Hi Tony,
I am glad that you reached out for help. When you say that you have been doing everything to follow the Lord, what do you mean by that?
As far as not sleeping, have you been drinking caffeinated coffee soda, or alcohol? (these things can affect your sleep) have you been doing any exercising? Exercise will help you increase the chances of a good night’s sleep. https://needencouragement.com/need-exercise/
When you say that you keep losing your faith, I do not understand what you mean. You either have faith, or you do not. Sure, things can influence how we feel from time to time, and doubts can sneak in. Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
But if you have faith in Jesus Christ, that he came to this world to save you from your sins, and you put your faith in Him, your faith will not fluctuate so greatly, and you will find peace with God in a new way that you might not have had before…Romans 10:9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Then you are saved by faith. If not, then your faith needs to be reevaluated. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/ Tony, if what I have shared with you has been helpful, and you would like to tell me more or ask a question, feel free to email me back. In the meantime, I pray that you reach out to God in prayer to help guide you and comfort you in this time of your life and that you grow closer to God.
May God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I need help. I am a weak person; I am doing everything to follow the lord. I do t sleep; I keep losing my faith.
Tony
Hi Tracy,
I am delighted that you realize that the Lord is telling you to have no contact with that man. I know for sure, without a doubt, that is the right answer!
It is time to reach out to God in a more meaningful way and also reach out to your lady friends and, of course, husband. I believe that you know what God wants you to do, and I believe you can do it!
Here is an analogy you may want to consider that may be of help to you. If you had a severe and dangerous infection in your foot, and the doctors all agreed that the only way you could survive is to amputate your foot, I do not think you would like that idea, but you would not have another choice. Then the decision, even though it may be difficult, would be clear for you to make. The same goes for that man. It sounds to me like it was more than a friendship you had with that man. Otherwise, it would not be so difficult for you to break free of him mentally. I pray that you rid the ghost of your former friend and get him out of your mind once and for all.
As far as your depression goes, I think the sooner you get that man out of your mind, the sooner the depression will go away too! Please do not just take your care to the Lord and jump right back in the driver’s seat. But rather, keep the Lord in the driver’s seat, and submit yourself to Him. I understand and personal experience that if we have any unconfessed sin in our lives, that makes things that much worse for depression. Here is a scripture that I sent you before that I will send to you again. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
May you seek God with your whole heart and turn away from any sin or resemblance of sin in your life. Sin has a way of stealing joy and happiness in our lives.
If what I am sharing with you is helpful, feel free to email me if you have more to say or have any questions.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
Thanks for replying, Bill. At this point, when I’m praying, I know the Lord is telling me to have no contact with this man. But my thoughts are consumed with him. I can’t get over this depression and anxiety. I just want to cry. Why won’t God take away these feelings?
Tracy
Hi Tracy,
It is wise that you choose to reach out for help. Although when you pray about this temptation of yours, what do you sense that the Lord is instructing you to do? I would strongly consider following the prompting of the Lord and not lean on your fleshly desires.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
What does God’s word say in the Bible about what you are going through?
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
The best way to avoid temptation is to keep yourself away from this man threatening to weaken you and have you fall into sin and destroy your marriage. You need to avoid him at all costs since he has lit a fire in you that can only be quenched by God through prayer, reading scriptures, and determination to get him out of your life! Anything short of these suggestions, I truly believe you will be flirting with disaster.
Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
God’s work refers to a man who has lust in his heart for a woman, but that also applies to a woman who has a desire in her heart for a man. The lust of sin is something that God wants nothing for us to do with. It sounds like your admittance of struggling implies that you have a lust for this man. I am sure you realize that you need to flee from this lust, or your marriage will be at risk.
Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Something must have recently pulled you away from God. Have you been going to church, reading your Bible, praying to God, and fellowshipping with other believers?
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
I pray that you ask God for forgiveness and to flee from this man. I pray that you will run to God for your strength, and He will guard your heart. I fear otherwise, if you entertain thoughts about this man, you will be like a moth circling the campfire, and before you know it, you will be consumed by your lust. And like the moth would be burned in the campfire.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If what I have shared with you has been of help, please feel free to email me back if you have more to share or have any questions.
May you find God’s peace in doing God’s will,
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I am going through one of the biggest struggles of my life right now. I have developed feelings for a married man who is not my husband. I have not committed physical adultery, but I’m struggling to get this man out of my mind and save my marriage. My marriage has not been great, and I’ve never been delighted in it, but I made this commitment before God, and I’m trying my best to make it work. My anxiety levels are so high I can barely function in my daily life.
I have prayed and prayed for the Lord to take the thoughts of him out of my head, but He’s not answering my prayer yet. I know I have done wrong and have asked the Lord for forgiveness for everything, but I still can not get over these feelings. Why won’t God take these thoughts away from me? I’m at my end and don’t know how to go on anymore.
Tracy
Hi Christianah,
It is hard for me to give you specific advice on what you ought to do, so I will provide you with some general ideas that might or might not be appropriate for you to try.
- Before dealing with your father, I would suggest prioritizing trying to get right with God first and foremost.
- Then sit down and talk with your father and let him know what you think and feel. If he loves you, he would be willing to listen to you if you respectfully spoke to him.
- If the two of you can see things eye to eye, then you are in much better shape.
- If you cannot see things eye to eye with him, you might want to avoid conflict with him or consider moving out of his home.
- Sometimes the word depression is used pretty freely, but if you think you are depressed, check out https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/.
If what I have shared has been helpful to you, please feel free to email me back to let me know more to help you more, hopefully. I will pray that God will open both your heart and your father’s heart and that the two of you can work things out. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
God bless you, and may God give you the wisdom you need, and the love you need to follow through with your father, and your relationship with both God and your earthly father.
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I’m a 23-year-old lady who is depressed about her family and has been the first child, and it became more weighty for me. I’m perplexed and scared. Having a tough father, l couldn’t voice out. Just here dyeing in silence, l have been trying to find a good counselor, but it involves payment, which is a limitation; kindly help a soul.
Christianah
Hi Lydia,
I am glad you have decided to reach out for help. Let me ask you, have you prayed to God about your addiction? If so, what do you hear God telling you to do?
God’s word talks about having a pure heart and that sex is meant for marriage solely. Yes, God gives us all free will to do what we want, but with this freedom comes both consequences and blessings.
1 Corinthians 6:12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything,”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
If you do not have a relationship with God, I suggest focusing on that first, and your addiction will fade away in a matter of time.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Try to find someone that you can help to keep you accountable. Someone like a pastor, a good friend, or another Christian. You say that you have been fighting the addiction your whole life.
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to email me back if you have more to say or have any questions. I will pray that the Lord opens your eyes and gives you the strength to overcome your addiction one day at a time.
God bless you, and I pray you to seek him in your life more and more each day!
Bill Greguska
Message Body:
I need serious help. I’ve been fighting this porn addiction for almost my whole life now, and I’m 18 years old. Pls, help me. pls Lydia
Question:
I am a 27-year-old mother of 2 beautiful and smart daughters, but I am also a hard struggling addict. I used to be happy, and I could hear the lord when he spoke to me as anything I asked of him would almost manifest itself. He answered my prayers so quickly. I love him and respectfully fear him, but I am afraid he’s given up on me. After relapsing every other day, I tell myself I’m going to quit. I feel hopeless for telling myself right before I stick the devil’s sword in me, ” Lord, please forgive me again, I’m so sorry, I’m sick, and I need you!”
Can someone help me before I lose everything I love, or does everything I love lose me? There are not many rehabs in Louisiana, much fewer ones that let your children come, plus my husband doesn’t know my addiction goes this deep. Please help! Thank you, and bless you if you can help someone as hopeless as me who seems to love their sin more than God our Father, but I won’t let the devil take me that far. I still and will forever love my Father!!!
Response:
Dear Friend,
Thank you for reaching out to us. You have had enough of your addiction. The first suggestion that I give to everyone is to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray. I, too, had an addiction to alcohol and drugs when I was younger, I quit using when I was 26 years old, and it was one of the wisest and the best things I could do for myself with God’s help. You can stop with God’s help too. (No, God did not turn His back on you, you turned your back on Him, but He will take you back like the prodigal son, or in your case, prodigal daughter) He took me back!
You have two options right now.
- You can continue in your addiction and keep sinking lower and lower, harm your daughters with your addiction, and ultimately divorce.
- Or you can get sincere and transparent and reach out for help so that you can find the joy that you so deeply miss.
Just the fact that you have reached out today tells me that you want help.
- Get on your knees and pray to God to remove your addiction.
- Level with your husband to let him know that you are struggling. If he is any kind of good man, he will want to help you!
- Stop seeing whoever is supplying your addiction.
- Get rid of any drugs or alcohol in your home.
- Get a counselor and or an accountability partner to help keep you on the straight and narrow.
I think these links might be of help to you:
I will pray that God heals you from your addiction and that the suggestions I have shared will help you. Keep in mind that God can take this addiction from you if you hand it over to Him and not keep taking it back.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
If you need to talk to a trained Christian counselor, you can call 800-633-3446
May God bless you and show you the way out of your addiction.
