Response Letter 6

Letter to the Lord

We do our best to point people to Jesus Christ for the answers to their questions.  If you have a question we can help you with, click here.

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Below are questions from people who wrote in for advice. We always point people to Jesus Christ. We try to have empathy, compassion and offer the best counsel we possibly can considering the emails usually go back and forth two or maybe three times.

 


 

Hi Ann,

I want to start by asking you if you have prayed specifically about this situation that you are in. First of all, we are all sinners, but the question for you is have you by faith decided to follow Jesus? If you answer that question first, I believe your other problems will be easier to deal with.

 

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

You mentioned that he threatened to kill you and has beaten you twice already. You say you can not imagine being married to someone like that.
You are going to have to decide what you are going to do?
Why would I suggest you marry someone like him with what you have said about him?
Why would I suggest you break up with him if he is going to beat you?
I guess I do not understand why you are with him in the first place?
You are going to do some soul searching and decide for yourself what the best thing for Ann would be…Possibly a restraining order is something to consider.

I will pray that God gives you wisdom and the ability to make the right choice in this situation. You have been divorced, and if you get involved with this new guy, it really seems like you are asking for trouble. It seems to me, don’t you agree.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Please pray about it and see where God leads you! I think you will get your answer from God, not anyone else.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Living in sin

Message Body:

I am divorced and got into another relationship. I know it was wrong but now I an unable to get out. He has threatened to kill me if I leave him and he has beaten me twice. It has been almost 7 years and he wants to get married but I can’t imagine being married to someone like that. My question is should I marry him so at least i will not be living in sin or just continue living in sin? I pray and fast but it is not effective since I don’t know if God listens to sinners. I do not take communion. Please help.

Hi Anna,

I am glad you reached out instead of carrying this burden alone. My advice to you is to pray about this situation.
I think you know what the right thing to do would be, but you seem to be allowing your weak flesh to torment you. You need to take a strong stance against the guy you had a crush on. You need to stay clear of him, but if anything, you need to make it perfectly clear that you are now happily married with a child of his.
Yes, you may be having feelings that are bothering you, but you need to put your intellect and God’s wisdom on top of any and all feelings that so easily entangle us.
Playing around with this in your mind will eventually lead you somewhere you do not want to go! You may never pursue the other person again physically, but emotionally you are risking having an emotional affair with him which will directly impact your marriage and family. This is definitely not good for your marriage, and I am sure your husband is feeling it even though he might not know what is going on. I know I am saying this very firmly because if you take this lightly, you are bound to be a very unhappy woman, and even jeopardize your marriage.

To recap what I just said:

  1. Pray about this situation how God wants you do deal with it.
  2. Cut all ties with this other person immediately (except possibly letting him know you are happily married and want to keep it that way!
  3. If you do not run from this situation, you are being very foolish! And will deserve any repercussions that you get including a weakened marriage and potential divorce.
I am speaking this strongly to you since you asked for my advice. You are obviously blind to what could happen if you allow this childlike sparing with the person you had a crush on. It is over, so do not look back, otherwise, your future will not be secure.
I pray that you heed my warning. I said these things because if I came to you for advice, I sure would hope you would be bluntly honest with me like I am being bluntly honest with you!

I pray that you will be wise to flee from this danger and cling to the one you married, who has given you a child.

If you need to communicate more about this, please feel free to do so. If not, I pray that you take my advice!!! Renounce any and all thoughts and feelings for the other person. I pray that your marriage has not been too affected by this yet, but if you do not take a stronger stance, you will be like a moth trying to get closer to the fire, and you know what would happen.
You are a married woman with a child, and I am sure you want to stay that way!.
Please do not make a mistake in this matter, I have warned you the best I know-how. I pray that the Holy Spirit enables you to put this behind and move forward with your husband and child.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

 

May God bless you and give you wisdom and strength!

Bill Greguska

 

Here is a link that could benefit you to watch… https://needencouragement.com/better-marriage/


—–Original Message—–

Subject: Help, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

Message Body:

Hello, my name is Anna. I’ve been married to my husband for almost 3 years. We are both saved. We have a daughter Lately, almost every day I’ve been thinking about another man that actually goes to our church. My husband and I broke up when we were dating and I was kind of pursuing that guy until my husband said he was ready to commit, so I got back together with him. Nothing happened between that other guy I just had a crush on him. It’s been over three years and I’m married with a child now. How do I stop thinking about a little crush I had. I know that’s not what God wants me to do. I don’t know how to fix this.

Hi JoAnn,

My question to you is, “Have you prayed about your excessive complaining?” That would be the first thing I would suggest for you to do. If you have prayed about this already, then I would go to God’s word in Galatians 5:22-23 But, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.
We all do things we know we ought to stop or start doing. In your case, it sounds like using some extra self-control would do you a great deal of help right about now.

Apostle Paul who the Lord inspired him to write in the Bible, Paul even said in Romans 7:14-25 14 

We know that the law is spiritual, but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.a]”>[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

JoAnn, I am sure you have tried with your efforts to stop complaining, but now, try asking God for His help with this battle that is waging war against you.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope these scriptures and my advice will help you in this area of your weakness. I pray that you turn to God for your strength and wisdom and that He will answer your prayers in that way.
If you feel the need to contact me back, please feel free to do so!
May God bless you and keep you close to Him!
Bill Greguska

800-633-3446

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Complaining excessively

Message Body:

I am desperately looking for ways to stop complaining about little things in life.  I never used to be like this.  I’m a young senior and live with my son and his family and want to make them happy not miserable.  I am also a widow

Hi Ab,

I will continue to pray for your exam on March 1, 2020. But I must suggest to you that there are more important things in your life than just your degree. I am not saying that your degree is not important, but what I am suggesting is that your relationship with God is far more important and more far-reaching than your degree. (even though your degree has importance)
We were all made for a purpose, and I believe if God’s purpose for you to be a doctor, that will happen in His time. I encourage you to do your best and lean on the Lord for your help and strength. Check out this link because I think Rick Warren explains things pretty clearly.
Keep your eyes on Christ and live your life for him. You will then find the peace and joy that we all are looking for.
God bless you and I pray that you keep on having faith.

Bill Greguska




Thank you so much for the encouragement, sir bill.

It means a lot to me. It was a great feeling knowing that God is using someone like you to encourage people like me. 
I talked to God earlier through prayers and it refreshed me. He strengthened my weakness and I feel so relieved more than ever.
Sir can I ask a request one more time? I need prayers for my incoming exam this March 1, 2020. 
Thank you so much and God bless you more in this ministry. 
Ab.
——– Original message ——–
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Encouragement and knowing God’s purpose”

Hi Ab,

I am very sorry to hear that you are struggling with your testing to become a doctor. My pastor’s wife, Sue Sauer told me many times to keep an open palm with people and things in my life. Sometimes God chooses His will over our will. Yes, that can hurt, but I would not give up with your pursuing your doctoral degree. I encourage you to keep trying and pray about it more and study harder. I pray that if God equips you, that he will provide a way to pass your test next time. Have faith, God is in control of all of our lives as we submit to His will for us.
I did some searching on Matthew 21:22 and it can be hard to understand and take literally. This is what I found, I hope it makes sense to you and helps you:

Jesus is speaking TO his apostles for our benefit today in pointing out the power of prayer. 

He has just spoken of sufficient belief in him (the word, Jn. 1:1) as to spiritually remove a mountain (maybe alcoholism for me, smoking for you or vice versa) into the sea.  Jesus never said if you don’t have enough faith as to cause a mountain to miraculously jump into the sea your faith is insufficient.  Today it is a must to know the difference in a miracle and the providence of God.  A miracle being = the working of God contrary to nature.  The providence of God = the working of God through nature.  1 Cor. 13:10 clearly tells us miracles are no longer in effect so don’t go thinking it possible to say to a mountain “be ye removed into a sea” and it literally happen, just aint gonna.  Spiritually, “whatsoever ye ask in prayer” is to be considered as whatever you need and ask of God you will receive if it is in your best interest as determined by God.  Remember the “rich young ruler” who ask Jesus “what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” and Jesus answered him ” “you know what to do”  “don’t commit adultery, don’t kill, don’t steal, etc.”  And the young ruler said all this have I done from my youth, and Jesus said, “one thing thou lackest.”  Jesus knew even as God knows, what is best for us.  May cause us to turn away sorrowfully.

I pray that you stay the course and do not give up! Keep in mind to pray and ask God for wisdom.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Encouragement and knowing God’s purpose

Message Body:

Hi, I failed my NMAT 3 times. It is a test to be taken in the Philippines if you want to pursue becoming a doctor. I really asked God for his provisions about this and signs if I will continue. I’m doubting myself since  I will be taking it again for the fourth time this march 2020. It was my childhood dream and I really want to become a doctor but I always failed. I’m really scared now because of the expectations of other people. I really don’t know what to do but God keeps on reminding me of the verse on Matthew 21:22. Huhuhu

Truly appreciate your  concern  I’m  40+ years a Christian I know all the scriptures you shared, it seems  I don’t  understand  them 100% until  the situation  arises  with me        God Bess

 

Hi John,
Keep following the Lord, that is the best advice for you or anyone of us!

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “love you enemies that mistreat you”

I am a prayerful  man all day every day from the time I wake I try to be thankful for everything I am very blessed , also very troubled to whom much is given much is required, that is where I fail 
——– Original message ——–
Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “love you enemies that mistreat you”

Hi John,

I am glad that what I shared with you made some sense. It sounds like it is more of a ghost type of memory that you are dealing with. That can be just about as had to deal with as living in the present with a troublesome person. This scripture I will share with you is not a magic bullet, but if you get it into your heart and memorize it, it will do you well to do so! Say it to yourself whenever you get anxious or inadequate feelings that come your way do to your ex-wife or anyone for that matter. The scripture comes from 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety upon Him, for He cares for you.

