Response Letters 1

Read our responses to your emails below…


Would you Like To Talk To Someone? Click Here! Please contact us if you have questions or if you need some encouragement. I believe that God has given us everything we need to live happy and fulfilling lives, but sometimes we need someone to help us see those truths more clearly. Response Letters Are A Creative Way To Help People Who Are Seeking Answers And Guidance. I Am Humbled By The Trust That Many Of You Have Placed In Me, Despite Not Being A Professional Counselor. But, As A Born-again Christian Since 1986, My Responses Come From God’s Word And Biblical Principles Found In The Bible, Plus My Life Experiences, Through Prayer, And How God Has Comforted Me In My Life Situations! 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. It’s an honor for me to be able to do that through these response letters. Whether you’re struggling with relationships, mental health issues, or just feeling lost in life, know that there is hope and healing available through faith in Jesus Christ. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to serve you in this way! ~ Bill Greguska

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

If you wish to ask a question of your own, please contact us

Here Are Some Of Our Response Letters!

Subject: I need counseling

Message Body:

Hi! Found your website because I decided to find counseling online. I would like to talk with someone, a strong Christian, about some problems I face in my life, and I need guidance for this. Can you tell me how counseling occurs?

Elena

Hi Elena

I take it that you have already tried to pray about your situation. If not, that is the first thing I would suggest for you to do. I hope this will be of help!

Free counseling is divided into three ways.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/
https://chataboutjesus.com/
https://needencouragement.com/contact-us/

I pray that you seek the Lord and you pick what type of counseling you need.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: Relationship

Message Body:

Hi..so I’m 51 and was a single mom for 15 years but since my children are now adults I dated and fell in love with a great man who is raising his two teenage boys on his own. We dated for over a year, and then he got a job in Europe. I never wanted to live with him before marriage, but he asked me to come with him, and I didn’t want to lose him. Also, my daughter is a missionary in Norway, so I thought it would be nice to be closer to her. I thought we’d get engaged soon after the move, but it’s been almost two years in Europe, and no engagement yet. I love Jesus and feel extremely convicted, even embarrassed.

I can’t believe I did this and involved the hearts of 2 teenage boys. He is not a Christian, which I wish he saw as though my faith in Jesus is the most important thing in my life. He never discourages me from everything I do to draw close to God. I wish he shared in it and encouraged it. I just moved back to the states this week because I wanted to stop living in sin. I’m struggling. I’m not sure if I should continue the relationship.

I love him, my kids love him, and his kids are very attached to me. He’s trying to transfer back to the states, but it will probably take at least six months. Since we’re physically separated, I can’t help but think this might be the best time to end the relationship, is that the right thing to do, or is it the worse thing to do since we love each other and the boys would be hurt. He knows I will not live with him again unless we are married. So I need advice… would it be better to stay together and get married or go our separate ways since he isn’t a Christian and we’ve already lived in sin. I have repented and have fully accepted God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness, but I don’t know what to do.

Thank you – Ellen

Good morning Ellen,

I have a strong feeling that you know what the right thing that you ought to do. If you asked your daughter, who is a missionary, you know what she would tell you. You are juggling and struggling, and your struggles seem to be whether to live your life “God’s way” or to live the way that “feels right and is convenient.”

To honor and please God’s?
To live in sin?
To get married to an unbeliever?
To break up?
To be lead by your emotions?
To be led by God?

You have gotten yourself into is up to you, yet you will reap the benefits or consequences of whatever decision you make.

If you want my opinion, if I were you, I would sit down alone with your boyfriend, tell him what you have told me, say to him that you have
repented and have been able to accept God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness fully. In doing so, you want to do what is right. It reminds me of what Jesus said to the women on the mount of olives.

John 8:1-11, but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn, he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now, what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

If, by chance, your boyfriend has a desire to be Born Again like you are, then I believe you do not have to end your friendship with him and the kids, BUT THINGS WOULD NEED TO BE DIFFERENT. OTHERWISE, I THINK YOU NEED TO MAKE A CLEAN BREAK AT THIS POINT UNLESS THE FOLLOWING CAN HAPPEN.

You would need for him to be evenly yoked with you.
He would have to be willing to accept Jesus in his life as his Lord and Savoir.
No more living together. Separate living situation.
No more sex until you are married. God has forgiven you.

I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If so, please feel free to email me back if you have any other questions about anything I said.

I pray that you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and lead you in this situation. I pray that the Lord clarifies things for you if you should make a clean break and test the water with his interest to become a Christian (keeping in mind that he might just say that to not lose you). I trust that you will make the right decision since you repented. God has given you forgiveness, mercy, and grace to do His will, not your own will, which we both know gets us nowhere fast!

God bless you, and may He make your decision clear without any struggle or anxiety, but just His perfect peace!

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: Sister

Message Body:

Hi, I have a problem. My family is Christian and believes in being anything other than straight (Gay, lesbian, etc.) Is a sin. My father, in particular, dislikes anyone who falls under these categories.

My sister came out as a lesbian a few years ago. In the beginning, I was totally against it, following my father’s footsteps, but as I grow older, I’m starting to doubt if that’s ethical.

I talked to my father and told him that I didn’t think we should push her away but accept her. He quickly said it was wrong and almost got mad at me for saying that I would Accept her.

This is where I am struggling.

I know it is wrong to be gay, lesbian, etc., for it is written in the bible. But is it wrong to support someone who is gay, lesbian, etc.?

On top of that problem, my sister’s girlfriend is emotionally abusive and manipulative, but she just seems to go back to her after every fight. She once cried over the phone, wanting to come back home after staying at her girlfriend’s. She also doesn’t want to find work and has dropped out of 3 different universities, Because her girlfriend is telling her that she is probably cheating on her and doesn’t pay enough attention to her. Anyone in my situation would see that this is very wrong. I don’t know how to deal with that or push her in the right direction either.

Please help me.

Hi JS,

I am glad you have reached out for advice. It sounds like you are troubled with your sister’s choice of lifestyle she is in right now, and on top of that, her friend is abusive and manipulative. I would suggest that you look at one thing at a time.

First of all, it sounds like you love your sister, which is excellent. Have you ever heard of the expression, “Love the sinner, but hate the sin?” I think this can be of help to you to think in these terms. Keeping that in mind, I would encourage you to love your sister by being a good Christian example of love to her. You might want to not get right to the point about her homosexuality, but start by talking to her in general terms about sin and that God gave His Son to die for us because of my sin, your sin, and your sister’s sin. Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I would suggest that you at first point out other types of sins that we all have. Maybe she could admit that she has lied, stolen, lost her temper, etc., and then later bring in the subject of her homosexuality.

Before you talk with her, make sure that you pray and ask God to give you the right words and a loving attitude when you share with her. Put on your Armor of God each day, and understand that your sister is in a spiritual battle initiated by the devil himself because he hates God, and the devil’s way to get back at God is to tempt God’s children to do what is evil. It is pretty simple to understand, yet your sister is right in the middle and has been temporarily blinded. Read this to protect yourself and your sister…

Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

And remind your sister that there is a penalty for us to pay because of our sins that Jesus has already paid for us on the cross. Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I hope what I have shared has been of help to you and your sister. If you have any questions about what I have said or anything else, please feel free to email me back, and I will try to be more helpful to you. I pray that you can be strong for your sister, who is in some quicksand and needs someone like you to be there to love her, support her, and encourage her. Remember also that we are to love the sinner but hate the sin.

When you talk to your sister about her homosexuality, DO NOT FORGET. You need to humble yourself because we all have sins that God hates, maybe not homosexuality, but keep in mind that ALL sin keeps us from God. This attitude will help you relate to your sister in a humble yet powerful way!

This scripture ought to give her some hope if she is ready to give up her homosexual lifestyle. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Here is a page from my website that I believe will help you and your sister. https://needencouragement.com/homosexuality/

God bless you and remember we need to love the sinner yet hate the sin…(we are all sinners, each in our way).

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: Abuse and Fear

Message Body:

hi. I think I’m losing hope, but I don’t want to, and I hope you can encourage me. My parents are harsh. Joseph 🙁

Hi Joseph,

I am glad you reached out…You did not mention any particular details, but I can tell you that if you keep responding to them the way you have been (however that may be?), you will continue to get the same results. I suggest that you, first of all, take this to God in prayer. Can you think of anything you have said or done that has upset them or has been disrespectful?

Ephesians 6:1 Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

You did not mention how old you were, but no matter what age, abuse is not right ever! If it is physical abuse, then you might want to consider reporting them to the police. It would be much easier to give you advice that can help you if you think telling me more would help. I am open to that. It is challenging to help you with the limited amount of information that you shared with me.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

I hope what I have shared has been of some help to you. Feel free to email me back if you have any questions about what I have said.

I will pray that you use sound wisdom mixed with love and try to talk to your parents. You might need to schedule some time to talk if they are busy. This way, you can get their full attention and hopefully resolve your problems by talking things out.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

If you are 18 and can not deal with your parents, you have an option to move out. But it would be best to talk things out. Again, you did not share much with me, so I am only speculating about what is going on. The bottom line is to keep praying about it and do whatever you can to find peace with your parents.

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: Relationships

Message Body:

Hi. I’m not sure if this is something you guys help with… but I have been conflicted for the past six months over someone, and I think I am in love with them. I’m a Christian, they are a Christian, and I would love to talk to someone for some perspective. Thanks so much.

Hi Anna,

It is good to hear back from you, although hearing good news would have even been better!

I will try to get to the point, it seems to me, correct me if I am wrong, but it appears that you made your “feelings” for this boy your god. You say that you are a Christian, so I can remind you that God is a jealous God. You putting this boy as your focus for happiness instead of having God be your focus is, without a doubt, I believe to be your main problem.

I am sure you are aware that pruning branches are not good for the tree to grow healthy. That is what I believe that God has done with this boy (pruning him out of your life). And the story does not end with that because if you do not put God as your focus, no matter what you chase after, you will not ever find real joy.

Have you been:

Praying to God each morning?
Have you been reading your Bible?
Fellowship with other believers? (you admitted that you are isolating)

I am sure you are a nice young lady, and the Lord has someone for you if you can be patient. I encourage you to rekindle your relationship with God and forget about boys probably until, at the least close to summertime, so you can heal and get close to God again.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Hi Mr. Greguska,

I hope you’re well.

I haven’t reached out for over a year and a half but thank you for your help in the past. I find myself struggling lately, and I appreciate you being here.

Since we last spoke in July, much has changed. The boy I spoke of, I fell deeply in love with. I told him my feelings, and we fell in love. However, he still had a girlfriend, and my heart broke each time he spoke of her and I saw him together. Since September, when I told him I loved him, each day has been filled with tears, heartache, and loneliness.

I can honestly tell you that I have cried every night for over a year. I am primarily happy, but there are moments every night when I struggle. In March, I realized how unhealthy it was for me to love someone who was with someone else after many lonely and sleepless nights crying myself to sleep and struggling. I’ve always found it hard to open up my feelings to others and tell my family or friends. Letting him go was so hard, and until August, we continually reached out to each other.

Then, he told me he never loved me and that his girlfriend was the one. That caused great pain. Since March, I have felt a certain emptiness that I cannot get rid of. I feel emotionally and mentally scarred deeply inside. I have trouble opening up and find it hard to trust anyone. I feel so angry at him for allowing me to believe he loved me when he did not. Watching him go back to his girlfriend was the worst thing I have ever gone through.

He broke me so much that I no longer love him. At least that is good. Since losing him, I have isolated myself from my friends and family. I spend a lot of time alone. I find when I do not have school, I slip back into long days of despair and crying, like the last few weeks, mourning the loss of him. Last week, I got awarded a scholarship to the university of my dreams on the other side of the world. I hope to go. I do not doubt that four years 4000 miles from home, will heal me.

My heart is so broken I can no longer feel hurt. I am not always unhappy, but I struggle sometimes. Especially at Christmas, I wallowed for long periods, trying desperately to revise for exams but feeling too broken.

I need help.

Thank you for listening. I am sorry if this is a burden or hassle.

Ella

Hi Ella,

I am glad you reached out. I want to let you know that I will give you the best Christian perspective that I know to share with you. You have reached email support, so if you would like to email a question, I will get back to you as soon as possible.

I always tell everyone who writes in; that they need to take their situation to God in prayer before sharing it with others. You are a Christian, and that should not be a problem for you to do. The Lord wants us to come to Him in prayer as a child would to their earthly father.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

If you want to talk to someone on the phone, you can call 800-633-3446. If you email me back or call the phone number, I will pray that God gives you the wisdom you need to make wise choices for your future.

You did not share what was on your mind, but if you have sexual relations with your friend (which is very common in our society,) I would suggest that this is the case. Stop doing that, and you will learn by your friend’s reaction whether or not he truly loves you or not. You will also grow closer to God because of your obedience. I am saying this because I assumed that the conflict was about sex by what you wrote. If it is something different, you need to let me know, and hopefully, I can point you in the right direction.

https://needencouragement.com/ dating-advice

The bottom line, no matter what problems or situations we are involved in, God’s word is the answer for us. We need to take all our issues to the Lord, and His word will help us sort out the answer. https://needencouragement.com/ got-questions

May God bless you today and every day and give you the peace, strength, and wisdom that you need.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Hi Gabriela,

I am sorry if I sent this email to you before, but I found it in my drafts folder, where I put things if I am not ready to send them. Again, please forgive me if I did not get back to you.

I am glad you have reached out for some clarification of your fears. I read what you wrote, and the only thing I came up with is that you need to be specific with exactly what you are referring to. If you give me a couple of examples of what you call sin confusing you, I think I can help you. Otherwise, what you are talking about is a little too vague for me.

Maybe what you are thinking might be a sin is a sin.

Maybe what you are thinking might be a sin is not a sin.

Here is a page from my website that might be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/list-of-sins/

I hope to hear back from you soon to help you handle the fear that is bothering you, not knowing if something is a sin or not, and how to tell the difference.

Stay in God’s word, and your questions will find answers for them.

Please also visit GotQuestions.org. It has tons of information to give clarity on many topics!

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

From: Gabriela

Subject: Fear

Message Body:

Hi, I’m Gabriela

So, I know it’s a bit weird, but lately, I’ve felt like everything is a sin… I can’t get dressed up, watch a movie with my family, eat, take a shower, be with my parents, play with my pets, do school… Without feeling like I’m sinning. I just have so much fear and condemnation after me.

Whenever a Christian posts something besides their faith, I feel like I am sinning, and I enter into condemnation both for them and me. I try to remember that I just see a small glimpse of their lives, I don’t know the intentions of their hearts, I don’t know how much time they spend on social media, I don’t know their problems, their journey with God, I don’t know what happened before, during, or after the picture was taken, and that and that’s OK. If they post something that’s really off for any Christian, I just try to remember that we live in a fallen world, and I shouldn’t hold that standard on people. They’re in a walk with the Lord every single day, and they also stay focused.

I try taking breaks, but it’s general. I just feel like I’m sinning all the time, and obviously, my flesh uses that to stay comfortable. The Devil also attacks me with mistakes” Look where you would be right now,” or “How do you call yourself a Christian? Christians don’t do that,” “That’s so shameful,” and “It’s just who you are” are more direct ways of condemning myself, really trying to focus on how perfect the Lord is.

I’m trying to trust in the Lord, just really desiring him more, but I don’t know what that means, like sure dying to the flesh, but I mean how can I die to the flesh while also doing other things? I know it’s complicated, I don’t want to be double-minded, but neither do I want to seek the Lord out of fear and condemnation. If not, I’m just going to cause legalism. I try to remember Romans 12:1-2, 1 John 2:15-17/18, 1 John 4:18, Joshua 1:9, and 1 Corinthians 10:23! But this thing started a very long time ago. It has stolen from me so much joy and peace.

I can’t even explain how awful this is. I feel condemned and overthink everything I watch, hear, say, do. The same happened when I was with my friend the other day. I can’t even explain how scared I am of becoming lukewarm and believing something I shouldn’t/ go back to my old ways when I used to be obsessed with the things of the world, whether they were necessarily a sin or not. I’m so scared I’ll drift from God and live a mid-time Christian or just an “I kinda love God, but I also live for the world” life instead of loving God with all of my heart and living for him and for what he did on that cross for me.

God’s love is the only thing that can help me; I’m just so scared in so many ways to try to trust in God again, and because of my feelings, I’ll just become legalistic (for seeking him out of fear), and I’ll gain something bad instead of love. I just fear that I will get far from God:/These lies. They are holding me back a lot to continue in my faith…

A verse in 1 John 4 says that there is no fear in love because fear equals punishment. I feel so discouraged and really just drained from this fear and just realized how much peace and joy has been taken away from me. I find it hard to find comfort in prayer; I’ve lost touch with my faith, as you can tell, really pessimistic about God, discouraged, hopeless, and just a lot melancholy because I don’t have so much connection now that I have fear and condemnation, I feel like My relationship with Jesus, and everything that comes with him has been stolen from me. Last week I just reached Havoc, and I cried for like 10 minutes, and then the other day just cried for like 1 hour, and now I just cry many of my nights, and they feel so cold. I know God doesn’t owe me anything, but honestly, I feel like I’m on my own, and there is no help at all. I just give thanks and give thanks and try to remember Philippians 1:6, read my Bible, and breathe, but nothing helps…

Subject: Feeling Inadequate

Message Body:

Hi, I’m a student in Nigeria, and I’ve been having this feeling of not being good enough at anything I do. I try to fight these feelings, but they get so bad that I can’t even pray about them every day. I’ve been at home for about seven months due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and I tried to lose weight before going back to school, but nothing has changed.

That is my biggest regret. I tried working out and limiting my calorie intake, but I’m back to square one. This makes me feel like a failure because I see other people around me who have achieved their weight loss goals. I’m happy for them, but it just reminds me of my failure.

I know I only have myself to blame, and I feel like I hate myself for achieving nothing in seven months. I would appreciate some encouragement and advice because I think even God is disappointed in me.

Olabisi

Hi Olabisi,

You mentioned in your last sentence that you think that God is disappointed in you. The only way that God would be disappointed in you is if you have any sin(s) in your life that has not been confessed to Him. God loves you, and the only thing that breaks our fellowship with God is when we sin, and we do not confess our sins to God and repent from our sins.

https://needencouragement.com/confidence/

1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar, and his word is not in us.

