Response Letters 2
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I am Hopeless after divorce and abuse by my husband, I need help and counseling
Without knowing more about what you are dealing with specifically, I can tell you that God can and will help you when you call out to Him in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray that would be my first suggestion.
Do you attend church regularly, if you do not have a church and would like to find one that could help you with fellowship and hearing God’s word spoken to you each week.
You would also benefit from doing some reading from your Bible, a good book to start in would be Proverbs, or 1 John, but actually, you would benefit from just about anywhere you started to read.
- Are you eating healthy? Are you getting enough sleep?
- Be sure you get some exercise, drink plenty of water, and reach out to close friends, do not isolate yourself.
- Are you feeling rejection still? NeedEncouragement.com/rejection
- Are you holding on to resentments? NeedEncouragement.com/forgiveness
You say that you need counseling, I would suggest finding a counselor by Monday because if you procrastinate you might not ever get the help you need. Keep praying for yourself and I will pray for you too. I pray that God gives you wisdom and peace of mind knowing that you are His child and He has a plan for your life.
Thanks. I need to speak to someone in NeedEncouragement as I don’t know what to do in future.
Have you prayed about this since I responded to you earlier? I am a Christian and the advice I gave you is about as much as I can offer you at this time. Please find yourself a counselor and keep on praying.
I pray that you try to do what the Bible says in Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
You can call 800-633-3446 and talk to someone who can give you more help. Please re-read what I wrote to you and try to follow my suggestions.
God bless you,
I was praying and trusting God for a wife and God brought my wife into my life in 2012. Once we got to know each other, we realized that we had some genetic incompatibility that could affect our children should we go forward. We fasted and prayed to seek the Lord’s will and sought some Christian counsel to know if God was telling us to not marry or trust him. All the counsel we received was to go forward and trust God. I really fasted and prayed as well just to be sure I heard God clearly. I believed I heard God clearly at that time that he wanted us to move forward in faith and that all will be well. My wife had the same conviction too.
We had our first and second child, and they both have the genetic disease that we knew was a possibility. To make matters worse the chances of each child having the disease is one out of four children. The doctors said our case is unfortunate for both our children to have the sickness. The first three years were God as we were still holding on to faith that God will see us through and that his will, will be done. However, the last year and a half have really been a struggle as the weight of caring for them began to wear on us. My wife and I have found ourselves questioning the goodness of God and why he did not lead us from the troubles since we really wanted direction and open to his instruction when deciding to get married.
To make matters worse, we even found out our Children’s condition could have been avoided if we had sought the counsel of a genetic counselor and have children through IVF. I’ve always been a practical person even with my faith, and I felt like I did not apply wisdom in the biggest decision of my life (outside my salvation). My children get sick a lot as a result of the decision I made. There’s hardly a day I don’t think about the decision and how things could have been different if I had just spoken to a genetic counselor instead of a spiritual counselor. It’s really affected my ability to pray and trust God. I feel like God was absent and did not guide me when I really needed his direction the most. I feel guilty, and it has affected everything around me, and I’m just not sure how to move forward. I’m spending tonight writing this in the hospital because my daughter is not well and it goes back to the decision I made. It looks like my whole life revolves around just one bad decision, and my children will bear the results even after me. I believe God can heal them, but I don’t even have faith in God right now because of my trust issues. The year 2018 has been the worst year I can remember in every aspect and most especially in my spiritual walk. It’s like my relationship with God just disappeared. I’ve not moved of the things of God anymore because of the constant guilt/hurt and unanswered questions. I really cannot reconcile my reality with the promises I believe God made me.
Somehow I need to know how to break free from where I am.
I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling, yet I encourage you to stand firm knowing that God is in control. He will not give you and your family (and me) more than we can handle without a way out from under it. Pray to God for His guidance and His grace. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Try to make the best of what is going on, reach out to your church for support and the community for any assistance they too may offer. Remember what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.
I will pray that you and your wife can find peace in your situation and that God watches over your children. We all have regrets in our life, but if we are wise, we cast our sorrows on to the Lord and not pick them up again.
