jesus. My response was I go to church; I don’t need a savior.
Was I  wrong or what?  It took me a few years to hit rock bottom. I  was in a place with older people at the time; I did not care for them. I started drinking heavily. I  attempted suicide twice. I had a bad attitude to boot. Then God reached out to me through a night watchman who was also the small congregation’s pastor.
He always had his Bible handy, and I asked him a lot of questions. Then he invited me to his home for a Bible Study, where I  saw the joy on every face.
Especially the Sister  who always said in her Sweedish accent The Joy of the Lord is my Strength; 
This went on for a while until he invited me to his church, and that’s where I broke and repented of my sins and Jesus to come into my heart.
My folks were not too happy with my decision. Anyway, this is a sin I have been dealing with for years. I  have been through deliverance sessions.
Celebrate Recovery, but it is an ongoing battle between my flesh and spirit.
Yours Sincerely Jonathan

Just continue to pray for me and support me during this phase that I’m currently in

Sent from my iPhone
Hi Cody,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feeling with us. As far as you wanting to live longer, we all have that built into our nature, but as a Christian, you and I need to know that God is in control, and you will not live a moment longer or shorter than what God wills for you to do. Ecclesiastes 8:7 Since no one knows the future, who can tell someone else what is to come?

 

As far as you mentioned, Matthew 24, like the rest of the Bible, is true, but you also need to look at the Bible as a whole. Yes, we are in the end times, but no one knows the time or day that Jesus will come again, except that it will be like a thief in the night. If you are a born-again believer, you have nothing to fear, but if you are not born again and never put your faith in Jesus Christ, then I do not blame you for being full of anxiety and fear. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
Concerning your never being baptized, do you know about the thief on the cross in Luke 23 who was never baptized, and he is in heaven? It says in Luke 23:43 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Cody, you say you are nervous about this whole virus/ rupture situation. In that case, I would suggest that you keep praying and trust God’s word when says in Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

 

Here is another wonderful scripture that I like to think about when I get a little anxious to help you. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

Get someone to help you understand God’s word better. I would also suggest that you get your Bible opened up and start reading it (I would suggest starting in the book of John, or Proverbs, or Psalms).
I pray that you get closer to God more and more each day, keep your eyes on Jesus.

If what I have shared with you has been helpful, I encourage you to feel free to email us again if you have any more questions. In the meantime, I encourage you to pray and as God to make himself known to you in a way so that your anxiety can be taken care of asap. You can always call 800-633-3446 to talk with someone on the phone.
God bless you and give you peace.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Prayer
Message Body:
Right now, I’m just a nervous wreck because I’m just scared about the rapture. I know it’s something that I should be worried about, but I want to live a long life because I’m young. But it’s hard with everything happening throughout the world, whether it is the coronavirus or anything. It’s just giving me anxiety and stress, but I will say I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart, but I have never been baptized. Still, I have prayed the sinners’ prayer, but it’s just hard with all this talk about the coronavirus affecting everywhere.
I just want to spend a few more years on earth before Jesus returns so I can become the Godly man God wants to be. But for now, I’m just really nervous with this whole virus/ rapture, but I need to remember Mathew 24 because it says things that must occur before Jesus can return. Still, I’m going to consoling to help me, but I just need prayer and encouragement for this problem that I’m facing in my daily walk in the lord.
Cody

Hi Loveline,
My suggestion to you would to first take all your concerns to God in prayer. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Then the next step is to figure out what God wants you to do. Is there something you can admit to your husband that you might have been doing wrong with him? If so, that can be a start of communication between the two of you. Do not let your pride stop you from trying to be a peacemaker.  It really does not matter who did what to who and why…The problem is that you are not getting along.
When you talk to your husband next, go to him with love in your voice and the way you treat him. (it could be that he is a big cause of your problems, but if you do not start with love, you can not get to have the peace you want again.
Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.
I hope what I have shared has helped you. If you need to contact me again, please feel free to do so.
Or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a volunteer Christian counselor on the phone.
I will be praying that you can humble yourself to your husband and be the peacemaker in your relationship.
God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Subject: Emotional stress up
Message Body:
Please, I really need a counselor. My husband emotionally stresses me up. I can’t go to sleep even if I go to sleep. I’m restless in my sleep. When I’m by myself, I think so much about all he’s doing, and I will be asking myself many questions, and I will start crying.
Loveline

Hi Matthieu,
It is good that you are trying to help yourself. My first question to ask you is, have you been praying about this regularly? If not, that is the first thing I suggest you do.
Next, I would suggest checking out the following pages.
  1. https://needencouragement.com/pornography/
  2. https://needencouragement.com/pornography-or-purity/
  3. https://needencouragement.com/victory-over-pornography/
God’s word says a lot about this topic, try to memorize this one scripture, and it will hopefully help you.
Proverbs 6:25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.
You can feel free to contact me back, but for now, this will keep you going in the right direction.
I pray that the struggle for you gets lessened a little at a time, to the point that you will be free from this bondage.
Ask God to help you each morning and each night and during the day too.

Bill Greguska

Message Body:
Hello, I am a Cristian, but I have been struggling with pornography for a few years. I need someone who checks in on me because all of my attempts didn’t work. I know that I have to talk to someone or write to someone, so I found your website. Thank you.
Matthieu

Good morning Rusty,
Since you and your wife are both Christians, have you prayed about this situation on your own or with each other?
My first thought is that your marriage is important to guard and protect. As a Christian myself, I was instructed many years ago that men should minister to men, and women minister to women as a general rule. If your wife talking to men makes you uncomfortable and talking to a female co-worker makes her uncomfortable, the most simple solution would be to have both of you stop doing that. Psalm 119:66 Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust your commands.
You stick to taking with men concerning your faith and communication, and your wife talking to women about her faith and communication. Or another idea is that the two of you talk with whoever the Lord leads the two of you to talk with. Having two people is usually always better, as saying in scriptures.
If you want to open communication with your wife, I suggest that you share my comments with her, but do so lovingly and respectfully. She most likely does not mean any harm to you, but in reality, that is not the truth. Here is an analogy: It would be like if she were in her car and backed up over your foot, she would not have done it on purpose, but the damage has already been done. Now is the time to prevent more hurt from happening between the two of you and still be able to witness to others. This link can be of help to the two of you. https://needencouragement.com/communication/
I pray that you take this to the Lord in prayer and guard each other’s hearts. Your marriage will suffer if there is not enough trust. At the same time, it is wise to avoid things that threaten peace in your marriage.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

If what I have shared has helped, please feel free to contact me back again. I would love to hear how you both handle this situation.
God bless you and your marriage!

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Trust
Message Body:
My spouse has a calling to notice people who may need a kind word and hear about the Lord. It seems to me when we’re out in public, she will notice, and it’s usually a black man, and she will ask if they need prayer. Sometimes I’m there standing with her. Sometimes she will say I’ll be right back and go over to a male and talk to them, usually in eyesight. Sometimes she comes home and tells me of meeting a man she said he was married, and he told her about his relationship with God and talked to her about his military background and even his father’s military background.
She was out doing errands said she would be home soon. Fifteen minutes later, she texts and says, be home ASAP. Then 20 minutes later, she makes it home. She tells me about the conversation she has with the man about his relationship with God and his military background. She talked to him at his place of employment. He is a bank teller.
My question is, my wife says this is a God thing, and I can see that, but it concerns me that it affects how I view our marriage and trust. I told her of a conversation I had with a female co-worker; a co-worker complained about another co-worker and needed to change her work shift to get away from this person. My wife was upset about the conversation saying it was too intimate, and we were making an emotional connection.
Please help if possible. Does this seem like a normal situation, and is it anything to wonder about?  I need peace about this?
Thank you, Rusty

Hi Cache,
I hope you have been praying about your situation. I am sorry to hear about your financial hardship. I pray that you work diligently with your counselor and trust that God has this situation under control. I pray that whatever wounds you have that the Lord will comfort you through it. You did not say much to me about your wounds, but the Lord knows what you are going through.
I would suggest praying and asking God for wisdom and self-discipline for your financial problems because you will need it to get your budget in check. https://needencouragement.com/plan-a-budget/
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
May God bless you,

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Healing wounds
Message Body:
Seeking counseling but experiencing financial hardship.

 

Hi Anthony,
There are a couple of prayer lines and helplines you can contact.
I am sharing the Billy Graham Prayer Line to have this as a resource for you and others. They are on 24 hours a day, seven days a week. God bless you, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PbEcM_JNWQ&feature=youtu.be.
If you want to worship online this weekend, I would goggle (Online church services)
I hope this will be of help to you. Let me know if I can be of more help to you?
God bless you and stay safe. Be strong. You are still married.

Bill Greguska

 


Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Marriage”

Bill T
Thanks so much for answering my email quickly.  I know some people are hurting right now and need prayer. I do. Thank you again.
I also believe God just intervened here. Thank you, Jesus! I needed your words of encouragement. 
I live up here in the Boston area, and it’s difficult to find a good place to worship Jesus. 
And now, with the Pandemic, it’s impossible.
I noticed you have a prayer line, and I’ll use it.
Do you know of any online prayer groups or bible studies that are interactive?
Thanks again!
Anthony Amari


Subject: Re: “Marriage”

Hi Anthony,
I usually wait a while to respond to emails that I get, but yours really hit home with me. I really feel your PAIN!
First things first. You need to keep praying and reading your Bible, fellowshipping with other believers via phone, email, text for your support. Do not look at the waves, but keep your eyes on the Lord. Once you take your eyes off, you will be sunk.
Your story is very similar to mine. My wife got an apartment. She said for four months to find herself. She refused to go to counseling anymore, and that four months turned into two years. I stood firm and did not divorce her, but she met someone during her time away and then eventually divorced me after I waited for two long years. I kept my eyes on the Lord, yet it was excruciating (I can not lie to you) But taking my pastor and his wife’s suggestion by not divorcing her gave me a clear conscience, knowing I did everything I could do to save the marriage and honor the Lord. My wife moved out in 2005 and divorced me in 2007.
You need to think and pray about what you are going to do. I suggest that you stay on course and weather out this storm the best you can. Take this time to get closer to God. I started this website in 2007 to encourage others, yet in doing so, my pastor and his wife knew it would encourage me, and sure enough, it has been a blessing to not only me but also others. God takes broken things and makes good come from out of them. He will do the same for you. Maybe you will get your wife back. Maybe you will not. Only God knows. But please, please use this time wisely to glorify God and get back closer to Him.
Learn to keep this situation and everything in an open palm, since God gives us all things, and we need to keep an open palm in case he has to allow it to be taken away for whatever purpose that we may not understand.
Your life is not over. It has been temporarily sidetracked. Get back on track!  Be wise in ALL you say and do with your wife and children. Your kids are old enough to understand what is going on. Be the man that God has called you to be, and you will not have any regrets, pain, yes, but no regrets, no matter what the outcome. If what I have shared has been helpful, please feel free to contact me back.

May God bless you, and I pray that He guards your heart during this most difficult time in your life.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Marriage
Message Body:
My wife of 22 years has decided to lease an apartment for a year. Calling it a temporary separation. We have three kids. 2 are 16, and the other 21
Things started to change for her a few years ago when she started full-time work. She started to look for her identity. I also want to be clear that I have been the dominant one in our relationship, probably not as easy going as I should have been. And frankly, I wish someone could’ve knocked me out to smarten me up. I always had the best intentions for my family, though. That will never change.
I am a Christian; I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins. Oh, thank you, Jesus! But my walk with him is a battle. My faith waivers and I hate that.
We never had a good Christian foundation in my family. I talked much to my kids about christ and forgiveness and to turn to him for everything.  My wife had faith as well, but now she has looked to other forms of self-help religions. And her views on Christianity has faded. I have been praying to God about bringing us back to the center, but I know now that it’s in God’s will. This is the worst feeling one could have. I think of my kid’s feelings that haunt me the most. I mostly think of my father Jesus because I know that he hates this amongst the family.
Please pray for me. It is difficult to find someone to talk to that has the same belief as me. I hope and pray that God gives me the wisdom on how to move ahead here. My wife is very stubborn, and I’m afraid her mind is already made up. The world is such a mess right now, and I know that people need God’s grace more than me.
I ask for strength in Jesus!

Hi Sarah,
It is so very wonderful to hear your positive report! Praise God!!! I believe that praying has helped you. Just think, only a few days ago, you were struggling with loneliness, your diet, and possibly a little depression. Your life had gotten pretty dark, but you invited the light (Jesus Christ) into your life to help you.
I was thinking about your situation, and I honestly believe that you would benefit from having someone at least ten years or older than you to use as an accountability partner. (someone who can contact you regularly who is a Christian can go to with your problems, worries, or fears). Of course, that is after you take your concerns to the Lord first!
I pray that you keep up the excellent work. Also, I hope that you refer back to the suggestions that I shared with you already. Keep in mind that my ideas are just guidelines and that the best thing to do is to contact your doctor and get his opinions since he knows you much better than I do, plus I am not a doctor.
Please try to be consistent with the good things you are doing, and don’t give up if the pressure builds or gets frustrated again. I trust that you are going to be just fine. Keep your eyes on the Lord.
I have had this website for 13 years, and I do not charge any money because the payment I get is just hearing good stories as you shared with me!!! Thank you!
Check out our entire website and see what will be of help to you? https://needencouragement.com/spiritual-related/
Check out this link too, and listen to Pastor Rick Warren’s video. I think you will benefit from it a great deal! https://needencouragement.com/healthy-food/
Now keep up the good work!!! Be sure that when you pray next, that you thank God for helping you through this situation you were in. AMEN!!! Also, feel free to contact 800-633-3446 to be able to talk to someone on the phone. (if you can not connect with someone right away on the phone, try back another time. They are very busy but accommodating!
Sarah, remember to read at least a little bit from your Bible each morning (and maybe a Christian devotional such as Billy Graham or Charles Stanley, etc.) and keep praying regularly too. Do not forget to get more involved with your church and an accountability partner friend. All these things will be of great help to you to protect you from any type of backsliding. If you have any unconfessed sin in your life, now is a time to confess it to God, as it says in 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Also, if you need to contact us again, feel free to do so. You are in our prayers!
God bless you!

Bill Greguska

 

Hi Bill
I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the kind encouragement you gave me.  I am doing much better,  getting back into the Bible and prayer.  All in God’s hands, and I am feeling good.  Eating has improved.  Getting good-sized lunch and dinners in! Breakfast I am working on getting right. So thank you very much. 
Your sister in Christ

Hi Aaron,
I am glad you reached out. I believe in lists for myself, but in your case, if you made a list of all the things you believe in, that would be a great thing. For yourself to do. This way, you will be nailing down exactly what you believe, which is what your question to me is. But before you start making your lists, take some time to sit quietly and pray for a few minutes. Try to connect with God in prayer and see if you can get some idea of what His will is for you in your life. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
The same can go for your other question about saying there are no to the evil forces around you. You ought to list those things you are referring to, and then try to figure out what have been some things you have done that have been helpful?

Ephesians 6:12-17 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and again spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

As far as your last question about how to relate to people, better focus on asking questions to the other people in your life. Also, share a little bit about yourself, such as your interest, your hopes, your fears, and focus on the good about others. Also, make positive observations about the things you see, things going on, and anything uplifting. Think about one of your best friends who have known and think about what the two of you used to talk about and do.

Luke 10:27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

I hope the things that I have shared with you will be of help to you. If they have been and you feel a need to email me back, feel free to do so.
I pray that the Holy Spirit will become more alive and real to you, and your faith will start to grow more and more. I also pray that you will open and read your Bible. I would suggest starting in the book of John, Proverbs, Psalms, which will keep you busy and focused on the Lord instead of your insecurities and fears.

Bill Greguska

 

Subject: RE: “Need encouragement.”

Hello Bill,
I need spiritual encouragement. I need help standing up for my beliefs & saying no to the evil forces around me.
Also could use help on how to relate to people.   
Thanks!
 Aaron

Subject: Re: “Need encouragement.”
Hi Aaron,
It would help you know what type of encouragement you need, such as spiritual, relational, and crises.
Thanks, and God bless you!
Bill Greguska
Subject: Need encouragement
Message Body:
I need your encouragement through discouraging times.  Thanks!