Bill Greguska
Continued
Thank you so much, Mr. Bill, I will continue praying and having faith in the lord, and I will also read the links you sent. You can tell you replied to me, and I thank you for taking the time to lend a helping hand. Nobody knows what one kind word can do for someone. May God continue to bless you. Thanks so much!
Continued
Good Morning,
You are very welcome. Now commit yourself to get back on the right track. DO NOT think you can do it in your power because you can not; you need God’s help and the help of those people that God puts in your life to help you. It would help if you were very serious about this because, unfortunately, a half-hearted effort will not accomplish your desired goal.
I will pray that you make it the rest of the week without using it, and then after accomplishing that, keep on moving forward. You can do it with God’s help. Believe me, I did. With God, all things are possible!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
P.S. I see you are up late at night sending this email, so try to get back on a regular sleeping, and eating pattern that will help you too. I say this because I care, and you need your strength and health if you want to get clean!
Subject: email list
Message Body
Please add me to your encouragement message email list. Thank you
Hi Sarah,
You have just been added to our mailing list. We usually send out between 1-2 emails per week.
We are sure you will like the encouragement. Feel free to share our site with others you know on Facebook and your email list.
Take care, and God bless you!
Bill Greguska
Question:
I have a difficult situation. My brother James died in May. Mom had a stroke that day and died in June. I had probate court, cremations, memorials, then clearing and shelling mom’s house (the family home), getting a new place, and then my husband filed for divorce because I spent too much time in Ohio (we had been living in England). Now that I have cleared out of our English home, I can finally relax, and it is hitting me hard every morning.
Response:
Hi Michelle,
I am sorry to hear that you have been in a storm time in your life. It makes it hard when many things happen relatively at the same time. It is wise that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are going through some grieving, and you need to be patient with yourself. NeedEncouragement.com/grief If you believe in the Lord, you can take refuge in him during these hard times that you went through and thank Him for his faithfulness to see you through.
I have been through some difficult times in my life, and I have found that prayer, fellowship with other believers, taking care of my health, exercise, eating correctly, and being with good friends and family members for support.
One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.
I hope and pray that what I shared will be of help to you, and I pray that you find healing and hope in Jesus Christ and that your faith will grow because of all that you have been through.
Feel free to call 800-633-3446
May God bless you and keep you safe as you walk with Him,
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hello. May I please chat with someone online?
Response:
Hi Sana,
It is apparent to anyone that life can be very complicated at times, but whatever you are going through, keep in mind that others like myself have gone through similar situations and have been able to make it through.
I wanted to die two times in my life, once when I was in high school with all the school pressures and problems because of drugs and alcohol. The second time was when my wife left me, and all it seemed I could think about was wishing that the pain would end in both circumstances. I am thankful that I reached out for help like you are doing. You are going to be okay.
A couple of questions for you to think about to get you started on the right path:
- Are you praying to God at all? Have you asked God to forgive you for everything you have done wrong? 1 John 1:8-9
- Are you getting enough sleep at night, 7-8 hours each night?
- Are you eating healthy?
- Are you getting any exercise?
- Are you avoiding alcohol and drugs?
The first thing I always suggest to anyone who contacts me is to pray about your situation. Ask God what you need to do.
It says in James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
Whatever you are going through right now, I am not minimizing how badly you feel about it, so please trust me when I tell you.
Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
God knows your pain, so how about doing what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
May God bless you and keep you safe in His presence. I feel your pain, and I will pray that my advice to you will help you!
Bill Greguska
Question:
My husband and I are Christians. He moved out on Dec 12, and we have been in communication a little but only via text. Tonight he texted and said he was driving by and wanted to know if I wanted to be intimate with him. After spending 2 hours before telling me, I’m not a godly wife.
Response:
Hi Kandy,
I am glad you have reached out for some help.
- What does your pastor say about your husband moving out?
- Are you talking about getting some counseling soon?
- What is stopping the two of you from forgiving one another?
It sure sounds like some type of broken communication and or misinterpreting what each of you has said without clearly understanding each other. Of course, you understand that leads to hurt feelings, which leads to angry feelings, which leads to feelings of revenge and bitterness, and attitudes of I am right, and you are wrong. That is inevitable.
For now, I strongly suggest that each of you, at least you, take an inventory of your heart to God and confess all that you have done, said, or thought of to your husband. Hopefully, he can do the same, but you take care of your business with God in the meantime.
Next time the two of you talk, try to repeat what he just said so that you understand exactly what he meant. (for example, when you thought he said you were an ungodly wife, possibly he might have intended to say that something you said or did was not godly, which could be a possibility since we are all sinners, right? None of us are perfect, and we have all fallen short of God’s glory)
My point is that if you backtrack to the point of why your husband left or was asked to leave, you will find a trail of unhealthy communication all along the road — each incident which leads to hurt feelings, angry feelings, feelings of revenge, and bitterness pulls you further apart and is not pleasing to God.
You need to let go of the past and start to rebuild. If not, you will be divorced before you know it. If you want your marriage to last, you need to take charge and do something about it. Forgiveness is a part of this equation.
Without knowing more about what is going on between the two of you. Seeing things through the eyes of a man, either this might be how he is trying to tell you that he still loves you. Or it could be a selfish, self-seeking idea on his part, and I have no way of judging his intentions.
But, if you want your marriage to stay alive, you need to be open to communication and spending time with each other, unless it is not a safe situation for you to be in.
If I were you, I would welcome him over, but you need to do some talking and soul-searching openly with each other before you get intimate.
Maybe he thought that he made a mistake by moving out. The Bible does talk about not withholding sexuality from each other unless you both agree that it would be appropriate for a short time. So bottom line, I definitely would entertain the idea for you to be intimate with your husband unless you are in fear of him.
I pray that you will be open to mending your bridges quickly because if not, your marriage will be in jeopardy!!!
Here are a couple of links that might be of help to you.
- needencouragement.com/how-to-forgive
- NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage
- NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
Here is some homework for you to do this week:
- Pray for your husband each morning and evening and during the day when you can.
- Pray to God to soften both of your hearts.
- Confess to God (and your husband also) anything you have done that needs to be forgiven.
- Be willing to forgive whatever your husband has said or done to you. (if we do not forgive others, our Father in heaven will not forgive us)
- Write a letter to your husband to tell him you are sorry for upsetting him and that you forgive him for upsetting you.
This is a lot for you to do. You can either work hard to keep your marriage alive, focus not on what he did to you or said to you, but instead, focus on how you will get him to want to come back to live with you.
You have a chance right now to save your marriage. If you procrastinate much longer and refuse to go to God for help, you will find yourself divorced and very miserable for several years.
Believe me. I have been through what you are going through. I fought the good fight. I did not give up on my marriage, yet my ex got weak and gave up.
I am asking you to be strong and not give up. Do whatever it takes to stay married. Divorce is excruciating and leaves scars. Take the high road like I did, so that even if your marriage does not work (which we hope it starts to mend right away), you will know in your heart of hearts that you did all you could do to keep your marriage vows. You can not control your husband, but you can pray for him!!!
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hi, I need advice on this relationship I am in. I am a Christian, I believe in Jesus, and I want to know what God is saying is best for my life. I need some advice on my relationship, please.
Response:
Hi Pteris,
You have not given me much to advise you on, but I can tell you one thing for sure: you ought to pray about it and ask God for wisdom. It says in James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope that what I shared can be an excellent start to resolving things in your relationship.
Bill Greguska
Question:
Counseling question, I live in Sydney, Australia. Do you offer free Christian counseling?
Response:
Hi Vicki,
Also, we have these Question/Response pages to share our responses to emails that we get.
What about talking with a close friend or pastor at your church? If you are not attending a church right now, you would be wise to look into finding one. I have a tool to find a church, but it might only be in the US, but it is worth looking into.
I hope what I have shared is helpful to you.
Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.
God bless you, and may He keep you near to Him daily!
Bill Greguska
Question:
I have a bunch of trauma throughout my life. My faith in God keeps me going, but my anxiety and depression always get the rest of me can afford to counsel; I just need somebody to talk to for support.
Response:
Hi Ashley,
Here are two links that will address a couple of your concerns.
- NeedEncouragement.com/anxiety
- NeedEncouragement.com/depression
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
I hope that what I have shared with you will be something that will help you in your situation! Having a church to give you support and encouragement is very important. Keep praying and keep close to God, and I pray that God puts some special people in your life to help to continue to point you to Jesus.
Bill Greguska
Question:
How does one go about forgiving someone toxic but doesn’t wish to be around that person anymore? There is no love, honesty, or respect in this relationship. A family member has chosen to judge my children and me. She has made known her judgments. I can forgive her, but I don’t know if I can be around her or expose my children to her as she is not in a place of reconciliation.