It is obvious that your battle is not against flesh and blood like it says in Ephesians 6:12

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
The way to fight these types of battles is with God’s help, and through prayer, that is why my first and most important question to you is, have you been praying about this situation that you are in? If not, then start to pray regularly, if you have been praying, then keep on praying each day. Make prayer a priority in your life! https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Bottom line, I pray that you can keep your eyes focused on the Lord rather than on your ex-wife.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “love you enemies that mistreat you”

Hi thanks, your right, 30 yrs ago I do not deal with her at all now she remarried wealth and doesn’t let me see  or talk to my daughter or grandson. She just wants to hurt me forever . She wanted to go back with me, 5 years ago,  told her no. She didn’t love me, only  herself, didn’t  feel  right.  It’s all my own fault, but no matter it’s very painful.  Today is new. I am a stupid , some women are so beautiful, I was young, I now have chasened myself  I am spoken for. It doesn’t change anything except me, the situation the same. 

 

 

Hi John,

My first and most important question to you is, have you been praying about this situation that you are in?
Some times it is hard to advise without knowing more about what is going on. But hearing what you have shared, makes me wonder why if she is your ex-wife that you still have to deal with her? You say that she is evil, she has beaten you up, stole from you, mistreats you, etc. etc.
In Proverbs 4:23 it talks about guarding our heart…It does not seem to me that you are doing that too well at this point. Do you have someone at your church to talk with such as your pastor or another Christian Brother that can give you support and encouragement
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.

Apparently, you like The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.

 

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
This scripture speaks much truth, yet it is not meant to stay in situations that continue to causes you harm without stepping aside from the person who is sinning against you. In other words, if a person goes down an alley and falls into a hole, and then the next day goes down the same alley and falls into a hole, then on the third day, the person with any wisdom would consider twice about going down that same alley. Do you understand what this story is trying to demonstrate to us?

Bottom line, I hope my suggestions for you have been helpful to you:

  • Praying about this situation you are in.
  • Guarding your heart against your ex-wife.
  • Consider a new way to handle this problem of yours.

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me back and hopefully, I can help you. I pray that you take this to the Lord in prayer. Remember that:

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
May God bless you and show you what you ought to do in this situation and every situation in your life.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: love you enemies that mistreat you

Message Body:

I have been so beat up stolen from  and mistreated  by my ex wife a very evil woman, that steals from even her sister, lies to her for money, always cheating people. she was never like this when we were married? I am shocked she has become so hateful. I was faithful, i worked 2 jobs i took on her 3 children  2 of her children have attacked me, viciously,because i am hurt and don’t fight back and they knew it, i am also disabled with a bullet lodged in my spine at T11, from childhood, now a senior, and the wife is somewhat wealthy owns a home paid for  given to her, by her parents,    so i am really freaking out where are you Lord i am having a hard time loving my enemy, She owes me 1000.00 she promised me , She has never done anything like this before, she is a member cult member lately with the Jehovah Witnesses, saying where is Jesus you have been saying he is coming for 20 years mocking me, How to talk to someone who doesn’t believe in God? not the God I believe in.

Thanks, for sharing. It breaks my heart when I hear about someone having been through a struggle. Because I see just how human we can be.

I’m trying to spend time with my roommate to avoid isolation. I have been suffering too much from isolation. And it’s not natural for me, to just depend on someone for help.
However, it is beneficial. Maybe I will continue to spend time with my roommate, periodically, at least, to help desensitize myself to my pain.
Thanks, for the reply. And I think it’s very possible that I could be restored after waiting for over 2 years. I just hope it’s soon.
But hanging out with my roommate desensitizes me from a lot of worries anyway.
Maybe I should try praying, but I just don’t have too much stamina to keep doing that.
Thanks, for the reply.

Hi Robinson,

I am very glad that you reached out. I am not going to attempt to minimize the pain or anguish that you are experiencing, but I will tell you that there is something you can do to help yourself. You have not shared a lot of details, but all I know for sure is that prayer works! When you pray, you can cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares. (1 Peter 5:7)
I can understand what you are going through to some degree. I was very stressed out in November, and the stress caused me to have a gout attack, then on top of that, I got a terrible cold. Thank God, my supervisor was very understanding at St.Lukes, where I work in food service. I am sure what you are going through sounds much more severe, but, I mention this to you to let you know that to some degree, I feel your pain!
When I read your email, it made me think of Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Robinson, I will pray right now that the Lord not only hears your cry for help but responds to you in whatever way that He finds fitting for you.

In the meantime, please try to be patient while you wait on the Lord. I also pray that you can get your mind off of the pain and frustration that you are experiencing. In Jesus’ name!
One suggestion that I would like to make to you would be to try to encourage someone else in your church or circle of friends and acquaintances. In doing so, you will be a blessing to someone else, and in God’s economy, I am sure you will receive a blessing yourself. Even to send an email to someone that you know who is hurting and could use some encouragement would be what I would suggest.
This ministry came about during a very challenging time in my life. I was going through a divorce back in 2005-07. I asked my pastor and his wife what I could do to repay them for all the counseling and time they spent on trying to keep my marriage together. They did not want money, but they told me all they wanted me to do was to encourage others with the encouragement that I received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
I hope what I have shared with you has been some encouragement to you. If you feel a desire to email me back, please feel free to do so.
May bless you during this difficult season you are in.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Dark Trial
Message Body:
hello. I am going through a dark time, where all i can do is wait. I want to have my energy back. But i dont know how to be restored. I think God may restore me one day, after enough suffering. But i dont see that day anytime soon. Maybe this year.
I want my vitality back. I’d like to prosper. And i fear being miserable, like this for more years.  It’s hard to find peace in this affliction.
Feels like lamentations 3.
Thank you, for reading.
With love, and prayers for you,
Robinson

Thank you so much. I felt relieved sharing it. I have to hide it for too long am happy God loves me. And he is willing to forgive me. Thank you

 

Hi Priscilla,

I am very glad that you reached out for some guidance and support. First of all, I take it that you are a born again believer.in Jesus Christ. If so, then He knows your heart and knows that you are sincerely sorry for allowing your passion to control you. Remember Priscilla that we are all sinners in need of God’s Grace. You do not necessarily need to confess your sins to me, but more importantly we need to confess our sins to God and repent from them. 1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. You may say to yourself that you do not have the power to do so, and you are right, but you do with help from the Holy Spirit who enables you to do such things. That is why your being a Christian is such an important thing. Here is a link that might be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/sex-is-not-a-sport/



If  I were you I would confess this to God and he will forgive you. Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.



I like what Jesus said in John 8:6-11 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

I pray that what I have shared with you, after you have shared with me, will be a start of self forgiveness and to give you the grace from God that He wants to bless you with.


Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: My thought

Good day sir. I appreciate and thank God for using you to touch my life. Actually there is something i have not told anyone close to me. I want to let it out today because i want to forgive myself. When i was little a man called me to his store he was our Neighbor at the market. So i went to meet him. He said funny things to me and he started touching me i could not resist him he touched my private part to 😔. He did that for some time i could not resist him whenever he called me. He always touched  me but did not sleep with me. There was a lady at my church she called me to accompany her to the toilet on sunday morning. Then i was still in primary school. And when i went there she made me touch her and she touched my private part to.

I got addicted to masturbating gradually and oh my God 😭 i caused my sister to commit the same sin.

And i use to beg her to touch me because i was already addicted to it. And the worst part is i seduced my brother to touch me too 😭 i was still a kid. But i did terrible things. Although i am making progress in quiting masturbating i still find it difficult to forgive myself for making my sister masturbate too. Although i think she is not so addicted to it. I just want God to make me a better person. I want wisdom and peace that is all i ask for 😭. Do you think God will grant me that wisdom i seek and peace of mind?

 


Good morning Christy,

Let me reassure you that each one of us goes through difficult times in our lives. My two main suggestions for you are to do what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.

After you have really done just that, I then with great respect and care for you, suggest that you go to the nearest hospital and get a physical check-up, you might be experiencing some depression that if you do not take care of it, you might be feeling the way you do for a longer period of time, unfortunately. I can not tell you what you ought to do, but as a brother in Christ, I can strongly suggest getting help from God first, and then from medical attention.



You say that you are hurting and need people to love you.

 

I am saying my suggestions to you because I love you as a sister in Christ and I feel bad for the pain you are going through. Please trust me to reach out to someone in your community such as a hospital or clinic or simply call 911.

Here are a few links I believe will be of help to you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=127&v=nPPMgpcFmyM&feature=emb_logo

https://needencouragement.com/depression/

https://needencouragement.com/deep-sadness/

https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/

My other suggestion is not to isolate yourself from others. Even going to the store to be around people can be helpful.

Remember that God loves you and has a plan for your life. If you would like to contact me back, please feel free to do so. I am praying that the hurting you are feeling will be resolved for you shortly!

God bless you,

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: I AM HURTING AND NEED PEOPLE TO LOVE ME
Message Body:
PRAY FOR GOD TO LOVE ME AND PRAY FOR PEOPLE NOT TO FORGET ABOUT ME AND PRAY FOR ME TO BE LOVED AND CARED FOR AND PRAY FOR ME NOT TO BE ISOLATED AND PRAY FOR GOD TO ANSWER MY PRAYERS AND PRAY FOR PEOPLE AND GOD TO ENCOURAGE ME AND PRAY FOR ME NOT TO HAVE PROBLEMS AND PRAY FOR CHRISTY NOT TO LIVE ON THE STREETS AND PRAY FOR ME NOT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND PRAY FOR PEOPLE NOT TO REJECT ME THANKS FOR YOUR KIND EMAILS AND PRAYING FOR ME AND THANKS FOR CARING

Thank you Bill 

 

Hi Eloise,

You need some help, and reaching out to me was just a start. You need to contact your pastor, or get into counseling. There is not debate that your husband has sinned, yet I encourage you to take time before you make any decision. I can only help you via email, you guys need someone to sit in the same room with the two of you to talk this out. Having 41 years of marriage and I am sure a kid or two, it is best to take the high road and work this out if he is willing to cooperate with you and whoever you choice to help you.

