Dating Instructions!

Are You Dating? NeedEncouragement.com

Would you like to talk to someone? Click Here! “Better die an old maid, sister, than marry the wrong man.” – Billy Sunday

Don’t do what feels good, but rather what honors God?

Please get in touch with us if you have any questions or need some encouragement.

Only God knows who “your partner” should be, and you should want only the “partner” He has handpicked for you. So, to me, “being available for your partner” means first being available to God, developing good character, and walking closely with God. Are you dating and focusing on what the Lord wants you to do? Or don’t you have any specific plan in mind other than having fun? Do you? If so, I pray that you do it in a proper way that honors God and each other!

Continue Praying To God Who Knows That Special Person, If That Is His Will…That God Will Bless Them With True Faith And Character Qualities. Looking Around You At The Numbers Of People Of The Opposite Sex, Getting To Spend Time With Them, Noting Their Conversation Reactions, Core Beliefs, Interactions, Conversations, And Questions They Bring Up!

2 Corinthians 6:14  Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 

A Christian Movie About Getting To Know Someone!

 

What Truly Is Important…

Asking pertinent questions of them, noting the quality of their faith, desires, self-control, goal(s) in life, work habits, thoughts, humility, teachability, courage, conflict resolutions, and fruit of the Spirit. This is not “dating with a view towards marriage.” Still, it is an essential time before marriage is even considered: just YOU – enjoying being YOU with others whom God has brought across your path! ~ Sue Sauer

 

 

 

What should I look for in a Christian boyfriend?

What should I look for in a Christian girlfriend?

Premarital sex – why are Christians so strongly against it?

Does the Bible teach that there is a gift of celibacy?

Is missionary dating a good idea? Can God use it?

How can I overcome the pain of betrayal?

Is sex a sin?

Why should I get married?

Why is finding true love so difficult?

How can I heal from the hurt of a broken relationship?

What does it mean to love one another?

Is abstinence before marriage a realistic message?

If marriage is so difficult, why should I even consider it?

 

 

 

 

 

Principles For Dating After A Broken Relationship!

I wrote this because dating could use instructions!

  1. Learn what their relationship with God means to them. Hear their testimony.
  2. Find out about their past, especially if they are divorced, have children, etc.
  3. Don’t give up your personal life and your friendships with others.
  4. Do not talk about marriage except initially (only to see if they are open to it someday and if that is something you want).
  5. Can you see them as a possible teammate?
  6. How important is God to them in their life?
  7. Don’t be misled by good looks.
  8. Is physical attraction the main attraction, or are spiritual, emotional, and intellectual attraction important too?
  9. Take enough time to get to know each other and their likes and dislikes.
  10. Look for Godly character and let them know you like that.
  11. Take a long time before you kiss; at least four months of dating or more would be wise.
  12. Sex before marriage is not an option.
  13. Don’t tell them you love them until you know it is true love.
  14. Are they friendly, like-minded, respectful, kind, honest, transparent, loyal, and have integrity?
  15. Do they generally seem to be more naturally positive or negative?
  16. Are they emotionally stable, generally speaking?
  17. Do they have any past or present addiction or issue that needs to be discussed?
  18. Do they have a good sense of humor?
  19. Do they communicate well, both listening and talking?
  20. Try to limit three dates per week max. You can start slow; you can always increase later.
  21. Pay attention if they tend to argue or debate quickly.
  22. Enjoy your time together, hang out with one another, and try to have a purpose.
  23. Keep both eyes open while dating, then shut one eye if you were to get married.
  24. Always be the best person you can be and help improve them.
  25. Knowing each other brings them closer to God, no matter how the relationship develops.
  26. Listen to them well and show love for them with your actions and kind words.
  27. How do they talk about others, and do they seem worthy of your trust?
  28. Encourage open communication and transparency.
  29. Keep the relationship a little private until it is more established.
  30. Ask a mentor, a close friend, or even a counselor or pastor for their advice when needed about your situation.
  31. Keep in mind that just because you are dating someone does not mean it will turn into a marriage.
  32. Enjoy getting to know them as a brother or sister in Christ, whether or not you stay together.
  33. Do they act, talk, and dress appropriately?
  34. Be honest about why you are attracted to them and if that is substantial enough for a healthy relationship.
  35. Remember that you want God’s will to be done, not your will!
  36. Can they freely ask for forgiveness and also forgive you?
  37. Remember that it is okay to be single. Yet marriage can be excellent with the right person.
  38. What are their standards, values, and morals? Is it compatible with yours?
  39. Go slow emotionally; do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
  40. Be sure that the way you treat them is pleasing to the Lord and that your conscience is clear.
  41. Please pay attention to them while determining their character. Tell them what you admire about them.
  42. There is no such thing as a perfect girlfriend or boyfriend.
  43. Don’t email, text, or call too often or not enough.  Ask what is comfortable for them.
  44. Give and take healthy space for one another. I hope you have healthy boundaries.
  45. Pay attention to red flags. Talk to them calmly and nonjudgmentally, as you would want to be talked to.
  46. Determine if any negative trait is unacceptable to you. If possible, try to negotiate or make other arrangements.
  47. Remember that you are not perfect, and they will not be ideal, either.
  48. Think of what you consider a deal breaker before you start dating someone.
  49. Pray about the relationship. Do not make any decisions based only on emotions.
  50. Ideally, wait all four seasons before getting married to know them well enough.