She has told me she wants to move forward but has warned me that she will still be sarcastic with me and that I need to thicken my skin. It would be great to move on, as this has robbed me of so much time emotionally. You know, I have read all kinds of things on forgiveness, and I think I’m at a place to forgive. Realizing that she has some issues with grief (from a death in the family) and has taken it out on my children and me. I do have compassion for her and feel sorry for her that she is in a bad place. However, I don’t want to expose myself to her. Does that mean I’m not forgiving?
Response:
Hi Ellie,
What you have shared reminds me of a scripture from Romans 12:18 “As far as possible as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I just shared that scripture with my grandson the other day because I know how important it is to be at peace with others.
Maybe taking a break from being around your family member for a while might defuse the emotions that seem to be flying freely.
You may limit your contact just to text messages, so she doesn’t think you are running from her. Assure her that you are trying to figure out how to resolve things.
He will give you wisdom on how to deal with your family members and protect your children at the same time. If you can think of something that you need to apologize to her for your part in anything to start the healing process, find out what she is upset about specifically or what you did wrong in her eyes specifically.
Admitting your part would most likely defuse the situation. Humbly apologize for any harsh words or anything you will discover the love in her heart covered up by pain and anger begins to resurface in a good way again.
When we forgive someone, that does not mean we forget what they have said or done, but it does put it in the past where it belongs. Then you can proceed to allow the other person to build trust back into the relationship.
God’s word says in Matthew 6:15, But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. That scripture alone was enough for me to realize how important forgiveness is.
I will pray for you, and I hope that what I have shared will help your situation!
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hi Good evening,
My name is Blessing, and I am 23 years old. I am confused. I am dating a guy who has a 1-year-old child. He says he and his baby’s mother don’t see things the same way anymore, and they had broken up before she found out she was pregnant, so they decided to keep the baby. Still, they aren’t dating anymore. Even their families are aware of it. I met him a month before the baby was born.
Am I wrong for dating him as a Christian? My family doesn’t want us together because he has a child, but I feel no one in this world is guiltless, so it isn’t a barrier as long as we plan for a better future.
I don’t know what to do about my family and make them understand that so far we are happy and I have never been this happy with anyone like him; with him, I don’t have to pretend to be something else, I can confide in him, and he assists me however way he can. Plus opportunity they say to come, but once I don’t want to make a mistake, let him go without giving him the benefit of the doubt that he means well to me.
He proposed that we move in together since we stay in the same city and rent to save costs together. What do I do? Am confused. I do love him.
Please help me,
Blessing
Response:
Hi Blessing,
It is quite apparent that you feel torn in two directions, what your brain is thinking and what your emotions are feeling. I am sorry that this is hard for you to decide. I will give you my opinion and share what God’s word says. My first thought is that you need to start praying about the situation that you are in. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray Without knowing more details, it sounds like you are not wrong to want to date your boyfriend, but your parents, who see things more objectively, are counseling you not to.
You are entertaining the idea of moving in with him, which increases the probability of breaking up or getting married to be divorced. (living together increases the odds of divorce)
Then try to put your emotions to the side for a minute and look at it from the baby’s perspective.
1. What does God want you to do in this situation?
2. Are you willing to have a baby that is not yours in your life, having to share responsibilities with the mother every other week, if that?
3. Do you get along with the mother?
4. How does your boyfriend treat you in general?
5. How does your boyfriend talk about his baby and the baby’s mother?
You have only been dating for less than a year, and it sounds like you are putting your life on hold for him.
If you are having sex with him, my suggestion would be to abstain from sex until he would marry you.
Interestingly, I have done something similar to what you are involved in. Years ago, I dated my daughter’s mother, got her pregnant, and she broke up with me. Life was chaotic.
I am not telling you what to do. You will have to decide for yourself. Re-read what I wrote and think clearly about the questions I asked and the comments I made.
But the one thing I will firmly tell you is to NOT move in with him, especially since you are a Christian. Even if you were not a Christian, I would not suggest moving in together.
I will be praying for clarity in your decision. Remember, whatever you decide will affect your life positively or negatively down the road.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Bill Greguska
I hope that what I have shared helps give you some food to make a wise choice!
Question:
Sometimes I feel like giving up on life. I’m too stressed out. I messed up in my relationship. I feel like nothing is going well for me. Please, Please, Please help!
Casey
Response:
Hi Casey,
There is an expression I would like to share with you that says, “If you keep on doing the same things, you are bound to get the same results.”
- Are you getting enough sleep? Exercise? Eating healthy?
- Do you pray about things like your relationship? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Do you have a close relationship with God?
- Do you tend to say yes to things when you ought to say no?
If you believe your relationship has potential and you are willing to put effort into it, that sounds like a good plan, but if your relationship is a toxic one, maybe it is time to move on if you have done all you can to make it healthy.
I would suggest thinking about my comments, and if you need more help, you can call 800-633-3446 or chat with someone at NeedEncouragement.com/chat. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged; for the Lord, your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I pray that what I have shared will be of help to you! Remember to keep praying!
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hello, I have struggled with alcohol for many years. It would be great to point me to find a person who could talk with me and encourage me.
I love the Lord and have been a Christian my whole life. I have a great desire to be a good wife and mom. I am ready to be free of this. – Rochelle
Response:
Hi Rochelle,
I am delighted that you are ready! I would suggest that you pray about your situation and ask the Lord for His help. Besides God, there is no magic wand to rid yourself of your alcohol problem. If there were, I would tell you, and I would have used it myself!
Without going into treatment, I would strongly suggest considering the following suggestion that has helped me in my recovery. Figure out what makes sense to you and what you think would work. Decide what you will try, and then give it all you have, trusting that God will help you!
- Pray and keep praying each day
- Get back into your Bible
- Start writing a journal
- Find yourself a good church if you do not have one already.
- Rally the troops to help you. Your pastor, best friend, parents, husband, etc.
- Get honest with your husband about your drinking and ask for his help.
- Put a picture of your children in your bathroom mirror to remind you to stay sober.
- Replace drinking with some other activity
- Find an accountability partner
- Find a counselor
- Fill your mind with whatever is good, true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, or praiseworthy. Think about such things.
- Reward yourself when you have gone three days without drinking (ice cream, etc.)
- Reevaluate your diet
- Get proper sleep
- Get exercise each week
- Drink more water
- Chew gum
- Stay out of bars
- Get all alcohol out of your house.
- Avoid all people you have drunk with without exception.
- Consider going to AA or NA meetings.
- Call 800-633-3446
- Visit NeedEncouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs
- Visit NeedEncouragement.com/my-drug-and-alcohol-problem
- Visit NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner
Rochelle, just to inform you. You are in a battle. In other words, you need to know your weapons (God’s word, prayer, fellowship, and the list I made you above ). You need to know your enemy (devil) who is out to kill, steal, and destroy your life.
It would help if you were in this effort 100% because any half effort will not be enough to have victory through my experience. I played games with alcohol and drugs for ten until I got sober and sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Give God a try and the suggestions I have shared with you for 60 days, and you will see for yourself that there is hope and victory just around the corner! I have been clean and sober since June 25, 1986, and if I could do it with God’s help, you can too! I am 58 years old, and I do not miss drinking one bit! God even helped me quit smoking on January 10, 1988. All I know is that God loves us and that God is good!
May God bless you and give you the strength you need. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!
Bill Greguska
Question:
I need advice in a current relationship. I have a complicated relationship, and I need the advice to confront it, and I want to know what to do. It is complicated to explain through text. We were living together with plans of getting married, but now we are separated. I believe The Lord wanted us to separate to make this right, but now it’s just hurt because she lives in another state. Marco
Response:
Hi Marco,
Your relationship with your girlfriend, I can understand, is essential to you, and I think the time away from each other can be a good thing for the two of you to clear your minds and get a better perspective.
I hope you guys can talk problems out so you can get beyond the challenges to the solutions.
You are saying that you want to marry your girlfriend. You need to ask yourself some questions, like, are her goals in life similar to yours? Are you both believers in Jesus Christ? NeedEncouragement.com/get-right-with-god Are your values compatible? How long have you been dating? I would hope for at least one year because anyone can put their best foot forward for six months nine months or even more than a year without any clue that there are any problems.
These are some of the reasons that the divorce rate is so very high. NeedEncouragement.com/divorce Another question for you is, “How is your relationship with God?” Without an understanding of God’s will, you will have problems maintaining a relationship with your girlfriend. Suppose you are serious about your relationship with your girlfriend and she seems interested too. In that case, you might want to step back and determine how realistic your relationship is and if you are compatible enough to get married. If I were you, I would take my time and carefully evaluate things and, in the meantime, keep in touch with her via text messages and phone calls.
I pray that the advice I have given you will be of help to you. Keep praying and seek God for your answers.
Bill Greguska
Question
This person requested that I not share her question or what she wrote about concerning a situation with the suicide of her friend, which is very understandable and personal. So I will only share what I have suggested to her to do while keeping her anonymity.
Response
Hi Anonymous,
First of all, I am sure it helped you already by writing this out. Whenever I put my thoughts on paper, it puts them into perspective. Also, I assure you that I will keep what you have shared private and not put it on the Internet.