No matter if God heals them or not, that ought not to affect your opinion of the Greatness of God. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, so please do not lose heart. Instead, pray each day and also fast pleading to God for healing. Remember that God is good all the time, all the time God is good. Again, I am sorry to hear that you all are struggling, this all must be very challenging for you.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself, your wife and kids. Find your support from your church or Christian counselor who could walk with you through your difficulties.
May God bless you, and keep you and your family safe and healthy.
I just got married and I’m pregnant. We have a blended family. All our children are under 10. We each have 2 young children. My husband and I have difficulty communicating and he said he won’t speak to me until I get a counselor because I don’t listen to him. Being ignored is deeply hurting me. So we really need help. How soon can we speak to someone? We are both saved/believers.
Maybe look at it that your husband wants to talk with you, but is afraid that it would not be productive without a counselor involved. If you can use this time to talk more about superficial things until you get yourselves a counselor, that might be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes taking a temporary rest from deep involved conversations that so often turn into arguments, could be just what you guys need.
Keep in mind that both I and your husband are men and we do not understand what you must be going through being pregnant and being a woman. Trust that your husband loves you and is trying to do his very best. I do not know the whole story, but it sounds like your husband loves you and wants the best for both of you and your children!
You might not like what he is proposing, but if you step back and think, maybe he has a great idea. Talk about other things, go to a movie, take a walk, play a board game, laugh and enjoy life. Life is too short to take so seriously.
You can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a trained Christian counselor that might help shed some more light on your situation.
May God bless you while you go through this struggle, I will pray for peace, wisdom, trust, and love between the two of you!
Response Back To Me
Thank you so much. Yes, I completely agree with you. I would be open to speaking about superficial things, he completely ignores me though. Like no speaking at all as if I don’t exist. It hurts me so deeply and I feel so alone here already because I just moved from Canada. I do believe all you said is true, I just wish he wouldn’t ignore me like that. I’m really hurting about it. I feel to just leave for a few days rather walk around the apartment and be ignored. It scares me too because it’s so painful. I’m really praying and asking God to help me and be with me in this tough time. I really need the Lord to do that for me.
Do not lose heart, trust that God put you together with your husband and God will be faithful to complete what He has started. Have faith that things will be okay, and get yourself a counselor asap. Don’t forget to lean on your other friends in the meantime. I pray that you get a counselor by no later than Monday okay? Please make this a top priority!
Thank you so very much for ministering to me. Is there any way possible you can talk to the two of us Monday morning or afternoon? This is so important, for us and of course our very young children. My number is
No, I am very sorry we do not do that, you will need to get yourself a counselor as I suggested.
Or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a trained Christian counselor that might help shed some more light on your situation until you get a real counselor as I suggested.
God bless you,
My name is Carlos, I need HELP coping and knowing how to deal with my current situation with my wife. She seems to be in love with a guy who used to be my friend (even though she says he’s just a friend), I treated him like a son, lived with us for a few months but I know they’ve been having an inappropriate relationship for more than a year. They both betrayed my trust and even though we’ve been separated for four months (living in the same house but sleeping in different rooms) things have not changed and as a matter of fact, she has changed even more. She is still keeping contact with this fella even after I asked him to leave my house and stay away from my wife; apparently, she looked for him and he hasn’t been able to resist the temptation. I’m pretty sure they have been intimate (especially since she goes out and sometimes doesn’t come back home until the following day). She says she likes her freedom especially now that she works. I’m pretty sure she has been seeing this guy who gives her all kinds of gifts and money. She has become very ambitious. The worst part is that we have two teenage boys and a five-year-old daughter who is suffering a lot from all this ordeal. I don’t know what to do, I’ve prayed and have been lovely with her and she makes me feel at times that things could be worked out but since I feel she is probably in love with this other guy she says she is not ready to recommit to God or me. I asked her to cut all ties with this guy but she says she won’t because he’s a really good friend. She was born in the faith but is mad at God for many reasons and does not want to know anything about God. I feel trapped and don’t know what to do.
I am very sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. Without knowing all the important details, I am thinking that a counselor is very appropriate at this time.