 

Dating = An Exclusive Time To Get To Know One Another!

Dating takes time and energy and prayer! NeedEncouragement.com

Ten Ways To Discover Encouragement For Yourself:

  1. Encouragement for Relationships
  2. Encouragement to End an Addiction
  3. Encouragement for Your Faith 
  4. Encouragement from Many Topics
  5. Encouragement to Pray Daily
  6. Encouragement from our Ideas List
  7. Encouragement via Chatting
  8. Encouragement from our Sitemap 
  9. Encouragement from a Free Bible
  10. Encouragement from My Book

Find out what God’s Word says about your situation and what to do about it ~ Click here.

 

 

Continued Thoughts By Sue Sauer About Dating And Marriage:

Thinking about marriage too soon is like opening the oven too many times while a cake is baking: it lowers the temperature, and the cake is likely to fall and be rubbery!! The best thing is to keep the conversation going with your Loving, Living Heavenly Father, keeping equal open palms before Him: “Lord, I’d like to be married to a Godly person to serve You together, but I am holding an equally open palm about being single to serve You as a single person the rest of my life! (That is, surrender the Lord responds to) You make it plain. I am YOURS.” The FOCUS makes all the difference. In those days, I earnestly added, “Lord, You know what a person will turn out like.

PLEASE don’t give me to someone who will quit halfway. I fully expect to finish well and want to finish neck-in-neck with the person you give me to and hear your Well Done.’ The FOCUS on the LORD God makes the child of God less likely to fall into temptation and snares of a sinful nature, more sensitive to the promptings of the HOLY Spirit, more aware of being a compass to point a brother/sister to Him, so that at the end of the time together when parted, you can think back and consider this thought, “Am I closer to the Lord because of time with him/her? Are they praying for your future spouse, possibly closer to the Lord because of time spent with me?” ~ Sue Sauer

 

 

Why Is Praying For Your Future Spouse So Important?

 

 

 

My Thoughts About Dating

When dating, make sure you take your time and get to know your partner, ideally for a year or more, before committing to marriage! When I was dating, my first hope was to find someone who was a Christian; we would get along well (like best friends, as my sister Pat used to tell me about her husband, Gary). Someone who could be a teammate, honest, and had a sense of humor would be like-minded and respectful.

You may or may not find all the good qualities you seek. Hopefully, you will find most of them, and the others can be discussed during dating. Keep in mind that there is no place for sex outside of marriage. If you are not ready to date for some reason, maybe recently divorced, or have other issues, then be patient, honest, and pure while being friends with those of the opposite sex. But if you feel ready now, take it to God in prayer, and if He says yes, get out there and let the Lord lead you; you will not be disappointed in the long run. ~ Bill Greguska

 

 

 

What Is Good Advice For Guys About Dating?