Of course, grief is appropriate when someone you have known has taken their life. My former pastor told me once a long time ago that grief is so essential, yet there is a time when grief needs to be let go of. It has been about six months now for you, and I think that depending on how much pain you are still experiencing, you would do well to seek counsel for at least a short time. I do not know all your details, but after six months, you should be experiencing much healing and life returning to the so-called normal, who am I to say, because God created us all differently?
Here are a couple of questions I would like to ask you that I hope will help.
- Do you have someone from your church or the pastor able to talk with you on one at least a few times, or even more if necessary?
- Have you been praying about this situation specifically?
- Are you taking care of your health, eating correctly, sleeping 7-8 hours a night, getting some exercise, avoiding alcohol and drugs?
- Did you do all you could do to help this young woman?
- Did you do anything to make her situation worse?
- Are you keeping yourself busy so you do not have too much time to dwell on negative things?
- If you still feel bad, ask yourself “Why” I do not see anything you did wrong. In your head, the devil is trying to steal, kill, and destroy you mentally. Do not fall for the lies of Satan. Cling to God and resist the devil.
It would be easy for me to say that you ought not to worry about this woman’s suicide. You had nothing to do with it. Your compassion seems to have gotten out of balance. Real it back in continue with your artwork and teaching, and get more involved with your relationship with God. Daily reading your Bible in the morning, memorizing important scriptures, doing some journaling, and having fellowship with your Christian friends.
Yes, having to deal with what you did, is without a doubt, very difficult. But with God, all things are possible. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Grace, I pray that you find the peace that God intends for you to have. Trust in him, and he will show you the way. Remember that when you encourage someone (even though you have your burdens), the encouragement you give to others will encourage you. Trust me. It does work that way!!!
If you still need more help, keep praying, keep reading your Bible, keep going to church, and keep fellowship with other believers, and you still need more help, I suggest that you check out a Christian Life Coach that I think highly of, you can watch her videos for free, but she does charge a reasonable price for the counseling. God bless you and keep you safe,
Bill Greguska
Question:
Please pray for my husband. He does not love or want me anymore. Maybe pray for me because I’m the one that can’t get through the pain. We’ve been married for 45 years.
Response:
Hi Peggy,
I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I can only imagine the pain you are going through after 45 years of marriage. My first thought would be to suggest that you do not give up without knowing more details but rather give this over to God in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray I was married for almost ten years, and my wife moved out and divorced me two years later, so I understand to a degree what you are going through. NeedEncouragement.com/chat, or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who is a trained volunteer Christian counselor. The pain of a suffering marriage can be great, yet I did not divorce my ex because I felt that what God put together let no one pull apart. That was a consolation that I received for being faithful, even though my marriage was dissolved. Keep in mind that the pain of divorce can be as great or even greater in some cases.
You need to tap into your resources of the friendships you have that can offer you some support. Even if your husband does not want to get counsel, I suggest that you go alone to get professional help. In the meantime, continue to pray and lean on your church and support system to get you through this.
If you could go to your husband and tell him that you are sorry and apologize for anything you have done, this might soften his heart and make him look at his part in the marriage problems. (not that you are admitting things were your fault, but opening the door for forgiveness.needencouragement.com/forgiveness. Take things one day at a time and trust that God still has a plan for you and your marriage, even though it seems your husband’s heart has hardened a little, you do not be the one who pursues a divorce. Let it be him if need be, and your conscience will not be as much of a hindrance to you if worse comes to worse.
Be strong not to argue with him, but rather show him love with your words and actions. In the meantime, keep up things in your life the best you can, your diet, get regular 7-8 hours of sleep, exercise, friendships, etc. I pray that whatever got into your husband to so-called not love you anymore, will leave him, and he will come to his senses.
Guard your heart and do not give in to negative thinking. Do what you can do to win him back since he is in some type of fog. If he comes back to loving you, that will be great. If not, at least you did all you could do to keep the marriage alive!
I pray for your marriage and peace in your heart. Trust God, and He will sustain you!
Remember that God loves you, and He will always love you! Keep following the Lord.
Bill Greguska
Question:
I would much like to ask for advice on the situation that I am in.
My boyfriend of three years (James) has become increasingly “emotionally numb” since I moved across the country to him in Northern Virginia six months ago. I love my job at a private high school and am very involved with friends, even though my experience being near James’ family has been painful. We met in college and came from very similar backgrounds (both from families of 8/both faithfully Catholic, etc.). Tension has steadily increased in our relationship since my relocation to where he and his family live. James and I love each other very much, and we both desire to “work things out.” Here is why I am reaching out to you:
James’ mother has never had a conversation with me, avoids me, and acts rude and uncomfortable whenever I have been in her presence. His father is quite silent on the matter and tends to be very risk-averse, but separately supports and encourages James. She (Diane) has only discouraged James in our relationship, and she feels betrayed, rejected, and “left” since he has been in a serious relationship. She has told him that “he doesn’t know what he is doing” and that “she knows women and her judgment should be trusted.”
James is her oldest son, and she will admit that she knows that she has a problem and that she tries to change but doesn’t know how. (At this point, I do not think it is likely that she will change.) James lives at home, and I had seen strong enmeshment indicators within his family three years ago since the beginning of our relationship.
For example, Diane has kindly told James that he could bring me home if he wants, but she will leave the house to bring me over. James seems to see this as a sacrificial act of his mother and “the best that she can do right now.” Or, he will ask me not to come to events where his family is present because he “does not want to deal with it.” The enmeshment is subtle, and they all act very kindly to each other. He has admitted that he feels guilty when he is with me and not with this family or has not recently spent enough time with them. I have been watching him live a double life and believing that he can make this work.
I truly am not a part of his family life or his home… Our relationship leads to a separate compartment of his life, in the same city. He believes that I have been the “cause” of his increased unhappiness and “emotional numbness” because I am the only thing that has changed in his day-to-day life this past year, causing his disjointed experience. How I see it: James is trying to do the impossible by leading a double life, where I, the woman he loves and wants to be with, am separate from his family life. His family’s space and independence have not seemed to be established, even though he is now a successful adult.
It’s an impossible balancing act, where there is no way for him to make everyone happy. In this scenario, I see him believing that he should be happy because he believes he is “doing the right thing” to please everyone. I believe that he is very fearful of “leaving his family” and doesn’t know how to take the steps. Due to that, I believe he will never have a happy and healthy relationship and family with me or any other woman. I do not believe that he is an individual independent adult emotionally. So, all parties have recognized that there is a problem, and my main concern is that James has projected this “problem” or enmeshment onto me.
How can I help this man that I love to start seeing the bigger picture here? How can I love and support him best through this journey?
Response:
Hi Moira,
Answering your questions from a man’s point of view, I think you need just to plan a time to sit down and the two of you talk. Ask him the questions yourself. How can I help this man? I love to start seeing the bigger picture here. How can I love and support him best through this journey?
Here are a few questions to help you think about why your boyfriend’s mother is avoiding you and why things might be affecting your relationship with your boyfriend.
- Have you thought about praying about this situation and reflected on your part of this problem with your boyfriend’s mom and your boyfriend?
- Have you any idea why his mother is keeping her distance from you?
- Have you said or done anything to offend her?
- Does she object that you are dating her son?
- Does she have a problem with your personality or values?
- Are you and James living together? That could be a problem in her eyes if she is a Christian.
- Did you ever think about asking her why she is avoiding you? Or do you think you already know and are not willing to respect her wishes?
- What has your boyfriend told you when you ask him about his mom?
- Has she always been this way?
- When you say you are working things out, what does working things out mean to you?
- When Diane admitted she had a problem, what did she say her problem was? Does she want help with her problem?
I read your email over a few times, and the only real solid suggestion to you would be to sit down, and the two of you, Diane and you, or the three of you, sit down for an hour to start to talk things out.
I asked you the above questions because I thought it would help you reflect on what is going on and give you some insights into your problem. I honestly do not have much to offer you in terms of a solution, except that the two of you (you and Diane) and also (you and James), then together the two of you sit down and talk with Diane to hopefully resolve things out or at least come to some agreements after airing things out in the open.
Bill Greguska
Question:
I need to be able to talk to someone who will listen and give me help. Roger
Response:
Hi Roger,
NeedEncouragement.com is set up primarily for the Internet only.
My first suggestion to you would be to pray to God about your marriage, anger, and how to love yourself. After doing that, I suggest that you call 800-633-3446 and talk to someone there, or you can chat by going to NeedEncouragement.com/chat and following the link to chat. Sometimes people overlook things such as:
- Getting enough sleep.
- A healthy diet.
- Get some regular exercise.
- Avoiding stress by not overcommitting your schedule.
- Unconfessed sin.
- Make sure you have a regular prayer life. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
I hope these suggestions help you. Keep looking to the Lord, for He has the answers!