You are only speculating with a couple of things you mentioned, yet I am understanding your thinking. I would feel jealous too. But what can you do to make things better?
- The first thing I would suggest would to pray about this situation and pray with her too. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- The second thing is to physically un-divide your house and get back in the same bedroom with your wife asap (today if possible). Four months is too long to withdraw from one another. You are setting the stage to get either a separation or divorce if you do not do something soon, maybe make yourself more available to your wife so that this other guy would not get so much of your wife’s attention. Have you been treating your wife in a loving respectful manner?
- The third thing I would suggest would be to get a counselor asap preferably a Christian counselor. Set this up Monday and do not procrastinate doing this.
Feel free to call 800-633-3446 and talk to a trained Christian counselor. You got to do all you can to keep your marriage together, you have to fight for your marriage, otherwise, the devil will sneak in and break apart the two of you. It will take some work, but it is much less work than dealing with a divorce, which I went through in 2007. I will be praying for you and you pray too!
Since you wrote into me, I have faith that you can handle this situation, otherwise, why would you even ask for help in the first place. I am telling you that you just need God to show you what to do, how to do it, and believe that He can reconnect your marriage and family.
All you can do is to do all you can do, part of this will be determined by your wife. (when was the last time you bought her flowers or took her out to eat or anything else that she would like to do? That might be a helpful start to show her in a material type way that you love her.
God bless you and keep close to God and stay calm!
Check out these links, they might be helpful to you.
I have been addicted to porn and masturbation am a Christian hope to find one of your free counseling or one of your Christian friend who is going to be dedicated to helping me I really want to change cos I love God but porn has been holding me back sometimes I feel like I will never get free I hope you help me
I am very glad you contacted us, just to let you know that pornography is an addiction besides being a sin. The good thing is that you want help with this issue. Just to let you know that there is help for all sins, God does not look at one sin bigger than another, all sin is sin!
The first thing I would suggest to you is to pray about it. Here is a link to help you pray if you do not pray regularly.
After you have prayed about it, then I would like you to go to:
There are many resources on the two pornography pages. In the meantime, I will be praying for you and that God hears your prayers that you want to live a pure life even though you are struggling with pornography right now. I pray that the chains that got your heart will be broken and you can walk free of this ugly sin and addiction.
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to a Christian counselor 24/7.
Thanks for your help am in Ghana I feel like not having someone helping me is also play a role on why am addicted I quit for a month or two pray hard read my bible and the next I know am back to this sin sometimes I feel like quitting but I know quitting don’t help me anyway if I could get a mentor to help me I will be very happy. And you might say why not find one here in Ghana is really difficult cause I tried most and you don’t see the dedication is like you are burdening them and the moment you fall you feel worse .am going to try out the pages but personal help will be beneficial.
Is the counseling on this website really free?
Good morning Robert,
Yes, you can get free online counseling by going to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone on the phone.
It would recommend that it is important to find a good Bible-believing church to attend to get regular fellowship and teaching from God’s word.
I hope these suggestions help you out. I will pray that whatever you do, it brings you closer to Jesus Christ.
May God bless you and direct your steps!
I just want to chat with someone about some family issue and marriage issues, I am an older adult Christian, I am having problems with depression too.
I see that you would like to chat with someone about family and marriage issues, etc.
I pray that before you chat, I encourage you to take your concerns to the Lord first if you have not already done so. Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Have a blessed day!
I want to restore my faith in the Lord. I have led myself astray and I know he still loves me and I’m ready to return to my Heavenly Father before it’s too late. He’s been calling me and I have ignored him for too long I am living testimony of his love for us. I’m reaching out to someone to help me.
You do not need to reach out to someone to help you necessarily, reach out to God directly!
I pray that you do not put off this vital thing to do because you are right when you say that it might be too late if you keep putting it off.
May God bless you and welcome you back with open arms that I know He will.
I always believed I was a Christian but why still struggling with addictions and so many habitual/besetting sins?? Idk. Help!! (Am I really a Christian, why so hard to overcome??) I feel so stuck in the muck.
It is good to hear from you, and it is also good to hear that your sin is bothering you, otherwise if it were not bothering you, you would have even a bigger problem with a hardened heart.