How many weeks did you try to work out? It takes time to get in shape and time to lose weight, we do not get overweight in a few days, and we do not lose weight in a few days either. Get back and keep trying. Maybe you are trying to chew off more than you can handle, so consider cutting back on your workout and focus on being consistent.

https://needencouragement.com/need-exercise/

Keep in mind other parts of your life such as your friendships, things you enjoy doing, special people in your life, and something you are looking forward to doing. Sure, being overweight can be frustrating, but God did not create you only to have a shapely body, but to have Him live in your heart and for you to follow him each day. Do you pray to God? Do you read scriptures or fellowship with other believers? If not, I suggest that you focus on your spiritual life, and everything else will be given to you.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

I pray that you can refocus on Jesus instead of your weight loss problem dragging you down. If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to contact us if you have more to say or have any specific questions.

May God bless you,

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: Advice

Message Body:

My wife and I have recently separated. We both have done things to lose trust in each other and hurt our marriage. My wife had 3 affairs. I suffer from depression. I’m now getting help for and was very emotionally abusive and codependent on her. She has been a Christian her whole life, and I thought I was also but recently realized I wasn’t and gave my life to God. I need help with not being an emotionally abusive husband and have anger issues. I see a counselor, my pastor, a psychiatrist for medication for my depression, and two Christian friends.

I am looking for more help with this. I need advice, resources to read, prayer, and any help I can get. My wife says John Piper is one of the godliest people she knows of and listens to him a lot. I was wondering if there is any way to get in touch with him for advice and help.

Thank you,

Justin

Hi Justin,

I am glad you reached out. I am sorry to hear that you are separated from your wife. My first advice to you is to take this to God in prayer. He is the one who will give you direction. It is good that you are seeking other help too. My observation is that you have a lot of people that you are going to for help. You might be better off getting the bare essential people to help you, so you do not have to keep talking to everyone over and over the same storyline. I would try to find one go-to person to share your concerns instead of having a counselor, pastor, and two Christian friends.

There is wise counsel having people to go to for help, but I would limit if I were you. As far as your separation, I went through a separation from 2005-2007, and my pastor told me that separation is a slippery slope. If you want to stay with your wife, you should have some type of plan to get back with her if you guys are willing to talk to one another. You are sure a forgiving man to have allowed your wife to have 3 affairs. Many people would go for a divorce right away after an affair. Even though the Bible says there are grounds for divorce, it does not say you have to go for a divorce.

https://needencouragement.com/prevent-divorce/

Make sure you guard your heart during all of this. I hope what I have shared about cutting back on all the people was helpful advice, and that if you want your wife back, you should not wait too long. She will get used to being alone and a way for marital stress that she might not want to return, similar to what my wife did.

I pray that you keep taking care of yourself, such as prayer, exercise, diet, sleep, social, and just taking care of yourself in general. I hope what I have shared with you has been helpful. You guard your heart and keep following the Lord.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Relationship

Message Body:

I am a single 22-year-old woman who is told to wait until I find the “right, Christian” guy before dating. ‘t understand why all my non-Christian friends are just falling in love, getting married, having kids, and living so happily. Yet, all my Christian friends who are told to wait like I am are as lonely and sad as me… some are still single in their 30s, and I don’t want that for my life.

I get it when people say, “Develop your relationship with God, and you won’t be lonely, but this is just not realistic when humans need human relationships. How long should I just wait around for the right guy to walk into my life?! Why does God bless those who sin but not those who wait? – Jeri

Hi Jeri,

Besides intervening for your daughter in prayer, I would strongly advise intervening with her in a conversation. Don’t make a lecture out of it or anything like that. Just talk to her and find out what she is up to, and if there is something you can do to help her. Offer her a few suggestions if she is open to hearing them. Otherwise, you can not make her do anything or listen to you, but you can pray, listen to her needs, and offer to help her. (money is not advisable)

Did any of my suggestions in the previous email help give you any hope?

With God, all things are possible!

I am praying for you both!

Bill Greguska

Subject: Re: “Drugs”

God allowed me to learn from a family addiction counselor who knew her stuff. It is a myth that they need to hit bottom. Most die without intervention cause at the bottom-most can’t do it by then. God blessed you with a mom’s support and a reason to quit if you survived a real bottom. Or did God just plainly pull you to recover? That’s how I quit too many years ago. But that is the exception. Most die if someone or something doesn’t intervene before the bottom.

Sent from my iPhone

I’ve been living in prayer for a few years over this. We live way too far to do anything to make a difference. I understand all the info but cannot apply due to our distance at a complete loss of anything at this point. I know God can intervene, but most die without family support. It feels so hopeless. They have to have a reason to quit. And family support. Only approx. 100,000 make it on their own without a reason and support. Well, thank you anyway. God bless

Sent from my iPhone

Hi Jeri,

While I read your paragraph describing your situation, the first thought that came to my mind was if you have been praying to God about this. Sometimes, people go to it as a last resort, but I suggest you do that now. The other thing that came to my mind is the idea of reaching out to church and other areas for help and support, such as calling 211, or here is a link to many helpful websites that might be able to help you. https://needencouragement.com/website-links/

As far as your daughter you are worried about, keep in mind that you have raised her the best you could, considering the situation. You need to talk to your daughter as an adult, even though she may not be acting wisely. I am sure you have done all you could to help her, yet, drugs can make people do illogical things. (I had a bad drug problem from 1976 until 1986) Even though it hurt my mom significantly, she was wise enough to love me yet let me make my bed, and had me sleep in it. (consequences)

By the time I was about 20, she had no choice but to kick me out of the house. (my mom loved me a lot, but she had to draw the line). It was not that my mom stopped loving me, but she needed to detach from my insanity, and looking back, I do not blame her. The interesting thing about my story was that my mom was there for me during my recovery, and she worked with the staff to find out how she needed to let go and trust God. My mom just passed away on December 31, 2014, and I was one of all 4 siblings to take full care of her. The others wanted to put her in a nursing home. I loved her and took care of her for the last eight years of her life.

A couple of things to consider, Jeri:

Plan a time for you and your daughter to have a mother-daughter talk. Try to listen to what she is saying. Identify and agree upon what the problems are. (behaviors more than just drugs, I am sure)
Explain to your daughter and show her that God loves her and that you love her too. And that love might have to be tough like my mom did to me.
Do not make emotional responses to your daughter asking for money. If she needs food, buy her some but don’t give her money.
If she is living at home, make her do chores and pay some rent.
You will need to think of some boundaries and consequences for her behavior. Otherwise, she will do whatever she feels she wants.
If she is into drugs right now, remember she is not entirely trustworthy. But worthy of your love and prayers.
Get your pastor involved. If you do not have a church, find one. https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/
Have her take one problem at a time. Otherwise, she might become overwhelmed.
Treat your daughter as if the shoes were on the other foot. How would you need to be treated?
I suggest these things to you because I know how it is to be addicted. I have been clean and sober since 1986. Praise God!
Also, feel free to call 800-633-3446

Keep praying to God. Ask Him for wisdom to know how to handle your daughter. Maybe she needs to be put into treatment. It is not meant for everyone, but it sure helped me a lot! (I would look for a place longer than 30 days if possible)
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Do not forget to call 211. There are many resources there to help you!!!

I will be praying for you and your daughter. If what I have shared has been helpful, feel free to contact me back via email.

God bless you and your daughter,

Bill Greguska

Subject: Drugs

Message Body:

God let me learn many years ago about recovery info family dynamics, and faith. Presently my grown daughter is in the grasp of drug addiction and is scaring me to death.

I have been trying to raise her oldest son since he was born, so it’s been many years, and since my husband passed a few years ago, it has become very hard. I had to move too far away to help my daughter, and she needs help. I’m living on a prayer and not functioning well because we are too far away. Not sure what my question is to you as a Christian but being this far away is quite a hopeless situation. Faith without works is dead, and we need to be there, so there is hope. One important recovery dynamic is most die without family support. Short of being able to move, this is going to get worse.

Hi Daniel,

All men are tempted sexually, but not all men fall for those temptations, but we still struggle.

I told my daughter when she was a teenager that all men are dogs, but the good men who love the Lord are still dogs (sinners) but with a leash holding them back, keeping us from sin. That so-called leash is prayer, God’s word, fellowship, accountability, exercise, pure thinking, and avoiding those things that lead us into temptation.

I remember Billy Graham saying, “There is pleasure in sin, but only for a short time.” There is much truth to what Billy Graham said. The reality is that lust and pornography are sins and, God hates sin.

What have you been doing proactively to avoid pornography and lust?

Where do the temptations come from?

Your computer, television, magazines?

Whatever it is that is triggering your lustful behaviors, that is what you need to cut out. Not fight, but flee from sexual sin. Your flesh is not strong enough to fight those temptations. Just as Pottifer, when the wife was seducing him, had to flee from sexual sin in the Old Testament, we as men need to do the same thing. RUN FROM SEXUAL SIN!!!

Here are a couple of links that will shed some light on this subject for you.

https://needencouragement.com/pornography/

https://needencouragement.com/pornography-or-purity/

https://needencouragement.com/victory-over-pornography/

Like a moth near a campfire, the closer it gets to the fire, the greater the chance it will be consumed. The more you entertain the lustful thoughts, the greater chance you will be consumed.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Take an inventory of your life, locate the weak points, and start to avoid whatever your trigger may be. If what I have shared with you has been helpful, please feel free to email me back.

In the meantime, pray to God to give you the wisdom, strength, and perseverance to win this race against pornography and the lust that you are in.

God bless you and protect you,

Bill Greguska

Subject: Am I an Esau?

Message Body:

Hello all, where do I begin? I used to believe I was saved quite a few years ago, have to say the sinner’s prayer at a local church. But sadly to say, nothing changed. I was still living in the world and became addicted to pornography and lust. I knew what I was doing was against God, and still, I pursued these things, also partying, drinking, and the like, just flat-out horrible.

Recently a change began happening that I can’t describe. I’ve been in the world more.

I’ve not been caring about money, and I have learned through John Piper’s sermons how to

Pick up my cross and deny myself. Sometimes I feel great, some days, I remember what pastor John said about being an Esau, and I become stricken with fear and depression.

Did I know God, or did I not?

Or am I an Esau and pretty much

Dead?

I feel I’ve changed, but I don’t feel what pastor Hohn describes: love and a renewed heart mind, and spirit.

I don’t want to give up; I don’t. I need God; I need Jesus. I want him to know me. I want to grow and walk with him. I’ve wasted so many days and years that he gave me so selfishly.

But what if I’m too late? God will not be mocked,

I don’t know what to do. If I give up, I’m dead. But if I am an Esau, then I can’t truly repent, in which case I’m dead. Either way, I don’t want to give up.

Please help me

Daniel

Dear Bill

Thank you for your response. I should have said that I fell into sin at that time. I am born again; I just took a wrong turn. I will take your advice and keep on hopping along with what you mentioned in your email.

I am from South Africa and thank you again.

God bless

Rhonda October

Hi Rhonda,

Thank you for reaching out with the load you are carrying on your shoulders. I do believe I understand what you are saying,

The first suggestion I tell everyone is to take their concerns to God and leave them at the foot of the cross, do not take them back. Allow Him to help you sort through what you are going through. Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Second of all, do not give up hope. You are not hopeless since you said you trust God. Maybe right now, things have not been going the way you would like them to, but I would encourage you to take a different perspective on things. Look at all that you do have, for example, your life, friends, health, material things like clothes, shelter, transportation, etc. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

To get into God’s word, I would suggest Psalms, Proverbs, or the book of John, for starters. Do not just read or pray for a day or two, but make it a way of life for yourself.

Be thankful for what you have been blessed with, and your heavenly Father knows the desires of your heart. If you give up hope, you are giving in to the plan of Satan to steal, kill, and destroy you. John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I pray that you can turn back to God once again and allow Him to influence your life once again. I hope what I have shared with you has been of help to you. If it was, and you would like to contact me back, feel free to do so. Otherwise, you can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to a live Christian counselor.

May God bless you and strengthen you in your faith!

Bill Greguska

Subject: HOPELESS

Message Body:

Good day. A few years ago lost my job. I also live in another country. Apologies; English is not my first language. I hope you can make sense of what I wrote. I was blessed and had a good life. At that time, I was living in sin, although I am a child of God. I have learned an excellent lesson after that. I was at home for about a year, and I got another job. I trusted God for a job and also repented of my sinful life. The job I have now is only half a day where I earn less money.

My life isn’t the same after what happened. I felt the favor I had before; was gone. Not only in my finances but overall. I have less of what I had before. My prayers take longer to be answered. I applied for other jobs but got no interviews. I feel I am still paying the price for my disobedience, although I have repented and turned away from sin. It’s been 4 years, and nothing has changed in my life. And now the situation of COVID-19. I could lose my job because of this situation. I am trying to keep the faith. Am I still paying the price, and why is my life no longer as blessed as before? Should I keep trusting and praying, or should I accept that things might not change.? I am 45 years old. Thank you for taking the time to read my request. I hope to hear from you soon.

Rhonda

Hi Susan,

I am not sure what you are asking, but it sounds like you are not happy with your relationship. So, in that case, instead of telling you what you ought to do, I will ask you a few questions that will help you decide for yourself what you are willing and not willing to do.

Does your boyfriend say he loves you?
Does your boyfriend show you that he loves you?
Are you willing to put up with more disappointment with your boyfriend until things “might” change?
Have you known him long enough to be willing to take a risk with him, or are you afraid to keep going like this?
Are you afraid of breaking up and feeling alone?
What do your other friends say for you to do?
What does your gut say that you ought to do?
When you pray about this situation, what is God telling you to do?
Are you having relations with him and are afraid that will stop?
Are you dependent on him financially in any way?

You do not need to tell me the answers to these questions unless you want to. They are meant to be rhetorical so that you can decide for yourself what is best for Susan.

Please feel free to email me back if what I am saying has been helpful to you.

I will pray that you can have the wisdom to know the right thing(s) for you to do. I have a feeling you know already what you ought to do, and it is just a matter of knowing for sure.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Boyfriend

Message Body:

My boyfriend is laid off right now. He knows what a nightmare it is for me to find a parking spot on the train every morning. However, it is too much trouble for him to drive me. He lives 2 miles from me (a 5-minute drive). The train station is a 10-15 minute drive from my house. To me, this says I am not worth a short drive. What is your take?

Susan

Question:

I would love to share more details, but I just lost my dad a week ago. He was like my best friend. He leaves behind my mom and six kids. I’m trying to be as strong as possible. Please, I need to talk to someone. I’m hurting, grieving, and broken inside.

Response Letter:

Hi, I am very sorry for your loss. My mom died three years ago, and I think of her often. My first thought is to point you to Jesus Christ. I do not know what you believe, but if you trust in God, he can and will comfort you and direct you…If you do not have a relationship with God, then I would strongly advise looking into one.

You can check it out. https://needencouragement.com/need-god/ For dealing with grief, you can visit. https://needencouragement.com/grief/When, my mom, died, I found comfort in journaling. Here is a link that you might find interesting. I have a running log that I wrote things about my mom. She, too, was my best friend. I am the youngest of 4 Italian siblings, and my mom always favored me. https://needencouragement.com/death/I hope what I shared has helped a little…Also, you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who can also help you! God bless you and keep looking to God for your strength and comfort.

Bill Greguska

________________________________________________________________

Question:

Sex before marriage. We are 51-year-old grandparents. We both feel way too old even talking about this, but I don’t want an opinion about what the Bible says.

Response Letter:

Hi Larry, The Bible is very clear about sex outside of marriage. Here is a page you can visit that might give you what you are looking to discover. https://needencouragement.com/sex-out-side-of-marriage/Here is another link that you might benefit from also. https://www.gotquestions.org/sex-before-marriage.html I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If you need to talk to someone, you can call 800-633-3446. I pray that you find the answers that you need. God bless you!

Bill Greguska ><>

Question:

My husband struggles with addiction and alcoholism; I need some advice.

Response Letter:

Hi Sarah,

Without knowing a lot more details, the first thing I would suggest that you do is to go to God and pray for your husband’s addiction. That would be the first step to take. https://NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

If you can, talk with him to determine if he would be willing to get some outpatient help from a counselor or even go to an AA or NA meeting. https://NeedEncouragement.com/alcohol-and-drugs

Do you go to a church that offers support for alcohol or drugs? https://eedencouragement.com/find-a-good-church

I am just guessing that outside of his drinking. He is not finding much joy or peace with God, himself, or others in his life. Can you think of what you can do to help your husband since you know it well? Whatever you have tried to help him, and it does not work, try to think of another solution. In the meantime, you need to be strong and also take care of yourself. Have you ever heard of Alanon meetings? They are a support group to help those who have husbands, wives, or relatives affected by their significant others’ drinking or drug problems. Here is a link to get some help for you… https://al-anon.org/newcomers/

I attended AA and NA for about ten years, and now I only go to church to get help from God. I have been sober and clean since June 25, 1986, and it was the best thing I did in my life besides accepting Jesus Christ into my life! https://NeedEncouragement.com/12-step-program

It does not matter how your husband is responding right now, but if you take care of yourself and get your marching orders from God, you will be in good shape if he finds out that you are interested in getting help for yourself. I am pretty sure that he will wake up and realize that he has a problem, and you’re serious about getting help for the two of you.

I trust that God has the answers for you, and I pray that they come along quickly. And I pray that God gives both you and your husband wisdom and strength to make it through this together! It might not be easy, but it will be worth it, believe me!

Bill Greguska

(Continued)

Is there any way that we can talk on the phone?

Sarah

Hi Sarah,

Sorry, I make it a practice not to talk on the phone, especially with women. If you have anything you want to ask me or share with me via email, I’d be willing to talk that way with you a little.

If you don’t have a close friend or family member you can share with, you might think about seeing who can help you and who you respect and trust.

If you don’t have a church to go to, I would suggest finding one.

If you feel like you’re in any danger, I would suggest removing yourself from the situation temporarily.

Let me know if you would like to ask me anything or tell me something; I’d be willing to help you if I can.

Above all, I strongly suggest you take all of this to God and pray!!! I am praying for you and your husband!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I need help. I am running on empty!

Response Letter:

Hi Jojo,

There is an expression that goes like this called HALT:

Do not get to

Hungry
Angry https://NeedEncouragement.com/anger
Lonely https://NeedEncouragement.com/loneliness
Tired

My suggestion is to stop right now and pray to God to give you the wisdom you need to make some changes in your life.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault.

https://NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

Are you saying yes to too many things?
Are you trying to please everyone but forgetting your needs?
Are you neglecting God lately?
Are you getting enough sleep?
Are you getting enough exercise? https://NeedEncouragement.com/need-exercise
Are you eating healthy foods? https:// NeedEncouragement.com/healthy-food

Without knowing more details, if you reflect on these questions and the HALT idea, you are on your way to recovery from running on empty.