Bill Greguska
Question:
Tonight my husband and I were knocked down. We discovered that our 14-year-old daughter has been smoking weed, and sneaking around, and now she has claimed that she thinks she is bisexual. Then I found out that my 23-year-old daughter told her that she was. Lord, I don’t know what to do. My heart is breaking, and I don’t know what way to turn. Please pray for my husband and me.
Response:
Hi Janice,
It is very wise that you are reaching out and asking for prayer. I encourage you to continue to do this because prayer is your best line of approach. Have you spoken to your pastor about this yet? Ensure that you and your husband are on the same page when dealing with our daughter(s).
I will pray that these thoughts and actions of your 14-year-old daughter are just passing whims she is going through. If you have a close enough relationship with her, I would suggest sitting down and hearing her side of the story and explaining that God created man and woman to be together. Explain that God has given her free will, yet she does not have the freedom to the consequences of her actions and disobedience with that free will.
Ask your 14-year-old some questions to open discussion. Putting up walls and anger will not be beneficial at this point. For example, with marijuana, peer pressure is very significant, not to mention the impact of marijuana or other drugs and alcohol.
You need to love her and set up some boundaries that she ought not to cross without consequences. She lives in your home and needs to follow the rules like not breaking the civil laws such as smoking marijuana.
Or spiritual laws God has implemented, such as having to do with homosexuality.
Our culture’s youth has elevated things like marijuana, bisexuality, homosexuality, and young people who are curious and searching for their form of truth. Pray for both of your girls and pray for wisdom for yourselves too. Sin comes in many different, and God hates all sin. Try to be patient and understanding with both of your daughters.
.
Do not allow this to turn into a shouting match; keep calm in the spirit, and speak the truth in love. After that, at some point, your hands are going to be tied, and your daughter will make up her mind. Be sure to continue to love her no matter what she chooses. She needs to know that you love her unconditionally even if she makes the wrong choices in life. I am sure you did not grow up without giving your parents any heartbreaking news either.
Keep praying for both your daughters, and love them as God would love them. Put your daughter in an open palm to the Lord and allow Him to work in her heart and her mind. Do not panic; just lean on God a little harder!
May God bless you and make you and your husband stronger during this time as you put your trust and hope in Him.
Bill Greguska
Question:
My fiancé and I are struggling with the idea of sex “outside of marriage.” We firmly believe that Jesus looks to the heart of His people. And if our hearts have made the marriage covenant, they are “married” despite not having an official ceremony. Therefore, sex during engagement is acceptable. Thoughts?
Response:
Hi Elaina,
I am glad you have reached out and asked for advice. First of all, you are not alone. This temptation is common to all couples to some degree or another, but what you do with this temptation will affect your future. If you say that you are engaged to be married, why don’t you wait until you get married?
Dating should be a long-term situation to get to know one another, and engagement should be a short-term situation after fully getting to know each other. I assume you are planning to be married in spring. In that case, wait approximately 150 days or less and start your marriage off on the right foot. Have you brought this concern of yours to God? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray There are more factors to consider. Do you guys attend church together? If so, what do you think your pastor would say about you wanting to have sex before marriage? Have you guys gone through marital counseling already? Has either one of you been divorced in the past? Are you living together?
With the extremely high divorce rate in the United States, you need to go into all of this with both of your eyes open and not be swept away emotionally with the carrot of sex driving your decisions. Divorce is excruciating, something to be avoided at ALL costs! I know what I am saying because I have been divorced.
My thoughts are in agreement with God’s thoughts. So, if you want a straight answer to your question, it would be not to have sex before marriage. For more information, read on.
Yes, Jesus looks at our hearts, but that does not mean he closes His eyes to things that He has established in His teaching. Do you feel you know him long enough and good enough and trust him enough to be committed to you in all areas of life and vice versa? If so, then you guys ought to talk about getting married sooner. If he wants to have sex before you guys are even married, what would stop him from having sex with someone else once you get married? Living your life to honor God with integrity and honesty is so important.
You have mentioned, “We firmly believe that Jesus looks to the heart of His people.” The question I ask you is, “Is your heart wanting to please God or your flesh?” I think you know the answer to your question, and I can not or will not or will not give you counsel to go against God’s word. God has given you both free will to do what you want, but you do not have the freedom to choose the consequences.
You did not mention if both of you are actively practicing your Christian faith or not. If not, that would be even more important to consider than anything else right now before you get married.
I am sorry that I could not condone your desire to have sex before marriage with your fiancé. But I am sure if you bring this to God in prayer, He will give you the strength to be strong and start your marriage off the right way.
I pray that you seek God’s word more clearly and follow His will, not our own will. (you recall what happened in the garden when Adam and Eve did what was right in their own eyes instead of obeying God.)
Bill Greguska
Question:
I am interested in free Christian counseling if you still have it available.
Response:
Good morning Kerry,
Yes, there still is free Christian counseling available on the website. My apology that when you went to NeedEncouragement.com/free-Christian-counseling, I am sorry that I did not have it clearer for you to be able to see how to get “Free Christian Counseling.”
Thanks for pointing that out to me. I went to the back end of the site and fixed that for you and others too. Now you will be able to see more clearly. I hope this helps, and counseling helps also.
Bill Greguska
Question:
I struggle day and day with emotional doubts in myself. These doubts keep killing me with the past’s dark emotional feelings, like a shame that keeps me from being me. It’s just a tough thing to deal with. As I was looking for an answer, I came across this person on YouTube who said that in doubt, I should trust in God, which is Biblically correct. Still, I just want advice on trusting God and having better relationships because now I know God wants a greater revelation.
So that’s what I need advice on which I’m going to be praying a lot because it all started with doubts a whole year ago, and it has taken so much from my life, and all God wanted to do is to help me, and love me, but I just kept. Listening to the dark feelings of depression, anxiety, and shame, I know that God will heal me in the end.
Thank you-
Response:
Hi Steve,
Thank you for reaching out to us. I hope what I share with you will be of help to you. You are not alone. Each human being has some doubts about themselves. Keep in mind who’s the voice you are listening to, whether God’s voice or Satan’s voice. But it sounds to me as though you have been focusing on your weaknesses and doubts more than you have been focusing on God and his strength and power and great love for you. Read this scripture below slowly and try to understand what God is trying to tell you.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Like any relationship here on earth, it takes time, energy, and effort to make it work. You do not ignore your friends, so why do we think that we can ignore God and still have a strong relationship with Him? Here are a couple of ideas that I am sure will get you started in having a better relationship with God:
Keep it Simple
- First thing in the morning, pray and thank God for a new day, invite God to direct your day and confess any sin you may be holding on to. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Open your Bible and read at least three to seven short verses in Proverbs to start with (increase your learning amount as you feel more comfortable doing so). Read as much as you would like to, be sure to read it slowly to understand what it is trying to say to you.
- Eventually, began reading the Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. (I would suggest beginning with the book of John)
- Write a short paragraph based on what you read and anything else you feel a need to say to God or ask God.
- Find a Bible-believing church to attend, and find someone who can help you stay on track. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
I hope this will be a good start for you to begin to rid yourself of depression, anxiety, and shame. Here are three other pages that you might benefit from checking out.
- NeedEncouragement.com/depression
- NeedEncouragement.com/anxiety
- NeedEncouragement.com/shame
I will be praying that you continue to pray, but when you pray, Steve, pray and listen to what God is trying to tell you, and when you read his word. Here is a phone number you can call to talk with someone live at 800-633-3446. Also, here is a link to get started on a chat if you prefer to do that NeedEncouragement.com/chat Also, take some time to look over our website to see other things that might help you.
May God continue to bless and keep you near to Him and make your path more clear to you to follow Him! Don’t give up. Things will get better.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Bill Greguska
Question:
We need to talk ASAP. The relationship ended!
Response:
Hi Ven,
I am very sorry to hear that your relationship ended. Being rejected can be very hurtful. Maybe some misunderstanding between you and your partner happened, and you could work things out. On the other hand, perhaps it was meant to be. Have you taken this to the Lord in prayer? He will give you the comfort that you are looking for if you ask for wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray I know you must be feeling some pain and confusion at this point, but rest assured that in our lives, people can let us down and leave us, but always remember that God will never leave you or forsake you! We do not do phone counseling, but the link for the chat above can help you. Otherwise, you can call 800-633-3446.
May God bless you and comfort you during this time. If you contact your partner, be sure to be very respectful and apologize if you have done them wrong. If they do not want to talk, then pray for them and respect their request. I pray that you find comfort in God’s word, and things will work out in God’s will.
Bill Greguska
My mind seems to be overtaken with sinful thoughts most uncontrollably.
Hi Tracy,
Here are a couple of things for you to think about and consider:
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Do you pray about these habitual sins?
Do you read your Bible?
Do you have fellowship with other believers?
Do you confess your sins to God?
Do you put yourself around situations that are a temptation to you?
Do you have a church you attend?
Do you have a pastor to talk with?
Here are a couple of pages on my website that can be of help to you:
Also, you can call 800-633-3446
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you has been of help to you!