Aaron


Hi Trish,
I want to thank you for your interest in helping out. We covet your prayers that those who visit the site can find what they need for themselves specifically.
Mainly find Jesus as their Lord and Savior and start or strengthen their relationship with God. One of the big things is helping people get out of their problems and into the solutions!
I could put you on the mailing list, and you could forward the email to others on your email list. That would be GREAT to help let others know about our ministry!
God bless you! 

Bill Greguska



Subject: How to become a coach
Message Body:
Wanted information on how to volunteer for just a few hours a week as a coach?
Trish

Hi Sherry,
Here is the link you can go to get a free Bible with free delivery.
Just click the link and fill out the information.
God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Subject: bible
Message Body:

I would like a bible.

Sherry

Hi Kristian,
It is so good that you seek out the understanding of God’s Word to apply it to your life.
What is most important is your relationship with God and how you live your life. I went to GotQuestions.com and found some information for you that will be of help to you. Your outward submission to God is what is not, and in today’s culture, it is up to the women to decide what best honor God in her own heart in today’s church.
Below is the link that will share more specific information to answer your question a little more in-depth.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to email me back if you would like.
May God bless you, and you continue to grow closer to Him each day!

Bill Greguska

Subject: Question
Message Body:
Hello,
I am a believer and have felt the Lord leading me towards a more disciplined lifestyle and responsibility. Recently I felt like the Lord told me to wear a head covering & wasn’t sure why (I’m a woman) one day. I was content but wanted to understand scripture fully. I became uncertain when just not long ago I came across a verse 1 Titus 14 that states we shouldn’t follow the rules made up by religious leaders, and it made me think about the modesty rule in Judaism and that women needed to cover their heads, which I thought was the right path to mimick.
This has caused me to feel a little unsettled because I’m trying to be obedient and live modestly for God. Still, verses like 1 Corinthians 11:1-34 and then 1 Corinthians 11:15 somewhat confuse me because it’s a going back and forth in my head to cover my head and then that I don’t need to. It only applies to hair for women. This has become a little distressing to me. I’m embarrassed just for constantly going back and forth in my own head and not knowing what is right. Could you please teach me what these verses mean and whether a modern-day woman needs to cover her hair or leave her hair long? I would appreciate this.
Thank you.
Kristina

 


 

Hi Amber,
I am sorry it has taken me so long to answer your question. I started to answer, but I needed to think and pray about it more. Plus, it has been a hectic week, the guy I help who has Spina Bifida was in the hospital this week, and I had to take care of his dog this week. Enough of my excuses. How are you doing?
Often God allows things to happen when we choose to do our own will. That is what happened to me when I was 22 years old. I got my girlfriend pregnant, and she broke up with me. I saw the baby only once until she was 12 years old. That was very painful,
I am sure you are going through your pain right now yourself. You will make it through; just keep your eyes on God and allow Him to direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Here are a couple of thoughts for you to consider.
  1. Have you prayed about this situation?
  2. You might think that your baby and boyfriend situation is your biggest concern, but I am more concerned about your relationship with God?
  3. Understand that when we make choices to sin, God can and will forgive us 1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. At the same time that God forgives us, there are consequences to our sins quite often. So whatever you choose to do, you are free to choose, but you are not free to choose the consequences.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Also, keep in mind the scripture 1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Your situation with your baby and boyfriend and new boyfriend are some hard decisions to make. Please take your concerns to God in prayer, and seek wise counsel to help you walk through this! I hope what I have shared with you has helped you. If it has been, feel free to contact me back again. (again, I am sorry it took so long to get back to you).

Here is another scripture, but it does not relate to your situation since you are not married, but since you had a baby with your boyfriend, you can glean some wisdom from it.

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.12 To the rest, I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

I will be praying for you. Please pray too!!!

Bill Greguska

Subject: Unequally Yoked
Message Body:
I need help figuring out whether or not I should break up with my boyfriend. He’s not a Christian, and I am. Besides that, the past year has been very rocky for us. We just had a baby this past March, and I don’t know how to break up with him without creating too much friction between us due to the baby. I truly feel that last year God was trying to tell me not to date him. I don’t know if He meant not to date him at all, or just not at the moment.
However, everything seemed ok, so I went ahead and did what I wanted. To add to this, I think I am in love with someone I have been friends with for over a decade; however, he is also in a new relationship. I have just made a mess of everything, and I need help. I don’t know what to do.
Amber

 

 


 

Thank you.
God Bless

Sent from Outlook Mobile

 

Subject: Re: “Mailing List”

Good morning Angie,
Thank you for your interest in our website. I am glad to put you on my mailing list. I sent out approximately one or two per week. If you ever want to get off of the mailing list, please just let me know.
I am sure you will like the emails, and please feel free to forward them to others on your email list.
Proverbs 25:25 Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land.
Here are two links of the many links on the website that I think you will like.

God Bless you, and may He keep you safe under His umbrella of protection.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Mailing List
Message Body:
Can you add me to your email list, please?
Thank you, God Bless.
Angie

 


 

 

Hi Felicia,

 

I am glad you reached out to us. Also, I am so happy you are a grateful believer in Jesus Christ! Keep your eyes on Him!

 

As far as your prodigal daughter(s), I too have a prodigal step-son, and I have done the same as you, it seems. I raised him in church, taught him about God, Jesus, and the Bible and how to live right. Yet we need to keep in mind who our children are in the first place? They come through us, but they are ultimately God’s creation. It was painful for me to have my step-son rebelled a couple of years ago now, he is in his late 20’s, but I did all I could do to keep the peace between him and me.


Romans 12:18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

We can only do so much, and then we need to let go and just pray for our wayward children. Sometimes natural consequences soften their hearts, other times not. My pastor’s wife told me something precious when she said for me to have an open palm concerning everyone and everything, for someday, the Lord might choose to take the person or thing out of our lives.

 

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.
This scripture in Proverbs 22:6 does not give a specific timeline for our children. I do feel in my heart that my step-son someday will come back to me wanting peace, but I am not guaranteed that. What we can do is pray for them.
If there is any communication left between you and your daughter(s), then go to them in a peaceful spirit and ask to talk with them individually. If they are willing, try to listen carefully and ask pointed questions to figure out what is going on with them? You never know what is on their mind. My stepson was very upset about a dog.
We had to give up when my marriage was very shakey. He was way over the top emotionally about giving up the dog, and he blamed me specifically, although it was a group decision with his mom and me and our pastor and his wife. He wanted me to admit it was my decision, but it was not, and I could not lie. I pray that whatever is bothering your daughter(s) comes out in the open and can be dealt with appropriately.

 

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I will pray that God gives you the wisdom that you need to deal with this situation. I pray that YOU keep praying and calling out to God for His understanding. I also pray that your daughters will gain wisdom and knowledge and come to the Lord on their own, for now, either with or without you.

Bill Greguska



Subject: Prodigal adult daughter
Message Body:
My name is Felicia, and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I raised my 2 now-adult kids Julianna 21 and Jesse, 31, up in the church, and as they got older, they left the church and said they don’t know what to believe. My daughter Julianna stopped speaking to me for 5 months since she moved out and said she doesn’t know what to think about this whole Jesus thing. Today she finally texted me to blame all her problems on the church, religion, and me.
I know that God is working in my life since she moved out of the house with her boyfriend, who is not a Christian. I could use prayers for both Julianna and her boyfriend, Michael. May the Lord send someone that can share the love of Jesus into their path that they may be able to listen to. Also, for Julianna to have a softened heart and to turn from rebelling against God and me. I love the Lord with all my heart and know that he is the only one that can help me at this time we are living in right now. I don’t want to be fearful and worried about my adult kids. Thanks so much for taking the time to pray for us.

Good morning Angela,
I am glad you have reached out for some help and encouragement. Yet When you say that you have anger and depression problems, that is a pretty general description of your dealing.
  • Have you been treated for depression before?
  • Are you seeing a doctor now?
  • Do you take medication for your anger and depression? 
  • What do you do to deal with your anger and depression now?
  • Is there something in your life that is triggering your anger and depression?
  • If you can identify what makes you angry or depressed, that is a great place to start.
You need to be a little more specific if you would like some advice.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Although in a general overview, I would suggest that you pray about your situation and ask God to give you the direction you need. You can also check out a couple of pages on our website that could also be of help.
You would need to be more specific to really benefit from anyone’s advice instead of just saying that you have anger and depression problems.
If what we have shared has been helpful, feel free to email us back.

Bill Greguska

Message Body:
Hi, my name is Angela. I need counseling as I have anger and depression problems.

 

 

 


 

 

Hi Shane,
I forgot to include this photo I thought you would like…
Hang in there. Things will get better as you stick close to God!

Bill Greguska

Hi Shane,
I am glad you reached out to us. I have been in a similar situation when I was younger, like you. Yes, it can be a very dark place, yet it will not get better in a long-term way without God. Ask yourself the following questions, and I am sure it will help get you kick-started to where you want to be in your life.
  1. Do you pray?
  2. Do you read God’s word?
  3. Do you have a relationship with God?
  4. Do you have any family or friends to help give you support?
  5. Do you think seeing a pastor or counselor would be something you are seen as important to do?
  6. Do you get any exercise?
  7. Do you eat healthy?
  8. Do you avoid alcohol and drugs (except what has been prescribed by a doctor)
  9. Do you get 7-8 hours of sleep?
  10. Do you realize that you did not get into this situation overnight and need to be patient to get out of it? Are you ready to start?
  11. Is there anything you can do to make amends or ask forgiveness for what you are feeling guilty about?
  12. What steps in the right direction can you take to get yourself out of the hole you are in?
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to email me back.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
May God bless you, and may He show you His love and mercy,

Bill Greguska


Subject: Help
Message Body:
Hi, I’m Shane. I’m a 31-year-old male.
I have lost everything in life because of addiction, and now I’m in a dark place just existing. I feel worthless and riddled with sin and guilt. I need help. I need God!

Shane

 

 


 

 

 

Hi Ralph,

 

There is nothing wrong with questioning your faith, just as long as you seek God to give you the answers you are searching for. To question my faith, I always find the solutions in God’s word, the Bible. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

 

I will share a website with you to help you find answers to almost all your questions. I use it pretty often when I point others to Christ, or even when I have things I do not know what I believe myself. They point people to Jesus and use scriptures to back up what they share. Here is the link… GotQuestions.org

 

If what I have shared with you is a help to you in your questioning mode. You can feel free to contact me again. Remember that God loves you. He came to save you and me from our sin (we all do sin, right?), and without Jesus dying for us, we would be separated from God for eternity. That right, there is something to think about. God gives us direction on where to go and what to do when we take our cares to Him in prayer. The Bible has tons of wisdom you can find. Here is another website to help you search word topics…https://classic.biblegateway.com/

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

 

God bless you,

 

Bill Greguska



Subject: My faith

Message Body:

I’m questioning my faith.

Ralph

 

 


 

 

Hi Grace,
People can sometimes be judgemental and even cold at times the way we speak to one another. I am sure that you do not pity yourself and need to grow up as they say. That is a broad stroke comment. If I were you, I would ask them precisely what they mean when they say that to you. (there might be something you can learn from their comments because we all have weaknesses and faults). I try to consider it a blessing when someone points out something that might be a little hurtful to hear, but there is truth in it for me to learn from.
My assignment for you this week is to make contact with a friend and actually get together with them. It might be a little hard to do, like jumping in a pool off of a diving board. It might be scary, but once you are in the water, I am sure you will enjoy it immensely! Please let me know how the meet up with your friend went. That way, you will be sure actually to do it.
Be bold, and also keep calm while you continue to trust in God! Friendships will come to you, but be more concerned about your relationship with God!

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Bill Greguska


Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Relationship”

Hello Bill,

   Thank you for your email. Yes, I have talked to God about these things. And yes, I have talked to my family about it too. They respond that I pity myself and that I need to grow up. 
   As for finding friends… I think I need to try harder to talk to new people. I am texting a friend I used to have, but we haven’t talked face to face for three and a half years. Maybe I should try and meet up with her. That would be a start.
   Thank you for praying that I would be bolder. I also think a good thing I would ask someone to pray for me would be that God would allow me to make new friends.
Grace



Hi Grace,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. Have you considered praying to God about this? May I ask what you have been trying to do to make friends? It takes a little effort and to be friendly to others to have friends. Who was your last friend that you had? Is there any way you can reconcile your friendship with them? https://needencouragement.com/be-a-good-friend/
Would you consider talking to your family and letting them know you would like to be closer to them? Taking a step out in faith and trying to make things better with your family would be what I would strongly suggest. If something needs to be worked out and talked about, that sounds like the right place to start.
It is not as difficult as you may think to find friends. (yes, even during a pandemic). You need to make yourself available and be friendly to others that you come in contact with. Remember, you do not need a ton of friends. Maybe just one or two or three friends would be a good start.  https://needencouragement.com/finding-friends/
I will pray for you that you become a little bolder in your reaching out and that God gives you the confidence you need to strike up conversations and initiate friendships. Try to find people with similar interests and likes, such as cooking, walking, movies, church, etc. If you keep your eyes open, you will find people that you will like and that will like you too!
Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
 
If what I have said has been helpful and would like to say more or ask a question, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to help you more.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Subject: Relationship
Message Body:
I feel a lack of love from my family, and I have no friends.
Hi Grace,
People can sometimes be judgemental and even cold at times the way we speak to one another. I am sure that you do not pity yourself and need to grow up as they say. That is a broad stroke comment. If I were you, I would ask them precisely what they mean when they say that to you. (there might be something you can learn from their comments because we all have weaknesses and faults). I try to consider it a blessing when someone points out something that might be a little hurtful to hear, but there is truth in it for me to learn from.
My assignment for you this week is to make contact with a friend and actually get together with them. It might be a little hard to do, like jumping in a pool off of a diving board. It might be scary, but once you are in the water, I am sure you will enjoy it immensely! Please let me know how the meet up with your friend went. That way, you will be sure actually to do it.
Be bold, and also keep calm while you continue to trust in God! Friendships will come to you, but be more concerned about your relationship with God!

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Bill Greguska


Hello Bill,

 

Thank you for your email. Yes, I have talked to God about these things. And yes, I have talked to my family about it too. They respond that I pity myself and that I need to grow up.
As for finding friends, I think I need to try harder to talk to new people. I am texting a friend I used to have, but we haven’t talked face to face for three and a half years. Maybe I should try and meet up with her. That would be a start.
Thank you for praying that I would be bolder. I also think a good thing I would ask someone to pray for me would be that God would allow me to make new friends.
Grace
Hi Grace,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. Have you considered praying to God about this? May I ask what you have been trying to do to make friends? It takes a little effort and to be friendly to others to have friends. Who was your last friend that you had? Is there any way you can reconcile your friendship with them? https://needencouragement.com/be-a-good-friend/
Would you consider talking to your family and letting them know you would like to be closer to them? Taking a step out in faith and trying to make things better with your family would be what I would strongly suggest. If something needs to be worked out and talked about, that sounds like the right place to start.
It is not as difficult as you may think to find friends. (yes, even during a pandemic). You need to make yourself available and be friendly to others that you come in contact with. Remember, you do not need a ton of friends. Maybe just one or two or three friends would be a good start.  https://needencouragement.com/finding-friends/
I will pray for you that you become a little bolder in your reaching out and that God gives you the confidence you need to strike up conversations and initiate friendships. Try to find people with similar interests and likes, such as cooking, walking, movies, church, etc. If you keep your eyes open, you will find people that you will like and that will like you too!
Matthew 22:36-40 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
 
If what I have said has been helpful and would like to say more or ask a question, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to help you more.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Subject: Relationship
Message Body:
I feel a lack of love from my family, and I have no friends.
Grace

 


 

 

Hi Yaboku,

 

I am glad you have reached out for some help. Are you a follower of Jesus Christ? What I mean by that, do you put your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, knowing that He died on the cross for all our sins, all we need to do is to accept that free gift of salvation? (that will not mean that all your problems will magically go away), It does mean that the Holy Spirit can help you and guide you when issues come up, and difficulties sure do come regularly. It is a part of life.


https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

You admit to several sins, and you seem to want to break that cycle of sinning sincerely. Here is a scripture that you need to know about.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

 

It seems like you are struggling with many different things. Allow me to ask you a few questions:

  1. Do you eat healthy, meaning stay away from sugar, alcohol, drugs, etc.?
  2. Do you sleep between 7-8 hours each night? Sleep is essential.
  3. Do you exercise at all, even going for walks is a good way to exercise?
  4. Are you doing what your doctor recommends that you do?