I am so sorry that you are going through this, but keep your eyes on God and for His prompting, not your knee-jerk reaction to this terrible thing.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you!

He will show you the way to life not to death…




Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Pornography”

Hi Bill ,

I’ve found porn videos hidden in our home in the past years. I’ve suspected it happening again and discovered it again today. I know him very well and he will lie and deny it even though the evidence is right in front of him. I have prayed to God to reveal to me why I hadn’t been able to be intimate with my husband. Today God revealed  what I needed to know. It breaks my heart and I have lost so much trust in him. I feel dirty and I’m also disappointed that he brought this into our home. I know God wants me to forgive him but I can’t see myself staying here. Please reply…

Hi Eloise,

I am sorry to hear about your husband. It must feel like a betrayal, and to a degree it is. You really did not ask me any specific question, but I feel your pain. Now is when you need God the most to guide you and direct you to Himself, so that the two of you cab work tings out. We are commanded to forgive one another, that means to forgive your husband, but your husband needs to earn his trust back with you. Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Although this dose not mean your marriage needs to be over, but it does mean that he needs to be confronted and held accountable by your pastor or a man in your church or someone for sure. This might be something new for him, maybe it is something that he has been doing. Pornography is sin and it is easily be an addiction, lets hope it is not an addiction, it does not mean your husband does not love you, but it means he is not in control of himself. ALL men are visually stimulated. I used to tell my adult daughter when she was looking for a boyfriend years ago, that all men are dogs, but the good men wear a collar and leashed up with God. I tried to tell her to dress properly, but she thought it was the guys responsibility to behave.



What it is, is the lust of the flesh, and original sin. https://needencouragement.com/pornography/



I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him, but do not just forgive him, but make sure he is kept accountable, and even consider getting some internet help like Net Nanny or something.

What does Net Nanny track?

With Net Nanny parental controls, parents can track their child’s location, manage settings for Internet filtering, block websites, view and block apps installed on their child’s device, block pornography, see online searches and screen time usage, receive alerts and reporting, create a curfew for apps and Internet. I pray that God wakes your husband up and realizes what he did was totally wrong and he need to gain back your trust and respect.

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Pornography
Message Body:
Hi, I just discovered my husband of 41 years I watching YouTube pornhub,

Hi Veronique,



I am glad you contacted us. I would like for you to understand that there needs to be order in our lives. God created us and he knows what we need.

First of all, a women needs to be loved, and a man needs to be respected. (this is pretty simple and straight forward)

If you are being loved by your boyfriend in a non-marriage type of way (not having sex) and your boyfriend is being respected by you, you are on the right track.

But if he is not loving and respecting you, there is a problem. If you are not respecting him, that is a problem too.

Are you both Christian? Do you attend a church? https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/

Here are two links that will give you more insights to what it means to honor a husband as you requested.

https://www.gotquestions.org/wives-submit.html

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-honor.html


Ephesians 5:22–24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

The scripture above does not mean a man is any better, smarter, or more capable than a woman, but God who created us, designated man to lead and to provide good orderly direction to the home.

Here are four practical ways women can honor their husbands:

1. Allow him to fail. Here’s a truth that may shock some people, but men are imperfect. They make mistakes. A lot of women damage their marriage relationship by trying to prevent their husbands from making those mistakes. So they correct their husband or tell him what to do. That’s not the wife’s role.

A better approach is to allow him to learn through failure. Let him make a wrong turn. Let him mess up from time to time. Don’t allow him to wallow in self-destructive behavior, but let him be imperfect.

2. Let God be the enforcer. Wives, it’s okay to speak up when your husband does or says something you disagree with. After all, you’re equals. But once you say what you want to say, remember it’s not your job to change him. That’s God’s job. Pray for your husband and rely on God to change his heart and mind.

3. Honor the man you want him to be. Karen did this for me. She treated me better than I deserved, and in doing so, she spoke destiny into me. She made me want to live up to what she saw in me. Men go crazy for honor and will become their fullest, healthiest selves in an atmosphere of respect.

What do you see in your husband? What first attracted you to him? Honor him at that level, and watch him rise to it.

4. Cover his faults and focus on his strengths. The devil wants us to be overly attentive to our spouse’s worst qualities. But God wants us to think about the best qualities in our spouse. I believe, on any given day, the good elements of our lives and relationships outweigh the bad ones.

Women, are you more likely to complain about your husband’s failings or praise him for one of his strengths? Marriage thrives in an atmosphere of praise. It’s a critical discipline to create within your home.

A man’s most important need is for honor and respect. Wives, are you honoring him? According to Ephesians 5:33, it’s one of the things God asks you to do for your marriage.

I hope what I have shared has helped you in some way to understand what honoring a husband looks like.

I pray that the two of you not only grow closer to one another but more importantly closer to God the one who created us all.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact us again. I hope I answered your question good enough.

https://needencouragement.com/free-christian-counseling/

Bill Greguska






Subject: Relationship

Message Body:

I am having trouble understanding what honor my husband means I am not married yet but I have a boyfriend and he says I don’t honor him he doesn’t feel respected. I want to know spiritually what that means. I have a hard time talking to him because In my head I say he I shushing me or I’m saying I’m not perfect which I understand that is the wrong thing to be thinking about but I just do he claims I don’t love him because I can’t follow up with what he asked me to do which is true and I understand that but I just want to know spiritually what that really means, need a Christian counseling

Hi Justin,

I can tell you that I have struggled with depression back in high school and while going through a divorce. If you were really depressed, you would not have to question it, you would know for sure. 

Think of sadness compared to depression with this analogy that our normal body temperature is 98.6 F, so the analogy is that (sadness may be compared to somewhere between 98.7 F to 100.3 F which would be like missing a bus or getting in trouble at work or school) and a fever is listed at 100.4 F and above, (which you could compare to depression potentially such as the loss of a loved one, divorce, suicidal thoughts) I hope this illustration comparison was helpful to you.



People throw the word depression around way too freely. Depression is very powerful to the point of crippling sometimes.


Justin, if you think you still are depressed at the very least, I would suggest seeking medical help right away.

Keep thinking those happy thoughts of gratitude, make sure you get enough sleep, exercise, healthy food, and make sure that you are living a life that is pleasing to God, if you have any unconfessed sin, ask God to forgive you and repent from whatever that maybe? https://needencouragement.com/get-right-with-god/

Here are a few more pages on my website that might be of help to you:

https://needencouragement.com/deep-sadness/

https://needencouragement.com/depression/

https://needencouragement.com/depression-or-sadness/

If you have any more questions or concerns, feel free to contact me back via email. Or you can also call 800-633-3446

May God bless you and keep you strong and close to Him.


Bill Greguska

 



—–Original Message—–

Subject: Fwd: NeedEncouragement.com “Depression”




Subject: Depression

Message Body:

I feel like I’m depressed. I don’t know what it means to be depressed and I’m not sad all the time so I don’t even know if it counts but I have so many things to be happy
For right now and I can’t get out of my own mind and I’m really just sad and I feel defeated

OK. Thank you for the advice, it will help me a lot.

 

Hi,

You asked for a clear answer, and by your request the answer is yes, it goes against the word of God, and yes, if you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are at risk of going to hell. (that is the short clear answer)

Your question takes a little more explanation though…https://www.gotquestions.org/bisexual-bisexuality.html (this is the longer explanation. I suggest listening to it out loud by clicking the button on the web page)
 
But an answer that would be more helpful to you would be something I will attempt to explain to you what the Bible says about homosexuality. First of all, all sins are a violation of God’s will, that could mean, stealing, lying, cheating, etc. That would also include homosexuality which is just another sin against God. All sin is an offense to God, one sin is not bigger than another. I am a sinner and you are a sinner, that is why we need to be saved from our sins by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior.



When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, His death on the cross covers the payment of our sins.

 

(not that we can keep on sinning freely) but His death is payment to God the Father since when we do die someday, God can not allow sin into heaven. If we are sinners not saved by God’s grace through Jesus’ death on the cross, we will not be allowed in heaven, since God is Holy, He will not allow sin near Him.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I would like to know what you mean when you say that you think you may be bisexual?

My suggestion to you is that if you think you are a bisexual, you ought to reconsider. You might also consider checking out a Bible believing church.

https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/

or https://needencouragement.com/free-christian-counseling/


Bill Greguska

P.S. I was curious how you got my email address? It does not matter, but I was curious. I hope what I shared with you has been of help to you. I pray that you seek the Lord in prayer about this topic and everything that comes into your life. The Bible has the answers to our questions.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.




—–Original Message—–

Subject: I just need a clear answer

I am completely Catholic and love God. But I think that I may be bisexual. Please help me. Does it go against the word of God. Am I going to hell if I am?

Hi Lynn,



When I was going through counseling with my pastor and his wife, Sue to attempt to save my marriage back in 2004, they helped me so very very much, and I asked them what can I do to repay them for all their help. they both told me the following scripture. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

I started a phone helpline for a couple of years, then shortly afterward, I started my website NeedEncouragement.com in 2007, and I have been faithfully doing it ever since because God had put it on my heart to do. The reason I tell you this is because I would like to encourage you to start something of your own to help others. You have a tender heart, and you also have wisdom.


It can be anything but do something to help others.

 

Maybe help out at the VA with those who have had PTSD like your friend. Maybe print out some business cards and hand them to people you come in contact with each day. (you can put some encouraging words and perhaps some encouraging websites such as GotQuestions.org or BibleGateWay.com or DivorceCare.org or even my website since you said you liked it. My point is to pay it forward to others so they too can know Jesus, and in doing so, you will be blessed at the same time. That is how I feel with my website. When I try to encourage others, it is like when you put perfume on someone else, and you can not help but get some on yourself…

Lynn, I am glad I could be of some help to you, but remember… I just pointed you to Jesus and you and He did the rest!

Enjoy your peace of mind! And please spread your faith and joy to others…


God bless you!