Bill Greguska
Hi there,
I’ve been looking for someone to give me a piece of godly advice regarding a subject that’s been on my mind these past several weeks. Unfortunately, my church’s body helps me as it’s a personal issue, and I haven’t found anyone to chat to about it.
I didn’t want to make a habit of using the internet to solve problems, but I was just hoping you would be available for just a one-time piece of godly advice to a brother.
My wife and I are both in our late thirties, have been saved since our mid-twenties, and have experienced a very fulfilling and blessed relationship both emotionally and spiritually. But, something has been bugging me lately, which my mind can’t seem to switch off from.
My wife is 39 and is in great physical shape, she has always had a real woman’s body: powerful thighs, big round hips, and buttocks, and she takes care of herself. But the thing that’s bugging me is that she wears these leggings when she’s out in public. They aren’t see-through or anything, but they are very body-hugging, tight, and revealing her lower body; every curve is displayed when she wears them.
I don’t know why but for some reason, I feel very insecure and start to feel very jealous when I notice other guys in public or at the grocery store staring at her buttocks or checking out her lower half – there is a lot to check out. I wondered if you could tell me from a spiritual perspective if I am sinning by feeling jealous. I don’t want to feel this feeling, and it would help tremendously if you could clarify for me if it is, in fact, a sin; that way, I can fight it with scripture.
I don’t want to tell my wife what to wear. I just want to feel normal when she wears these leggings – almost every other woman wears them in public, so why do I feel strangely jealous when she does?
I hope you can help me with this problem. I have prayed about it, but I can’t seem to find any answers, and as I say, there is no one else to talk to.
Blessings,
Ben
Response:
Hi Ben,
What you are saying is right on the money. First of all, you are NOT sinning by having feelings of jealousy in this case, and if you did not have those feelings, I would be more concerned. The ones that are sinning are the ones who look at your wife lustfully. My daughter did something similar years ago, and when I confronted her, she told me that it was not her problem but the guy’s problem. Maybe your wife is not even aware of what she is doing and how men are wired. This is what I suggest you do:
- Pray about it. needencouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Talk to your wife about it.
- If your wife does not like what you say, tell her how you feel, offer her to buy her some new clothes, and explain how men I wired to be visually stimulated, which is different from how women are stimulated.
- If your wife still does not like what you say, do not make an argument, but rather bring it to your pastor as a concern for your marriage.
Remember, you are a man in your house, but be sure you are a gentleman dealing with this potentially delicate subject in all circumstances. I hope what I have shared with you will help you and your wife!
May God bless you and your marriage and that your wife has ears to hear, and also she understands that you love her, and you want the best for her and your marriage!
Bill Greguska
More:
Thanks for your message, but let me put it another way. If your wife wore tight, thin leggings in public that showed off her lower half, wouldn’t you feel any pang of anger or jealousy overseeing other guys ogle it and want her to wear something else because her body belongs to you and you alone? Or would you say that feeling was a sin?
Response:
Hi Ben,
I do not know what else I can tell you, except to re-read the email that I sent you. But read it a little slower. I am sorry I was not 100% clear to you, but if she does not listen to what you say about how she dresses, contact your pastor, and the three of you can talk things out.
Go for the solution rather than being stuck on the problem. Take this to God in prayer first, then talk with your wife, and then talk with your pastor if she is unwilling to change her ways.
I am sorry that you have to deal with this but be patient, praying that things will work out.
Bill Greguska
Question:
Hi, I’d like to help with my relationship with God. In the summer of 2018, I’ve been the closest to God, but now I’ve lost faith. I feel like the reason why behind this is because of the stress and time from school. I’m not sure what to do, but I don’t feel a connection with him at all anymore. Please help.
Response Letter:
Hi Nina,
I would suggest that you pray to God and rekindle that relationship that still is there but has been overlooked. He has not gone anywhere; it is we who turn our backs on him. He loves us and will forgive us as a loving Father would.
Ask yourself what got in the way of your relationship with God. Often some of the things that get between God and us are our flesh, money, laziness, complacency, lack of prayer, Bible reading, and I would say most of all, sin. Is there any sin in your life that is not confessed and repented from?
Whatever it may be, confess it to God and turn from it. As it says in 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I pray that your passion for God returns as you humble yourself to God, and I know that He will greet you with open arms.
Bill Greguska
800-633-3446
Question:
(Two questions for you)
Do people go to hell because of self-perception?
Do people go to hell because they committed suicide?
Lulu
Response Letter:
Hi Lulu,
I wanted to answer both of your questions, but for the first question I did not understand precisely what you were trying to say, but I can tell you this though, the only way to go to hell would be to reject Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. We are all sinners, every last one of us, but if we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, hell is not an option.
I got this information from an excellent website that I like, and often use, which is called GotQuestions.org. I hope and pray that what I have shared with you has answered your questions!
Bill Greguska
Question:
“If a Christian commits suicide, is he/she still saved?”
Response Letter:
It is a sad fact that some Christians have committed suicide. Adding to the tragedy is the false teaching that committing suicide automatically consigns one to hell. Many believe that a Christian who commits suicide will not be saved. This teaching is not supported in the Bible.
Scripture teaches that we are guaranteed eternal life from the moment we truly believe in Christ (John 3:16). According to the Bible, Christians can know beyond any doubt that they possess eternal life (1 John 5:13). Nothing can separate a Christian from God’s love (Romans 8:38–39). No “created thing” can separate a Christian from God’s love, and even a Christian who commits suicide is a “created thing”; therefore, not even suicide can separate a Christian from God’s love. Jesus died for all of our sins, and if a true Christian, in a time of spiritual attack and weakness, commits suicide, his sin is still covered by the blood of Christ.
According to the Bible, suicide is not what determines whether a person gains entrance into heaven. If an unsaved person commits suicide, he has done nothing but “expedite” his journey to hell. However, that person who committed suicide will ultimately be in hell for rejecting salvation through Christ, not because he committed suicide (see John 3:18).
However, we should also point out that no one truly knows what was happening in a person’s heart when he or she died. Some people have “deathbed conversions” and accept Christ in the moments before death. It is possible that a person who commits suicide could have a last-second change of heart and cry out for God’s mercy. We leave such judgments to God (1 Samuel 16:7).
The suicide of a believer is evidence that anyone can struggle with despair and that our enemy, Satan, is “a murderer from the beginning” (John 8:44). Suicide is still a serious sin against God. According to the Bible, suicide is murder; it is always wrong. Christians are called to live their lives for God, and the decision of when to die is God’s and God’s alone.
May God grant grace and the psalmist’s perspective to each one who is facing trials today: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 43:5).
Question:
I’m having relationship issues. My man misunderstood God and ended the relationship. I need God to pls speak to him and bring us back before my birthday. We’re ready for a Fresh Start with God as the foundation.
Response Letter:
Hi Bello,
I am sorry to hear you are going through a relationship problem. My first thought would be to suggest that you take this relationship issue to God in prayer. Be patient and calm.
You might want to write him a short detailed letter explaining why you believe he misunderstood God. Write it out for him. Let him read it, and then you can have something to talk over. You might want to wait at least a day or two to give him the letter.
After you talk on the phone, then talk in person would be the way to deal with things.
My pastor’s wife told me something very wise I like to share with you. Keep your boyfriend and everything and everyone in an open palm often. The problem is that we hold on too tightly to people and things. Allow God to work in your boyfriend’s heart and your heart in the next few days to see what develops.
I pray that you guard your heart and trust that God will work out things the way He knows best how to do.
Bill Greguska
Thank you so much. This brought relief to me. I plead that you also join me in prayers pls.
Thank you
Hi Bello,
I pray that God restores your relationship with your boyfriend. It that is your will, Lord. If not, I pray that Bello will find her strength in you, Lord, and the people in her life. Bello would love for the relationship to get back together and have it based on you, God. Hear her plea Lord and give her what she needs.
800-633-3446
Bill Greguska
Thank you, that means a lot.
Hi Ben,
What you are saying is right on the money. First of all, you are NOT sinning by having feelings of jealousy in this case, and if you did not have those feelings, I would be more concerned. The ones that are sinning are the ones who look at your wife lustfully. My daughter did something similar years ago, and when I confronted her, she told me that it was not her problem but the guy’s problem. Maybe your wife is not even aware of what she is doing and how men are wired. This is what I suggest you do:
- Pray about it. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Talk to your wife about it.
- If your wife does not like what you say, tell her how you feel, offer her to buy her some new clothes, and explain how men I wired to be visually stimulated, which is different from how women are stimulated.
- If your wife still does not like what you say, do not make an argument, but rather bring it to your pastor as a concern for your marriage.
Remember, you are a man in your house, but be sure you are a gentleman dealing with this potentially delicate subject in all circumstances. I hope what I have shared with you will help you and your wife!
May God bless you and your marriage and that your wife has ears to hear, and also she understands that you love her, and you want the best for her and your marriage!
Bill Greguska
Question:
Do you provide any online or over-the-phone counseling? I could use some, and so could my husband, separately.