 

If what I have shared with you has been helpful to you, please feel free to email me if you have any questions or feel you need to say more.

 

May God bless you as you lean on Him for your comfort and strength.

 

Bill Greguska

 

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “I desperately need help-seeking and receiving God’s peace.”

Subject: I desperately need help-seeking and receiving gods peace
Message Body:
Hello, my name is Yaboku. It’s not my birth name, but it’s basically the only name I feel comfortable going by. I am 15 years old and suffering from hypochondria (also known as health anxiety), anxiety disorder, dissociation, gender dysphoria, and health issues. I’m reaching out to whoever is in charge here because I desperately need help with my faith. I feel so fearful, lost, broken, hopeless, and alone.
My physical and mental health has steeply gone downhill within the past 4-6 months but has only gotten severe this past month. I have been sinning so much, lying without feeling remorseful and seeking revenge on those who hurt me online. I don’t want to be this terrible person I see myself as. I’m disgusted with myself, but I feel like I can’t stop. Within the last few days, I’ve been going around on Christian sites and live streams with sermons asking for prayers.
I’ve been praying myself as well, begging God to help me hear him and begging him for peace because I’m at a breaking point. I have started reading the bible, but my concentration skills have severely gone down the drain lately. It’s tough for me to remember a verse I previously read, but somehow I can remember certain parts at later times, thank God. I’m having a tough time concentrating and hearing things lately. I’m so afraid, and the only person I would usually reach out to is my mother, but she’s fed up with my complaining and breakdowns.
I’m not sure what this site is for, but I really want someone to talk to and guide me with my faith. I feel like God no longer knows me because of everything I’ve done that hurt him, and I feel so lost without him.  I want to be a better person, and I want the confidence to spread his good word. I just need help with it. I’m sorry if that’s not what you’re here for. But this is my cry for help. I’m seeking Christian counseling, and even if this isn’t the right place to contact you for it, I would really appreciate it if you could please Email me back and point me in the right direction. Thank you, and God bless

 

 


 

 

Hi Mary,

 

I hope you are having a good Sunday. I am glad you took the effort to reach out. That is a good thing. I just want to remind you to take all your cares to the Lord in prayer. He hears our prayers and comforts us in all our needs.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

I shared this scripture with you because my former Pastor Ron Sauer and his wife Sue shared that scripture with me 11 years ago when my wife moved out of the house for two years and eventually divorced me. I was very depressed, so they were wise enough to help me get my thoughts off my pain and encourage others. That is what I would suggest that you do in your situation. Find someone you know who needs some attention on the phone or write them a letter of encouragement. When you do something like that, (even though you are all three depressed yourself, you will find great joy in encouraging someone else.

I encourage you to renew your thinking and put your thoughts on good things. Here is one of my favorite scriptures that speaks to me, mostly when stress and anxiety pile on me.
Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.


That is what happened with me, I listened to my pastor and his wife, and when I stopped focusing on my pain, and when I tried to encourage others, my pain and problems became less, and things slowly started to get better.

Please trust me when I ask you to reach out to someone else because when you do, it is like putting perfume on to them, but at the same time, you can not help to get some on yourself!!!


Here a page from my website that I think will also help you.

https://needencouragement.com/depression/

Here is a short video that will help you get right with God if you are struggling with your faith.

https://youtu.be/8VkGijLKLz0

If what I have shared with you has been helpful and you would like to share more or ask a question, feel free to email me back.

I pray for the three of you that God blesses you all richly as you learn more and more on God for your strength!

Bill Greguska

P.S. A good place to encourage someone else would be with your own husband and daughter, talk with one another, share laughter and humor https://needencouragement.com/need-laughter/

 

 

Subject: depression

Message Body:

I need prayer for depression. I’m 70 years young. I have been saved since 1976. The coronavirus hasn’t helped these past months. I have scoliosis and Osteoporosis and was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. My walking is very limited, and I haven’t been able to get out and get some physical exercises as I would like to. I’ve been married to a wonderful man for 51 years and have three great adult children. My husband and daughter, who lives with us, is also fighting depression.

How can all three of us help each other and get our lives back?

Mary

 


 

 

Good Morning Bethany,
It is very refreshing to me to hear the praise you have given your best friend, Pat. My suggestion to you is to let her know and learn from her to be that way to others yourself. The love and comfort that Pat has given to you is a blessing from God.
Remember your main best friend who’s name is Jesus Christ. Follow him and be salt and light to those in your life, do God’s will, and be the person God wants you to be. https://needencouragement.com/be-a-good-friend/
Thank you for the beautiful praise report. Usually, those who contact me have problems that need help. Keep walking with the Lord, and maybe somehow show your thanks to Pat in some way, such as a card or take her out for lunch. Don’t forget to thank God!!!
God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “My best friend.”

Subject: My best friend
Message Body:
Her name is pat. She is my best friend, and she puts others before herself, and she is always there for me. She is nice and kind and sweet.
Bethany

 


 

 

Hi Shanice,

 

I am glad you have reached out for some help. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling as you are. As far as your panic attack, are you letting your doctor know what is going on with you?

 

You did not mention it, but I wondered if you are totally sure if you are a Christian or not? If you are, have you prayed about all your situations? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/ If you are not sure 100% that you are a Christian, have you been at least trying to learn how to follow Jesus. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

 

As far as people walking over you, I am not surprised to hear that we live in a self-centered world full of evil. Here is a scripture for you to consider.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Stress can be a very crippling thing. Please make sure you:
  1. Eat healthy foods, avoid sugar and alcohol, and street drugs.
  2. Make sure you exercise each day, even taking a walk is something.
  3. Try to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
  4. If you have someone you need to ask forgiveness from or forgive, be sure to do it asap.
  5. Be sure to pray and confess ALL your sins to God and read your Bible.
  6. Get involved with your church, pastor, and fellowship.
  7. Rekindle your relationship with Jesus and trust that He has the answers that you need. 

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
It sounds like you could benefit from the help of a friend, pastor, family member, or counselor. Take an inventory of your life and see what part God plays in it. Then take inventory of those people in your life that can help you. Also, take an inventory of those who you reach out to help in their lives. (you must be saying to yourself, but I need help. Yes, that may be true, but one of the best ways to help yourself is to help someone else).
I encourage you to call someone tomorrow with the intention not to be helped, but to help someone else. Try this and let me know how it works. I suggest this because when I went through a divorce in 2005, my pastor Ron and his wife, Sue Sauer, told me to encourage others. At first, I thought they were crazy for saying that, but quickly after they explained, I realized that was one of the biggest keys besides leaning on God and His word that help me so much to get out of my depression and out from under all the stress (including a couple of panic attacks that I had back then).
The things that you listed that you want to improve upon in your life are possible. Keep in mind what it says in Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Shanice, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to contact me back if you have more you need to say or any questions you have.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Stress

Message Body:

I recently had a panic attack the other day, which was not good. The last time I had a panic attack before was probably over a year.

Sometimes I feel like people walk over me, even the way people talk to me.

I wish I can afford to move financially. I’m considered very low-income. I’m on SSI/SSDI

I really want to move too many people & other stuff, just negative & complaining.

I don’t have a career,

I can’t even take care of my son. I haven’t seen him since 2016. He did move back to the start I’m in this summer with my dad & stepmom, it’s still difficult, now the season is about to get colder & snow, I don’t drive, I don’t want him by me, because I feel where I’m at is very negative,  yelling & cursing sometimes & my son been through a lot he is 7, he loses his father, I haven’t been in his life since he was a baby, I don’t know what to do.

I have the energy for nothing. My priorities are so messed up. I wish I can change and be better. I’m tired of fear. I’m tired of worrying. I want to be Happy, Joyful, feel loved & be loved & I also want to practice loving myself more & loving others more. I want to learn to forgive better & not stop talking to me. I don’t want to stay mad at someone even if they did me wrong or don’t realize it. I want to be different. I want to walk by the fruit of the Spirit. I want to change & be a better person to myself & others.

I want to stop being so negative & down on myself.

Shanice

 


Hi Michael,
I am so glad you reached out about your concern. Since you are now a Born Again believer, the Lord will open your eyes to the truth and set your feet on paths that will honor Him. You were born heterosexual, and that is God’s will for you despite your wandering away. I am so glad that you returned. This link below hopefully can give you some encouragement and continue to point you to the Lord.
I would suggest sitting down and talk with your pastor and have him guide you and help you re-fill your life with people that will build you up and point you to Jesus. I am excited that you recently accepted Christ as your Savior. Keep in mind that satan is not happy with your new faith and will shoot firey arrows to discourage you.
Keep your eyes on the Lord, and you will experience the truth like you never have before. I praise God for the change the Holy Spirit has made in you! Keep the faith and keep up the excellent work unto the Lord!

Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.
If what I have shared with you has been of help, please feel free to email me back if you have anything else you would like to share or have any questions.
I pray that you continue to seek God, and you will find Him more clearly in your new life as each day goes by.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Subject: Confusion
Message Body:
I recently accepted Christ as my savior and believed with my heart; he died/rose from the dead for our sins. I also turned away from homosexuality, but I haven’t found happiness being heterosexual, but I don’t know what to do.
Michael

Hi Simone,
It sounds like you are going through a lot of emotional upheavals. I would suggest that you take your worries and anxiety to the Lord in prayer. I would also encourage you to try to be at peace with your parents and honor them the best you can. It almost sounds like you are trying to carry the world on your shoulders, and your shoulders are not meant for that. Let go and let God lead you to what to say and what to do.
Be calm and use the brains that God has blessed you with to do good, not evil. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
There is a scripture I love that I think would help you. Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
I will pray that you can take this situation of your to God in prayer and that He will direct you in what to do and not to do.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to email me back if you have more to say or anything to ask me.
Bill Greguska
Subject: My parents are upset with me for wanting my own apartment
Message Body:
I’m a 29-year-old female. I’ve never lived on my own! I’ve been voicing to my parents that I would like my own apartment now that I can afford it! The object to it, they say it’s not safe, and I should continue living with them! They say I must hate them because I want to move out! Which isn’t true! They asked me to stay until March 2021 because they need help financially. They want me to take a car that they can’t afford anymore and continue paying the rent!
We continue to bump heads always. They want to know my every move and whereabouts. I must check in regularly, I complied with a GPS tracker for a while, but I got frustrated with them calling me constantly, so I stopped it! So long story short, I’ve decided to move before March, and my mother says God will punish me for treating my parents so bad and abandoning them when they are in need! My keys will be ready on the 30th for my apartment. Am I wrong for leaving early? My mother admitted to my sister she would rather see me go once I’m married, which I can’t guarantee anytime soon! I’ve tried to talk to them, and they just yell and scream at me!
Simone

Hi Tom,
I hope you do not get any time. As far as your girlfriend, even though it might not make sense to you, but try to keep in mind and practice what it says in:
Luke 6:28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Also, keep in mind that you and I sin, right? And if we want our sins to be forgiven, we need to forgive others. 
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
I can understand that you have been hurt somehow, but harboring angry thoughts towards her or anyone God looks down at it as sin.
1 John 3:15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
What you are going through, it would greatly benefit you to start praying more and opening up God’s word. Here is a website called BibleGateway.com that can be a big help to you. Just look up keywords that interest you and start learning.
Also, another great website is GotQuestions.org, there you can ask any Biblical questions you may have, and you will get Biblical answers.
I pray that you start walking closer to God, which is the most important thing, and I also pray that you find mercy from the judge. I hope and pray that you are prepared for court, and by God’s grace, He will keep you free by His GRACE.
May God bless you, Tom,
Bill Greguska
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Need a miracle from God!”
I also need prayers that while I’m locked up, if I have to get locked up that God shows this woman how she hurts me every time she says she’s done with me for a week to a couple of months then wants to let me back in her life, it is not fair for her to keep doing that to me because it hurts. She needs to feel how it affects me. Maybe she will stop having flings. I’m not stupid; I know what she is doing, but regardless of whether he needs to experience the hurt it bestows upon me, she will maybe quit doing it.
Hi Tom,
I am very sorry to hear that it sounds like you are going through a lot right now in your life. God can help you cry out to him to save you and get your life on the right path. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
Have you prayed to God about your situation? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Do you have a church you go to? https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/  Do you think you might be concerned about some things that are out of your control. Here is a prayer that can be of help to you at this time.
The Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.
Courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
It is tough for me to give you specific advice for you to do, but in general, I believe that you need to focus on finding and doing God’s will in your life. Just do your best; do not worry about what others do or do not do. You do not have the power to control others, but you do have the power to control yourself.
Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.
I pray that you shovel all your problems and concerns on to the Lord and that you find peace in every one of your circumstances. I pray that the judge is lenient and compassionate in your situation, yet be prepared in your heart that if the judges or your girlfriend do not respond to your liking, I pray that you can accept it.
Be prepared for either scenario and just trust God for the outcome of your situation. I take it that you have a relationship with God and pray daily and read scripture regularly. But if those areas in your life are lacking, I pray that you can concentrate on growing closer to God from this day forward. Keep in mind that we can not control anyone except ourselves.

If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to email me back if you have anything else you wish to say or ask.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Subject: Re: “Need a miracle from God!”
I just need lots of prayers right now. The only person on this planet besides the Lord Jesus Christ is the ONLY person I have, the woman I will ever love the rest of my life (it will be the only promise I will ever be able to keep, most likely). I need prayers that I can have faith in trusting her so we can stop this nonsense. Everything goes back to normal, and I can be there for her having to go through this eye surgery this time.
It goes 1. God, Amy, 3. Link, grace, Jacob, Levi! And then I have nobody else, so because of the mental issues, I have had this horrible time trusting her, and it’s just messed everything up. I believe she still loves me more than she’s admitting right now because she has the right to be upset and hurt still, but it’s been two months. I’m finally home, but I have court Wednesday and could be doing some time, and I’m terrified of losing her to someone else more than anything in this universe. I know she is (whether she admits it or not) is trying to see if I have learned her lesson, but the fact I’m home and other personal reasons, but anyway I have. I. I just need prayers that God shows mercy on me and puts the fire back in her eyes when she looks at me or thinks about me!
Because without her, I give up on life! It’s a proven fact! Anyway, I need prayers from anyone willing to help pray for me to get just that and prayers that the Lord will make that judge have mercy on me and not put me in jail, but I need prayers and prayers that God answers them the way I want and thank you for your time.
Subject: Re: “Need a miracle from God!”
This is my prayer! Please have as many people as possible pray for me.
Hi Tom,
If you have a question or need to talk about something, please feel free to email me back.
In the meantime, check out this link from our website and this scripture below.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Subject: Need a miracle from God!
Message Body:
Can a preacher please text me?
Tom

Hi Sky,
I am glad you decided to reach out. I am so glad you want to do something about this sin of pornography. It would be a shame if you had an addiction to pornography but did not want to stop. Thank God for your willingness to break the chain of addiction.

