• Fishstickscomedy.com

• Can We Make You Laugh?

• Why Silliness Is Important?

• How To Be A Good Friend?

• 16 Minutes Of Humor From An Old Wise Man! ~ Video

• Sitemap?

Ten Ways To Discover Encouragement For Yourself:

1. Encouragement for Relationships
2. Encouragement to End an Addiction 
3. Encouragement for Your Faith 
4. Encouragement from Many Topics
5. Encouragement to Pray Daily
6. Encouragement from our Ideas List
7. Encouragement via Chatting
8. Encouragement from our Sitemap 
9. Encouragement from a Free Bible
10. Encouragement from My Book

Find out what God’s Word says about your situation and what to do about it ~ Click here.

1. ‘Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.’ – Steven Wright
2. ‘A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.’ – Steven Wright
3. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.’ – Steven Wright
4. ‘Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.’ – Steven Wright
5. ‘There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.’ – Steven Wright
6. ‘I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.’ – Steven Wright
7. ‘What’s another word for Thesaurus? – Steven Wright’ – Steven Wright
8. ‘Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.’ – Steven Wright
9. ‘It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.’ – Steven Wright
10. ‘I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.’ – Steven Wright
11. ‘Right now I’m having amnesia and Deja vu at the same time… I think I’ve forgotten this before.’ – Steven Wright
12. ‘I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.” – Steven Wright
13. ‘I intend to live forever. So far, so good.’ – Steven Wright
14. ‘If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?’ – Steven Wright
15. ‘Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.’ – Steven Wright
16. ‘You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?’ – Steven Wright
17. ‘I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world… perhaps you’ve seen it.’ – Steven Wright
18. ‘If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.’ – Steven Wright
19. ‘I bought some instant water one time but I didn’t know what to add to it.’ – Steven Wright
20. ‘I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.’ – Steven Wright
21. ‘I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.’ – Steven Wright
22. ‘Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.’ – Steven Wright
23. ‘Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.’ – Steven Wright
24. ‘I installed a skylight in my apartment… the people who live above me are furious!’ – Steven Wright
25. ‘I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.’ – Steven Wright
26. ‘I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ – Steven Wright
27. ‘I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.’ – Steven Wright
28. ‘I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.” – Steven Wright
29. ‘I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.’ – Steven Wright
30. ‘I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.’ – Steven Wright
31. ‘Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.” – Steven Wright
32. ‘Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.’ – Steven Wright
33. ‘All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.’ – Steven Wright
34. ‘For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.’ – Steven Wright
35. ‘Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.’ – Steven Wright
36. ‘A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.’ – Steven Wright
37. ‘OK, so what’s the speed of dark?’ – Steven Wright
38. ‘It’s like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.’ – Steven Wright
39. ‘I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.’ – Steven Wright
40. ‘I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.’ – Steven Wright
41. ‘If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?’ – Steven Wright
42. ‘When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.’ – Steven Wright
43. ‘I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.’ – Steven Wright
44. ‘If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?’ – Steven Wright
45. ‘Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!” – Steven Wright
46. ‘If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?’ – Steven Wright
47. ‘I have an existential map. It has ‘You are here’ written all over it.’ – Steven Wright
48. ‘If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.’ – Steven Wright
49. ‘They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.’ – Steven Wright
50. ‘I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.’ – Steven Wright
51. ‘I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there.’ – Steven Wright
52. ‘I’m going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.’ – Steven Wright
53. ‘I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.’ – Steven Wright
54. ‘I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.’ – Steven Wright
55. ‘How young can you die of old age?’ – Steven Wright
56. ‘What a nice night for an evening.’ – Steven Wright
57. ‘I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.’ – Steven Wright
58. ‘When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.’ – Steven Wright
59. ‘In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.’ – Steven Wright
60. ‘I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.’ – Steven Wright
61. ‘When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.” – Steven Wright
62. ‘I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.’ – Steven Wright
63. ‘Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.’ – Steven Wright
64. ‘I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.’ – Steven Wright
65. ‘My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.’ – Steven Wright
66. ‘I’m used to seeing it, but it’s weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it’s kind of surreal to have one in your house.’ – Steven Wright
67. ‘If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?’ – Steven Wright
68. ‘Sometimes I wish my first word was ‘quote,’ so that on my death bed, my last words could be ‘end quote.” – Steven Wright
69. ‘There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.’ – Steven Wright
70. ‘If you had a million Shakespeare’s, could they write like a monkey?’ – Steven Wright
71. ‘I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.’ – Steven Wright
72. ‘I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.’ – Steven Wright
73. ‘My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere.’ – Steven Wright
74. ‘There’s something about being in front of a live audience that’s fun. It’s a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can’t get it anywhere else. And I’ve been doing it since I was 23, so it’s part of my being – it’s part of my fabric as a person.’ – Steven Wright
75. ‘I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time.’ – Steven Wright
76. ‘On the other hand, you have different fingers.’ – Steven Wright
77. ‘I got this powdered water – now I don’t know what to add.’ – Steven Wright
78. ‘I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.’ – Steven Wright
79. ‘If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?’ – Steven Wright
80. ‘I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.’ – Steven Wright
81. ‘The other day I… uh, no, that wasn’t me.’ – Steven Wright
82. ‘I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.’ – Steven Wright
83. ‘I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.’ – Steven Wright
84. ‘If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?’ – Steven Wright
85. ‘I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.’ – Steven Wright
86. ‘If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.’ – Steven Wright
87. ‘It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.’ – Steven Wright
88. ‘Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?’ – Steven Wright
89. ‘If God dropped acid, would he see people?’ – Steven Wright
90. ‘My neighbor has a circular driveway… he can’t get out.’ – Steven Wright
91. ‘I invented the cordless extension cord.’ – Steven Wright
92. ‘I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I’m gone.’ – Steven Wright
93. ‘The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.’ – Steven Wright
94. ‘It’s very intense to be in front of a live audience. It’s just an amazing experience. It’s dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It’s electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you’re on this other planet.’ – Steven Wright
95. ‘I haven’t changed at all. I’m the same as when I was 11.’ – Steven Wright
96. ‘I’m addicted to placebos.’ – Steven Wright
97. ‘I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.’ – Steven Wright
98. ‘George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge… you can’t hear him talk.’ – Steven Wright
99. ‘My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.” – Steven Wright
100. ‘Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don’t get it.’ – Steven Wright

Christian Comedians

Tim Hawkins Comedy Videos

Jeff Allen Comedy Videos

Michael Jr. Comedy Videos