Response Letter:
Hi Traci,
I do not do extended online or over-the-phone counseling myself, even though I answer some questions when people write to me. I am a Christian who offers advice to those who inquire with the wisdom from God’s word, the Bible, and my personal life experiences of 58 years, although I am not a counselor who digs deep down with extended visitations.
Here are some very encouraging videos by Kris Reece Also, here are some excellent pages from my website that can also be of help to you both
- NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage
- NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
- NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-relationship
- NeedEncouragement.com/good-marriage
I hope and pray that what I have shared with you is helpful to you and your husband. I pray that your marriage strengthens and you can love one another like you did before you were married. Do not give up on your marriage as so many others do. God hates divorce.
God bless you both,
Bill Greguska
Question:
I don’t know how to start. I don’t know why I am doing this either. In all retrospect, this seems like a stupid idea, and that is coming from me, a 13-year-old girl who has made multiple stupid choices in the entirety of my life. I believe that I am sending this because I just want someone to listen. I believe I am doing this also for forgiveness and not just from God. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, that’s what people do when they sin right, they confess, and they beg for forgiveness of a person whom they don’t even know exists (please don’t get me wrong, a Catholic mother raised me, so of course I believe in God).
So allow me to confess, I have committed 7 things the commandments have said not to do. I have lied constantly, manipulated, and tricked many people, even those closest to me. I have thought about suicide. I have thought of many things. Growing up, my mother abused me. As a child, I sometimes prayed for her, but now it seems they pray for me.
My mother believes that God punishes my family for our sins since my father lost his job, my sister almost lost her vision, I possibly repeated school, etc. She took me one time to church to talk to God. I had no idea what to say. Sometimes I do believe that it is a punishment from God for my sins. I feel corrupted somehow, compelled to learn about evil( ex. I have been obsessed with learning and reading about demons for the past 4 or 5 years, but I don’t because I’m too scared to). I feel depressed from within. I feel trapped, only able to accept the choice already made for me. I believe that is why I doubt Catholicism.
It only shows one side of the story (God’s side) and not the story’s satan side. We don’t know what truly happened. We can only believe that it is true. I can’t help but doubt if a God was so forgiving. Why do people go to hell? I can’t help but doubt it. Please forgive me, but I turned to God whenever I was in trouble, so why should I not turn to him now? Father, help me, for I think I am damned.
Honorine
Response Letter:
Hi Honorine,
I am glad you reached out to share what is going on in your life. Since you believe in God and love you, you are not dammed. You have merely taken the wide road offered by the world and the devil, but you still have time to get on the narrow road, which leads to life.
First of all, I encourage you to take time right now to pray to God, He has not turned His back on you. It is us who turn our back on Him. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray Next, I encourage you to do what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
It sounds like you have a lot on your heart and mind that you are dealing with. I understand what you are saying about the Catholic church. You might want to find a protestant Bible-believing church to attend if possible. If not, since you are so young, I encourage you to check out our website, watch some good Christian videos, and check out the many pages on different topics we have. Needencouragement.com/false-religions. I pray for you right now that you can ask God to give you wisdom and direction in your life. I pray that you do not become overwhelmed with too many things all at the same time. Walk with the Lord, read your Bible, and begin a close relationship with Him. You are not alone, God is with you (Emanuel), and He will put the right people in your path to accomplish His will in your life!
Bill Greguska
Subject: “I’m feeling guilty about what I have said to several loved ones in my life.”
Message Body:
My son has been estranged from me for over 5 years.
I was a single mom and did the best I could with him juggling raising him and work. I let him have it the other day. I’ve tried to love him and have tried tough love. Neither has worked. Also, I have had one Christian friend whom I said some awful things to last week. I made amends to her, but I feel like there is a big rift between us. She has been on the mission field and seems like a strong believer.
Also, she has been my caregiver for 5 years. I finally had to let her go because she always came to me for financial assistance besides her normal pay. I believe her husband or her family should help her, not me. I disagree with her gambling issue and have helped her out over the years. I had a gambling problem myself and understand how hard it is to break away.
My dad gave all his children an inheritance, and I don’t feel right about giving her extra cash, but I still feel bad about the whole thing. She now is free to do her own thing, like Bible Study without me, go to Church with me, or any else she wants to do She is a wonderful person, and I still love her as a friend. I get this awful feeling that things aren’t right between us.
I resent the fact that she comes to me when she needs financial help. I can’t do it anymore.. period. My inheritance was given to me, and I saw her spend her whole paycheck on gambling. It breaks my heart to see my dad’s hard-earned money wasted away. I know it’s very wrong to feel resentful. I’m in a dilemma about whether to keep helping her even though she is married and her family is more capable of helping her out. I need help with these two issues in my life.
Hi Lucy,
I am glad you have reached out to us. It almost sounds to me in your writing that you are almost answering your questions.
As far as your son, if you have done all you could, just turn the page and wait on the Lord to make the possible next move, all relationships are not reconciled, but we need to listen to the instruction in the following scripture.
Romans 12:18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
As far as your friend with the gambling problem, you are making it to become your problem. That is wrong. You are enabling her, and as you said, she has a family who needs to be aware of what is going on. You can blame me if it helps you that you contacted some this weekend and he suggested that you do not give her more money.
It sounds like you have a big heart, and your son has crushed it, and your friend is taking advantage of you. Please pray about this, and I am sure the Lord will want you to forgive your son for whatever your part in the problem was, and leave it at that.
Remember, not helping a friend with a gambling problem does not mean you are cruel or bad; you are just wise, even though it is uncomfortable for you to do so.
Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
You will be happy that you did. If what I have shared has been helpful and you have more to say, feel free to contact me via email.
My God bless you and help you take the narrow gate.
Bill Greguska
Subject: I’m scared I committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit
Message Body:
I’m scared cause I have evil thoughts about God, and not only that, I’m scared I may have said something bad about God in the past, and I’m scared cause I don’t want to go to hell.
Hi Vincent,
Have to take this to God in prayer? That would be my first and foremost advice to you.
I noticed that you said, I may have said something bad about God in the past.” Keep in mind that you are human with a human mind and emotions, and if you did say something in anger, you can come to Jesus in prayers and confess your sin.
It says in 1 John 1:9 that If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
It is an excellent sign that this issue is bothering you and that you seem to want to make things right with God so you can be with Him in heaven rather than hell. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
If what I have shared with you has been helpful and you would like to talk to me more about this, please email me back.
God bless you!
Bill Greguska
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—–Original Message—–
I allowed my grown daughter to move in with my granddaughter, who was 2 years old last year. I left for vacation in Georgia and came back home to find her and her boyfriend whom she’s only known for two months on my own. I was told that they were staying here the week that I was gone. I also found beer in the house. I am a Christian woman. I do not allow men to stay in my home, and I do not allow alcohol in my home. My daughter knows this, and she straight out didn’t care about it. What should I do? I want her out of my house.
Hi,
I am glad you have reached out to talk to us about this before doing anything. God’s word says in Proverbs 15:22 that Plans fail for lack of counsel, but they succeed with many advisers. You are in a difficult situation, but the answer is relatively straightforward. I hope what I share with you makes it more clear to you. It is not a simple answer, but God’s word will shine the light you need to the right decision. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
The first thing I suggest you do is take this concern of yours to God in prayer. I am sure he will give you the wisdom you need to deal with this problem.
As for me, I would suggest that you sit your daughter down and tell her what you will allow and what you will not allow in your house and the reason why (this might impact her conscience and make her understand what she did was wrong. If this works, you have won her over.
But if it does not work, and she gives you an argument, you need to calmly remind her that the house she is living in is yours. If she still puts up a fuss, tell her you will give her one last chance to prove herself, and as my big brother, who is 15 years older than I am, used to tell me when I used to get in trouble and was disobedient, he used to say, you make your bed and you will sleep in it.
Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
If the worst comes to worst (which we pray does not happen), try to give her a 30-day notice, and in doing so, she might come to her senses and realize she has it made, living with you.
I had two kids myself, one natural and one stepson. The motto that I tried to base my parenting on was FIRM, FAIR, FUN. That always seemed to guide me through difficult times.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.
I hope what I have shared with you has been of help. If so, and you would like to email me back with anything else, please feel free to do so.
Remember, a carpenter uses the right size hammer to get the job done, so that is why I am suggesting that you stay calm. Remember that you are the mother, you are in control, and it is your home, yet don’t forget that you love your daughter, and doing something harsh might have long-lasting regrets.
I have confidence that you will do fine. I pray that the Holy Spirit leads you and that you do not lend your lips to the devil out of anger. You can calmly deal with this, set up a time you both are free to talk, and be assertive and loving to your daughter!
You need to pray to God and decide what YOU are going to do, as it says in:
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
May God bless you and give you wisdom, strength, and a confident, calm spirit in dealing with your daughter.
Bill Greguska
P.S. You might also wish to look back to when we were kids and the mess we got ourselves into. If you had a good mom and dad as I did, they were upset with me, but always God directed them to know how to deal with me. How about you? Please let me know how things turned out, even if you do not need any more advice. I will be praying for you! Keep it in mind, and this could be a good learning experience for your daughter and draw her near to the Lord!