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
You will need:
  1. Faith in God that He will be able to help you be set free.
  2. Keep praying and asking God for His strength and wisdom.
  3. Trust that the Lord can help you if you are committed to doing what is needed.
  4. Determination to follow God’s will for your life and stay the course even when things get difficult.
  5. An accountability partner to encourage you, keep you accountable and pray for you.
  6. Patience and steadfastness in case it is not as easy as you wish it to be. Keep on trying!
I believe these things are critical to breaking pornography addiction.
Here are a couple of links from my website that can be of help to you too. Check them out.
Sky, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to email me back if you have more to say or have any questions.
I pray that you can find freedom from pornography and that you lean on to God even more now than you have in the past.
May God bless you and guard your steps!
Bill Greguska
Subject: Help
Message Body:
Porn addiction

Hi C
I am glad you contacted us and that you understand that homosexuality is a sin. To answer your question, is it ok for you to have this attraction as long as you don’t act on it? (are you sure it is not just the feeling of friendship that is healthy and natural that you are experiencing, or do you mean lustful passionate desires?)
I will answer that by asking you if a heterosexual would have lustful thoughts or feelings towards a person of the opposite sex, would that be okay just as long as they did not act upon it? In this scripture below, God teaches us that lust in our hearts is like adultery. So it would be fair to say that you would lust after either a woman or a man. That is adultery, which you know is a sin.

It boils down to the question, who do you want to please, God, or your flesh? Does it help to think of it in those terms?
Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
An analogy would be, It is like a moth by a campfire. The closer the moth gets to the fire, the higher the moth’s odds would be consumed. When you pray, ask God, and I am sure that the Holy Spirit will guide you away from the lust you feel.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
You might want to at least start by telling your friends that you are not interested in any type of homosexuality. If that does not help, I will encourage you to change your friends’ circle you are hanging out around.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful and you have another question, please contact us back. There us good new, though, from:
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
You can also visit our page on homosexuality that might be of help to you? https://needencouragement.com/homosexuality/
Keep following the Lord, and He will make know to you what you need to know.
Bill Greguska
Subject: Homosexuality
Message Body:
I have always been attracted to the same gender (girls) for my entire life. I realize that homosexuality is a sin. Is it ok for me to have this attraction as long as I don’t act on it??

Hi Chandra,
The first question I ask people is, “Have you prayed about this?” I am glad you reached out for some advice. I read your email a couple of times, and I take a different approach to this situation. You have not told me detail about why your parents “hate” your husband.
Have you considered having them talk things out and resolve the problem? Most likely, I would have to guess your husband said or did something to offend your parents, and for a good reason, your parents are still offended.
Communication between your husband and your parents would be the way to start things to heal. Would your husband be willing to write them a letter asking your parents forgiveness for whatever he did? You need to get to the root of the problem instead of asking me if it was okay for your husband to sleep in your car.
1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar, and his word is not in us.
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If so, feel free to email me back if you have more to say.
May God direct your path forgiveness and reconciliation seems clearly to be the solution to your problem.
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I am trying to be a better person. To turn my life around and do good things instead of bad. I’m 37 years old. I live with my parents and four daughters. My parents hate my husband and don’t want him around. They always have, for a variety of reasons. Some well-founded, some not. They don’t want him at their home. Recently he was literally homeless and had nowhere else to go. I let him sleep in my car, but on my parent’s property. Was that wrong? I was simply trying to help my husband while living up to my parent’s wishes. I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place and sincerely don’t know what to do. Please help.
Chandra

Hi Sarah,
I think you have this situation under control, just as long as whatever his past was, stays in the past. You can do things better to respect him and be a good partner to him.
I am sure he will not be a perfect husband, but there is no such thing as a perfect husband in the first place. Love and honor him the best you can build him up, and be sure to pray for your husband, for in doing so, he, in turn, will naturally be of more help to you and hopefully love you that much more!
Remember that marriage is not all fun and games. There is work, compromise, forgiveness, trust, longsuffering, all involved in a good marriage. Check out this link. I am sure it will be of help to you!
I added a new video on this page. https://needencouragement.com/better-marriage/
May God bless you and your husband as you seek God more and more each day!

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Bill Greguska
Dear Bill Greguska,
Thank you so much for such a thought out email. I didn’t expect such a wonderful response. I’ve been chewing on it for a couple of days now. There’s so much. I love all the links and verses to look upon each one. It’s been beneficial. Thank you again. 
Sarah Hurd

Good morning Sarah,
I am happy you have reached out for help. Have you taken your marriage to God in prayer? If so, what is God telling you through prayer and scripture what to do?  I tell you the truth that marriage is a beautiful thing… kind of like a rose, but even roses have their thorns.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.
I would suggest taking an inventory of your life and marriage and encourage your husband to do the same. https://needencouragement.com/personal-inventory/ Avoid at all costs the temptation of pointing your finger at him, but rather, try to admit your part in your struggles in hopes that he will understand that it takes two to tango. There MUST be forgiveness in a marriage no matter who is right and who is wrong. There must be a spirit of unity and teamwork. https://needencouragement.com/better-marriage/

Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
You did not say specifically what is going on, but I can only assume that he is not physically harming you or verbally abusing you (and if so, you are not provoking him). Use the relapse that you did with your husband like a restart button, and help each other stay clean. https://needencouragement.com/problems-drugs-caused-me/
You guys have made it a little over one year now, that is fantastic, so you must be doing something right. Try to focus on the good things in your marriage and do not ignore the difficulties, but rather downplay them and talk about those things that are problematic to find solutions. https://needencouragement.com/improve-your-marriage/
As far as learning some disturbing things, did he tell you those things, or did you hear them through the grapevine? Which, you know, does not always mean it is true? Keep in mind that each one of us has things we are ashamed of our past, (don’t you?) think of it that way, and after you find out the truth, there is always room for forgiveness, acceptance, and love. https://needencouragement.com/forgiveness/
Do you guys have an older couple who have a solid marriage to give you some help? There is no need to reinvent the wheel, right? An older couple has gone through their storms in their marriage, so they can be of help to you navigating through your storms. Do not try to solve your marriage problems on your own without asking God for His wisdom and strength.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope that what I have shared will be of help to you, if so and if you need to share more or ask any other questions, feel free to email me back.
In the meantime, I pray that you take all your cares and worries to the Lord in prayer, and you diligently seek His wisdom to help fortify your marriage.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
God bless you and your husband,
Bill Greguska
P.S. Remember that your husband is not your enemy; Satan is…That is why prayer is so important.
Message Body:
I’ve been married a little over a year. We met in recovery and has since relapsed together. I have found some disturbing things out about my husband and need help.
Sahra

Hi Tony,
I am glad that you reached out for help. When you say that you have been doing everything to follow the Lord, what do you mean by that?
As far as not sleeping, have you been drinking caffeinated coffee or soda, or alcohol? (these things can affect your sleep) have you been doing any exercising? Exercise will help you increase the chances of a good night’s sleep. https://needencouragement.com/need-exercise/
When you say that you keep losing your faith, I do not understand what you mean. You either have faith, or you do not. Sure, things can influence how we feel from time to time, and doubts can sneak in. Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
But if you have faith in Jesus Christ, that he came to this world to save you from your sins, and you put your faith in Him, your faith will not fluctuate so greatly, and you will find peace with God in a new way that you might not have hade before…Romans 10:9  If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Then you are saved by faith. If not, then your faith needs to be reevaluated. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
Tony, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, and you would like to tell me more or ask a question, feel free to email me back. In the meantime, I pray that you reach out to God in prayer to help guide you and comfort you in this time of your life and that you grow closer to God.
May God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I need help. I am a weak person; I am doing everything to follow the lord. I do t sleep; I keep losing my faith.
Tony

Hi Tracy,
I am delighted that you realize that the Lord is telling you to have no contact with that man. I know for sure, without a doubt, that is the right answer!
It is time to reach out to God in a more meaningful way and also reach out to your lady friends and, of course, husband. I believe that you know what God wants you to do, and I believe you can do it!
Here is an analogy you may want to consider that may be of help to you. If you had a severe and dangerous infection in your foot, and the doctors all agreed that the only way you could survive is to amputate your foot, I do not think you would like that idea, but you would have not another choice. Then the decision, even though it may be difficult, would be clear for you to make. The same goes for that man. It sounds to me like it was more than a friendship you had with that man. Otherwise, it would not be so difficult for you to break free of him mentally. I pray that you rid the ghost of your former friend and get him out of your mind once and for all.
As far as your depression goes, I think the sooner you get that man out of your mind, the sooner the depression will go away too! Please do not just take your cares to the Lord and jump right back in the driver’s seat. But rather keep the Lord in the driver’s seat, and you submit yourself to Him. I understand and personal experience that if we have any unconfessed sin in our lives, that makes things that much worse for depression. Here is a scripture that I sent you before that I will send to you again. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
May you seek God with your whole heart and turn away from any sin or resemblance of sin in your life. Sin has a way of stealing joy and happiness in our lives.
If what I am sharing with you is helpful, feel free to email me if you have more to say or have any questions.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Thanks for replying, Bill. At this point, when I’m praying, I know the Lord is telling me to have no contact with this man. But my thoughts are consumed with him. I can’t get over this depression and anxiety. I just want to cry. Why won’t God take away these feelings?

Tracy
Hi Tracy,
It is wise that you chose to reach out for help. Although when you pray about this temptation of yours, what do you sense that the Lord is instructing you to do? I would strongly consider following the prompting of the Lord and not lean on your own fleshly desires.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Here is a link that can help you get your marriage back on the right track. It is wise that you are not covering up your feelings, yet you need to focus on God now and get your marriage back. https://needencouragement.com/fix-marriage-problems/
What does God’s word say in the Bible about what you are going through?
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
The best way to avoid temptation is to keep yourself away from this man threatening to weaken you and have you fall into sin and destroy your marriage. You need to avoid him at all costs since he has lit a fire in you that can only be quenched by God through prayer, reading scriptures, and determination to get him out of our life! Anything short of these suggestions, I truly believe you will be flirting with disaster.
Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
God’s work refers to a man who has lust in his heart for a woman, but that also applies to a woman who has a desire in her heart for a man. The lust of sin is something that God wants nothing for us to do with. It sounds like your admittance of struggling implies that you have a lust for this man. You need to flee from this lust, or your marriage will be at risk, I am sure you realize.
Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Something must have recently pulled you away from God. Have you been going to church, reading your Bible, praying to God, fellowshipping with other believers?
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
I pray that you ask God for forgiveness and to flee from this man. I pray that you will run to God for your strength, and He will guard your heart. I fear otherwise if you entertain thoughts about this man, you will be like a moth circling the campfire, and before you know it, you would be consumed by your lust. And like the moth would be burned in the campfire.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

If what I have shared with you has been of help, please feel free to email me back if you have more to share or have any questions.
May you find God’s peace in doing God’s will,
Bill Greguska

Message Body:
I am going through one of the biggest struggles of my life right now.  I have developed feelings for a married man who is not my husband.  I have not committed physical adultery, but I’m struggling with getting this man out of my mind and saving my marriage. My marriage has not been great, and I’ve never been delighted in it, but I made this commitment before God, and I’m trying my best to make it work.  My anxiety levels are so high I can barely function in my daily life.
I have prayed and prayed for the Lord to take the thoughts of him out of my head, but He’s not answering my prayer yet.  I know I have done wrong and have asked the Lord for forgiveness for everything, but I still can not get over these feelings.  Why won’t God take these thoughts away from me?  I’m at my end and don’t know how to go on anymore.
Tracy

Hi Christianah,
I am thrilled you have reached out for help. My first question is, do you believe in God? If so, have you taken your situation to God in prayer? https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
If you do not believe in God or are unsure, I encourage you to know God.
https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
It is hard for me to give you specific advice on what you ought to do, so I will provide you with some general ideas that might or might not be appropriate for you to try.
  1. Before dealing with your father, I would suggest prioritizing trying to get right with God first and foremost.
  2. Then sit down and talk with your father and let him know what you think and feel. If he loves you, he would be willing to listen to you if you respectfully spoke to him.
  3. If the two of you can see things eye to eye, then you are in much better shape.
  4. If you cannot see things eye to eye with him, you might want to avoid conflict with him or consider moving out of his home.
  5. Sometimes the word depression is used pretty freely, but if you think you are depressed, check out https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/.
Here is a page that has information about counseling that might be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/free-christian-counseling/
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please feel free to email me back to let me know more to help you more, hopefully. I will pray that God will open both your heart and your father’s heart, and the two of you can work things out. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
God bless you, and may God give you the wisdom you need, and the love you need to follow through with your father, and your relationship with both God and your earthly father.
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I’m a 23yrs old lady who is really depressed about her family and has been the first child, and it became more weighty on me. I’m perplexed and scared. Having a tough father, l couldn’t voice out. Just here dieing in silence, l have been trying to find a good counselor, but it involves payment, which is a limitation; kindly help a soul.
Christianah

Hi Lydia,
I am glad you have decided to reach out for help. Let me ask you, have you prayed to God about your addiction? If so, what do you hear God telling you to do?
God’s word talks about having a pure heart, and that sex is meant for marriage solely. Yes, God gives us all free will to do what we want to do, but with this freedom comes both consequences or blessings.
1 Corinthians 6:12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything,”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
If you do not have a relationship with God, I suggest to focus on that first, and your addiction will fade away in a matter of time.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Try to find someone that you can help to keep you accountable. Someone like a pastor, good friend, another Christian. You say that you have been fighting the addiction your whole life.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful,  please feel free to email me back if you have more to say or have any questions. I will pray that the Lord opens your eyes and gives you the strength to overcome your addiction one day at a time.
God bless you, and I pray you to seek him in your life more and more each day!
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I need serious help. I’ve been fighting this porn addiction for almost my whole life now, and I’m 18 years old. Pls, help me. pls Lydia
Question:
I am a 27 yr old mother of 2 beautiful and smart daughters, but I am also a hard struggling addict. I use to be happy, and I could hear the lord when he spoke to me as anything I asked of him would almost manifest itself. He answered my prayers so quickly. I love him and respectfully fear him, but I am afraid he’s given up on me. After relapsing every other day, I tell myself I’m going to quit. I feel hopeless for telling myself right before I stick the devil’s sword in me, ” Lord, please forgive me again, I’m so sorry, I’m sick, and I need you!”
Can someone help me before I lose everything I love, or does everything I love lose me? There are not many rehabs in Louisiana, much fewer ones that let your children come, plus my husband doesn’t know my addiction goes this deep. Please help! Thank you, and bless you if you can help someone as hopeless as me who seems to love their sin more than God our Father, but I won’t let the devil take me that far. I still and will forever love my Father!!!
Response:
Dear Friend,
Thank you for reaching out to us. You have had enough of your addiction. My first suggestion that I give to everyone is to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray.
I, too, had an addiction to alcohol and drugs when I was younger, I quit using when I was 26 years old, and it was one of the wisest and the best thing I could do for myself with God’s help. You can stop with God’s help too. (No, God did not turn His back on you, you turned your back on Him, but He will take you back like the prodigal son, or in your case, prodigal daughter) He took me back!
It does not sound like you are attending a church right now, but a church with good fellowship could be just what you need at this time. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Do you have anyone who can keep you accountable? NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
You have two options right now.
  1. You can continue in your addiction and keep sinking lower and lower, harm your daughters with your addiction, and ultimately divorce.
  2. Or you can get sincere and transparent and reach out for help so that you can find the joy that you so deeply miss.
Just the fact that you have reached out today tells me that you want help.
  1. Get on your knees and pray to God to remove your addiction.
  2. Level with your husband to let him know that you are struggling. If he is any kind of good man, he will want to help you!
  3. Stop seeing whoever is supplying your addiction.
  4. Get rid of any drugs or alcohol in your home.
  5. Get a counselor and or an accountability partner to help keep you on the straight and narrow.
I think these links might be of help to you:
I will be praying that God heals you from your addiction and that the suggestions I have shared with you will help you. Keep I mind that God can take this addiction from you if you hand it over to Him and not keep taking it back.
1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
If you need to talk to a trained Christian counselor, you can call 800-633-3446
May God bless you and show you the way out of your addiction.
Bill Greguska
Continued
Thank you so much, Mr. Bill, I will continue praying and having faith in the lord, and I will also read the links you sent. You can tell you yourself actually replied to me, and I thank you for taking the time out to lend a helping hand. Nobody really knows what one kind word can do for someone. May God continue to bless you. Thanks so much!
Continued
Good Morning,
You are very welcome. Now commit yourself to get back on the right track. DO NOT think you can do it in your power because you can not; you need God’s help and the help of those people that God puts in your life to help you. It would help if you were very serious about this because, unfortunately, a half-hearted effort will not accomplish your desired goal.
I will pray that you make it the rest of the week without using it, then after accomplishing that, keep on moving forward. You can do it with God’s help. Believe me, I did. With God, all things are possible!
Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
P.S. I see you are up late at night sending this email, so try to get back on a regular sleeping, eating pattern that will help you too. I say this because I care, and you need your strength and health if you want to get clean!
Subject: email list
Message Body
Please add me to your encouragement message email list.  Thank you
Hi Sarah,
You have just been added to our mailing list. We usually send out between 1-2 emails per week.
We are sure you will like the encouragement. Feel free to share our site with others you know on Facebook and your email list.
Take care, and God bless you!
Bill Greguska
Question:
I have a difficult situation. My brother James died in May. Mom had a stroke that day and died in June. I had probate court, cremations, memorials, then clearing and shelling mom’s house (the family home), getting a new place, then my husband filed for divorce because I spend too much time in Ohio (we had been living in England). Now that I have cleared out of our English home, I can finally relax, and it is hitting me hard every morning.
Response:
Hi Michelle,
I am sorry to hear that you have been in a storm time in your life. It makes it hard when many things happen relatively at the same time. It is wise that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are going through some grieving, and you need to be patient with yourself.  NeedEncouragement.com/grief
If you believe in the Lord, you can take refuge in him during these hard times that you went through, and thank Him for his faithfulness to see you through.
I would do the first thing to pray to God about all that you have gone through and thank Him and ask Him for wisdom on what to do now. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I have been through some difficult times in my life, and I have found that prayer, fellowship with other believers, taking care of my health, exercise, eating correctly, and being with good friends and family members for support.
One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.
I hope and pray that what I shared will be of help to you, and I pray that you find healing and hope in Jesus Christ and your faith will grow because of all that you have been through.
Feel free to call 800-633-3446
May God bless you and keep you safe as you walk with Him,
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hello. May I please chat with someone online?
Response:
Hi Sana,
To get right to your question about wanting to chat with someone, you can visit NeedEncouragement.com/chat.
It is apparent to anyone that life can be very complicated at times, but whatever you are going through, keep in mind that others like myself have gone through similar situations and have made been able to make it through.
I wanted to die two times in my life, once when I was in high school with all the school pressures and problems because of drugs and alcohol. The second time was when my wife left me, and all it seemed I could think about was wishing that the pain would end in both circumstances. I am thankful that I reached out for help like you are doing. You are going to be okay.
A couple of questions for you to think about to get you started on the right path:
  1. Are you praying to God at all? Have you asked God to forgive you for everything you have done wrong? 1 John 1:8-9
  2. Are you getting enough sleep at night, 7-8 hours each night?
  3. Are you eating healthy?
  4. Are you getting any exercise?
  5. Are you avoiding alcohol and drugs?
The first thing I always suggest to anyone who contacts me, it to pray about your situation. Ask God what you need to do.
It says in James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
If you are not familiar with praying, check out NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray.
If you do not have a pastor, I encourage you to go to your pastor at your church and go to NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.
Whatever you are going through right now, I am not minimizing how badly you feel about it, so please trust me when I tell you.
Matthew 19:26  Jesus looked at them and said, “With man, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
God knows your pain, so how about doing what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
May God bless you and keep you safe in His presence. I feel your pain, and I will pray that my advice to you will help you!
Bill Greguska