 

15 Important Things To Think About Before You Get Into A Relationship:

I encourage you to think before you enter your next relationship. Ask yourself a few questions and ask God for clear direction and a plan. If you believe a relationship will heal you, make you whole again, and make you happy, you’d better think about that. Happiness starts from within, not from others, although if you are entire in the first place, others can add to your joy in life. Please look at these ideas before venturing out to find the love of your life.

1. What Are Your Expectations For A Relationship?

If you desire a relationship, ask yourself: What are your biggest motivations and hopes for having someone special? Remember that you are perfectly okay on your own. A relationship is one of life’s bonuses. People enter into relationships thinking they need them. With that line of thinking, you risk becoming dependent on someone.
This perpetuates dependency and a short-lived relationship. Your relationship is a beautiful addition to your already complete life. I believe God will bless you with the right partner as you seek to follow Him and pursue His plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

2. What Are You Looking For?

What are you looking for in a partner? Remember, you need to be flexible and have some ideas about what you want in your potential partner. Do you want to have kids down the road? Where do you want to live? Do your values match up? Do you want to travel? You may not think about these now, but they will affect the long-term relationship. Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

3. What Does A Good Relationship Mean To You?

Remember that the honeymoon phase won’t last forever. The infatuation stage will subside, and you will settle back into a routine (but now another person has been added to your routine). This doesn’t mean the relationship is fizzling out or is over by any means. Long-term relationships aren’t meant to function continuously on an emotional high. Unfortunately, our society has painted an unrealistic view of romance through movies and media. It is important to remember that every person has flaws and weaknesses. A person needs to be realistic and have exact expectations. To stay fresh, relationships take consistent effort from both parties. Philippians 2:5 In your relationships with one another have the same minds as Christ Jesus.

4. Your Friends Are Important ~ Do Not Abandon Them!

Many people focus on the new person and overlook others, which isn’t wise. Friends provide a balance to your new relationship. New relationships take up a lot of time and energy, and good friends will remind you to stay balanced. Another benefit of fostering friendships before entering a romantic relationship is having people who know the real you. Good friends will tell you if you aren’t acting like yourself. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

5. How Do I Know If I Am Ready For A Relationship?

Your past dating/divorce may have complicated things for you. I strongly suggest you heal first, rather than rebounding and jumping right back into a new relationship simply because you are lonely. We need to be healed and know our worth so we don’t settle for less than we deserve. You won’t be looking for someone to complete you because you understand that you are already complete the way you are now. You know you’re worthy of the time, energy, and dedication it takes to maintain a relationship. A good sense of self-worth also means you’ll be less likely to “settle” in a relationship. Luke 12:35-36 “Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks, they can immediately open the door for him.

6. Are You Negotiating And Compromising?

A compromise is a tool you must have, or you will only be in the relationship for a short time. No matter how much you and your partner like one another, there will be times when your opinions differ slightly on specific subjects. When a difference of opinion arises, you must compromise to demonstrate your love and concern for your partner. Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

7. What Are Your Goals And Dreams?

I think knowing your goals and communicating them to your partner is essential. You will want a plan for achieving them. Having the right partner will help you achieve those goals, and you can help them with their dreams, too, but sometimes your plans can get lost in a new relationship. Sometimes that is okay, depending on how important the goal is to you or to them. It is crucial to let the skeletons out a little at a time. In doing so, your partner can feel free to share their weaknesses or blunders in their life, too. Being transparent and honest are wonderful traits, but not all of them on a first date with your future spouse, if you know what I mean. Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 

 

Top 10 Dating Mistakes Christians Need To Avoid! Dating Needs Instructions!