We all struggle with sin, you are not the only one, but it is good that it is upsetting to you, it ought to be, my sin upsets me too! Then I confess it to God and God will be faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Do not continue to sin because God is full of mercy and grace, but rather turn from your sins with God’s help to honor the one who created you and loves you dearly!
You mentioned sins (plural), may I suggest trying to tackle one at a time (not that you won’t try to deal with the other one (s) but try to get one under control first.
Do you have a church you attend or a pastor that you know? NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church if you do, contact them and get yourself back into church and fellowship with others who are believers who struggle with their sin who themselves can encourage you and give you some accountability. If you do not have a Bible, then visit NeedEncouragement.com/free-bible to get a free Bible for yourself. I would suggest reading 1 John 1-5 which are just a few pages but packed with a lot of wisdom and encouragement.
If you commit your sin (s) in the same place with the same people, try to avoid these places and people. Keep yourself in prayer each morning to start your day, and pray throughout your day too!
Feel free to call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who cares and would like to help you!
I will pray for you Stacey that this apparent stronghold you have on you will be cast far from you in Jesus Name!
Been in church and praying with others even trying accountability but not doing well still, I need to be obedient and get out of my own ways! Thank u soo much! Need lots of prayers.
There is no better time than now to start. Do the best you can! With Christ, all things are possible. It sure beats not even trying…Right?
Avoid the temptations, avoid the places that you fall into temptation, replace the old habits with new ones. Plus get out and get some exercise, it works great on stress and temptations, and remember to hold on to God!
I am praying for you!
It’s been a long time falling into temptation over and over! Too many strongholds.
Your website is so wonderful, thank you!
I know you know this, but just a reminder that you do not need actually to be in church to pray,
Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
I am praying that you will grow stronger in your walk with the Lord.
How long did it take you to get to the place you are right now? Keep in mind that it might take some time to get used to your new lifestyle. Do not give up!!!!!!!
Help regarding anxiety and moving. I would like to get some advice to help me move forward with my life and live a healthy life. Prefer a phone call after 3 pm central. XXX-XXX-XXXX Thank you
Hi Jane, I am sorry that I do not do phone counseling, my ministry is a website based ministry, but if you need someone to chat with you can go to NeedEncouragement.com/chat, or you can call 800-633-3446 any time.
I can give you some great advice by reminding you to pray to God for whatever it is that you are doing though. I will pray that you can be organized so that your move will not be too stressful.
Backslid badly, sinned willfully. I ruined my testimony and backslid for three years. I have returned to Jesus, but I know those years are gone and that I could have used them for God’s Glory.
What can I do? I feel useless, ashamed, and I never thought I would have done this when I first got saved.
I read the parable of the soils the seeds fell into. At times I am fearful. There are many warnings in God’s Word about sinning.
Could you help me, please?
I can understand your frustration and your feeling of being ashamed. But ask yourself, are those feelings coming from God or Satan? My advice to you is to humble yourself and get back on the right road. God loves you more than you could imagine. Yes, sin is wrong, but ask yourself why did Jesus come to the world, live, die, resurrect from the dead? The answer is because we are all sinners!!!
God does not require us to get rid of all our sins before we can have a relationship with Him, He wants us to come as we are. (we all have fallen short of the glory of God)
I thank God that He opened my eyes to my sin back in June of 1986 when I used drugs and alcohol for the last time. The road was not easy, but with God, He made it possible. God will do the same for you no matter what your choice of sin was in the recent past.
I pray right now for you Kathy that you seek out a Christian woman who can help you walk through this time in your life. Get hooked back up with your church, and keep your eyes on the Lord, for our sin may be pleasurable for a time, but it leads to pain and death.
Here are a couple of pages you can check out to hopefully help you.
God Bless you!
Can I marry someone who is not willing to go to church, and uses bad language?
You ask a very important, and excellent question. I am assuming that you are a Christian.