Question:
My husband and I are Christians. He moved out on Dec 12, and we have been in communication a little but only via text. Tonight he texted and said he was driving by and wanted to know if I wanted to be intimate with him. After spending 2 hours before telling me, I’m not a godly wife.
Response:
Hi Kandy,
I am glad you have reached out for some help.
  1. What does your pastor say about your husband moving out?
  2. Are you talking about getting some counseling soon?
  3. What is stopping the two of you from forgiving one another?
It sure sounds like some type of broken communication and or misinterpreting what each of you has said without clearly understanding each other. Of course, you understand that leads to hurt feelings, which leads to angry feelings, which leads to feelings of revenge and bitterness, and attitudes of I am right, and you are wrong that is inevitable.
I strongly suggest each of you, at least you, for now, take an inventory of your heart to God, and confess all that you have done, said, or thought of to your husband. Hopefully, he can do the same, but in the meantime, you take care of your business with God.
Next time the two of you talk, try to repeat what he just said so that you understood exactly what he meant? (for example, when you thought he said you were an ungodly wife, possibly he might have intended to say that something you said or did was not godly, which could be a possibility since we are all sinners, right? None of us are perfect, and we have all fallen short of God’s glory)
My point is that if you backtrack to the point of why your husband left or was asked to leave, you will find a trail of unhealthy communication all along the road — each incident which leads to hurt feeling, angry feeling, feeling of revenge, and bitterness pulls you further apart and is not pleasing to God.
You need to let go of the past and start to rebuild. If not, you will be divorced before you know it. If you want your marriage to last, you need to take charge and do something about it. Forgiveness is a part of this equation.
Without knowing more about what is going on between the two of you. Seeing things through the eyes of a man, either this might be how he is trying to tell you that he still loves you. Or it could be a selfish, self-seeking idea on his part, and I have no way of judging his intentions.
But, if you want your marriage to stay alive, you need to be open to communication and spending time with each other, unless it is not a safe situation for you to be in.
If I were you, I would welcome him over, but you need to do some talking and soul searching openly with each other before you got intimate.
Maybe he is thinking that he made a mistake by moving out. The Bible does talk about not withholding sexuality from each other unless you both agree that it would be appropriate for a short time. So bottom line, I definitely would entertain the idea for you to be intimate with your husband unless you are in fear of him.
I pray that you will be open to mending your bridges quickly because if not, your marriage will be in jeopardy!!!
Here are a couple of links that might be of help to you.
  1. needencouragement.com/how-to-forgive
  2. NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage
  3. NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
Here is some homework for you to do this week:
  1. Pray for your husband each morning and evening and during the day when you can.
  2. Pray to God to soften both of your hearts.
  3. Confess to God (and your husband also) anything you have done that needs to be forgiven.
  4. Be willing to forgive whatever your husband has said or done to you. (if we do not forgive others, our Father in heaven will not forgive us)
  5. Write a letter to your husband to tell him you are sorry for upsetting him and that you forgive him for upsetting you.
This is a lot for you to do. You can either work hard to keep your marriage alive, focus not on what he did to you or say to you, but instead, focus on how you will get him to want to come back to live with you.
You have a chance right now to save your marriage. If you procrastinate much longer and refuse to go to God for help, you will find yourself divorced and very miserable for several years.
Believe me. I have been through what you are going through. I fought the good fight. I did not give up on my marriage, yet my ex got weak and gave up.
I am asking you to be strong and not give up. Do whatever it takes to stay married. Divorce is excruciating and leaves scars. Take the high road like I did, so that even if your marriage does not work (which we hope it starts to mend right away), you will know in your heart of hearts that you did all you could do to keep your marriage vows. You can not control your husband, but you can pray for him!!!
Bill Greguska

Question:
Hi, I really need advice on this relationship I am in. I am a Christian, I believe in Jesus, and I want to know what God is saying is best for my life. I need some advice on my relationship, please.
Response:
Hi Pteris,
You have not given me much to advise you on, but I can tell you one thing for sure: you ought to pray about it and ask God for wisdom. It says in James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope that what I shared can be an excellent start to resolve things in your relationship.
Bill Greguska

Question:
Counseling question, I live in Sydney, Australia. Do you offer free Christian counseling?
Response:
Hi Vicki,
Free Christian counseling is based in the United States, yet you can chat with someone on the internet and phone. NeedEncouragement.com/chat or, you can call 800-633-3446 and talk with someone. https://chataboutjesus.com
Also, we have these Question/Response pages, that we share our responses to emails that we get.
Keep in mind the best counsel is that from Jesus Christ via prayer! NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
What about talking with a close friend or pastor at your church? If you are not attending a church right now, you would be wise to look into finding one. I have a tool to find a church, but it might only be in the US, but it is worth looking into.
I hope what I have shared is helpful to you.
Proverbs 15:22  Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.
God bless you, and may He keep you near to Him daily!
Bill Greguska

Question:
I have a bunch of trauma throughout my life. My faith in God keeps me going, but my anxiety and depression always get the rest of me can afford to counsel; I just need somebody to talk to for support.
Response:
Hi Ashley,
I am glad you are reaching out for help, although I suggest that you find a church with some church fellowship that would meet your needs. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I strongly suggest that you start praying about your concerns to God, and He will start to show you the way you ought to go. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Here are two links that will address a couple of your concerns.
  1. NeedEncouragement.com/anxiety
  2. NeedEncouragement.com/depression
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who can help you, or you can chat at NeedEncouragement.com/chat.
Philippians 4:6  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
I hope that what I have shared with you will be something that will help you in your situation! Having a church to give you support and encouragement is very important. Keep praying and keep close to God, and I pray that God puts some special people in your life to help to continue to point you to Jesus.
Bill Greguska

Question:
How does one go about forgiving someone toxic but doesn’t wish to be around that person anymore? There is no love, honesty, or respect in this relationship.  A family member has chosen to judge my children and me. She has made it known her judgments.  I can forgive her, but I don’t know if I can be around her or expose my children to her as she is not in a place of reconciliation.
She has told me she wants to move forward but has warned me that she will still be sarcastic with me and that I need to thicken my skin. It would be great to move on, as this has robbed me of so much time emotionally. You know, I have read all kinds of things on forgiveness, and I think I’m at a place to forgive. Realizing that she has some issues with grief (from a death in the family) and has taken it out on my children and me. I do have compassion for her and feel sorry for her that she is in a bad place.  However, I don’t want to expose myself to her. Does that mean I’m not forgiving?
Response:
Hi Ellie,
What you have shared reminds me of a scripture from Romans 12:18 “As far as possible as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I just shared that scripture with my grandson the other day because I know how important it is to be at peace with others.
Maybe taking a break from being around your family member for a while might defuse the emotions that seem to be flying freely.
You may limit your contact just to text messages, so she doesn’t think you are running from her. Assure her that you are trying to figure out how to resolve things.
Before you do anything, though, take this situation to God in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
He will give you wisdom on how to deal with your family members and protect your children at the same time. If you can think of something that you need to apologize to her for your part in anything to start the healing process, find out what she is upset about specifically or what you do wrong in her eyes specifically?
Admitting your part would most likely defuse the situation. Humbly apologize for any harsh words or anything like you will discover the love in her heart covering up by pain and anger begin to resurface in a good way again.
When we forgive someone, that does not mean we totally forget what they have said or done, but it does put it in the past where it belongs. Then you can proceed to allow the other person to build trust back into the relationship.
God’s word says in Matthew 6:15, But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. That scripture alone was enough for me to realize how important forgiveness is.
I will pray for you, and I hope that what I have shared will help your situation!
Bill Greguska

Question:
Hi Good evening,
My name is Blessing, and I am 23 years old. I am confused. I am dating a guy who has a 1-year-old child. He says he and his baby’s mother doesn’t see things the same way anymore, and they had broken up before she found out she was pregnant, so they decided to keep the baby. Still, they aren’t dating anymore. Even their families are aware of it. I met him a month before the baby was born.
Am I wrong for dating him as a Christian? My family doesn’t want us together because he has a child, but I feel no one in this world isn’t guiltless, so it isn’t a barrier as long as we plan for a better future.
I don’t know what to do about my family and make them understand that so far we are happy and I have never been this happy with anyone like him; with him, I don’t have to pretend to be something else, I can confide in him, and he assists me however way he can. Plus opportunity they say to come, but once I don’t want to make a mistake to let him go without giving him the benefit of the doubt that he means well for me.
He proposed that we move in together since we stay in the same city and rent to save costs together. What do I do? Am confused. I do love him.
Please help me,
Blessing
Response:
Hi Blessing,
It is quite apparent that you feel torn in two directions, what your brain is thinking and what your emotions are feeling. I am sorry that this is hard for you to decide. I will give you my opinion and share what God’s word says. My first thought is that you need to start praying about the situation that you are in. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Without knowing more details, it sounds like you are not wrong to want to date your boyfriend, but your parents, who see things more objectively, are counseling you not to.
You are entertaining the idea of moving in with him, which increases the probability of breaking up or getting married to be divorced. (living together increase the odds for divorce)
Then try to put your emotions to the side for a minute and look at it from the baby’s perspective.
1. What does God want you to do in this situation?
2. Are you willing to have a baby that is not yours in your life, having to share responsibilities with the mother every other week, if that?
3. Do you get along with the mother?
4. How does your boyfriend treat you in general?
5. How does your boyfriend talk about his baby and the baby’s mother?
You have only been dating less than a year, and it sounds like you are putting your life on hold for him.
If you are having sex with him, my suggestion would be to abstain from sex until he would marry you.
Interestingly, I have done something similar to what you are involved in. Years ago, I dated my daughter’s mother, got her pregnant, she broke up with me. Life was chaotic.
I am not telling you what to do. You will have to decide for yourself. Re-read what I wrote and think clearly about the questions I asked and comments I made.
But the one thing I will firmly tell you is to NOT move in with him, especially since you are a Christian. Even if you were not a Christian, I would not suggest moving in together.
I will be praying for clarity in your decision. Remember, whatever you decide will make affect your life positively or negatively down the road.
Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Bill Greguska
I hope that what I have shared helps give you some food to make a wise choice!

Question:
Sometimes I feel like giving up on life. I’m too stressed out. I messed up in my relationship. I feel like nothing is going well for me. Please, Please, Please help!
Casey
Response:
Hi Casey,
There is an expression I would like to share with you that says, “If you keep on doing the same things, you are bound to get the same results.”
  • Are you getting enough sleep? Exercise? Eating healthy?
  • Do you pray about things like your relationship? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
  • Do you have a close relationship with God?
  • Do you tend to say yes to things when you ought to say no?
If you believe your relationship has potential and you are willing to put effort into it, that sounds like a good plan, but if your relationship is a toxic one, maybe it is time to move on if you have done all you can do make it healthy.
I would suggest thinking about my comments, and if you need more help, you can call 800-633-3446 or chat with someone at NeedEncouragement.com/chat.
Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged; for the Lord, your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I pray that what I have shared will be of help to you! Remember to keep praying!
Bill Greguska

Question:
Hello,  I have struggled with alcohol for many years.  It would be great if you could point me to find a person that could talk with me and encourage me.
I love the Lord and have been a Christian my whole life. I have a great desire to be a good wife and mom.  I am ready to be free of this. – Rochelle
Response:
Hi Rochelle,
I am delighted that you are ready! I would suggest that you pray about your situation and ask the Lord for His help. Besides God, there is no magic wand to rid yourself of your alcohol problem. If there were, I would tell you, and I would have used it myself!
Without going into treatment, I would strongly suggest considering the following suggestion that has helped me in my recovery. Figure out what makes sense to you and what you think would work. Decide what you will try, and then give it all you have, trusting that God will help you!
  1. Pray and keep praying each day
  2. Get back into your Bible
  3. Start writing a journal
  4. Find yourself a good church if you do not have one already.
  5. Rally the troops to help you. Your pastor, best friend, parents, husband, etc.
  6. Get honest with your husband about your drinking and ask for his help.
  7. Put a picture of your children in your bathroom mirror to remind you to stay sober.
  8. Replace drinking for some other activity
  9. Find an accountability partner
  10. Find a counselor
  11. Fill your mind with whatever is good, true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, or praiseworthy. Think about such things.
  12. Reward yourself when you have gone three days without drinking (ice cream, etc.)
  13. Reevaluate your diet
  14. Get proper sleep
  15. Get exercise each week
  16. Drink more water
  17. Chew gum
  18. Stay out of bars
  19. Get all alcohol out of your house.
  20. Avoid all people you have drank with without exception.
  21. Consider going to AA or NA meetings.
  22. Call 800-633-3446
  23. Visit NeedEncouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs
  24. Visit NeedEncouragement.com/my-drug-and-alcohol-problem
  25. Visit NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
Rochelle, just to inform you. You are in a battle. In other words, you need to know your weapons (God’s word, prayer, fellowship, and the list I made you above ). You need to know your enemy (devil) who is out to kill, steal, and destroy your life.
It would help if you were in this effort 100% because any half effort will not be enough to have victory through my experience. I played games with alcohol and drugs for ten until I got sober and sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Give God a try and the suggestions I have shared with you for 60 days, and you will see for yourself that there are hope and victory just around the corner! I have been clean and sober since June 25, 1986, and if I could do it with God’s help, you can too! I am 58 years old, and I do not miss drinking one bit! God even helped me quit smoking on January 10, 1988. All I know is that God loves us and that God is good!
May God bless you and give you the strength you need. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!
Bill Greguska