8. Are Finances A Problem At This Time For You?

Being financially independent and having a well-rounded understanding of money management is essential. Being wise about money will keep you in control of your life and give you a sense of security. If you are not financially stable, there is no shame in letting your partner know. Problems can arise from irresponsible spending or from money in general. Honesty is the best policy. 1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

9. Do Not Let Your Ex Be A Factor In Your New Relationship!

Ask yourself a fundamental question, “Who wants to hear about my ex-partner, especially my new potential partner? To cultivate a healthy relationship with a new person, you must thoroughly address your feelings toward your ex. You must have moved on entirely from your past to enter a new relationship. But by not resolving a previous relationship, you will invite unnecessary drama and pain and possibly sabotage your new hopes with someone new. Please don’t compare your new partner to your ex. That would simply be asking for trouble you do not want! Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

10. Do You Have A Drinking Or Drug Problem?

Alcohol and drugs can be a real deal breaker, so if you have a problem with either of them, get some help before you try to find yourself a partner. In our society, alcohol and drugs are commonplace (at least check on them so they will not interfere with your relationship or your real foundation. Even if your drinking does not cause you problems regularly, I still suggest you check on it to avoid interfering with your relationship.

11. Are You Comfortable Being Alone?

Being comfortable in your own skin is essential before you invite someone else into your life. This means you need to have the ability to be alone – and be comfortable with aloneness. Can you be comfortable with a cup of tea and a book without needing to call, text, email, or visit someone? For many, being alone is one of the hardest things a person can do, but it’s essential. Because even in a relationship, you’ll find yourself alone from time to time. Mark 1:35  Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went to a solitary place, where he prayed.

12. Do You Have A Pretty Good Balance In Your Life?

You have to establish your sense of balance before entering a relationship. Naturally, a new relationship will tip your balance a bit, but you should be able to restore it relatively quickly. Your friends will help with this since they know you pretty well, and talking to them about this can be very helpful, so you don’t lose yourself in your new relationship. Balance is an excellent thing! Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.

 

13. What To Do To Find The Right Person?

It’s good to have expectations in mind when looking for a partner, but you need to stay open-minded. Unfortunately, each person you meet has their own “Baggage” they are dealing with or have not dealt with, which could make you a good match with someone you didn’t expect. Be open enough to step outside your comfort zone. Share your desire with your friends in hopes that one of them might know someone who would make a good match for you. Remember to refrain from settling for the first friendly person who shows interest in you. Acknowledge their interest, but test the waters a bit before jumping in. Be slow to commit to anyone, but keep your eyes and ears open to discover what God’s will for your dating life would look like. Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

14. What About Your Hobbies And Interests?

Do not lose yourself in your partner. Know what you like to do. Whatever that is for you, do not give it up; instead, work with your new partner to make it a good thing that you both have an interest in and can share, or even something just for your own needs. Your partner will bring their interests, hobbies, and things that energize them. It’s essential to have your own, too. That way, when your partner wants to do something that does not interest you, or vice versa, you can feel free to stay connected and close, give each other the space we all need in life, and still be loved. Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

15. Rome Was Not Built In A Day. Take Your Time!

It is a fact that relationships take time. Getting to know someone takes time and energy. Do you have enough time and energy to share with a potential partner? If the answer is no, you’ll need to reevaluate your schedule to find a date. One essential factor in letting someone into your life is making time for them. Remember that you do not have to be attached at the hip to show someone you love, but you need to be there for them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There are different points of view on how often to see one another. You will have to decide what is best for you, but you may consider three dates a week and try to refrain from kissing too quickly. Opening that door too soon could cloud your perspective. Slow and steady will win the race. Ask a lot of questions and get to know them well. Your friendship will grow into love before you know it, and it will be built on solid ground, not sinking sand. 1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you in due time. ~ Bill Greguska

 

What Is The Golden Rule In Christian Dating?

 

Dating Needs Instructions! Taking Time To Know One Another Is Critical!

Do Not Rush Things When Dating! NeedEncouragement.com

While dating, keep both eyes open, but when married, close one eye!

Does it make sense to be dating the right person? Another way to look at it is to confirm you are the right person. Practical tips on how to find the right person! If you are interested in dating, you will find helpful information on this page. Proper dating is based on honesty, excellent communication, respect, and openness to your date while always staying yourself. 

The purpose of exclusive dating should be marriage as the ultimate goal. However, some people agree to be at least romantically driven toward one another, which is different.  Be the right person, and date the right person. Before a couple even thinks about getting married, they should consider going together for at least one year before making that commitment. Make sure you do not go too quickly. Remember that it takes some time to grow a tree. ~ Bill Greguska

 

 

 

Once You Find Someone You Like ~ And They Like You!