Subject: Marital issues
Message Body:
Hey, I’m having issues with my husband. We got married fast, and I love him, but there’s a side to him I didn’t notice at the beginning of our relationship, and that’s that he’s impatient and reactive. He’s spent years abusing drugs like pills, and it could be a side effect. He is Christian and loves God, but I’m afraid he isn’t aware of people’s outbursts. He has the right to be upset, but it’s as if it happens way too often and aggressively. I’m feeling tired of bringing it up to him and praying about it. I don’t know what to do, but it’s leading me to think have I made a mistake marrying him? Why did God not show me this side of him before? Or was I too blind to have noticed it?
He’s aware of his reactions, and he’s gone through too many therapies in the past. When he was a kid, his biological mother was left at 2, and his stepmom physically abused him. He says he’s forgiven them, but maybe that’s why he’s still angry. As much as he’s reactive, he’s also very loving and caring.
Advice, prayers, and ears to hear me out are appreciated right now. Thank you for helping out. God bless you in Jesus’ name.
Amen
Hi Bianca,
When you say that you have been having issues with your husband, that does not surprise me. I say that because whenever you get two sinners (saved by God’s grace or not, there are bound to be sparks flying.
I would try to get your eyes off your husband’s shortcomings and set your eyes on the Lord to help you find out what you can do to help your marriage. If anything, we ought to look at our shortcomings and how we can improve. (I am not taking his side, but most people when we get a little older get set in their way, so trying to “FIX HIM” will be MUCH harder than asking God to make you better, you will win him over to you faster that way than trying to fix him, believe me!!!
I believe you say that he is “impatient and reactive” and that he abused drugs in the past. Since you married him, your job is to be his helpmate. By that, I mean, encourage him and build him up. Do you try not to engage in issues that are so very minor that tend to make him reactive? Have you been doing that?
You also mention that he is “very loving and caring.” You need to tell him how very loving and caring he is. Give him examples of what you mean when you say that he is “very loving and caring?”
If what I have said to you has been helpful, please email me if you have more to say.
May God bless you both, and you can both have more patience and understanding in your marriage!
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–
Subject: Coping with Breakup
Message Body:
I broke up with my bf yesterday because he was yelling at me and left in a rage and wouldn’t pick up the phone when he left. He’s not even sorry, and it seems like he doesn’t care how much he hurts me.
Hi Sara,
Of course, I do not know all the details, but it sounds like he has shown his anger one too many times with you. If I were you, I would not try to even think about it right now until things cool off, get some sleep, and take care of yourself. He had no right to yell and leave in a rage, but maybe when he comes to his senses, he might humbly come to apologize to you. If not, maybe it is for the best to leave him.
You do not want to be married to someone who treats you like that, especially while you are still dating. Maybe this is a blessing, sort of speak, but maybe when he regains his mind, you might willing to at least listen to his side of the story. We all can lose our cool sometimes, right, but if you think this is a regular pattern with him, maybe saying goodbye is the right thing. Breaking up can be very hard!
Please pray about this and see what your boyfriend does in the next few days.
A couple of things to remember in life:
- Always use your head and guard your heart.
- God commands us to forgive one another, yet reconciliation is not a command.
- If you are not a Christian, I suggest that you take a look at my website and see if it speaks to you in any special way. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/
If what I have shared with you has been helpful, feel free to email us back if you need to say more. I pray that you leave your relationship in an open palm to God and allow God to direct your path. God will never leave you or treat you like that!
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–
Subject: Bored. Other
Message Body:
It seems like family, and friends are so scared about these perilous times that no one wants to stay in touch. It seems like people are getting more self-centered. As a believer, I realize Jesus is with me but thought God gave us fellowship in this life unless God wants me alone this way. A disabled Christian family should be more caring. But with. plus, I’m not sure where God wants me to go live as I’m almost poor. I never wanted to be homeless and have tried to apply for work. parents gone life seems a bit gloomy
A Christian friend seems too busy to advise as he used to. He is overseas.
Does God separate people from me or set me apart from them?
Hi Matt,
You have some excellent questions. I am not sure if I can answer them the way you need, but I know who does, and that is God Himself!
Reading your email, my first thought was that since others are not stepping up to the plate in social areas, why don’t you take the initiative to contact them on the phone, write a letter, send an email, and start up some conversations? Since you mentioned God, I assume that you have a relationship with God. You say you do not have people to care for you, but keep in mind that God cares for every one of us! You can cast your worries onto His shoulders, as it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
If what I have shared has been of help to you, feel free to email me back if you would like to mention anything else.
God bless you, keep you company, calm your spirit, and walk with you each day!
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–
Subject: Prayer
Message Body:
I feel like I have lost my salvation. Words can fully describe how scared, sick, alone, and helpless I feel. It is constant, and I cannot go on this way.
Hi Sandra,
Remember that feelings are not facts. Why in the world would you think you have lost your salvation? Even if you did commit a huge sin, God’s grace is sufficient.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Once we are saved, nobody or nothing can snatch us out of God’s hand. How long have you been saved?
Here is a scripture to give you some encouragement and assurance of your salvation.
Romans 10:9-10 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.
Pray to God right now, and tell God what is on your heart, do not listen to the lies of the devil. The devil is our enemy and wants to kill, steal, and destroy our lives.
Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains.
Fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
God bless you!
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–
Subject: under attack
Message Body:
I have been returning to the Lord for two years now. In the last year, I have been reduced to not having enough to eat and no water. The local cop tried to arrest me and accused me of being a meth addict. The people around here all think I’m something I’m not. I keep trying to show apples, and they see pinecones. I’m so broke. I eat every other day. I thought I was living right and asking for God’s help. It’s starting to feel like he isn’t listening anymore.
Hi Ellis,
It sounds like you kind of hit bottom and are looking for a way back up. Have you prayed and asked God what He wants you to do? Is there someone you know who can help you get your feet back on the ground? How about your church? Is there anyone you could talk with and get some help from? You seem to be having doubts about God, but believe me, God is real, and He loves you and has a plan for your life, not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future. Have you been living your life for the Lord? If not, He will always welcome you back with open arms.
You might want to google local shelters and food pantries so you can at least start to eat healthy and get your strength back. In the meantime, keep praying and try to understand what God is calling you to do at this time in your life. I will pray for you that God opens up the right doors for you and closes the ones that will lead you to nowhere.
Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
God bless you,
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–
Subject: Detrimental Family Matters
Message Body:
hi there! I need some assistance with a decision. My mother has been dealing with meth addiction for as long as I can remember. My siblings and I have dealt with it for years. We’ve been taken away once before when I was about 9. Anyway, it’s reached the point where we barely have hygiene supplies in our bathroom. It’s almost a privilege to have toilet paper now. My younger siblings don’t attend school much because my mother and her boyfriend don’t care enough to make an effort.
The school principal had to come to our house today. My mom does meth every week. There’s no “only on the weekends” anymore. It’s whenever she gets money from her boyfriend. And they’ve been in countless domestic fights. Police have been involved many times. Anyway, I don’t know if I should make an anonymous CPS call or give it to God. I pray on it every day, but it’s just something nagging at me 24/7. I can’t focus on schoolwork. I’m a senior now. And I feel this year deserves my effort. I think I’ll just end this here. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, by the way. I just don’t know what to do.
Best Regards,
Hi Karina,
Thanks for reaching out to us. I saw your email early this afternoon, but I wanted to put more thought and prayer into it before responding to you after reading it.
I noticed that you mentioned God in your email. I take it that you are a Christian. I am sure you must wonder why God is allowing this to happen to you and your siblings. First of all, I would suggest that you keep praying and sincerely ask God what He wants you to do. Pray for your mother, yourself, and your siblings. I can understand that you are in a terrible situation. What do you think about trying to get drug treatment help for your mother? Would she possibly cooperate, or is she still pretty strongly active in her addiction?
Please do me a favor, if it ever gets to the point where you feel you or your siblings are in danger, please do not hesitate to contact 911. In the meantime, do your best to focus on your schoolwork, and try to be a good role model for your siblings. I am sorry that you have to be experiencing this, but keep in mind that God is in control, so keep close to God and use the good brains that He has blessed you with to do good!
If what I have shared has been helpful, please contact me if you have more questions or need more help!
I will be praying for you, and I trust that God will be watching over you. So try to keep calm and trust God!
This scripture has given me strength and encouragement many times in my life…
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Bill Greguska
—–Original Message—–
Subject: Life, Love, Family & Salvation
Message Body:
Hello, my name is Charles. I am contacting need encouragement representatives to gain more insight on my “walk” and communing with God and his people.
Hi Charles,
I am glad you contacted us. What do you mean specifically when you say, “to gain more insight on my “walk” and communing with God and his people.”
- Have you prayed about this, and if so, what do you believe God wants you to learn more about or change in your life?
- Have you talked to anyone else, and if so, what did they tell you?
Please feel free to email us back with more specifics to be of help to you.
Bill Greguska