It sounds like you need to pamper yourself. Do not feel as though you have to take on the whole world. If you call in sick tomorrow, that might be the wisest thing you could do for yourself. When was the last time you saw your doctor?

When I was going through a divorce back in 2007, my pastor Dave Briscoe wisely gave me a quote to think about. It went like this:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint, throttle down, or you will run out of gas!” ~ Pastor Dave Briscoe

I hope and pray that what I have shared with you can be of help to you! Throttle down and hang in there, call upon the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!

Bill Greguska

https://NeedEncouragement.com/chat

800-633-3446 call 24/7

Question:

My husband and I have been married for 13 months, together for 18. I have temporarily left our home due to angry outbursts that have made me feel unsafe physically and emotionally. Seeking counsel.

Response Letter:

Morning Jill,

When you said you temporarily left your home, did you mean just packed a few clothes and things and plan to come back real soon, like a day or two?

My first advice would be to pray for your husband your marriage, and yourself.

Second of all, I strongly advise you to get a third person involved to mediate between the two of you. Someone that he can trust and confide in and someone you can trust and confide in too. Maybe a pastor, maybe a counselor, but someone soon! Make sure that you do not get too comfortable away from him. Otherwise, your marriage will be on a slippery slope to divorce.

As much as you want, you can not change your husband, but the Holy Spirit can and will if you put your marriage in an open palm to the Lord. But you would be wise to look at what our husband is getting upset about; maybe the problem is drinking. Perhaps it is something you are doing or saying? Maybe it is excess stress, money problems, etc.

Having a third person to bounce things off of will benefit both you individually and your husband personally and the two of you as a couple. https://NeedEncouragement.com/free-christian-counseling

DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT OR REFER TO THE WORD DIVORCE; you have just hit a speed bump, and bailing out now (even thinking about bailing out) is the worst thing you can do. You have become married before God and the others at your wedding. Divorce does not solve your problems; it only changes them. I know I have been divorced myself, and if my wife had put more faith into our marriage, we might have still been married and stronger because of it. Still, she wanted immediate gratification, which ended in a broken home, major problems for my stepson, etc.

To reiterate:

Pray for your marriage. https://NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Get wise counsel that you both agree upon https://NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone.
Examine your own life (get the log out of your eye before trying to get the speck out of the other person)
Have a plan to get back into the house ASAP. Forgive your husband and ask him to forgive you.
Discover the root of this problem and work with your husband to resolve it (work as a team)

Jill, I am praying for you right now that your heart can be soft, yet at the same time use good wisdom from God to get your marriage back on track!

Bill Greguska

800-633-3446

Question:

Hi. I was inquiring about some counseling, someone for my 10-year-old daughter to speak with. Her father and I separated in 2014, and the divorce was finalized in 2016. We have 50/50. I feel she needs some encouraging words and guidance on handling two separate homes and her communication.

Response Letter:

Good Morning Angela,

Thank you for reaching out. Divorce is a tough thing for a child to go through. My first thought would be, is there any possible chance you and your husband could get back together? If, for some reason, that is not an option, unfortunately, what your daughter is experiencing is a part of the divorce problem that our country is experiencing.

Unfortunately, I, too, have been divorced myself. I can relate to the pain you are experiencing. I was involved in a divorce that I did not want, and my stepson is 26 right now, and the separation was 11 years ago. He has positively been affected negatively by the divorce. Yet, despite that, he had made it through, yet he has experienced some damage because of it, which to a point is almost inevitable. You need to do your best and offer your daughter to the Lord. Listen to your daughter’s needs and get her involved with church and with other Christian kids.

I wish I had an easy fix for you, but I do not. All I can say is try to talk with your ex respectfully, explaining that both he and you love her and that you are very sorry that you and her dad cannot live together anymore. Divorce is an excruciating thing and will leave scars on you and your ex and her. The Bible talks about God hating divorce, and this is just one of the by-products of separation that you will have to go through prayerfully, https://NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

Try to put your ‘adult emotions’ aside no matter why you got divorced, and be as nice as you can in front of your ex and even say nice things about him to your daughter. You may be divorced, but you do not have to “act” like you are divorced.

Unfortunately, you are in a tough situation and expect some repercussions to your decision to get divorced. It would be wise to go to God in prayer and ask Him what you need to do. Is there a chance that you and your ex could get together all three of you maybe once every other week? That might bring some healing to not only her but the two of you. https://NeedEncouragement.com/healing-from-divorce

To minimize the scares, I would encourage your daughter to talk about her feelings with you, write about her feelings, Make sure you give her enough time and attention, do things with her, and consider seeing a Christian counselor. I suggest that you call 800-633-3446 to talk with someone who can listen to you and give you some insights.

Trust that God has this situation under control and that He has a plan for your life as well as your ex-husband’s life, and as well as your daughter’s life! I will be praying for you, and I suggest that you do the same.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I would like to join the email list.

Response Letter:

Hi Arzoo,

Thank you for contacting us. I will put you on our email list right away.

I send out at least one email per week on average.

Feel free to forward them to others that you know who might be interested.

Have a blessed day!

Bill Greguska

Question:

The slander & lies toward me have escalated to managers on board and given me a disciplinary letter. I’m only 6 1/2 months away from early retirement. I met the union, and they told me to put in some incident reports and rebuttals to the letter I received. In the past, when I tried to defend myself, things kept getting worse. Do I put in incident reports against them? How do I do this and still leave it in God’s hands?

Response Letter:

Good morning, Shelly, I am glad you have reached out for some encouragement. I will try to give you my opinion, yet it is hard to say without knowing what you are going through. A couple of things to keep in mind are:

Pray about this situation asking God for His wisdom. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Pray that you can peacefully talk to the person(s) who have accused you.
Pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
You might consider filing a grievance letter in your defense as long as the claims are false against you.
You need to pray that you do not let your hurt and anger come out in words that will discredit your character.
God will always defend us, yet sometimes we need to speak up for ourselves and defend ourselves respectfully and calmly. Do not overreact and raise your voice or speak ungodly towards them.

Is there someone at work that could give you some advice?

I would respectfully defend myself and confront the person who falsely accused me of making sure I have a witness there (not alone).

I pray that you handle this situation in a mature way that will give honor to God, and when it is all over, give praise to God!

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I lost my baby boy on February, 4th 2018. Ever since I lost him, I’ve been feeling down, and I have days where I break down and cry because I miss him so much. I was only 4 1/2 months, old but I still felt like he was a part of me. I was just starting to love him. He was my first child. I have days where my mood changes when I see babies and pregnant friends. I get very emotional.

Response Letter:

Hi Jenise,

I can understand your feelings of depression, and it must be excruciating. I do not know if my words to you can encourage you. I can not take away your pain, only God and time can, but I can try to point you to Him via this email, hopefully!

I do know who can encourage you, and that is Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Trust in Him today by telling him of your gut-wrenching pain that is still lingering with you. I will try my best to encourage you, and I will also pray for you…

I remember years ago when my daughter’s mother broke up with me, and I was at my wit’s end about it. I recall vividly that a counselor who went to see me told me something profound, she said, “God loves me, and He would understand my feelings of great sadness, yet at the same time, God would also want me to experience joy in my life again despite the loss of my daughter’s mother, and my daughter.” (This happened 34 years ago, and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I felt an unusual peace knowing that I could release my daughter’s mother and my daughter Sherry.) I realized that I still had my life to live, and her words were a great reminder for me.

Later on in my life, my former pastor’s wife, Sue Sauer, also gave me wise counsel to let go of painful memories and disappointments. Sue told me I needed to keep an open palm about all the people and things in my life. This she explained because if God decides to take a person or a thing out of my life (palm), it will be excruciating if I do not have an open palm. God is ultimately in control, realizing God allows things to happen beyond our human understanding.

I am incredibly sorry for the loss of your child. I do have a few suggestions to KEEP in mind to help you:

Keep praying and keep close to God.
Keep in fellowship with other believers in your church and friends. If you do not have a church, find one. https://NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church
Keep talking about this to those you know and trust who can help comfort you and guide you through this time in your life.
Keep busy with your life and other relationships that you are involved in.
Keep open to the leading of the Lord, maybe adoption or trying to have another child might be an option down the road.
Keep your faith and do not doubt the Lord, for he still has a plan for your life.
Keep up with your health, exercise, eat healthy foods, get proper sleep, and drink plenty of water.
Keep your communication with God, write God a letter when you are up to it, lease your child to Him, and seek God’s will.

Please forgive me if I said something that might have hurt you. That was not my intention. I want to encourage you to get your life back on track, as my brother Tom told me during an unfortunate time in my life by telling me something that made sense and helped me. He said, “Do all you can do, and then just turn the page.”

I pray that you will start today to heal as you apply some of my suggested things. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:4-5

https://NeedEncouragement.com/depression

May God bless you

Bill Greguska

(Continued Letter 2)

Hi Jenise,

I was thinking about your situation, and a Christian friend of mine, Peg, told me about a website. Here is a link that I think will be of help to you. At least please watch the video. I think you will find comfort in watching it.

https://www.griefshare.org

May God bless you!

Bill Greguska

Question:

Kindly assist me on what to do to avoid sex before marriage with my partner. We already took it far, have a baby together, and don’t know how to stop it.

Response Letter:

Hi Gaylord,

I am glad you contacted me. To answer your question, I would have to ask you a question, “Do you love the Lord with all your heart? If the answer is no, then whatever I say will not matter to you anyway.

But if the answer is yes, then you would not want to dishonor God by continuing to have sex before marriage.

You would need to talk this over with your girlfriend, and if she really does love you (for more than just having sex with you) and you with her, and if she loves the Lord too, then she would be in agreement with you, and this would not need to be a problem any longer. Problem Solved!!! Bringing up this question tells me that the Holy Spirit has convinced you in your heart. Remember that sin is pleasurable for a season, yet with sin comes spiritual death if not confessed to God. It says in the Bible in 1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. We all need to get right with God, no matter what the sin may be. In your case, it is sex before marriage, but you have a contrite heart seeing that you came to me for godly advice.

When you talk to your girlfriend, you will learn about her character and yours too. If she is unwilling to avoid having sex, I suggest that you be the leader and refrain from it yourself. I can guess that you are living together, which makes things harder. (Check out this link NeedEncouragement.com/sex-outside-marriage )

Here is a scripture that might be of help to you. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Have you ever talked about marriage?

What is stopping you from asking her to marry you?

Do you have a church that you attend?
Do you have any Christian guidance from anyone?

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Gaylord, Believe me when I tell you that I am not judging you or speaking down to you. I agree with the Bible because I was not married and got my girlfriend pregnant, which caused many problems in our lives My ex-girlfriend and I broke up, which caused a great deal of pain and heartache for both of us and my daughter, who is now 34 years old. Thank God that God loves us even when we sin, but many consequences go with our sins that we have no control over.

Fortunately, my daughter and I have a good relationship, and she, too, knows the Lord. Praise God for what the locust has devoured. God has restored! You still have a chance to avoid more judgment of God. I suggest that you get under the umbrella of God and find yourself a church (check out this link NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church ) recommit your lives to God and raise your baby with love for the Lord and with respect and fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

I hope what I have shared will be of help to you and your girlfriend and baby. If you need some help with how to pray (check out this link NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray ), I will be praying that God gives you the strength and wisdom that those in this world will not give you and that you get on the right track today! When you talk with your girlfriend, be very patient and let her talk after telling her what is on your mind about this matter. You will be just fine!

Bill Greguska

You can call this number if you would like to talk with someone who cares a00-633-3446

You can chat with someone by (checking out this link need encouragement/talk with someone

Question:

I need someone to talk to about my family situation.

Response Letter:

Hi Jennifer,

It is very wise for you to want to seek counsel. You have made the right decision!

Please feel free to call this phone number to talk with someone who can give you some guidance. 800-633-3446

You can also chat with someone by visiting https://needencouragement.com/chat/.

I will pray that God gives you the wisdom that you need to help yourself and your family.

God Bless You,

Bill Greguska

Question:

May I please receive a women’s daily devotional study Bible and Daily Devotional or journal?

Response Letter:

Hi, Thank you for contacting us. I hope things are going well for you. As far as getting a devotional from us, I can point you to NeedEncouragement.com/daily-devotionals, where you will find some information on devotionals to help you.

You might also want to contact 800-633-3446 to talk with someone right away, or you can visit NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone that you can chat with someone online if that is something you might find helpful. God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

Need a free Bible

Response Letter:

Hi Robert,

Thanks for contacting me. You can get your own free Bible by going to https://needencouragement.com/free-bible/; Just follow the prompts and sign up, and one will come right to your house. Free Bible and Free Delivery!

May God bless you and continue to draw himself closer to you.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I feel too far gone or like I’ve already failed at being a practicing Christian. I need help. I need help.

Response Letter:

Hi Tamela,

Without hearing more, I would first suggest that you take this concern to God in prayer. If you need some help with prayer, go to needencouragement.com/how-to-pray.

Second of all, I take it that you are not involved in a church. Or, if you are, you then need to talk to those in your church. If you need a church, go to NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

If you need to talk to someone right away, you can call 800-633-3446.

If you would rather chat with someone, you can go to https:/NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone.

I pray for you right now that whatever you are struggling with specifically, the Lord gives you the wisdom to determine what you ought to do. Look up James 1:5, which will encourage you! Do not let yourself become discouraged. Trust that God has a plan for your life, and your job is to find out what it is by reading his word in the Bible and praying about it.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

I need to talk to someone, please.

Response Letter:

Hi Karla,

I got your message, and you can call 800-633-3446, or you can text someone by going to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone.

If you need a church to attend, you can check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

I will pray that whatever you are going through, you ask God to walk with you through it.

Also, pray that God gives you the wisdom to know what to do and what not to do.

May God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

Can you please send me the print book about eating disorders thanks.

Response Letter:

Hi, I am glad you reached out for help. That is an excellent sign that you are serious about getting things in your life together. My first question is, do you believe that God can heal you from your eating problem? If not, my second question is, are you willing to ask God in prayer to help you?

Here is a link that can give you some ideas on how to pray for help. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/I am sorry I do not have any printed materials for eating disorders, but you can check out this link that might help you. https://needencouragement.com/overeating/

Check out the website for other topics that might be of help to you. I pray that you continue to desire to help yourself and that your support will come first of all from Jesus Christ and whoever God puts in your path. Here is a phone number you can call to talk with someone 800-633-3446. Or you can check out https://needencouragement.com/talk-with-someone/I hope what I have shared has been of some help to you…

Bill Greguska ><>

Question:

I am physically disabled, spend most time alone, am a Christian, struggle with loneliness, and sometimes go to the wrong places on the computer. for comfort etc. when I know the answer is Jesus

Do you have any long-term female mentors?

Thank you

Karen

Response Letter:

Hi Karen,

You are wise to want to hook up with a female mentor. I will ask a few lady friends, and hopefully, one of them might be available and interested in being a mentor to you.
I will pray that someone will real soon, yet in the meantime, our number one mentor is Jesus Christ. Go to him in prayer and into his word, and you will find more answers that way. Please contact me back if you do not hear from me by Friday. I am going to Bible study tonight, and maybe one of the ladies there might be available.

In the meantime, you can try to contact this number 800-633-3446. I have discovered that they don’t always answer the first time you call, but they have a beautiful recorded message worth hearing.
God bless you, and we will be in touch soon.

Bill Greguska

(Continued)

Hi Karen,

I am getting back to you sooner than I expected. I just heard from my pastor Mark, I told him about you, and he wanted me to ask you a couple of questions.

1. Do you have a church home, and if so, could they have a mentor for you? If not, visit NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church

2. Are there any Christians near her or family members with whom he could spend time in The Word and fellowship with you?

3. What do you want of a mentor (on the phone, email, in person, Skype, etc.)?

4. Describe your faith walk with Jesus Christ – how long, church membership, born again?

This information will be helpful to know to help make a match for you with a possible mentor.

I am sure that God would be pleased if you had a mentor to help you grow closer to him and others, and apparently, you would like one too, be patient, and I am sure God will hear and answer your sincere request for help in a matter of time.

Bill Greguska

Question:

Lately, I’ve been struggling with stopping masturbation. I grew up in a Christian home, and I know that I have God in my heart, but I struggle with masturbation. I’ll stop for a couple of days, weeks, or months and then I’ll do it again, and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t have anybody to talk to, and I’m not ready to talk to my parents yet. So I need help with stopping it and growing closer to God again.

Response Letter:

Hi Sam,

Since you asked this question, it tells me that you believe that masturbation is a sin, correct?

What would you do if you had a problem with stealing, lying, anger, etc.? What would you do about trying to stop any of those sins?

The first thing you would want to do is pray to God about it and confess your sins because If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

God does not want you to lust, which confirms that fact because you ask how to stop.

Keep on praying and also find someone from your church that you can talk with about this. If you do not have a church, visit NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

As far as not telling your parents, I think your parents understand, and it might be good to share it with either your mom or dad or both. Otherwise, make sure you get yourself an accountability partner if you do not want to tell your parents. NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner

In the meantime, avoid all pornography or anything that triggers you to want to masturbate.

Here are a couple of web pages that will be of help to you to find some answers.

https://NeedEncouragement.com/pornography
https://NeedEncouragement.com/pornography-or-purity

I hope what I have shared has been of help to you.

May God bless you and give you the wisdom and strength you need,

Bill Greguska

Question:

I need a Pastor to talk to. How? No money 🙁

Response Letter:

Morning TJ,

It appears to me that you do not have a church that you belong to. If that is the case, I encourage you to find a local Bible-believing church in your area. Here is a link that can help you do so. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church

The pastors I have talked to in my life have never charged me any money for their help, I have freely offered them money, but nobody had charged me, except one time when I went to a specific pastor/counselor, then there was a charge.

Keep in mind that you can always take your concerns to Jesus Christ in prayer. Here is a link that can help you in doing so. https:/needencouragement.com/how-to-pray

Two more ideas for you:

Call 800=633-3446
Chat with someone NeedEncouragment.com/chat

I hope my suggestions will be helpful to you. I will pray that the opportunity to talk to a pastor or Christian friend opens up for you.

Bill Greguska

(Continued)

Sorry, Sir, I reside in Indonesia.