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Guidance”

Bill, you have already blessed me greatly with your guidance!  It’s more about doing God’s will than pleasing myself…we are fickle creatures, I know this!  I cannot at all picture myself living with these issues long term nor do I believe that I hold the key to helping him overcome them, but perhaps praying for him is the best thing I can do to be of help.  More than anything, I want to represent God positively in this broken world–I did not want to let Him down by walking away.
I am so grateful I found this website and you!  God has surely anointed you with a gift of wisdom to help others!
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you!

 

Hi Lynn,

A mentor friend of mine told me something that made a big impact in my life. It was explained to me that God gives us intellect and emotions, and these are to be used in the proper way or problems can arise. Just like a train, the engine would be like our intellect, and just like a train our emotions would be like the caboose. I honestly believe that your heart is in the right place but your emotions are running your train a little too much to be honest with you.

Use your intellect for a moment and picture you and your friend dating, getting engaged, getting married. I think if you were to be honest with yourself, you realize that even though you love this guy, he is not good medicine for you. (this is not my position to be telling you this, but this is my strong opinion) Lynn, you will have to decide for yourself, and just like my brother told me, “Bill, you make your bed, you will sleep in it.”

It is so very wise that you are gathering information from God’s word to help you to decide, and also opinions from others like me and your closest friends, pastor, etc.

I can see you still being in his life, but if you do, make it PERFECTLY CLEAR TO BE JUST AS FRIENDS. Otherwise, it might be best to let him go, pray for him, and move on with your life. I am sure with your tender heart, that you could easily find someone to love and to you love back in return the way you need.

I hope what I have shared has been of help to you, to at least make you think and decide for yourself. If you have anything else you would like to ask or share, please feel free to do so. Please see additional comments below in Red.

May God bless you and give you both wisdom and peace!


Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Guidance”

Thank you, Bill, for your words of encouragement, resources, and advice!  I really struggled with my decision to walk away.  I have talked to this guy as much as he allows–he avoids deep conversation and anything that may be perceived as criticism. Do you want that in your life for the rest of your life, and greatly risk the chance of divorce? He is a hurt and wounded man, but unfortunately, while he is protecting himself, he is wounding others with his actions.  I truly believe he knows how I feel about him, but I can’t keep allowing hurtful actions, whether or not he means them.  He does have a good heart and means well, but there are boundaries. If your friend ran your foot over with his car, and you knew he did not mean it, you still would have a broken foot right? You know what I am saying. You would be better of being alone for a while and wait on the Lord.  I have been asking God for wisdom literally for months….but I think this guy needs God to move in him at this point.  I wonder if my feelings of unease, confusion, and hurt were not the Holy Spirit trying to guide me into releasing him so God could do His work?  After all, if it is the right person, you should not be confused, at least I would think!



Lynn, I had a girl friend very similar it sound to your friend, I knew her back in about 1990 when I was a newer Christian.

 

She worked for the Milwaukee Journal, I really loved and enjoyed her, I was very comfortable and happy with her, we were both Italian and, she was intellectual and she was also very humorous. We connected pretty good for the most part. She did like to drink often and her lack of faith were two things that were blocks to me. (I had an alcohol problem growing up and I was only sober and drug free since June 25, 1986.) Her and I dated for over well over a year, I always knew that in my heart the fact that she was not a Christian and she drank, really bothered me greatly, (I knew in my heart that this was not good for me) people from church told me I should break up with her, I was only about 30 years old and my thinking was it was better to have someone than nobody which I discovered was not true. I was hoping that her dating me would influence her to change, but it never happened. My relationship with God was and still is more important than having just anyone in my life. My problem, similar to your problem was that I just could not let her go. Looking back in hindsight, it would have been so much better if I would have let her go so much sooner. Does this sound familiar? I think you can relate to my testimony in a way can’t you?



I know I did the right thing, but it was not easy for me, just like this is not easy for you.

 

All I know for sure that we need to let God direct our steps in life, don’t ask me why he allows certain things to happen, but as it says in Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. As Christians we need to keep looking to God for His direction and He will guide us through whatever place in life we find ourselves. It seems like you are processing your thought and feeling, and I know you will make the right choice. I will pray that your decision will not be too difficult for you to make, especially because you know God is directing our steps.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

In any case, I still do love him unconditionally, and as I said, I believe he knows this.  I pray for him continually, that God will open his heart and mind, and he will have the opportunity to experience God’s love in a deep and meaningful way.  He cannot love anyone else deeply until he understands and experiences that love, and I want that for him so badly because it is so amazing!
Thank you again!

 

Hi Lynn,

You sound like you have a tender heart, yet you are also wise enough to know what you can and can not tolerate. My question for you is, have you spoken to him about what you have just shared with me?

Here is a video that might either help you or confuse you even more. My intention is that it helps you think and decide for yourself with God’s help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qYzLU0rm4k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=95&v=ogDBktjLzeU&feature=emb_logo

Find more information at https://needencouragement.com/what-is-love/
plus other pages of my website.



If you were my daughter and asked for my opinion…

 

I would tell you to continue to love him unconditionally, yet if your heart hopes to be married some day, I would tell you to keep your eyes open for who God wants to bring into your life. It may be him, but it also may be someone else. You say that you love him unconditionally which is wonderful, but if you can not handle all of him, then you need to be loving and honest with him to tell him that.



God tells us to love one another, that does not mean necessarily in the same quantity or quality. It means to love one another.

 

  1. It means you need to seek God’s will, and also get more honest and transparent with your friend.
  2. It might mean to reach out to him and set the cards on the table and possibly see what happens?
  3. It might mean that the two of you could remain just friends, unless you have been romantic which would make it a little harder to do?
  4. It might mean breaking up for good and move on?
  5. It might mean adjusting and compensations in your life a little?
  6. It might mean to get wise counseling to help you?
  7. It might mean to ask yourself how much does his struggles with PTSD, ADHD, and has an avoidant attachment mean to you?
  8. It might mean to take a break from seeing each other for 2 weeks to test things?
  9. I do not know because I am not God. I am sure if you ask God He will tell you what you ought to do.
  10. You don’t have to decide today, take time to think and pray and see what the Lord tells you.


This is my bottom line suggestion…

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Lynn, I pray that you seek God’s will for your life and you will be given all that you need.

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Guidance
Message Body:
I am struggling in trying to determine what is the right way to handle an odd situation. I met a Christian man who struggles with PTSD, ADHD, and has an avoidant attachment style due to childhood events. We enjoyed each others’ company and I do love him, but eventually, his issues reared their ugly heads. He tends to push people away, and doesn’t allow anyone to get too close. Long story short, I finally (after dating on and off for a year), felt that the relationship was not God’s best for me. However, I am torn because I may be the only one–besides God, of course–who ever loved him unconditionally. I have prayed for guidance, and because my emotions are involved, I swing all over the place in how to handle this. I have already handed this situation over to God, but do I walk away knowing this stress and confusion is not His best for me and just cut this guy off? Or do I display God’s love by loving him through his struggles, even though he pushes me away? About a month ago, I walked away after feeling that this situation was not right. Yet I still fight myself on whether or not I did the right thing….I know only God can help him, but what if my role was to show him God’s unconditional love and I just let them both down?

Hi Ethan,

I apologize for taking so long to get back to you, I looked at your email the other day, but I did not have the time or words to share with you initially. I want to encourage you, yet at the same time, I am sorry I can not relate to your gender dysphoric and homosexuality. I did google some information but I did not find much that I felt would be of help to you, but I do know since you are a Christian, you have been created in the image of God, and reaching out to God I believe strongly is the best thing you could do.
I am glad you have prayed about this, I am sure that you know that in the scriptures it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
My next thought is that even though you have NO desire to play sports, do hard work (in a physical sense) My encouragement to you would be to consider your body needing physical exercise. https://needencouragement.com/exercise/; I am not saying to join a gym or work out for hours upon hours, but I am saying that you need some exercise. I would start slow with walking and increase things in a week or so.

My next thought is your diet, are you eating healthy or not really.

Your body needs fuel, and possibly the way you are not working out and most likely, not eating real good has some impact on your health and possibly hormonal deficiency if I may call it that.
I can understand you contacting me instead of sharing this at your church, but I think you would benefit from finding someone you can trust and who would be willing to walk you through this issue of yours.
I hope I have made some sense to you, I am not casting stones at you I hope you can tell, but remember that we are all sinful creatures in some way, shape or form, but God has given us all free will to change or stay the same. It seems to me, Ethan, the high road for you would be to seek God’s will, which I believe you already know and ask God for wisdom, strength to be the man he created you to be. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I pray that something I shared can get you on the track you want to be and that you will continue to live out your Christain faith despite this obstacle.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject:
Message Body:
Hello. So, for my whole life, I have been raised Christian, and recently was baptized.  However, I have a couple problems that I used to be able to suppress, but recently are starting to inhibit my ability to enjoy life. I am a male high school student, and I am a gender dysphoric and a homosexual.
I have never really felt attracted to girls as far as I can remember, and recently have been plagued by an onslaught of attraction and thoughts of my male peers. I have never acted on these feelings, nor do I plan too. Yet, even with prayer and contemplation, these feelings and lusts are not going away. So my question is a bit theological. In the Bible, it is stated multiple times that men are not to “lie with a man as they would a woman”. Is it actually sleeping with men that are sinful, or is it having homosexual attraction? So, should I accept who I appear to be (homosexual), and just live my life in chastity, or should I try to fix myself? Conversion therapy is illegal in Oregon, where I live, so that is not an option. If I do need to fix myself, what should I do?

Secondly, I have always been more like my mom than my father for as long as I can remember.

Even now, while I am very firm standing in the fact that I was born male, am male, and will forever be male, I am much more feminine than masculine. I have absolutely NO desire to play sports, do hard work (in a physical sense), or be dominant in anything. But recently, (shortly after these homoerotic tendencies surfaced), I have become very dissatisfied with being male. I want to dress more effeminately. I want to wear makeup. I want to be able to be interested in fashion, pop music, and wear heels. Basically, I have started to wish that I was born a girl. Don’t get me wrong; I am definitely NOT going to become a transgender. But are these thoughts mere daydreaming, or are the detrimental? And how do I get rid of them?
I know, that was a lot. But I am out of ideas and had no idea where else to turn.
Thank you for your thought,
Ethan

Hi Nicholas,



I am glad you decided to reach out, it is good to get other people’s point of view especially since you have already been praying about your situation.

