Can You Forgive And Forget?
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The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, ‘O God, forgive me,’ or ‘Help me.’ Billy Graham
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
What To Do When Someone Does You Wrong?
Facts About How To Forgive Others?
- Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation.Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Some people are unrepentant. They may not feel like they have done anything wrong. Perhaps, they may be sorry for the moment, but you know that the bad behavior will continue for whatever reason. God does not call us to be in abusive relationships. He does not call us to be doormats or to remain in relationships that are toxic or unhealthy.
- Forgiveness is not easy, saying the words, “I forgive” is easy, but to truly forgive, takes prayer and faith and continual giving it over to God until it does not bother you any longer. When you can think about the wrongdoing and not have it bother you any longer, then you know that you have indeed forgiven.
- God commands us to forgive. It’s not optional. He is our example, and if He can ask His Heavenly Father, to forgive those who nailed Him to a cross, we can learn to forgive with His help. There is absolutely nothing that is impossible to overlook with God’s help. With really traumatic events, we must work through the pain and the grief though. Forgiving is not sweeping something under the rug and pretending it didn’t happen. That will only come back to haunt you later.
Forgiveness does not mean you are excusing or condoning bad behavior.
How To Try To Forgive And Forget?
- Forgiveness is for you. It’s not for the person that wronged you. It is to set you free. It is so you are not held prisoner paying the price for someone else’s wrongdoing. Forgiving is for you and you alone. Often the person who has hurt you feels nothing…no shame, guilt or remorse. The wrongdoer may even have forgotten the event, but we can stay trapped in bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness for years. It can affect our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being, while the other person is oblivious to our pain. Unforgiveness rarely harms the other person. Usually, we are the only victim of our unforgiveness.
- Forgiveness is between you and God. You do not have to go to the other person. Forgiveness is you handing over the wrongdoing and the person who did it and saying “Lord, I give this to you so you can deal with it. It is between you and them now so that I can be free.”
- Forgiveness does not mean that you “forget” the wrong that was done to you. Forgiveness is like cleaning out a wound. If you don’t clean out an injury, it festers, hurts and it doesn’t heal properly. Once it is cleaned out, it can improve. Once healed, you will always have the scar, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.
We are allowed, being a Christian to set appropriate boundaries for ourselves to protect ourselves and our families. To have boundaries that include distancing yourself from someone, does not mean that we hate that person, or that we have not forgiven them, We should always pray for that person though. ~ Peg Gogonelis
How To Overcome Unforgiveness In Your Life?
Decisions You Need To Make
- You also have a choice to make things right with someone if you have done them wrong.
- You have a choice to accept someone else’s forgiveness they have come to you and asked you to forgive them.
- Ultimately, we need to try to forgive and forget.
What Does The Bible Teach How To Forgive And Forget?
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone what the person did or that you have to trust the person.
- Forgiveness is about getting your heart right with God. It is foremost about your relationship with God.
- It frees you from a lifetime of bondage to a bitter and hardened heart.
- Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act. You’ll have to continue to choose forgiveness.
- We forgive because God has forgiven us. We need to try to forgive and forget.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re letting the other person off the hook. It’s entrusting God to take care of the situation for you.
- Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation. Reconciliation requires genuine repentance on the part of the person who was wrong.
Related Pages Of Encouragement:
A Special Link for a Little Extra Encouragement
Learning How To Forgive And Forget!
Each one of us does or says things to offend one another from time to time.
- When I find myself in that place, I attempt to go to the person whom I hurt and humbly apologize for what I did or said. I would say something like, “I was wrong for ______, please forgive me?”
- There are other times that both myself and the other person both said or did things that were wrong, in that case, I would say something like, “I am sorry for my part in this situation, would you please forgive me? (I would not expect an apology in return, but if there is one, that would be great!
- In both of the about examples, I was able to confess my sin, wrongdoing, destructive action or words, and move on with a clear conscience and hopefully amended relationship.
My brother Tom Greguska has taught me to turn the page and let go of the issue if you have done everything in your power to make things right. In doing so, we free ourselves from the burden of resentment. At the same time, we have done all we can do on our side to offer peace. Remember what the greatest command is?
It Is As Hard To Forgive Ourselves As Others!
God can you forgive me; I need help. “I just can’t forgive myself.” Who hasn’t thought that at one time or another? The devil would love to keep us in self-condemnation for the things we have done or failed to do. He knows it paralyzes us and prevents us from making the impact that God intended for us.
You must forgive yourself or else drag the unnecessary weight of guilt around your neck until you finally forgive yourself by confessing whatever you have done or failed to do to our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 John 1:9 He does not want you to live with the burden of guilt or shame. Do not hold grudges at all costs!
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