I have a church here, but I can’t talk to any church in my town, as my situation might worsen.

That’s why I am looking for an online solution, to begin with

Response Letter:

Hi TJ,

I am a little confused by your comment.

You do not need to tell me what you have done or what someone has done to you.

In that case, I would try the following three suggestions that I have listed below.

I will pray that whatever you are going through right now, you know that Jesus Christ knows about it and is there for you to lean on, ask God for wisdom, and He will give it to you generously without finding fault.

Call 800-633-3446
Chat with someone https://NeedEncouragement.com/chat
https://NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety upon him, for he cares for you.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I reed spiritual counseling regarding my relationship.

Response Letter:

Good Morning Wendy,

Your request is pretty vague, so I will try to answer it the best I can. Asking that question in the first place makes me think that you are convicted in your heart that something is not quite right. If that is true, that would be the Holy Spirit convicting you to do what is right. Remember that God is a gentleman who does not make us obey or love Him; rather, he freely allows us to choose to obey and love Him on our own.

First, have you taken the relationship that you are referring to, to God in prayer? NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

My next question would be, do you think your relationship honors and glorifies God or grieves His heart?

I am sure you have the answers to these questions, and I hope this has helped you. If you need to chat with a Christian or talk on the phone with a Christian who could help you more, visit NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone or call 800-633-3446.

I pray that you seek to find the answer to your question if you have not already found it through this email.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

I used to be a person that would retaliate when someone hurt me. I used to be evil. I’m not that person anymore. But people are still seeing me as that person. They are talking about me, calling me names, and trying to make me react like I used to. I prayed about it, but it’s still bothering me. But I’m trying to let go.

Response Letter:

Hi Maria,

When I read your note to me, I asked myself why you spend time with people who do not appreciate you. I figured that this must be a situation at work or something. If that is the case, which I am not sure, it is, but if it is, you ought to let your supervisor be aware of this situation.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

If it is just old “friends,” it sounds like you need new friends. Do you attend a church? Here is a link that will help you find a good church in your area. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church

Since you are no longer that old person, even though it hurts, do not let name-calling and words affect you. Remember that old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can not hurt me.” Try to keep that in mind, and be sure to pray before you get yourself in the area of these ignorant people. Check out NeedEncouragement.com/love-your-enemies

You might want to offer them something small like a can of soda to break the ice and let them know you are no longer that same person. Keep praying that you stay that new person that you are. Stay close to God. Keep in mind what it says in James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

When you prayed to God about this, what did you hear that God told you to do? Keep on doing what is right, and you will find this matter to pass by soon. Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I need prayer in all areas of life. I’m a young childless widow trying to begin again.

Response Letter:

Hi Arena,

I am very sorry to hear about your loss, and my first thought would be to point you to a group called “Greif Share” The website is www.GriefShare.org.

I would also like to send you a couple of links that might be of help to you.

NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone
NeedEncouragement.com/dating
NeedEncouragement.com/be-a-good-friend
NeedEncouragement.com/grief
NeedEncouragement.com/depression
NeedEncouragement.com/make-a-difference

In the meantime, I would strongly advise you to be around people you know and care about you. Isolation is not a good thing, God has created us to be social creatures, and when you are done grieving your loss, the Lord might put someone in your life.

I hope you have a church that you attend. If not, check out this link…NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.
I pray that the grief and loneliness for the loss of your husband can be comforted by God and his loving grace, and I pray that you seek God each day, and I am sure that you will start to see more hope in your life.

I hope my prayer and these links and words I have shared will satisfy your needs at this time. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray.

Feel free to call 800-633-3446.
God bless you!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am seeking help through the word to help me not be jealous. I have never felt this way before. Every time my boyfriend talks to another girl or makes them laugh, I get this horrible jealous feeling in me, and I don’t like it, I want to be able to stop it, and I need help.

Response Letter:

Hi Aubree,

Thanks for sharing with me. I would say that you and your boyfriend need to talk. You are not secure in your relationship with him. He might not be out of line because speaking with others of the opposite sex is reasonable. There must be some root that has come up to disturb you. My pastor’s wife, Sue Sauer, told me something valuable, and I will tell you the same. When we have people or things in our lives, we ought not to hold on to them with white knuckles so tightly because all people and things are gifts from God that need to be placed on an open palm. After all, if God decides to take the person or thing from you, it will not be devastating.

Do not get me wrong; I am not saying that you ought to allow your boyfriend to do whatever he pleases with other women, but you need first to examine your jealousy and figure out what is healthy or what is unhealthy about it. After that, plan to have a sit-down talk or go out to eat and discuss your feelings with him.

Here are a couple of links that I think might be of help to you:

NeedEncouragement.com/be-a-good-friend

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

I pray that you can differentiate the difference between normal jealousy compared to unhealthy jealousy. You can use this situation to see if you and your boyfriend are compatible before going further with your relationship. If you get married to him or anyone else, you are in for a lot of heartache and pain if you have not worked out your jealousy issue.

May God bless you and open your eyes to what you need to learn.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I need the encouragement to help who I am, I have sinned, and I know Jesus had died for our sins. Still, I want to stop sinning because I fear I won’t be accepted into heaven, and I need encouragement because my boyfriend is leaving for basic training in October. I feel like I won’t be able to make it in the 11 weeks that he is gone. I want to have god Jesus and my angel(s) by my side when that time comes so I can be helped, but with my sins, will those prevent me from getting help from the lord or my angel(s)? Please help

Response Letter:

Thank you for reaching out to us. We all need encouragement, and obviously, you see your need for it right now concerning your boyfriend. The best way to point you to Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior to answer your questions. You mentioned that you know that Jesus had died for your sins, but do you understand that he died for your sins. Do you feel that? If so, you have nothing to worry about, although you need to reflect on your relationship with God if you are in doubt.

We will never stop sinning because we are all sinners, but your desire to stop sinning is great.

NeedEncouragement.com/stop-sinning

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

As far as what you said about doubting you will make it the 11 weeks of your boyfriend’s basic training, it tells me you are very close to him and that you guys must have talked about getting married at some point. Remember that since you know Jesus, you know you will not be alone and that the time away, if spent wisely, will be beneficial to both of you in your personal growth.

My pastor’s wife told me something that has helped me that might help you; she said, “wanted to keep everyone and everything in an open palm to the Lord.” That way, if the Lord, in your case, temporarily takes your boyfriend from you for 11 weeks, it will not hurt so badly.

Needencouragement.com/loneliness

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. During the time apart, you can focus on your family and friends you might not have spent much time with lately because of your relationship with your boyfriend. Plan some things to do and people to do them with, write your boyfriend letters and talk to him if and when you can. You will be okay, actually more than okay. You will be stronger. You will discover who you are and what your potential in life is.

If you need someone to talk with, you can call 800-633-3446 or go to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone.

I will be praying that you walk closer to the Lord and that he strengthens you and comforts you while your boyfriend is in basic training.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am a 47-year-old Male with extreme hatred and bitterness in my heart for God. I so hate my life and what he has allowed that I curse him nearly every day. I don’t even believe he is real anymore, but I continue to hate him daily. I struggled for more than a decade to truly believe he was real and that he had a plan for me. I’ve quit believing, only to turn back months or years later. I want things that he has made almost impossible for me to have, which makes me angry only.

I am angry at myself, as well. I’ve tried to understand why anyone has to suffer negative events in this life, but I get it that some of us are just not meant to be happy. The “experts” say we should want nothing more than God, but that has been a struggle. I want a woman’s love. I wanted to be a father. I wanted to know what it’s like to love someone, but this seems like something God doesn’t want me to have.

I used to think the devil was out to get me. I decided that it was God who was out to keep me from being happy. I decided long ago that I would not ever return to trying to live a Christian life since it seems like I will not get what I want. I am consumed with hatred for God and myself. Again, I don’t even think he is real anymore. I guess I just need something to blame for what happened to me that was out of my control. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and I am not blaming God for the fallout from my own mistakes.

He has made it so that I cannot attract a woman. Since I’ll never be a father, the least he could have done was make it easier for me to attract a mate. Part of me wants to continue hating God, and part of me wants to work on eliminating the hatred and rage from my inner being. I’m too old to continue to let life’s negative events keep me down. I’ve tried to accept what I can’t control and forget about being happy and loved, but I can’t. It’s what I want.

I don’t believe Bible verses will help me, but I need someone to help me rid myself of these relationship-killing feelings. I keep to myself because it seems to be my lot in life. I would be grateful if you responded with something that I can use to begin a path to return to the living individual that I believe still lurks inside. I don’t go to church anymore since I stopped believing. Thank you in advance for any help you can give me.

Response Letter:

Hi Cornell,

Thank you for contacting us, and I hope my words will point you to a better place in your life. I understand that you have chosen not to believe in God any longer, and I am sorry to hear that your life has become full of extreme hatred and bitterness, as you mentioned to me.

You asked me to help you, and since you say that you are so far from God at this point When you did go to church and believed in God, I can only imagine that your life was better than it is now. Having hatred and bitterness is a frame of mind and heart that I am sure you want to be delivered from.

There is an expression that says, “If a person makes a mistake and continues to do the thing and expects different results, that is a definition of insanity.” From your letter, I do not think by any means that you are insane, but you have been incredibly hurt by someone or some people in your life and possible disappointments.

Since you do not believe in God or the Bible or that scripture can be of help to you, I guess I would suggest that you try to try something new, which is to go back to your old church or even a new church and sit down and talk to your pastor about these things you shared with me. That is what I would do if I were you!

I know it must be miserable to be so full of hatred and bitterness, but there is hope for you and all of us!

For me, my life was unmanageable for many years, from about the time I was 18 to the time I was about 26, and what I did was lean on the Lord, and I started to trust God and learn what his plan for my life was beside drugs, alcohol, and trouble.

Your other option is to keep on doing what you are doing and expecting different results, but you know what will do that. You say that you are not on good terms with God. In that case, I would at least look at this link because it might help you. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god

You may also want to call 800-633-3446. Or you can chat with someone.

https://needencouragement.com/chat

In the meantime, since I do believe in God and the Bible and that scriptures can point us to what we need in life, in that case, I hope you do not mind if I pray for you! One thing I want you to do for me since you asked for my help is to take 5 minutes to make a list of all the blessings in your life (good things that are happening, such as your health, a place to sleep at night, food to eat, people to talk with, possibly a job, or someone or some people who have helped you out in the past.)

After making your list, try to find the good in all people and situations you are in. In other words, an attitude of gratitude. If you need any help with this list, I am asking you to complete it, and you can always check out for additional ideas https://needencouragement.com/attitude-of-gratitude/

Cornell, you are in my prayers that God can bless you somehow so that you can understand and rekindle your relationship with God, or any way that God can make himself real to you again! I also pray for your extreme hatred and bitterness that God does a miracle in your life!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I can’t afford to counsel. I can barely afford to eat. I’m working full-time and taking care of my adult son and disabled family member. I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. My finances are depleted. I pray not to wake up every night, so I don’t have to worry and work all day.

I have plantar fascists in both feet, had a brain tumor removed that made me dead on my left side, have no balance unless I’m cautious, and same o very tired of this entire situation that there seems to be no end. No help. No agencies will help cause they say that the people I take care of are too young. They are 40 and 49. My son is a drug user. My cousin is in a bad physical condition that he cannot get help for. No doctor around here wants to believe him. I’m just tired of trying, tired of working, tired of living.

Why can’t I just go home to God?

Response Letter:

Hi Julie,

I feel your pain, and I am sorry that your burden is heavy in this season of your life. The first obvious thing I would suggest to you is to take this ALL to God in prayer. Then pray that God can speak to you through someone like a pastor, best friend, relative, maybe even me. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

As far as you said that you could not afford to counsel, the real thing is, you can not afford not to have counseling. Not all counseling costs money. Julie, do you realize that a prayer is a wonderful form of counseling? Here is a link to chat with a Christian online or talk to a Christian on the phone. Maybe a friend you could reach out to who knows you well and can give you some compassion and support. Trying to do things on your own is a recipe for disaster. God has put people in our lives because we are relational people who need each other. NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone

To address your question, “Why can’t I just go home to God?” The answer to that is that God still has a plan for your life! Thinking or wishing not to be here any longer will make your burden that much heavier. I went through a divorce years ago. I took care of my 93-year-old mother for eight years, I was depressed, and I, too, asked God the same question you asked. He gave me the same answer I just gave you! Keep in mind that life is like a river. It may seem as though each day is the same and that the water going by looks the same, but it is new each day, and in time, your situation will change too. Be patient and trust that God has a plan for your life, and seek after God to find out what He wants you to do?.NeedEncouragement.com/depression

I would suggest that you get some help. I am not sure exactly what you need, but you need some assistance, it is obvious! What about your church? The church is there to help you in spiritual matters and other matters in life, and churches have resources to help, so it would give your church a call. If you do not have a church, check out this link.needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

I pray that what I have shared with you is both from my own experiences in my life, also what I have learned from God’s word and what he has revealed to me. Please reach out to the links that I provided and also this phone number 800-633-3446. I am sure that if you try what I have suggested, your situation will improve, or you will see things in a different light.

God bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you and give you grace!

Bill Greguska

Julie’s Response Back

Thank you for the encouragement. I have a friend who tries to encourage me, but I try not to burden her too much. She talks about the blessings of God, and I see them in her life as well as what I might call the defeats as well, but she doesn’t let them stop her. Unfortunately, I’ve relied on friends before, but some people aren’t equipped with the ability to see you succeed past what they want you to. It usually ends the friendship if I end up doing better than they want. Maybe it’s their flaw that they want to be needed, but as I begin to stand on my own, they generally don’t like that and become underhanded, so I’m very reluctant to involve people.

I can barely make it through a work week now and have not found a church in my area that I feel comfortable in. I was in a strict Pentecostal Church for 10 years, and I have certain beliefs that not many have. The new music and technology leave me feeling cold inside.

I’m tired. I’m just so tired. I miss my family who has passed on. None are left here that love me. I would never consider suicide, but I wouldn’t fight death if it came. I want and need some peace, love, and understanding.

Everyone expects me to do and fix everything. I’m close to a nervous breakdown, I feel.

I’ll try the links. Thank you for writing back.
Julie

Question:

Hi, I just want to inquire about a Christian counselor. I would be very grateful to have a believer to talk to.

Response Letter:

Hi Tolu,

It is wonderful that you are interested in learning about a Christian counselor. God’s Word will lead you to where you need to be!

I first would suggest that you pray about your request to God. He will lead you to what exactly you need and who you need to talk to.

You can check out NeedEncouagement.com/how-to-pray.

Also, you can then call 800-633-3446, or you can contact NeedEncouragement.com/chat.

I pray that you get the counseling that you need as soon as possible.

God bless you!

Bill Greguska

Question:

Do you counsel outside your location?

Response Letter:

Hi Tolu,

To directly answer your question, it is no. We do not counsel from this location. I have pointed you to a couple of good resource links and phone numbers 800-633-3446.

Your pastor should help you, but if you do not have a church of your own that you attend, check out this link.needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

Follow the Lord!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I feel like nobody cares about what happened to me but GOD. I feel like I should have reported physical and mental abuse done to my sister by her husband. I was only fifteen at the time, and my sister told me not to tell anyone! I saw the abuses with my own eyes, and my brother-in-law held a gun to my sister’s head. He would always beat the children. But my sister made me promise not to tell anyone about it. I was also molested by my brother from the age of ten to thirteen.

I told my sister, and she told me not a big deal. I have never told anyone else, not even my husband of 37 years. I was also raped when I was 18 years old. It was a boyfriend that we had dated for a year and worked as missionaries. My brother-in-law would flirt with me, and I told my sister, and she said he didn’t mean anything about it.

Last year he sent me a very sexual text, and I showed it to my sister, and she said he didn’t mean anything about it. I also showed it to my husband, and he said he was sick. I told my husband that I forgave my brother-in-law, but I didn’t want to be around him. My husband told me, you’re not a forgiving person who hurts. I feel guilty that I never stopped my brother-in-law

Response Letter:

Good Morning Lynda,

It is very honorable that you want to keep your promise to your sister, yet you need to weigh things out and also figure out if it was fair that your sister made you promise silence in the first place.

When people go to treatment, they are promised to share with the counselor that everything is confidential. (kind of like you and your sister) If the counselor knows that the person is at risk of physical harm, or suicide, they can report it.

Having said this, I think it might be time to break the silence for your sister’s good and your own sake concerning your depression and guilt feelings.

Think of it this way. You can keep things the way they are, and nothing will get better, or you can take a chance to speak up, and healing will begin. I am not saying that it will go smoothly, but as an outsider, it seems the best way to handle the situation you are in is to contact the authorities.

I hope this has helped you. I will be praying that God gives you wisdom and strength to do what is right and best! Remember that God is in control, and He will be done.

If you want to speak with someone about things, you can call 800-633-3446

God bless you, and I am sure you will make the right choice!

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com/grief

NeedEncouragement.com/chat

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

Question:

I need to find urgent Christian accommodation as l am being robbed and abused in an over 55 complex, this has now gone on for 115 months and l want to move back to Sydney. Neighbors have told me that it is the secretary, the abuse is making me sick, and l no longer want to live there. Do you know of any type of lockable boarding house near Rockdale?

The abuse is horrific, and it is like living in a war zone. There is a grey beam of light in my bedroom at night, and l don’t know where it is coming from but have been advised to get out. I find it very hard to trust people, and I just want to get out ASAP. I am not in paid employment as I injured my back and legs at work from a Nursing career. How much does the counseling cost? Deborah

Response Letter:

Hi Deborah,

I am sorry it took longer than usual to get back to you, I am not sure what to tell you what to do, but I know you need to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray.

You are having some dark days. If you are being robbed, you need to contact your local police department and report your loss.

Likewise, it does sound like the counsel you received to leave your apartment to find a new place to live.

Do you have a church you attend? If not, check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

Trust that God has a better plan for you in your life, be sure to pray to discover exactly what His will for you is during this time in your life.

I pray that you find wisdom and peace as you to the Lord for your strength!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am Hopeless after the divorce and abuse by my husband. I need help and counseling.

Response Letter:

Hi Julie,

Without knowing more about what you are dealing with, specifically, I can tell you that God can and will help you when you call out to Him in prayer. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray would be my first suggestion.

Do you attend church regularly if you do not have a church and would like to find one to help you with fellowship and hear God’s word spoken to you each week. You would also benefit from reading from your Bible, a good book to start in would be Proverbs or 1 John, but actually, you would benefit from just about anywhere you started to read.