If you were my daughter I would write this letter as if I were sending it to her… it says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Also I would tell you that if your boyfriend is not willing to go to church, and that is a priority of yours, (but if he shows some sincere interest and also a willingness to try to stop using bad language), you could continue to date him for a period of time (maybe a month or two to see if he is showing any effort to clean up his language), and if he still does not show any interest in cleaning up his speech or his life, then I would suggest that you seriously “consider” cutting him loose. There are more factors involved such as how long you have been dating, do the two of you have any children together, how often he uses bad language and if he feels any remorse when he does, (besides the fact that it bothers you).
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
You have not shared a lot of information, but if you are sure that you love him, and are even mentioning marriage, then it would be wise to talk to someone from your church and describe your situation in detail. You are aware that we are all sinners, each with our own flavor of sin. Your boyfriend needs to sit down with you and someone else who can work as a mediator and witness to see how you ought to proceed depending on his attitude? Take a more precise look at if you want to be yoked with a non-believer for the rest of your life, or until he would divorce you possibly. I know what I am saying is harsh to you, but believe me, it is better to question now, rather than get in a divorce like I did being unevenly yoked.
Another way of looking at your question, is what you would tell your very best friend if she said to you that she wanted to marry a guy that used bad language and was not willing to go to church?
Here is a video that will give you some insights about swearing being a sin or not?
A couple of questions for you to consider:
1. Have you told him how you felt about his bad language?
Colossians 3:8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
2. Have you told him that it bothers you that he does not want to go to church?
Hebrews 10:25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
3. Does your boyfriend believe in God? If he does, ask him what the Bible says about bad language?
Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
4. I will be praying that God gives you the wisdom to know how to handle the situation that you are in. I will also pray that you pray about this situation too.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
May God bless you and keep you strong!
I have been with my wife ten years, and we’re both Christians I’m a little stronger then she is she just started to listen to everything God wants her to do, but we’ve been having problems in our marriage.
I want a divorce I know God doesn’t like that but I’m starting not to care and getting discouraged with that because I’m unhappy I need counseling we need counseling can you help I don’t want to get a divorce, but I don’t want to because that’s what God does not want can you help.
I will speak from my own experience and also what the Bible says.
First of all, I feel that you need to come to God to pray about this situation… Not to pray about how to get a divorce, but pray on how you can strengthen your marriage and get it back on track?
If your spouse cheated on you or abandoned you, forgiveness covers a multitude of sins, God provides an escape via a divorce, but at the same time, God hates divorce, so it is undeniable that you need to do whatever you can do to keep the two of you together. That could be through prayer, getting marital counseling, If your spouse has physically or emotionally hurt you, you can temporarily get out of the situation and seek help from a pastor, marriage counselor,
My wife moved out (to find herself) and said she would need 4 months, I gave her the time and space, we did attend marital counseling, yet it seemed that she had her mind already made up, since I was admitting my responsibilities for the failure of the marriage, yet she could not overlook or forgive me. I did take the narrow gate or the high road sort of speak, and it was excruciating. Then 11 years later, my conscience is clear and God allowed me to move on with my life in ministry and in general.
My suggestions to you are to:
- Pray to God for wisdom and strength to keep the marriage alive.
- Search your heart and figure out where you have gone wrong and become willing to change.
- To humble yourself to your spouse, admitting your part of the problems.
- Seek marital counseling, pastoral counseling.
- Try to find things you can agree upon with your spouse and focus on them.
- Try to address the problems with your spouse and find resolutions to them
I hope my suggestions have been somewhat of a help to you?
You can also call 800-633-3446
I pray that you seek wise counsel and that your heart can soften towards your spouse, and that your marriage will be revised!!!
May God bless you and strengthen your marriage situation. Think back to when you first got married and remembered what drew you to your spouse?
I’m interested in email counseling. Do you do that and how does it work? What are the rates?
There is no cost for the chat and you may also be interested in talking to someone on the phone by calling 800-633-3446.
I hope and pray that you get the counseling that you are searching for, but remember that the best counsel you can get is right from God in prayer and through his word in the Bible.
I can send you an encouraging email approximately once a week that would help point you to some more godly insights.
I am contemplating divorce, and I was wondering if you have a live chat on this site? Thank you.