Question:
I need advice in a current relationship. I have a complicated relationship, and I need the advice to confront it, and I want to know what to do.  It is complicated to explain through text.  We were living together with plans of getting married, but now we separated. I believe The Lord wanted us to separate to make this right, but now it’s just hurt because she lives in another state. Marco
Response:
Hi Marco,
Your relationship with your girlfriend, I can understand, is essential to you, and I think the time away from each other can be a good thing for the two of you to clear your minds and get a better perspective.
I hope you guys can talk problems out so you can get beyond the challenges to the solutions.
You are saying that you want to marry your girlfriend. You need to ask yourself some questions, like, are her goals in life similar to yours? Are you both believers in Jesus Christ? NeedEncouragement.com/get-right-with-god
Are your values compatible? How long have you been dating? I would hope at least one year because anyone can put their best foot forward for six months or nine months or even more than a year without any clue that there are any problems.
These are some of the reasons that the divorce rate is so very high. NeedEncouragement.com/divorce Another question for you is, “How is your relationship with God?” Without an understanding of God’s will, you will have problems maintaining a relationship with your girlfriend.
Suppose you are serious about your relationship with your girlfriend and she seems interested too. In that case, you might want to step back and determine how realistic your relationship is and if you are compatible enough to get married. If I were you, I would take my time and carefully evaluate things and, in the meantime, keep in touch with her via text messages and phone calls.
I pray that the advice I have given you will be of help to you. Keep praying and seek God for your answers.
If you want to talk with someone that can help, you can call 800-633-3446 or chat at NeedEncouragement.com/chat.
Bill Greguska

Question
This person requested that I did not share her question or what she wrote about concerning a situation with the suicide of her friend, which is very understandable and personal. So I will only share what I have suggested to her to do while keeping her anonymity.
Response
Hi Anonymous,
First of all, I am sure it helped you already by writing this out. Whenever I put my thoughts on paper, it puts them into perspective. Also, I assure you that I will keep what you have shared private and not put it on the internet.
Of course, grief is appropriate when someone you have known has taken their life. My former pastor told me once a long time ago that grief is so essential, yet there is a time when grief needs to be let go of. It has been about six months now for you, and I am thinking that depending on how much pain you are still experiencing, I think you would do well to seek some counsel for at least a short time. I do not know all your details, but after six months, you should be experiencing much healing and life returning to so-called normal, but who am I to say, because God created us all different.
Here are a couple of questions I would like to ask you that I hope will help.
  1. Do you have someone from your church or the pastor able to talk with you one on one at least for a few times, or even more if necessary?
  2. Have you been praying about this situation specifically?
  3. Are you taking care of your health, eating correctly, sleeping 7-8 hours a night, getting some exercise, avoiding alcohol and drugs?
  4. Did you do all you could do to help this young woman?
  5. Did you do anything to make her situation worse?
  6. Are you keeping yourself busy so you do not have too much time to dwell on negative things?
  7. If you still feel bad, ask yourself “why” I do not see anything you did wrong. In your head, the devil is trying to steal, kill, and destroy you mentally. Do not fall for the lies of Satan. Cling to God and resist the devil.
It would be easy for me to say that you ought not to worry about this woman’s suicide. You had nothing to do with it. Your compassion seems to have gotten out of balance. Real it back in and continue with your artwork and teaching, and get more involved with your relationship with God. Daily reading your Bible in the morning, memorize some important scriptures, do some journaling, and have fellowship with your Christian friends.
Yes, having to deal with what you did, is without a doubt, very difficult. But with God, all things are possible. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
I hope this has been of help to you. Please contact 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 800-633-3446
Or you can chat through a link from NeedEncouragement.com/chat.
Grace, I pray that you find the peace that God intends for you to have. Trust in him, and he will show you the way. Remember that when you encourage someone (even though you have your own burdens), the encouragement you give to others will encourage you. Trust me. It does work that way!!!
If you still need more help, keep praying, keep reading your Bible, keep going to church, keep fellowship with other believers, and if you still need more help, I suggest that you check out a Christian Life Coach that I think highly of, you can watch her videos for free, but she does charge a reasonable price for the counseling.
Her name is Kris Reese. You can find her at https://needencouragement.com/christian-life-coach/.
God bless you and keep you safe,
Bill Greguska

Question:
Please pray for my husband. He does not love or wants me anymore. Maybe pray for me because I’m the one that can’t get through the pain. We’ve been married for 45 years.
Response:
Hi Peggy,
I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I can only imagine the pain you are going through after 45 years of marriage. My first thought would be to suggest that you do not give up without knowing more details but rather give this over to God in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I was married for almost ten years, and my wife moved out and divorced me two years later, so I understand to a degree what you are going through. NeedEncouragement.com/chat, or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who is a trained volunteer Christian counselor.
Have you sought after marriage counseling? If I were you, I would do all you can to keep peace and keep your marriage intact. NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
The pain of a suffering marriage can be great, yet I did not divorce my ex because I felt that what God put together let no one pull apart. That was a consolation that I received for being faithful, even though my marriage was dissolved. Keep in mind that the pain of divorce can be as great or even greater in some cases.
You need to tap into your resources of the friendships you have that can offer you some support. Even if your husband does not want to get counsel, I suggest that you go alone to get professional help. In the meantime, continue to pray and lean on your church and support system to get you through this.
If you could go to your husband and tell him that you are sorry and apologize for anything you have done, this might soften his heart and make him look at his part in the marriage problems. (not that you are admitting things were your fault, but opening the door for forgiveness.needencouragement.com/forgiveness.
Take things one day at a time and trust that God still has a plan for you and your marriage, even though it seems your husband’s heart has hardened a little, but you do not be the one who pursues a divorce. Let it be him if need be, and your conscience will not be as much of a hindrance to you if worse came to worse.
Be strong not to argue with him, but rather show him love with your words and action. In the meantime, keep up things in your life the best you can, your diet, get regular 7-8 hours sleep, exercise, friendships, etc. I pray that whatever got into your husband to so-called not love you anymore, will leave him, and he will come to his senses.
Guard your heart and do not give in to negative thinking. Do what you can do to win him back since he is in some type of fog. If he comes back to loving you, that will be great. If not, at least you did all you could do to keep the marriage alive!
I pray for your marriage and peace in your heart. Trust God, and He will sustain you!
Remember that God loves you, and He will always love you! Keep following the Lord.
Bill Greguska

Question:
I would much like to ask for advice on the situation that I am in.
My boyfriend of three years (James) has become increasingly “emotionally numb”  since I moved across the country to him in Northern Virginia six months ago.  I love my job at a private high school and am very involved with friends, even though my experience being near James’ family has been painful.  We met in college and came from very similar backgrounds (both from families of 8/both faithfully Catholic, etc.). Tension has steadily increased in our relationship since my relocation to where he and his family live.  James and I love each other very much, and we both desire to “work things out.”  Here is why I am reaching out to you:
James’ mother has never had a conversation with me, avoids me, and acts rude and uncomfortable whenever I have been in her presence.  His father is quite silent on the matter and tends to be very risk-averse, but separately supports and encourages James.  She (Diane) has only discouraged James in our relationship, and she feels betrayed, rejected, and “left” since he has been in a serious relationship.  She has told him that “he doesn’t know what he is doing” and that “she knows women and her judgment should be trusted.” 
James is her oldest son, and she will admit that she knows that she has a problem and that she tries to change but doesn’t know-how.  (At this point, I do not think it is likely that she will change.)  James lives at home, and I had seen strong enmeshment indicators within his family since the beginning of our relationship three years ago. 
For example, Diane has kindly told James that he could bring me home if he wants, but she will leave the house to bring me over.  James seems to see this as a sacrificial act of his mother and “the best that she can do right now.”  Or, he will ask me not to come to events where his family is present because he “does not want to deal with it.”  The enmeshment is subtle, and they all act very kindly to each other.  He has admitted that he feels guilty when he is with me and not with this family or has not recently spent enough time with them.  I have been watching him live a double life and believing that he can make this work.
I truly am not a part of his family life or his home… Our relationship leads to a separate compartment of his life, in the same city.  He believes that I have been the “cause” of his increased unhappiness and “emotional numbness” because I am the only thing that has changed in his day to day this past year, causing his disjointed experience.  How I see it:  James is trying to do the impossible by leading a double life, where I, the woman he loves and wants to be with, am separate from his family life.  His family’s space and independence have not seemed to be established, even though he is now a successful adult. 
It’s an impossible balancing act, where there is no way for him to make everyone happy.  In this scenario, I see him believing that he should be happy because he believes he is “doing the right thing” to please everyone.  I believe that he is very fearful to “leave his family” and doesn’t know how to take the steps.  Due to that, I believe he will never have a happy and healthy relationship and family with me or any other woman.  I do not believe that he is an individual independent adult emotionally.  So, all parties have recognized that there is a problem, and my main concern is that James has projected this “problem” or enmeshment onto me.
How can I help this man that I love to start seeing the bigger picture here? How can I love and support him best through this journey?
Response:
Hi Moira,
Answering your questions from a man’s point of view, I think you need just to plan a time to sit down and the two of you talk. Ask him the questions yourself. How can I help this man? I love to start seeing the bigger picture here? How can I love and support him best through this journey?
Here are a few questions to help you think about why your boyfriend’s mother is avoiding you and why things might be affecting your relationship with your boyfriend?
  1. Have you thought about praying about this situation and reflected on your part of this problem with your boyfriend’s mom and your boyfriend?
  2. Have you any idea why his mother is keeping her distance from you?
  3. Have you said or done anything to offend her?
  4. Does she object that you are dating her son?
  5. Does she have a problem with your personality or values?
  6. Are you and James living together? That could be a problem in her eyes if she is a Christian.
  7. Did you ever think about asking her why she is avoiding you? Or do you think you already know and are not willing to respect her wishes?
  8. What has your boyfriend told you when you ask him about his mom?
  9. Has she always been this way?
  10. When you say you are working things out, what does work things out mean to you?
  11. When Diane admitted she has a problem, what did she say her problem was? Does she want help with her problem?
I read your email over a few times, and the only real solid suggestion to you would be to sit down, and the two of you, Diane and you, or the three of you, sit down for an hour to start to talk things out.
I asked you the above questions because I thought it would help you reflect on what is going on and help give you some insights into your problem. I honestly do not have much to offer you in terms of a solution, except that the two of you (you and Diane) and also (you and James), then together the two of you sit down and talk with Diane to hopefully resolve things out or at least come to some agreements after airing things out in the open.
Bill Greguska

Question:
I need to be able to talk to someone that will listen and give me help. Roger
Response:
Hi Roger,
NeedEncouragement.com is set up primarily for the internet only.
My first suggestion to you would be to pray to God about your marriage, anger, and how to love yourself. After doing that, I suggest that you call 800-633-3446 and talk to someone there, or you can chat by going to NeedEncouragement.com/chat and following the link to chat.
Sometimes people overlook things such as:
  1. Getting enough sleep.
  2. A healthy diet.
  3. Getting some regular exercise.
  4. Avoiding stress by not overcommitting your schedule.
  5. Unconfessed sin.
  6. Make sure you have a regular prayer life. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I hope these suggestions help you. Keep looking to the Lord, for He has the answers!
Bill Greguska

Question:
Tonight my husband and I were knocked down.  We discovered that our 14-year-old daughter has been smoking weed, sneaking around, and now she has claimed that she thinks she is bisexual.  Then I found out that my 23-year-old daughter told her that she is.  Lord, I don’t know what to do.  My heart is breaking, and I don’t know what way to turn.  Please pray for my husband and me.
Response:
Hi Janice,
It is very wise that you are reaching out and asking for prayer. I encourage you to continue to do this because prayer is your best line of approach. Have you spoken to your pastor about this yet? Ensure that you and your husband are on the same page when dealing with our daughter(s).
I will pray that these thoughts and actions of your 14-year-old daughter are just passing whims she is going through. If you have a close enough relationship with her, I would suggest trying to sit down and hear her side of the story and explain that God created man and woman to be together. Explain that God has given her free will, yet she does not have the freedom to the consequences of her actions and disobedience with that free will. 
Ask your 14-year-old some questions to open discussion. Putting up walls and anger will not be beneficial at this point. For example, with marijuana, peer pressure is very significant, not to mention the impact of marijuana or other drugs and alcohol.
You need to love her and set up some boundaries that she ought not to cross without consequences. She lives in your home and needs to follow the rules like not breaking the civil laws such as smoking marijuana.
Or spiritual laws God has implemented, such as having to do with homosexuality.
Our culture’s youth has elevated things like marijuana, bisexuality, homosexuality, and young people who are curious and searching for their own form of truth. Pray for both of your girls, and pray for wisdom for yourselves too. Sin comes in many different, and God hates all sin. Try to be patient and understanding with both of your daughters.
.
Do not allow this to turn into a shouting match; keep calm in the spirit, and speak the truth in love. After that, at some point, your hands are going to be tied, and your daughter will make up her own mind. Be sure to continue to love her no matter what she chooses. She needs to know that you love her unconditionally even if she makes the wrong choices in life. I am sure you did not grow up without giving your parents any heartbreaking news either.
Keep praying for both your daughters, and love them as God would love them. Put your daughter in an open palm to the Lord and allow Him to work in her heart and her mind. Do not panic; just lean on God a little harder!
May God bless you and make you and your husband stronger during this time as you put your trust and hope in Him.
Bill Greguska

Question:
My fiance and I are struggling with the idea of sex “outside of marriage.” We firmly believe that Jesus looks to the heart of His people. And if our hearts have made the marriage covenant, they are “married” despite not having an official ceremony. Therefore, sex during engagement is acceptable. Thoughts?
Response:
Hi Elaina,
I am glad you have reached out and asked for advice. First of all, you are not alone. This temptation is common to all couples to some degree or another, but what you do with this temptation will affect your future. You say that you are engaged to be married, then why don’t you wait until you get married?
Dating should be a long-term situation to get to know one another, and engagement should be a short-term situation after fully getting to know each other. I assume you are planning to be married in spring. In that case, wait approximately 150 days or less and start your marriage off on the right foot. Have you brought this concern of yours to God? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
There are more factors to consider. Do you guys attend church together? If so, what do you think your pastor would say about you wanting to have sex before marriage? Have you guys gone through marital counseling already? Has either one of you been divorced in the past? Are you living together?
With the extremely high divorce rate in the United States, you need to go into all of this with both of your eyes open and not be swept away emotionally with the carrot of sex driving your decisions. Divorce is excruciating, something to be avoided at ALL costs! I know what I am saying because I have been divorced. 
My thoughts are in agreement with God’s thoughts. So, if you want a straight answer to your question, it would be no not to have sex before marriage. For more information, read on.
Yes, Jesus looks at our hearts, but that does not mean he closes His eyes to things that He has established in His teaching. Do you feel you know him long enough and good enough and trust him enough to be committed to you in all areas of life and visa versa? If so, then you guys ought to talk about getting married sooner. If he wants to have sex before you guys are even married, what would stop him from having sex with someone else once you did get married? Living your life to honor God with integrity and honesty are so important.
You have mentioned, “We firmly believe that Jesus looks to the heart of His people.” The question I ask you is, “Is your heart wanting to please God or your own flesh?” I think you know the answer to your own question, and I can not or will not or will not give you counsel to go against God’s word. God has given you both a free will to do what you want, but you do not have the freedom to choose the consequences.
You did not mention if both of you are actively practicing your Christian faith or not. If not, that would be even more important to consider than anything else right now before you get married.
I am sorry that I could not condone your desire to have sex before marriage with your fiance. But I am sure if you bring this to God in prayer, He will give you the strength to be strong and start your marriage off the right way. 
I pray that you seek God’s word more clearly and follow His will, not our own will. (you recall what happened in the garden when Adam and Eve did what was right in their own eyes instead of obeying God.)
Bill Greguska
Question:
I am interested in free Christian counseling if you still have it available.
Response:
Good morning Kerry,
Yes, there still is free Christian counseling available on the website. My apology that when you went to NeedEncouragement.com/free-christian-counseling, I am sorry that I did not have it more clear for you to be able to see how to get “Free Chrisitan Counseling.”
Thanks for pointing that out to me. I went to the back end of the site and fixed that for you and others too. Now you will be able to see more clearly. I hope this helps, and counseling helps also.
Keep in mind that prayer needs to be involved each day, asking God to direct you and show you how. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Bill Greguska

