You Forgive And Forget, But What About Reconciliation?
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Facts About How To Forgive Others?
- Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Some people are unrepentant. They may not feel like they have done anything wrong. Perhaps, they may be sorry for the moment, but you know that the bad behavior will continue for whatever reason. God does not call us to be in abusive relationships. He does not call us to be doormats or to remain in relationships that are toxic or unhealthy.
- Forgiveness is not easy; saying the words “I forgive” is easy, but to genuinely forgive it takes prayer and faith and continually give it over to God until it does not bother you any longer. When you can think about the wrongdoing and not have it bother you any longer, then you know that you have indeed forgiven.
God commands us to forgive, but be wise because trust needs to be re-earned by the other person who has lost trust as soon as possible. We must be quick to forgive yet careful in our forgetting. Ultimately, we need to try to forgive and forget. Here are some encouraging scriptures about forgiveness.
What To Do When Someone Does You Wrong?
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Learn About Specific Scriptures Of Encouragement!
What does the Open Bible say about forgiving?
What does Biblegateway say about forgiving?
Forgive And Forget, But Trust Needs To Be Regained!
Forgiveness Does Not Mean You Are Condoning Bad Behavior.
- God commands us to forgive. It’s not optional. He is our example, and if He can ask His Heavenly Father to forgive those who nailed Him to a cross, we can learn to forgive with His help. There is absolutely nothing impossible to overlook with God’s help. With really traumatic events, we must work through the pain and the grief, though. Forgiving is not sweeping something under the rug and pretending it didn’t happen. That will only come back to haunt you later.
- It’s not for the person that wronged you. It is to set you free. It is so you are not held prisoner paying the price for someone else’s wrongdoing. Forgiving is for you and you alone. Often the person who has hurt you feels nothing…no shame, guilt, or remorse. The wrongdoer may even have forgotten the event, but we can stay trapped in bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness for years. It can affect our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being while others are oblivious to our pain. Unforgiveness rarely harms the other person. Usually, we are the only victim of our unforgiveness.
- Forgiveness is between you and God. You do not have to go to the other person. Forgiveness is you handing over the wrongdoing and the person who did it and saying, “Lord, I give this to you so you can deal with it. It is between you and them now so that I can be free.”
- Forgiveness does not mean that you “forget” the wrong that was done to you. Forgiveness is like cleaning out a wound. If you don’t clean out an injury, it festers, hurts, and doesn’t heal properly. Once it is cleaned out, it can improve. Once healed, you will always have the scar, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Being Christian, we are allowed to set appropriate boundaries for ourselves to protect ourselves and our families. Having limits that include distancing yourself from someone does not mean that we hate that person or have not forgiven them. We should always pray for that person, though. ~ Peg Gogonelis
What Does The Bible Teach How To Forgive And Forget?
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone what the person did or that you have to trust the person.
- Forgiveness is about getting your heart right with God. It is foremost about your relationship with God.
- It frees you from a lifetime of bondage to a bitter and hardened heart.
- Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act. You’ll have to continue to choose forgiveness.
- We forgive because God has forgiven us. We need to try to forgive and forget.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re letting the other person off the hook. It’s entrusting God to take care of the situation for you.
- Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation. Reconciliation requires genuine repentance on the part of the person who was wrong.
Related Pages Of Encouragement:
A Special Link for a Little Extra Encouragement
Learning How To Forgive And Forget!
Each one of us does or says things to offend one another from time to time.
- When I find myself in that place, I attempt to go to the person I hurt and humbly apologize for what I did or said. I would say something like, “I was wrong for ______, please forgive me?”
- There are other times that both myself and the other person both said or did wrong things. In that case, I would say something like, “I am sorry for my part in this situation. Would you please forgive me? (I would not expect an apology in return, but if there is one, that would be great!
- In both examples, I confessed my sin, wrongdoing, destructive action, or words and then moved on with a clear conscience and hopefully amended relationship.
My brother Tom Greguska has taught me to turn the page and let go of the issue if I have done everything in my power to make things right. In doing so, we free ourselves from the burden of resentment. At the same time, we have done all we can do on our side to offer peace. Remember, what is the greatest command?
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