I am sorry to hear that you are having doubts about your marriage. I strongly discourage you from contemplating getting a divorce not even one more day. God hates divorce and divorce is not a pretty thing, it is like ripping one flesh into two, very painful for both spouses and all the family and friends involved. I fear God more than I fear man (or my ex) Having said this, what I encourage you to consider doing the following.
- Pray and ask God what He wants you to do? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
- Look at your part in your wishing to contemplate divorce, reflect on your role in it, rather than only your husbands part.
- Find someone like your pastor to talk with the two of you.
- Seek marital counseling.
- Do all you can do to fill your marriage vows.
- You can get a divorce under the grounds of abandonment or unfaithfulness, but that is not something that you have to do.
- If he has been physically or emotionally abusing you, a temporary separation is better than a divorce.
Here is a phone number that might be helpful to you as well. 800-633-3446
Before you continue to contemplate divorce, check out ways to improve the marriage you have.
My wife divorced me, and I did all I could do to keep the marriage alive, yet she did not want to keep on trying. She moved out in attempts to “Find Herself” and then after two years of separation she divorced me. You may think that divorce will solve your problem, yet it will also open the door for many, many more problems.
I warn you to do all that is in your power to keep the marriage alive. I will pray that God gives you wisdom and the strength to do what is right, not what is easy and convenient. Nobody wins in a divorce except the lawyers!
I need Godly women in my life. I am 52-year-old women. I’m friendly, happy, joyful, most of all love the Lord Jesus. I need to understand why Christian women don’t make time to be friends with me.
I am sorry, but I do not understand your question?
Are you looking for a godly woman who can help you in your Christian walk of faith?
You wonder why Christian women don’t make time to be friends with you, Allow me to ask you that same question.
Are you making time to be friends with other Christian women?
I pray that you keep in mind the saying, to have good friends, you need to be friendly yourself.
I hope what I mentioned helps you!
You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk with a trained Christian counselor.
I have a lot of problems in my life. The status of my relationship is affecting me the most.
I understand that you are having some relationship problems, although that is a very broad term.
The best thing I can suggest that you do is to pray about it since you did not give me any real information to help you more. Prayer can be the best tool that you have to work with. Check out this page NeedEncouragment.com/how-to-pray
I suggest that you call this phone number to talk with someone in more detail. 800-633-3446
Shirley, I pray that the Lord will comfort you in your troubles and give you the wisdom to know what to do.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
God bless you,
My husband strongly believes in the husband is the head of the household and the woman should be submissive. OK, it says those words in the Bible. Got it. But it goes God, husband, wife, and family. We don’t have children together it’s just us. But to what extent should a wife be submissive? If her husband is backslid and back to his old ways of drinking daily and taking drugs of all sorts, am I to be still submissive to what he wants even though he is not sober-minded.
Should I take the abusive words and actions? I mean I shouldn’t have to live in fear every day not knowing the man he’s going to be from knew minute to the next. I married him knowing about some of the issues. He got saved and had become the man I wanted to marry. Six months later we got married. Now we had been in a relationship for six years at the time. My family wonders why I stay and why I married him. I feel God has put me here for a reason. I have left many times and many times have been drawn back to him. I feel God has out me in his life to save him. Knowing the person, he has become since he was saved. He is 80 percent a different man for the better than the man I met.
The Bible says for a wife to be submissive to her husband but it also states that a husband should love his wife as God loves the church.
Why does he feel that this means for me to bow down to him and allow him to raise his hand to me or to take all the harsh words he says daily to me.
I am glad that your husband has improved 80% since you met him, praise God for that! I also thank God that you are not like so many others who when their marriage gets difficult, they bail out, like what happened in my marriage. You are only partially correct when you say that your husband is the head of the household. I highlighted some scriptures below that I would bet have not been discussed. It sounds to me that you need a pastor or counselor to help you walk through your problems. I would suggest doing that as soon as possible. It does not sound like your marriage is in crisis, but if you continue not to address your issues, things might get worse sorry to say.
Husbands ought to love their wives like Christ loved the church. (what did Christ do for the church?) He gave his life up for the church by dying on the cross.