Is God Important To You In Dating? NeedEncouragement.com

When dating someone, treat them like a brother or sister. Make it your goal to help them become better people by knowing you!

My Prayer Is That You Will!

  • Guard your heart and take things slowly.
  • Don’t get too emotional.
  • Do not get carried away by runaway thoughts too far ahead of the relationship.
  • Keep all that happens in an open palm,  1 Peter 5:7.
  • be grateful for walking alongside, breathing the same air, taking one step at a time, and waiting, waiting, WAIT on the LORD.
  • Be an observer, a collector of information, and a learner, realizing that each person is a DEEP WELL and that no one but God is Omniscient!
  • Remember that kissing or holding hands can cloud rational thoughts!
  • So pray that God reveals in His time all you need to know about your date and all they need to know about you so you can make a rational decision about going further.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Do You Know Someone Is “The One”

 

Here Are Some Helpful Links:

 

 

Do Not Rush Things When Dating! Are You Dating?

Please slow down when dating if you feel pressured and want to get married. If you go too fast, you will likely make emotional decisions that you will regret later.

Please be sure to get to know and like the person you are dating, and to have the other person see them in different settings to see how they react.

A person can and will put their best foot forward for a while, but in the end, you will get the real person, which is why it is essential to get to know and understand the person you are dating. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not something to take lightly and end in divorce.

 

 

Don’t Be Naïve, Because Roses Do Have Thorns Too!

Dating leads naturally to marriage! NeedEncouragement.com

Be sure to take enough time to get to know one another while dating!

  1. Only pursue a serious dating relationship once you are ready to marry. People should not be in a serious romantic relationship until they are mature enough to marry. But, in the meantime, they should use their time to grow as people.
  2. Be yourself and guard your heart until you know another person. Please make sure the other person is worth your time and energy so that you can get involved in a deeper relationship.
  3. Talking about marriage immediately is an excellent way to scare off someone you care about, especially if they do not feel as attracted to you as you are to them.
  4. When you date a friend, you will see your date in many situations, such as handling stress and treating their family and others. 
  5. A sense of humor is enjoyable and an excellent tool for handling life’s challenges.

Ephesians 5:3 But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any impurity, or greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

 

 

15 Questions To Get To Know Who You Are Dating?

Here are a few suggestions, not necessarily in this order, but as it naturally comes up or in a lull in the conversation when prompted by the Holy Spirit:

  1. How did you come to know the Lord? What circumstances brought you to realize or understand the Gospel/Good News?
  2. What are your favorite things to do?
  3. What books have marked your life—as a child or an adult? (Were you read to as a child?)
  4. Mention some influences that made a positive impact on your life.
  5. What places have you lived/traveled to?
  6. What friendships made a difference in your life?
  7. Have you learned some valuable lessons from people/friendships?
  8. Was there a teacher/class from a school that you remember with fondness & why?
  9. What were the most challenging year(s) in school? [Dr. James Dobson says the Middle School years are often the hardest, and many bear the scars of those years.]
  10. Siblings? Birth order?
  11. What is your favorite time of the year?
  12. Do you have a favorite color/number?
  13. What’s your favorite bird & why?
  14. Are your parents alive?
  15. Did you take vacations with your family? Where? Favorite places, etc.

 

Some Specific Scriptures To Encourage You:

Genesis 2:18 ESV 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV 

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Proverbs 18:22 ESV

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:30 ESV 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Amos 3:3 ESV 

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?

 

 

Find Hope And Encouragement From Our Links!

  1. We have a page specifically for you if you just started believing in God.
  2. If you are dealing with anger, stress, or depression, we have information to help you.
  3. We have phone helplines, website links, and YouTube videos.
  4. You can learn more about us, our goals, and our purpose.
  5. If you have a drug/alcohol problem or want to get right with God, you are at the right place!
  6. If you need to talk to someone right away, please call 800-633-3446 or click here.
  7. Finally, if you have any questions or want to be added to our email list, just let us know.

 

For Encouragement, Call 800-633-3446 or Chat.