Are you eating healthy? Are you getting enough sleep?
Be sure you get some exercise, drink plenty of water, reach out to close friends, and do not isolate yourself.
Are you feeling rejected still? NeedEncouragement.com/feeling-rejected
Are you holding on to resentments? NeedEncouragement.com/forgiveness

You say that you need counseling. I suggest finding a counselor by Monday because you might not ever get the help you need if you procrastinate. Keep praying for yourself, and I will pray for you too. I pray that God gives you wisdom and peace of mind knowing that you are His child, and He has a plan for your life.

Bill Greguska

Thanks. I need to speak to someone in NeedEncouragement as I don’t know what to do in the future.

Hi Julie,

Have you prayed about this since I responded to you earlier? I am a Christian, and the advice I gave you is about as much as I can offer you at this time. Please find yourself a counselor and keep on praying.

I pray that you try to do what the Bible says in Peter 5:7. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

You can call 800-633-3446 and talk to someone who can give you more help. Please re-read what I wrote to you and try to follow my suggestions.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Hi Rebecca,

I found something else that might shed some light on your situation.

I am praying that you will find the love of the Lord real soon!

I am trying to help you!

https://needencouragement.com/salvation/

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

From: Rebecca
Subject: Re: https://NeedEncouragement.com “Please help”

Thank you so much.

I’ve confessed and confessed. Why don’t I feel any different? Are my feelings lying to me?

I want to accept him with all of my heart. I truly want to be saved, and I want to serve him.

Sent from my iPhone

Hi Beckey,

Salvation is not only for receiving the security of knowing that when we die, we will be in heaven with the Lord. It is also essential here on earth. What you are going through right now, if you had the Lord in your life, you would be able to find the peace that you are so desperately striving for. Here is a scripture I would like you to read over a couple of times and allow it to sink into your heart and mind.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Beckey, Did you take the time to check out the pages that I shared with you?

https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

Psalm 103:11-12 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
5 Surely, I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

I hope what I have shared helps you. Beckey, you said, “I’ve read that faith is a gift from God. Is it been withheld from me because of the things I have done? I have evil inside me, and I hate it.”

It seems as though you have not confessed your sins to God. Once you do that, you will see things differently, and God will no longer see you as an undeserving sinner but rather as a sinner saved by His grace because of the sacrificial death of His son Jesus Christ. I hope you take my advice because God loves you and me too (I am a sinner saved by His grace, and you can be too). I was addicted to alcohol and drugs, and my life was a mess before I was introduced to God, and I accepted Him into my life. https://needencouragement.com/testimony-of-bill-greguska/

I am praying for you to have ears to hear and eyes to see that you can be saved from your past!

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

From: Rebecca

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Please help”

I have confessed my sins to God, but I feel so condemned. I can’t seem to snap out of this feeling that I know he loves me, but I’m unsaved. I want to accept Jesus’ sacrifice I truly truly do. Why can’t I? I’ve read that faith is a gift from God. Is it been withheld from me because of the things I have done? I have evil inside me, and I hate it.

Sent from my iPhone

Thank you for your reply. I do know that Jesus is Lord. I just cannot seem to accept his sacrifice no matter how hard I try. I just feel too condemned. I feel spiritually detached and numb. I need help with this as I want to accept him fully. I don’t want to feel numb like this. Please help

Hi Becky,

I am glad you wrote in for help. I will try to help you the best way I know how encouraging you to keep your eyes on the Lord.

Have you ever accepted Jesus Christ and His sacrificial death on the cross as your payment for all the sins you have ever committed and will ever commit? Is Jesus your Lord and Savior, and are you in a personal relationship with God each day? Do you believe that Jesus Christ loves you and that He died for your sins as well as mine? I think that is where you need to start to get things right with God. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

See more below in red… Also, check the link pages!

I pray that you take all your concerns to the Lord in prayer. I pray that God frees you from the bad memories that seem to keep bothering you. If you have been encouraged so far and want to ask any questions about what I have shared, please feel free to do so. May God bless you and help you focus on what you can do, not what you can not do.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: https://NeedEncouragement.com “Please help”

Bill

https://NeedEncouragement.com

From: “Becky”

Subject: Please help

Message Body:

Please help me

I had a lot of issues growing up with my mental health when I was a child. I had to put things in certain ways. Otherwise, thoughts came into my head that something bad would happen to my family and be all my fault. I was detached at school and used to think about what I had done to deserve the illness I had, and I just couldn’t seem to fit in. I grew up a teenager rebel, disrespecting my parents, drinking, and taking drugs when clubbing. I also had 2 abortions when I was younger, which I truly regret now. https://needencouragement.com/abortion-remorse/

I met a man in my mid-20s. He was nice at first, we got married then the abuse started. It wasn’t easy to live with, to be honest, but he wasn’t a very nice person. He was abusive. We had children, and I was a great mother at first, but the atmosphere in the house with my husband was awful. He didn’t help that much with the children at all. Keep in mind that these things are in the past. You need to let them go and move on with what is in your life today!

There were domestic incidents with him. I found out one day when I was pregnant with my third child that the police had been looking for my ex-husband for 10 years as he was accused of sexually abusing children. He convinced me that he didn’t do it, and I stuck by the monster for a while. I just felt so low and controlled. He kept saying he would get the kids taken off me. How could I have done this? How could I have stuck by him??? I did eventually leave him before his court case, and luckily he was convicted. I was left with scars so emotionally deep from everything that I started drinking more and more and neglected my children’s emotional needs. I was drunk every night, selfishly trying to block the pain out. I was horrible and have scarred my amazing children in the process. They don’t deserve a mother like me. The wonderful thing about God is that He is a God of second and third chances. Sure, you make some bad decisions, and you realize it now. Have you confessed your sins to God?

I then met an amazing man who took me, my problems, and my children on. I was still drinking, though. I couldn’t face the person I was, so I drowned myself in a drink. I even drank when I was pregnant with my fourth child. I’m so so selfish. I got so drunk on the occasion that I used to go out and cheat on my amazing partner. I had that much drink. I didn’t know what I was doing, and the guilt after was immense. It still is. I am so so evil for hurting my family like this. I remember when my lovely nanna was dying, and my mum and sister stayed with her with Harley sleeping for 7 days. I had evil thoughts about my nan on her deathbed, calling her names in my thoughts.

They were unwanted thoughts, but I cannot forgive myself for this either. I get these unwanted thoughts a lot. Becky, there is something called the fruit of the spirit, Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. The words self-control is something we all need, and I think you need an extra dose of it. I have got better over the years and started going to church. I promised God loads of times I wouldn’t drink and kept on doing it, just not as much even though I know it hurt my family. I’ve put alcohol and myself before God and my family, and it’s caused so much damage. I know God has given me loads of chances, but I’ve let him down. I had a vision a few years ago telling me I would get ill like this, and I was going to hell.

My doctors think I have motor neuron disease, so I’m terminal and deteriorating fast. I feel like I deserve this death. I’m not worth it. I’ve not lived in God’s ways, and I cannot seem to accept Jesus’ forgiveness no matter how hard I try. I just feel so worthless and defeated. I have stopped drinking now, but I should have done this for God and my family way before. I should have done the right thing ages ago, and now it’s too late. Please, people, turn away from your sin. You may end up with my fate.

Now my family is going to suffer even more as they will grieve for me. I want to be a good person, and I want Jesus’ forgiveness. I’m just a horrible, horrible person. I feel so bad after everything I’ve done. Please forgive me, Lord Will he forgive me 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I feel nothing at the moment. It’s like I’ve become detached. Please help. Take a deep breath and think about all the many things you are grateful for. List as many things as you possibly can and tape them on your mirror in the bathroom, so you can see the list every day when you look into the mirror. Thank God for all your blessings and while you are at it, find someone you can encourage and get busy encouraging them!

Question:

I was praying and trusting God for a wife, and God brought my wife into my life in 2012. Once we got to know each other, we realized that we had some genetic incompatibility that could affect our children should we go forward. We fasted and prayed to seek the Lord’s will and sought Christian counsel to know if God told us not to marry or trust him. All the counsel we received was to go forward and trust God. I fasted and prayed as well, just to be sure I heard God. I believed I heard God clearly at that time that he wanted us to move forward in faith and that all would be well. My wife had the same conviction too.

We had our first and second children, and they both had the genetic disease that we knew was a possibility. To make matters worse, each child’s chances of having the disease is one out of four children. The doctors said our case is unfortunate for both our children to have the sickness. The first three years were with God as we were still holding on to the faith that God would see us through and that his will, would be done. However, the last year and a half have been a struggle as the weight of caring for them began to wear on us. My wife and I have found ourselves questioning the goodness of God and why he did not lead us from the troubles since we wanted direction and were open to his instruction when deciding to get married.

To make matters worse, we even found out our Children’s condition could have been avoided if we had sought a genetic counselor’s counsel and had children through IVF. I’ve always been a practical person, even with my faith, and I felt like I did not apply wisdom in the biggest decision of my life (outside my salvation). My children get sick a lot as a result of the decision I made. There’s hardly a day I don’t think about the decision and how things could have been different if I had just spoken to a genetic counselor instead of a spiritual counselor.

It’s affected my ability to pray and trust God. I feel like God was absent and did not guide me when I needed his direction the most. I feel guilty, and it has affected everything around me, and I’m just not sure how to move forward. I’m spending tonight writing this in the hospital because my daughter is not well, and it goes back to the decision I made. It looks like my whole life revolves around just one bad decision, and my children will bear the results even after me.

I believe God can heal them, but I don’t even have faith in God right now because of my trust issues. The year 2018 has been the worst year I can remember in every aspect, especially in my spiritual walk. It’s like my relationship with God just disappeared. I’ve not moved from the things of God anymore because of the constant guilt/hurt and unanswered questions. I really cannot reconcile my reality with the promises I believe God made me.

Somehow I need to know how to break free from where I am.

Response Letter:

Hi Olu,

I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling, yet I encourage you to stand firm, knowing that God is in control. He will not give you and your family (and me) more than we can handle without a way out from under it. Pray to God for His guidance and His grace. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

Try to make the best of what is going on, and reach out to your church for support and the community for any assistance they may offer. Remember what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.

I will pray that you and your wife can find peace in your situation and that God watches over your children. We all have regrets in our lives, but if we are wise, we cast our sorrows to the Lord and not pick them up again.

I know it might be difficult for you and your wife, but if you could, especially now, try to find things to be grateful for. NeedEncouragement.com/attitude-of-gratitude

No matter if God heals them or not, that ought not to affect your opinion of the Greatness of God. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, so please do not lose heart. Instead, pray each day and also fast, pleading to God for healing. Remember that God is good all the time, all the time. God is good. Again, I am sorry to hear that you all are struggling. This must be very challenging for you.

In the meantime, take good care of yourself, your wife, and your kids. Find your support from your church or Christian counselor who can walk with you through your difficulties.

May God bless you and keep you and your family safe and healthy.

Bill Greguska

Question:

Hello,

I just got married, and I’m pregnant. We have a blended family. All our children are under 10. We each have 2 young children. My husband and I have difficulty communicating, and he said he wouldn’t speak to me until I get a counselor because I don’t listen to him. Being ignored is deeply hurting me. So we need help. How soon can we speak to someone? We are both saved/believers.

Response Letter:

Hi Sharon,

Maybe look at it that your husband wants to talk with you but is afraid it would not be productive without a counselor involved. If you can use this time to talk more about superficial things until you get yourself a counselor, that might be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes taking a temporary rest from deep-involved conversations that so often turn into arguments could be just what you guys need.

Keep in mind that your husband and I are men, and we do not understand what you must be going through being pregnant and being a woman. Trust that your husband loves you and is trying to do his very best. I do not know the whole story, but it sounds like your husband loves you and wants the best for both of you and your children!

Please continue to pray about this and pray for your husband to find a counselor for the two of you real soon. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

You might not like what he is proposing, but maybe he has a great idea if you step back and think. Talk about other things, go to a movie, take a walk, play a board game, laugh, and enjoy life. Life is too short of taken so seriously.

You can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a trained Christian counselor who might help shed some more light on your situation.

May God bless you while you go through this struggle. I will pray for peace, wisdom, trust, and love between the two of you!

Bill Greguska

Response Back To Me

Hello Bill,

Thank you so much. Yes, I completely agree with you. I would be open to speaking about superficial things. He completely ignores me, though. Like no speaking at all as if I don’t exist. It hurts me deeply, and I feel so alone here already because I just moved from Canada. I do believe all you said is true. I just wish he wouldn’t ignore me like that. I’m hurting about it. I feel that I just leave for a few days rather than walk around the apartment and be ignored. It scares me, too, because it’s so painful. I’m praying and asking God to help me and be with me in this tough time. I need the Lord to do that for me.

Hi Sharon,

Do not lose heart. Trust that God put you together with your husband, and God will be faithful to complete what He has started. Have faith that things will be okay, and get yourself a counselor ASAP Don’t forget to lean on your other friends in the meantime. I pray that you get a counselor by no later than Monday, okay? Please make this a top priority!

Bill Greguska

Hello Bill, Thank you so very much for ministering to me. Is there any way possible you can talk to the two of us Monday morning or afternoon? This is so important for us and of course our very young children. My number is

Hi Sharon,

No, I am very sorry we do not do that. You will need to get yourself a counselor, as I suggested.

Or you can call 800-633-3446 to talk to a trained Christian counselor who might help shed some more light on your situation until you get a real counselor, as I suggested.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

My name is Carlos. I need HELP coping and knowing how to deal with my current situation with my wife. She seems to be in love with a guy who used to be my friend (even though she says he’s just a friend), I treated him like a son, lived with us for a few months, but I know they’ve had an inappropriate relationship for more than a year.

They both betrayed my trust, and even though we’ve been separated for four months (living in the same house but sleeping in different rooms), things have not changed, and as a matter of fact, she has changed even more. She is still contacting this fella even after I asked him to leave my house and stay away from my wife; apparently, she looked for him, and he hasn’t been able to resist the temptation. I’m sure they have been intimate (especially since she goes out and sometimes doesn’t come back home until the following day).

She says she likes her freedom, especially now that she works. I’m pretty sure she has been seeing this guy who gives her all kinds of gifts and money. She has become very ambitious. The worst part is that we have two teenage boys and a five-year-old daughter suffering a lot from this ordeal. I don’t know what to do, I’ve prayed and have been lovely with her, and she makes me feel at times that things could be worked out, but since I feel she is probably in love with this other guy, she says she is not ready to recommit to God or me.

I asked her to cut all ties with this guy, but she said she wouldn’t because he’s a really good friend. She was born in the faith but is mad at God for many reasons and does not want to know anything about God. I feel trapped and don’t know what to do.

Response Letter:

Hi Carlos,

I am very sorry to hear what you and your wife are going through. Without knowing all the important details, I think that a counselor is very appropriate at this time.

You are only speculating about a couple of things you mentioned, yet I understand your thinking. I would feel jealous too. But what can you do to make things better?

The first thing I would suggest would be to pray about this situation and pray with her too. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
The second thing is to physically un-divide your house and get back in the same bedroom with your wife ASAP (today if possible). Four months is too long to withdraw from one another. You are setting the stage to get either a separation or divorce if you do not do something soon. Maybe make yourself more available to your wife so that this other guy would not get so much of your wife’s attention. Have you been treating your wife in a loving, respectful manner?
The third thing I would suggest would be to get a counselor ASAP preferably a Christian counselor. Set this up on Monday, and do not procrastinate doing this.

Feel free to call 800-633-3446 and talk to a trained Christian counselor. You have to do all you can to keep your marriage together. You have to fight for your marriage; otherwise, the devil will sneak in and break apart the two of you. It will take some work, but it is much less than dealing with a divorce, which I went through in 2007. I will be praying for you, and you pray too!

Since you wrote to me, I have faith that you can handle this situation. Otherwise, why would you even ask for help in the first place? I am telling you that you just need God to show you what to do, and how to do it, and believe that He can reconnect your marriage and family.

All you can do is do all you can do. Your wife will determine part of this. (when was the last time you bought her flowers or took her out to eat or anything else that she would like to do? That might be a helpful start to show her in a material-type way that you love her.

God bless you keep close to God and stay calm!

Bill Greguska

Check out these links. They might be helpful to you.

NeedEncouragement.com/good-marriage
NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage
NeedEncouragement.com/prevent-divorce

Question:

Hi, I’m a Christian. I deal with this ongoing anxiety and some depression. My pastor recommended I find a coach or counselor for my downtimes. I had a rough childhood, just dealing with anger from my past. I would like to be on your email list, please. I took down your number to maybe call sometime.

Response Letter:

Hi Sherry,
I can understand your situation with depression. The first thing I would suggest you do would be to pray about this depression you are experiencing. Check out NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

Maybe there is a reason for depression, such as situational depression. Sometimes, the loss of a family member, or friend, divorce, loss of a job, broken relationship, etc., can trigger depression. I suffered from terrible depression 2 major times in my life. All I can say is that being on anti-depressants for a few months is not a bad idea. I was on Cymbalta for several months, and it seemed to take the weight off me relatively quickly, so I could start to function again. Be sure to contact your doctor.

I would also suggest visiting NeedEncouragement.com/depression and also NeedEncouragement.com/control-your-anxiety.

In the meantime, I will pray for you that you keep busy and try to exercise at the very least by walking daily and keeping in touch with your friends and family as much as possible. Do not isolate yourself. That is not a good idea at all. Try to stay away from sugar, and alcohol, and be sure to get on a regular sleeping schedule such as 10:00 or 11:00 pm, depending on your schedule.
Also, feel free to call 800-633-3446 any time, 24/7.

My last suggestion would be to encourage someone else by doing something out of your way for someone else, such as an older person, disabled person, or anyone else. This will help them, but it will also help you get out of your problem (which is a problem), this way, you will be focusing on someone else besides yourself. I did that years ago, and it did help me a lot. I even started this website because my pastor and his wife suggested that I encourage others with the encouragement that I received from Christ during all the difficulties I experienced in my life.

You will be okay, Sherry, it may take a little while, but you will see the Son Shine again soon. (not a typo)

May God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

I have been addicted to porn, and masturbation is a Christian hope to find one of your free counselors one of your Christian friends who will be dedicated to helping me. I want to change cos I love God. Still, porn has been holding me back sometimes, and I feel like I will never get free; I hope you help me.