One thought that came to me is the question, have you reached out to others in your church or your pastor? I would suggest that you do that if you did not already.

My personal advice to you would be to keep your friend Riley in an open palm (that means with faith that God can give or take away anything or anyone He chooses).



Sure, if you love her, let her know (which you already have) then be a gentleman and respect her wishes.

 

If God wants her in your life, then it will happen, but if He does not, even if you force the situation, it would not end up good. I think telling her again would not hurt, but if she says no, then respectfully ask her to explain why?

I hope what I shared with you helps, and keep up the good work turning away from alcoholism and your cigarette addiction. I quit drugs and alcohol in 1986 and cigarettes in 1988. Obviously God has a plan for your life, seek to find out what it is.

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Relationships

Message Body:

I have a close friend today. She led me to Christ through her actions and helped me turn away from alcoholism and my cigarette addiction.
I think I fell in love with this young woman three years ago. Riley and I both met in high school and attended the same church. She doesn’t feel the same way, she is actually slowly drifting away because of college. I feel like we are naturally falling apart. She knows that I love her, so that isn’t the issue. I just don’t know what to do. I have prayed for many years for her.

Hi Tara,

I am glad that you have reached out for help. You mentioned about meeting with someone periodically, and the first thing I thought of is that you do have someone like that already by the name of Jesus. I encourage you to keep praying for your marriage and get help from a counselor to so call “referee to hear both sides of the situation.”

https://needencouragement.com/free-christian-counseling

Not to defend your husband, who I am sure is a good man, but I would guess that he is under a lot of stress and does not even realize that he is doing what he is doing. Think of it this way, Tara, if your house was on fire, it would not matter who tried to get it under control or who is the one who called the fire department, right? Just like in your marriage, it does not matter who attempts to get things under control, so I am saying that you are doing the right thing. Keep taking your hurts and feelings to the Lord, and ask the Lord for wisdom.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.



Your husband might or might not be willing to get counseling, so I would suggest that you talk to him and tell him just what you told me. I am sure if he is any kind of Christian man who loves and fears the Lord, he hopefully will pick up on your frustration and hopefully try to help solve this problem between the two of you.

https://needencouragement.com/better-marriage

If he is unwilling, then I strongly suggest that you go to counseling alone by yourself. In the meantime, try to be the best wife you can be to him. In your own efforts, it might be difficult, but ask God to give you wisdom, strength, and patients.

I am glad that you have spoken up, now you need to take some action:

  1. Pray for your husband.
  2. Pray for yourself.
  3. Pray for your marriage.
  4. Pray that your husband would be willing to talk with a Christian counselor
  5. Pray for the right counselor to help you guys.
  6. Get a counselor yourself.
  7. Call 800-633-3446 to talk to a Christian counselor on the phone.
  8. Do something enjoyable with your husband.
  9. Make a nice romantic dinner for the two of you.
  10. Attempt to strike up the romance in your marriage.
  11. Do something nice or buy him a nice little gift for no reason except that you love him.
  12. When hi blames you, instead of defending yourself, ask him what he would have hoped that you would do instead for next time?


Tara, I hope my suggestions help your marriage, feel free to email me back if you have any questions, or just need to vent.

 

I have done that with someone who was trying to help me in the past, and it sure does help. Listening to your concerns might be able to help you, BUT first, take your concerns to God. Keep praying and keep trusting God!

You and your husband are in my prayers!

Bill Greguska ><>




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Relationships

Message Body:

I am pastors wife who has been hurt over relationships. I hold onto anger and my husband, who is also my pastor, is not the best listener as I often begin blaming him for things too. Our relationship has grown distant because of walls that I have built and his lack of hearing me out. I would love someone to meet with periodically to open up instead of bottling it all up and festering resentment. I should have someone to talk to as well.

Hi Matt,



I am glad you decided to reach out by emailing us. My first thought is to ask you if you have prayed about the situation that you have been in? That would definitely be the first thing I would suggest that you do. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

You mentioned having a drinking problem since you were 6 years old, what kind of help did you get in the past that was beneficial to you? https://needencouragement.com/my-drug-and-alcohol-problem/

You also mentioned that you are a Christian too. Are you going to church on a regular basis? Are you involved with any fellowship or Bible study. These are ways of helping yourself.

Bottom line Matt, God has the answers for you, but you need to realize that you need to reach out for help. Do you have a close friend you can confide in, or possibly your pastor or someone from your church?



Matt, keep striving to do better and become closer to God,

He will show you the way you need to follow. On your own, you will not have the power to straighten your life, but put your trust in God and you will understand the power of prayer that I am talking about.
Galatians 5:22-24 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law.
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.


Bill Greguska

 

NeedEncouragement.com



—–Original Message—–

Subject: I just need help
Message Body:
I have had a drinking problem since I was 6, usually, I’m quite agreeable when I drink but as of October 25th, 2019 I physically attacked my brother and during the incident, I accidentally harmed my Mother normally this is a hazard but I am 5″11 and 222pounds I could have severely harmed them, FYI she was forgiving enough to drop the charges not that that changes the fact of what I did. I am too proud to seek counseling but I hoped to get insight from a fellow Christian please note I am fully expecting that whomever gets back to me will not be a medical professional and I will not quote it as such I’m just hoping for a little guidance from my community who I have let down.

Hi Rizwan,



It sounds to me as if you are on the right track, and your request about how I can help you, I would have to say that you need to find a church to attend.

https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/

It would be great to start to pray to Jesus each day. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/

And with that getting a partner who is a Christian to help you walk through your new faith. You can find someone at your new church that I am sure would be willing to help you.

You said, “Jesus love me without any demand,” although He wants us to do His will, and to do this, you need to understand what His will is. The Bible will show you these things. You might want to start in the book of John and then Proverbs.

I pray that you will find the answers that you are looking for and that you keep your eyes on Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Check out https://needencouragement.com/got-questions/ I am sure you can find more answers there. But make sure you connect with a Christian at your new church with the link I gave you above.

God bless you!


Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Hi there!
Message Body:
I’m Muslim but I want to be Christian because I have known Christian is a true religion and Jesus loves me without any demand, so how can you help me?
I’m 21 years old and I’m intermediate but I want to study but no one helps me that is why I searched on Google and found your website.

Hi Emmanuel,

I am glad that you have reached out for help. I am a recovered drug addict and alcoholic myself. I struggled probably similarly as you are struggling, and I too was open for help. I got help, and the last time I used it, thank God was when I was in treatment back on June 25th, 1986. I can remember clearly how much of a love-hate relationship I had with both drugs and alcohol. I am saying all this to let you know that there is help, and it sounds like you are seriously seeking after it. You are going to need to really want to quit because if you are going in with a half-hearted effort, you will continue to struggle. You have to hate the drugs and alcohol and what it has done to you. That attitude and God’s help will see you through! That is my prayer for you…

I would suggest getting an accountability partner to help keep you on the straight and narrow. Do you have a church pastor you could go to for help? If not, it would be good to find a church for support and fellowship. Also, keep in mind that AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)  or NA  (Narcotics Anonymous) are both helpful; I went to them for ten years when I first cleaned up. I remember that making it for 30 days was a big accomplishment.

Whatever it takes to motivate you, Emmanuel, here are a few suggestions to strongly consider:

  1. Start praying to God for His help.
  2. Start to get away from places and people you used with.
  3. Start to exercise, maybe start with taking some walks and use that time to pray.
  4. Start to take better care of your health, eat healthy, sleep 7-8 hours a night.
  5. Start to think about what your triggers are that make you want to drink or use drugs.
  6. Start to get honest with yourself and with God, for He loves you and has a plan for your life that you can not see yet until you stop abusing your body and mind.

If you have any questions, you can email me, and I will be happy to help you if I can.

In the meantime, I pray that you consider my suggestions and, most importantly, start praying regularly to God for help. Emmanuel, I quit using, and I never thought I could, but God is good and wants the best for us all. Check out these two pages plus whatever other pages on my site that you think might be of help.

https://needencouragement.com/my-drug-and-alcohol-problem/

https://needencouragement.com/testimony-of-bill-greguska/

You can also call 800-633-3446 if you want to talk with a person.

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Need help with addiction
Message Body:
Hello I’m seeking help. Struggling with addiction. Substance abuse and addiction to the flesh. I have been smoking Marijuana on and off for past 5-6 years, recently I’ve tried cocaine. I know I’ve crossed a line and I see myself headed now terrible path. I’m seeking help guidance anything. I do believe in God and I do have a relationship with him. I’m struggling to keep my faith, I’m not able to form a connection to him like I once had. I need get ahold of my addiction. Email me any details you may have. Or contact me via phone.

Hi Rachel,

It was very nice that you reached out to your friend. If you and your friend are Christian, my first suggestion would be to pray and ask for God’s wisdom in knowing what to do. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Rachel, I did a little research and found these four websites that might be of help for you to help your friend.


https://cerebralpalsygroup.com/resources/

https://www.cerebralpalsyguide.com/community/

https://www.cerebralpalsyguidance.com/cerebral-palsy/financial-assistance/

https://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2013/11/06/20-cerebral-palsy-resources-you-should-know-about/


I pray that these resources will be of help to your friend. You also mentioned that your friend is struggling with depression; this is a helpful link. https://needencouragement.com/depression/


Bill Greguska

800-633-3446




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Can you give assistance to someone struggling with depression and is in a difficult family situation?

Message Body:

Hi! I’m writing on behalf of a friend who lives in another state from me. She has no one to help her and she’s really depressed, self-harming, and in a difficult family situation. She has CP and she’s living at home with her parents. Her parents are not getting her the help she needs for her depression and she has no friends or church people to turn to. Would you be able to assist her in helping her get the help she needs? Thank you ever so much!
Rachel

Hi Adrian,

I am not familiar with the political and governmental information you are seeking, but I can suggest to you since you are now Christian, that you will benefit significantly by taking this to the Lord in prayer.