- You, the wife represents the church
- Your husband represents Christ
Here are a couple of pages to our website that can give you some more ideas. I will be praying that you can try to help your husband even more than you have been doing and that he can understand that there is more to being a man than to raise his hand to you and speak harsh words to you daily. (would Christ do that?) But like I said, he is not going to change just because you want him to, but all you can do is to pray for him (have you been doing that?) and respect him unless he is doing or saying something against God’s will. That is why I said that a pastor or counselor would be wonderful to mediate between the two of you to keep your marriage alive and to strengthen it.
Instructions for Christian Households
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church
30 for we are members of his body.
31 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
On the other hand, read this scripture:
Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
I am sure that you both have a part to play in your marriage situation. Before you think more about what your husband is doing wrong, think and pray about how to figure out what you are doing wrong, even if it is only a couple things, start working on the log in your eye before you attempt to take the speck of sawdust from your husband’s eye.
Keep in mind that men need respect and women need love. There are ways to disagree with your husband while showing respect to him, you do not have to be a doormat for him to walk all over you.
Have you told him recently how he can show more love to you? Try asking him, but do not expect that he will change his ways overnight, but at least you planted the seed in his mind and heart to know what would please you.
- I pray that you will pray about your marriage and pray for your husband.
- I pray that you seek to talk to a pastor or counselor.
- I pray that you continue to respect your husband (but if he mistreats you by raising his hand to your or swearing at you, do not allow that to continue!
- I pray that your marriage gets stronger and that God works in the hearts of both you and your husband.
- I pray that you might introduce some romance with your husband.
May God bless you and give you the wisdom to make your marriage better!
Hello, my name is Peter John Duos. About myself, I am from South Sudan my family and I are Christians. We moved to America in 1999 so we’ve been here for quite a very long time now. You are probably wondering why we are you living in America. I was very young when the war happened in my country. Back then my country was just one big country it was called Sudan and in the North part of Sudan was where all the Arabs lived and the South was my family and many Christians lived, and so what happened was the Arabs they came on horseback to my village and killed so many Christians, even young infants they show no mercy. But, luckily with God’s amazing grace he has shielded and protected my family and lead us to safety. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters I am the 4th oldest. Our oldest brother is still in South Sudan when this conflict started he was in a different area and my family and I, we were all together so we all ran away leaving him behind, but he is safe we still get in contact with him over the phone sometimes and sometimes the signals or connection is bad because he lives in the village. I am asking for prayers and would also wonder if there was a way you can help me so I have a friend from the Philippines who is also a Christian And she has about 12-13 people under her care which she mentors and shares Gods words with and so we got to know each other pretty well and she told me that they are in need of bibles for her and youth groups and I told her that I would pray and see if I can help her because I don’t have a job I ended up losing my job because I lost my car so things have been rough for me but I know that God is still working out something for me. My friend is needing about 13 bibles and was wondering if you could help me out and send me free bibles and I will make sure to pay you some way once I get a job and back on my feet. I am really looking forward to hearing from you soon. My email is
Thank you, sir, I really appreciate it. God bless!!
You can ask for a free bible but it is one per address and it needs to be in the USA. Just go to the link NeedEncouragement.com/free-bible and follow the links to get one free bible per household.
I hope this is helpful to you. May God richly bless you,
I would like an accountability partner
Or if you want to ask someone you know if you have a Christian friend who would be willing to do this with you, that would be great, if you do not know one, then you can check out some help from your church, if you do not have a church, then check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church this will help you find a good Bible-believing church in your area.
I pray that you will follow through with what I believe that God put on your heart.
God bless you and keep and share your faith!!!
I am homeless and hurting bad. No one cares about me and I have no money and no home and no support and I am hurting bad and I need constant encouragement and attention that I never got growing up and I am all alone and my needs are not met and I have no one to lean on and support I need.
It sounds like you have burned some bridges in your life, but remember that the Lord will stick with you and help you walk through this situation as He has done in your past.
Thank you for sharing with me, I will be praying that you can find some light in this darker time of life that you are experiencing right now. I also pray that you keep your eyes on the Lord and that you cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5-7