Response Letter:

Hi Joseph,

I am happy you contacted us to let you know that pornography is an addiction besides being a sin. The good thing is that you want help with this issue. To let you know that there is help for all sins, God does not look at one sin as bigger than another. All sin is sin!

The first thing I would suggest to you is to pray about it. Here is a link to help you pray if you do not pray regularly.

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to- pray

After you have prayed about it, then I would like you to go to:

Needencouragement.com/pornography and also

NeedEncouragement.com/pornography-or-purity

There are many resources on the two pornography pages. In the meantime, I will be praying for you and that God hears your prayers that you want to live a pure life even though you are struggling with pornography right now. I pray that the chains that got your heart will be broken, and you can walk free of this ugly sin and addiction.

You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to a Christian counselor 24/7.

Bill Greguska

Reply Back

Thanks for your help am in Ghana I feel like not having someone helping me also plays a role in why I am addicted. I quit for a month or two, pray hard, read my bible, and I am back to this in the next I know. Sometimes I feel like quitting, but I know quitting doesn’t help me anyway. If I could get a mentor to help me, I would be very happy. You might say why not find one here in Ghana is really difficult cause I tried most, and you don’t see the dedication is like you are burdening them, and the moment you fall you feel worse I am going to try out the pages, but personal help will be beneficial.

Joseph

Hi Eve,

What do you think you are anxious about? Has this been going on for a long time?

Maybe the intimacy lacking in your marriage could be stress-related or a possible unconfessed sin in either or both of your lives.

What has been your purpose in the past years? Why not get back into whatever was working well for you before, or pray to God about opening a new door of opportunity for you?

https://needencouragement.com/marriage-tips/

The little that you shared, makes it hard for me to give you more advice.

Have you been praying?
Have you been reading your bible?
Have you been eating healthy?
Have you been exercising?
Have you been social with your friends and family?
Have you been trying to help and encourage others?
Is there any unconfessed sin in your life?

God bless you,

If you wish to share more, feel free to email me back.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Marriage

Message Body:

Anxiety, lack of intimacy in my marriage, don’t know what my purpose is

Hi Liz,

I would encourage you to listen to your doctor’s advice. If you have anything specific you would like to mention to me, I would like to help you.

Feel free to email me back. Here is a page from my website you might like to see.https://needencouragement.com/mental-illness/

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Addiction and depression

Message Body:

I have struggled with mental health issues my entire life and have not fully engaged the Lord’s help…need direction and help from counseling through Jesus

Hi Melanie,

Thank you for sharing. While reading your email, I thought of the scripture:

1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

You have a few choices to make, two of them I would not suggest:

Not to do anything about this.
To entertain the idea of divorce.

Instead, I would suggest that you:

Trust God.
Keep praying.
Open your Bible and start reading it. Start with Psalms and read a chapter each day.
You can find a marriage counselor.
Could you share this with a close girlfriend or one-on-one counseling?
Try to talk with your husband, letting him know your feelings, and not blame him even though the shoe may fit.
It would help if you forgave him, not for his sake, but for your sake.
Continue to try your best to respect him.

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “relationship”

Hello Bill,

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my outcry. Yes, your words have helped me. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter I will be praying for you as well. I found it strange that your name is Bill, that is my son’s father’s name. Where they reside now. Their father drinks and allows them to partake in worldly video games and behavior that I didn’t allow at my house. The last time I had my boys over, I confronted them about the video games and language, and the fact that I wasn’t going to allow it over here. They responded by saying ” Well then we just won’t come over then”. I raised them in the church I just pray that the lord will work on their hearts and I don’t have to wait too long for restoration.

As for my current situation with my new husband. I’m 39 and he is 22. I have been walking with God since I was 5 years old and well, as for him I helped him pray the prayer of salvation when we were dating. But he says that God is boring and told me he believes in “Spiderman ” more…. that is very alarming to me. He says he’ll go to church to entertain the idea but, he is only going to go for one day a week. He calls it a waste of his time and claims to have more important things to spend his time doing other stuff. If it were up to me I’d almost live in the church. I love church and learning about God and his ways. Since I’ve been with him for almost 2 years now. I have backed off of my calling and devotion to God and learning about God. I do listen to devotionals and podcasts on my own time. I want to be more involved but, feel like I have to silence my desire because of my new marriage. I try to listen to Christian music and he says it’s annoying. I’m not sure what I should do. I got unequally yoked and now I have a baby on the way with him.

My daughter has even made comments to me about how I have changed and am not on fire for God like I used to be. I feel like it’s being a bad example to her.

I am 15 weeks pregnant and just had Covid. When I asked my husband to help take care of me and my daughter who was also feeling ill. He complained. This isn’t the first time I have been sick and forced to care for myself. It’s hard because my ex-husband of 11 years was very good at a couple of things like working and providing financially, caring for me when I was sick, and helping out around the house without asking. Not with Nathan ( my new husband) it’s always a fight or me begging him. Most of the time I just get up and do it and he sits playing on his phone. If he does help I never hear the end of it. I know I shouldn’t complain or compare but, it’s hard. Do you have any advice as to how to get him to help out graciously??

I think if I didn’t get pregnant I wouldn’t have married him. I have had thoughts of giving up. I pray and things have gotten a little better since we first started dating but still a long way to go. I have been abusive for 39 years. My parent abused me, my 2 ex-husbands, and my siblings. I don’t have anyone who has ever displayed unconditional love for me. I have been lost and alone most of my life. I have my daughter that’s about it. I feel like will never have happiness and a normal life. I do have God and that’s kept me going.

I don’t know which direction to head next. Please pray for me and if you have any advice I’m open to hearing it.

Melanie Hedger

On Thu, Jun 9, 9:04 PM NeedEncouragement.com / Bill wrote:

Hi Melanie,

I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I have had an estranged daughter for almost the last two years. What I have done was to keep her in an open palm to the Lord. I have reached out to her via phone messages, texts, and a couple of letters in the mail. I did all I could do. We can not make anyone love or respect us.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

My 39-year-old daughter has chosen the world and insisted that I did not talk anything about God, Jesus, the Bible, or the scriptures. Have you reached out to your children apologizing for anything you may have offended them with what you said or have done? If so, you are in the same boat I am in, so I would suggest putting your children in an open palm and trusting that the Lord is in control. Turn the page and know that you have done all you can. Pray that the Lord will soften their hearts just as I have been with my daughter.

https://needencouragement.com/encouragement-for-teens/

I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If you have any questions about what I said, feel free to email me back.

Do not lose heart, but guard it. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

God bless you!

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
From: Melanie H

Subject: relationship

Message Body:

Hello,

I reaching out to you for help with some Godly advice for me. I am 39 years old and 2 years ago I divorced my 11-year abusive husband. In doing so I now have 3 estranged sons… ages 21, 17, and 15. And I have custody of my 11-year-old daughter and a new baby due in November with my new husband. We have 18 years of difference between us. He is not as much of a believer as I am and it has caused some tension. My heart breaks daily from losing connection with my sons and I wonder if they will ever talk to me again.

Hi Megumi,

You have done well by confessing your sin to God, plus asking your husband and boys for forgiveness are some significant steps to healing.

I strongly encourage you to go to your pastor and make an appointment to see you and your husband ASAP.

If you do not have a church, here is a link to help you find one. https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “prayer needed”

Thank you for your prayers. I have confessed my sins to God and I am at peace. I have asked my husband and my boys for forgiveness, too, but I have hurt them very much, and my husband said he cannot forgive. He is not a believer so that also makes it harder. My boys are 14 and 11, and according to my husband, the 14-year-old is disgusted by my betrayal. The 11-year-old is still young, so he doesn’t completely understand what happened, but my husband thinks he will also feel disgusted once he gets a little older. I am very heartbroken over this, but I know there are consequences to sins. I’m praying may God’s will be done.

Megumi

Smile 🙂

Megumi Furukawa

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “prayer needed”

Hi Megumi,

I know that life can become complicated and very difficult sometimes. There are consequences when we sin, yet at the same time, we have a God of love and mercy. I pray that you take your sin to God in prayer and keep in mind what it says in…

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Keep praying and ask God to forgive you. Ask your husband and boys to forgive you too. I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. May you find your forgiveness from God and also from your family.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Prayer needed”

From: Megumi

Subject: prayer needed

Message Body:

My husband has asked for a divorce after finding out that I had been secretly in touch with a classmate of mine on and off for the last 8 years. We have two boys together, but he has asked for full custody of them. I had been unfaithful to my husband, so I have agreed to his request. I don’t know where to go from here… Please pray for God’s guidance and wisdom in figuring out what to do from here on forward. Thank you.

Hi Ruth,

I trust that you have been praying about your situation.

I know what is like to be torn between two important people, yet the answer is to pray bout it and let the Lord direct your steps!

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Relationship counseling”

Hello Mr. Bill,

Yes, and I am still praying about it but I don’t want to hurt my parents and I never think of taking drastic decisions in my life. I pray very much when it comes to these delicate topics.

I am very close to my parents. I don’t like to push anything or make my own decisions in this particular situation. It’s very difficult to speak about these topics to my parents as I have seen their reactions and never want to hurt them. My boyfriend respects my parents. For the past 2 years, he has left all his worldly habits and even left his friends because he wanted to change and be with me. He has been very honest with me from the time we started speaking. He even got a job which we were both praying would fall through and it did.

So the only option for me now is to pray and ask God for his guidance. Please continue to keep me and especially my parents in your prayers. Thank you for replying to me. God bless you.

Ruth

On Mon, 17 / 12:02 am NeedEncouragement.com / Bill, <> wrote:

Hi Ruth,

Have you prayed about this situation at all?

If not, I advise you to pray about it and give your parents another chance by humbly talking to them. You do not want to sever your relationship with your boyfriend, but at the same time, you must be old enough to make your mind up. There are consequences to all our decisions, if you want to push and get your will done, there will be natural consequences.

Try to keep a level head and take your time to figure this out.

Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—

Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
From: Ruth

Subject: Relationship counseling

Message Body:

Hello…

I need counsel and prayer. I am in a relationship with one of the members of my church but my parents are against it. I can’t express myself to anyone as nobody wants to listen to me or him. He and I had some issues in the past. He has left all his unhealthy lifestyle for the past 2 years which I helped him get through it by using the word of God. We knew each other growing up in church. He has loved me for 14 years. In 2020, he proposed to me. But both his and my parents don’t want us together. My parents don’t want me to get involved with any boy in our church, plus his parents don’t want to hurt my parents so they forced/threatened him to get engaged to a girl who is not a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ (staunch Roman Catholic). Certain people spoke about him to my Father which was all in the past and many falsely accused him. So, my father doesn’t want us together. If Jesus can forgive people of their sins why can’t people understand and forgive or even listen to the other side? I can’t bear to watch him get married to someone else because I’m deeply in love with him. He has always treated me with respect and he has protected my name when others were trying to speak about me. He said, ‘ If they force me to get married to any girl, the very next day I will divorce her and I’ll come back to you as I love only you. In this situation, I don’t know what to do. the only thing I can do is to pray. I don’t have a voice to express my thoughts or emotions to anyone. Please help me. I need counsel.

Hi Cyprian,

I am glad you reached out, yet you did not say much about your situation except that you are discouraged.

If you wish to share more details, that would be fine, but with what you shared, my response to you is I pray that you take your concerns to the Lord in prayer and keep your eyes on Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–

From: CYPRIAN OKWUCHUKWU UNIGWE

Subject: CHALLENGES / DISCOURAGEMENT

Message Body:

I am feeling discouraged at the moment following a series of challenges around me and my immediate family which comprises my wife, children, and myself.

Though I am a Christian, an Evangelist, and a Missionary, sometimes things are not working out in my family the way one may expect so I need a Heaven-conscious Christian to interact and share my experiences.

Yours in-Christ

Cyprian Unigwe

Hi German Blessing,

When you say that you and your partner have been together for almost four years, are you saying that you are simply dating or living together? I ask this question because you need to clarify that if you are living together, that would explain why your prayers might not be answered. Most married couples call their spouse their husband or wife, yet you refer to her as your partner. That might be the root of our problem. I know that society condones living together, yet what does God say about it? I am not judging you, for I am a sinner saved by God’s grace, yet since you came to me for advice, I need to be honest with you according to our faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior.

We can choose our sins, yet we are not free to choose the consequences of those sins. I encourage you to continue to pray to God and listen for His prompting, speak to your pastor, and do what God’s word in the Bible says.

If you were not living together, why would finances be an issue? I can not say the following in a way that might not offend you, but God’s word says in

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

As far as lying to anyone is not a good thing, lying to your dad seems like something you now regret. https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

If I were you, I would try to get right with God by confessing your sins to Him and turning away from them. You should consider telling your dad the truth, for the truth always comes out somehow.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

God loves you and wants a close relationship with you. I see you mentioned that you pray and fast, but is your heart close to God, and are you honoring him with your life?

I apologize if what I have shared was a little harsh, but I have tried to share it with love and compassion since I lived with my daughter’s mother back in 1981, which was against God’s will for my life, and even though He forgave me, the consequences of my sin have remained even to this day. I figured you would rather hear the truth from me than tell you to keep trying. God wants a close relationship with you. Do you want one with Him?

God bless you, I hope what I have shared was helpful to you,

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
From: GERMAN BLESSING

Subject: relationship/Finance

Message Body:

I and my partner have been together for almost four years. the first few years were good but in late 2020 he started to have financial crises that over time became worse and it seems like the more he tried to fix it, the more it became worse. we prayed, fasted, and sought counsel but it didn’t exactly change, he began to enter into debts and I in a bid to help started entering into debts too because I do not make enough to conveniently care for both of us. we paid back a lot of loans and I had to let go of all the savings that I taught him and he was unable to pay back

We engaged in a lot of prayers and fasting, we tried to hold on to the word of the lord and engaged in a deliverance. but I realized that he became laid back and too comfortable. I was struggling and drowning as the bills were overwhelming me. I couldn’t just sit and watch him suffer so I always tried to help but it was far from convenient. I deferred two semesters in school because I couldn’t pay the fees. he had a vision from GOD telling him the situation had ended and afterward got two interviews but I think with a word of prophecy like this the job search should intensify because the word of the lord has come.

what’s getting to me now is that he took a loan from a loan company and they called my dad telling him that he was used as a guarantor. when this happened, I told my dad it could not be true thinking I knew everything about his loans. I don’t. he took a loan of 31,000 naira and it has been overdue for over two months. I confronted him about it and he owned up to it. I told him to find out how much the fine had accrued so we could figure out how to pay to avoid them calling my dad. he was reluctant and I kept on reminding him until I checked out the company and got their number and email. a few days later he sent them an email to which they responded but did not state the loan amount. I told him to call them he called them, but he said it was the weekend and never called. about 10 days later I got a call from my dad saying they called him and he wanted to know what had happened. I lied to him saying he took a loan from them and had paid back. my dad holds me to a very high standard and I lied to him. if he ever gets to find out I lied a lot of things will be ruined and the trust he has for me will be broken. I called him to discuss it with him and he was trying to make himself feel better by me talking to him.

I’m tired of all of this. I don’t know what to do because God told me he is the one and I love him. I just feel very foolish at this point and worse, I feel confused and hurt because I told him to fix it before they called my dad but it’s not important to him.

PS: in all of this, he is honest, kind and he helps out with other things and even with money when he can

Hi Johnny,

Without knowing what you are struggling with specifically, it is very hard to give you any specific advice. But let me share a few thoughts with you to consider.

I am a Christian, and I suggest that you trust me that I will respectfully speak to you. You may not agree with what I might share with you, but I promise that I will respect you for where you are in your life right now not expecting you to have the same faith as I have, but I will let you know that God has delivered me from drugs and alcohol back on June 25th, 1986. I too have struggled with a couple of Christians over the past 36 years (Christians are just sinners who proclaim to know and follow God and are not perfect) but that has not derailed me from knowing that God was the answer to my problems in life.

I pray that you give me a chance to help you make things less overwhelming to you and possibly give you hope that God does love you and wants the best for you. You might not see it that way right now, but I will pray that God makes Himself real to you today. I may not have all the answers to your questions, but I am very sure I have some of them!

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–

Subject: overwhelmed with discouragement about God

Message Body:

I don’t know how to get help. I don’t trust God anymore.

I’m sorry.

I need help, but Christians get sick of me soon cuz God is the problem and it’s very complicated and heavy

I need God to stop being another bad guy instead of the good guy

Hi Tammy,

Marriage can be difficult, have patience and trust that God will lead you to do and say the right things to your husband.

I can give you some things to consider, but it sounds like talking to a pastor or counselor in person is what the two of you need.

Have you been praying at all about your marriage situation?

https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

Feel free to email me back so I can be of help to you.

Make sure you consider the following:

Eat healthy
Get some exercise
Do not nap during the day, unless only 20 minutes max
Find something to laugh about
Find someone to help, even though it seems you need the help, helping others helps us
Avoid alcohol and drugs
Keep in touch with friends and family
Pray each morning
Read your Bible each morning
Confess any unconfessed sins in your life
Call to make an appointment with your pastor or a counselor
Keep trusting that this storm will pass over soon

God bless you!

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
From: Tammy R

Subject: Fear and hopelessness

Message Body:

Marriage in turmoil and I can’t eat, sleep, or focus, no joy or peace at all.

Hi Morwen,

I am glad to hear that your heart wants to honor God. That is awesome! While reading your email, it dawned on me that you said you made a promise to God to stop doing something. My question to you is, “Why don’t you try again to keep your promise if it is something that honors God?” But keep in mind that God can not be bought or manipulated. If whatever you promised is from your heart and good intentions, I would consider trying again. (I say that without knowing what the promise was.

Also, remember that God knows that we are fallen sinful creatures, and that is why He came to the world to live and die for your sins and mine.

I would strongly encourage you to take this matter you shared with me to God in prayer! https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

Subject: One More Question

Hello,

I’m sorry to bother you again but I have one more question that’s important to me. Does God forgive broken promises to Him?

When I was a kid I swore an oath to God to stop doing something because I thought I could scare myself out of doing it. I did not understand who God was. I see now that I should never have made a promise that I couldn’t keep and doubled my sin by doing it. I even went so far as to “command” God not to forgive me if I broke it. And ever since then I’ve been afraid that He will do as I said and not forgive me. A godly friend pointed out to me that God was like my father, and not so much angry at me as He was like “Huh, why would you do that daughter? Are my promises now enough for you?” And he pointed out Romans 8:34, how there was no condemnation for me. It’s been years and guilt and fear still weigh on me and I’m tired of it. Every time I pray I repent, but it’s hard to forgive myself. Once I even asked a pastor for help but he never responded. Since then I feel like I’ve come to know God better, and the loving God of the Bible doesn’t seem like a god who would hold this against me because I was ignorant when I made it. Sometimes I get scared about the wording of the promise because I “commanded” God in His name not to forgive me, and I feel like He can’t because I somehow “bound” God using His holy name. I know it sounds ridiculous. Does God still love me? Can’t He see that I’ve repented and learned a lesson? Do I only feel unforgiven because of my doubt?