Besides that, I am sorry, but I do not know what advice I can give you. Have you talked to other people who you became a Christian? Maybe they have some information that could be of help to you.

James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Adrian, I will pray that God’s word somehow reveals to you what you need. Keep praying.

God bless you,

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Need Help

Message Body:

My name is Adrian and I am from Afghanistan, A few months ago, I converted to Christianity, but unfortunately, my people have been subjecting me to sectarianism, and they are repeatedly threatening to kill me, I can not even go to the government because according to the basic constitution of Afghanistan, which leaves Islam, its punishment is death. I would be very grateful if you can help us or give me some advice.

Hi Dennis,


It is very good to hear back from you, and to hear a somewhat of a favorable report!  While I was reading your email, what came to my mind is that you need to balance what your parents say, with what the Bible says, with what you know is right. Often young people make choices against what their parents say our of rebellion, or against what the Bibles says out of rebellion too. Just keep calm and keep on doing the next right thing. You seem to want to do what is right, and in doing so, right now, your parents are not on the same page.

BUT, as me being a parent myself, my daughter did some things that I was very opposed to, and yes, I did set my boundaries, and there was a standoff for a while, until the Lord spoke to my heart and the Lord’s love and wisdom melted away my cold and judgemental heart. I think that given some time Dennis, your parents will see things the way the Lord wants them to do. It might take a while, but it seems to me you are on the right track and the right train, even though the travel is not smooth right now.

Bottom line, keep doing what God tells you to do to, but be open for wisdom from your parents. It is your life; do not do anything out of anger or rebellion, and love your parents for where they are in their walk with the Lord right now, and pray they see the light like I did.

Thanks for keeping me up to date, and I pray that all things will work out for your good and the good of your girlfriend, baby, yourself and parents. Have confidence in the Lord, for He is the one who is going to show you the way!

God Bless You!


Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Dating”

Hi Bill,

Thank you for your admiration. I give God all the glory.
I’m getting back to you after a few days of deliberately trying to solve these issues. With heart of gratitude, there have been some success of which I’d like to share.
With regards to your questions, my dad’s is a branch pastor serving under the umbrella of a senior pastor with branches around the world – (God’s Church).
About the baby, both my parents are unconcerned as they don’t approve of the mother so it encompasses the child – which breaks my heart so much! I love this child nevertheless I believe God – Acts 27:25. There was a dream my Dad had lately and it concerns me and He has been latch onto the dream revealing its correlation with the girl and fear of being taken away from them forever.

In summary, the dream was about my dad guiding me on a path on the way we say a woman in the stream then she disappeared but our plan to return back was to no avail rather there was also an obstacle in front.

Dad trying to negotiate a way out for us with the obstacle but upon turn around, I was captured. – That’s a big scary dream! I’ve been begging for Gods’ mercy and wisdom to show me what I need to do on this matter as this is serious. Likewise, I want the job as to support my family as well. But my parents dread that I will probably go back to her with marriage and or forget about them. I’ve made a mistake once, and it will be foolishness to ..eat the same vomit – Proverbs 26:11.
Furthermore, my girlfriend and I came to terms to settle ourselves with the child in mind as she’s growing. Nevertheless, she doesn’t know the decision of my parents yet and it would be rather foolish to let her know at this moment. I intend telling her later face to face rather than over the phone. At this moment, I want to do the right thing in God’s sight and not to disappoint Him again. But with this matter, he opted to seek counsel from others and had set conditions as to which determines my returning back.
I know the Lord’s hand is in this and I know within me, I’m scared. This state of confusion turns to desperation, all I seek is God’s help.
Thank you for taking time to read and encourage me.
God bless you,
Dennis.



—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Dating”

Hi Dennis,



I have faith, and I believe that you will do the right thing even though your options are not that great. I admire your morals and ethics. My hat is off to you, young man! 

I must ask you when you say your dad’s church, do you mean his denominational church (small letter) or God’s Church Jesus Christ (Big Letters)?

What is your dad’s solution concerning the baby? I do not promote divorce, even though you are not married, it is like a marriage. It would be best if you talked calmly with your girlfriend and brings stability to the conversation. There is a chance that she will not cooperate, but do not give up trying.


It would be best if you prepare yourself right now

 

to realize that you are in a storm, and you do not know how long this storm will last. I say that to prepare you, not to scare you. Keep calm and keep praying. In the meantime, take care of your health, eat properly, sleep properly, avoid drinking or drugs, get some exercise, and keep praying for God’s mercy and His wisdom. Remember you have a life to live, do not let this overwhelm you.

I do firmly believe that God knows your heart and the condition of your situation. Do not do anything foolish or react in a knee jerk response to your girlfriend or your parents. This might be one of your biggest tests that you will go through in your life. Make sure that you include Jesus every step of the way. He does not promise us a comfortable journey, but He does guarantee a safe landing!

Fly straight and do what the Lord wants you to do, and you will have no regrets! God has given you wisdom, although you need to ask for more concerning this situation you are in presently. I trust that this will all work out for good somehow.


Bill Greguska

 

NeedEncouragement.com

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.





—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Dating”

Hi Bill,

Once again thank you for your swift reply! This indeed has lifted me.
Nevertheless, I understand her concern by expressing letting our daughter grow up without a father. I love this child so much but now, my parents are not in support as it’s somewhat against our tradition. Since the child isn’t registered under me but her mother. I tried to get her to open up with me but I discovered she rather not but defend herself. I’m trying to show her to be honest with me as I want the best for the child as well. 

My parents are bent on me not going into marriage with her based on her spiritual life and our goal is to raise up a child in the fear of God to bring glory to His name. I tried talking to them about an opportunity for her to change but no avail. 

My father’s pain is I disappointed God and himself by having a girlfriend all these years with a child now and considering all the money spent on me.
Also about backsliding from God. He called me a prodigal son! Its hurts My parents want to do what’s right and their pressure made me to act and say harshly to her and I feel bad about this. I understand the decision is on me as well but my father wants me to assure him that when I get back for my job in Asia, I won’t have anything to do with her. Honestly, it’s hard. Ideally staying with your girlfriend and child would be the number one choice and trusting that God will see you thought things. – This is exactly what I want to do but I’m in dilemma between parents (dad saving his face from church) and my life since she’s not a strong believer. 
I shall take your advice and keep praying for God to intervene and wisdom to act accordingly. I want to do the right thing that pleases God.
Thank you for your kind words.
Sincerely,
Dennis.



—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Dating”

Hi Dennis,

I am very sorry to hear about your situation, it is not the end of the world though. I am not sure if I have an exact solution for you that you want to hear, but what I do know for sure is that you need to keep praying about this!

You have gotten yourself into something very serious, which affects not only you but also your girlfriend and the baby to be. My gut response would be to suggest that you take the high road instead of the road of avoidance or convenience, for this is something that is not going away by wishing it away. You will have a son or daughter that needs a father, you can not make your girlfriend say or do anything, but you can control what you say and do to glorify God with your words and deeds.



After praying more about this and considering your dad’s pastoral counseling, I would suggest that you:

 

  1. Make a plan to sit down and peacefully, rationally, and lovingly try to assure her that you want the best for her and the baby, (if that is how you are planning to handle this which I hope is the case).
  2. Since you have known her for seven years, I am hoping your relationship is relatively healthy and can endure some waves, because the waves will come.
  3. Keep in mind that there are going to be costs with having a baby that lasts at least 18+ years. (my daughter is 35, and I still help her out financially a bit)
  4. Find out what is in her heart and mind about what she is planning to do. Women tend to hold on to things longer than men, so be prepared not to hear the end of this for a quite a while possibly.
  5. Look at like there is going to be damage done, but your job is damage control. I believe if you stay the high road and do what is right in God’s eyes, the cost might not be as severe, but if you turn your back on God you would be out of the umbrella of His protection and life could get really difficult and complicated.

 

On a personal note, I went through something like you are going through back in 1982 when my daughter’s mom got pregnant

But in my case, she broke up with me and I only saw my daughter once when she was less than a year old until she turned 12 and insisted on meeting me. That was music to my ears, and from age 12 to age 35, she has been in my life and calls me daddy, and we see each other and talk all the time. (but all those years I know that I had a daughter and when people asked me if I had any kids, I always had to lie because of embarrassment and shame). I thank God that He has replenished the fields that the locust has eaten.

I share this with you to give you a perspective. Ideally staying with your girlfriend and child would be the number one choice and trusting that God will see you thought things. You will have to make that decision yourself, (let your girlfriend tell you what she wants to do, if you can agree upon it and it is godly, then go for it, but if it is not godly, then wisely fight for what you know what the right thing to do would be.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Dennis, I am praying that God will give you the wisdom to know exactly what to do, and the strength to do it!

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Dating

Message Body:

Hi,
Thank you for taking time to read my queries. I have a girl I’ve known since 2012. From university days till today. We meet doing my travel abroad study in Asia. Now we have been going on but along it all, we had a child a year ago out of wedlock and was a struggle to tell my parents especially my dad as he’s a pastor. I felt ashamed, sad, a disappointment to God and family. But I told my dad eventually in April 2019.
The backstory about this lady, she is a smart young lady and on the dean list every year. She has a stubborn, unforgiving, and ungrateful behavior. During school days, I thought of leaving her by befriending another lady to help change my mind from her and maybe end the relationship but it did work out. She found out about some of my lady friends and some I low Ed up and she’s bitter till today. Her behavior has cost me friends, warnings about continuation with her but I refused cos I know she can change. Till lately she got pregnant and I had to focus on that.

Early this year she found out about my past lady friends and she has never been forgiven although there was an affirmation that she did meet some guys during the relationship but denied.