Question:
I struggle day and day with emotional doubts in myself. These doubts keep killing me with the past’s dark emotional feelings, like a shame that keeps me from being me. It’s just a tough thing to deal with. As I been looking for an answer, I came across this person on youtube who said that in doubt, I should trust in God, which is Biblically correct also. Still, I just want advice on trusting God and having better relationships because now I know that God wants a greater revelation for me.
So that’s what I need advice on which I’m going to be praying a lot because its all started with doubts for a whole year now, and it has taken so much from my life, and all God wanted to do is to help me and love me, but I just kept. Listening to the dark feeling of depression, anxiety, and shame, I know that God will heal me in the end.
Thank you-
Response:
Hi Steve,
Thank you for reaching out to us. I hope what I share with you will be of help to you. You are not alone. Each human being has some doubts about themselves. Keep in mind who’s the voice you are listening to, whether God’s voice or Satan’s voice. But it sounds to me as though you have been focusing on your weaknesses and doubts more than you have been focusing on God and his strength and power and great love for you. Read this scripture below slowly and try to understand what God is trying to tell you. 
Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Like any relationship here on earth, it takes time, energy, and effort to make it work. You do not ignore your friends, so why do we think that we can ignore God and still have a strong relationship with Him? Here are a couple of ideas that I am sure will get you started in having a better relationship with God:
Keep it Simple
  1. First thing in the morning, pray and thank God for a new day, invite God to direct your day, confess any sin you may be holding on to. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
  2. Open your Bible and read at least three to seven short verses in Proverbs to start with (increase your learning amount as you feel more comfortable doing so). Read as much as you would like to, be sure to read it slowly to understand what it is trying to say to you.
  3. Eventually, begin reading the Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. (I would suggest beginning with the book of John)
  4. Write a short paragraph based on what you read and anything else you feel a need to say to God or ask God. 
  5. Find a Bible-believing church to attend, and find someone who can help you stay on track. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I hope this will be a good start for you to begin to rid yourself of depression, anxiety, and shame. Here are three other pages that you might benefit from checking out.
  1. NeedEncouragement.com/depression
  2. NeedEncouragement.com/anxiety
  3. NeedEncouragement.com/shame
I will be praying that you continue to pray, but when you pray, Steve, pray and listen to what God is trying to tell you, and when you read his word. Here is a phone number you can call to talk with someone live at 800-633-3446. Also, here is a link to get started on a chat if you prefer to do that NeedEncouragement.com/chat
Also, take some time to look over our website to see other things that might help you.
May God continue to bless and keep you near to Him and make your path more clear to you to follow Him! Don’t give up. Things will get better.
James 1:5   If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Bill Greguska

Question:
We need to talk asap. The relationship ended!
Response:
Hi Ven,
I am very sorry to hear that your relationship ended. Being rejected can be very hurtful. Maybe there was some misunderstanding between you and your partner that happened, and you could work things out. On the other hand, perhaps it was meant to be? Have you taken this to the Lord in prayer? He will give you the comfort that you are looking for if you ask for wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Do you have a church that you attend? If so, I would suggest talking to someone at your church. If you do not have a church, I would recommend going to NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.
Another good suggestion would be to visit and chat with someone online at NeedEncouragement.com/chat.
I know you must be feeling some pain and confusion at this point, but rest assure that in our lives, people can let us down and leave us, but always remember that God will never leave you or forsake you! We do not do phone counseling, but the link for the chat above can help you. Otherwise, you can call 800-633-3446.
May God bless you and comfort you during this time. If you contact your partner, be sure to be very respectful and apologize if you have done them wrong. If they do not want to talk, then pray for them and respect their request. I pray that you find comfort in God’s word, and things will work out in God’s will.
Bill Greguska

Question:
My mind seems to be overtaken with sinful thoughts most uncontrollably.
Hi Tracy,
Here are a couple of things for you to think about and consider:
Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Do you pray about these habitual sins?
Do you read your Bible?
Do you have fellowship with other believers?
Do you confess your sins to God?
Do you put yourself around situations that are a temptation to you?
Do you have a church you attend?
Do you have a pastor to talk with?
Here are a couple of pages on my website that can be of help to you:
Also, you can call 800-633-3446
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you has been of help to you!
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hi there,
I’ve been looking for someone to give me a piece of godly advice regarding a subject that’s been on my mind these past several weeks. Unfortunately, my church’s body helps me as it’s a personal issue, and I haven’t found anyone to chat to about it.
I didn’t want to make a habit of using the internet to solve problems, but I was just hoping you would be available for just a one-time piece of godly advice to a brother.
My wife and I are both in our late thirties, have been saved since our mid-twenties, and have experienced a very fulfilling and blessed relationship both emotionally and spiritually.  But, something has been bugging me lately, which my mind can’t seem to switch off from.
My wife is 39, is in great physical shape, she has always had a real woman’s body: power thighs, big round hips, and buttocks, and she takes care of herself.  But the thing that’s bugging me is that she wears these leggings when she’s out in public. They aren’t see-through or anything, but they are very body-hugging, tight, and revealing of her lower body; every curve is on display when she wears them.
I don’t know why but for some reason, I feel very insecure and start to feel very jealous when I notice other guys in public or at the grocery store staring at her buttocks or checking out her lower half – there is a lot to check out.  I wondered if you could tell me from a spiritual perspective if I am sinning by feeling jealous.  I don’t want to feel this feeling, and it would help tremendously if you could clarify for me if it is, in fact, a sin; that way, I can fight it with scripture.
I don’t want to tell my wife what to wear. I just want to feel normal when she wears these leggings – most every other woman wears them in public, so why do I feel strangely jealous when she does?
I hope you can help me with this problem.  I have prayed about it, but I can’t seem to find any answers, and as I say, there is no-one else to talk to.
Blessings,
Ben
Response:
Hi Ben,
What you are saying is right on the money. First of all, you are NOT sinning by having feelings of jealousy in this case, and if you did not have those feelings, I would be more concerned. The ones that are sinning are the ones who look at your wife lustfully. My daughter did something similar years ago, and when I confronted her, she told me that it was not her problem but the guy’s problem. Maybe your wife is not even aware of what she is doing and how men are wired? This is what I suggest you do:
  1. Pray about it. needencouragement.com/how-to-pray
  2. Talk to your wife about it.
  3. If your wife does not like what you say, tell her how you feel, offer her to buy her some new clothes, and explain how men I wired to be visually stimulated, which is different from how women are stimulated.
  4. If your wife still does not like what you say, do not make an argument out of it, but rather bring it to your pastor as a concern for your marriage.
Remember, you are a man in your house, but be sure you are a gentleman in all circumstances and dealing with this potentially delicate subject. I hope what I have shared with you will help you and your wife!
May God bless you and your marriage and that your wife has ears to hear, and also she understands that you love her, and you want the best for her and your marriage!
Bill Greguska
More:
Thanks for your message, but let me put it another way.  If your wife wore tight, thin leggings in public that showed off her lower half, wouldn’t you feel any pang of anger or jealousy overseeing other guys ogle it and want her to wear something else because her body belongs to you and you alone?  Or would you say that feeling was a sin?
Response:
Hi Ben,
I do not know what else I can tell you, except to re-read the email that I sent you. But read it a little slower. I am sorry I was not 100% clear to you, but if she does not listen to what you say about how she dresses, contact your pastor, and the three of you can talk things out.
Go for the solution rather than being stuck on the problem. Take this to God in prayer first, then talk with your wife, and then talk with your pastor if she is unwilling to change her ways.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this but be patient, praying that things will work out.
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hi, id like to help with my relationship with God. In the summer of 2018, I’ve been the closest to God, but now I’ve lost faith. I feel like the reason why behind this is because of the stress and time from school. I’m not sure what to do, but I don’t feel a connection with him at all anymore. Please help.
Response Letter:
Hi Nina,
I would suggest that you pray to God and rekindle that relationship that still is there but has been overlooked. He has not gone anywhere; it is us that turn our backs on him. He loves us and will forgive us as a loving Father would.
Ask yourself what got in the way of your relationship with God? Often some of the things that get between God and us are our flesh, money, laziness, complacency, lack of prayer, Bible reading, and I would say most of all, sin. Is there any sin in your life that is not confessed and repented from?
Whatever it may be, confess it to God and turn from it. As is says in 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I  pray that your passion for God returns as you humble yourself to God, and I know that He will greet you with open arms.
Bill Greguska
800-633-3446

Question:
(Two questions for you)
Do people go to hell because of self-perception?
Do people go to hell because they committed suicide?
Lulu
Response Letter:
Hi Lulu,
I wanted to answer both of your questions, but the first question I did not understand precisely what you were trying to say, but I can tell you this though, the only way to go to hell would be to reject Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. We are all sinners, every last one of us, but if we are have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, hell is not an option.
Here is a link to a youtube video that will help answer your question about suicide. https://www.youtube.com/embed/YTUlnyv6mbk
I was not sure why you asked the question about suicide, but if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or know someone who is, please go to NeedEncouragement.com/suicide-prevention.
I got this information from an excellent website that I like, and I often use, which is called GotQuestions.org.
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you has answered your questions!
Bill Greguska

Question:
“If a Christian commits suicide, is he/she still saved?”
Response Letter:
It is a sad fact that some Christians have committed suicide. Adding to the tragedy is the false teaching that committing suicide automatically consigns one to hell. Many believe that a Christian who commits suicide will not be saved. This teaching is not supported in the Bible.
Scripture teaches that, from the moment we truly believe in Christ, we are guaranteed eternal life (John 3:16). According to the Bible, Christians can know beyond any doubt that they possess eternal life (1 John 5:13). Nothing can separate a Christian from God’s love (Romans 8:38–39). No “created thing” can separate a Christian from God’s love, and even a Christian who commits suicide is a “created thing”; therefore, not even suicide can separate a Christian from God’s love. Jesus died for all of our sins, and if a true Christian, in a time of spiritual attack and weakness, commits suicide, his sin is still covered by the blood of Christ.
According to the Bible, suicide is not what determines whether a person gains entrance into heaven. If an unsaved person commits suicide, he has done nothing but “expedite” his journey to hell. However, that person who committed suicide will ultimately be in hell for rejecting salvation through Christ, not because he committed suicide (see John 3:18).
However, we should also point out that no one truly knows what was happening in a person’s heart when he or she died. Some people have “deathbed conversions” and accept Christ in the moments before death. It is possible that a person who commits suicide could have a last-second change of heart and cry out for God’s mercy. We leave such judgments to God (1 Samuel 16:7).
The suicide of a believer is evidence that anyone can struggle with despair and that our enemy, Satan, is “a murderer from the beginning” (John 8:44). Suicide is still a serious sin against God. According to the Bible, suicide is murder; it is always wrong. Christians are called to live their lives for God, and the decision of when to die is God’s and God’s alone.
May God grant grace and the psalmist’s perspective to each one who is facing trials today: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 43:5).

Question:
I’m having relationship issues. My man misunderstood God and ended the relationship. I need God to pls speak to him and bring us back before my birthday. We’re ready for a Fresh Start with God as the foundation.
Response Letter:
Hi Bello,
I am sorry to hear you are going through a relationship problem. My first thought would be to suggest that you take this relationship issue to God in prayer. Be patient and calm.
You might want to write him a short detailed letter explaining why you believe he misunderstood God. Write it out for him. Let him read it, and then you can have something to talk over. You might want to wait at least a day or two to give him the letter.
After you talk on the phone, then talk in person would be the way to deal with things.
My pastor’s wife told me something very wise I like to share with you. Keep your boyfriend and everything and everyone in an open palm often. The problem is that we hold on too tightly to people and things. Allow God to work in your boyfriend’s heart and your heart in the next few days to see what develops.
I pray that you guard your heart and trust that God will work out things the way He knows best how to do.
Bill Greguska
Thank you so much. This really brought relief to me. I plead that you also join me in prayers pls.
Thank you
Hi Bello,
I pray that God restores your relationship with your boyfriend. It that is your will, Lord. If not, I pray that Bello will find her strength in you, Lord, and the people in her life. Bello would love for the relationship to get back together and have it based on you, God. Hear her plea Lord and give her what she needs.
800-633-3446
Bill Greguska
Thank you, that means a lot.

Hi Ben,
What you are saying is right on the money. First of all, you are NOT sinning by having feelings of jealousy in this case, and if you did not have those feelings, I would be more concerned. The ones that are sinning are the ones who look at your wife lustfully. My daughter did something similar years ago, and when I confronted her, she told me that it was not her problem but the guy’s problem. Maybe your wife is not even aware of what she is doing and how men are wired? This is what I suggest you do:
  1. Pray about it. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
  2. Talk to your wife about it.
  3. If your wife does not like what you say, tell her how you feel, offer her to buy her some new clothes, and explain how men I wired to be visually stimulated, which is different from how women are stimulated.
  4. If your wife still does not like what you say, do not make an argument out of it, but rather bring it to your pastor as a concern for your marriage.
Remember, you are a man in your house, but be sure you are a gentleman in all circumstances and dealing with this potentially delicate subject. I hope what I have shared with you will help you and your wife!
May God bless you and your marriage and that your wife has ears to hear, and also she understands that you love her, and you want the best for her and your marriage!
Bill Greguska

Question:
Do you provide any online or over the phone counseling? I could really use some, and so could my husband, separately.
Response Letter:
Hi Traci,
I do not do extended online or over the phone counseling myself, even though I answer some questions when people write to me. I am a Christian that offers advice to those who inquire with the wisdom from God’s word, the Bible, and my personal life experiences of 58 years, although I am not a counselor who digs deep down with extended visitations.
I would encourage you to contact https://krisreece.com/christian-counseling.
Here are some very encouraging videos by Kris Reece
Also, here are some excellent pages from my website that can also be of help to you both
  1. NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage
  2. NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
  3. NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-relationship
  4. NeedEncouragement.com/good-marriage
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you is helpful to you and your husband. I pray that your marriage strengthens and you can love one another like you did before you were married. Do not give up on your marriage as so many others do. God hates divorce.
Make sure you pray each day about it in your time with God. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
God bless you both,
Bill Greguska