Thank you for your time. I feel bad but I don’t know where else to turn.

Morwen

Hi Monica,

I am sorry to hear about your husband, it must be very difficult. I pray for the doctor that the Lord guides their hands and gives them wisdom to help him!

As far as your burden goes, give it over to God. If you feel it is your fault, confess it to God and He will forgive you as far as the east is from the west!

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I pray that you grow closer to God through praying and reading your Bible. I also pray that your husband will have a full recovery!

God loves you!

Bill

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–
From: Monica G
Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “”

Message Body:

My husband had a brain hemorrhage I’m suffering from a lot of pain and anger. I carry a burden of self-hatred toward myself. It’s my fault my husband is in the hospital. I’m praying and waiting for God to do a miracle for my husband.

Hi Frank,

I encourage you to keep on praying and get with others from your church for fellowship and support.

You mentioned that you are only separated, what are you doing to get back together?

Make sure you take care of not only your spiritual health but also your physical and emotional health.

Be sure that you try to do the following:

Pray each morning.
Read your Bible each morning.
Eat healthy.
Get some exercise each day.
Get 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
Make sure you reach out to your closest friends and family members during this time.
Drink plenty of water.
Avoid alcohol and drugs.
Watch a funny movie and try to laugh a little.
Call up someone who could use some encouragement and try to encourage them.

May God bless you and I pray that God comforts you during this time in your life!

Bill Greguska

NeedEncouragement.com

—–Original Message—–

From: Frank S

Subject: In need of guidance!

Message Body:

Hello,

I am currently going through some of the darkest days of my life and need guidance. I’ve prayed and continue to pray, but I still feel lost and alone. My wife of 21 years and I separated back in April of this year. A lot of ugly things have happened between us during that time, and while I have looked to God for answers, I can’t seem to find them or get myself to a healthy place mentally or spiritually.

Question:

Is the counseling on this website free?

Robert

Response Letter:

Good morning Robert,

Yes, you can get free online counseling by going to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone.

You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone on the phone.

It would recommend that it is important to find a good Bible-believing church to attend to get regular fellowship and teaching from God’s word.

Visit NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church

I hope these suggestions help you out. I will pray that whatever you do, brings you closer to Jesus Christ.

May God bless you and direct your steps!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I just want to chat with someone about some family issues and marriage issues. I am an older adult Christian. I am having problems with depression too.

Lucia

Response Letter:

Hi Lucia,

I see that you would like to chat with someone about family and marriage issues, etc.

You can do so by following this link to be able to chat with someone who cares. NeedEncouragement.com/chat

I pray that before you chat, I encourage you to take your concerns to the Lord first if you have not already done so. Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Have a blessed day!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I want to restore my faith in the Lord. I have led myself astray, and I know he still loves me, and I’m ready to return to my Heavenly Father before it’s too late. He’s been calling me, and I have ignored him for too long. I am a living testimony of his love for us. I’m reaching out to someone to help me.

George

Response Letter:

Hi George,

You do not need to reach out to someone to help you reach out to God directly!

You would benefit from getting back to your church and also talking with your pastor. If you left your church for some reason, check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

If you need to talk with someone online, you can go to NeedEncouragement.com/talk-with-someone. If you rather talk to someone on the phone, you can call 800-633-3446.

It seems that you have an idea of what you need to do, but you need some encouragement to do it. NeedEncouragement.com/get-right-with-god

I pray that you do not put off this vital thing because you are right when you say that it might be too late if you keep putting it off.

May God bless you and welcome you back with open arms that I know He will.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I always believed I was a Christian, but why still struggling with addictions and so many habitual/besetting sins?? Idk. Help!! (Am I a Christian, why so hard to overcome??) I feel so stuck in the muck.

Stacey

Hi Stacey,

It is good to hear from you, and it is also good to hear that your sin is bothering you. Otherwise, you would have an even bigger problem with a hardened heart if it were not bothering you.

We all struggle with sin, you are not the only one, but it is good that it is upsetting. It ought to be. My sin upsets me too! Then I confess it to God, and God will be faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Do not continue to sin because God is full of mercy and grace, but rather turn from your sins with God’s help to honor the one who created you and loves you dearly!

The first thing I would suggest would be to pray about your situation. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray and include God in these battles you are dealing with!

You mentioned sins (plural). May I suggest trying to tackle one at a time (not that you won’t try to deal with the other one (s) but try to get one under control first?

Do you have a church you attend or a pastor that you know? NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church if you do, contact them and get yourself back into church and fellowship with others who are believers who struggle with their sin who themselves can encourage you and give you some accountability.

If you do not have a Bible, then visit NeedEncouragement.com/free-bible to get a free Bible for yourself. I would suggest reading 1 John 1-5, which are just a few pages but packed with a lot of wisdom and encouragement.

If you commit your sin (s) in the same place with the same people, try to avoid these places and people. Keep yourself in prayer each morning to start your day, and pray throughout your day too!

Feel free to call 800-633-3446 to talk to someone who cares and would like to help you!

I will pray for you, Stacey, that this apparent stronghold you have on you will be cast far from you in Jesus’ Name!

Bill Greguska

Continued…

Been in church and praying with others, even trying accountability but not doing well still. I need to be obedient and get out of my way! Thank u so much! I need lots of prayers.

Stacey

Hi Stacey,

There is no better time than now to start. Do the best you can! With Christ, all things are possible. It sure beats not even trying…Right?

Avoid the temptations, avoid the places you fall into temptation, and replace the old habits with new ones. Plus, get out and get some exercise. It works great on stress and temptations, and remember to hold on to God!

I am praying for you!

Bill Greguska

Continued…

It’s been a long time falling into temptation over and over! Too many strongholds. Your website is so wonderful, thank you! Stacey

Hi Stacey,
I am glad you have an accountability partner that will be helpful to you. Needencouragement.com/accountability-partner/
I know you know this, but just a reminder that you do not need actually to be in church to pray, Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

I am praying that you will grow stronger in your walk with the Lord.
How long did it take you to get to the place you are right now? Keep in mind that it might take some time to get used to your new lifestyle. Do not give up!!!

Bill Greguska

Question:

Help regarding anxiety and moving. I would like to get some advice to help me move forward and live a healthy life. I prefer a phone call after 3 pm central. XXX-XXX-XXXX Thank you

Jane

Response Letter:

Hi Jane, I am sorry that I do not do phone counseling. My ministry is website-based, but if you need someone to chat with, you can go to NeedEncouragement.com/chat or call 800-633-3446 any time.

I can give you some great advice by reminding you to pray to God for whatever you are doing, though. I will pray that you can be organized so that your move will not be too stressful.

May God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

Backslid badly, sinned willfully. I ruined my testimony and backslid for three years. I have returned to Jesus, but I know those years are gone and that I could have used them for God’s Glory.

What can I do? I feel useless and ashamed, and I never thought I would have done this when I first got saved.

I read the parable of the soils the seeds fell into. At times I am fearful. There are many warnings in God’s Word about sinning.

Could you help me, please?

Kathy

Response Letter:

Hi Kathy,

I can understand your frustration and your feeling of being ashamed. But ask yourself, are those feelings coming from God or Satan? My advice to you is to humble yourself and get back on the right road. God loves you more than you could imagine. Yes, sin is wrong, but ask yourself why Jesus came to the world, lived, died, and resurrected from the dead. The answer is that we are all sinners!!!

God does not require us to get rid of all our sins before having a relationship with Him. He wants us to come as we are. (we all have fallen short of the glory of God)

I thank God that He opened my eyes to my sin back in June of 1986 when I used drugs and alcohol for the last time. The road was not easy, but with God, He made it possible. God will do the same for you no matter your choice of sin in the recent past.

I pray right now for you, Kathy, that you seek a Christian woman who can help you walk through this time in your life. Get hooked back up with your church, and keep your eyes on the Lord, for our sin may be pleasurable for a time, but it leads to pain and death.

Here are a couple of pages you can check out to hopefully help you.

NeedEncouragement.com/get-right-with-god

NeedEncouragement.com/examine-your-life

NeedEncouragement.com/why-do-people-sin

God Bless you!

Bill Greguska

Question:

Can I marry someone who is not willing to go to church and uses bad language?

Tuva

Response Letter:

Hi Tuva,

You ask a very important and excellent question. I am assuming that you are a Christian.

If you were my daughter, I would write this letter as if I were sending it to her… it says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Also, I would tell you that if your boyfriend is not willing to go to church, and that is a priority of yours (but if he shows some sincere interest and also a willingness to try to stop using bad language), you could continue to date him for some time (maybe a month or two to see if he is showing any effort to clean up his language). If he still does not show any interest in cleaning up his speech or his life, then I would suggest that you seriously “consider” cutting him loose.

There are more factors involved, such as how long you have been dating, whether you have any children together, how often he uses bad language, and if he feels any remorse when he does (besides the fact that it bothers you).

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

You have not shared much information, but if you are sure that you love him and are even mentioning marriage, it would be wise to talk to someone from your church and describe your situation. You are aware that we are all sinners, each with our flavor of sin. Your boyfriend needs to sit down with you and someone else who can work as a mediator and witness how you ought to proceed depending on his attitude.

Take a more precise look at whether you want to be yoked with a non-believer for the rest of your life or until he possibly divorced you. I know what I am saying is harsh to you, but believe me, it is better to question now than get a divorce like I was unevenly yoked.

Another way of looking at your question is what you would tell your very best friend if she said to you that she wanted to marry a guy who used bad language and was unwilling to go to church.

Here is a video that will give you some insights about whether swearing is a sin or not.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/jzHxJUcnvb0

A couple of questions for you to consider:

1. Have you told him how you felt about his bad language?

Colossians 3:8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

NeedEncouragement.com/power-in-words

2. Have you told him that it bothers you that he does not want to go to church?

Hebrews 10:25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church

3. Does your boyfriend believe in God? If he does, ask him what the Bible says about bad language.

Luke 6:45 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

NeedEncouragement.com/sin-temptation

4. I will be praying that God gives you the wisdom to know how to handle the situation that you are in. I will also pray that you pray about this situation too.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

May God bless you and keep you strong!

Bill Greguska

800-633-3446

Question:

I have been with my wife for ten years, and we’re both Christians. I’m a little stronger than she is. She just started to listen to everything God wants her to do, but we’ve been having problems in our marriage.

I want a divorce. I know God doesn’t like that, but I’m starting not to care and getting discouraged with that because I’m unhappy. I need counseling. We need counseling. Can you help? I don’t want to get a divorce, but I don’t want to because that’s what God does not want. Can you help?

Lonnie

Response Letter:

Hi Lonnie,

I will speak from my own experience and also what the Bible says.

First of all, I feel that you need to come to God to pray about this situation… Not to pray about getting a divorce, but pray about how you can strengthen your marriage and get it back on track.

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

If your spouse cheated on you or abandoned you, forgiveness covers a multitude of sins. God provides an escape via a divorce, but at the same time, God hates divorce, so it is undeniable that you need to do whatever you can to keep the two of you together. That could be through prayer, or getting marital counseling. If your spouse has physically or emotionally hurt you, you can temporarily get out of the situation and seek help from a pastor, marriage counselor,

NeedEncouragement.com/free-Christian-counseling

My wife moved out (to find herself) and said she would need 4 months. I gave her the time and space. We did attend marital counseling. Yet, it seemed that she had her mind already made up since I was admitting my responsibilities for the marriage’s failure, yet she could not overlook or forgive me. I did take the narrow gate or the high road sort of speak, and it was excruciating. Then 11 years later, my conscience was clear, and God allowed me to move on with my life in ministry and in general.

NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips

NeedEncouragement.com/improve-your-marriage

NeedEncouragement.com/good-marriage

My suggestions to you are to:

Pray to God for wisdom and strength to keep the marriage alive.
Search your heart figure out where you have gone wrong, and become willing to change.
To humble yourself to your spouse, admitting your part of the problems.
Seek marital counseling or pastoral counseling.
Try to find things you can agree upon with your spouse and focus on them.
Try to address the problems with your spouse and find resolutions to them.

I hope my suggestions have been somewhat of a help to you.

You can also call 800-633-3446

I pray that you seek wise counsel that your heart can soften towards your spouse, and that your marriage will be revised!!!

May God bless you and strengthen your marriage situation. Think back to when you first got married and remember what drew you to your spouse.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I’m interested in email counseling. Do you do that, and how does it work? What are the rates?

Stephan

Response Letter:

Hi Stephen,

I would encourage you to visit NeedEncouragement.com/chat and chat with someone online to help you.

There is no cost for the chat, and you may also be interested in talking to someone on the phone by calling 800-633-3446.

I hope and pray that you get the counseling you are searching for, but remember that the best counsel you can get is right from God in prayer and through his word in the Bible.

I can send you an encouraging email approximately once a week to point you to some more godly insights.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am contemplating divorce, and I was wondering if you have a live chat on this site. Thank you.

Laura

Response Letter:

Hi Laura,

I am sorry to hear that you are having doubts about your marriage. I strongly discourage you from contemplating getting a divorce, not even one more day. God hates divorce, and divorce is not a pretty thing. It is like ripping one flesh into two, very painful for both spouses and all the family and friends involved. I fear God more than I fear man (or my ex). Having said this, I encourage you to consider doing the following.

Pray and ask God what He wants you to do. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray
Look at your part in your wish to contemplate divorce, and reflect on your role in it, rather than only your husband’s part.
Find someone like your pastor to talk with the two of you.
Seek marital counseling.
Do all you can do to fill your marriage vows.
You can get a divorce on the grounds of abandonment or unfaithfulness, but that is not something you have to do.
If he has been physically or emotionally abusing you, a temporary separation is better than a divorce.

Here is a chat site that might be helpful to you, NeedEncouragement.com/chat

Here is a phone number that might be helpful to you as well. 800-633-3446

Before you continue to contemplate divorce, check out ways to improve the marriage you have.

NeedEncouragement.com/improve-your-marriage
NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips
NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage
NeedEncouragement.com/good-marriage

My wife divorced me, and I did all I could to keep the marriage alive, yet she did not want to keep trying. She moved out in an attempt to “Find Herself,” and then after two years of separation, she divorced me. You may think that divorce will solve your problem, yet it will also open the door to many more problems.

I warn you to do all that is in your power to keep the marriage alive. I will pray that God gives you wisdom and the strength to do right, not easy and convenient. Nobody wins in a divorce except the lawyers!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I need Godly women in my life. I am a 52-year-old woman. I’m friendly, happy, joyful, and most of all, I love the Lord Jesus. I need to understand why Christian women don’t make time to be friends with me.

Julie

Response Letter:

Hi Julie,

I am sorry, but I do not understand your question.

Are you looking for a godly woman who can help you in your Christian walk of faith?

You wonder why Christian women don’t make time to be friends with you. Allow me to ask you that same question.

Are you making time to be friends with other Christian women?

There is a page on my website called needencouragement.com/be-a-good-friend. Check it out and the rest of the site to see what you can find.

I pray that you keep in mind that you need to be friendly yourself to have good friends.

I hope what I mentioned helps you!

You can also call 800-633-3446 to talk with a trained Christian counselor.

Bill Greguska

Question:

I have a lot of problems in my life. The status of my relationship is affecting me the most.

Shirley

Response Letter:

Hi Shirley,

I understand that you are having some relationship problems, although that is a very broad term.

The best thing I can suggest you do is to pray about it since you did not give me any real information to help you more. Prayer can be the best tool that you have to work with. Check out this page, NeedEncouragment.com/how-to-pray.

I suggest that you call this phone number to talk with someone in more detail. 800-633-3446

Shirley, I pray that the Lord will comfort you in your troubles and give you the wisdom to know what to do.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

My husband strongly believes in the husband as the household head, and that the woman should be submissive. OK, it says those words in the Bible. Got it. But it goes to God, husband, wife, and family. We don’t have children together. It’s just us. But to what extent should a wife be submissive? If her husband is backslid and back to his old ways of drinking daily and taking drugs of all sorts, I am still submissive to what he wants even though he is not sober-minded.

Should I take the abusive words and actions? I mean, I shouldn’t have to live in fear every day not knowing the man he’s going to be from the minute to the next. I married him knowing about some of the issues. He got saved and became the man I wanted to marry. Six months later, we got married. Now we had been in a relationship for six years at the time. My family wonders why I stayed and why I married him.

I feel God has put me here for a reason. I have left many times and many times have been drawn back to him. I feel God has put me in his life to save him. Knowing the person, he has become since he was saved. He is 80 percent a different man for the better than the man I met.

The Bible says for a wife to her husband, but it also states that a husband should love his wife as God loves the church.

Why does he feel this means for me to bow down to him and allow him to raise his hand to me or take all the harsh words he says daily to me?

Tiffany

Response Letter:

Hi Tiffany,

I am glad that your husband has improved by 80% since you met him, praise God for that! I also thank God that you are not like so many others who bail out like what happened in my marriage when their marriage gets difficult. You are only partially correct when you say that your husband is the head of the household. I highlighted some scriptures below that I would bet have not been discussed. It sounds to me that you need a pastor or counselor to help you walk through your problems. I would suggest doing that as soon as possible. It does not sound like your marriage is in crisis, but if you continue not to address your issues, things might get worse sorry to say.

Husbands ought to love their wives like Christ loved the church. (what did Christ do for the church?) He gave his life up for the church by dying on the cross.

You, the wife, represent the church.
Your husband represents Christ.

Here are a couple of pages to our website that can give you some more ideas. I will be praying that you can try to help your husband even more than you have been doing and that he can understand that there is more to being a man than to raise his hand to you and speak harsh words to you daily. (would Christ do that?) But like I said, he is not going to change just because you want him to, but all you can do is pray for him (have you been doing that?) and respect him unless he is doing or saying something against God’s will. That is why I said that a pastor or counselor would be wonderful to mediate between you to keep your marriage alive and strengthen it.

NeedEncouragement.com/improve-your-marriage

NeedEncouragement.com/marriage-tips

NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage

Instructions for Christian Households

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

24 Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church

30 for we are members of his body.