Because of this child, I had to come clean to God, herself and my family. Confessed and opened myself completely which is amicably a dumb move. Nevertheless, this child is innocent and I fought to keep the relationship knowing inside that she has a problem but she’s stubborn to admit. I lost my job early February 2019 and it hasn’t been easy. But God remained merciful to me. We tried to get marriages legally but all to no avail.

The frustration here and there till I decided to go home cos it got hard for me to remain in her country.

She is bitter about my past despite opening up out of goodwill to move to marriage for the sake of the innocent child (knowing fully well within me her personality but believe she can change)but she refused to let go of the mistakes. She randomly gets angry, bitter, says she doesn’t love me and all she sees in me is a different person – liar, cheat and user. This affects the peace in me. God blessed me with a job in the nick of time before my travel back home.
By God’s grace, I visited my hometown in Aug 2019 to be with family and discuss this issue. My dad being a lawyer and pastor has his input and he wants to do things according to the Bible. He has his follies with this girl the same as my mum since this is a cross-cultural relationship there are things we both need to come to a mutual understanding but she’s adamant to change. Nevertheless as I’m preparing to go for my job offer at the same country. My parent’s fears I’ll get back with her and jeopardize my life. Marriage is a serious business.

Yesterday I got fed up and I told her to come clean, open up and try and see to the points I’m trying to help her change to be more convincing to my parents but she’s rather stubborn.

It’s 1:23am now as I write this and she’s been buzzing and begging to reconsider cos of the child and she promises to change but I know her. This act is to secure the marriage and it can get worse during marriage – that’s me and my parents fear.
I’m 29 and she’s 27 but my father is scared of my going back for the job and meeting with her again. He said I’d rather not go but this is my career in line as well. I dunno what to do. I’m confused. What advice can you give me?
God bless you.

Hi Mercy,

I am glad you reached out for some help. It is hard to give you accurate advice because you have only shared a small snapshot of what is going on.
  1. Have you prayed about this together with your husband? 
  2. What is the reason he gives for not wanting to move?
  3. How long of a ride is it?

These kinds of questions you will need to talk about.

Since you asked for spiritual advice, and God’s Word says in Chapter 5 of Ephesians in verse 21, that you need to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And your husband is the head of the family. So just with that, you might want to come to him and share your thoughts and feelings about this school change possibility? Your husband’s charge is to love you like Christ loved the church by giving Himself up for her on the cross. 

Please read this over a couple of times, and then decide what you and your household will do?

For me and my house, we shall serve the Lord. Whatever tactic you have been using, obviously is not working, try a new approach by praying first and then going to your husband again with love and respect, (not with the intent to win the debate) but to get understanding of his resistance, it could be financial, it could be something else. That is why the two of you need to make a date alone uninterrupted to lovingly and prayerfully work this out. Read all the verses but focus a little more on Ephesians 5:21

Ephesians 5:21-29

Instructions for Christian Households

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Focus on this scripture)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—

If your husband refuses to talk about it, then you need to consider getting your pastor or a mutual friend, you both respect to getting involved. But I am sure if you go to your husband in a respectful, loving way, the two of you can reason together.

I will be praying for the two of you to agree. No matter what you guys decide, do not forget to include God in your decision! I hope what I have shared will be of help to you both!
Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Decision
Message Body:
I need spiritual advice for school change.. Since a long journey  to school is  affecting the child’s health…  So I suggested shifting closer to his school but my husband not supportive in the decision rather not supportive in any of the decisions.

Hi Debra,

You are very welcome. I am glad I could have been a help to point you to the Lord. Remember that Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy us, which usually happens through our minds. Do not allow Satan any room in your mind to mess with you anymore!

Remember also that God loves you and wants to help you. Reach out to God with what you have shared with me, and I am sure you will find the clear answers that I believe you are searching for in your life.

If you do not have a church family, I suggest that you find one asap. Animals of prey usually attack their victims who are alone and vulnerable. Check out this link to find a church near you.  https://needencouragement.com/find-a-good-church/

If you think you need someone to talk with, you can call 800-633-3446 or chat online visit https://needencouragement.com/free-christian-counseling/

Debra, since you have been encouraged, I ask you to encourage someone else now.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

God bless you and keep your eyes on the Lord because there is where our answers to our problems are.

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “A very big lie that ruined lives & caused a death.”

My heartfelt thanks for your email.  God will give you a special blessing for what you have done for me.  The fact that you took  time to address my situation is such a tremendous comfort and direction.  Thank you for your advice and for caring.
Sincerely thankful,
Debbie 

 

Good Morning Debra,

I thank you for reaching out to me. Although I trust that you have already taken this situation to God in prayer. I think I understand what you said happened, and I am sure that this has caused some feelings of confusion within your heart. That exactly what is so wonderful about our Lord Jesus Christ. He can put our past as far as the East is from the West. I am not condoning your lie, but you need to keep in mind a few things, first of all:

  1. That you were 13 years old at the time
  2. You were very scared
  3. You were kidnapped
  4. You were violated to a degree

You are going to need to decide what you ought to do or not do. I suggest that you take this to God in prayer and ask God to direct you from this point on. God is our ultimate judge, and bringing this issue back up after over 50 years, I do not see any good coming from doing so, especially since the man is no longer alive. You might have to just live with it and let it go. God will clarify what you ought to do. Here is a scripture that I believe can be of help to you. James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Debra, I pray that you find peace of mind as you take this to God in prayer and that while doing so, you grow even closer to God as a result. As far as your family, pray for them and pray for yourself. I pray that God can reveal himself to you as you come humbly to Him for help.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


May God bless you and give you wisdom and peace!

Bill Greguska




—–Original Message—–

Subject: A very big lie that ruined lives & caused a death.
Message Body:
I was kidnapped and raped at the age of 13 and I told a lie about something that happened (or rather that didn’t happen) and it has ruined my life and caused the rapist’s death.  I have never told anyone this. Now I am 66 yrs. old  and have been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis.  I really need someone’s help as to how to deal with this.  I can’t confess it in person due to the nature of the situation.  Well, here goes- I hope this does not offend you.  Several things happened to me during the kidnap but it came down to the intercourse, the man changed his mind and did not do it.  when giving the statement to the police, they just assumed that he had done it and I was afraid to say that he didn’t because I thought they would just let him go and he wouldn’t be punished for the disgusting things he DID do.  My rape caused major problems for me,my mother and mostly my Father.  I have been living with this guilt for many many years.  Please help me !
Very sincerely,
DF Warner

Good Morning Sacora,

I thank you for trying to resolve your issue of homosexuality. I hope and pray that what I share with you will make things more clear for you.

It is a good thing that you are questioning your concern about homosexuality. That is wonderful that you love Jesus and that it sounds like you want to live your life to please Him. God’s Word makes it clear that all sin is an offense to God. Sin can take many different forms, from lying, cheating, stealing, anger, etc.

Here is a youtube video that can shed some light on your question.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=9&v=aQcZjjDr47k

Sacora, below are a couple of scriptures that can shed some light on your situation and help to redirect your thinking based on the truth from God’s word. I do not judge you, but God’s word makes it very clear God’s will as you read below.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Romans 1:26-27 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

Here is a page from my website that might give you more insight and encouragement. Since you said that you love the Lord, we need to obey Him and begin to do His will in our lives. Before you did not understand, I hope now that you understand, it makes an impact in your life to do what is right and Godly.

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Homosexuality
Message Body:
I’m a lesbian and I struggled with my sexuality for quite some time. I think its ok to be gay and love Jesus but I’m just not sure. I been in love with my straight friend for years and fantasize about her a lot. Should I ask the Lord for forgiveness or is it ok to be gay?

Hi Christy,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. The first thing I would suggest for you to do is to pray to God about this temporary situation. I pray that you will experience God watching over you and that you will rejoice with happiness as you see Him working in your life and I pray for your physical protection that the Lord will provide for you like a shield, and I pray for your health and emotional well being, and I pray that you keep your eyes on the Lord for your guidance and direction.

The next thing that I would suggest you do is to contact 211 Impact 414-773-0211

If you live in Milwaukee, here are a few more phone numbers that can be of help to you.

  • City on a Hill 2224 West Kilbourn 414-931-6670
  • Healing Center 611 West National 414-671-4325
  • Marquette Women & Children Clinic 414-755-6970
  • Recovery Health Services 210 W. Capital  414-727-6320
  • Repair of the Breach Clinic  1335 West Vliet 414- 934-9035 
  • St. Ben’s Clinic 1027 North 9th 414- 765-0606

Milwaukee Emergency Shelters

  • Guest House 1216 North 13th   414-345-3240
  • Hope House (family)   414-645-2122
  • Joy House   414-344-3774
  • Milwaukee Rescue Mission 1820 West Wells   414-935-0200
  • Repair of the Breach 1335 West Vliet  414-934-9305
  • 211 Help Center 414-773-0211
  • Sojourner Truth House (battered women)   414-933-2722
  • UMCS Transitional Living   414-344-1818
  • Vets Place Central  (homeless vets) 3330 West Wells  (Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays 7:00am-10:00 am) 414-342-5000

 Milwaukee Meal Program

  • The Gathering 833 W. Wisconsin  414-272-4122 
  • Gesu Parish 1210 West Michigan 414-288-7101
  • Milwaukee Rescue Mission (Adult men only) Breakfast 6:00 am Lunch 11:00 am Supper 4:00 pm 1820 West Wells  414-935-0200 
  • Central City Churches 3022 West Wisconsin  (lunch 11:30) 414-342-1522
  • St. John the Evangelist 812 North Jackson Street (11:15 am -1:00 pm) 414-276-9814
  • St. Ben’s 924 West Wells  414-271-0135
To talk with a trained Christain counselor, call 800-633-3446
Christy, you also mentioned wanting a job, check out this link. https://needencouragement.com/employment/
For more information, if you are in a different city check out:
May God bless you and keep you close to Him.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: I AM HOMELESS AND HURTING BAD
Message Body:
I HEARD THAT I WOULD NEVER OWN A HOME AND I AM VERY AFRAID OF THE STREETS AND I NEED PEOPLE TO UPLIFT ME AND I LOVE YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT AND ADVICE AND PRAY FOR ME NOT TO LIVE ALL ALONE ON THE STREETS AND PRAY FOR ME NOT TO LIVE OUTSIDE ON THE STREETS AND I NEED HOUSING AND PEOPLE TO TALK TOO AND A JOB THANKS

Hi Katie,

I am glad you reached out. I will try to encourage you the best I can.
My first question since you said you are a Christian, have you been praying about this situation?
Second of all, God is not the author of confusion, but rather satan is the one who has been having you struggle the past 6 months about your sexuality.
Here is a page that I think might be of help to you. https://needencouragement.com/homosexuality
Have you shared this with anyone such as your best friend, parents, pastor, before? Getting this in the open will be to your advantage, but make sure who you share with is trustworthy. 
What types of things do you allow your eyes and ears to see and hear? Maybe that could be what is triggering your unhealthy sexual thoughts. Keep in mind, that praying about this and avoiding those types of situations, you will be able to clear your mind and get right with God again.