Question:
I don’t know how to start. I don’t know why I am doing this either. In all retrospect, this seems like a stupid idea, and that is coming from me, a 13-year-old girl who has made multiple stupid choices in the entirety of my life. I believe that I am sending this because I just want someone to listen. I believe I am doing this also for forgiveness and not just from God. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned, that’s what people do when they sin right, they confess, they beg for forgiveness of a person whom they don’t even know exists (please don’t get me wrong, a Catholic mother raised me, so of course I believe in God).
So allow me to confess, I have committed 7 things the commandments have said not to do. I have lied constantly, manipulated, tricked many people, even those closest to me. I have thought about suicide. I have thought of many things. Growing up, my mother abused me.  As a child, I sometimes prayed for her, but now it seems they pray for me.
My mother believes that God punishes my family for our sins since my father lost his job, my sister almost lost her vision, me possibly repeating school, etc. She took me one time to church to talk to God. I had no idea what to say. Sometimes I do believe that it is a punishment from God for my sins. I feel corrupted somehow, compelled to learn about evil( ex. I have been for the past 4 or 5 years been very obsessed with learning and reading about demons, but I don’t because I’m too scared to). I feel depressed from within. I feel trapped, only able to accept the choice already made for me. I believe that is why I doubt Catholicism.
It only shows one side of the story (God’s side) and not the story’s satan side. We don’t know what truly happened. We can only believe that it is true. I can’t help but doubt if a God was so forgiving. Why do people go to hell? I can’t help but doubt. Please forgive me, but I turned to God whenever I was in trouble, so why should I not turn to him now. Father, help me, for I think I am damned.
 Honorine
Response Letter:
Hi Honorine,
I am glad you reached out to share what is going on in your life. Since you believe in God, and loves you, you are not dammed. You have merely taken the wide road offered by the world and the devil, but you still have time to get on the narrow road, which leads to life.
First of all, I encourage you to take time right now to pray to God, and He has not turned His back on you. It is us who turn our back on Him. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Next, I encourage you to do what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
It sounds like you have a lot on your heart and mind that you are dealing with. I understand what you are saying about the Catholic church. You might want to find a protestant Bible-believing church to attend if possible. If not, since you are so young, I encourage you to check out our website, watch some good Christian videos, and check out the many pages on different topics we have. Needencouragement.com/false-religions.
I pray for you right now that you can ask God to give you wisdom and direction in your life. I pray that you do not become overwhelmed with too many things all at the same time. Walk with the Lord, read your Bible, and begin a close relationship with Him. You are not alone, God is with you (Emanuel), and He will put the right people in your path to accomplish His will in your life!
Bill Greguska

Subject: “I’m feeling really guilty about what I have said to several loved ones in my life.”
Message Body:
My son has been estranged from me for over 5 years.
I was a single mom and did the best I could with him juggling raising him and work. I let him have it the other day. I’ve tried to love him and have tried tough love. Neither has worked. Also, I have or had one Christian friend whom I said some awful things to last week. I made amends to her, but I feel like there is a big rift between us. She has been on the mission field and seems like a strong believer.
Also, she has been my caregiver for 5 years. I finally had to let her go because she always came to me for financial assistance besides her normal pay. I believe her husband or her family should help her, not me. I disagree with her gambling issue and have helped her out over the years. I had a gambling problem myself and understand how hard it is to break away.
My dad gave all his children an inheritance, and I don’t feel right about giving her extra cash, but I still feel bad about the whole thing. She now is free to do her own thing, like Bible Study without me, to go to Church with me, or any else she wants to do She is a wonderful person, and I still love her as a friend. I get this awful feeling that things aren’t right between us.
I resent the fact that she comes to me when she needs financial help. I can’t do it anymore.. period. My inheritance was given to me, and I saw her spend her whole paycheck on gambling. It breaks my heart to see my dad’s hard-earned money wasted away. I know it’s very wrong to feel resentful. I’m in a dilemma whether to keep helping her even though she is married and her family is more capable of helping her out. I need help with these two issues in my life.
Hi Lucy,
I am glad you have reached out to us. It almost sounds to me in your writing that you are almost answering your own questions.
As far as your son, if you have done all you could do, then just turn the page and wait on the Lord to make the possible next move, all relationships are not reconciled, but we need to listen to the instruction in the following scripture.
Romans 12:18  If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
As far as your friend with the gambling problem, you are making it to become your problem. That is wrong. You are enabling her, and as you said, she has a family who needs to be aware of what is going on. You can blame me if it helps you that you contacted some this weekend and he suggested that you do not give her more money.
It sounds like you have a big heart, and your son has crushed it, and your friend is taking advantage of you. Please pray about this, and I am sure the Lord will want you to forgive your son for whatever your part in the problem was, and leave it at that.
Remember, not helping a friend with a gambling problem does not mean you are cruel or bad; you are just wise, even though it is uncomfortable for you to do so.
Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
You will be happy that you did. If what I have shared has been helpful and you would have more to say, feel free to contact me back via email.
My God bless you and help you take the narrow gate.
Bill Greguska

Subject: I’m scared I committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit
Message Body:
I’m scared cause I have evil thoughts about God, and not only that, I’m scared I may have said something bad about God in the past, and I’m scared cause I don’t want to go to hell.
Hi Vincent,
Have to take this to God in prayer? That would be my first and foremost advice to you.
I noticed that you said, I may have said something bad about God in the past.” Keep in mind that you are human with a human mind and emotions, and if you did say something in anger, you can come to Jesus in prayers and confess your sin.
It says in 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

It is an excellent sign that this issue is bothering you and that you seem to want to make things right with God so you can be with Him in heaven rather than hell. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

If what I have shared with you has been helpful and you would like to talk to me more about this, please email me back.

God bless you!

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
I allowed my grown daughter to move in with my granddaughter, who is 2 years old last year. I left for vacation in Georgia and came back home to find her and her boyfriend that she’s only known for two months on my own. I was told that they were staying here the week that I was gone. I also found beer in the house. I am a Christian woman. I do not allow men to stay in my home, and I do not allow alcohol in my home. My daughter knows this, and she straight out didn’t care about it. What should I do? I really want her out of my house.
Hi,
I am glad you have reached out to talk to us about this before doing anything. God’s word says in Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but they succeed with many advisers. You are in a difficult situation, but the answer is relatively straightforward. I hope what I share with you make it more clear to you. It is not a simple answer, but God’s word will shine the light you need to the right decision. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
The first thing I suggest that you do is to take this concern of yours to God in prayer. I am sure he will give you the wisdom you need to deal with this problem.
As for me, I would suggest that you sit your daughter down and tell her what you will allow and what you will not allow in your house and the reason why (this might impact her conscience and make her understand what she did was wrong. If this works, you have won her over.
But if it does not work, and she gives you an argument, you need to calmly remind her that the house she is living in is yours. If she still puts up a fuss, tell her you will give her one last chance to prove herself, and as my big brother, who is 15 years older than I am, used to tell me when I used to get in trouble and was disobedient, he used to say, you make your bed and you will sleep in it.
Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
If the worst comes to worst (which we pray does not happen), try to give her a 30-day notice, and in doing so, she might come to her senses and realize she has it made, living with you.
I had two kids myself, one natural and one stepson. The motto that I tried to base my parenting on was the words: FIRM, FAIR, FUN. That always seemed to guide me through difficult times.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help. If so, and you would like to email me back with anything else, please feel free to do so.
Remember, a carpenter uses the right size hammer to get the job done, so that is why I am suggesting that you stay calm. Remember that you are the mother, you are in control, it is your home, yet don’t forget that you love your daughter, and doing something harsh might have its long-lasting regrets.
I have confidence that you will do fine. I pray that the Holy Spirit leads you, and you do not lend your lips to the devil out of anger. You can calmly deal with this, set up a time you both are free to talk and be assertive and loving to your daughter!
You need to pray to God and decide what YOU are going to do, as it says in:
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
May God bless you and give you wisdom, strength, and a confident, calm spirit in dealing with your daughter.
Bill Greguska
P.S. You might also wish to look back to when we were kids and the mess we got ourselves into. If you had a good mom and dad as I did, they were upset with me, but always God directed them to know how to deal with me. How about you? Please let me know how things turned out, even if you do not need any more advice. I will be praying for you! Keep it in mind, and this could be a good learning experience for your daughter and draw her more near to the Lord!

Subject: Marital issues
Message Body:
Hey, I’m having issues with my husband. We got married really fast, and I love him, but there’s a side to him I didn’t really notice at the beginning of our relationship, and that’s that he’s really impatient and reactive. He’s spent years abusing drugs like pills, and it could be a side effect. He is Christian and loves God, but I’m afraid he isn’t aware of people’s outbursts. He has the right to be upset, but it’s as if it happens way too often and aggressively. I’m feeling tired of bringing it up to him and praying about it. I don’t know what to do, but it’s leading me to think have I made a mistake marrying him? Why did God not show me this side of him before? Or was I too blind to have noticed it?
He’s aware of his reactions, and he’s gone through too many therapies in the past. When he was a kid, his biological mother was left at 2, and his stepmom physically abused him. He says he’s forgiven them, but maybe that’s why he’s still angry. As much as he’s reactive, he’s also very loving and caring.
Advice, prayers, and ears to hear me out are appreciated right now. Thank you for helping out. God bless you in Jesus’ name.
Amen
Hi Bianca,
When you say that you have been having issues with your husband, that does not surprise me. The reason I say that is because whenever you get two sinners (saved by God’s grace or not, there are bound to be sparks flying.
I would try to get your eyes off your husband’s shortcomings and set your eyes on the Lord to help you find out what you can do to help your marriage. If anything, we ought to look upon our own shortcomings and how you can improve. (I am not taking his side, but most people when we get a little older get set in our own way, so trying to “FIX HIM” will be MUCH harder than to ask God to make you better, you will win him over to you faster that way than trying to fix him, believe me!!!
I believe you say that he is “impatient and reactive” that he abused drugs in the past. Since you married him, your job is to be his helpmate. By that, I mean, encourage him and build him up. Do you try not to engage in issues that are so very minor that tend to make him reactive? Have you been doing that?
You also mention that he is “very loving and caring.” You need to tell him how very loving and caring he is. Give him examples of what you mean when you say that he is “very loving and caring?”
If what I have said to you has been helpful, please email me if you have more to say?
May God bless you both, and you can both have more patience and understanding in your marriage!
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Coping with Breakup
Message Body:
I broke up with my bf yesterday because he was yelling at me and left in a rage and wouldn’t pick up the phone when he left.  He’s not even sorry, and it seems like he doesn’t care how much he hurts me.
Hi Sara,
Of course, I do not know all the details, but it sounds like he has shown his anger one too many times with you. If I were you, I would not try to even think about it right now until things cool off, get some sleep, and take care of yourself. He had no right to yell and leave in a rage, but maybe when he comes to his senses, he might humbly come to apologize to you. If not, maybe it is for the best to leave him.
You do not want to be married to someone who treats you like that, especially while you are still dating. Maybe this is a blessing, sort of speak, but maybe when he regains his mind, you might willing to at least listen to his side of the story. We all can lose our cool sometimes, right, but if you think this is a regular pattern with him, maybe saying goodbye is the right thing. Breaking up can be very hard!
Please pray about this and see what your boyfriend does in the next few days.
A couple of things to remember in life:
  1. Always use your head and guard your heart.
  2. God commands us to forgive one another, yet reconciliation is not a command.
  3. If you are not a Christian, I suggest that you take a look at my website and see if it speaks to you in any special way. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to email us back if you need to say more? I pray that you leave your relationship in an open palm to God and allow God to direct your path. God will never leave you or treat you like that!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Bored. Other
Message Body:
It seems like family, and friends are so scared about these perilous times that no one wants to stay in touch. It seems like people are getting more self-centered. As a believer, I realize Jesus is with me but thought God gave us fellowship in this life unless God wants me alone this way. A disabled Christian family should be more caring. But with. plus, I’m not sure where God wants me to go live as I’m almost poor. I never wanted to be homeless and have tried to apply for work. parents gone life seems a bit gloomy
A Christian friend seems too busy to advise as he used to. He is overseas.
Is God separate people from me or set me apart from them?
Hi Matt,
You have some excellent questions. I am not sure if I can answer them the way you need, but I know who does, and that is God Himself!
Reading your email, my first thought was that since others are not stepping up to the plate in social areas, why don’t you take the initiative to contact them on the phone, write a letter, send an email, and start-up some conversations. Since you mentioned God, I assume that you have a relationship with God. You say you do not have people to care for you, but keep in mind that God cares for every one of us! You can cast your worries on to His shoulders, as it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
If what I have shared has been of help to you, feel free to email me back if you would like to mention anything else?
God bless you, keep you company, calm your spirit, and walk with you each day!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Prayer
Message Body:
I feel like I have lost my salvation. Words can fully describe how scared, sick, alone, and helpless I feel. It is constant, and I cannot go on this way.
Hi Sandra,
Remember that feelings are not facts. Why in the world would you think you have lost your salvation? Even if you did commit a huge sin, God’s grace is sufficient.
1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Once we are saved, nobody or nothing can snatch us out of God’s hand. How long have you been saved?
Here is a scripture to give you some encouragement and assurance of your salvation.
Romans 10:9-10  If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.
Pray to God right now, and tell God what is on your heart, do not listen to the lies of the devil. The devil is our enemy and wants to kill, steal, and destroy our lives.
Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains.
Fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
If what I have shared with you has been an encouragement to you, feel free to contact me back if you have more to say. Here is a link for your encouragement. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
God bless you!
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: under attack
Message Body:
I have been returned to the Lord for two years now. In the last year, I have been reduced to not having enough to eat and no water. The local cop tried to arrest me and accused me of being a meth addict. The people around here all think I’m something I’m not. I keep trying to show apples, and they see pinecones. I’m so broke. I eat every other day. I thought I was living right and been asking for God’s help. It’s starting to feel like he isn’t listening anymore.
Hi Ellis,
It sounds like you kind of hit bottom and are looking for a way back up. Have you prayed and asked God what He wants you to do? Is there someone you know who can help you get your feet back on the ground? How about your church? Is there anyone you could talk with and get some help from? You seem to be having doubts about God, but believe me, God is real, and He loves you and has a plan for your life, not to harm you, but give you hope and a future. Have you been living your life for the Lord? If not, He will always welcome you back with open arms.
You might want to google local shelters and food pantries so you can at least start to eat healthy and get your strength back. In the meantime, keep praying and try to understand what God is calling you to do at this time in your life. I will pray for you that God opens up the right doors for you and closes the ones that will lead you to nowhere.
Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Detrimental Family Matters
Message Body:
hi there! I really need some assistance with a decision. My mother has been dealing with meth addiction for as long as I can remember. My siblings and I have dealt with it for years. We’ve been taken away once before when I was about 9. anyway, and it’s reached the point where we barely have hygiene supplies in our bathroom. It’s almost a privilege to have toilet paper now. And my younger siblings don’t attend school much because my mother and her boyfriend don’t care enough to make an effort.
The school principal had to come to our house today. My mom does meth every week. There’s no “only on the weekends” anymore. It’s whenever she gets money from her boyfriend. And they’ve been in countless domestic fights. Police have been involved many times. Anyway, I don’t know if I should make an anonymous cps call or give it to God. I pray on it every day, but it’s just something nagging at me 24/7. I can’t focus on schoolwork. I’m a senior now. And I feel this year deserves my effort. I think I’ll just end this here. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, by the way. I just don’t know what to do.
Best Regards,
Hi Karina,
Thanks for reaching out to us. I saw your email early this afternoon, but I wanted to put more thought and prayer into it before responding to you after reading it.
I noticed that you mentioned God in your email. I take it that you are a Christian. I am sure you must wonder why God is allowing this to happen to you and your siblings. First of all, I would suggest that you keep praying and sincerely ask God what He wants you to do? Pray for your mother, yourself, your siblings.  I can understand that you are in a terrible situation. What do you think about trying to get drug treatment help for your mother? Would she possibly cooperate, or is she still pretty strongly active in her addiction?
Please do me a favor, if it ever gets to the point where you feel you or your siblings are in danger, please do not hesitate to contact 911. In the meantime, do your best to focus on your schoolwork, and try to be a good role model for your siblings. I am sorry that you have to be experiencing this, but keep in mind that God is in control, so keep close to God and use the good brains that He has blessed you with to do good!
If what I have shared has been helpful, please contact me if you have more questions or need more help!
I will be praying for you, and I trust that God will be watching over you. So try to keep calm and trust God!
This scripture has given me strength and encouragement many times in my life…
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Life, Love, Family & Salvation
Message Body:
Hello, my name is Charles. I am contacting need encouragement representatives to gain more insight on my “walk”  and communing with God and his people.
Hi Charles,
I am glad you contacted us. What do you mean specifically when you say, “to gain more insight on my “walk”  and communing with God and his people.”
  1. Have you prayed about this, and if so, what do you believe God wants you to learn more about or change in your life?
  2. Have you talked to anyone else, and if so, what did they tell you?
Please feel free to email us back with more specifics to be of help to you.
Bill Greguska