31 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

33 However, each of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

On the other hand, read this scripture:

Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I am sure that you both have a part to play in your marriage situation. Before you think more about what your husband is doing wrong, think and pray about how to figure out what you are doing wrong, even if it is only a couple of things, start working on the log in your eye before you attempt to take the speck of sawdust from your husband’s eye.

Keep in mind that men need respect and women need love. There are ways to disagree with your husband while showing respect to him. You do not have to be a doormat for him to walk all over you.

Have you told him recently how he can show more love to you? Try asking him, but do not expect that he will change his ways overnight, at least you planted the seed in his mind and heart to know what would please you.

I pray that you will pray about your marriage and pray for your husband.
I pray that you seek to talk to a pastor or counselor.
I pray that you continue to respect your husband (but if he mistreats you by raising his hand to you or swearing at you, do not allow that to continue!
I pray that your marriage gets stronger and that God works in the hearts of both you and your husband.
I pray that you might introduce some romance with your husband.

May God bless you and give you the wisdom to make your marriage better!

Bill Greguska

Question:

Hello, my name is Peter John Duos. About myself, I am from South Sudan. My family and I are Christians. We moved to America in 1999, so we’ve been here for quite a very long time now. You are probably wondering why we are living in America. I was very young when the war happened in my country. Back then, my country was just one big country. It was called Sudan and in the North part of Sudan was where all the Arabs lived. The South was my family, and many Christians lived, and so what happened was the Arabs came on horseback to my village and killed so many Christians, even young infants. They show no mercy. But, luckily with God’s amazing grace, he has shielded and protected my family and led us to safety.

I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters. I am the 4th oldest. Our oldest brother was still in South Sudan when this conflict started. He was in a different area, and my family and I were all together, so we all ran away, leaving him behind, but he was safe. We still contact him over the phone sometimes, and sometimes the signal or connection is bad because he lives in the village.

I am asking for prayers and would also wonder if there was a way you could help me. So I have a friend from the Philippines who is also a Christian, An. She is about 12-13 people under her care, whom she mentors and shares God’s words, so we got to know each other pretty well. She told me that they needed bibles for her and youth groups, and I told her that I would pray and see if I could help her because I don’t have a job. I ended up losing my job. After all, I lost my car, so things have been rough for me, but I know God is still working out something for me. My friend needed about 13 Bibles and wondered if you could help me out and send me free Bibles and make sure to pay you some way once I get a job and back on my feet. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. My email is

Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. God bless!!

Response Letter:

Hi Peter, You can ask for a free bible, but it is one per address, and it needs to be in the USA. Just go to the link NeedEncouragement.com/free-bible and follow the links to get one free bible per household.
I hope this is helpful to you. May God richly bless you,

Bill Greguska

Question:

I would like an accountability partner.

Response Letter:

Hi Micheal,

It is wonderful that you want an accountability partner. You can visit NeedEncouragement.com/accountability-partner.

Or if you want to ask someone you know if you have a Christian friend who would be willing to do this with you, that would be great. If you do not know one, then you can check out some help from your church. If you do not have a church, then check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church. This will help you find a good Bible-believing church in your area.

I pray that you will follow through with what I believe that God put on your heart.

God bless you and keep and share your faith!!!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am homeless and hurting badly. No one cares about me, and I have no money and no home and no support, and I am hurting bad, and I need constant encouragement and attention that I never got growing up, and I am all alone, and my needs are not met, and I have no one to lean on and support I need.

Response Letter:

Hi Christy,

The first thing I suggest is that you pray and that you pray often. If you are new to praying, Check out NeedEcouragement.com/how-to-pray.

Depending on which city you are living in, you would need to google homeless shelters. You can also check our NeedEncouragement.com/phone-helplines.

It sounds like you have burned some bridges in your life, but remember that the Lord will stick with you and help you walk through this situation as He has done in your past.

Do you attend a church? If not, check out NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church.

Thank you for sharing with me. I will be praying that you can find some light in this darker time of life that you are experiencing right now. I also pray that you keep your eyes on the Lord and that you cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5-7

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am 41 years old and in a difficult situation. I raised my two daughters alone after my divorce 18 years ago. My girls are now 20 and 18 years old and in college. I put myself through college when they were young. I never felt that I had the time to date. I worked two jobs much of the time and went to school. I was also very devoted to my girls. I decided to start dating this past summer. I allowed things to get carried away and became intimate too soon. Despite using protection, I became pregnant.

I couldn’t go through with an abortion, and he disappeared when I told him I couldn’t terminate. I feel very ashamed and embarrassed by my situation. I also feel scared and lonely. I raised my daughters not to engage in premarital sex. My oldest daughter is very disappointed in me. I am now 18 weeks along. I’m so overwhelmed by the thought of starting over & facing others. I have so many thoughts and feelings. I want God to help me but feel like I’m being punished.

Response:

Hi Catherine,

You are wise to reach out for help. It is good to get wise counsel, you did not mean to get pregnant, and God knows that too, even better than I can imagine. My first suggestion is to pray before anything else that you do. NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray Yes, you made a mistake (sin), yet you sounded very remorseful and scared about what to do next. God knows your heart, so make sure you guard it. Also, keep in mind that if the Lord is for you, who can be against you?

If I were in your situation, I would humbly tell your daughters how you feel. Your daughter, as you said, is disappointed in you, but the news was a shock to her as well as it was for you. I am sure she loves you and will come to accept reality. It would be wise to tell them what you did was wrong, but the baby inside of you is not wrong. Your baby is a gift from God; you do have two options. One would be to have the baby and look for family and friends who would help support you. That is why I suggested praying first before you do anything!

The second option would be to carry the baby full term and then adapt it to a good couple. These are the only two really good options that you have. You do not have to decide today, but take a few days or even weeks to assess things and plan to raise the baby or adopt the baby to a good couple.

You will have to weigh the pros and cons about keeping the baby and raising the baby yourself with help or giving the baby away, but those are the ONLY 2 good choices as I mentioned, and you agree!

You might also want to contact a counselor and possibly someone in the field of adoption — a counselor or a wise Christian girlfriend that you trust. You may also take time to read 1 John 1:9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Take care of this with God, and you will be able to walk upright no matter what you choose to do.

I, too, have made my share of mistakes (sins), but that is why God is such a great God that He can forgive us when we come to him. My daughter was born out of wedlock, yet God is faithful and just and has allowed me to know her since she was 12 and now will be 35. I say this because whatever happens, remember to do God’s will, which will sometimes be a narrow road, but it is always worth it!

How about your church and pastor, if you have one? If not, maybe this is the time to find a church for support and fellowship, not to mention hearing God’s word regularly. NeedEncouragment.com/find-a-good-church

You can call 800-633-3446 and talk to a trained Christian counselor or chat online with a Christian you can find at NeedEncouragement.com/chat.

I will pray that you do some or all of the things I suggested, keeping in mind that God is with you and will never leave you. I also pray for the wisdom and strength that you will need. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you!

Catherine, you will be fine. Keep your eyes on the Lord.

Bill Greguska

Continued:

Thank you for your encouraging words. I will follow your suggestions. Is a baby still a gift from God when it’s conceived out of sin?

Continued Response:

Hi Cathrine,

You are 100% correct!!!

My daughter was born out of wedlock (in her mother and my sin), but she is a precious gift from God, who I love dearly!!! My relationship with her has not been traditional, but Sherry sure has been a blessing in my life.

Upon thinking more about your situation, on second thought, I think you ought to plan to keep your baby yourself (if you have the means to care for the baby), but if that is not possible, then your only Godly choice is adoption.

You are only 41, and I am sure you would be a wonderful mother again with much experience and love. I am sure you could round up some people to help raise your child. You may need to get government support, but the lion’s share of all support will be coming from God.

Take time to think and even write pros and cons on paper. I have faith that whatever you do will be the right thing for you and your baby.

Keep praying, and God will reveal to you what you ought to do with your baby. I am sure God will make it clear to you either way!

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Call out to God because He hears all our prayers!

Bill Greguska

Continued:

I am leaning towards keeping him. I did meet with an adoption agency a couple of months ago. They were wonderful people, and it was a Christian-based agency. Despite the turmoil, I felt and felt…that option doesn’t feel right for me. I put myself through college when my daughters were young…after my divorce. I am a public school teacher. I could financially make everything work except for daycare. I’d have to file for child support to cover daycare. I wouldn’t qualify for any government assistance.

Although my daughters were disappointed, they both offered to help me. We are close as it was just us 3 for 20 years. They are in college nearby. I am already feeling better after talking it out with you. This baby is a boy, and the blood test proved unlikely to have Down syndrome or any other condition.

The only test that is 100% is amniocentesis, but I chose not to do it due to the risks of harm to the baby. The results of the test wouldn’t affect any of my decisions anyway. Again, thank you for your time. You’ve been very helpful. I go to a huge church. I am going to look for a smaller one.

Question:

Please put me on your email list. Thanks

Response:

Hi Sherri,

I will be glad to add you to my mailing list. Please feel free to let your friends on Facebook and your email list know about us. God bless you in all you do, and have a Happy Thanksgiving full of gratitude!

Bill Greguska

Question:

This will be a long story, but I need advice and a reason to keep going. So growing up, my mom brought me up as a Christian. I used to have so much faith and love. I guess you can say I was an innocent girl. Fast forward to college. Around this time, my older cousin opened up a dental office, and I was told that I had to be a dental hygienist. I didn’t want to be one; I wanted to be a vet, but my extended family always told me I couldn’t be one because I wasn’t smart enough or financially able. They said I had to be a dental hygienist, or they would kick me out of my house and never talk to me again.

Mind you. This wasn’t my mom talking. My mom is deaf and has other health problems, so she was always out of the loop. I was always told growing up that I couldn’t tell her certain things so that she wouldn’t worry. My mom is an innocent soul also, and my extended family helped us out financially, so I think because of that, they felt like they could control me.

Throughout this time, I was made to volunteer at the office all day and every day throughout the week except Sunday with no pay. It happened for about a year. Well, during this time, my life started getting dark. I felt so bullied sometimes by the things they would tell me, for example, that I would have been a loser if it wasn’t for them or that I was a bad person for having friends. Mind you, one time, A drunk driver hit me, and they said it was my fault cause I shouldn’t have gone to the movies with my friends. I started feeling hopeless about my future losing faith cause I couldn’t understand why God allowed this. So fast forward, I got into hygiene school, and throughout that time, even though I hated that profession, I was happy cause I was away from my family. I didn’t have to go to the dental office every day anymore and hear their remarks.

Well, I ended up meeting someone. He worked at a bus station, and I knew my family wouldn’t have approved, so I kept it a secret. After I graduated from hygiene school, they started finding out about him, and I wanted to tell my mom, but I was afraid. Afraid cause my whole life, I was told never to make her worry. So I kept it to myself, and one day they came to talk to me and said, you leave this man, or we’re done with you. I was hurt, but I knew that the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t have him in my life.

I knew it would end if I didn’t have my mom, though. So I broke it off with him. Afterward, they told me that going to school and finding someone without their permission, especially someone they disapproved of because of what I did. That I was on lockdown, with no phone, no bank account, no car, and that I would be volunteering at the dental office again, no pay until they trusted me again, mind you. I was 22 at the time. I didn’t want to live like that anymore. The ultimatum was to choose that or never go near the family again. It killed me cause I knew I might lose my mom, but I left that situation, and they haven’t talked to me since. When I left, I had it in my mind that I would go home and tell my mom what was going on, but they told me that if I went home and talked to her they would call the cops on me.

I was so afraid of them that I believed them and didn’t go home. My mom found out the hard way, and I have regretted it ever since. Fast forward to now, I’m with that guy, and my mom talks to me, but my family turned my sister against me and everyone else. And my mom hates him cause I’m sure they told her that I left cause I wanted to be with him. She doesn’t believe me when I say all the things they did. But that’s my fault for not talking to her beforehand.

Well, I thought I’d be happy out of that situation, but sometimes I feel more and more lost every day, I’m trying to regain my faith, but it’s so hard cause I still don’t understand why I was put in this situation. My boyfriend has anger issues and other personal problems that I didn’t know about until I got kicked out. And now I feel like no matter what I chose, it was gonna suck. Sometimes I feel so unhappy that my life is a mess right now, and I don’t know how to fix it or process it.

Response:

Hi Julie,

You have asked me for my advice, the first thing I would suggest doing would be to pray about your situation.

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

The first question I would have to ask you is, are you a born-again Christian?

NeedEncouragement.com/born-again

You did not mention having a church, but that is another suggestion that I would strongly give you to have some teaching and fellowship.

NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church

It is good to be open to things that others have told you, but you must always measure it up to God’s word and how you feel about certain things. Just because you are in a situation that you are uncomfortable with, you can always make some changes in your life!

As far as your boyfriend, you might sit him down and tell him how you feel about his anger issues. Let him know that he needs to get some help with it because it has become a problem.

NeedEncouragement.com/anger

I will pray that you seek God tonight in prayer before bed and tomorrow morning too. Pray each morning when you wake up and each night when you put your head on the pillow.

Bill Greguska

Question:

Please pray for my marriage.

Response:

Hi Sruthi,

Thank you for contacting me. Your request is very general, but God knows what you are going through. Keep in mind the reason or reasons that you married your spouse. Trust that when you call upon the Lord, He will hear you and give you the wisdom that you need. Remember that all marriages and relationships take work if you want them to work.

There is hope for your marriage, be patient and reach out for help from your pastor or a counselor who can mediate between the two of you. You did not give me any specifics, so I will say that you need to take your marriage to God in prayer and let God fix things.

The less you say to change your spouse, the better off you will be, but instead, take a look at yourself and admit to yourself where you have fallen short of yourself. If you confess your shortcomings to your spouse, maybe that would show you are serious about having a better marriage.

Cast all your anxiety on him (Jesus), for He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7

Check out these pages on my website. I think they can be of help to you. Also, feel free to call 800-633-3446 to talk with someone.

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-forgive

NeedEncouragement.com/better-marriage

NeedEncouragement.com/personal-inventory

Bill Greguska

Question:

Please keep in prayer for depression.

Response:

Hi Pastor,

Thank you for contacting me. I was invited to a pastors/ministry leaders breakfast a few weeks ago, and I heard there that it is common for a pastor can get burnt out or depressed. I will keep you in my prayers, and I pray right now that you take good care of yourself in the coming weeks, as you allow others to help you, and that you rest in the Lord’s care!

Just to let you know how I know somewhat how you are feeling, I was severely depressed in high school, and when my wife and stepson moved out, she eventually divorced me. If you need medical help, there is no shame that I was put on Cymbalta for depression, and it helped me. It might help you too. But keep praying and letting those who love you help you in this time of need.

Keeping it simple, have you been:

Eating healthy? (avoid sugar and caffeine)
Exercising? (at least 20 minutes a day for at least three days a week)
Getting proper sleep? (7-8 hours)
Casting your cares upon the Lord? 1 Peter 5:7
Delegate some of your authority to others for a short season until you are back on your feet.

Check out NeedEncouragement.com/depression

May God Bless you and keep you, and may His face shine down upon you!

Bill Greguska

Question:

I am afraid my depression is going to sink me. I feel so hopeless and useless. I even crossed the road recklessly, hoping a car would knock me over. I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. I feel suicidal, and the pain keeps getting worse. Please help me.

Response:

Hi Rachel,

I can understand that depression is not something fun to go through, I have been depressed a couple of significant times in my life, so I know to some degree what you are going through.

First of all, you need to know that God created you and loves you, and now you need to go to Him in prayer to give you comfort and support at this time. At some point, you will need to figure out the cause of your depression, whether it is a divorce, loss of a job, death of a loved one, etc. But now, in the meantime, realize that you are just going through a tough time, and it will eventually be resolved, and life will come back to normal as spring comes after a cold winter.

Here are three links that I hope will be of help to you!

NeedEncouragement.com/how-to-pray

NeedEncouragement.com/depression

NeedEncouragement.com/suicide-prevention

The first video on this page I think you will like…https://needencouragement.com/bad-days.

If what I have shared does not help, please go to your nearest hospital and get medical help. Taking the medication temporarily can be a good thing to get you unstuck. I am not a doctor, but I was on Cymbalta when I was depressed going through my divorce, and it sure helped me.

But I would first suggest you take your depression to God, I am glad you reached out to me, but do not stop here. I pray that you will seek the help you need to get back on your feet again.

You are not alone. Most people would have to admit that they have at least once thought about the idea of suicide. Suicide prevention saves lives!

There is help available now, and please do not delay!

Even thoughts of living life can make living life such a painful burden. I know that feeling, and that is why you need God’s help and help from others who care, so once again, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

May God bless you and keep you strong!

Bill Greguska

Question:

My husband is asking me to do a sexual act with him that I feel uncomfortable doing. Not because it is singular but because I am extremely “grossed out” by what he wants me to do. I never imagined that sex would include an act such as this…maybe I was naïve. Anyway, we have a great relationship except for this, and it comes up and turns into an argument every few months.

Should I be doing what he wants me to do even though it makes me feel sick to my stomach, and I hate every single minute of it? Am I just being selfish? Should I be submitting myself even when the thought of doing this act makes me hate being married and creates anger in my heart? I feel I can’t tell him any of these feelings because every time I do, it turns into an argument again, and I end up feeling horrible and selfish…yet I can hardly force myself to do what he is asking. Advice or thoughts?

Response:

Hi Annie,

Thank you for contacting us. I do not think it is necessary to share the graphic details, to understand that whatever your husband wants you to do is not selfish. It is your husband who is being selfish. You said that you talked about this to him, and it brings up arguments, so I would suggest that you have your pastor, a counselor, or even a very close couple that you trust to talk things over together. A pastor would be my first suggestion, a counselor my second, and a close couple my third option.

You have tried to please him by submitting to his desires, but if it makes you feel sick to your stomach, enough is enough! I pray that you handle this situation in a godly way, try to keep your emotions out of it, and explain the fact that it makes you sick to your stomach! Your heart is not trying to hold back sex from him, and it is just that what he wants is not something you are willing to do.

I will pray right now for you and your husband that this matter can be settled without any more arguments or hurt feelings. Before you talk with your husband again or your pastor, a counselor, or a couple, take your concerns to God in prayer! 1 Peter 5:7

God bless you both,

Bill Greguska

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it! For Encouragement Call 800-633-3446 ~ Love God And Love Others ~ Luke 10:27

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