Until your prayers start to be answered, remember that temptation is not a sin, it is what we do with our temptations that are sinful or not. 

I pray right now that the Lord will answer your cry for help, and give you the strength to overcome this temptation.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Katie, you need to find your way out from this unnatural temptation. Ask God for help so you can be free once in all.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
I hope what I suggested and pointed you towards will be of help to you. I would love to hear when you conquered this problem you are having. Keep me informed okay?
May God bless you and keep you close to Him!

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Sexual orientation
Message Body:
For about 6 months I’ve really struggled with my sexuality. I’m female and like men but have been looking at women, in the same way, I should be looking and feeling about men. It’s been having an increasing impact on my already poor mental health. Wondering why God gave me this thing to battle with. I can’t cope with it. It’s a constant feeling of guilt and shame. And always thinking my life would be so much easier if I wasn’t a Christian and I can’t help but think that I need to be cured

Hi Nic,
Speaking as one who has gone through a divorce back in 2007, I strongly suggest that you focus your energy on keeping your marriage alive. My marriage was very difficult like yours I imagine, but I choose to pursue keeping my wife and me and my stepson and me all together. She actually moved out for 2 years and during that time, I refused to divorce her because God hates divorce. I tried and tried to keep the marriage going, and because of my trying and trusting God, He has given me a clear conscience even though my wife still ended up divorcing me, but at least I tried. I urge you to do whatever you can do to make things better between the two of you.

Have you prayed about this thought of yours to God? He is the one who has brought the two of you together, and it is Satan who is trying to pull you apart.

Are you and your wife going through marriage counseling? If not, that is what I suggest you do. Divorce is not a pretty thing, and it leaves scars that last a lifetime. It has been 12 years for me since my wife divorced me so she could find herself. I do not wish for anyone to get divorced. God has forgiven you for many of your sins, and you need to forgive your wife for what she has done, or not done. Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
I will be praying with you that get the thought of considering divorce out of your mind and fill your mind with ideas of how you as a man can step back and do what you need to do to keep your marriage alive! https://needencouragement.com/prevent-divorce
  1. Pray
  2. Forgive
  3. Get Christian marriage counseling
  4. And keep praying with me that you can take the high road and get the thought of divorce out of your mind.
If you would like to email me back, please feel free to do so.
May God bless you and strengthen you!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: marriage
Message Body:
considering divorce

Hi Randal,
I am glad you have reached out, it sounds like you are going through a lot with CPS and the police. I would suggest that consider what it says in 1 Peter 5:7 which says, Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.
You can do one of two things, contact me back and let me know what you are concerned about and you can email me. Otherwise, if you would like to talk to someone on the phone, you can call 800-633-3446, and you will be able to speak to someone live. (if they are busy and do not answer the first time, you can try again later, they are a non-profit Christian group).
In the meantime, trust in the Lord that He has your situation under control, even though I am sure it is not a great place to be right now. Keep in mind that you are just in a season in life that this too shall pass. Be strong and have faith! James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
May God bless you and guide your steps!

—–Original Message—–

Subject: needing support
Message Body:
Needing someone to talk to about what is going on with my family and the issues I’m going through with CPS and the police!

Hi Rodesia,
You are very welcome! I hope that something I have pointed out to you will be of help to you.
Take all your problems to God in prayer, and let Him sort them out for you, all you need to do is to follow His direction, and in time all things will work out for the good of those who love the Lord!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Bill Greguska

P.S. I know God has a plan for each of our lives, your job is to find out what that plan is.

—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Break up”

Thank you !!!



Hi Rodeisa,
The Lord knows what you are going through and whatever it is that you need prayer for, keep in mind that He cares for you and loves you. It says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you.
God has watched over you your entire life, and He is not planning to forget about you now. He tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us. Take your prayer right to the throne of God Himself, and He will hear your prayers. https://needencouragement.com/how-to-pray/
Do not ever forget, God loves you and has a plan for your life. Your job is to seek after Him and find out the plan He has for you!
May God bless and keep you near to Himself, and you walk closer to Him each day.
800-633-3446

Bill Greguska

—–Original Message—–

Subject: NeedEncouragement.com “Break up”

Message Body:
I really need prayers I’m going through so much right now

Hi Boon Min,
I am glad you felt like contacting me back. I am sorry to hear that life is kind of a storm right now for you. It will get better. Below are some comments and questions that I wrote inside of your email for you to consider in red. I hope what I have written will be of some help to you!
—–Original Message—–

Subject: Re: NeedEncouragement.com “Healing from chronic bladder infection”

Thank you for replying and even doing research for me. You are very welcome!
I have been reading up extensively, and even working with a specialist, but this condition, chronic cystitis, is a mystery to many urologists even now. I trust that your urologist has asked you about your diet, caffeine intake, exercise and stress level. 
Going online has just shown me how much hopelessness there is on this, and all the fellow sufferers have suffered in all aspects of their lives, they are still trying to find solutions.

I myself am grappling and various aspects of my life are suffering too.

I am just too exhausted. the urologist did some procedures to me and they made things worse. What type of exercises are you doing? Bare minimum walking can be of help to you. NeedEncouragement.com/excercise
As this has gone on for about 8 months, I feel really drained and have begun to feel my faith shaking. God is still the same. This is not the only trial I’ve had in life. I lost my mum at 3. my father beat me a lot when I was young. my family was very poor and sold a lot of things.
I worked very hard all my life, and I got to know God at a young age. Each step of the way I sought direction from God, but it was a very difficult path. Wherever God sent me, life was hard. and I always was given a lot of work, more than others. to honor God, I tried my best not to complain and instead just did all the work to the best of my ability. I ended up sleeping only 5h a day for a long time. after many years, I got promoted and the job scope got better, and that was the very time I got chronic cystitis.

So even though life should be great now, it is not.

Instead, I am exhausted, and very angry every day. I feel robbed. Do you attend a Bible-believing church? You can get support and direction from a good church. NeedEncouragement.com/find-a-good-church I feel that this illness was perfectly timed to make sure I can never be happy. I wrestle with the idea that God loves me and God gives rest, yet I don’t see it in my life. instead, I feel thwarted by God. I have been crying out to him, but he seems to silent. and then work got busier because physically and emotionally I am just not in a good state, and my work ends up piling. Maybe this is a sign that you need to look for a different job? Or take a leave of absence until you can heal up?
Then just now, while feeling unwell, I lied down to rest. instantly I felt the need to go to the toilet again even though I just went. it was so frustrating and overwhelming that I said in my head “you might as well just kill me/ruin my life” because that was what I felt as if God was doing. then I was so helpless, I drifted in and out of sleep, and woke up hearing the thought in my head, which was just repetition of “you might as well ruin my life”. I got freaked out. I don’t want God to ruin my life. I wasn’t challenging God. I just had the thought because I was so frustrated. but it ended up replaying in my mind, and I am so scared that God will really ruin my life, or that the devil will do so and God will just watch.
I am not sure how it works. I feel so unprotected by God.. I wish I could feel more comfort and love from Him, but I pray and feel nothing I hear your pain and frustration, but do yourself a favor and get a piece of paper and a pen, and write down all the things you can be thankful for. Doing this your problems will not disappear magically, but you will gain a better perspective on your life….NeedEncouragement.com/personal-inventory it is all me trying to work myself into a state of faith and work myself to believe God loves me.

Please pray that God will draw me close to Him and help me to see Him as He is. I am so terrified of him now. NeedEncouragement.com/faith-in-God

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I pray to God that you can get your health back a little by little each day, more importantly, I pray that you can realize what you are going through is not something God is doing to punish you. Have you confessed your sins to God and asked forgiveness? 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
If you think your urologist is not helping, but rather hurting you, then you might want to consider getting a new urologist? But first things first, get back your faith and trust in God. For ultimately, He is the one who is going to heal you.
Keep your faith!
Bill Greguska
regards,
Boon Min

Hi Boon,

I am very sorry to hear of the difficulties you are going through. It must be pretty painful for you. Boon, I hope that you have taken this burden of yours to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 teaches us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Have you considered seeing a specialist who might be able to help you more accurately with your problem? I looked up some information that I have on my website and found this link. https://www.verywellhealth.com/urinary-tract-infections-4158392 (I hope this information is helpful to you)
I suggest that you take this to God in prayer, and look to find more information that will help you specifically with your bladder infection. One article I pulled up says to drink plenty of water, which makes a lot of sense to me. 
I pray right now and trust that God will hear our prayer that your bladder infection can quickly heal even though it has been seven months. Because with God, all things are possible. In Jesus name, amen!
May God bless you and help you keep your eyes focused on Him.

Bill Greguska

Subject: Healing from chronic bladder infection

Message Body:
I have been waking up many times at night due to a chronic bladder infection. Have done multiple urine tests but the culture could not pick up the bacteria. My bladder is almost perpetually inflamed and for the past 7 months, I have not slept well. This makes me tired and depressed and the doctor has no clear solutions except to try things by trial and error. Please pray for God’s miraculous healing to be upon me.